UKMT March 2020 - Bojo got the Covo - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT March 2020 - Bojo got the Covo

Who is your first pick in the deputy leadership race? This poll is closed.
R. Allin-Khan	6	1.60%
R. Burgon	80	21.33%
D. Butler	72	19.20%
A. Rayner	35	9.33%
I. Murray	5	1.33%
P. Flaps	177	47.20%
Total:	375 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

If b&q are still open on my way home I'm getting a toilet seat

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:12

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 26, 2024 05:55

Kassad: Nov 12, 2005; It's about time.

Comrade Fakename posted:

What does "lockdown" even actually mean? The supermarkets are still open in Italy, right?

It's mostly "don't go hanging out in crowded areas like restaurants, bars, parks, stores that don't sell essentials, and so on". Public transport and workplaces don't count, though.

Also voting stations in France's case.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:12

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

If I get the rona I'm going to put all my lovely toilet paper in envelopes and post it to tories

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:13

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

My ringpiece is clenched in anticipation of your trip report.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:13

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

Jose posted:

If b&q are still open on my way home I'm getting a toilet seat

Haven't you heard? Your workplace is the only one still open in Britain. You will never get to install that bidet and your arsehole will grow ever more fetid. Sorry

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:13

NotJustANumber99: Feb 15, 2012; somehow that last av was even worse than your posting

At DEFRA they've all cycled/walked in to collect their monitors to carry home so now want a lift home. Should I do that? It's not my problem. But we're supposed to help each other? I would obviously carry a printer but I dunno about a monitor during a pandemic.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:17

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

So is the Jobcentre open?

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:19

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

forkboy84 posted:

Mike Huckabee recommends just wiping your arse with corn cobs

That sounds dangerously close to the sodomy he so opposes.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:22

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

NotJustANumber99 posted:

At DEFRA they've all cycled/walked in to collect their monitors to carry home so now want a lift home. Should I do that? It's not my problem. But we're supposed to help each other? I would obviously carry a printer but I dunno about a monitor during a pandemic.

They should get a taxi/uber, those poor guys are going to be hammered over the next few weeks/months

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:23

AceClown: Sep 11, 2005

UKMTSF update:

The UKMT Solidarity Fund is now live!

How to Donate Funds: Paypal - https://paypal.me/ukmtsolidarity OR Bank Transfer - PM IrvingWashington (aka Bill Drummond on Discord) for account details
How to Apply for Funds: Fill in the Google Form OR PM a committee member on forum or Discord: AceClown, Fargle (discord only), Maugrim, Oscar Diggs or Rarity.

Current balance of funds is �1990.01 not including pending transactions.

We have so far paid out approx. �170 and change assisting goons, a full report will be published as per the charter on the 1st of April.

Massive massive thanks to everyone who has contributed so far, goons really are the best people, thank you.

Also wanted to add that we have specifically fast-tracked the setup of the fund to assist during this lovely time, if you are struggling please consider applying, the only people who are benefiting from the funds in hold are our capitalist overlords and we'd much prefer to be helping goons and not fascist bankers.

Solidarity to all.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:27

blunt: Jul 7, 2005

NotJustANumber99 posted:

At DEFRA they've all cycled/walked in to collect their monitors to carry home so now want a lift home. Should I do that? It's not my problem. But we're supposed to help each other? I would obviously carry a printer but I dunno about a monitor during a pandemic.

If you're feeling especially generous they could put their gear in your boot but then cycle home to their house...

Let them do the lifting though

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:29

Loonytoad Quack: Aug 24, 2004; High on Shatner's Bassoon

Primary school update from the other half: the entire school staff were in this morning since as of Friday afternoon, they had absolutely no idea how many kids they were expecting today. Based on the very broad definition of key worker, it could have been anything up to 75 (they normally have ~200).

In the end, just over 30 have turned up today and have been separated off into groups of 5 or 6 to ensure social distancing as far as possible. However, they've already had to isolate two with a cough who have subsequently been sent home. Quite why you'd think it appropriate to send your kid with symptoms to a school full of other kids of the country's most key workers is beyond me, but there we go.

It's looking like they will try to implement some sort of shift system so not all teachers are in all of the time, but at the moment they're still operating largely autonomously as the central advice is limited at best.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:35

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

blunt posted:

If you're feeling especially generous they could put their gear in your boot

How many peppers do I get for that?

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:37

Lungboy: Aug 23, 2002; NEED SQUAT FORM HELP

My daughter's school would only accept children if both/the only parent were health workers, there was too much demand for places.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:38

DesperateDan: Dec 10, 2005; Where's my cow?

Is that my cow?

No it isn't, but it still tramples my bloody lavender.

I just watched a pair of great tits work over some real fat balls

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lBdTmRXF-4

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:39

communism bitch: Apr 24, 2009

I just got an email at work asking if I'm going to the scheduled first aid training on Friday, which is apparently still going ahead. Bunch of people from different departments packed into a small conference room for an entire day, practicing recovery positions and bandaging on each other. loving state of these useless wankers.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:41

Comrade Fakename: Feb 13, 2012

Love that the entire press has swallowed the line of the government shifting blame on their handling of this event to the public as a whole. "Ooh, we were being nice and not putting you on lockdown, but since you, the public, are being naughty, it's your fault we have to carry out these draconian measures, and we only didn't do them weeks ago because we trusted you so much."

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:41

Angrymog: Jan 30, 2012; Really Madcats

NotJustANumber99 posted:

At DEFRA they've all cycled/walked in to collect their monitors to carry home so now want a lift home. Should I do that? It's not my problem. But we're supposed to help each other? I would obviously carry a printer but I dunno about a monitor during a pandemic.

Offer to drop off the kit at their places, but they have to make their own way home?

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:45

Sad Panda: Sep 22, 2004; I'm a Sad Panda.

Loonytoad Quack posted:

Primary school update from the other half: the entire school staff were in this morning since as of Friday afternoon, they had absolutely no idea how many kids they were expecting today. Based on the very broad definition of key worker, it could have been anything up to 75 (they normally have ~200).

In the end, just over 30 have turned up today and have been separated off into groups of 5 or 6 to ensure social distancing as far as possible. However, they've already had to isolate two with a cough who have subsequently been sent home. Quite why you'd think it appropriate to send your kid with symptoms to a school full of other kids of the country's most key workers is beyond me, but there we go.

It's looking like they will try to implement some sort of shift system so not all teachers are in all of the time, but at the moment they're still operating largely autonomously as the central advice is limited at best.

My high school has about 1200. Expected 150ish. 40 turned up. We are going to have to go in once a fortnight to support.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:46

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

There are grave consequences if you don't listen to us on this.

Please ignore the last three years we have spent saying that britain is immune from consequences.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:46

Sloth Life: Nov 15, 2014; Built for comfort and speed!; Fallen Rib

Work is putting on free food, 3 meals a day for us gormless underlings who didn't rate a home laptop (bees 1, 2 and 3)

On the one hand, awesome, free food! On the other, it probably costs more overall than giving us fuckin laptops.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:46

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Sloth Life posted:

On the one hand, awesome, free food! On the other, it probably costs more overall than giving us fuckin laptops.

The main problem is that there are no laptops to be had, lead time is months away - don't forget a) lots of businesses have been panic buying their people laptops and b) China's been shut down for the last little bit.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:49

TACD: Oct 27, 2000

Loonytoad Quack posted:

Primary school update from the other half: the entire school staff were in this morning since as of Friday afternoon, they had absolutely no idea how many kids they were expecting today. Based on the very broad definition of key worker, it could have been anything up to 75 (they normally have ~200).

In the end, just over 30 have turned up today and have been separated off into groups of 5 or 6 to ensure social distancing as far as possible. However, they've already had to isolate two with a cough who have subsequently been sent home. Quite why you'd think it appropriate to send your kid with symptoms to a school full of other kids of the country's most key workers is beyond me, but there we go.

It's looking like they will try to implement some sort of shift system so not all teachers are in all of the time, but at the moment they're still operating largely autonomously as the central advice is limited at best.

I'm still not clear on what full lockdown countries like Italy are doing regarding doctors' kids? If I'm a single parent with a possibly sickly child and also a health worker at a key hospital, what should I be doing? I don't think the government's approach to this is good but it's not obvious to me what the best solution is either.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:50

peanut-: Feb 17, 2004; Fun Shoe

I probably shouldn't post this but lol

https://twitter.com/IsabelOakeshott/status/1241790664163110914

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:55

njsykora: Jan 23, 2012; Robots confuse squirrels.

TACD posted:

I'm still not clear on what full lockdown countries like Italy are doing regarding doctors' kids? If I'm a single parent with a possibly sickly child and also a health worker at a key hospital, what should I be doing? I don't think the government's approach to this is good but it's not obvious to me what the best solution is either.

I think in France at least schools have remained open as effective daycare centers for children of essential workers.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 12:57

Failed Imagineer: Sep 22, 2018

Guavanaut posted:

That sounds dangerously close to the sodomy he so opposes.

1 Guy 1 Cob

# ? Mar 23, 2020 13:02

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

josh04 posted:

Gah, I was hoping to get to Waitrose by 10 today but I've a queue of wfh meetings so I'm not going to get there till 11:30 and it's going to be a milk-less wasteland.

Just went to my Waitrose (3 mins walk from home) and Home Bargains (1 min walk from home). Still no bog roll. That's over a week now with no bog roll in either store.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 13:05

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

Greece have locked down hard. There are 8 legitimate reasons to be out and you need to get a chitty before you do.

quote:

Effective from Monday, people venturing out of their homes to head to or return form work will have to carry a completed form detailing their residence, work address and working hours or otherwise face a �150 fine if stopped by the police.

All other allowed reasons to be on the streets - to visit a pharmacy, doctor, bank, food store or supermarket as well as to walk a pet and for physical exercise - will require a completed form or notifying the civil protection ministry via text messaging and mentioning the reason one has to be outside.

"We do not circulate outside for no reason. We stay at home," crisis management minister Nikos Hardalias told reporters.

https://www.straitstimes.com/world/europe/greece-imposes-lockdown-after-coronavirus-infections-jump

# ? Mar 23, 2020 13:11

Total Meatlove: Jan 28, 2007; Rangers died, shoujo Hitler cried ;_;

Suspending the congestion charge when there�s no real lockdown in place is going to lead to an influx of people travelling in from the Home Counties isn�t it

# ? Mar 23, 2020 13:12

Flayer: Sep 13, 2003; by Fluffdaddy; Buglord

Total Meatlove posted:

Suspending the congestion charge when there�s no real lockdown in place is going to lead to an influx of people travelling in from the Home Counties isn�t it

Tories quickly learning Economics 101

# ? Mar 23, 2020 13:13

kecske: Feb 28, 2011; it's round, like always

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

Just went to my Waitrose (3 mins walk from home) and Home Bargains (1 min walk from home). Still no bog roll. That's over a week now with no bog roll in either store.

The CoOp near me had a restock and there were cars of people outside doing the 'go in one at a time for 2 packs each' routine. You'd think people would poo poo less not more in times of crisis.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 13:13

Red Oktober: May 24, 2006; wiggly eyes!

Total Meatlove posted:

Suspending the congestion charge when there�s no real lockdown in place is going to lead to an influx of people travelling in from the Home Counties isn�t it

I wouldn't think so - what would people be coming in for? Everything's shut.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 13:14

Biggus Dickus: May 18, 2005; Roadies know where to focus the spotlight.

AceClown posted:

UKMTSF update:

[b]The UKMT Solidarity Fund is now live!

Any idea when the proper bank account will be set up? I want to set up a standing order and forget about it.
(I'm sure I'm not the only one)

# ? Mar 23, 2020 13:14

peanut-: Feb 17, 2004; Fun Shoe

https://twitter.com/bbclaurak/status/1242011054986723328

Why is this whole thing still being run as if it's a cabinet reshuffle or something? Anonymous briefings and unnamed sources leaking stories to Laura K to test the waters and see if the public like it.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 13:19

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Total Meatlove posted:

Suspending the congestion charge when there�s no real lockdown in place is going to lead to an influx of people travelling in from the Home Counties isn�t it

Why are they suspending it? Surely they should be tightening it?

# ? Mar 23, 2020 13:20

communism bitch: Apr 24, 2009

Development!
Last Thursday one of my staff came in and was like "not sure I should be here - I have bad asthma and think I'm part of the at risk population. " I can't make that decision as I'm only middle management, so I mosey over to HR and repeat this, to which the HR lady responds (with a literal sneer) "well I've got asthma too and I'm still here". Fine, whatever.

20 mins ago the phone rings, it's the castle manager, who tells me that that colleague is showing all the symptoms and now my entire department has to go home and self isolate. So now I'm in my flat getting ready for some serious loving Skyrim.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 13:20

NotJustANumber99: Feb 15, 2012; somehow that last av was even worse than your posting

It doesn't seem such a huge decision when every other country in the world has already done it. It seems kind of huger not to.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 13:21

deletebeepbeepbeep: Nov 12, 2008

feedmegin posted:

The main problem is that there are no laptops to be had, lead time is months away - don't forget a) lots of businesses have been panic buying their people laptops and b) China's been shut down for the last little bit.

My work paid cash for peoples old laptops when they couldn't get any from normal suppliers.

# ? Mar 23, 2020 13:21

sassassin: Apr 3, 2010; by Azathoth

communism bitch posted:

Development!
Last Thursday one of my staff came in and was like "not sure I should be here - I have bad asthma and think I'm part of the at risk population. " I can't make that decision as I'm only middle management, so I mosey over to HR and repeat this, to which the HR lady responds (with a literal sneer) "well I've got asthma too and I'm still here". Fine, whatever.

20 mins ago the phone rings, it's the castle manager, who tells me that that colleague is showing all the symptoms and now my entire department has to go home and self isolate. So now I'm in my flat getting ready for some serious loving Skyrim.

lol

# ? Mar 23, 2020 13:22

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 26, 2024 05:55

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Failed Imagineer posted:

1 Guy 1 Cob

"its not sin!! its not sin!!", i continue to insist as i slowly squat down onto a corn cob

# ? Mar 23, 2020 13:22

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT March 2020 - Bojo got the Covo

«‹›281 »