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Moo the cow posted:I now understand the appeal of a Zoom call with a shirt on top and underwear-only below the waist. We all enjoy those zoom calls 
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May 7, 2020 16:51
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Maybe I'm too cynical even for this thread, but I think corporate memory is measured in nanoseconds -- the moment we have a vaccine (or even an appreciable reduction in infections) is the moment the majority of employers will have us back in the pens, same as in the Before Times. I hope I'm wrong, but I don't think I am.
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May 7, 2020 16:58
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Great, summer hours are still going to happen, even though we are working from home. Knock off at lunch time on Friday* if you make up the time on other days. *I am never able to do this due to weekly meetings with a 9 hour time difference that I have to present at.
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May 7, 2020 17:16
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Trabant posted:Maybe I'm too cynical even for this thread, but I think corporate memory is measured in nanoseconds -- the moment we have a vaccine (or even an appreciable reduction in infections) is the moment the majority of employers will have us back in the pens, same as in the Before Times. Oh for sure, when everyone is vaccinated I imagine things will go more or less to how they were, but at least it seems like most places are being reasonably smart about what to do to get there.
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May 7, 2020 17:20
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Somebody in this meeting just used the word "solutioneering." fakedit: holy poo poo it's a real word. They might've even used it correctly, too. quote:Solutioneering is the term used to describe the act of working up a solution prior to really understanding the problem that solution is set to solve.
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May 7, 2020 17:48
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Hoodwinker posted:Somebody in this meeting just used the word "solutioneering." Thanks, I hate it.
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May 7, 2020 17:48
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quote:Solutioneering is the term used to describe the act of working up a solution prior to really understanding the problem that solution is set to solve. Synonyms:
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May 7, 2020 17:51
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I N N O V A T I O N
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May 7, 2020 17:52
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I'm surprised I haven't heard "solutioneering" from the CEO of my parent company yet
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May 7, 2020 17:54
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Hoodwinker posted:Somebody in this meeting just used the word "solutioneering." drat, I was hoping it was a portmanteau of "solution" and "privateer" 
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May 7, 2020 18:00
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Hoodwinker posted:Somebody in this meeting just used the word "solutioneering." Like gently caress it is. Don't like poo poo like this stand or we will all drown in made-up bullshit.  
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May 7, 2020 18:00
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Moo the cow posted:Like gently caress it is. Don't like poo poo like this stand or we will all drown in made-up bullshit.  Try harder, nerd. It's a perfect description of corporate bullshit. It stays. Your own unwillingness to accept value from things that aren't expressly allowed by the institution show that the corporate brainworms have eaten too far into your central nervous system for you to be saved. Hoodwinker fucked around with this message at 18:05 on May 7, 2020 |
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May 7, 2020 18:02
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the dictionary doesn't matter, if people use a word, it is a word
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May 7, 2020 18:05
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Yeet yourself out of this thread, poster Moo the cow.
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May 7, 2020 18:06
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Hoodwinker posted:
Did you see who the citation was?
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May 7, 2020 18:08
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Moo the cow posted:Did you see who the citation was?
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May 7, 2020 18:09
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Wall to wall meetings today as we’re working up to kicking off a new project 
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May 7, 2020 18:10
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Hoodwinker posted:If you think this embiggens your point, you're wrong. Everyone gets out of sorts when I use that one, I double down then.
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May 7, 2020 18:12
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Today I learned there are still honest-to-god prescriptivists in the wild. Thanks, corporate megathread.
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May 7, 2020 18:14
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Just got an email, all of engineering is back in the office on the 18th.  Of course the more useless people still get to work from home.
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May 7, 2020 18:19
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Trabant posted:Maybe I'm too cynical even for this thread, but I think corporate memory is measured in nanoseconds -- the moment we have a vaccine (or even an appreciable reduction in infections) is the moment the majority of employers will have us back in the pens, same as in the Before Times. My company opened the office on Monday - technically after the state's stay-at-home order was lifted, but they announced they were opening the office before it was announced the order wouldn't be extended. The CEO's a massive chud who's been downplaying the virus since February. It's currently optional but some people have definitely been pressured to go in depending on the shittiness of their managers. They laid out a bunch of rules (only specific teams on specific days, take your temperature, wear a mask when talking to anyone, maintain 6 feet distance) but from what I've heard from people who got pressured into going in that poo poo all went out the window at approximately 9:01 Monday morning.
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May 7, 2020 19:38
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Hoodwinker posted:If you think this embiggens your point, you're wrong.
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May 7, 2020 22:15
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My boss gave me yet another ASAP drop anything assignment, I pushed back about not planning more than 48 hours ahead, he took back the work and said he'd just do it himself, and I drafted an email to our boss the next level up about it. I'm debating what I even want to happen or just start applying to jobs in my growing field with lots of remote positions available.
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May 7, 2020 22:45
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lol bosses sent out an invite that was just a reference to getting back into the office and a conference link Later someone realized it was a good idea to clarify that they were not even considering having anyone back in until July and even then it would be a fraction of full staffing, all assuming there's some kind of dropoff in infections/deaths.
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May 7, 2020 22:49
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Hoodwinker posted:Somebody in this meeting just used the word "solutioneering." I'm in this definition and I don't like it
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May 8, 2020 17:47
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My company instituted a 10% paycut til december for most folks due to anticipated business slowdown from the ‘rona and then about a week later announced record fy20q4 profits and a dividend a lot larger than what was expected. People are fuckin pissed. I’m sure there is some bullshit business guy excuse for why but it’s a pretty lovely move regardless.
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May 8, 2020 19:32
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priznat posted:My company instituted a 10% paycut til december for most folks due to anticipated business slowdown from the ‘rona and then about a week later announced record fy20q4 profits and a dividend a lot larger than what was expected. People are fuckin pissed. The excuse is “gently caress you, got mine,” which really should replace “In God We Trust” as the motto of the United States.
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May 8, 2020 19:38
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priznat posted:My company instituted a 10% paycut til december for most folks due to anticipated business slowdown from the ‘rona and then about a week later announced record fy20q4 profits and a dividend a lot larger than what was expected. People are fuckin pissed. It's just an excuse so the executives can add to their bonus. At my job merit raises were postponed in April and will be "reevaluated" in June. It's bad enough they didn't give us a bonus because the other divisions sunk while we swam.
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May 8, 2020 19:44
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Cutting wages to enrich shareholders is a high priority for any for-profit business and COVID-19 gave them the excuseMidjack posted:The excuse is “gently caress you, got mine,” which really should replace “In God We Trust” as the motto of the United States.
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May 8, 2020 19:46
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priznat posted:My company instituted a 10% paycut til december for most folks due to anticipated business slowdown from the ‘rona and then about a week later announced record fy20q4 profits and a dividend a lot larger than what was expected. People are fuckin pissed. Maybe a good time to start talking to your coworkers about unionizing.
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May 8, 2020 19:52
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we got our ppp money and in an effort to make most of it as grants we restored any salary deferrals to anyone making under $100k and we are upping the 401(k) match to an absurd degree. (dollar for dollar up to 20% of salary)
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May 8, 2020 19:53
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:we got our ppp money and in an effort to make most of it as grants we restored any salary deferrals to anyone making under $100k Nice quote:and we are upping the 401(k) match to an absurd degree. (dollar for dollar up to 20% of salary) I'm so loving jealous rn
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May 8, 2020 19:54
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Thanatosian posted:Maybe a good time to start talking to your coworkers about unionizing.  this is america dummy
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May 8, 2020 19:58
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Cacafuego posted:Nice its like 1 month only on the latter but w/e they are trying to get everyone to do it. free $2 grand ill take it.
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May 8, 2020 19:59
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Thanatosian posted:Maybe a good time to start talking to your coworkers about unionizing. I’m super in for that but sadly most engineers are way too brokebrain to unionize even while being crushed under the wheel of rampant capitalism. There is a lot of pushback to HR now though and an all hands for my division that was scheduled for monday got pushed back to next friday probably so they can get their stories/excuses all ready to deploy in response to firey nerd rage.
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May 8, 2020 20:00
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priznat posted:I’m super in for that but sadly most engineers are way too brokebrain to unionize even while being crushed under the wheel of rampant capitalism. But... but... think of the shareholders!
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May 8, 2020 20:05
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Thanatosian posted:But... but... think of the shareholders! I’m almost positive the CEO will come back with some drivel about how employees own a substantial number of shares* and how this actually benefits the employees! *majority of employee owned shares being the upper level executives of course but not mentioned.
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May 8, 2020 20:07
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priznat posted:I’m super in for that but sadly most engineers are way too brokebrain to unionize even while being crushed under the wheel of rampant capitalism. Too brokebrain to unionize, yet still fiercely protective of the benefits that come with professional licensing. And if engineers unionized, they couldn't complain about and feel superior to union workers anymore. What are they, blue collar?
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May 8, 2020 20:31
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KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:its like 1 month only on the latter but w/e they are trying to get everyone to do it. free $2 grand ill take it. so how does this work? obviously the company benefits in some way by having people contribute to the 401k, otherwise they would not encourage something that just requires them to pay out more matching during a pandemic. my company does a regular 401k match and they frequently highlight it in a way that suggests it is of some value to the company for us to contribute. so i'd like to suggest this to them, but how does the company benefit?
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May 8, 2020 21:03
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More employee money available to embezzle and/or pump stocks for c-levels when they lean on whoever is running the plan.
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May 8, 2020 21:06
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