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hyperhazard posted:Jacob's reaction really comes out of nowhere. I think Meyer meant for it to be some sort of dramatic irony, since he ends up imprinting on Bella and Edward's kid Jacob comes across worse and worse every time he shows up. It's like as soon as she needed to create this forced love triangle Jacob transformed into a super creepy weirdo. I guess it works with the werewolves having zero control over their rage...I guess...
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Apr 28, 2020 03:29
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hyperhazard posted:Jacob's reaction really comes out of nowhere. I think Meyer meant for it to be some sort of dramatic irony, since he ends up imprinting on Bella and Edward's kid Ahahahahahahahahahhahaaaaaa delightful.
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Apr 28, 2020 03:34
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Up Circle posted:Jacob comes across worse and worse every time he shows up. It's like as soon as she needed to create this forced love triangle Jacob transformed into a super creepy weirdo. I guess it works with the werewolves having zero control over their rage...I guess... Meyer seems to have a pretty major problem with characterization, in that she has trouble grasping the complexity of humans and handling moral ambiguity. When she needs someone to be a foil or be placed in the wrong, she doesn't have any tools in her box except what's essentially character assassination: make them abruptly behave in an awful way counter to how they were before. Sometimes it's permanent, sometimes it's a character suddenly becoming an extreme rear end in a top hat because the book needs to paint them as flawed or wrong in a given moment. Mike Newton is actually the best example other than Jacob because he's the one character this happened to who really hasn't gotten a "redemption." When we first met him in the first book, he was a completely pleasant and normal guy! Bella found him a little too clingy in his obvious crush on her, but he never seemed to actually overstep any boundaries or do anything that could result in someone disliking him. The book ends with him giving up on Bella and finding a girlfriend in an even less important side character. Despite this, Bella and Edward immediately began expressing hatred for him; in Midnight Sun Edward is very explicitly fantasizing about slaughtering him for daring to shower attention on the girl he's interested in, and since the first chapter establishes how much murder is on his mind as he tries to suppress his desire to feed I have no reason to believe it's just exaggeration. I should also point out that in general, all of Bella's friends except possibly Angela suffer from this. Meyer needed Bella to have an immediate group of human friends she could have scenes with, so almost everyone at the school instantly takes a liking to her and tries to befriend her on the spot. When the plot begins moving away from high school drama, they can now start behaving in ways that Meyer paints as bad, the most prominent of which is Jessica (very reasonably) stopping associating with Bella after she suddenly dissociates in the middle of the road and fails to ever apologize properly or get help. Come New Moon and suddenly Mike is a dickhead. Meyer needs a foil for Jacob to help paint him as a nice guy that Bella could reasonably consider an alternative to Edward and thus set up a love triangle scenario, so Mike abruptly breaks up with Jessica and becomes a weird loser who openly lusts over Bella and behaves awfully on a night out to the movies. By the time Breaking Dawn rolls around, he's been paired back up with Jessica (because he's no longer necessary as a foil for anyone) but his new character as "That weird guy who obsessed over Bella when he shouldn't have" has been made permanent. He exists purely as the butt of a joke. There's also the problem where Meyer seems to let her own opinion of the way things should be going influence Bella's point of view. It's very, very rare that the way Bella looks at something is outright presented as wrong outside of attempts to set up red herrings, no matter how aggravatingly obvious it is. She often makes observations that the narration and later context seem to suggest should be taken as fact, which usually involve the uncanny ability to identify other characters' motivations. Unless we're explicitly told later on to disregard that, any of Bella's observations have an implicit factual nature behind them. Charlie probably gets hit with this the most. He does suffer the character assassination form when Meyer has him disable Bella's truck and later dismiss Jacob's sexual assault on his daughter (both things I can't credibly say he would have done, knowing everything about him), but for the most part everything he does as a father is completely reasonable but Meyer needs him as a disapproving father figure to be avoided. As I've said many times, from Charlie's perspective these books are the tale of his whiny brat of a daughter falling in love with a weird rich kid and steadily losing her mind and engaging in incredibly dangerous and impulsive behavior because of it. But because Bella and Edward's love is pure and good and Caucasian, Bella rolls her eyes at him and engages in plots to hide information from him. She even repeatedly threatens him with making him relive his ex-wife's abandoning of him when she needs to press on his old wounds a bit, and the books never once call out how horrific that is. Meanwhile, Charlie gives her far more privilege and love than she ever shows herself as deserving. But unless told otherwise, Bella is always right and thus Charlie is just a curmudgeonly old man who doesn't get it. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 16:36 on Sep 2, 2020 |
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Apr 28, 2020 04:03
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I found three extremely good articles written a decade (!) ago about the series. It's a breakdown on the subtle racism present and how it intersects with Mormon teachings. They do have spoilers if you're super serious about that. https://web.archive.org/web/20100425031135/http://www.womanist-musings.com/2010/04/monstrous-musings-got-vampire-privilege.html https://web.archive.org/web/20100509060436/http://www.womanist-musings.com/2010/05/monstrous-musings-got-vampire-privilege.html https://web.archive.org/web/20111128130908/http://www.womanist-musings.com/2011/11/monstrous-musings-race-lessons-from.html
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Apr 28, 2020 06:14
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chitoryu12 posted:In this case, the problem is less "rough sex" and more "Bella needs to rely on her husband, who is strong enough to lift a car and whose penis is literally a rock-hard shaft, will maintain perfect control while losing his virginity to the human he has an extreme desire for and not accidentally pulverize her lower body with one thrust." I mean everything has a risk with Edward's strength but reasonably that risk could be more broken hand then broken spine and ribs. PetraCore fucked around with this message at 17:05 on Apr 28, 2020 |
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Apr 28, 2020 17:03
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PetraCore posted:It feels like this whole thing could have been resolved more safely with the acknowledgement that sex is more than PIV intercourse. Mormon.
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Apr 28, 2020 17:29
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Cythereal posted:Mormon.
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Apr 28, 2020 17:44
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I was actually kind of intrigued by Jacob's plight, watching all his friends suddenly change and begin to lose himself as well, all specifically because of the Cullens parking themselves nearby. He was a smart kid, could have done anything with his life, and suddenly he's a werewolf stuck dealing with vampires. But then it turns out the only problem with this new arrangement is that he doesn't have Bella. I could "kinda" buy Jacob's character shift stemming from him becoming a monster himself, but that doesn't seem to be Meyer's intent, and the unsettling body horror element seems to have given way to mild annoyances. Apart from poor Leah, I guess, who has a lot more to deal with. It would be kind of funny if it turned out Mike was secretly transforming into a Leprechaun or something and that's why his personality completely changes.
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Apr 28, 2020 19:00
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Grammarchist posted:I could "kinda" buy Jacob's character shift stemming from him becoming a monster himself, but that doesn't seem to be Meyer's intent, and the unsettling body horror element seems to have given way to mild annoyances. Apart from poor Leah, I guess, who has a lot more to deal with. I would love this whole series from Leah's point of view. She's the only girl in a super duper manly old boys' club, and her backstory is legitimately tragic. Imagine her gaining confidence in her abilities, coming to peace with her breakup, and showing the tribe that women can be powerful protectors as well. That's not exactly a ground-breaking hero's journey, but at least it would be interesting. But nope, she's a bitter harpy and we're stuck with a protagonist whose MO is to launch into hysterics every time the plot moves forward.
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Apr 28, 2020 19:50
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hyperhazard posted:I would love this whole series from Leah's point of view. She's the only girl in a super duper manly old boys' club, and her backstory is legitimately tragic. Imagine her gaining confidence in her abilities, coming to peace with her breakup, and showing the tribe that women can be powerful protectors as well. That's not exactly a ground-breaking hero's journey, but at least it would be interesting. It would also make Harry Clearwater actually have meaning as a person. As he stands now, he’s a plot device that only exists to die so a misunderstanding can be created in New Moon. But to Leah, she’s her beloved father who just died from the shock of seeing her become a wolf. Leah is the only member of the pack who can’t even find enjoyment in her powers because she has serious trauma related to it, in addition to all the drama among the tribe.
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Apr 28, 2020 22:41
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The live journal “Das Sporking” years ago had categories counting what they felt were the most common offenses in the books and one was called “Let’s poo poo on Leah” because it happens so often. I think I brought this up before but also remember that Leah is the name of one of Meyers’s sister-in-laws - several of the secondary and tertiary characters are named after family (Seth is another example) but it comes off weird at best after what this character goes through.
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Apr 28, 2020 23:44
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Chapter 5: Isle Esmequote:“Houston?" I asked, raising my eyebrows as we reached the gate in Seattle. Okay but what if Jasper actually convinced Bella that their honeymoon needed to be cowboy-themed. quote:It felt like I’d barely fallen asleep when he woke me. I was groggy as he pulled me through the terminals, struggling to remember how to open my eyes after every blink. It took me a few minutes to catch up with what was going on when we stopped at the international counter to check in for our next flight. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yUafzOXHPE quote:I watched in silence while he prepared the boat for departure, surprised at how skilled and comfortable he seemed, because he’d never mentioned an interest in boating before. But then again, he was good at just about everything. As he's over a hundred years old, I would be quite confused and disappointed if Edward didn't take that time to get good at everything even if it does contribute to his character being eye-rolling. quote:As we headed due east into the open ocean, I reviewed basic geography in my head. As far as I could remember, there wasn’t much east of Brazil… until you got to Africa. Okay maybe this is the fic we needs. Edward just forgets about human needs and does their honeymoon on a motorboat for a month. quote:“About another half hour.” His eyes took in my hands, clenched on the seat, and he grinned. That would make this book way too interesting, so no. quote:Twenty minutes later, he called my name over the roar of the engine. Meyer seems a bit confused about geography here. They turned east from Rio, but Rio is actually on a southern coast of Brazil due to the big bulge on its eastern side. They would have been motoring along the coast rather than out into open ocean. quote:The boat slowed dramatically, drawing with precision into position against a short dock constructed of wooden planks, bleached into whiteness by the moon. The engine cut off, and the silence that followed was profound. There was nothing but the waves, slapping lightly against the boat, and the rustle of the breeze in the palms. The air was warm, moist, and fragrant—like the steam left behind after a hot shower. Yeah but Carlisle is actually a decent person who does good things in undeath. Edward is a brat who gives out expensive gifts to make you like him. quote:He placed the suitcases on the dock and then turned back, smiling his perfect smile as he reached for me. Instead of taking my hand, he pulled me right up into his arms.  Because there's obviously no islands in the real life location, Isle Esme was played in the film by Casa em Paraty, a secluded beach house near Rio de Janeiro only accessible by helicopter or boat. quote:My heart thudded audibly against my ribs, and my breath seemed to get stuck in my throat. I felt Edward’s eyes on my face, but I refused to meet his gaze. I stared straight ahead, seeing nothing. Of course the Cullens like everything white. quote:Then Edward stopped and turned on the last light.  In case any of you are millionaires, Isle Esme is still open for rent! quote:Edward set me on my feet. “I’ll… go get the luggage.” Edward hauls a space heater into the bedroom. quote:I swallowed loudly, still facing away from him. Had there ever been a honeymoon like this before? Why is he talking like an alien? quote:I nodded woodenly. I felt barely human; maybe a few minutes alone would help. Wait, now he's turning on the charm effortlessly just one sentence later? quote:He walked past me to the French door that opened right onto the beach sand. On the way, he shrugged out of his shirt, dropping it on the floor, and then slipped through the door into the moonlit night. The sultry, salty air swirled into the room behind him.  Bella's lingerie was one of the few movie costumes not put up for auction. This is a now-rare and discontinued piece from Agent Provocateur, a brand that you may recall being namedropped in the William Control thread as well. quote:Giving up, I went to the bathroom and peeked out through the long windows that opened to the same beach as the French doors. I couldn’t see him; I guessed he was there in the water, not bothering to come up for air. In the sky above, the moon was lopsided, almost full, and the sand was bright white under its shine. A small movement caught my eye—draped over a bend in one of the palm trees that fringed the beach, the rest of his clothes were swaying in the light breeze. There are multiple articles talking about why saving sex until marriage is actually a pretty bad idea. I can't find the specific one I'm looking for, but in general it tends to cause a lot of psychological hang-ups for the woman in relation to sex that pervade even after losing their virginity. The article in particular I remember had the woman tying her self-worth to virginity so strongly that she began to feel like she was now worthless as a girl since she had sex, but she continued with it even when she didn't want to because she felt that she had a duty to her husband. When they figure this out, they pretty quickly come to realize what "no sex until marriage" is really about : controlling women. quote:When I was done, I grabbed a huge white towel off the counter and wrapped it under my arms. Yeah, this ain't good. quote:And I wasn’t freaking out because I thought we were making a mistake. Not at all. I was freaking out because I had no idea how to do this, and I was afraid to walk out of this room and face the unknown. Especially in French lingerie. I knew I wasn’t ready for that yet. Well, they have healthy relationships and don't tie their entire value as a person to having the perfect man in love with them! quote:But it was Edward out there, so I whispered the words “Don’t be a coward” under my breath and scrambled to my feet. I hitched the towel tighter under my arms and marched determinedly from the bathroom. Past the suitcase full of lace and the big bed without looking at either. Out the open glass door onto the powder-fine sand. His asscheeks gleaming like the surface of the sun. quote:The fire was no longer a flash burn across my skin—it was slow and deep now; it smoldered away all my awkwardness, my shy uncertainty. I slipped the towel off without hesitation, leaving it on the tree with his clothes, and walked out into the white light; it made me pale as the snowy sand, too. Shaved her legs and nothing else. quote:“I promised we would try,” he whispered, suddenly tense. “If… if I do something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once.” "Like rama lama lama, ka dinga da dinga dong." quote:I was abruptly overwhelmed by the truth of my own words. This moment was so perfect, so right, there was no way to doubt it.
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Apr 29, 2020 03:07
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Taking your wife to your parents' loveshack island for your honeymoon seems like a weird flex, but ok.
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Apr 29, 2020 14:06
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Outside of this book, I was reading something else when a point was brought up about Jasper. If you read the novella about Bree Tanner, it provides a pretty horrific scene: after the battle, Jasper seems to be using his power to purposefully drive her into a rage that could lead to him killing her. I honestly can't believe what Meyer is doing at any time with these characters.
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Apr 29, 2020 19:33
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I bet Bella's mom is going to have some insane travel plans for the next few years. She doesn't seem like the kind of person able to glimpse the Cullens' lifestyle without having their appetite whetted. Like that one guy at work who finds out you went hiking over the weekend and buys an expensive off-road truck the next day.
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Apr 30, 2020 18:53
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quote:The sun, hot on the bare skin of my back, woke me in the morning. Late morning, maybe afternoon, I wasn’t sure. Everything besides the time was clear, though; I knew exactly where I was—the bright room with the big white bed, brilliant sunlight streaming through the open doors. The clouds of netting would soften the shine. There you go. A sex scene so off-screen that you barely even know it happened at all. quote:His fingers softly trailed down the contours of my spine, and I knew that he knew I was awake. I kept my eyes shut and tightened my arms around his neck, holding myself closer to him. Literally hosed the memory out of her. quote:To answer his question, my stomach growled. I laughed again. “You just can’t escape being human for very long.” Tab A into Slot B! quote:I couldn’t think of any part that would make him look like this—so severe and cold. What had I missed? No, I will not find a fanfic that tries to determine what occurred. quote:And then I was a little angry, because he was darkening this most perfect of all mornings with his pessimistic assumptions. “Why would you jump to that conclusion? I’ve never been better than I am now.” This girl woke up happy and smiling and he's still finding an excuse to angst about how terrible he is. Either this whining is a permanent feature of the rest of his existence or she really lost her memories. quote:Wounded, shocked, I followed his instruction unthinkingly and then gasped. Not an uncommon event. quote:“You… bit a pillow? Why?” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOidGUY4Dm0 As expected, the movie actually shows us what happened. Edward does a tad bit more than bite some pillows. Because Edward is stretching out this scene in the book way longer than he has to by being emo, they just have Bella calm him down mid-entry and they wake up fine. quote:“I’m… so sorry, Bella,” he whispered while I stared at the bruises. “I knew better than this. I should not have—” He made a low, revolted sound in the back of his throat. “I am more sorry than I can tell you.”  quote:I sat for one long moment in total astonishment, trying to come to terms—now that I understood it—with his misery. It was so contrary to the way that I felt that it was difficult to process. Yes, how do you deal with a guy who's so determined to be upset that he ignores when you're happy with what happened? quote:I touched his arm, and he didn’t respond. I wrapped my fingers around his wrist and tried to pry his arm off his face, but I could have been yanking on a sculpture for all the good it did me. Oh God. quote:“I’m not sorry, Edward. I’m… I can’t even tell you. I’m so happy. That doesn’t cover it. Don’t be angry. Don’t. I’m really f—” I feel like I would have thrown a pillow at him and stormed out of the room by this point. quote:“Ugh!” I groaned. “Why can’t you just read my mind already? It’s so inconvenient to be a mental mute!” As much as I want to make a joke about Bella's overwhelming horniness flowing over, this is actually an incredibly aggravating and pointless scene. We've already had the sex happen! Bella is happy and nobody died! Edward finding an excuse to be unhappy and dramatically mope anyway despite everything going right is just extending this chapter for no reason. quote:I took a deep breath. I was feeling more of the soreness now, but it wasn’t that bad. Sort of like the day after lifting weights. I’d done that with Renée during one of her fitness obsessions. Sixty-five lunges with ten pounds in each hand. I couldn’t walk the next day. This was not as painful as that had been by half. I dunno if that's grounds for mocking Edward for being less dangerous than exercise or mocking Bella for being weak as poo poo. quote:I swallowed my irritation and tried to make my voice soothing. “We knew this was going to be tricky. I thought that was assumed. And then—well, it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. And this is really nothing.” I brushed my fingers along my arm. “I think for a first time, not knowing what to expect, we did amazing. With a little practice—” Edward is literally too vanilla to gently caress. quote:I waited, letting him get it all out. Then I waited some more while his breathing went back to normal. When his eyes were calm, I answered, speaking with slow precision. The question finally gets answered of "Does he have feeling down there?" quote:A cool finger pulled my chin back up. This dude hasn't even jacked off in over a century. 5 seconds would probably be enough to make it the best ever. quote:He took my face between his hands, still introspective. “I spoke to Carlisle after you and I made our bargain, hoping he could help me. Of course he warned me that this would be very dangerous for you.” A shadow crossed his expression. “He had faith in me, though—faith I didn’t deserve.” Oh God he had Carlisle teach him how to gently caress. quote:I started to protest, and he put two fingers over my lips before I could comment. It's even more awkward now! quote:“It was more. It was everything.” All right this has gone on twice as long as it should have. quote:I grabbed his chin and leaned forward so that our faces were inches apart. “You listen to me, Edward Cullen. I am not pretending anything for your sake, okay? I didn’t even know there was a reason to make you feel better until you started being all miserable. I’ve never been so happy in all my life—I wasn’t this happy when you decided that you loved me more than you wanted to kill me, or the first morning I woke up and you were there waiting for me.… Not when I heard your voice in the ballet studio”—he flinched at the old memory of my close call with a hunting vampire, but I didn’t pause—“or when you said ‘I do’ and I realized that, somehow, I get to keep you forever. Those are the happiest memories I have, and this is better than any of it. So just deal with it.” I give up. quote:“Then don’t you be unhappy. That’s the only thing that’s wrong here.” This is creepily inhuman. quote:“Whatever makes me happy?” She's writing him as either autistic or sociopathic. quote:I slid carefully off the high bed and stretched again, more aware, now, of the aches and sore spots. I heard him gasp. He turned away from me, and his hands balled up, knuckles white. Had worse from your vampire adventures, or worse from your regular life? quote:I looked at my hair, then, and groaned. This is like when Superman in the Silver Age kept deploying powers like "super knitting" that was just him being really fast. quote:“How did you keep from laughing at this? I look ridiculous.” She's gonna gently caress the sadness out of him. quote:“I’d better find some food for you,” he said in a quiet voice, and he gently unwound my arms. I sighed as he disappeared, moving too fast. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddSGQYdIseE This scene was deleted from the film, as were a number of scenes trying to develop the characters more. quote:He sat down across from me. “I’m not feeding you often enough.” As you may recall from the deleted chapters of Twilight, there was originally a scene of Edward watching Food Network to try and figure out how to cook. quote:I was happy to see it, happy that he seemed more like his normal self. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 02:12 on May 1, 2020 |
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May 1, 2020 02:09
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Accidentally clicked submit early, so refresh the page if you missed that last scene!
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May 1, 2020 02:12
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chitoryu12 posted:Had worse from your vampire adventures, or worse from your regular life? Yeah I mean up until now she's been written as so clumsy she shouldn't cross the street without wearing a helmet so I can't imagine she looks that much worse than usual here.
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May 1, 2020 02:31
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So here's a fun tidbit for anyone who hasn't had the pleasure of reading the 50 Shades books: the corresponding scene in that series (book 3) involves involuntary bruising on their honeymoon as well. However because it's a garbage fire of a book, it plays out like this: - Ana decides to wear a bikini since they're vacationing in the south of France. - Christian gets angry because she's showing too much skin around strangers. He takes her back to the yacht for rough sex. He doesn't tell her it's going to be as rough as it is. He purposely bruises her entire body so that she'll be too embarrassed to show skin in public again. - Ana finds out the next morning, throws things at him in anger. - Christian placates her by buying her an expensive bracelet. She forgives him and assures him that the sex was great and he shouldn't feel bad. As emo and drawn out as this is in Breaking Dawn, I don't think anything can ever be as bad as that scene.
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May 1, 2020 03:49
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hyperhazard posted:So here's a fun tidbit for anyone who hasn't had the pleasure of reading the 50 Shades books: the corresponding scene in that series (book 3) involves involuntary bruising on their honeymoon as well. However because it's a garbage fire of a book, it plays out like this:  
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May 1, 2020 04:09
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hyperhazard posted:So here's a fun tidbit for anyone who hasn't had the pleasure of reading the 50 Shades books: the corresponding scene in that series (book 3) involves involuntary bruising on their honeymoon as well. However because it's a garbage fire of a book, it plays out like this: That thread is sure gonna be something.
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May 1, 2020 04:37
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I was going to make a comment about how slightly worrying and normalising of domestic abuse situations the idea of a woman examining herself and just thinking about how to hide bruising would be. Then apparently 50 Shades author saw the same thing and decided that undertones of domestic abuse was too subtle and literally wrote deliberate abuse being equally accepted by the partner? Ugh.
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May 1, 2020 06:29
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MrNemo posted:I was going to make a comment about how slightly worrying and normalising of domestic abuse situations the idea of a woman examining herself and just thinking about how to hide bruising would be. Then apparently 50 Shades author saw the same thing and decided that undertones of domestic abuse was too subtle and literally wrote deliberate abuse being equally accepted by the partner? Ugh. With Breaking Dawn, I will accept the explanation that the author is too disconnected from anything but the most generic life that she just wrote this scene unironically without any subtext regarding abuse. Normally I would be hunting for subtext here, but Stephenie Meyer seems that boring.
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May 1, 2020 07:47
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Yeah, I definitely don't think Stephanie Meyer has any level of self awareness or general awareness regarding this. Combined with the total lack of editorial oversight I'd side with, 'she just didn't realise it could be read that way' unironically. Certainly I think any subtext in Twilight is more deconstructive psychoanalysis of Stephanie Meyer herself than understanding any message she's trying to convey.
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May 1, 2020 12:20
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Chapter 6: Distractionsquote:My entertainment became the number-one priority on Isle Esme. We snorkeled (well, I snorkeled while he flaunted his ability to go without oxygen indefinitely). We explored the small jungle that ringed the rocky little peak. We visited the parrots that lived in the canopy on the south end of the island. We watched the sunset from the rocky western cove. We swam with the porpoises that played in the warm, shallow waters there. Or at least I did; when Edward was in the water, the porpoises disappeared as if a shark was near. This dude is just so weird. All of his actions and dialogue are still coming off as an alien trying to imitate humans, even as we're told he's totally cool and perfect. quote:Exhaustion didn’t help much with my attempts at persuasion. But I didn’t give up. I tried reasoning, pleading, and grouching, all to no avail. I was usually unconscious before I could really press my case far. And then my dreams felt so real—nightmares mostly, made more vivid, I guessed, by the too-bright colors of the island—that I woke up tired no matter how long I slept. Alice watched them gently caress quote:I’d started out slow with innocent ivory satins, worried that revealing more of my skin would be the opposite of helpful, but ready to try anything. Edward seemed to notice nothing, as if I were wearing the same ratty old sweats I wore at home. This is so Mormon. quote:I had the satisfaction of watching his eyes pop open wide for just a second before he controlled his expression. Negotiating master. quote:I sighed. “Dang it. And I really wanted… Oh well.” It's the only way he knows how to show love! quote:“Well, I was thinking… I know that the whole Dartmouth thing was just supposed to be a cover story, but honestly, one semester of college probably wouldn’t kill me,” I said, echoing his words from long ago, when he’d tried to persuade me to put off becoming a vampire. “Charlie would get a thrill out of Dartmouth stories, I bet. Sure, it might be embarrassing if I can’t keep up with all the brainiacs. Still… eighteen, nineteen. It’s really not such a big difference. It’s not like I’m going to get crow’s feet in the next year.” Weaponized horny. quote:“Why are you doing this to me?” he said through his teeth, his tone suddenly angry. “Isn’t it hard enough without all of this?” He grabbed a handful of lace that was ruffled on my thigh. For a moment, I thought he was going to rip it from the seam. Then his hand relaxed. “It doesn’t matter. I won’t make any deals with you.” Bella's finally been brought back from her insane obsession with immortality by the sheer power of dick. Which is quite odd, considering that apparently vampires can still gently caress! quote:He kissed me back, but not in a way that made me think I was winning. It was more like he was being careful not to hurt my feelings; he was completely, maddeningly in control of himself. Gently, he pulled me away after a moment and cradled me against his chest. Bella Swan: likes literally nothing about existence except sex. quote:I yawned, and he smiled. Bella's dreams finally got rid of Elliot Davis! quote:He sounded disturbed when he spoke again. Obviously, there's nothing prophetic about this whatsoever! quote:In this dream that was both new and old, I simply had to protect the unknown child. There was no other option. At the same time, I knew that I would fail. 8 hours, without stopping or even blinking. quote:“They’re not all bad. Some are nice. So… colorful. Underwater, with the fish and the coral. It all seems like it’s really happening—I don’t know that I’m dreaming. Maybe this island is the problem. It’s really bright here.” Does he really just stare at her all night until she wakes up? I can't imagine how boring that would be. quote:Later, when I awoke in the dark, it was with shock. The dream had been so very real… so vivid, so sensory.… I gasped aloud, now, disoriented by the dark room. Only a second ago, it seemed, I had been under the brilliant sun. Didn't get a wet dream until she was almost 19. quote:“It’s okay, love, you’re fine. I’m here.” He rocked me back and forth, a little too fast to soothe. “Did you have another nightmare? It wasn’t real, it wasn’t real.” Oh this is just a ploy, isn't it? quote:“And?” he finally prompted. I blinked the tears out of my eyes, torn. “Oh, Edward…” This is getting really uncomfortable again. quote:“Please,” I said, my plea muffled against his skin. “Please, Edward?”
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May 2, 2020 06:08
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I wonder if any vampires survived famous ship disasters over the years by simply swimming off into the horizon, or even sinking to the bottom and walking.
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May 2, 2020 06:26
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quote:I stayed very still when I woke up in the morning and tried to keep my breathing even. I was afraid to open my eyes. "Exactly like his penis." quote:“How much trouble am I in?” I asked in a small voice. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmNoxQlIYAA The film version of this chapter highlights exactly what the problem is with Twilight: the author. Even when hamstrung by awful characters, Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson infuse an order of magnitude more character into this couple. By downplaying Edward's anxiety regarding sex to a more reasonable level and removing Bella's overt manipulation of others, everything is both shorter and much less annoying to experience. Breaking Dawn was filmed after Stewart and Pattinson had entered a real romantic relationship, which is why they have actual chemistry on screen. Unfortunately, she would end up cheating on him with director Rupert Sanders (who's 19 years older than her) and they would be permanently split as of 2013. quote:“It was a very good dream,” I murmured. He didn’t comment, so a few seconds later I asked, “Am I forgiven?” Did Alice see that part too? quote:“That’s too bad,” I said. “I liked that one.” Right in the ears! quote:He touched my burning cheek and sighed. “I’m really going to miss that.” But...you were trying to make deals and negotiate with him before. I'm so lost. They can't remain consistent in personalities for even one chapter. None of this feels organic or earned. quote:“Maybe that was the wrong word,” he allowed. "The donkey-like braying didn't throw me off guard as much this time." quote:A hopeful smile started to spread across my face. “I told you that it was all about practice.” I've done that before to a girl, Edward. It's not that hard. quote:I cooked this morning, frying up some eggs—too hungry to do anything more elaborate. Impatient, I flipped them onto a plate after just a few minutes. I'm sure this has absolutely no importance later on. quote:“Weird,” I said after swallowing a scorching bite. “This place is messing with my appetite.” And my dreams, and my already dubious balance. “But I like it here. We’ll probably have to leave soon, though, won’t we, to make it to Dartmouth in time? Wow, I guess we need to find a place to live and stuff, too.” The entire trajectory of this series would have been completely different if they just settled down and boned. Every argument Bella had about turning into a vampire, every time she tried to force events to go in a certain direction to let him transform her, all of her drama with Jacob over her impending transformation, would have been different if this couple got laid. quote:“You are so human,” he said again. Bella's got countless billions of Cullen dollars. They'll make her pass. quote:“I’ll tutor you.” The smile was wide now. “You’re going to love college.” "Also we literally have a psychic who can help us cheat on investments." quote:I raised one eyebrow and then let it go. “So we’re ready, then.” For everyone but your chronic molester, yes. quote:This wasn’t getting any easier. Now that I’d discovered exactly how good being human could be, it was tempting to let my plans drift. Eighteen or nineteen, nineteen or twenty… Did it really matter? I wouldn’t change so much in a year. And being human with Edward… The choice got trickier every day. I hate this stupid series. You know why? You just made so much of the page time utterly worthless. Literal hundreds of pages of text, all stemming from Bella's fear of growing old and desire to be given immortality, paired with Edward's self-loathing and Jacob's rage at the thought. All of the pages of them arguing about marriage. Everything with the Volturi demanding she be changed into a vampire. So many hours dedicated to transcribing this conflict. And now, you've decided that all of that was pointless because you got dick for the first time. That was it. That was the secret to finally getting Bella to stop dismissing Rosalie's trauma, put aside the Volturi coming for her, keep Jacob friendly. Getting hosed. quote:“A few weeks,” I agreed. And then, because there never seemed to be enough time, I added, “So I was thinking—you know what I was saying about practice before?” He literally just told you his vampire hearing means a boat is pulling in. quote:He cocked his head to the side, listening. A half second later, a faint, timid rap on the door sounded. He grinned and turned for the hallway. This girl is gonna get murdered at Dartmouth. quote:I wandered over to the shelves under the big TV and started scanning through the titles. It was hard to decide where to begin. They had more DVDs than a rental store. What a perfect way to date your book! quote:I could hear Edward’s low, velvet voice as he came back down the hall, conversing fluidly in what I assumed was perfect Portuguese. Another, harsher, human voice answered in the same tongue. God only knows what Carlisle and Esme have gotten up to in here. ...oh God, they hosed in the same bed as her in-laws. quote:But the tiny coffee-skinned woman didn’t smile. She stared at me with a mixture of shock, worry, and most of all, wide-eyed fear. Before I could react, Edward motioned for them to follow him toward the chicken coop, and they were gone. So...why does this place have a chicken coop? Does Esme like raising chickens? quote:When he reappeared, he was alone. He walked swiftly to my side and wrapped his arms around me. That is a very garbled form of Lobisomem, which is a real myth in Brazil but is actually their version of a werewolf. Portuguese for "vampire" is just "vampiro." The next problem is that the Ticuna are an Amazonian tribe, over 2600 miles from Rio. This would be like if she replaced the Quileute with a Pueblo reservation. I guess to Meyer, all brown people are the same? quote:“She looked terrified,” I said. You should not be laughing about terrorizing this poor, geographically misplaced woman! quote:“Yes, I’m sure a movie will convince her that you’re human.” I laughed and clasped my arms securely around his neck, stretching up on my tiptoes. He leaned down so that I could kiss him, and then his arms tightened around me, lifting me off the floor so he didn’t have to bend. I want to read a story instead about how Kaure managed to come to the conclusion that Isle Esme is owned by vampires, since Meyer is giving us no clues whatsoever as to how she came to be right about this. quote:“Here,” I said, reaching out at random and grabbing a movie. “Put this on and we can pretend to watch it.” Maybe Bella is such a fan of old books because they're in the public domain? quote:“Will we move back into the white room now?” I wondered idly. Power move: start loving on the couch right in front of Kaure to prove that you're a couple. Instead of thinking Edward's a vampire, she'll think he's a disgusting millionaire playboy on coke. quote:“Is there something the matter with your heart?” Oh my God she heard me. quote:Gustavo and Kaure moved quietly through the house while I waited impatiently for them to finish and tried to pay attention to the happily-ever-after on the screen. I was starting to get sleepy—though, according to Edward, I’d slept half the day—when a rough voice startled me. Edward sat up, keeping me cradled against him, and answered Gustavo in flowing Portuguese. Gustavo nodded and walked quietly toward the front door. This girl is going to find a way to exhaust a vampire. quote:But I didn’t finish. He’d already swept me up into his arms, and his lips silenced mine as he carried me with inhuman speed to the blue room. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKnHYcSG9Po chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 20:58 on May 3, 2020 |
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May 3, 2020 20:15
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Chicken coop was probably an attempt to refer to the bedroom with feathers everywhere in a droll way. Funy joek.
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May 3, 2020 20:41
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Midjack posted:Chicken coop was probably an attempt to refer to the bedroom with feathers everywhere in a droll way. Funy joek. The best kind of joke: the one where you don't notice it's a joke and just get confused.
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May 3, 2020 20:59
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chitoryu12 posted:The best kind of joke: the one where you don't notice it's a joke and just get confused. With the writing all over the place nobody can blame you for not catching everything.
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May 3, 2020 21:37
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that dream confused the hell out of me
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May 3, 2020 22:28
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You'd think Edward would tidy up a little seeing as he does nothing but stare at Bella all night. His brothers would at least catch and eat a shark or something.
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May 4, 2020 00:35
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Grammarchist posted:I wonder if any vampires survived famous ship disasters over the years by simply swimming off into the horizon, or even sinking to the bottom and walking. This would be one of my first moves as a vampire. Go look at all the cool ocean poo poo, find sunken pirate ships and intact liquor and treasure and stuff. I forgot how utterly awful the honeymoon chapters are. As if the gender and sexual messages aren’t bad enough, some good old fashioned racism got in there too! There’s zero reason for the cleaners to be there from a story standpoint. I don’t know why Meyer went with showing them other than to get the “tee-hee vampire seducing a human” remark in there. While I wasn’t present for the fandom meltdown, I’ve read contemporary accounts of how a HUGE chunk of fans began to sour on Meyer because of these chapters and much of this book. While I don’t think anyone expected a hyper-explicit sex scene, many at least thought they’d get something akin to flowery romance novels their parents and libraries failed to hide. Plus by now many young readers were 18 or older, having grown up with the books and by extension Bella herself. It didn’t help that Meyer would drop all kinds of coy hints on the most popular fan forum of that time, either (along with some speculation that veers into the accidental but truly sociopathic). Hey chitoyru, I know we’re a ways off but when it’s time could you please post a picture of (spoilers for future chapters and film content) the unused animatronic toddler the film almost went with? Because holy hell.
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May 4, 2020 01:20
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SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:Hey chitoyru, I know we’re a ways off but when it’s time could you please post a picture of (spoilers for future chapters and film content) the unused animatronic toddler the film almost went with? Because holy hell. Oh my god they did that? Yes please.
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May 4, 2020 01:55
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Midjack posted:Oh my god they did that? Yes please. Oh yes they did. They called it "Chuckesmee" on set.
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May 4, 2020 02:37
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As someone who was a fan of the books as a teenager, yeah this is the book that truly soured me. The thing is, I knew the earlier books weren't good, but they were the book version of cheap chocolate to me - stupid, bland, and weirdly delicious. I didn't take any of the messages about romance seriously, but I enjoyed the dumb drama, the side characters, and Meyer's almost intoxicatingly boring prose. I know that doesn't sound like a plus? But if you're not stopping and thinking about what she's writing, it sort of slides by in a smooth flow, and when I wanted a book to help calm myself down from something, that's what I wanted. I don't think she's actually all that bad at words so much as intensely bad at plot. This book tipped over from 'bad but in an entertaining and soothing way' to just gross.
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May 4, 2020 02:40
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SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:It didn’t help that Meyer would drop all kinds of coy hints on the most popular fan forum of that time, either (along with some speculation that veers into the accidental but truly sociopathic). Want to hear more about this.
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May 4, 2020 03:42
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The entire first half of this book bored me to nearly tears reading it when I was in my 20s at work. Then I loved the last half more than the rest of the series combined and was super jazzed about how the movie would be and easily predicted the exact scene that would end movie 4 and begin movie 5.
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May 4, 2020 03:47
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She knew you were getting close to being done forever, Midnight Sun is actually being released in August!
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May 4, 2020 15:00
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| # ? May 24, 2024 19:44 |
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gently caress 2020, god damnit. First the pandemic, then murder hornets and slaughterbots, now Stephanie Meyer is writing more Twilight books.
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May 4, 2020 15:49
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