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Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



An active Instacart worker who is currently on a ventilator has been denied payment and healthcare under Instacart’s COVID-19 policy.

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Sing Along
Feb 28, 2017

by Athanatos
Since oil storage capacity is maxed out in Texas and oil continues to be produced, the Texas Railroad Commission (which oversees oil extraction in Texas) has approved the storage of oil in caves and "other geological formations." While discussing the decision, one of the commissioners said “I don’t want to hear a story in three months how we put oil in some sort of cave somewhere and ended up having groundwater pollution, but sounds like you’re on top of it.”

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



A secret algorithm is deciding who will die in america.

Dreylad
Jun 19, 2001

Willie Tomg posted:

make this the beginning of the OP please



done

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



One worker who died had taken Tylenol before entering the plant to lower her temperature enough to pass the screening, afraid that missing work would mean forgoing a bonus.

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



AT&T's CEO is retiring with a $274,000 monthly paycheck for life.

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



Political consultant suggests rallying Dems with giant, Fortnite-style holographic Biden.

is pepsi ok
Oct 23, 2002

Billionaire Elon Musk sent his workers back into his factories despite being strictly prohibited from doing so by public health officials. He requested that he be arrested in place of any workers.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
Due to low fuel prices, cargo ships are rounding the Cape of Good Hope in greater numbers than they have since the Suez Canal reopened in 1975.

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



Cruise bookings jump 600% after Carnival announces plans to resume sailings.

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



An armed militia helped a Michigan barbershop open, a coronavirus defiance that puts Republican lawmakers in a bind.

Alobar
Jun 21, 2011

Are you proud of me?

Are you proud of what I do?

I'll try to be a better man than the one that you knew.
i phonebank for jess scarane and you can too if you sign up


https://www.jessfordelaware.com/volunteer

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



A factory in Colombia is making cardboard hospital beds that can be turned into a coffin if the patient dies.

Happy Thread
Jul 10, 2005

by Fluffdaddy
Plaster Town Cop
Pikachu holds an AR-15 at a demonstration against @GovWhitmer's executive orders.

Michigan Cancels Legislative Session to Avoid Armed Protesters.

Alobar
Jun 21, 2011

Are you proud of me?

Are you proud of what I do?

I'll try to be a better man than the one that you knew.
i was paid absolutely nothing to take bong hits all day and make phone calls for jessica scarane


https://www.jessfordelaware.com/volunteer



e: worth it

Feldegast42
Oct 29, 2011

COMMENCE THE RITE OF SHITPOSTING

https://twitter.com/alexqarbuckle/status/1261296253880741889

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1261187547931176962

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde
People are gargling with antiseptics, drinking cow urine and taking pills to avoid COVID-19.

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



Joe Paterno’s son is now a blogger for the Saudi Arabian government. Jay Paterno has found new work.

VectorSigma
Jan 20, 2004

Transform
and
Freak Out



this is how i read this thread:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kvgsZ01AJhI

Tulip
Jun 3, 2008

yeah thats pretty good


Hobby Lobby is again facing civil asset forfeiture over its collection of looted Sumerian religious writings.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Tulip posted:

Hobby Lobby is again facing civil asset forfeiture over its collection of looted Sumerian religious writings.

The fact that it's not criminal asset forfeiture is bad.

The fact that it's happening to hobby lobby is good

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



Trump said he has been taking hydroxychloroquine and a zinc supplement daily "for about a week and a half now." "I started taking it, because I think it's good," Trump said. "I've heard a lot of good stories."

Ogantai
Apr 21, 2003

Full of bologna

Koishi Komeiji posted:

Trump said he has been taking hydroxychloroquine and a zinc supplement daily "for about a week and a half now." "I started taking it, because I think it's good," Trump said. "I've heard a lot of good stories."

Prolonged use of hydroxychloroquine can cause lethal heart arrhythmia.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Ogantai posted:

Prolonged use of hydroxychloroquine can cause lethal heart arrhythmia.

So can a diet of nothing but McDonald's. Hasn't brought him down yet

christmas boots
Oct 15, 2012

To these sing-alongs 🎤of siren 🧜🏻‍♀️songs
To oohs😮 to ahhs😱 to 👏big👏applause👏
With all of my 😡anger I scream🤬 and shout📢
🇺🇸America🦅, I love you 🥰but you're freaking 💦me 😳out
Biscuit Hider

ikanreed posted:

So can a diet of nothing but McDonald's. Hasn't brought him down yet

We're rapidly approaching a scenario where both presidential candidates may die before election day

Orange Devil
Oct 1, 2010

Wullie's reign cannae smother the flames o' equality!

christmas boots posted:

We're rapidly approaching a scenario where both presidential candidates may die before election day

Inshallah

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



He drove more than 600 miles for a haircut. He’s not alone.

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



Restaurants use mannequins and blow-up dolls to help with social distancing. Servers will be instructed to pour them wine, and to ask them about their evening.

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006
Each day before April 16, Andrew Cuomo's government asked nursing homes how much hand sanitizer they had, but not how many people died in their facilities. When Joe Biden dies, he's the leading light of the Democratic party.

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006
One question asked nursing homes to report how many Covid-19 residents died “outside your facility,’’ presumably in hospitals, but the next sentence said the numbers should not include “anyone who was NOT physically at your facility at the time of death.’’

System Metternich
Feb 28, 2010

But what did he mean by that?

VW received strong criticism after releasing an Instagram ad that featured a giant white hand forcibly shoving a black man into a store labelled „petit colon“ while the N-word appears on screen

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
The harpist was paid for by State Department emergency funds.

https://twitter.com/ericuman/status/1262952129557389316

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

darkwasthenight posted:

A 19 year old who runs a Taylor Swift stan account went to prison for refusing to serve with the IDF and still managed to post regular Tay updates via paper notes smuggled out from prison by their friends.

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



Frank Scurlock said it was “absolutely” worth reopening businesses at the risk of hundreds of further deaths.

Scurlock, a former candidate for mayor in New Orleans and heir to an inflatable bounce house fortune, was arrested in 2017 for allegedly masturbating in the backseat of an Uber in California, for which he pled no contest in 2018, according to a report in the Times-Picayune.

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde
well I read the thread like this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ISuBvNb4HE&t=11s

Goon Boots
Feb 2, 2020


System Metternich posted:

VW received strong criticism after releasing an Instagram ad that featured a giant white hand forcibly shoving a black man into a store labelled „petit colon“ while the N-word appears on screen

:wtc:

Outside of a local gym, that was closed due to the Coronavirus, a group of protestors calling for Florida leaders to reopen gyms began doing push-ups and squats. One demonstrator put an American flag in his mouth and dropped down to the sidewalk to do push-ups.

Feldegast42
Oct 29, 2011

COMMENCE THE RITE OF SHITPOSTING

https://twitter.com/business/status/1264837379652714496

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



Joseph Robinette Biden sharted during a live broadcast with governor Tom Wolf of Pennsylvania.

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Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
Ford has designed a new heated software solution that can help sanitize police vehicles, neutralizing the coronavirus.

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