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twoday
May 4, 2005



C-SPAM Times best-selling author

MysteriousStranger posted:

oh gently caress yeah it is.

so I had a hemorrhoid. didn't start off bad but ended up the size of a small grape (external) and as it grew the pain got insane. was purple like a grape as well from the blood clot and the skin was stretch so thin you could see everything. so infected it burned to the touch as well. i'd seen the doctor at the start and they had told me it would go away and given me creams and bath instructions, didn't do poo poo. so after week I gave up and decided to lance the fucker. i've pierced my own ears before, given myself stitches, and hot metal cauterized wounds before all sans any sort of pain killer so should be easy right? WRONG! any attempt to lance the fucker resulted in horrific pain and I couldn't finish it, plus trying to aim down there is hard, you can see it and no amount of mirror acrobatics helped. I flailed about for an hour or so and went to work.

Well midway through the day the pain just stopped, I didn't fell anything, couldn't tell just went away. Then there was this horrid smell and my rear end was wet, put my hand on my pants and those were wet as well. I damaged it enough it just blew up. Said I had to go for personal reasons and went home. Dr. said it was fine and that often happens.

so yeah, hemorrhoid bad

aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

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Zberan Madowinty
Dec 7, 2016

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

lol a guy who would post that the virus is liberal bullshit on every single one of a nurse friends posts on Facebook’s wife just had to go to the hospital for covid and he is screaming about calling the police for harassment because we screenshotted his now deleted posts about how anyone who gets this is weak and survival of the fittest and posted them in response to his asking for prayers.

I'm 100% unironically in support of denying that guy a ventilator if it gets to that stage, even if there's not a shortage.

Impkins Patootie
Apr 20, 2017





TJ Maxx just buys the rights to a brand name to be used on generic apparrel produced for the store under low bid contract he runs a dirty operation that preys on the style conscious working class

ArmedZombie
Jun 6, 2004

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

lol a guy who would post that the virus is liberal bullshit on every single one of a nurse friends posts on Facebook’s wife just had to go to the hospital for covid and he is screaming about calling the police for harassment because we screenshotted his now deleted posts about how anyone who gets this is weak and survival of the fittest and posted them in response to his asking for prayers.

tell him to call the police so they can laugh at him

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud
Apr 7, 2003


shovelbum posted:

A simple XYZ gantry machine with camera and a hot wire probe with a toilet seat on top of it and you could've remote controlled your way to freedom in an instant

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hruk1F6ahQQ

this but for hemorrhoids

Pf. Hikikomoriarty
Feb 15, 2003

RO YNSHO


Slippery Tilde

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

lol a guy who would post that the virus is liberal bullshit on every single one of a nurse friends posts on Facebook’s wife just had to go to the hospital for covid and he is screaming about calling the police for harassment because we screenshotted his now deleted posts about how anyone who gets this is weak and survival of the fittest and posted them in response to his asking for prayers.

hello police? yes someone was mean to me on facebook

Siljmonster
Dec 16, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

lol a guy who would post that the virus is liberal bullshit on every single one of a nurse friends posts on Facebook’s wife just had to go to the hospital for covid and he is screaming about calling the police for harassment because we screenshotted his now deleted posts about how anyone who gets this is weak and survival of the fittest and posted them in response to his asking for prayers.

C'mon gotta deliver some screenshots

my bony fealty
Oct 1, 2008

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

lol a guy who would post that the virus is liberal bullshit on every single one of a nurse friends posts on Facebook’s wife just had to go to the hospital for covid and he is screaming about calling the police for harassment because we screenshotted his now deleted posts about how anyone who gets this is weak and survival of the fittest and posted them in response to his asking for prayers.

its your absolute duty as a poster to find a way to play the pallbearer meme music to this guy wherever he goes. call his phone, pipe it into his hospital room, make it haunt him everywhere.

Marx Headroom
May 10, 2007

AT LAST! A show with nonono commercials!
Fallen Rib

MysteriousStranger posted:

that's sort of like saying liberal republicans are mostly fine because.

your dialectic sucks dude
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.buzzfeednews.com/amphtml/annehelenpetersen/jubilee-baptist-church-debt-forgiveness-lgbtq-socialism

quote:

Thornton also drew up plans for mutual aid teams, where groups of four or five would work to pay off each other’s debt, round-robin style.

That was only the beginning of what’s planned for the liberation-oriented components of the church. They want to partner with organizations like End Poverty Durham, with serious plans for reparations. They’ll be a presence at Pride. They’ll show up for events, rallies, and marches — for Black Lives Matter, for refugees, for immigrants. When a member’s union goes on strike, they’ll show up there too. Instead of adult Sunday school, there’ll be Workers Anonymous meetings, where people can talk frankly about their struggles, and a class on gender inclusion and identity.

Burn Zone
May 22, 2004



https://twitter.com/jessemckinley/status/1261322063513518080

jettisonedstuff
Apr 9, 2006

They skipped the most entertaining part: him eating the whole thing in one sitting.

Rauros
Aug 25, 2004

wanna go grub thumping?

true hardships

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/zoom-parties-virtual-gatherings_n_5ebd7063c5b635d6a6d160fc

Let’s Just Admit That A Zoom Party Isn’t Really A Party

quote:

Virtual parties strip away the best parts of the form. There is no room for mingling or side conversations or lingering eye contact that could become more. You can’t pop in and out unnoticed, or move seamlessly on from a conversation that has run its course over to another small group in which you might fare better. Even music operates on a lag. Without the opportunity for happy chaos, a “party” begins to resemble a large virtual classroom with a rotating set of lecturers. It becomes just another task, one that we presumably have endless time for now that plans are a thing of the past, but that feels oppressive nonetheless.

Mr Hootington
Jul 24, 2008

I'M HAVING A HOOT EATING CORNETTE THE LONG WAY
Just loving open up already. Everyone knows this is just for show now. Take off the masks and just go do poo poo.nobody gives a poo poo anymore.

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018

Siljmonster posted:

C'mon gotta deliver some screenshots

his goddamn profile is public and I found it with limited searching from the text of the post it sucks rear end, I’m sure she will be fine and they will learn nothing

Mr Hootington
Jul 24, 2008

I'M HAVING A HOOT EATING CORNETTE THE LONG WAY
Only 100k dead in 2 months. This is acceptable.

But Rocks Hurt Head
Jun 30, 2003

by Hand Knit
Pillbug
xpost from the number thread

Renaissance Spam
Jun 5, 2010

Can it wait a for a bit? I'm in the middle of some *gyrations*


twoday posted:

aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

You should write that on the page opposite the space force hymn.

Declan MacManus
Sep 1, 2011

damn i'm really in this bitch

Impkins Patootie posted:

steptember gurls

JAY ZERO SUM GAME
Oct 18, 2005

Walter.
I know you know how to do this.
Get up.


how the gently caress do you enforce 50% occupancy of the beaches

like what’s 100% occupancy??? I’ve never heard of the beaches being closed because they were ‘full.’

lol

indigi
Jul 20, 2004

how can we not talk about family
when family's all that we got?

But Rocks Hurt Head posted:

xpost from the number thread

DM me some antibodies

JAY ZERO SUM GAME
Oct 18, 2005

Walter.
I know you know how to do this.
Get up.


I’m sure he just means that the parking lots are 50% closed

Apraxin
Feb 22, 2006

General-Admiral
https://twitter.com/lukeharding1968/status/1261300303145680897

quote:

In mid-March Paul Garner developed what he thought was a “bit of a cough”. A professor of infectious diseases, Garner was discussing the new coronavirus with David Nabarro, the UK’s special envoy on the pandemic. At the end of the Zoom call, Nabarro advised Garner to go home immediately and to self-isolate. Garner did. He felt no more than a “little bit off”.

Days later, he found himself fighting a raging infection. It’s one he likens to being “abused by somebody” or clubbed over the head with a cricket bat. “The symptoms were weird as hell,” he says. They included loss of smell, heaviness, malaise, tight chest and racing heart. At one point Garner thought he was about to die. He tried to Google “fulminating myocarditis” but was too unwell to navigate the screen.

Garner refers to himself wryly as a member of the “Boris Johnson herd immunity group”. This is the cluster of patients who contracted Covid-19 in the 12 days before the UK finally locked down. He assumed his illness would swiftly pass. Instead it went on and on – a rollercoaster of ill health, extreme emotions and utter exhaustion, as he put it in a blog last week for the British Medical Journal.

There is growing evidence that the virus causes a far greater array of symptoms than was previously understood. And that its effects can be agonisingly prolonged: in Garner’s case for more than seven weeks. The professor at the Liverpool School of Tropical Medicine says his experience of Covid-19 featured a new and disturbing symptom every day, akin to an “advent calendar”.

He had a muggy head, upset stomach, tinnitus, pins and needles, breathlessness, dizziness and arthritis in the hands. Each time Garner thought he was getting better the illness roared back. It was a sort of virus snakes and ladders. “It’s deeply frustrating. A lot of people start doubting themselves,” he says. “Their partners wonder if there is something psychologically wrong with them.”

According to the latest research, about one in 20 Covid patients experience long-term on-off symptoms. It’s unclear whether long-term means two months, or three or longer. The best parallel is dengue fever, Garner suggests – a “ghastly” viral infection of the lymph nodes which he also contracted. “Dengue comes and goes. It’s like driving around with a handbrake on for six to nine months.”
very cool!

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018
I do have a couple I can share from another idiot though lol.



hobbesmaster
Jan 28, 2008

JAY ZERO SUM GAME posted:

how the gently caress do you enforce 50% occupancy of the beaches

like what’s 100% occupancy??? I’ve never heard of the beaches being closed because they were ‘full.’

lol

beaches can be closed due to being "full" but its such a high number than 50% probably is probably too dense

Nonsense
Jan 26, 2007


fake news cuomo people have been associating in whatever numbers as they've pleased for a couple weeks now

gregday
May 23, 2003

https://twitter.com/sarahlazare/status/1261325651019272193

SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017


lol just found out my mom got tested for covid, not because she suspects she has it, but because my sister has warned my mom that if she doesn't come to see the newborn baby within the next 2-3 weeks, she won't get to see the baby until he's 1 year old. my sister is (independently, I don't talk about this with her) convinced that there's going to be a disastrous second wave after the country reopens.

so now my mom's waiting on the results and is going to go see her grandchild once she's confirmed negative

I don't think I'll tell them about the false negatives :ohdear: they've been isolating very well so far and that'll just worry them needlessly

SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017


Nonsense posted:

fake news cuomo people have been associating in whatever numbers as they've pleased for a couple weeks now

I went to a beach in Tampa back in December and it was a loving miserable experience, just completely jam-packed with people and cars. and then one of the locals told me that it was a slow day for the holidays

Google Butt
Oct 4, 2005

Xenology is an unnatural mixture of science fiction and formal logic. At its core is a flawed assumption...

that an alien race would be psychologically human.

SKULL.GIF posted:

lol just found out my mom got tested for covid, not because she suspects she has it, but because my sister has warned my mom that if she doesn't come to see the newborn baby within the next 2-3 weeks, she won't get to see the baby until he's 1 year old. my sister is (independently, I don't talk about this with her) convinced that there's going to be a disastrous second wave after the country reopens.

so now my mom's waiting on the results and is going to go see her grandchild once she's confirmed negative

I don't think I'll tell them about the false negatives :ohdear: they've been isolating very well so far and that'll just worry them needlessly

just make your peace with it. you might just confirm that she has her will in order and whatnot

But Rocks Hurt Head
Jun 30, 2003

by Hand Knit
Pillbug
how did your mom get a test without symptoms??

seattle plague rat
Apr 6, 2020

indigi posted:

DM me some antibodies

i hav been medically cleared 2 send u large amounts of my blood in the mail

but th catch is i could only find a verterinarian to sign off, so u will need to take everything 2 petsmart for transfusion

u hav 2 tell them its a performance enchancing tiger plasma infusion but theu r usually down

if ur in send me $500 or btc 15y2919opcTbxPqfZLsunwkWgibFrRdzGf thx

Admiral Ray
May 17, 2014

Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy

But Rocks Hurt Head posted:

xpost from the number thread

lol

gonna be a lot of scams

brugroffil
Nov 30, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 45 hours!

But Rocks Hurt Head posted:

how did your mom get a test without symptoms??

anyone who wants a test can get a test duh

NofrikinfuN
Apr 23, 2009


MysteriousStranger posted:

oh gently caress yeah it is.

so I had a hemorrhoid. didn't start off bad but ended up the size of a small grape (external) and as it grew the pain got insane. was purple like a grape as well from the blood clot and the skin was stretch so thin you could see everything. so infected it burned to the touch as well. i'd seen the doctor at the start and they had told me it would go away and given me creams and bath instructions, didn't do poo poo. so after week I gave up and decided to lance the fucker. i've pierced my own ears before, given myself stitches, and hot metal cauterized wounds before all sans any sort of pain killer so should be easy right? WRONG! any attempt to lance the fucker resulted in horrific pain and I couldn't finish it, plus trying to aim down there is hard, you can see it and no amount of mirror acrobatics helped. I flailed about for an hour or so and went to work.

Well midway through the day the pain just stopped, I didn't fell anything, couldn't tell just went away. Then there was this horrid smell and my rear end was wet, put my hand on my pants and those were wet as well. I damaged it enough it just blew up. Said I had to go for personal reasons and went home. Dr. said it was fine and that often happens.

so yeah, hemorrhoid bad

:suspense:

Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010

But Rocks Hurt Head posted:

xpost from the number thread

Is the cure death?
Because I don't think that's in the spirit of the word "cure"

RandomBlue
Dec 30, 2012

hay guys!


Biscuit Hider

ArmZ posted:

just play online at that point wth

They made it a huge PITA to get any money into or out of online gambling sites for US players years ago. I'm surprised the gaming industry hasn't succeeded in using the pandemic to get online gambling legalized in the US.

MysteriousStranger
Mar 3, 2016
My "vacation" is a euphemism for war tourism in Ukraine for some "bloody work" to escape my boring techie job and family.

Ask me about my warcrimes.

SKULL.GIF posted:

lol just found out my mom got tested for covid, not because she suspects she has it, but because my sister has warned my mom that if she doesn't come to see the newborn baby within the next 2-3 weeks, she won't get to see the baby until he's 1 year old. my sister is (independently, I don't talk about this with her) convinced that there's going to be a disastrous second wave after the country reopens.

so now my mom's waiting on the results and is going to go see her grandchild once she's confirmed negative

I don't think I'll tell them about the false negatives :ohdear: they've been isolating very well so far and that'll just worry them needlessly

tell them to wait?

I've got a parent in late 90's and my sister has a kid and it sucks but none of us are meeting. it's just not worth the risk.

mastershakeman
Oct 28, 2008

by vyelkin

RandomBlue posted:

They made it a huge PITA to get any money into or out of online gambling sites for US players years ago. I'm surprised the gaming industry hasn't succeeded in using the pandemic to get online gambling legalized in the US.

One funny thing is Illinois massively expanded gambling this year, and had online sports wagering ready to go. Lots of budget holes plugged with the gambling taxes

The online sportsbooks debuted the day before Rudy gobert tested positive for covid

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

UnknownTarget posted:

My favorite thing about the freedoms/rights argument is that in the constitution it says you have the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. While you might make the argument that closing down businesses violates the last, going around without a mask violates other's right to the first.

the us constitution does not say that

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Shageletic
Jul 25, 2007

Cao Ni Ma posted:

If medieval society had the same medical knowledge we do know they would absolutely 100% get their poo poo together significantly faster than us.

Theres a review of historical plague literature in the New York Times Mag I read, and it mentioned chuds in 1687 grousing about govt outreach while florence merchants worried about feeding people in quarantines would create moral hazard

Every plague gets mestasized by concerns aboit money and the idiot thoughts of too powerful ppl.

Nothing changes

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