[COVID-19 April] I've licked things I might not ordinarily have licked

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [COVID-19 April] I've licked things I might not ordinarily have licked

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Jon Pod Van Damm: Apr 6, 2009; THE POSSESSION OF WEALTH IS IN AND OF ITSELF A SIGN OF POOR VIRTUE. AS SUCH:
1 NEVER TRUST ANY RICH PERSON.
2 NEVER HIRE ANY RICH PERSON.
BY RULE 1, IT IS APPROPRIATE TO PRESUME THAT ALL DEGREES AND CREDENTIALS HELD BY A WEALTHY PERSON ARE FRAUDULENT. THIS JUSTIFIES RULE 2--RULE 1 NEEDS NO JUSTIFIC

An animated graph showing the cum number of posts in the corona thread vs cum worldwide deaths.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:07

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 05:17

Zyme: Aug 15, 2000

SKULL.GIF posted:

https://twitter.com/AaronBastani/status/1246608935001427968

watching this made me realize that i will never again be able to watch a video on the internet without anticipating the appropriately timed cut to pallbearers dancing while carrying a casket

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:09

MysteriousStranger: Mar 3, 2016; My "vacation" is a euphemism for war tourism in Ukraine for some "bloody work" to escape my boring techie job and family.

Ask me about my warcrimes.

GABA ghoul posted:

I've been thinking about any way out of this nightmare that's not gonna take years and the only solution I can think of is a Morlock/Eloi type situation. Once reliable antibody tests become available we can test for immunity and allow the immune people to return to regular life. They can then keep the country running and fed and provide for all the Morlock people stuck in their homes.

Hell, with the huge number of infected I have a a chance of being immune already. It's a small hope, but I don't really see any other light at the end of the tunnel.

that's not what will happen though. the "infected" will just translate into a permanent forced labor force while all the rich live in gilded private enclaves with their assets growing and the non rich live on barely live able UBI collected for the infected labor force.

there's another side thing happening here that's not really talked about. if you're "shelter in place" and middle class or better you have exercise equipment at home, access to good delivery food, can pay out for private classes online for you and your kids, and it's a chance for real self improvement. if you're poor or working class that's often not the case, so all you can do is drink yourself selling get high and put on pounds. The quality of life gap between groups is probably going to expand massively.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:10

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

y�all weird. it�s a hard pap like Pap smear then awww. peepaw is like some Texas poo poo or something.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:10

Utz: Aug 1, 2008; by vyelkin

meemaw, peepaw, baby's got the diarrh-yehaw

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:10

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

From the New York Times article on using google search as an epdiemiological tool:

quote:

Consider Ecuador. The official data says that while Ecuador has among the highest rates of Covid-19 cases per capita in South America, it has a lower case rate than the United States, Canada, Australia, Iran and most of Europe.

At the same time, Ecuadorians are now making more searches related to loss of smell than any other country in the world, once you adjust for total Google searches. Searches for “no puedo oder” (“I can’t smell”) are some 10 times higher per Google search in Ecuador than they are in Spain, even though Ecuador officially reports more than ten times fewer Covid-19 cases per capita than Spain does. Ecuadorians are also right near the top in searches for fever, chills and diarrhea.

Thats not good.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:11

Bert Roberge: Nov 28, 2003

https://twitter.com/crampell/status/1246832090794151936

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:11

Throatwarbler: Nov 17, 2008; by vyelkin

On a lighter note

https://www.tampabay.com/special-reports/2020/04/04/in-the-villages-americas-biggest-retirement-oasis-the-dangers-of-coronavirus-stack-up/

quote:

The analysis is based on estimates that 20 to 60 percent of the country could become infected. It assumes 29 percent of people over 65 may have to go to the hospital. Combining those estimates with census data, as few as 4,000 people in the Villages might need hospital beds, or as many as 12,000.

According to new state data, as of Friday, the Villages Hospital had 152 staffed beds, 32 of which were available. UF Health Leesburg Hospital, another nearby hospital Villagers use, had 205 beds, with 47 available.

Faust gave a higher number of staffed beds and said hospitals can increase their capacity if necessary. The UF hospitals already have lowered their patient volumes by a third, he said.

Even when the Harvard researchers assumed all the hospitals in the area would be able to cut their occupancy in half to care for more coronavirus patients, they still found both regions might need more beds if the outbreak unfolds quickly.

All three counties that surround the Villages have unusually few doctors, according to a community-needs assessment prepared by a local nonprofit. In Sumter County, where most of the Villages is located, the number of physicians per resident was 155 percent below the state average during the 2017-2018 fiscal year, the report said.

And if the Villages does become a hot-zone for coronavirus cases, the community will be counting on a hospital that some residents have said can�t be relied upon for emergency care under normal circumstances.

The Villages Hospital is only one of 228 in the country that the federal Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services has given a one-star quality rating, on a scale of one star to five. Faust said the hospital is decorated for its care in some specialties and noted the rating system is controversial.

The hospital has been criticized for years over long emergency room wait times, with residents complaining on social media and in letters to Villages-News.com.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:13

neutral milf hotel: Oct 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Bert Roberge posted:

https://twitter.com/crampell/status/1246832090794151936

jfc

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:13

Pook Good Mook: Aug 6, 2013; ENFORCE THE UNITED STATES DRESS CODE AT ALL COSTS!

This message paid for by the Men's Wearhouse& Jos A Bank Lobbying Group

I have to reschedule my wedding and we're paralyzed trying to figure out if October 2020 or May 2021 is even close to far enough.

Super first world problem.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:13

Bar Ran Dun: Jan 22, 2006

and Ma�am like, yes mam, also hard, aww. I swear to god none of you have poor family from Appalachia.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:14

neutral milf hotel: Oct 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Pook Good Mook posted:

I have to reschedule my wedding and we're paralyzed trying to figure out if October 2020 or May 2021 is even close to far enough.

Super first world problem.

just elope and save everyone the trouble of catching the virus

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:14

Harry Potter on Ice: Nov 4, 2006; IF IM NOT BITCHING ABOUT HOW SHITTY MY LIFE IS, REPORT ME FOR MY ACCOUNT HAS BEEN HIJACKED

Pook Good Mook posted:

I have to reschedule my wedding and we're paralyzed trying to figure out if October 2020 or May 2021 is even close to far enough.

Super first world problem.

Oct maybeee but itll be back by may so lose lose

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:14

Zyme: Aug 15, 2000

Bert Roberge posted:

https://twitter.com/crampell/status/1246832090794151936

yeesh

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:14

neutral milf hotel: Oct 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

emo Philips is good

https://twitter.com/emophilips/status/1246563766998716416

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:15

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

Pook Good Mook posted:

I have to reschedule my wedding and we're paralyzed trying to figure out if October 2020 or May 2021 is even close to far enough.

Super first world problem.

if May isn't far enough, I don't think your problems are going to be first world problems any more

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:15

Spinz: Jan 7, 2020; I ordered luscious new gemstones from India and made new earrings for my SA mart thread

Remember my earrings and art are much better than my posting

New stuff starts towards end of page 3 of the thread

Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:

https://mobile.twitter.com/adambspencer/status/1246556387481497600

This is Christian Science cult stupidity

WHAT THE gently caress

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:17

fosborb: Dec 15, 2006; Chronic Good Poster

Bert Roberge posted:

https://twitter.com/crampell/status/1246832090794151936

oh good, here comes yet another gold star family for trumo to attack

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:18

Ruggan: Feb 20, 2007; WHAT THAT SMELL LIKE?!

splifyphus posted:

moralizing enjoyment is arguably the most totalitarian form of liberalism. enjoyment is a mechanism, not a moral distinction. anything can be enjoyed and said enjoyment or lack thereof is totally meaningless. what matters is the results of your actions, not whether or not you enjoy them.

if your idea of a better world is 'everybody enjoys the good things the good way like me a good person' then you're already living in it. your (very protestant) mode of enjoyment and the grotesque theological moral hierarchy that comes along with it is spread and enforced by a massive media apparatus, one of the functions of which is precisely to domesticate and homogenize enjoyment. it's never going to get better than this for you.

this is a really dumb post

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:18

Spoondick: Jun 9, 2000

Lawman 0 posted:

https://twitter.com/AFP/status/1246809819476037633?s=20

when persians die for the economy they do it in style

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:18

Pook Good Mook: Aug 6, 2013; ENFORCE THE UNITED STATES DRESS CODE AT ALL COSTS!

This message paid for by the Men's Wearhouse& Jos A Bank Lobbying Group

Harry Potter on Ice posted:

Oct maybeee but itll be back by may so lose lose

Exactly my thought.

We got court married back in Feb so she could get on my insurance anyway, the "wedding" is really for everyone else. We're both in our 30s with no kids and want to have them, I think it might just be October for anyone comfortable coming, anyone who can't make it is invited to come to our house to have a private party.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:19

new kind of cat: May 8, 2007

i spent all of last night tripping balls and visiting a world of splendor and beauty

how�re things on planet earth?

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:19

MorrisBae: Jan 18, 2020; by Athanatos

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

From the New York Times article on using google search as an epdiemiological tool:

Thats not good.

Yeah that's pretty damning

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:19

Good soup!: Nov 2, 2010

PostNouveau posted:

Been growing a beard in quarantine.

When does it stop loving itching? Is it never? Do people with beard have itchy faces all the time?

Nah you just gotta stick with it until it just kinda stops on its own

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:20

FizFashizzle: Mar 30, 2005

my bony fealty posted:

drat, he dead

he's going to golf

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:21

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

Lawman 0 posted:

https://twitter.com/ChadLivengood/status/1246771990670835713?s=20

i cannot believe an actual real human person is named chad livengood

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:22

Squizzle: Apr 24, 2008

ted hitler hunter posted:

An animated graph showing the cum

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:23

Gum: Mar 9, 2008; _{oho, a rapist

time to try this puppy out}

splifyphus posted:

moralizing enjoyment is arguably the most totalitarian form of liberalism.

And there was me thinking it had something to do with the completely unchecked power the rich have over the rest of us

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:23

Actual Satan: Mar 14, 2017; Keep on partying!

You'll NEVER regret it!

Trust ME!

neutral milf hotel posted:

emo Philips is good

https://twitter.com/emophilips/status/1246563766998716416

People, for your own safety I beg you do not worship Jesus Christ. Stay at home and smoke weed.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:23

deadwing: Mar 5, 2007

new kind of cat posted:

i spent all of last night tripping balls and visiting a world of splendor and beauty

how�re things on planet earth?

turmp

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:23

Spoondick: Jun 9, 2000

Squizzle posted:

i cannot believe an actual real human person is named chad livengood

the chad livengood vs the virgin livenbad

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:24

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

Pook Good Mook posted:

Exactly my thought.

We got court married back in Feb so she could get on my insurance anyway, the "wedding" is really for everyone else. We're both in our 30s with no kids and want to have them, I think it might just be October for anyone comfortable coming, anyone who can't make it is invited to come to our house to have a private party.

Adopt

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:24

MorrisBae: Jan 18, 2020; by Athanatos

Interestingly enough, the top searches for "I can't smell" in the last 30 days, sorted by state (conspicuously absent is Washington):

1. New York
2. New Jersey
3. Louisiana
4. Connecticut
5. Indiana
6. Nevada
7. Colorado
8. Michigan
9.Massachusetts
10.Maryland
11. Georgia
12. Illinois
13. Missouri
14. Wisconsin
15. Texas
16. California
17. Virginia
18. Tennessee
19. Arizona
20. Ohio
21. Florida
22. Pennsylvania

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:25

Spoondick: Jun 9, 2000

seems like my fever broke after 3 days but i feel like i got punched in the balls so maybe the virus is just attacking my sack

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:26

DR FRASIER KRANG: Feb 4, 2005; "Are you forgetting that just this afternoon I was punched in the face by a turtle now dead?

MysteriousStranger posted:

there's another side thing happening here that's not really talked about. if you're "shelter in place" and middle class or better you have exercise equipment at home, access to good delivery food, can pay out for private classes online for you and your kids, and it's a chance for real self improvement. if you're poor or working class that's often not the case, so all you can do is drink yourself selling get high and put on pounds. The quality of life gap between groups is probably going to expand massively.

I've been doing both. it owns.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:27

PyPy: Sep 13, 2004; by vyelkin

I bought a book to learn to code Python while in the �tine. I�m going to automate so many mail merges!

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:27

Gum: Mar 9, 2008; _{oho, a rapist

time to try this puppy out}

neutral milf hotel posted:

emo Philips is good

https://twitter.com/emophilips/status/1246563766998716416

Even jesus practiced social distancing

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:28

facetoucher cat: Dec 20, 2013; by sebmojo

Dog Toothbrush posted:

Literally every camper from RV parks to state parks is now forced into dispersed campgrounds, I'm sure it's going to be fun and safe out there

https://www.wsbtv.com/news/local/camping-areas-closed-several-north-georgia-counties-due-coronavirus/CG3GFTNJNVFNHP5RL32N2BITDE/

quote:

GAINESVILLE, Ga. — The Chattahoochee-Oconee National Forests is temporarily shutting down all dispersed camping corridors, day-use areas, trailhead facilities and other recreation sites on the Blue Ridge Ranger District to protect public health and safety.

It's going to be worse

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:28

HugeGrossBurrito: Mar 20, 2018

Atrocious Joe posted:

I want the conservative movement to split between the "China must pay" camp and the "US had an outbreak in November" camp
https://twitter.com/kerpen/status/1246819569802625025?s=20

they are so desperate not to accept reality

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:29

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# ? Jun 1, 2024 05:17

RBC: Nov 23, 2007; IM STILL SPENDING MONEY FROM 1888

is there an adjective for "smug whiteguy forehead"

# ? Apr 5, 2020 17:30

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > [COVID-19 April] I've licked things I might not ordinarily have licked

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