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VikingofRock
Aug 24, 2008




A programmer goes to his TL, and says "My project has grown overly complicated and interdependent. It's impossible to reason about or refactor without risking breaking everything. What should I do?"

The TL says, "There's a great new testing framework out this month. Go use it, and it will give you the confidence to simplify and refactor your code."

The programmer cries in dismay. "But TL—my project is the testing framework!"

^ a joke from personal experience

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echinopsis
Apr 13, 2004

by Fluffdaddy

Cold on a Cob posted:

i'm using quarantine to try to shake my 1 to 2 red bull per day habit

this is what watuary was for

Farmer Crack-Ass
Jan 2, 2001

this is me posting irl

President Beep posted:

do people listen to you? no one listens to me. :smith:

my cats listen to me. they don't obey, but they listen.

Kazinsal
Dec 13, 2011

Arcteryx Anarchist posted:

well its May Day so today this thread should be the coronavirus Don't WFH day crew

takin extra naps today, jabber status set to do not disturb

Methanar
Sep 26, 2013

by the sex ghost
-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Fwd: FW: You don't know Jack Schitt?
Date: Tue, 28 Apr 2020 14:36:15 -0400
From:

Subject: Fwd: You don't know Jack Schitt?


For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?


We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'

Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual
way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.

Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and owner of
Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious
coupleproduced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt,
Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a
high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt
later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with
them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe
Schitt-Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son
with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were
inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the
Happensbrothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens
nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.

He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.

Sincerely,

Crock O. Schitt

NOTE: PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS A LAUGH.

REMEMBER: IF YOU DON'T THEN YOU MIGHT POSSIBLY BE RELATED TO FULLA SCHITT=

The Fool
Oct 16, 2003


ok boomer

haveblue
Aug 15, 2005



Toilet Rascal
do you have any insights into how operating systems are like beer

Blockade
Oct 22, 2008

Imagine working in FAANG or for some startup with a bunch of bazingas instead of taking it easy and still making good money working for $bigbusiness

Sad

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Methanar posted:

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Fwd: FW: You don't know Jack Schitt?
Date: Tue, 28 Apr 2020 14:36:15 -0400
From:

Subject: Fwd: You don't know Jack Schitt?


For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?


We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'

Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual
way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.

Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and owner of
Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious
coupleproduced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt,
Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a
high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt
later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with
them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe
Schitt-Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son
with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were
inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the
Happensbrothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens
nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.

He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.

Sincerely,

Crock O. Schitt

NOTE: PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS A LAUGH.

REMEMBER: IF YOU DON'T THEN YOU MIGHT POSSIBLY BE RELATED TO FULLA SCHITT=

why

FAT32 SHAMER
Aug 16, 2012



mods please do the needful

Captain Foo
May 11, 2004

we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

FAT32 SHAMER posted:

mods please do the needful

im lazy rn

FAT32 SHAMER
Aug 16, 2012




wow RE: RE: RE: RE: ported!

FAT32 SHAMER
Aug 16, 2012



wait drat i should have used that in the quote of the bad post

i am an idiot

President Beep
Apr 30, 2009





i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)

FAT32 SHAMER posted:

mods please do the needful


it’s the thought that counts

Agile Vector
May 21, 2007

scrum bored



refleks posted:

i cant believe i have missed out on all those great experiences all these years.

i shall get a linkedin premium account stat and start responding to every recruiter email i get

i got a recruiter email recently that was obviously a blanket email because it was a role for the team im on right now that we opened up to boost ranks lol

Blockade posted:

Imagine working in FAANG or for some startup with a bunch of bazingas instead of taking it easy and still making good money working for $bigbusiness

Sad

my $bigbusiness job isnt terribly exciting but is fairly sensible and in my time here ive worked on things ranging from a few dozen users to millions, so its not too bad tbh

Agile Vector
May 21, 2007

scrum bored



sometimes its okay too because with enough employees they try to avoid liability by doing things like not shoving us all back into an open office floor plan the moment they can

Sagebrush
Feb 26, 2012

ERM... Actually I have stellar scores on the surveys, and every year students tell me that my classes are the best ones they’ve ever taken.

Methanar posted:

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Fwd: FW: You don't know Jack Schitt?
Date: Tue, 28 Apr 2020 14:36:15 -0400
From:

Subject: Fwd: You don't know Jack Schitt?


i got this exact email in 1996 from the weirdo Computer Guy down the street who sometimes came over to fix my dad's computer.

Arcteryx Anarchist
Sep 15, 2007

Fun Shoe

Blockade posted:

Imagine working in FAANG or for some startup with a bunch of bazingas instead of taking it easy and still making good money working for $bigbusiness

Sad

PRIDE@Raytheon

Kenny Logins
Jan 11, 2011

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A WHITE WHALE INTO THE PEQUOD. IT'S HELL'S HEART AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I STRIKE AT THEE ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ISHMAEL.

Methanar posted:

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Fwd: FW: You don't know Jack Schitt?
Date: Tue, 28 Apr 2020 14:36:15 -0400
From:

Subject: Fwd: You don't know Jack Schitt?


For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?


We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'

Well, thanks to genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual
way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.

Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and owner of
Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious
coupleproduced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt,
Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a
high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt
later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with
them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe
Schitt-Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son
with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were
inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the
Happensbrothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens
nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.

He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.

Sincerely,

Crock O. Schitt

NOTE: PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO ANYONE WHO NEEDS A LAUGH.

REMEMBER: IF YOU DON'T THEN YOU MIGHT POSSIBLY BE RELATED TO FULLA SCHITT=

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007



Agile Vector posted:

sometimes its okay too because with enough employees they try to avoid liability by doing things like not shoving us all back into an open office floor plan the moment they can

they totally will though

big shtick energy
May 27, 2004


DELETE CASCADE posted:

lol faang doesn't give you options that could be OTM, they are RSUs, they just straight up give you the shares and you can sell them immediately

yeah they're basically just money except with an extra step

i think at some point in the past they were useful for the company accounting-wise, but now I think they're mostly around as a tradition and because it's handy to have a bonus that automatically goes up and down with the stock price.

Arcteryx Anarchist
Sep 15, 2007

Fun Shoe
idk afaik most of those places have hard upper limits on salary so eventually you’re just getting more RSUs and that makes payroll for a bunch of high comp employees easier

Knuc U Kinte
Aug 17, 2004

refleks posted:

yeah, job stability and respect at your place of work really sucks

please someone get me a job at a faang and a worthless boss with and som deep OTM options.

that’s all well and good but don’t talk like it means you’re important.

President Beep
Apr 30, 2009





i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)
faang sounds like a baddass crime syndicate

President Beep
Apr 30, 2009





i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)
just looked that up. oh.

Jonny 290
May 5, 2005



[ASK] me about OS/2 Warp

President Beep posted:

faang sounds like a crime syndicate

correct!

H.P. Hovercraft
Jan 12, 2004

one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse
Slippery Tilde

President Beep
Apr 30, 2009





i have to have a car because otherwise i cant drive around the country solving mysteries while being doggedly pursued by federal marshals for a crime i did not commit (9/11)
do you expect me to talk, zuckerberg?

no, mr. bond, i expect you to like!

Agile Vector
May 21, 2007

scrum bored



Midjack posted:

they totally will though

my guess is, being a large company, theyll match states they occupy with a slight veneer of added protections. some of the recommendations for protective work practices were already happening before so the eventual cram already has supportive framework

gonna wait and see how they handle density, but the pre-isolation phase had teams alternating office time and rotating schedules to avoid contact and increase distance in the building

the main thing they actively were going away from was cubicles with walls, or cubicles at all, so theyll probably stop redoing the old offices and pat themselves on the back. innovation

big shtick energy
May 27, 2004


product requirements say the time for the product to perform a certain action is x. thus far the latency has been 4x but that was without tuning. after all kinds of tuning and (brittle) optimizations, we've been able to hit a latency of 2x, and there is some hope of approaching 1.5x if everything goes well and some speculative stuff turns out to work. actually reaching a latency of x is probably impossible with the hardware and software architecture decisions that have been made thus far

apparently senior management feels that x is too slow, and the actual latency requirement should be more like 0.5x to better match a competitor. and right now I can't find a way out of being right in the eye wall of this poo poo typhoon

refleks
Nov 21, 2006



Knuc U Kinte posted:

that’s all well and good but don’t talk like it means you’re important.

thank you for the tip namaste

ShadowHawk
Jun 25, 2000

CERTIFIED PRE OWNED TESLA OWNER

DuckConference posted:

product requirements say the time for the product to perform a certain action is x. thus far the latency has been 4x but that was without tuning. after all kinds of tuning and (brittle) optimizations, we've been able to hit a latency of 2x, and there is some hope of approaching 1.5x if everything goes well and some speculative stuff turns out to work. actually reaching a latency of x is probably impossible with the hardware and software architecture decisions that have been made thus far

apparently senior management feels that x is too slow, and the actual latency requirement should be more like 0.5x to better match a competitor. and right now I can't find a way out of being right in the eye wall of this poo poo typhoon
Is this a distributed system where network latency is involved?

Methanar
Sep 26, 2013

by the sex ghost

DuckConference posted:

product requirements say the time for the product to perform a certain action is x. thus far the latency has been 4x but that was without tuning. after all kinds of tuning and (brittle) optimizations, we've been able to hit a latency of 2x, and there is some hope of approaching 1.5x if everything goes well and some speculative stuff turns out to work. actually reaching a latency of x is probably impossible with the hardware and software architecture decisions that have been made thus far

apparently senior management feels that x is too slow, and the actual latency requirement should be more like 0.5x to better match a competitor. and right now I can't find a way out of being right in the eye wall of this poo poo typhoon

HFT should be illegal btw

Schadenboner
Aug 15, 2011

by Shine

I find this chain of events doubtful, children-per-family has decreased over time?

Cold on a Cob
Feb 6, 2006

i've seen so much, i'm going blind
and i'm brain dead virtually

College Slice

echinopsis posted:

this is what watuary was for

you can take my tea from my cold dead hands

Arcteryx Anarchist
Sep 15, 2007

Fun Shoe
omg I hate landscapers so much at this point

Dear Governor Newsom:

Please issue an executive order banning landscaping indefinitely but feel free to make sure to open everything else when things clear up

Arcteryx Anarchist
Sep 15, 2007

Fun Shoe
leaf blowers are a privilege not a right

big shtick energy
May 27, 2004


ShadowHawk posted:

Is this a distributed system where network latency is involved?

sort of, it's a hardware product where you mash a button in an app and then the device is supposed to wake up and do some stuff

Arcteryx Anarchist
Sep 15, 2007

Fun Shoe

DuckConference posted:

sort of, it's a hardware product where you mash a button in an app and then the device is supposed to wake up and do some stuff

hahahahahahahaha

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Arcteryx Anarchist
Sep 15, 2007

Fun Shoe
"we need instant responsiveness from our InternetOfShit device, what better communication channel than TCP/IP!"'

just murder marketing & sales

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