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Josherino)
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cool dance moves posted:I hope we dont see you again itt for a good long time!!! Strongly recommend reading AskAManager - https://www.askamanager.org/category/bad-advice
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Apr 21, 2020 20:49
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xcheopis posted:Strongly recommend reading AskAManager - https://www.askamanager.org/category/bad-advice Wonderful, thank you so much!!
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Apr 21, 2020 21:01
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Jolene posted:
I thought I was done with this thread before loving corona. But Australia seems to be doing really well so maybe I'll actually be able to keep my under-construction condo after all. Assuming I don't get the roni of course because I will probably die if I do.
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Apr 21, 2020 23:35
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I am glad for people who are coming back. It's ok and even encouraged to pop in and say "Hey guys doing great" because it lifts everyone up when one of us has a good stretch. We are here for when you need us friendo but never feel bad about just saying hi 
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Apr 22, 2020 04:37
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I haven't posted in here for a while I think but I've been on Cymbalta for two or three weeks and the difference in energy is incalculable. I get more done by noon than I could in an entire day before. My sleep is still bad but my appetite is back and I'm much calmer.
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Apr 22, 2020 05:34
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PsychedelicWarlord posted:I haven't posted in here for a while I think but I've been on Cymbalta for two or three weeks and the difference in energy is incalculable. I get more done by noon than I could in an entire day before. My sleep is still bad but my appetite is back and I'm much calmer. I hear you about sleep. The only loving thing that works for me these days are gabbies and the aftermath of those is like wiring up 10k volts to what little ability I have to regulate my own emotions
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Apr 22, 2020 06:09
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Chokes McGee posted:I hear you about sleep. The only loving thing that works for me these days are gabbies and the aftermath of those is like wiring up 10k volts to what little ability I have to regulate my own emotions My restless leg syndrome has been out of control thanks to decreased activity in quarantine. Gonna try and make time for daily walks to try and fix it. And running more often. But sheesh.
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Apr 22, 2020 07:25
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My work is extremely not handling quarantine well. Our management chain goes me -> lead -> supervisor -> manager -> director of site -> corporate lady, and the corporate lady doesn't understand our job at all and continues to impose more and more strict metric requirements based on making sure we appear busy. My coworkers are collectively on the verge of an absolute meltdown and I'm currently on a zoom call where my lead is on the verge of tears telling us that basically, there's nothing she can do and she will be required to yell at us for not meeting the metrics.
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Apr 22, 2020 20:17
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I actually forgot I toxxed for Bernie, I didn't abandon this site in disgust I know no one cares, but after taking a long break from the twitter politics and pace of this place and just finally telling a professional about how I wanted to die if Trump gets re-elected I feel... much better I explained how my internal monologue was a non-stop pundit sphere, about polls and demographics and more polls and the 2018 election and the 2012 election and the 2010 election and just so much, and they just told me that it sounded exhausting. It was. I didn't have the emotional energy to do anything, and I couldn't decouple from it because it was literally a matter of life and death for me. I didn't want to die, but I didn't want to live with a certain outcome, and it made me feel trapped and frustrated and caring too much about election minutia because what the hell else could I do? Especially in the past month, since I spent time and effort and resources on something and it didn't work out. For the first time, too. But, you know, I realized it was me feeling helpless. Utterly helpless about something that mattered to me. Utterly helpless because things are much bigger than I am. This realization and the ability to see that I'm in the middle of history kinda made me feel more relaxed. I still wouldn't say I feel "good" because I can honestly say that I hope this pandemic gets worse for certain groups of people, but considering that even local news facebook sections want the protesters to get sick and die, I don't think I'm abnormal in that regard. We're living through a plague. If we feel unstable, well no poo poo. But at least I don't feel too exhausted to do anything anymore. I probably won't post here or watch this forum because I think it literally drove me to madness, but I learned a lot while I was here and I'm still alive.
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Apr 23, 2020 00:12
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Grondoth posted:I actually forgot I toxxed for Bernie, I didn't abandon this site in disgust yeah tbh sucking down some reflexive nihilism after March has made April, normally the month I keep reserved for massive stupid tragedy, really pretty bearable. March was absolutely crippling because dumbass made the mistake of thinking good things were possible, and I should have known better. Just kinda breathing and accepting that lying in the gutter is better than it could be is calming, compared to the catastrophic fall that came from really caring about and donating to political things in January and February. I've pretty much excised reading anything here other than this, the gaming thread and a few other generally inoffensive ones, and cut out my favorite hobby, the leper's colony, because all it makes me do is get really loving mad whenever i accidentally click on a D&D post and have to listen to people with decent politics argue with rape defenders because that's what America is now. I doubt either of these are very good things honestly, but I'd be lying if I said that hopelessness wasn't a lot more comfortable. I mean, gently caress, I've been doing quarantine recreationally for years and professionally since last September. Much like a cat, my biggest personal problem with the plague is having my bf at home all the time instead of having it to myself. Hell, I don't even really have to worry about getting sick, since I have minimal exposure to begin with, and if I actually did manage to get sick, I'd either get over it on my own or die anyway. Helplessness and hopelessness are freeing if they're things you're used to. Right now, it's any port in a storm as far as coping mechanisms go, and I've felt a lot better too after telling myself to not care about politics as much as humanly possible. As long as I'm certain that better things won't happen, I can go about my day working and maybe enjoying a quiet morning walk in the park, or just getting way too absorbed in Persona 5. I don't have to sit and worry about Bernie losing, or a rapist getting the nomination, or even a plague ending the world. I just passed the two year anniversary of being dumped yesterday, and the 2 month anniversary of not using speed today, and last April was as close to suicide as I've been since I actually gave it a go in my 20s, but this is probably as calm and quiet as I've been since two years ago. Might be the relative sobriety, might just be the general quiet of the world if you stay out of anything involving electoralism or pestilence, two things I really should remember to weigh more equally. idk this got pretty aimless and I mostly wanted to vent about myself but I definitely feel you about just turning the cacophony off--I wish I knew how to do it without going into a weird avoidant never talking direction, but I guess one step at a time
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Apr 23, 2020 03:49
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I realized on LSD how miserable the rigid Marxist ideology was making me. Good things can happen even if society does not go exactly how I want it to go. I'd strongly recommend antidepressants, they make you think clearer about the world and to see good things in everyday life. Everyday now is a great big beautiful gift that I'll make the most out of, with an equally great tomorrow at the end of the day. Turn off your mind, relax and float downstream*. This is not dying. Zvahl posted:I've pretty much excised reading anything here other than this, the gaming thread and a few other generally inoffensive ones, and cut out my favorite hobby, the leper's colony, because all it makes me do is get really loving mad whenever i accidentally click on a D&D post and have to listen to people with decent politics argue with rape defenders because that's what America is now. You have to realize that some people have lovely, but different views on the world, and there's unfortunately not much you can do to change that. It's easy to herald political violence, but a person must deal with not going through life just using violence until the world goes their way.
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Apr 23, 2020 06:05
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Is it healthy to realize that maybe right now your not gonna get anywhere and it's okay? Like, just relax for once? But I'm having a hard time trying to figure out how to feel good the past few months. It's strange. I'm almost there but I still have a huge panic about EVERYTHING.
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Apr 23, 2020 07:02
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rudecyrus posted:I'm finding it harder and harder to give a poo poo about anything. It's a struggle to get out of bed in the morning. What's the point? It's not like I have places to go or people to see. I feel stagnant. I desperately want to be a writer, but I can't put words on a page because my brain refuses to comply. Every time I try to start it says, "Why bother? Go watch random Youtube videos instead," and I'll think "You're right, brain," and that's another day gone. Something Ive always heard from successful writers is that when they cant write they read and they read a lot. Writing is a skill and skills can be very hard to develop when youre feeling trapped or depressed. If you dont feel up to reading there are also lots of BookTube channels on YouTube, I think listening to other people talk about books they read can be enjoyable and its like reading adjacent. Siljmonster posted:Is it healthy to realize that maybe right now your not gonna get anywhere and it's okay? Like, just relax for once? But I'm having a hard time trying to figure out how to feel good the past few months. I think its totally healthy to give yourself room to breathe right now. Were all enduring a collective grief on various levels that isnt going anywhere for who knows how long and I know social media has plenty of people out there like Using this pandemic to master carpentry! but I think for most of us thats not realistic. Im doing weirdly good right now, but I think its just because all my PTSD management tools work really well in a pandemic somehow. But poo poo, I aint doing great and Im suspicious of anyone who is honestly. Weve all got different definitions of good and I think for some people getting out of bed and getting dressed everyday is an accomplishment right now and for others it might be not giving up on trying to find work. If youre managing to the best of your ability and not falling into unhealthy behaviors then youre probably doing as well as anyone can be expected. If youre not doing as well as can be expected theres no harm in trying to do better but I think mid-pandemic its understandable for everyones standards for how hard you have to try to be lower. I am curious how any of my fellow PTSD goons are doing? Idk if thats an okay thing to ask so sorry and ignore me if its not. I was worried that that my hyper vigilance was going to skyrocket but its stayed the same and now feels like an appropriate amount of vigilance in a pandemic. I also feel like growing up in an environment where bad things were always happening has trained my brain to go into a calm autopilot whenever bad things happen and now that a bad thing is ongoing Ive slipped into a weird chill mode and idk if thats a good thing or a common normal PTSD thing. Both my husband and therapist say its normal and my therapist was even like hey this is a good thing that came from trauma and its okay to enjoy it but I feel like I would feel better knowing how other PTSD people are doing?
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Apr 23, 2020 08:02
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[my therapist] is a nice therapist, but she's like vanilla bean. Not plain vanilla, that was the school counselor in fall 2018 who just always asked "so what do you feel about that?" Every time i said something. But [current therapist] tries to repeat back what i said, but using therapist jargon, like i'm "reorganizing my patterns of behavior" or whatever. It lets me know she was listening but like, are these notes for her to show her boss that we're actually trying to work here and arent just chit-chatting as friends, on the govt dime? I'd prefer if she talked real with me, but also challenged me. Be the rocky road flavor, not vanilla bean. I never expect to learn anything from a session, so i'm just divulging stuff to a stranger ive never told anyone else. Which i guess is something, but i thought i should expect more from a therapist i'm tired of transitioning taking so long. after a year i still look like my dad. surgery is still another year+ away, and that countdown is on pause during quarantine. and i'm lonely but dating before the surgery seems like an uphill waste of time got any sevens has issued a correction as of 09:47 on Apr 23, 2020 |
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Apr 23, 2020 09:44
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Chuka Umana posted:I realized on LSD how miserable the rigid Marxist ideology was making me. Good things can happen even if society does not go exactly how I want it to go. I'd strongly recommend antidepressants, they make you think clearer about the world and to see good things in everyday life. Everyday now is a great big beautiful gift that I'll make the most out of, with an equally great tomorrow at the end of the day. I don't even have a primary care physician, let alone a p doc. Even getting in the door to get a prescription, with no consultation and assuming they don't try to upsell me into a physical, was $150 the last time I tried. I did antidepressants with no therapy for years. Mostly because the uninsured rates are, again, like $150 an hour. I understand sliding scale, but the last time I asked about it, the person doing the answering was confused as to why my annual income wasn't steady because I was on hourly sweatshop wage. Is explaining my awful deeply unreliable but still technically there income part of being allowed to get help? I mean, of course it is, but still. Just fixing the chemical problems is not enough, and just feels empty. I did it from as soon as I could get Obamacare in 2014 until it became too expensive in 2016, which is the only time in my adult life I've gotten any medical care voluntarily. It's putting a Rita Hayworth poster over the hole in happy jail I use to get out into the depression poo poo tube that I am familiar being in. I don't know how to think like a person whose brain is not full of garbage, and I don't know how to ask for help when I have 0 friends and one person who financially depends on me. And the solution is endless doctors visits to make sure you can get the right chemicals to go to endless therapist visits to turn this garbage goblin I've spent 38 years building into a human being who can initiate a conversation. It'd be a bad value proposition even at insured rates, but at least then it sounds possible.
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Apr 23, 2020 11:26
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I was feeling incredibly calm (but horribly unproductive) so far and now I am in a sheer panic after getting an email that my employer will be doing performance reviews as soon as we're in the office or by the end of Q2. I'm definitely going to get reamed. This is how my brain works apparently. "World ending pandemic? Not so bad. Performance review?  "
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Apr 23, 2020 11:30
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Anyone here have biological kids? My wife just told me she wants to have kids of our own (we previously agreed that fostering/adopting would be the way to go, but biological clocks appear to be a thing lol. i previously ended a 5 year relationship because she wanted kids). I figured kids were in our future, but with our family history of mental illness (all of her siblings are diagnosed, as is my half-brother and both of us are) and addiction, I figured making a kid that's likely to suffer from mental illness is the height of selfishness. That said, I'm open to the idea. I'm just wondering how others have made the decision to raise a kid knowing there's a really good chance they'll go through what you've gone through. Doubly so as an american in 2020.
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Apr 24, 2020 00:22
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IMO having children is child abuse regardless of if you're mentally ill or not, but that doesn't seem to be stopping anyone. Get your gently caress on or whatever
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Apr 24, 2020 00:29
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Eat This Glob posted:Anyone here have biological kids? My wife just told me she wants to have kids of our own (we previously agreed that fostering/adopting would be the way to go, but biological clocks appear to be a thing lol. i previously ended a 5 year relationship because she wanted kids). I figured kids were in our future, but with our family history of mental illness (all of her siblings are diagnosed, as is my half-brother and both of us are) and addiction, I figured making a kid that's likely to suffer from mental illness is the height of selfishness. That said, I'm open to the idea. I'm just wondering how others have made the decision to raise a kid knowing there's a really good chance they'll go through what you've gone through. Doubly so as an american in 2020. My biological father committed suicide when I was in middle school. I grew up talking with him on the phone when he would call once a month or so, and knowing that he was a sad person. I also grew up crying myself to sleep almost every night. I couldn't tell you why because I had a good life, and I hid it from everyone. In adulthood I know that it's because I was severely depressed as a child. I know that I inherited some of his mental problems. However, knowing that it is a fault is what lets me overcome it. In fact some ways I feel like it makes me stronger to understand my issues. I'm in a situation that I will never have children of my own. Like my parents, my wife and I may adopt some day. I don't think it's a bad idea to have children if you have a history of depression or mental disorder, but I do believe it's important to let them know so that they can understand if they go through it too.
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Apr 24, 2020 00:58
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You could always foster. They pay you, nobody really checks in because lmao orphans, it's brilliant. And you still get to guilt someone into wiping your arse later in life! (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Apr 24, 2020 01:00
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Chunderbucket posted:You could always foster. They pay you, nobody really checks in because lmao orphans, it's brilliant. And you still get to guilt someone into wiping your arse later in life! this is a terribly callous thing to say in this of all threads
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Apr 24, 2020 03:38
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I feel the same way about him re: mental illness parenting worries, and somebody's gotta look after them kids
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Apr 24, 2020 03:58
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Squizzle posted:this is a terribly callous thing to say in this of all threads i asked the question and i think they weren't being callous fwiw. i preferred to foster/adopt than making a bio babby because I was worried as hell about passing along my sadbrains, but thank you for looking out. i mean that
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Apr 24, 2020 05:18
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I hope this doesnt come off as callous but my husband & I have had this discussion too and I think it partially depends on what is in your family history and the potential burden not just on your child but on you as parents. My husbands family has a history of mental illness including schizophrenia and one of his uncles was schizophrenic and had to live with his parents well into his adulthood because he wasnt doing well on his own to put it lightly and they struggled finding a good balance of meds & therapy and eventually his parents got too old to look after him and his mental health declined until he died, possibly by accident possibly by suicide. Part of why my husband didnt want to take the chance of passing schizophrenia on to our children was that he didnt want us to find ourselves in the struggle his great aunt & uncle went through. Im not trying to pass judgement on people who do take that chance but I also dont judge anyone who tries to avoid that. I think people should go into big decisions in life with as much information as they can and to discuss potential outcomes, not shy away from considering how difficult an outcome you are willing to live with. Also, Im not saying people with schizophrenia are bad or people with mental illness are bad. Lots of people live fulfilling happy lives in spite of these challenges, please dont think Im advocating eugenics or something.
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Apr 24, 2020 07:08
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I started taking antidepressants and got a job a month and a half later, in the middle of all :gestures around vaguely: this. I now feel better during this quarantine than I did two months ago. things can get better!
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Apr 24, 2020 07:44
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[quote="Trixie Hardcore" [/quote] ty for that. means a lot
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Apr 24, 2020 08:12
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i somehow made it through all my exams without loving up super hard, my gf is happy with me, and i don't feel like total poo poo for once. yay
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Apr 24, 2020 09:13
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Trixie Hardcore posted:Also, I’m not saying people with schizophrenia are bad or people with mental illness are bad. Lots of people live fulfilling happy lives in spite of these challenges, please don’t think I’m advocating eugenics or something. I have always been of the opinion that the more selfish thing is to want a child so much you ignore something like high risk of a particular disease or mental illness - especially one that has the potential to be crippling. theres nothing inherently wrong with a mentally ill child (or person in general) but I wouldnt wish a life like your uncles on a child. not to say hey was miserable his entire life, but you cant help but feel like youre missing out on life and feeling helpless. I know what that kind of misery is like and I dont wish that on anyone for any amount of time
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Apr 24, 2020 16:35
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Unless the parents go through enough therapy to resolve their own poo poo they will pass it on to their children, even non-biological children. Of course there are genetic and epigenetic factors that increase the risk of mental health issues but if the parents have unresolved issues they are going to pass those issues onto the child anyway, with or without genetic predisposition. Here's two overly simplified examples: A) Family of mother, father, older daughter, younger son. Parents are divorced and kids switch houses every week. Dad has anger issues and depression so when he has trouble reigning in his daughter's teenagery he yells at the son, "Well you deal with her! Why aren't you helping!" Now the son has been triangulated repeatedly and develops GAD. B) Mother has undiagnosed schizophrenia and MDD and can't contain her delusions and hallucinations so they get projected onto/into the daughter (think Container/Contained stuff). The daughter develops symptoms of schizophrenia when she hits 20. Basically all unresolved issues get projected into the child unfairly. I'd like to think the answer to that is everyone on the planet goes to therapy to better themselves rather than give up on having kids.
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Apr 24, 2020 17:11
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Lady Militant posted:i somehow made it through all my exams without loving up super hard, my gf is happy with me, and i don't feel like total poo poo for once. yay Today has been a lovely day, but this brief post cheered me up a little. Congratulations on the not loving up, happiness of gf and non-total-shittiness.
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Apr 24, 2020 21:21
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Gravy Jones posted:Today has been a lovely day, but this brief post cheered me up a little. Congratulations on the not loving up, happiness of gf and non-total-shittiness. This might sound stupid and cliche but without this website i wouldn't be...anything. Not in the "recognition" sense but in the developing myself into being a better person kinda way. Without C-SPAM nobody in my department would want to read anything I say. The information goons share with one another is like nothing else on the internet. Not even close. So keep it up goons. Thank you for making my life from a total shitshow into a very productive and much better time managed shitshow 
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Apr 25, 2020 22:31
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Care to share the trick to that last bit? 
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Apr 25, 2020 23:28
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i did see someone mention L-tyrosine supplements yesterday. googled em a bit and they might help, no studies on daily use longer than 3 months tho i think
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Apr 25, 2020 23:53
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-nevermind-
Joe Chip has issued a correction as of 08:06 on Apr 26, 2020 |
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Apr 26, 2020 07:59
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thehandtruck posted:Unless the parents go through enough therapy to resolve their own poo poo they will pass it on to their children, even non-biological children. Bipolar and schizophrenia are worrisome though because those are strongly genetic. One of the reasons MY WIFE and I decided not to have kids is with both of us having it our children would almost certainly end up with it. That's not necessarily a deal breaker and there's other reasons, not the least of which is horrific parental abuse making us really gun-shy to raise our own kids, but it's definitely a factor in the decision. Have a kid if you want one, just make sure you love and support them. But, also don't feel bad if you don't one, you're under no obligation to reproduce regardless of what patriarchy says. Just care either way and everything should work itself out, or at least I think so.
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Apr 26, 2020 18:26
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Also thanks to whoever hit the bad post in my absence because it was bad
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Apr 26, 2020 18:26
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I'm having another breakdown regarding work. I always had problems with chronic procrastination. My productivity has been getting worse and worse before the lockdown and reduced to near zero. With all the talk of a Second Great Depression I fear never working again. My family keeps telling me that I am safe because I do programming even though I keep insisting that 1) My degree is in Aerospace, which will take a massive hit and 2) the little I have learned doesn't hold a candle to experienced software people. In fact, my company is locked in a huge struggle between people who want to learn and do proper software design and management that wants to get things done. And despite me having literally dozens of books on design, I don't know how to apply it. I don't do personal projects because I either feel too tired (even after doing nothing all day) or have no ideas. I literally can't do anything for over an hour straight. I don't know if my med regimen will help with this since my psychiatrist was more worried about depression (I once tried Ritalin but it didn't work). I know no one who I think can give me a good reference. I mention this to my family and everyone says "Everything is fine, you're too paranoid!" "Imposter syndrome!". I can't go around asking my coworkers what to do about not sucking anymore. I don't know what to do. I feel like I will become destitute for life. AceOfFlames has issued a correction as of 01:55 on Apr 27, 2020 |
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Apr 27, 2020 01:18
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adhd is real. all we can do is cope and hope
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Apr 27, 2020 02:04
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AceOfFlames posted:I'm having another breakdown regarding work. are you seeing a therapist
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Apr 27, 2020 02:13
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thehandtruck posted:are you seeing a therapist Yes. Hope she can help. Bit then again, can anyone? I told her one of my goals was."finding out what I want out of life" and "become a more functional person" and she said that was a "little vague". I'm starting to think I have zero concept of self and autonomy. I don't have my own opinions save for my progressive values and beliefs that everyone should be respected and treated well except for those who don't. I don't decorate my house. I drifted through my career. I hardly have any hobbies anymore. I feel like my life is a slow march towards death. Am I a lost cause? AceOfFlames has issued a correction as of 07:21 on Apr 27, 2020 |
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Apr 27, 2020 02:18
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