|
you go into a hospital, and this is true, and they tell you you can't go into the cafeteria because its full of vent beds now but heres the truth. wall to wall loving ice cream
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:30
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 6, 2024 02:18 |
|
|
fermun posted:https://twitter.com/sfchronicle/status/1247278897042993153 oh whoops, nope. the lovely rear end mayor lied. https://twitter.com/MattHaneySF/status/1247394765936574464
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:30
|
|
|
this wasn't covid related, now go get your loving shinebox
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:30
|
|
|
Ruggan posted:Gonna be a real loving doozy if I end up being right in principle but wrong in practice lol that paper is absolutely nutso garbage
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:31
|
|
|
Ruggan posted:Gonna be a real loving doozy if I end up being right in principle but wrong in practice What no those are the same thing. That is the nonsense.
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:33
|
|
|
NEW YORK POST Welfare queens are catching COVID so they can get a machine to breath for them. "It's just easier to than doing it myself" says mother of 6.
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:34
|
|
|
has anyone said BoJo's Bizarre Covidventure yet?
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:38
|
|
|
Atrocious Joe posted:I personally can't wait for "Coronavirus isn't real" meme to merge with the sort of legit skepticism of Bill Gates's vaccine plan that I'm seeing in conservative media. It's definitely going to turn into a story about how Bill Gates is the AntiChrist and the vaccine is the Mark of the Beast, which will produce some rad political cartoons at least. Garrison was already there a few days ago so it will definitely make its way around in the next week. It's kind of impressive how unwilling people are to accept there is some real serious poo poo going on and keep trying to invent more drama.
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:38
|
|
|
fosborb posted:your posts aren't that bad It's kind of you to say but you know my words are true.
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:40
|
|
|
Phone posted:has anyone said BoJo's Bizarre Covidventure yet? that's not funny a man is dead! Oh, oh wait I just got it hahahaha
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:40
|
|
|
Phone posted:has anyone said BoJo's Bizarre Covidventure yet? Oh? You're invoking P?
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:41
|
|
|
Not exactly but similar I think. My wife just laughed and fake kazoo'd the music in the Ghanaian funeral memem, when I popped open BBC to see what's going on over there. Phone posted:has anyone said BoJo's Bizarre Covidventure yet?
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:42
|
|
|
Atrocious Joe posted:the new conspiracy is that everyone has the roni so all the regular deaths form heart attacks and strokes are being coded as COVID deaths. The hospitals are doing it to make money what a loving rag lmao
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:44
|
|
|
 sweden doing great, wonder why that border is getting closed
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:44
|
|
|
im bored out of my mind at home so i just ordered a new bass and a bunch of strings to restring and shine up all my guitars
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:44
|
|
|
Just wait until they find out the real truth that covid has been killing people this whole time and it’s actually so called “causes of death” like cancer, heart attack, stroke, organ failure, massive trauma, etc, everything that are Soros funded hoaxes. Humans are actually immortal and covid is a synthetic virus invented to rob us of immortality.
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:45
|
|
|
Atrocious Joe posted:getting detained as a dissident when COG plans are implemented is actually my short term employment plan
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:45
|
|
|
Phone posted:what a loving rag lmao the New York Times article doesn't actually say that it's a doctor basically predicting that people are too scared to go to the hospital and dying at home of heart attacks and other common health issues
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:46
|
|
|
Rauros posted:holy poo poo, johns hopkins arcgis map just jumped 700 deaths to 10,335 total Number go up!
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:48
|
|
|
Knight posted:<holds gun to head> "I'll do it, I'LL DO IT." That Obama rubella copy pasta but its covid
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:48
|
|
|
Lawlicaust posted:Garrison was already there a few days ago so it will definitely make its way around in the next week. It's kind of impressive how unwilling people are to accept there is some real serious poo poo going on and keep trying to invent more drama. live by the grift, die by the grift
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:49
|
|
|
a piano fell on a man and they listed the cause of death as corona. you can't trust dems.
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:49
|
|
|
Atrocious Joe posted:the New York Times article doesn't actually say that it's 2am and i'm operating on about 7 hours of sleep across the last 50 hours. my b
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:50
|
|
|
I’m post-covid
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:50
|
|
|
wonder why "eaten by bear" deaths are suddenly down?? yep. they're calling them all covid deaths now, even if the bears don't even have it.
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:50
|
|
|
however, deaths from corvids are way up. experts believe this to be a clerical error.
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:52
|
|
|
Phone posted:it's 2am and i'm operating on about 7 hours of sleep across the last 50 hours. my b you've got good instincts though. I hate myself for having defended the NYT now
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:52
|
|
|
anyone else notice shark attacks have disappeared from the news? i can see what's going on
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:52
|
|
|
I know he's bad, but I love the way he writes.  https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-and-his-media-toadies-love-every-minute-of-this-crisis?source=twitter&via=desktop quote:Like some defective and malevolent artificial intelligence that reflexively fires off nuclear missiles long after the world is a blasted radioactive wasteland populated by tribes of cannibal mutants and murderous scavengers, the Trump media machine relentlessly continues its bizarre and destructive propaganda war against America.
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:52
|
|
|
Atrocious Joe posted:the New York Times article doesn't actually say that how is that not business as usual in america though
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:53
|
|
|
Unhealthy old boomer goes to doctor, gets pumped with massive shot of socialized medicine doesn't feel good and changes - COVID-19. Many such cases!
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:55
|
|
|
https://www.cnn.com/2020/04/06/business/coronavirus-grocers-one-way-aisles/index.html On Thursday when I went grocery shopping, I kept getting boxed in by people who turned their cart into the aisle at both ends after I'd entered it. That was the last time I'm going grocery shopping for two months, hopefully. This sounds like a good measure, if they really have the tech for it
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:55
|
|
|
Arsenic Lupin posted:My husband came through his laparoscopic appendectomy great, and will be sleeping at home in his own bed tonight. YAAAAY! 
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:56
|
|
|
Jonny 290 posted:im bored out of my mind at home so i just ordered a new bass and a bunch of strings to restring and shine up all my guitars i'm trying to learn this,the hard parts of this are a decent bit harder than anything I've played in the few years I've done guitar so far https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rstQ19BLH4
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:56
|
|
|
Atrocious Joe posted:I personally can't wait for "Coronavirus isn't real" meme to merge with the sort of legit skepticism of Bill Gates's vaccine plan that I'm seeing in conservative media. It's definitely going to turn into a story about how Bill Gates is the AntiChrist and the vaccine is the Mark of the Beast, which will produce some rad political cartoons at least. All capitalists work for Satan, so it's a two-fer.
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:58
|
|
|
Atrocious Joe posted:you've got good instincts though. it really doesn't help that the first 3 grafs are just poorly written since it's trying to extract data from anecdote, and it set off my "this is some don draper bullshit" alarm almost immediately
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 06:58
|
|
|
I wake up. As a temporarily embarrassed millionaire, I always check on the status of Number to start my day. Damnit. My 5 shares of Boeing have lost value again. It's this drat Chinese Virus Democrat Hoax. I check the news. The Fake News Liberal Media claims that the Chinese Virus is spreading in my county and overwhelming hospitals. Fools. With my 1 semester of AMERICAN Economics under my belt, I see through the lies easily. Even if this "Virus" was real, it's clear to me that people were dying WITH the virus, and not BECAUSE of the virus. This Chinese Hoax was obviously designed to destroy our economy and further the Communist Liberal Agenda. After I complete my daily ritual of prostrating myself before one of my many TRUMP posters, I put on my MAGA hat and head to my job as a McDonalds manager. My employees have fallen for the artificial Hysteria and wear masks. I, as one of the enlightened among the sheep, haven't worn a mask since the Hoax started. As I'm lecturing one of my Chinese employees, hiding my disdain for her part in this attack on our Great Country, I start to cough. I take my temperature when I get home, and find out that I'm running a mild fever. As a Strong 53 year old man, I know a flu when I see one. Unlike most of the sissies in this country, I don't let this stop me from going to my highly skilled job. Over the next few days, it becomes harder to breathe. I stop going to work. As I sit panting on my sofa, I reflect on how unfortunate it is to have Asthma for the first time in my life. Coming to a stunning realization, I realize the Deep State might have infected everyone with the harmless Chinese Virus, and if I were to die the Fake News Liberal Media would use my death for their filthy lies. Having memorized every TRUMP speech, I immediately remember the cure: hydroxychloroquine. Luckily I have a bottle I bought for the low price of $200 last month. I take 10 pills, not reading the instructions because TRUMP said it couldn't hurt. 15 minutes later my chest starts hurting. poo poo, I must be having a heart attack! I didn't know I had a heart condition as well! I realize I cured myself just in time, and now the Fake News Liberal Media can't use my death in their filthy Chinese propaganda. I fall to the ground. Tears in my eyes, I use my last breath to whisper "The cure can't be worse than the disease..." I poo poo myself and die.
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 07:00
|
|
|
(English translation below the story) 15 Marzo, 2020 Da qualche parte in Italia "Cazzo! Virus di merda! Per colpa di questo fottuto virus non posso più invitare la mia ragazza a casa e farmi scorreggiare in faccia da lei! Dovrò accontentarmi dei porno per il momento!", disse Salvatore tra sé e sé. A causa del coronavirus, l'intera Italia è in quarantena e nessuno può uscire dalla propria casa. Questo significa che Salvatore non può invitare la propria ragazza a casa sua e farsi scorreggiare in faccia da lei come sempre fanno. "Porca puttana... ho già il naso il astinenza!", disse Salvatore tra sé e sé, piangendo disperato. Salvatore inviò un messaggio vocale a Sara, la sua ragazza. "Mi manchi così tanto", disse Salvatore tramite messaggio vocale, piangendo. Dopo neanche due minuti, Sara rispose. "NOT STONKS!", rispose Sara, triste. Il coronavirus potrà vietare i baci, gli abbracci, e anche l'amore, ma non potrà vietare gli audio con le scorregge. [Nuovo audio da Sara] *ppprrrbbbttt* "Potente cazzo!", disse Salvatore, piacevolmente colpito dalla potenza sonora del peto di Sara. "Questa era davvero puzzolente! Peccato che non sei qui a poterla annusare!", disse Sara tramite messaggio vocale. Questa frase fece piangere Salvatore ancor più. "Voglio annusare tutti i tuoi gas!!!", disse Salvatore tramite messaggio vocale, piangendo e sentendosi miserabile. Salvatore aveva davvero tanta voglia di bestemmiare contro tutti i santi del calendario, quindi fece una veloce ricerca su SkunkSkunkGo e iniziò a imprecare in modo talmente violento che Satana in confronto è un principiante. Una volta che Salvatore finì di insultare i santi e divinità di varie religioni, decise di bere un po' di succo di melagrana, perché in effetti arrabbiarsi fa venire sete. Salvatore e Sara chattarono per un bel po', ma a Salvatore mancava quell'aspro odore proveniente dalle flatulenze di Sara, e come un cocainomane in astinenza, Salvatore soffriva mentalmente e fisicamente. "Ma che cazzo mi sta succedendo? Perché desidero così tanto annusare i gas di Sara? Dovrei amare lei, non i suoi peti! Sono un mostro!", pensò Salvatore, ancora più triste. "Sara, io amo te, non le tue scorregge! Cioé, sì, amo anche quelle, ma amo più te che loro!", disse Salvatore, sentendosi in colpa. "E che cazzo sei diventato? Un poeta? *ride*", rispose Sara. Salvatore si rese conto di aver preso la cosa troppo seriamente, e rise anche lui. Quando finirà questa pandemia? La gente è stanca di stare chiusa in casa, ma non c'è altra scelta per il momento. --- English: fart fetish in the age of coronavirus March 15, 2020 Somewhere in Italy "gently caress! What a lovely virus! Because of this loving virus I can't invite my girlfriend over at my home and let her fart on my face anymore! I should make do with porn videos at the moment!", said Salvatore, talking to himself. Due to coronavirus, the entire country of Italy is under quarantine and nobody is allowed to leave their house. This means Salvatore can't invite his girlfriend over at his house and let her fart on his face like he used to anymore. "gently caress... my nose is experiencing withdrawal symptoms already!", said Salvatore, crying desperately. Salvatore sent a voice message to Sara, which is his girlfriend. "I miss you so much", said Salvatore through voice message, crying. After less than two minutes, Sara replied. "NOT STONKS!", replied Sara, sad. Coronavirus might result in kisses, hugs, and even love being banned, but it will never be able to prevent fart audios from being sent! [New audio by Sara] *ppprrrbbbttt* "gently caress that was powerful!", said Salvatore, pleasantly impressed by the powerful sound of Sara's fart. "This was really stinky! Shame that you're not here to smell it!", said Sara. That sentence made Salvatore cry harder. "I want to smell all of your gas!!!", said Salvatore, crying and feeling miserable. Salvatore felt a sudden urge to insult all of the saints on the calendar, so he did a quick research on SkunkSkunkGo and started swearing so violently, that Satan pales in comparison. Once Salvatore completed his mission, i.e. insulting various religions' saints and deities, he decided to drink some pomegranate juice, because if you think about it, being angry makes you thirsty. Salvatore and Sara chatted with each other for quite a bit, but Salvatore missed that sour smell coming from Sara's flatulence, and just like a cocaine addict who misses several doses, Salvatore suffered mentally and physically. "What the gently caress is happening to me? Why do I have a burning desire to smell Sara's gas? I should love her, not her farts! I'm a monster!", sadder than before. "Sara... it's you that I love, not your farts! Well, actually, I love your farts, too, it's just... I love you more than your farts!", said Salvatore, feeling ashamed of himself. "What the hell have you become? A poet? *laughs*", replied Sara. Salvatore realized that he was taking the situation far too seriously, and he laughed as well. When will this pandemic end? People are tired of being forced inside their house, but there's no other choice at the moment.
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 07:02
|
|
|
Stefan Prodan posted:i'm trying to learn this,the hard parts of this are a decent bit harder than anything I've played in the few years I've done guitar so far that's beautiful, i love classical here's a good video of an absolute dad dude completely burning Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald to the ground https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDBcF5LrAJI
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 07:04
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 6, 2024 02:18 |
|
|
I should be learning classical gas
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2020 07:06
|
|