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Germany gave us the bananaweizen, which is a cocktail of wheat beer and banana juice. It's delicious on a hot day.
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May 16, 2020 13:43
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Und so! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKGSgPSZ-4k
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May 16, 2020 13:45
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Tip posted:It's "Intim Report", but I should probably just tell the full story. wow congrats on one of the best owns and posts ever
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May 16, 2020 13:51
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I went on a bender in austria and bought a set of lederhosen and was running around like a loving dumb rear end in a top hat and not only did I not get beat up, people seemed pretty good natured and fun
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May 16, 2020 13:56
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Clearly OP has never seen a german porn.
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May 16, 2020 14:05
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SidneyIsTheKiller posted:
the gently caress are you eating if the toilet has to be scrubbed after every use?
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May 16, 2020 14:13
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gimme the GOD drat candy posted:this is a racist thread but your argument against it is someone whose job consists of smiling at drunks. proof that as joyless some people think Germans are, they can't hold a candle against the average 2020 goon when it comes to being joyless sadsacks
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May 16, 2020 14:16
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UnfurledSails posted:proof that as joyless some people think Germans are, they can't hold a candle against the average 2020 goon when it comes to being joyless sadsacks
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May 16, 2020 14:17
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Nice, do the stinking Prussians next op
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May 16, 2020 14:18
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German are really into poo poo when they sex. Could be why scat porn immigrated to South America with the Nazis.
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May 16, 2020 14:21
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Frank Dillinger posted:Germans aren’t joyless, they’re just dorkier on average than normal people. The most accurate post
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May 16, 2020 14:23
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Motherfucker posted:the common thread is they don't gently caress you in either the real world or your dumb fantasy one you made up just now. Yeah but it’s not why you think (micropenis), it’s because I’m a masculinist. 
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May 16, 2020 14:25
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Smiling Mandrill posted:German are really into poo poo when they sex. Could be why scat porn immigrated to South America with the Nazis. tbh i thought that was our fault
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May 16, 2020 14:28
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Page four aint nobody even said the word Pretzel.
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May 16, 2020 14:36
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The_Continental posted:Page four aint nobody even said the word Pretzel. sir the potato chip thread is that way
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May 16, 2020 14:39
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I think for a lot of foreigners but especially North Americans there’s a tendency to view Germans as cold and mean but when you view it through the other side of “North Americans tend to be obnoxious fucks who think they can do whatever they want and everyone else is wrong, they need to be told to stop acting like a jackass politely” it makes a lot more sense and it’s actually everyone else that is rude and obnoxious. hth op 🙂
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May 16, 2020 14:49
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reminder: somebody ITT laughed at a person's hobby and then found it noteworthy to mention that as a 'personality trait' that the person found that to be a negative response.
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May 16, 2020 14:54
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i wonder how many unplayed games are in that goons steam collection
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May 16, 2020 14:55
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Smiling Mandrill posted:German are really into poo poo when they sex. Could be why scat porn immigrated to South America with the Nazis. You mean John McAffee?
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May 16, 2020 15:03
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once i lived in a rooming house with a german named Till who ate nothing but jasmine rice and got mad when my girlfriend and I were awake past 10 PM
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May 16, 2020 15:07
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The Walrus posted:once i lived in a rooming house with a german named Till who ate nothing but jasmine rice and got mad when my girlfriend and I were awake past 10 PM Rammstein documentary looking good
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May 16, 2020 15:10
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the corona quid posted:I think for a lot of foreigners but especially North Americans there’s a tendency to view Germans as cold and mean but when you view it through the other side of “North Americans tend to be obnoxious fucks who think they can do whatever they want and everyone else is wrong, they need to be told to stop acting like a jackass politely” it makes a lot more sense and it’s actually everyone else that is rude and obnoxious. hth op 🙂 Sorry Americans and Canadians like to be friendly and have a good time with friends and strangers. Maybe if Europeans let their guard down and talked to their fellow man once in a while, the continent wouldn't have been run by monarchies and dictators for the better part of the last two centuries.
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May 16, 2020 15:14
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The Walrus posted:once i lived in a rooming house with a german named Till who ate nothing but jasmine rice and got mad when my girlfriend and I were awake past 10 PM I'm a German named Till and I once lived in a rooming house with an American who ate all my food except my rice (they thought rice was gay) and blasted Wheatus every night starting at 10 PM. They owned a pot-bellied pig named Girlfriend
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May 16, 2020 15:17
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Icochet posted:I'm a German named Till and I once lived in a rooming house with an American who ate all my food except my rice (they thought rice was gay) and blasted Wheatus every night starting at 10 PM. They owned a pot-bellied pig named Girlfriend 
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May 16, 2020 15:18
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In university I shared a house with a couple of German students for a year. They were both pretty cool, but one of them did occasionally slip into the perfect 'humourless robot' stereotype. Mostly it was the way he spoke English - it was perfectly fine on a technical level (and much better than I could ever have a stab at speaking German!) but the syntax and vocab was just not what any native English speaker would use. A few weeks in he wanted to make sure he'd sorted the recycling correctly, came up to me and said "I have a question concerning the disposal of the waste, if you please?". A few months later he was having trouble doing laundry, knocked on my door and said "The washing machine is not performing its correct function!". And, rather more dorkily, after he'd been in the UK about six months he exasperatedly said "When you English say you are 'going out' in the evening-time, you just mean you are going outside, yes? You say 'you are going out' or 'going into the town' and that is what you do - you go to the city centre and then decide which pub or nightclub you will go to! You have no plan when you leave the house - you just go out! It is hard to understand..." The only time I've actually been to Germany was when I was sent to cover the Retro Classics car show in Stuttgart, and that really just involved flying into Stuttgart airport, walking 200m to the exhibition hall and then going back to the airport so it hardly counts as 'Germany'. But it was still charmingly 'German'. For a start every single car on show was in pristine, better-than-when-it-came-out-the-factory condition. Even the diorama with some sort of 4WD Volkswagen Passat off-roading used spray-on fake mud. When I've been to press days at car shows in the UK, France, Italy and The Netherlands it's basically just a chance for the journos to walk around, see everything and talk to people without getting in the way of the public and vice versa. At Stuttgart we did that but then also were filed into a lecture theatre for a series of powerpoint presentations (given in German, with us foreigners wearing headphones with translators like the UN) about how the values of various benchmark German classic cars had changed over the past year, what mix of vehicle makes over 40 years old were now represented on the registration database of Baden-Württemberg state, how the demographic of classic car club members had changed since 2000 and a lecture (a proper, university-grade lecture) by a senior stylist from Mercedes-Benz about how classic cars influence modern car design. At the end all the British journalists disgraced ourselves by clapping, when apparently the thing to do is to lightly knock your knuckles on the desk. We were then escorted to a canteen where we were served complementary jars of sauerkraut salad, which was eaten in total silence. In the evening all the British journos gathered on one table for the entertainment (two guys - one rocking a mullet - playing guitar and a Vox Continental combo organ) and unlimited free food and drink. This included proper full-size pretzels carried to the table on stands like kitchen mug trees. All the Germans left the venue promptly at 10:55pm, and virtually all the lights were turned off at 11pm. We had been told that the venue was open 'all night' so we kept ordering. At midnight the waiter brought us the latest round of beers and said "it is very late, gentlemen, perhaps you should go to your hotel? Can I get you anything else?" This continued for the next hour or so, with gentle insinuations that we should leave, while continually reassuring us that the venue was still open, the staff were here all night and we could order more stuff...it was just that only foreigners dared to stay up past 11pm the day before there was serious car-watching to be done, apparently. We finally went to our overnight accomodation at this place, which was a combined vintage bus museum and hotel. The ground floor was like a car showroom but with a couple of (immaculate) old buses, the corridors were lined with cabinets of bus-related memorabilia and parts, and the rooms all had photos of historic buses of Stuttgart on the walls. The show itself was excellent - a really good variety of cars, well-displayed and with stands manned by attentive, knowledgable and friendly people plus loads of official stands from the likes of Porsche, Mercedes, Bosch, Audi and so on. But what was striking was how hushed and quiet it was. In any other country, a car show in an exhibition centre with 30,000 people in it at any one time has a certain level of hubbub and noise. Stuttgart just had the shuffling rustle of clothing and the occasionally hushed whisper. You could hear someone's camera shutter go from across the hall. These people were here to look at old cars, and that's what they were doing. They were looking and studying, and appreciating. Not talking. And of course all the cars were ruthlessly segregated by age ('classic', 'neoclassic', 'youngtimer') and within each age group by manufacturer (for German cars - except Opels, which, I was amused to see, were deemed un-German and put in the American section) and then by nationality for foreign cars. It was wonderfully, lovably, compellingly...dorky. But I loved it.
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May 16, 2020 15:19
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Of course it's a pig in the Germans version. Pork loving fascists
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May 16, 2020 15:19
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I have a real question: Why has every goon been to Stuttgart? Is it cause it's the military base and the only way for poor goons to travel is the military?
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May 16, 2020 15:20
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Icochet posted:I'm a German named Till and I once lived in a rooming house with an American who ate all my food except my rice (they thought rice was gay) and blasted Wheatus every night starting at 10 PM. They owned a pot-bellied pig named Girlfriend That person sounds like a trust fund try hard hipster who doesn't represent 99% of Americans.
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May 16, 2020 15:20
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Glenn Quebec posted:I have a real question: Why has every goon been to Stuttgart? Is it cause it's the military base and the only way for poor goons to travel is the military? My girlfriend in highschool was a German foreign exchange student from a little village south of Stuttgart. She was a beauty.
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May 16, 2020 15:22
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Icochet posted:I'm a German named Till and I once lived in a rooming house with an American who ate all my food except my rice (they thought rice was gay) and blasted Wheatus every night starting at 10 PM. They owned a pot-bellied pig named Girlfriend I'm canadian!! clearly you aren't german because you would know a jasmine rice eating german named till would obviously move to canada, not america
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May 16, 2020 15:22
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Of course Goons manage to turn the thread about deprecating Germans into a deprecating Goons thread.
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May 16, 2020 15:28
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In high school I had a German friend who was an exchange student. Dude loved to party. In fact we partied so much he got into trouble, and had to move in with a super Christian family to "keep him in line." He was a lot of fun, and we kept in touch for years afterward. He grew up on the soviet side of the wall in the 80s. The funniest thing about him was if anyone asked him to speak German he claimed he'd forgotten how.
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May 16, 2020 15:28
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Icochet posted:I'm a German named Till and I once lived in a rooming house with an American who ate all my food except my rice (they thought rice was gay) and blasted Wheatus every night starting at 10 PM. They owned a pot-bellied pig named Girlfriend
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May 16, 2020 15:31
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Icochet posted:I'm a German named Till and I once lived in a rooming house with an American who ate all my food except my rice (they thought rice was gay) and blasted Wheatus every night starting at 10 PM. They owned a pot-bellied pig named Girlfriend yea this is pretty much it
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May 16, 2020 15:35
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my antisocial and employed german roommate seemed very cold whenever he caught even a sniff of my 1am WoW raiding E: honestly i cant even imagine what creepy poo poo he was up to in his room at 1 am e2: it was probably some nazi poo poo e3: lol haha or poo poo porn
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May 16, 2020 15:35
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I failed German class in my freshman year of high school.
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May 16, 2020 15:41
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its cause of the holocaust
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May 16, 2020 15:41
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Synthetic Dreams posted:I failed German class in my freshman year of high school.
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May 16, 2020 15:47
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the corona quid posted:I think for a lot of foreigners but especially North Americans there’s a tendency to view Germans as cold and mean but when you view it through the other side of “North Americans tend to be obnoxious fucks who think they can do whatever they want and everyone else is wrong, they need to be told to stop acting like a jackass politely” it makes a lot more sense and it’s actually everyone else that is rude and obnoxious. hth op 🙂 this is true of most countries. russians love to loving party but if youre being an obnoxious drunk american ofc theyll hate you
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May 16, 2020 15:53
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Germans like to go home from their job and play job simulator games
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May 16, 2020 15:55
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