[COVID-19 April] I've licked things I might not ordinarily have licked

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [COVID-19 April] I've licked things I might not ordinarily have licked

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Scrub-Niggurath: Nov 27, 2007

mobby_6kl posted:

And how do those revolutions turn out?

France seems ok and they�ve had like 10

# ? Apr 1, 2020 13:38

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 06:28

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

gradenko_2000 posted:

Cuba and Vietnam have had some of the best responses to COVID-19, and Cuba specifically has some of the best healthcare available

Seriously, what kind of dumbass would rather be in psycho nation US rather than Cuba right now

# ? Apr 1, 2020 13:39

Lawman 0: Aug 17, 2010

https://twitter.com/PhilipRucker/status/1245329763440435201
cuck

# ? Apr 1, 2020 13:39

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

OhFunny posted:

https://twitter.com/BNODesk/status/1245284292286169088?s=19

Deaths in Spain have crossed 9,000.

Edit: wrong tweet

The US is now 1/3 of all new cases

# ? Apr 1, 2020 13:39

Gripweed: Nov 8, 2018; Can't post for 22 hours!

Hell yeah blue Florida

https://twitter.com/pamica/status/1245062426678026242?s=20

Not that the election will actually happen, but still

# ? Apr 1, 2020 13:39

Gripweed: Nov 8, 2018; Can't post for 22 hours!

Iron Crowned posted:

The US is now 1/3 of all new cases

Yeah but we're also like almost 1/3 of the world population so that's kinda meaningless

# ? Apr 1, 2020 13:40

Doc Fission: Sep 11, 2011

as someone who grew up in Florida, RIP in hell Florida

# ? Apr 1, 2020 13:41

Mr Hootington: Jul 24, 2008; I'M HAVING A HOOT EATING CORNETTE THE LONG WAY

Gripweed posted:

Hell yeah blue Florida

https://twitter.com/pamica/status/1245062426678026242?s=20

Not that the election will actually happen, but still

I didnt want the fox news olds I knew to die

# ? Apr 1, 2020 13:44

Dancer: May 23, 2011

facetoucher cat posted:

https://twitter.com/bestofnextdoor/status/1245171779489931265

The answer is no.

https://www.globaltimes.cn/content/1180514.shtml

... provided pants are being worn.

# ? Apr 1, 2020 13:45

Foxrunsecurity: Aug 10, 2008

Drinkfist posted:

Unemployed Safe Cracker Update:

So my boss found a way to pick up my work vehicle a week after I was fired. My phone is also being recalled and he told me late last night that my final paycheck is going to be late because of internet issues. I don't believe him. All nineteen safe crackers are out of a job and will not be getting a last stand paycheck to cover rent. Most of us only had the work vehicle and phone for personal use as well as work so we are falling right though every safety net we could have had. We lost contact with a few of us we were trying to talk out of doing dumb poo poo involving safes. One of us tried to call two suicide hotlines and got a busy signal and gave up. I have been in Iraq on some very lovely days and never lacked the gallows humor to keep everyone going but this poo poo is so loving dark I lack the humor to even say how hosed we all are.

I managed to file for Unemployment in MD but because I moved here from Wisconsin last July they didn't have my previous salary in three of four quarters and sent me a letter saying I am entitled to ZERO dollars in unemployment. I can't even get past the busy signal to get though to the UI office to explain and hope they manage to contact Wisconsin in this madness in some kind of reasonable time. I filed my taxes last week and added a direct deposit for my refund but all this money and help I feel will arrive long after I end up on the street with all my safe cracking tools and really hoping future me doesn't decide to do something dumber than how this poo poo country handles this.

So at this point I can't do fuckall and job hunting during this is right on the line of impossible and dangerous. Ill be here in my apartment burning though my food stock waiting for either this to end and I can get a job or the police knocking on my door to walk my rear end out to the street. My Google Fi phone came in yesterday so I can still talk to some people before I fail to pay that bill. I highly doubt my story is exclusive to anyone for this month but I have the terrible twist of being a safe cracker veteran so the mental aspect has the true meaning of comedy to it.

But I saw a happy picture of a dog today and Jitters moves into my Animal Crossing town so it's not all bad.

Anyone know of a federal job in DC I should try applying for with US Army Infantryman, Alarm Tech, Safe Cracking and Repair, One eye and no car on a resume I have yet to even try to type up.

So it's been a while since I was in the industry but iirc if you have Kaba Mas X09/X10 experience the GSA would fall all over themselves to get you since they have a billion of the things and they break constantly. Regular locksmiths are also worth a try they like getting a safe guy fairly often though I imagine they're not doing great at the moment either.

# ? Apr 1, 2020 13:45

Raiad: Feb 1, 2005; Without the law, there wouldn't be lawyers.

Mr. Lobe posted:

Seriously, what kind of dumbass would rather be in psycho nation US rather than Cuba right now

Well, at least in the US I get to choose* which overcrowded hospital I die in

*offer subject to insurance networks and not valid if unconscious at the time of retrieval by ambulance

# ? Apr 1, 2020 13:48

Woofer: Mar 2, 2020

Raiad posted:

Well, at least in the US I get to choose* which overcrowded hospital I die in

*offer subject to insurance networks and not valid if unconscious at the time of retrieval by ambulance

A friend of mine had a seizure, fell on the metro rail and got hit by a goddamn metro train and they took her out of network and stuck her with over $10k in hospital bills.

When she came to she was a bloody mess with her face all mangled and she screamed at them to not take her to the hospital.

American healthcare y�all

# ? Apr 1, 2020 13:51

blandular: Aug 22, 2004

Whitlam posted:

I mean, technically yes, but the limits don't apply in every store (it's a voluntary thing), and beer, cider and pre-mixed spirits will be "limited" to two cases (case = 24 bottles), and wine to 12 bottles per customer. If you need more than that per day, you have bigger problems than COVID-19.

i can't imagine trying to manage an addiction right now. that would be so stressful (like more so than it baseline is). plus the stress of not wanting to go into withdrawals to avoid the hospital. woof

# ? Apr 1, 2020 13:54

upgunned shitpost: Jan 21, 2015

Raiad posted:

Well, at least in the US I get to choose* which overcrowded hospital I die in

*offer subject to insurance networks and not valid if unconscious at the time of retrieval by ambulance

57 brands of n95 masks!

*all currently sold out

# ? Apr 1, 2020 13:54

FAUXTON: Jun 2, 2005; spero che tu stia bene

Doc Fission posted:

as someone who grew up in Florida, RIP in hell Florida

# ? Apr 1, 2020 13:55

Charlz Guybon: Nov 16, 2010

Woofer posted:

A friend of mine had a seizure, fell on the metro rail and got hit by a goddamn metro train and they took her out of network and stuck her with over $10k in hospital bills.

When she came to she was a bloody mess with her face all mangled and she screamed at them to not take her to the hospital.

American healthcare y�all

How the hell did she survive that.

# ? Apr 1, 2020 13:56

mastershakeman: Oct 28, 2008; by vyelkin

Drinkfist posted:

Unemployed Safe Cracker Update:

So my boss found a way to pick up my work vehicle a week after I was fired. My phone is also being recalled and he told me late last night that my final paycheck is going to be late because of internet issues. I don't believe him. All nineteen safe crackers are out of a job and will not be getting a last stand paycheck to cover rent. Most of us only had the work vehicle and phone for personal use as well as work so we are falling right though every safety net we could have had. We lost contact with a few of us we were trying to talk out of doing dumb poo poo involving safes. One of us tried to call two suicide hotlines and got a busy signal and gave up. I have been in Iraq on some very lovely days and never lacked the gallows humor to keep everyone going but this poo poo is so loving dark I lack the humor to even say how hosed we all are.

I managed to file for Unemployment in MD but because I moved here from Wisconsin last July they didn't have my previous salary in three of four quarters and sent me a letter saying I am entitled to ZERO dollars in unemployment. I can't even get past the busy signal to get though to the UI office to explain and hope they manage to contact Wisconsin in this madness in some kind of reasonable time. I filed my taxes last week and added a direct deposit for my refund but all this money and help I feel will arrive long after I end up on the street with all my safe cracking tools and really hoping future me doesn't decide to do something dumber than how this poo poo country handles this.

So at this point I can't do fuckall and job hunting during this is right on the line of impossible and dangerous. Ill be here in my apartment burning though my food stock waiting for either this to end and I can get a job or the police knocking on my door to walk my rear end out to the street. My Google Fi phone came in yesterday so I can still talk to some people before I fail to pay that bill. I highly doubt my story is exclusive to anyone for this month but I have the terrible twist of being a safe cracker veteran so the mental aspect has the true meaning of comedy to it.

But I saw a happy picture of a dog today and Jitters moves into my Animal Crossing town so it's not all bad.

Anyone know of a federal job in DC I should try applying for with US Army Infantryman, Alarm Tech, Safe Cracking and Repair, One eye and no car on a resume I have yet to even try to type up.

one of the absolutely horrible things about the unemployment office is if the data isn't automatically in their database they can't comprehend how it could exist. in the past i've had issues working a federal job (2010 census) which took over 6 months to get data into the state system, and I can't imagine how bad it is with out of state work, especially now that state government has effectively collapsed . nearly every state/local law about wages or sick time or whatever just cannot contemplate anyone working jobs that aren't consistent ones with the same employer for a long time, and they've never adapted in the last century and millions are going to be hosed because of it

speaking of state govt, I'm still waiting on a decision on my kid's health care that was routed to the state from the PPACA site in december. It's never going to happen, the department in charge of the decision appears to be closed, and there's nothing I can do besides lie on the ppaca site and say i got a denial from the state and can now get coverage normally for the kiddo.

# ? Apr 1, 2020 13:57

I AM GRANDO: Aug 20, 2006

magiccarpet posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzhPzHhnFl0

Link the real one:

https://jalopnik.com/this-is-the-video-cnn-will-play-when-the-world-ends-1677511538

# ? Apr 1, 2020 13:57

LimburgLimbo: Feb 10, 2008

Raiad posted:

Well, at least in the US I get to choose* which overcrowded hospital I die in

*offer subject to insurance networks and not valid if unconscious at the time of retrieval by ambulance

Are there nationalized health care schemes that dictate what hospital you have to go to even

# ? Apr 1, 2020 13:58

Woofer: Mar 2, 2020

Charlz Guybon posted:

How the hell did she survive that.

the train was slowing down because it was pulling into the stop. she ate it with her face but luckily it knocked her into a small crawl space next to the track, out of the way of anything that could�ve ran her over.

tore her bottom lip off, cut her eyelid in half, broke her teeth, and gave her a six inch laceration on her cheek.

https://www.wusa9.com/article/traffic/mission-metro/woman-hit-by-metro-train-court-house-station/65-b371878f-bd19-4fd3-8546-dc3097e6fb59

all things considered she shouldn�t be alive right now.

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:04

Egg Moron: Jul 21, 2003; the dreams of the delighting void

Doc Fission posted:

as someone who grew up in Florida, RIP in hell Florida

drat right

I grew up in unincorporated Eastern Orange country in the late 80s and early 90s and it was a beautiful swampy wilderness with orange groves

my brother still lives down there and now it is paved solid from cocoa beach to tampa

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:07

Venom Snake: Feb 19, 2014; by Nyc_Tattoo

Over Easy posted:

drat right

I grew up in unincorporated Eastern Orange country in the late 80s and early 90s and it was a beautiful swampy wilderness with orange groves

my brother still lives down there and now it is paved solid from cocoa beach to tampa

I live in orlando by UCF, going out to the store yesterday was so surreal because due to there being -90% less cars everything looks like a literal asphalt and concrete desert

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:09

triple sulk: Sep 17, 2014

good morning

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:09

dex_sda: Oct 11, 2012

triple sulk posted:

good morning

ihey

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:10

Happy Noodle Boy: Jul 3, 2002

triple sulk posted:

good morning

mornings aren't real

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:10

Woofer: Mar 2, 2020

Venom Snake posted:

I live in orlando by UCF, going out to the store yesterday was so surreal because due to there being -90% less cars everything looks like a literal asphalt and concrete desert

I grew up in Tampa. moved away when I was 14 and wanted to move back.

I do not live in Florida now that I�m an adult and have a choice in the matter.

Orlando is the definition of urban sprawl. it�s stupid and ridiculous how spread out it all is.

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:11

But Rocks Hurt Head: Jun 30, 2003; by Hand Knit; Pillbug

https://twitter.com/nyt_diff/status/1245335222008401923?s=20

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:11

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

Woofer posted:

A friend of mine had a seizure, fell on the metro rail and got hit by a goddamn metro train and they took her out of network and stuck her with over $10k in hospital bills.

When she came to she was a bloody mess with her face all mangled and she screamed at them to not take her to the hospital.

American healthcare y�all

I think there's some notorious hospital in LA that is in no networks yet has most of the admissions

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:13

Venom Snake: Feb 19, 2014; by Nyc_Tattoo

Woofer posted:

I grew up in Tampa. moved away when I was 14 and wanted to move back.

I do not live in Florida now that I�m an adult and have a choice in the matter.

Orlando is the definition of urban sprawl. it�s stupid and ridiculous how spread out it all is.

I really hope I can move away once I graduate

Iv been extremely worried about my future a lot lately.

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:13

NofrikinfuN: Apr 23, 2009

Lawman 0 posted:

https://twitter.com/PhilipRucker/status/1245329763440435201
cuck

lol remember when he goaded trump into destroying the entire world?

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:14

WorldsStongestNerd: Apr 28, 2010; by Fluffdaddy

Gripweed posted:

Yeah but we're also like almost 1/3 of the world population so that's kinda meaningless

More like 1/21.

We have about a third of a billion with a world pop of 7 billion. The US is a tiny minority population wise.

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:15

Lawman 0: Aug 17, 2010

https://twitter.com/AFP/status/1245337842445881344?s=20

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:15

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

LimburgLimbo posted:

Are there nationalized health care schemes that dictate what hospital you have to go to even

My roommate had surgery last year and there was a hick-up in transition out of the hospital to extended care, and that's when we discovered it's up to the ambulance driver. She had called ahead and the hospital was expecting here, but the ambulance driver flat out refused to take her there. Instead he took her to the shittiest hospital in the region, and kicked off two weeks of hell.

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:18

Lawman 0: Aug 17, 2010

https://twitter.com/tackettdc/status/1245310408564576256?s=20

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:19

Woofer: Mar 2, 2020

Lawman 0 posted:

https://twitter.com/tackettdc/status/1245310408564576256?s=20

wow so the libs have been planning this all along????

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:20

Doc Fission: Sep 11, 2011

I grew up in Miami and love it in a kind of masochistic way, but Florida is and always will be extremely cursed and should be left as an underwater sea attraction when the tides finish rising at last

Also do we have a COVID gang tag

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:20

NofrikinfuN: Apr 23, 2009

Iron Crowned posted:

My roommate had surgery last year and there was a hick-up in transition out of the hospital to extended care, and that's when we discovered it's up to the ambulance driver. She had called ahead and the hospital was expecting here, but the ambulance driver flat out refused to take her there. Instead he took her to the shittiest hospital in the region, and kicked off two weeks of hell.

I imagine the driver gets a bounty for each person he drags to the lovely hospital.

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:20

cliffy: Apr 12, 2002

Rectal Death Adept posted:

According to the guy forcing my workplace to break shelter in place laws to come in to work "Only people who are weak and want to be infected become infected."

report him

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:23

Mr Hootington: Jul 24, 2008; I'M HAVING A HOOT EATING CORNETTE THE LONG WAY

Everything is stupid

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:24

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 06:28

Gum: Mar 9, 2008; _{oho, a rapist

time to try this puppy out}

Lawman 0 posted:

https://twitter.com/tackettdc/status/1245310408564576256?s=20

Coronavirus determined to strike in US

# ? Apr 1, 2020 14:25

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [COVID-19 April] I've licked things I might not ordinarily have licked

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