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Dreylad
Jun 19, 2001


An image that sums up some of the most important news stories of 2020 so far.

With 0% of results reported for the Iowa Democratic Primary, Pete Buttgieg declared victory.

2019 thread

Willie Tomg posted:

A Belgian-Israeli billionaire diamond trader known for an extravagant lifestyle died during his penis enlargement surgery.

Taintrunner posted:

The website that is driving disaffected young white male youths to commit mass shootings is funded by a pig farmer selling audio recordings of his sex tourism escapades through the website that is owned by the richest man in the world.

Jose posted:

A US congressperson said the biggest innovation in recent times was Bin Laden flying 2 planes into the world trade centre

Willie Tomg posted:

The Straight Pride Parade has kicked off with an anime Sargon of Akkad body pillow

Willie Tomg posted:

Having a penis thrust in your face at a drunken dorm party may seem like harmless fun, but when Bret Kavanaugh did it to her, Deborah Ramirez says it confirmed that she didn't belong at Yale in the first place.

Ogantai posted:

The president's latest appointment to the Federal Education Board is a man who writes books about the Illuminati under the penname 'Magnus Incognito'.

Willie Tomg posted:

Boris Johnson hid in a fridge to escape journalists the day before the election.

Dreylad has issued a correction as of 19:09 on May 8, 2020

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sand maggot
Jan 3, 2020

Fact:
A network of oligarchs and letter agency ghouls literally tried to steal the 2020 Iowa Caucus from Bernie.

Commentary:
Unfortunately for them, the General Secretary and the Revolutionary Vanguard had the ground game on lockdown. We’re coming for all of you motherfuckers.

Every. Last. loving. One. Of. You. :berninator:

paul_soccer12
Jan 5, 2020

by Fluffdaddy
Bernie Sanders was elected President of USA in November 2020

cda
Jan 2, 2010

by Hand Knit
Memers involved with Meme 2020 include: @MyTherapistSays, @WhitePeopleHumor, @TheFunnyIntrovert, @KaleSalad, @Sonny5ideUp, @Tank.Sinatra, @ShitheadSteve, @adam.the.creator, @moistbudda, @MrsDowJones, @TrashCanPaul, @cohmedy, @NeatDad, @FourTwenty, @GolfersDoingThings, @DrGrayFang, @MiddleClassFancy and @DoYouEvenLift. Together, the collective has an audience of more than 60 million followers.

V. Illych L.
Apr 11, 2008

ASK ME ABOUT LUMBER

the northern ireland secretary was sacked for "blindsiding" the PM by doing his job

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



1982 Subaru Brat
Feb 2, 2007

by Athanatos
The phone app that reported caucus results to the Iowa Democratic Party was made by Shadow Inc., which in turn is funded by ACRONYM, whose CEO had a big birthday party a few days prior with the head of the Iowa Democratic Party. The app crashed almost immediately.

1982 Subaru Brat
Feb 2, 2007

by Athanatos
Some people will call you a useful idiot for sexism, oligarchy and racism unless you would help elect to the Presidency a man with 40 sexual harassment suits, 60 billion dollars that he spends lavishly on political networking, and effectively suspended the Fourth Amendment for all black men in the nation's biggest city for several years.

1982 Subaru Brat has issued a correction as of 10:49 on Feb 17, 2020

Bro Dad
Mar 26, 2010


ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!
Reddit is threatening to ban users for upvoting posts that say cops steal more each year than burglers

White Rock
Jul 14, 2007
Creativity flows in the bored and the angry!

ikanreed posted:

Reddit is threatening to ban users for upvoting posts that say cops steal more each year than burglers

Link?

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Man I don't actually visit Reddit. It was posted in the gbs Reddit thread

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
Reddit administrators say they will now be considering bans for people who vote in “quarantined” subreddits.

Most quarantined subreddits are shitholes like /r/The_Donald.

There are a few sacrifices to the gods of Both Sides like /r/ChapoTrapHouse.

That’s what’s happening. CTH has posts and comments to the effect of “cops steal more each year than burglars”. Redditors now upvote those at their peril.

This is the actual statement:

quote:

Users who consistently upvote policy-breaking content within quarantined communities will receive automated warnings, followed by further consequences like a temporary or permanent suspension. We hope this will encourage healthier behavior across these communities.

https://www.reddit.com/r/announcements/comments/f8y9nx/spring_forward_into_reddits_2019_transparency/?sort=controversial



These are comments directly removed by the paid Reddit administrators because they see something wrong with them.

Here’s the thread from six months ago when the admins went for CTH’s hyoid. Lots of speculation, no admin response.

Platystemon has issued a correction as of 00:27 on Feb 27, 2020

RealityWarCriminal
Aug 10, 2016

:o:
President Xi Jinping is the one communist Sanders unambiguously identifies as a dictator; Bloomberg thinks Xi reports to the Politburo on the communist org chart.

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



I’ve read several Pete/Chasten fanfics over the last couple of weeks, and save for one particularly intense Pete/Chasten/Beto O’Rourke fetish fic I stumbled upon, they are overwhelmingly vanilla, with an emphasis on how much the two men love and adore one another.

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

Koishi Komeiji posted:

I’ve read several Pete/Chasten fanfics over the last couple of weeks, and save for one particularly intense Pete/Chasten/Beto O’Rourke fetish fic I stumbled upon, they are overwhelmingly vanilla, with an emphasis on how much the two men love and adore one another.

there is a non-zero chance these are plants by buttigieg's digital marketing strategists

RealityWarCriminal
Aug 10, 2016

:o:
Trump suddenly pivoted to his toilet rant after addressing a deadly shooting at a Naval base in Pensacola, Florida.

Helsing
Aug 23, 2003

DON'T POST IN THE ELECTION THREAD UNLESS YOU :love::love::love: JOE BIDEN
Hillary Clinton is starting a podcast.

Dr Pepper
Feb 4, 2012

Don't like it? well...

Mike Pence was put in charge of the response to the Coronavirus because President Donald Trump didnt think he was doing anything.

Big Mad Drongo
Nov 10, 2006

A followup to that:

https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/1233475545075200000

RealityWarCriminal
Aug 10, 2016

:o:
In 2013, the Supreme Court struck down the “pre-clearance” requirement, saying it was no longer necessary, because the discrimination that used to occur in voting laws no longer occurred.

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006
Steve Wozniak admitted either he or his wife were patient zero for COVID-19 in the USA, and in so doing unlocked the Tie Tuesday sticker.

dex_sda
Oct 11, 2012


Willie Tomg posted:

Steve Wozniak admitted either he or his wife were patient zero for COVID-19 in the USA, and in so doing unlocked the Tie Tuesday sticker.

lmfao

Filthy Hans
Jun 27, 2008

by Fluffdaddy

(and can't post for 10 years!)

Willie Tomg posted:

Steve Wozniak admitted either he or his wife were patient zero for COVID-19 in the USA, and in so doing unlocked the Tie Tuesday sticker.

RealityWarCriminal
Aug 10, 2016

:o:
Stories about Trump’s coronavirus fears have spread through the White House. Last week Trump told aides he’s afraid journalists will try to purposefully contract coronavirus to give it to him on Air Force One, a person close to the administration told me. The source also said Trump has asked the Secret Service to set up a screening program and bar anyone who has a cough from the White House grounds. “He’s definitely melting down over this,” the source said.

RealityWarCriminal
Aug 10, 2016

:o:
Swenson previously told the American-Statesman that SXSW didn’t have insurance coverage for cancellations triggered by “bacterial infections, communicable diseases, viruses and pandemics,” and he told the Wall Street Journal that the coverage it does have “will likely not cover” the cancellation.

Fallen Hamprince
Nov 12, 2016

The President of EPIC-MRA is Mr. Bernie Porn.

Halser
Aug 24, 2016
The website also published several stories about a fictionalized race war. A two-hour audiobook he described as 'The Turner Diaries meet The Simpsons' is set in the Simpsons Universe in which Moe purifies Springfield for the white race.

Willie Tomg
Feb 2, 2006
Sean Hannity, dismissing criticism Trump’s handling of coronavirus, says “Can I be philosophical here? We're all dying”

V. Illych L.
Apr 11, 2008

ASK ME ABOUT LUMBER

donald trump, in an effort to stem the spread of covid-19, announced the cancellation of all trade and travel between the USA and the EU

Neurophage
Oct 11, 2012
Queensland premier Annastacia Palaszczuk says anyone who has been in close contact with Tom Hanks will need to self-isolate and quarantine.

Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008

by Athanatos

(and can't post for 7 days!)

Donald Trump told the nation in a public address that all Health Insurance companies had agreed to waive all costs of testing and treatment of coronavirus.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

V. Illych L. posted:

donald trump, in an effort to stem the spread of covid-19, announced the cancellation of all trade and travel between the USA and the EU

But took no domestic measures even though the disease is rapidly spreading inside the country

Helsing
Aug 23, 2003

DON'T POST IN THE ELECTION THREAD UNLESS YOU :love::love::love: JOE BIDEN
Faced with a rapidly spreading global pandemic the American Center for Disease Control stop publishing information on how many people it was testing for the disease.

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Helsing posted:

Faced with a rapidly spreading global pandemic the American Center for Disease Control stop publishing information on how many people it was testing for the disease.

Well they say that sunlight is the best disinfectant, and they're just saving all the sunlight for Corona

really queer Christmas
Apr 22, 2014

https://twitter.com/ihatejoelkim/status/1238152603495612416

HerraS
Apr 15, 2012

Looking professional when committing genocide is essential. This is mostly achieved by using a beret.

Olive drab colour ensures the genocider will remain hidden from his prey until it's too late for them to do anything.



The United States government just casually dumped one and a half trillion dollars into falling stock markets but anyone who even dares to suggest universal healthcare is bombarded with questions on how to pay for it.

Koishi Komeiji
Mar 30, 2003



HerraS posted:

The United States government just casually dumped one and a half trillion dollars into falling stock markets but anyone who even dares to suggest universal healthcare is bombarded with questions on how to pay for it.

All that money and all it did was bump the market up for about 20 minutes. That money is long gone and the markets are still tanking. :cawg:

Nix Panicus
Feb 25, 2007

None of those are plain, factual and uninflected sentences.

The Federal Reserved promised to pump $1,500,000,000,000 into the banking system and it rallied the market for 15 minutes, before ultimately closing down 2,352 points - the largest one day point drop in history.

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Atrocious Joe
Sep 2, 2011

Despite a shortage of COVID-19 test kits in the US, the Utah Jazz tested 58 members of their organization overnight for the disease.

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