Chinathread: Look at this pig'zhuge balls!

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > Chinathread: Look at this pig'zhuge balls!

Shumagorath: Jun 6, 2001

Shadow0 posted:

What do you mean? I don't understand.

Originally it was thought Russia's obviously fake covid-19 numbers might have been real because no one wants to go there.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 11:57

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# ? May 28, 2024 18:52

Power Khan: Aug 20, 2011; by Fritz the Horse

Mr. Nice! posted:

Question for china goons, some people on 4chan pulled up chinese phone records and are speculating that the 14.4m canceled accounts in the past few months represent the actual death toll from covid-19. I know nothing of the chinese cell phone setup. The poster claimed that people simply do not cancel phone accounts like that because it is linked to alipay. Any credibility to this claim?

I have friends in Toskana, who meant that northern italy is an apocalyptic feverdream with undertakers refusing to get corpses out of houses, because they're lacking protective equipment and field hospitals running triage. The army is using trucks to spread the corpses among crematoria in the area, because there's piles of dead.

That's 400-600 a day, at least that was the rate in the last days.

If you'd be dealing with such a rate in china, you'd have trucks carryng corpses like firewood and they'd have to be burned somewhere out in the open. That's not trivial.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 12:52

SelenicMartian: Sep 14, 2013; Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

On the plus side, the Pope's said he forgives everyone who gets the virus :catholic:

Shumagorath posted:

Originally it was thought Russia's obviously fake covid-19 numbers might have been real because no one wants to go there.

And they'd be right!
A Russian TV channel has run an exclusive interview with the coronavirus.
A medic visited Spain, didn't tell anyone, and ended up speaking at conferences and potentially infecting hundreds.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 14:45

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

If only we had some way of knowing that eating exotic meat might do something like this:

(from AusPol)

Amethyst posted:

https://twitter.com/doctorkarl/status/1241602531366539266

# ? Mar 22, 2020 14:50

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

Megillah Gorilla posted:

If only we had some way of knowing that eating exotic meat might do something like this:

(from AusPol)

Man, kind of reminds me of this articles headline:
WHO endorses Traditional Chinese Medicine. Expect Deaths to Rise.. Except I don't think anyone expected it would be by pandemic.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 14:54

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

SelenicMartian posted:

On the plus side, the Pope's said he forgives everyone who gets the virus

And they'd be right!
A Russian TV channel has run an exclusive interview with the coronavirus.
A medic visited Spain, didn't tell anyone, and ended up speaking at conferences and potentially infecting hundreds.

quote:

Exclusive! Interview with the coronavirus itself! COVID-19 without hesitation talks about what he most appreciates in people, what he needs from us and his plans for the future.

https://twitter.com/infomoscow24/status/1241301763392786432?s=20

I don't know russian but this is lol

# ? Mar 22, 2020 14:59

Dont Touch ME: Apr 1, 2018

Megillah Gorilla posted:

If only we had some way of knowing that eating exotic meat might do something like this:

(from AusPol)

Don't act dumb, bushmeat isn't bad.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 14:59

Hedenius: Aug 23, 2007

Fojar38 posted:

Criticism of Western responses to this are totally fair game, but that criticism also needs to be put in the proper context, namely that China covered it up for 3 months and the WHO was spinning its wheels to avoid upsetting China, and by the time both of them actually admitted that it was happening something like 5 million people had already left Wuhan.

There wasn't really anything that Western governments could do to avoid outbreaks since it was already too late by the time China and the WHO came clean. This is the fundamental cause of this outbreak and that point needs to be hammered home, since China hasn't wasted any time spinning up its propaganda machine to deflect blame, and it's clear that China needs to be held to account and that the WHO needs some sort of reform.

Yeah, imagine if the rest of the world had three extra months to do absolutely nothing. Since doing nothing for two months worked out so well.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:26

Fur20: Nov 14, 2007; すご▞い！
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね！

Dont Touch ME posted:

bushmeat isn't bad at giving you AIDS

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:36

Dont Touch ME: Apr 1, 2018

The White Dragon posted:

What kind of lovely immune system do you have where you are AIDS susceptible in 2020, let alone from bushmeat of all things?

I will eat a pitri dish of HIV cultures and record it if you send one to me.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Mar 22, 2020 15:50

sticksy: May 26, 2004; Nap Ghost

Dont Touch ME posted:

What kind of lovely immune system do you have where you are AIDS susceptible in 2020, let alone from bushmeat of all things?

I will eat a pitri dish of HIV cultures and record it if you send one to me.

Hang on, lemme rustle up some of those fresh HIV cultures I have laying around here somewhere.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:48

PHIZ KALIFA: Dec 21, 2011; #mood

sticksy posted:

Hang on, lemme rustle up some of those fresh HIV cultures I have laying around here somewhere.

you joke but if you can verify an active patient it's actually not at all hard to do.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 16:56

Blistex: Oct 30, 2003; Macho Business
Donkey Wrestler

Poz his negpost.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 18:28

Hedenius: Aug 23, 2007

Fojar38 posted:

Criticism of Western responses to this are totally fair game, but that criticism also needs to be put in the proper context, namely that China covered it up for 3 months and the WHO was spinning its wheels to avoid upsetting China, and by the time both of them actually admitted that it was happening something like 5 million people had already left Wuhan.

There wasn't really anything that Western governments could do to avoid outbreaks since it was already too late by the time China and the WHO came clean. This is the fundamental cause of this outbreak and that point needs to be hammered home, since China hasn't wasted any time spinning up its propaganda machine to deflect blame, and it's clear that China needs to be held to account and that the WHO needs some sort of reform.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 20:35

Explosive Tampons: Jul 9, 2014; Your days are gone!!!

oohhboy posted:

You can't be asymptomatic if you have symptoms... that said you are at heighten risk should you be infected. It's quite possible you are stressing your self out however you have done the right thing calling the doctor and no doubt they have given you far better advice than any of us could. Find some thing to de-stress yourself with which would be good from a mental health angle, something that is often ignored.

Stay safe. Be alert but not endlessly alarmed.

Yeah lol, misuse of the word "asymptomatic" there. Update: not ded yet, symptoms the same. Sure would love to be able to do the drat test for COVID-19 to kill anxiety once and for all though.
I don't even have to do home office anymore so at least I can kill time with games and books. Just read I Am Legend by Richard Matheson yesterday, great book.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 23:19

Cheesemaster200: Feb 11, 2004; Guard of the Citadel

Megillah Gorilla posted:

If only we had some way of knowing that eating exotic meat might do something like this:

(from AusPol)

I love how that tweet is trying to spin it like Australia hosed up for not creating a pandemic unit for a response to the inevitable threat of Chinese eating SARS bats.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 23:36

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Hedenius posted:

what the gently caress is this

# ? Mar 22, 2020 23:40

The junk collector: Aug 10, 2005; Hey do you want that motherboard?

Grand Fromage posted:

There are a bunch, here's one that has more links within it: https://www.chinalawblog.com/2020/03/chinas-other-supply-chain-infection-forced-labor.html

Thanks.

# ? Mar 22, 2020 23:43

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

Hedenius posted:

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

what the gently caress is this

# ? Mar 23, 2020 00:03

peanut: Sep 9, 2007

SelenicMartian posted:

A Russian TV channel has run an exclusive interview with the coronavirus.

Russia is cool and good and has nice things for tourists to enjoy. I like it.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 00:17

McSpanky: Jan 16, 2005

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

what the gently caress is this

a epic pwn goonsir

# ? Mar 23, 2020 01:22

Shumagorath: Jun 6, 2001

why would the pandemic response go brrr when welding and corpse pyres are both very hot

# ? Mar 23, 2020 01:24

Kharnifex: Sep 11, 2001; The Banter is better in AusGBS

Hedenius posted:

Buuuurrr

# ? Mar 23, 2020 01:25

DeadFatDuckFat: Oct 29, 2012; This avatar brought to you by the 'save our dead gay forums' foundation.

Kharnifex posted:

Buuuurrr

Pandemic response should lay off the peanut butter?

# ? Mar 23, 2020 01:33

Kharnifex: Sep 11, 2001; The Banter is better in AusGBS

It's never oily or dry!

# ? Mar 23, 2020 01:36

Shumagorath: Jun 6, 2001

why does pandemic response look like he own balls

# ? Mar 23, 2020 01:38

WarpedNaba: Feb 8, 2012; Being social makes me swell!

He infect on he own balls

A shameful pathogen.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 02:07

Fallen Hamprince: Nov 12, 2016

Hedenius posted:

the virgin "shut down the economy for months to save lives"

the chad "let all the old people die so you don't have to pay their pensions"

https://twitter.com/teoleary1/status/1241988994579091456?s=20

# ? Mar 23, 2020 08:52

Fallen Hamprince: Nov 12, 2016

1) make low/zero new domestic cases the sole metric of response effectiveness

2) local officials stop testing people so the number of new domestic cases goes to zero

3) 💀💀💀

4) pandemic control!

# ? Mar 23, 2020 08:56

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

Can't show any positive tests if you don't test anyone.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 09:06

Akratic Method: Mar 9, 2013; It's going to pay off eventually--I'm sure of it.

Any day now.

Fallen Hamprince posted:

1) make low/zero new domestic cases the sole metric of response effectiveness

2) local officials stop testing people so the number of new domestic cases goes to zero

3) 💀💀💀

4) pandemic control!

"You will always see improvements in exactly what you choose to measure, no more, no less" is one of those really depressing truisms.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 09:27

Alan Smithee: Jan 4, 2005; A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms.

Enthusiasms, enthusiasms...

I'm still bewildered that lijian zhao was able to talk all that poo poo

like, is the chinese govt tacitly approving of what he said?

# ? Mar 23, 2020 09:57

Ailumao: Nov 4, 2004

Akratic Method posted:

"You will always see improvements in exactly what you choose to measure, no more, no less" is one of those really depressing truisms.

it's working for Japan! They came out and announced the Olympics are still on!

# ? Mar 23, 2020 10:34

Rinkles: Oct 24, 2010; What I'm getting at is...
Do you feel the same way?

Magna Kaser posted:

it's working for Japan! They came out and announced the Olympics are still on!

Is that really up to them?

# ? Mar 23, 2020 10:38

peanut: Sep 9, 2007

Still waiting for an official decisive announcement.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 10:46

Nektu: Jul 4, 2007; FUKKEN FUUUUUUCK; Cybernetic Crumb

Rinkles posted:

Is that really up to them?

Lol if you think that the olympic comitee will stop the grift engine for anything.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 10:55

Kill All Cops: Apr 11, 2007; Pacheco de Chocobo; Hell Gem

all signs are leading to postponement like the Euros being moved to next year

# ? Mar 23, 2020 10:58

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Rinkles posted:

Is that really up to them?

Canada just officially said they are not coming. japan really should just cancel it and save themselves the shame of having everyone else do it for them

and this was going to be the Goku Olympics