HenryJLittlefinger posted:

Why would you do mongo dirty like this?

Slavvy posted:

Why don't we have a jo momma section?

Not enough Joes on the forum?

quote:

Can you say “Rolling cliché”? Choose your image - here are a few from which to pick:

Scene 1. Glistening four year old BMW R1200GS with 1600 miles on the odometer and full knobbies is parked in front of a Starbucks coffee bar. The rider takes his frappuccino iced because his yellow Roadcrafter suit is warmish on this barista stool. He spends a lot of time peering over the cover of his offroad motorcycle magazine to see who has noticed him. Finally a scooter rider comments and he bores them to tears by extolling his bike’s published capabilities while deriding “lesser” models in the lot.

Scene 2. Straight pipe staccato reverberates from a Harley rider gassing his Fatbob past your car window. The colors on his ratty jean vest gleam as he races back to his real estate office to change for a sales meeting. He writes letters to repeal helmet laws each Independence Day as his act of rebellion.

Scene 3. The six-cylinder Goldwing GL1800 with paint-matched trailer gets 2-3 hours of washing, waxing and polishing per week and at least half that much riding time. Wife, husband and gear top 600 lbs. The bike another 900. Together, they outweigh a Miata. He plays his 100-watt sound system in town blaring Abba and Carpenters tunes and sometimes parks in the handicapped stall justifying this to keep his beloved bike safely near the storefront.

Scene 4. An Akrapovic on a KTM 510 helps convert this potent dirt bike to a maniacal, torque monster. A quick dig through the natural area and across the stream is the early morning shortcut to the gravel pit riding area. She can’t help roosting gravel and mud in the streambed and the coffee hour abides the decibels, music to some, but not many.

These are stereotypical scenarios but haven’t we all seen some of them? Have you wondered just what in the world is going through the riders’ minds? Well at least the minds of all of them except for those who resemble our own riding style. Those we kind of know about. Fess up; we are all posers to some degree. Do you recall that wonderful feeling of rolling up to an open air café, the hot bike engine is sort of popping and clunking as it cools down; pulling off your helmet- helmet hair be damned- and the patrons are looking up at you admiringly (?!) and you give them that look that says “Hey, toss me a beer would ya” then you swagger in to get some grub. In your imagination, a fit and well-tanned member of the opposite sex will coyly invite you to the bar stool next to them. There they sit enraptured listening to your tales of riding the 100 miles of deep gravel and river crossings to civilization then carving up the twisty tarmac up to this very eating establishment for a bite. It is a choice moment, akin to easing into a hot tub on a cold night. Unfortunately, this fantasy exists largely in our minds; we all play act a little.

The stereotypical uniforms we wear (leathers, Rally jackets, chaps, dirt bike boots, colors, etc.) and the matching bikes we ride, tend to set some public expectations – not quite rules of engagement - but our accoutrements declare the image we want to project. We are erasing the doubt or uncertainty about what others will say and how we will respond. The script is just clearer that way. Less Game of Thrones and more Everybody loves Raymond. We don’t have to think or create an identity while striking our carefully crafted individualistic pose. Funny contradiction that; using a common and often repeated riding uniform to make a statement about our individuality. Furthermore, there is a beautiful moment of role confusion – what psychologists call cognitive dissonance- when a gnarly rider removes their helmet to reveal a beautiful raven-haired woman, an 80-year old distance rider, or a one-armed biker. Does. . . not. . . compute . . . reset!

There is absolutely no harm in any of these impressions and playing with some images. Sure, it is play-acting, but what we ride and what we wear hurts no one, may provide some protection, brings some fun to our lives, and may demystify our stance to strangers. Our ACTIONS, however, are sometimes not so harmless.

Each of the opening four scenarios had at least one offensive action embedded meaning the clichés crossed the line into public rudeness, partly because the riders were projecting a little too much image. Certainly not all riders stoop to those depths, but too many do. These offensive and destructive actions carry our recreational posing across a line.

Hippocrates was an ancient Greek who might have had something to say about motorcyclist behavior. We often paraphrase his famous Hippocratic Oath of “First, do no harm”. This pithy warning should be one of our litmus tests for riding decorum. As we offend a single non-motorcyclist we taint all other riders. We do harm.

Broad rider guidelines such as “Be safe” and “ATGATT” are there too. Then there are the mostly harmless lies we use to justify our riding choices. I have these mistruths well-practiced. “Honey, I am saving a LOT of money at 55 MPG.” Wrong. My price per mile of riding is substantially higher than my commuter car because of tire wear, farkles, riding gear, premium gas, insurance, and winter storage necessitating a car too. How about this one “Officer, it is simply safer for me to ride slightly above the average traffic speed so I can better control my interactions with cars.” A grain of truth there, however, when the average traffic speed is already 10 mph over the limit it makes for a fast-moving bike. One more – “The $250 ZeigoTech valve guards are a safety issue to protect my cylinders.” Well, given that you could replace either valve cover for about the same price . . .

Why can’t we be honest with ourselves and just say something like “I ride because I love the sensations” or “I take a similar pleasure in farkling my bike as I did building model airplanes as a kid”; maybe this “My motorcycle type, attire, and riding is a little fantasy escape for me from my boring job”. Some might say “I enjoy the sense of belonging and shared discussion topics I find with my Yondabemazuki riding club”. True that and not so different from a wine-tasting club, the remote control airplane society, or a knitting circle really.

Sigh. . . I wonder if straight honest depiction of practical motorcycling would diminish our motorcycling joy to the status of a utilitarian 125 cc central India cargo bike relegated to ferrying water jugs, bok choy and the occasional well-balanced pig. Or does our fantasy, posing, daydreaming, and endless planning of hypothetical trips indicate a life of delusion? A Fifty Shades of Adventure? Maybe, but really now, where is the harm? Just so long as we don’t carry our actions too far beyond our image management. It is easy to harm ourselves and others and when we offend the public.

“Waitress – another frappuccino please – make it a DOUBLE this time, I am feeling kind of wild! Anyone who rides a machine like THAT can handle their caffeine ya’ know!”

Lee

Slavvy posted:

I'm hosed if I'm reading all that

Lee

Jim Silly-Balls posted:

Slim Pickens posted:

Good Stuff!!!


_____________________________

God made man, Samuel Colt made them equal!!

"Beer is proof that god loves us and wants us to be happy" -Ben Franklin

STOMP ON MY FLAG AND I'LL STOMP ON YOUR rear end!!!

Spiffness posted:

Ha ha you hit the nail on the head with that one slim

—hjl

quote:

Electric vehicles are a feel good campaign at best. I am all for that, have at it and do what you want. But let's not pretend that all of these ideas of electric vehicles is any sort of solution. The math simply isn't there. The battery technology isn't there and there is no indication it ever will be. The processes for making and then disposing of the batteries is just bad no matter how you spin it. And it still doesn't address the largest producers of pollution.

You want to paint doubters as some sort of troglodytes hiding in their cave but the reality is that many people are doubters based on facts. I am extremely concerned about pollution. I am worried about Urban sprawl, over population, and environmental destruction as well. But I don't think we can solve anything without being realistic and fully aware of the impacts good, bad, or perceived.

HenryJLittlefinger posted:

quote:

Merging onto I-40 for the drone home after a fun ride, I found myself merging right behind a big semitrailer painted solid ORANGE with a big KTM on the side!

Even though I ride a GSA, I'm well aware of KTM (follow MotoGP & MX racing, and would love to own a 690 Enduro). Kinda cool to see a big KTM hauler. Prolly most folks who passed it thought it was KLM, Royal Dutch Airlines...

--Doc

P.S. Maybe not the correct forum, but I didn't know where else...

quote:

Well, I can see why she's laughing; she ain't set up to ride it, (probably got more sense). Front suspension off a pogo stick, but with less travel, rear suspension looks like an arm off a D6, my favourite Albanian dungcart wheels and tyres, no front mudguard, 2 1/2 rear mudguards with naff-all ground clearance, fugly and unnecessary plumbing. Now some of you are going to say; "but it's a work of ART." Well go look at something functional and beautiful like a pre-war Husqvarna V-twin racer.

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester posted:

Forgot to post the custom bike

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester posted:

Forgot to post the custom bike

HenryJLittlefinger posted:

We are not the advrider until there's a big forum-wide argument where everyone is insulting everyone else and pedantically explaining minutiae without reading any other posts.

Jim Silly-Balls posted:

What’s the ratio of gross scummy posts about the woman vs posts about the bike?

quote:

Don't worry mate. I used to own one of those Enfields.

All that poo poo will vibrate off.

It seemed to have the same effect on young lady's clothing too. Ah, to be young again...

quote:

Some jackass in China eats a raw bat and thousands of people all over the world get sick and die. Meanwhile we have sanctions and a travel ban against Cuba. A country that makes rum and bongo music.

Coydog posted:

In oceans 11 there was a device that fit in a van that sent EMP over a wide area. I don't think it's abnormal to worry about this sort of thing.

I'd be more worried that an early 80s Honda would run at all, EMP or not.


Can anyone confirm my hawk gt would survive an oceans-class event?