Where It All Began - Let's Read the Twilight Series

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Inspector Gesicht: Oct 26, 2012; 500 Zeus a body.

I wonder how Mormonism affects Brandon Sanderson's works. My criticism of his books is that they feel sexless and 400 pages too long.

The only other book I've read with Mormonism front and center is A Study in Scarlet. Not a great book on account of the fact that the first half is Sherlock Holmes' first adventure while the second half is a boring, unrelated melodrama set in Utah.

# ? Jun 3, 2020 10:41

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# ? May 25, 2024 02:35

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL: Feb 21, 2006; Holy Moly! DARKSEID IS!

While the chapter feels unrelated it�s in part to provide context to why the murders in the story take place to begin with. When questioned about that chapter Doyle stated �all I said about the Danite Band and the murders is historical so I cannot withdraw that, though it is likely that in a work of fiction it is stated more luridly than in a work of history.� That said, he had access to contemporary accounts of people who left and were excommunicated from the Mormons, including women who left and wrote about how poorly they were treated. One of Young�s sons tried to claim Doyle privately apologized, but this was after Doyle�s death. I call bullshit.

While that chapter drags on compared to the rest of the story, Doyle was very effective at making you care about these people struggling to cross the wilderness in the US only to be be eventually betrayed by the Mormons who �saved� them, so I get kinda defensive of it.

quote:

Some passages have been interpreted as allowing the skin of the Lamanites to finally lighten once they accept God truly, which associates Mormonism with whiteness.

Reminder that Meyer-pires don�t just become sparkling, but are described as turning pale. All of them. Even the ones who are indigenous Brazilian, Mexican, and Egyptian (all examples we see later on). While it�s poorly described, the implication is not cute, and given the context can be interpreted as horrifically racist.

# ? Jun 3, 2020 13:57

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:

While it�s poorly described, the implication is not cute, and given the context can be interpreted as horrifically racist.

It is horrifically racist, and to me the only question is whether Meyer was explicitly weaving Mormon theology into the book like Orson Scott Card admitted to doing, or just being terminally White Suburban Mom.

# ? Jun 3, 2020 14:37

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Chapter 17: What do I Look Like? The Wizard of Oz? You Need a Brain? You Need a Heart? Go Ahead. Take Mine. Take Everything I Have.

Yes, that is actually the chapter title.

quote:

I sort of had a plan as I ran to the Cullens' garage. The second part of it was totaling the bloodsucker�s car on my way back.

Wait, didn't he leave his motorcycle out front days ago? I checked and he never took it back. He's just taking the Cullens' car and leaving his bike!

quote:

So I was at a loss when I mashed the button on the keyless remote, and it was not his Volvo that beeped and flashed its lights for me. It was another car�a standout even in the long line of vehicles that were mostly all drool-worthy in their own ways.

Did he actually mean to give me the keys to an Aston Martin Vanquish, or was that an accident?

The Aston Martin V12 Vanquish would be one of the most obvious cars for Meyer to use, as it had gained fame 5 years before her writing of this book as a Bond car. The Vanquish was originally intended to appear in the prom scene in Twilight, where Edward would let Charlie take it for a spin around the block to distract him, but this was cut because the epilogue was already getting longer than a normal chapter and filled with even more useless poo poo.

Notice how rapidly the otherwise emotional and tense scene (as much as Meyer can write anything as "emotional" or "tense") crashes to a halt as soon as Jacob sees the cars. We need to get beaten over the head over and over with how rich and cool the Cullens are, so Jacob has to immediately forget all of his angst to drool over an Aston Martin.

quote:

I didn�t pause to think about it, or if this would change that second part of my plan. I just threw myself into the silky leather seat and cranked the engine while my knees were still crunched up under the steering wheel. The sound of the motor�s purr might have made me moan another day, but right now it was all I could do to concentrate enough to put it in drive.

I found the seat release and shoved myself back as my foot rammed the pedal down. The car felt almost airborne as it leaped forward.

It only took seconds to race through the tight, winding drive. The car responded to me like my thoughts were steering rather than my hands. As I blew out of the green tunnel and onto the highway, I caught a fleeting glimpse of Leah�s gray face peering uneasily through the ferns.

For half a second, I wondered what she�d think, and then I realized that I didn�t care.

Let's all say it together:

"gently caress Leah."

quote:

I turned south, because I had no patience today for ferries or traffic or anything else that meant I might have to lift my foot off the pedal.

In a sick way, it was my lucky day. If by lucky you meant taking a well-traveled highway at two hundred without so much as seeing one cop, even in the thirty-mile-an-hour speed-trap towns. What a letdown. A little chase action might have been nice, not to mention that the license plate info would bring the heat down on the leech. Sure, he�d buy his way out of it, but it might have been just a little inconvenient for him.

I guess there's just no police at all in Washington!

quote:

The only sign of surveillance I came across was just a hint of dark brown fur flitting through the woods, running parallel to me for a few miles on the south side of Forks. Quil, it looked like. He must have seen me, too, because he disappeared after a minute without raising an alarm. Again, I almost wondered what his story would be before I remembered that I didn�t care.

He has his A Serbian Film-esque relationship waiting for him at home.

Also, isn't this the worst decision an Alpha could be making? Leaving his very small pack all alone to go mope in another zip code?

quote:

I raced around the long U-shaped highway, heading for the biggest city I could find. That was the first part of my plan. It seemed to take forever, probably because I was still on the razor blades, but it actually didn�t even take two hours before I was driving north into the undefined sprawl that was part Tacoma and part Seattle.

I slowed down then, because I really wasn�t trying to kill any innocent bystanders.

Wait, so he's driving at 200 MPH to a city that's 138 miles away but it takes him just under 2 hours to get there?

quote:

This was a stupid plan. It wasn�t going to work. But, as I�d searched my head for any way at all to get away from the pain, what Leah�d said today had popped in there.

That would go away, you know, if you imprinted. You wouldn�t have to hurt over her anymore.

Seemed like maybe getting your choices taken away from you wasn�t the very worst thing in the world. Maybe feeling like this was the very worst thing in the world.

But I�d seen all the girls in La Push and up on the Makah rez and in Forks. I needed a wider hunting range.

This is loving incredible. It seemed like Jacob was tearing out of Forks like a bat out of hell because he's depressed, shocked, betrayed by the Cullens and by Bella, all alone with nobody willing to help him save her life.

No, the first thing on this dude's mind is to just fling himself at every single woman in the Seattle-Tacoma metro area to see which one is his soulmate! Who the hell needs things like "grieving" and "therapy" and "moving on" when you can just force yourself to fall madly in love with someone else as a replacement?

Huh. Almost as if Bella did the exact same thing by using vampirism as a replacement for solving any of her flaws and developing as an individual. What does that say about the author?

quote:

So how do you look for a random soul mate in a crowd? Well, first, I needed a crowd. So I tooled around, looking for a likely spot. I passed a couple of malls, which probably would�ve been pretty good places to find girls my age, but I couldn�t make myself stop. Did I want to imprint on some girl who hung out in a mall all day?

So that's Bella and Jacob both dismissing girls who do things like wear makeup and go shopping.

quote:

I kept going north, and it got more and more crowded. Eventually, I found a big park full of kids and families and skateboards and bikes and kites and picnics and the whole bit. I hadn�t noticed till now�it was a nice day. Sun and all that. People were out celebrating the blue sky.

....he's rejecting the mall but scoping out pussy at the playground?

quote:

I parked across two handicapped spots�just begging for a ticket�and joined the crowd.

An Aston Martin Vanquish screeches in a handbrake turn sideways. An impossibly muscular 6'7 Native American wearing clothes the wrong size who hasn't showered in days (who canonically looks like he's in his mid-20s because of the werewolf testosterone) stumbles out and begins charging through the playground staring at every female he sees with wild eyes.

I cannot believe the above sentence is literally what happens in the Twilight series, yet here we are.

quote:

I walked around for what felt like hours. Long enough that the sun changed sides in the sky. I stared into the face of every girl who passed anywhere near me, making myself really look, noticing who was pretty and who had blue eyes and who looked good in braces and who had way too much makeup on. I tried to find something interesting about each face, so that I would know for sure that I�d really tried. Things like: This one had a really straight nose; that one should pull her hair out of her eyes; this one could do lipstick ads if the rest of her face was as perfect as her mouth.� Sometimes they stared back.

Sometimes they looked scared�like they were thinking, Who is this big freak glaring at me? Sometimes I thought they looked kind of interested, but maybe that was just my ego running wild.

I didn't think the books could somehow get more pathetic than they already were, but...

quote:

Either way, nothing. Even when I met the eyes of the girl who was�no contest�the hottest girl in the park and probably in the city, and she stared right back with a speculation that looked like interest, I felt nothing.

Just the same desperate drive to find a way out of the pain.

It's even worse that he's specifically looking for the hottest chicks in Seattle and begging he doesn't imprint on someone unappealing. It shows how much stock Meyer puts on imprinting, and in turn her own Mormon belief in soulmates, that Jacob isn't even trying to find a conventional romance of the kind he suggested for Leah just one chapter ago.

quote:

As time went on, I started noticing all the wrong things. Bella things. This one�s hair was the same color. That one�s eyes were sort of shaped the same. This one�s cheekbones cut across her face in just the same way. That one had the same little crease between her eyes�which made me wonder what she was worrying about.�

That was when I gave up. Because it was beyond stupid to think that I had picked exactly the right place and time and I was going to simply walk into my soul mate just because I was so desperate to.

It wouldn�t make sense to find her here, anyway. If Sam was right, the best place to find my genetic match would be in La Push. And, clearly, no one there fit the bill. If Billy was right, then who knew? What made for a stronger wolf?

I wandered back to the car and then slumped against the hood and played with the keys.

Maybe I was what Leah thought she was. Some kind of dead end that shouldn�t be passed on to another generation. Or maybe it was just that my life was a big, cruel joke, and there was no escape from the punch line.

Again, find a normal girlfriend.

quote:

�Hey, you okay? Hello? You there, with the stolen car.�

It took me a second to realize that the voice was talking to me, and then another second to decide to raise my head.

A familiar-looking girl was staring at me, her expression kind of anxious. I knew why I recognized her face�I�d already catalogued this one. Light red-gold hair, fair skin, a few gold-colored freckles sprinkled across her cheeks and nose, and eyes the color of cinnamon.

"Cataloged."

quote:

�If you�re feeling that remorseful over boosting the car,� she said, smiling so that a dimple popped out in her chin, �you could always turn yourself in.�

�It�s borrowed, not stolen,� I snapped. My voice sounded horrible�like I�d been crying or something. Embarrassing.

I'm embarrassed reading this!

quote:

�Sure, that�ll hold up in court.�

I glowered. �You need something?�

�Not really. I was kidding about the car, you know. It�s just that� you look really upset about something. Oh, hey, I�m Lizzie.� She held out her hand.

I looked at it until she let it fall.

Lizzie is not included in the movie. This entire bizarre interjection where Jacob runs to Seattle to leer at underage girls at the park is cut completely and Bella goes into labor right as she's sharing baby names.

quote:

�Anyway�,� she said awkwardly, �I was just wondering if I could help. Seemed like you were looking for someone before.� She gestured toward the park and shrugged.

�Yeah.� She waited. I sighed. �I don�t need any help. She�s not here.�

�Oh. Sorry.�

�Me, too,� I muttered.

I looked at the girl again. Lizzie. She was pretty. Nice enough to try to help a grouchy stranger who must seem nuts. Why couldn�t she be the one? Why did everything have to be so freaking complicated? Nice girl, pretty, and sort of funny. Why not?

I'm assuming that to Lizzie, this creepy unwashed dude just stared her right in the eyes for an uncomfortably long period of time.

quote:

�This is a beautiful car,� she said. �It�s really a shame they�re not making them anymore. I mean, the Vantage�s body styling is gorgeous, too, but there�s just something about the Vanquish.��

Nice girl who knew cars. Wow. I stared at her face harder, wishing I knew how to make it work. C�mon, Jake�imprint already.

No! Stop it!

quote:

�How�s it drive?� she asked.

�Like you wouldn�t believe,� I told her.

She grinned her one-dimple smile, clearly pleased to have dragged a halfway civil response out of me, and I gave her a reluctant smile back.

But her smile did nothing about the sharp, cutting blades that raked up and down my body. No matter how much I wanted it to, my life was not going to come together like that.

Let's maybe drop the disturbing self-harm connotations here?

quote:

I wasn�t in that healthier place where Leah was headed. I wasn�t going to be able to fall in love like a normal person. Not when I was bleeding over someone else. Maybe�if it was ten years from now and Bella�s heart was long dead and I�d hauled myself through the whole grieving process and come out in one piece again�maybe then I could offer Lizzie a ride in a fast car and talk makes and models and get to know something about her and see if I liked her as a person. But that wasn�t going to happen now.

Magic wasn�t going to save me. I was just going to have to take the torture like a man. Suck it up.

A whole cast of tortured pretty boys with the emotional maturity of a toddler.

quote:

Lizzie waited, maybe hoping I was going to offer her that ride. Or maybe not.

�I�d better get this car back to the guy I borrowed it from,� I muttered.

She smiled again. �Glad to hear you�re going straight.�

�Yeah, you convinced me.�

She watched me get in the car, still sort of concerned. I probably looked like someone who was about to drive off a cliff. Which maybe I would�ve, if that kind of move�d work for a werewolf. She waved once, her eyes trailing after the car.

I would read a book about loving Lizzie before Bella, Edward, and Jacob.

quote:

At first, I drove more sanely on the way back. I wasn�t in a rush. I didn�t want to go where I was going. Back to that house, back to that forest. Back to the pain I�d run from. Back to being absolutely alone with it.

Okay, that was melodramatic. I wouldn�t be all alone, but that was a bad thing. Leah and Seth would have to suffer with me. I was glad Seth wouldn�t have to suffer long. Kid didn�t deserve to have his peace of mind ruined. Leah didn�t, either, but at least it was something she understood. Nothing new about pain for Leah.

I sighed big as I thought about what Leah wanted from me, because I knew now that she was going to get it. I was still pissed at her, but I couldn�t ignore the fact that I could make her life easier. And�now that I knew her better�I thought she would probably do this for me, if our positions were reversed.

It would be interesting, at the very least, and strange, too, to have Leah as a companion�as a friend. We were going to get under each other�s skin a lot, that was for sure. She wouldn�t be one to let me wallow, but I thought that was a good thing. I�d probably need someone to kick my butt now and then. But when it came right down to it, she was really the only friend who had any chance of understanding what I was going through now.

Finally, we admit that Leah is the best!

quote:

I thought of the hunt this morning, and how close our minds had been for that one moment in time. It hadn�t been a bad thing. Different. A little scary, a little awkward. But also nice in a weird way.

I didn�t have to be all alone.

And I knew Leah was strong enough to face with me the months that were coming. Months and years. It made me tired to think about it. I felt like I was staring out across an ocean that I was going to have to swim from shore to shore before I could rest again.

So much time coming, and then so little time before it started. Before I was flung into that ocean. Three and a half more days, and here I was, wasting that little bit of time I had.

I started driving too fast again.

I saw Sam and Jared, one on either side of the road like sentinels, as I raced up the road toward Forks. They were well hidden in the thick branches, but I was expecting them, and I knew what to look for. I nodded as I blew past them, not bothering to wonder what they made of my day trip.

Day trip in the Cullens' Vanquish, no less.

quote:

I nodded to Leah and Seth, too, as I cruised up the Cullens� driveway. It was starting to get dark, and the clouds were thick on this side of the sound, but I saw their eyes glitter in the glow of the headlights. I would explain to them later. There�d be plenty of time for that.

# ? Jun 3, 2020 15:24

Grammarchist: Jan 28, 2013

I'm glad Lizzie never had to have the talk explaining that she's destined to breed werewolves and must relocate to an unfamiliar community where she will be expected to trash on Leah and occasionally babysit Quill's fiance.

# ? Jun 3, 2020 16:34

hyperhazard: Dec 4, 2011; I am the one lascivious
With magic potion niveous

chitoryu12 posted:

Lizzie

So did someone win a contest or something? What the hell is this fluff? This could have been summed up in one sentence: "As my dark, bleeding, manly soul ached, I thought back to the time when I traveled two hours to Wherever Town, hoping to find my soul mate in the crowd -- but no luck." Done.

# ? Jun 3, 2020 19:33

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

When I opened this book, "Jacob stumbling wild-eyed and unshaven through a park leering at underage girls in an attempt to make himself supernaturally horny to forget Bella" was not where I saw us going.

# ? Jun 3, 2020 21:09

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

I'm starting to think Meyer just doesn't have any understanding at all of how relationships start and progress for people who aren't hardcore Mormons.

# ? Jun 3, 2020 21:22

hyperhazard: Dec 4, 2011; I am the one lascivious
With magic potion niveous

I'm still confused why a one-scene character gets a name and more detailed physical description than any of the main characters. Was there one more family member that she just had to squeeze in? Did a friend die and this is how she's immortalizing them? Did a fan win a raffle to be included?

# ? Jun 3, 2020 22:00

Grammarchist: Jan 28, 2013

This feels like a community theater original production. Everyone's just walking around, talking, and occasionally having bouts of DRAMA while some intern props more pillows under Bella's shirt.

# ? Jun 4, 2020 04:54

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL: Feb 21, 2006; Holy Moly! DARKSEID IS!

Is this about where Edward begins to become a non-presence in the story? Imagine being into these books as a teen/young adult trying to finish the series you started and it turning into the Bella and Baby Power Hour.

# ? Jun 4, 2020 13:02

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

quote:

It was a surprise to find Edward waiting for me in the garage. I hadn�t seen him away from Bella in days. I could tell from his face that nothing bad had happened to her. In fact, he looked more peaceful than before. My stomach tightened as I remembered where that peace came from.

It was too bad that�with all my brooding�I�d forgotten to wreck the car. Oh well. I probably wouldn�t have been able to stand hurting this car, anyway. Maybe he�d guessed as much, and that�s why he�d lent it to me in the first place.

Or because he's a billionaire and can buy a brand new one whenever he wants.

quote:

�A few things, Jacob,� he said as soon as I cut the engine.

I took a deep breath and held it for a minute. Then, slowly, I got out of the car and threw the keys to him.

�Thanks for the loan,� I said sourly. Apparently, it would have to be repaid. �What do you want now?�

�Firstly� I know how averse you are to using your authority with your pack, but��

I blinked, astonished that he would even dream of starting in on this one. �What?�

�If you can�t or won�t control Leah, then I��

�Leah?� I interrupted, speaking through my teeth. �What happened?�

Edward�s face was hard. �She came up to see why you�d left so abruptly. I tried to explain. I suppose it might not have come out right.�

The sociopath didn't explain things properly? A shock.

quote:

�What did she do?�

�She phased to her human form and��

�Really?� I interrupted again, shocked this time. I couldn�t process that. Leah letting her guard down right in the mouth of the enemy�s lair?

�She wanted to� speak to Bella.�

�To Bella?�

Edward got all hissy then. �I won�t let Bella be upset like that again. I don�t care how justified Leah thinks she is! I didn�t hurt her�of course I wouldn�t�but I�ll throw her out of the house if it happens again. I�ll launch her right across the river��

"My precious Bella is too sensitive! Her weak constitution can never handle disagreement or negative emotions! I am her knight in glittering armor, protecting her from consequences!"

quote:

�Hold on. What did she say?� None of this was making any sense.

Edward took a deep breath, composing himself. �Leah was unnecessarily harsh. I�m not going to pretend that I understand why Bella is unable to let go of you, but I do know that she does not behave this way to hurt you. She suffers a great deal over the pain she�s inflicting on you, and on me, by asking you to stay. What Leah said was uncalled for. Bella�s been crying��

�Wait�Leah was yelling at Bella about me?�

He nodded one sharp nod. �You were quite vehemently championed.�

"It didn't make any kind of sense! Everyone knows you're a terrible excuse for a human being!"

quote:

Whoa. �I didn�t ask her to do that.�

�I know.�

I rolled my eyes. Of course he knew. He knew everything.

But that was really something about Leah. Who would have believed it? Leah walking into the bloodsuckers� place human to complain about how I was being treated.

�I can�t promise to control Leah,� I told him. �I won�t do that. But I�ll talk to her, okay? And I don�t think there�ll be a repeat. Leah�s not one to hold back, so she probably got it all off her chest today.�

�I would say so.�

As much as I hate the idea of anyone defending anything Jacob does, it's very cathartic to think about someone finally laying into Bella until she's crying.

quote:

�Anyway, I�ll talk to Bella about it, too. She doesn�t need to feel bad. This one�s on me.�

�I already told her that.�

�Of course you did. Is she okay?�

�She�s sleeping now. Rose is with her.�

So the psycho was �Rose� now. He�d completely crossed over to the dark side.

No teenager talks like this about these things!

quote:

He ignored that thought, continuing with a more complete answer to my question. �She�s� better in some ways. Aside from Leah�s tirade and the resulting guilt.�

Better. Because Edward was hearing the monster and everything was all lovey-dovey now. Fantastic.

�It�s a bit more than that,� he murmured. �Now that I can make out the child�s thoughts, it�s apparent that he or she has remarkably developed mental facilities. He can understand us, to an extent.�

My mouth fell open. �Are you serious?�

�Yes. He seems to have a vague sense of what hurts her now. He�s trying to avoid that, as much as possible. He� loves her. Already.�

Okay, good to see there's nothing actually terrifying about this scenario! Our fetus is super-smart and loving!

quote:

I stared at Edward, feeling sort of like my eyes might pop out of their sockets. Underneath that disbelief, I could see right away that this was the critical factor. This was what had changed Edward�that the monster had convinced him of this love. He couldn�t hate what loved Bella. It was probably why he couldn�t hate me, either. There was a big difference, though. I wasn�t killing her.

Again, this would be so much better with a twist that the baby really is evil and is actively manipulating them now.

quote:

Edward went on, acting like he hadn�t heard all that. �The progress, I believe, is more than we�d judged. When Carlisle returns��

�They�re not back?� I cut in sharply. I thought of Sam and Jared, watching the road. Would they get curious as to what was going on?

�Alice and Jasper are. Carlisle sent all the blood he was able to acquire, but it wasn�t as much as he was hoping for�Bella will use up this supply in another day the way her appetite has grown. Carlisle stayed to try another source. I don�t think that�s necessary now, but he wants to be covered for any eventuality.�

Is Carlisle at the point of breaking into blood banks now? Or is he hooking up dead deer to blood bags in the forest?

quote:

�Why isn�t it necessary? If she needs more?�

I could tell he was watching and listening to my reaction carefully as he explained. �I�m trying to persuade Carlisle to deliver the baby as soon as he is back.�

�What?�

�The child seems to be attempting to avoid rough movements, but it�s difficult. He�s become too big. It�s madness to wait, when he�s clearly developed beyond what Carlisle had guessed. Bella�s too fragile to delay.�

I kept getting my legs knocked out from under me. First, counting on Edward�s hatred of the thing so much. Now, I�d realized that I thought of those four days as a sure thing. I�d banked on them.

The endless ocean of grief that waited stretched out before me.

I tried to catch my breath.

Edward waited. I stared at his face while I recovered, recognizing another change there.

�You think she�s going to make it,� I whispered.

�Yes. That was the other thing I wanted to talk to you about.�

I couldn�t say anything. After a minute, he went on.

I legitimately don't think Stephenie Meyer knows how long a minute actually is. Every chapter has minute-long pauses in a conversation, or even longer. Try just staring at someone for a straight minute during a conversation and see how that feels.

quote:

�Yes,� he said again. �Waiting, as we have been, for the child to be ready, that was insanely dangerous. At any moment it could have been too late. But if we�re proactive about this, if we act quickly, I see no reason why it should not go well. Knowing the child�s mind is unbelievably helpful. Thankfully, Bella and Rose agree with me. Now that I�ve convinced them it�s safe for the child if we proceed, there�s nothing to keep this from working.�

�When will Carlisle be back?� I asked, still whispering. I hadn�t got my breath back yet.

�By noon tomorrow.�

My knees buckled. I had to grab the car to hold myself up. Edward reached out like he was offering support, but then he thought better of it and dropped his hands.

Why does that look so hilarious to me?

quote:

�I�m sorry,� he whispered. �I am truly sorry for the pain this causes you, Jacob. Though you hate me, I must admit that I don�t feel the same about you. I think of you as a� a brother in many ways. A comrade in arms, at the very least. I regret your suffering more than you realize. But Bella is going to survive��when he said that his voice was fierce, even violent��and I know that�s what really matters to you.�

Remember how a few days ago Jacob came here specifically to kill him and Edward still hated him?

quote:

He was probably right. It was hard to tell. My head was spinning.

�So I hate to do this now, while you�re already dealing with too much, but, clearly, there is little time. I have to ask you for something�to beg, if I must.�

�I don�t have anything left,� I choked out.

He lifted his hand again, as if to put it on my shoulder, but then let it drop like before and sighed.

This is comically melodramatic. I know it's Meyer being a poo poo writer, but it feels like Edward the sociopath trying in vain to imitate how he thinks emotional conversations are supposed to go, with specific scripted moments of poignancy.

quote:

�I know how much you have given,� he said quietly. �But this is something you do have, and only you. I�m asking this of the true Alpha, Jacob. I�m asking this of Ephraim�s heir.� I was way past being able to respond. �I want your permission to deviate from what we agreed to in our treaty with Ephraim. I want you to grant us an exception. I want your permission to save her life. You know I�ll do it anyway, but I don�t want to break faith with you if there is any way to avoid it. We never intended to go back on our word, and we don�t do it lightly now. I want your understanding, Jacob, because you know exactly why we do this. I want the alliance between our families to survive when this is over.�

I tried to swallow. Sam, I thought. It�s Sam you want.

�No. Sam�s authority is assumed. It belongs to you. You�ll never take it from him, but no one can rightfully agree to what I�m asking except for you.�

"Only blood matters. Sam's desire to protect his community makes him a false king."

quote:

It�s not my decision.

�It is, Jacob, and you know it. Your word on this will condemn us or absolve us. Only you can give this to me.�

I can�t think. I don�t know.

�We don�t have much time.� He glanced back toward the house.

No, there was no time. My few days had become a few hours.

What are the chances Meyer just ran out of ideas for how to fill in the time but also couldn't stand to skip a single day's events?

quote:

I don�t know. Let me think. Just give me a minute here, okay?

�Yes.�

I started walking to the house, and he followed. Crazy how easy it was, walking through the dark with a vampire right beside me. It didn�t feel unsafe, or even uncomfortable, really. It felt like walking next to anybody. Well, anybody who smelled bad.

Reminder that Jacob hasn't washed or brushed his teeth in days apart from whatever incidental river water he gets as a wolf.

quote:

There was a movement in the brush at the edge of the big lawn, and then a low whimper. Seth shrugged through the ferns and loped over to us.

�Hey, kid,� I muttered.

He dipped his head, and I patted his shoulder.

�S�all cool,� I lied. �I�ll tell you about it later. Sorry to take off on you like that.�

He grinned at me.

�Hey, tell your sister to back off now, okay? Enough.�

Seth nodded once.

I shoved against his shoulder this time. �Get back to work. I�ll spell you in a bit.�

Seth leaned against me, shoving back, and then he galloped into the trees.

�He has one of the purest, sincerest, kindest minds I�ve ever heard,� Edward murmured when he was out of sight. �You�re lucky to have his thoughts to share.�

"He's one of the only characters in this series who hasn't behaved like a crazy person, honestly."

quote:

�I know that,� I grunted.

We started toward the house, and both of our heads snapped up when we heard the sound of someone sucking through a straw. Edward was in a hurry then. He darted up the porch stairs and was gone.

�Bella, love, I thought you were sleeping,� I heard him say. �I�m sorry, I wouldn�t have left.�

�Don�t worry. I just got so thirsty�it woke me up. It�s a good thing Carlisle is bringing more. This kid is going to need it when he gets out of me.�

�True. That�s a good point.�

�I wonder if he�ll want anything else,� she mused.

�I suppose we�ll find out.�

"Death!"

quote:

I walked through the door.

Alice said, �Finally,� and Bella�s eyes flashed to me. That infuriating, irresistible smile broke across her face for one second. Then it faltered, and her face fell. Her lips puckered, like she was trying not to cry.

I wanted to punch Leah right in her stupid mouth.

Get hosed.

quote:

�Hey, Bells,� I said quickly. �How ya doing?�

�I�m fine,� she said.

�Big day today, huh? Lots of new stuff.�

�You don�t have to do that, Jacob.�

�Don�t know what you�re talking about,� I said, going to sit on the arm of the sofa by her head. Edward had the floor there already.

She gave me a reproachful look. �I�m so s�� she started to say.

I pinched her lips together between my thumb and finger.

�Jake,� she mumbled, trying to pull my hand away. Her attempt was so weak it was hard to believe that she was really trying.

I shook my head. �You can talk when you�re not being stupid.�

Please do not do this in real life.

quote:

�Fine, I won�t say it,� it sounded like she mumbled.

I pulled my hand away.

�Sorry!� she finished quickly, and then grinned.

I rolled my eyes and then smiled back at her.

When I stared into her eyes, I saw everything that I�d been looking for in the park.

Oh I do hope Edward tells Bella about what Jacob's adventure was.

quote:

Tomorrow, she�d be someone else. But hopefully alive, and that was what counted, right? She�d look at me with the same eyes, sort of. Smile with the same lips, almost. She�d still know me better than anyone who didn�t have full access to the inside of my head.

Leah might be an interesting companion, maybe even a true friend�someone who would stand up for me. But she wasn�t my best friend the way that Bella was. Aside from the impossible love I felt for Bella, there was also that other bond, and it ran bone deep.

The bond that existed for like, 2 months before every conversation they had would turn into a fight, attempted murder, or sexual assault.

quote:

Tomorrow, she�d be my enemy. Or she�d be my ally. And, apparently, that distinction was up to me.

I sighed.

Fine! I thought, giving up the very last thing I had to give. It made me feel hollow. Go ahead. Save her. As Ephraim�s heir, you have my permission, my word, that this will not violate the treaty. The others will just have to blame me. You were right�they can�t deny that it�s my right to agree to this.

�Thank you.� Edward�s whisper was low enough that Bella didn�t hear anything. But the words were so fervent that, from the corner of my eye, I saw the other vampires turning to stare.

�So,� Bella asked, working to be casual. �How was your day?�

�Great. Went for a drive. Hung out in the park.�

"Got asked to please leave the premises before the police were called."

quote:

�Sounds nice.�

�Sure, sure.�

Suddenly, she made a face. �Rose?� she asked.

I heard Blondie chuckle. �Again?�

�I think I�ve drunk two gallons in the last hour,� Bella explained.

Ah, my beer consumption.

quote:

Edward and I both got out of the way while Rosalie came to lift Bella from the couch and take her to the bathroom.

�Can I walk?� Bella asked. �My legs are so stiff.�

�Are you sure?� Edward asked.

�Rose�ll catch me if I trip over my feet. Which could happen pretty easily, since I can�t see them.�

Rosalie set Bella carefully on her feet, keeping her hands right at Bella�s shoulders. Bella stretched her arms out in front of her, wincing a little.

�That feels good,� she sighed. �Ugh, but I�m huge.�

She really was. Her stomach was its own continent.

Canonically, Edward heard that.

quote:

�One more day,� she said, and patted her stomach.

I couldn�t help the pain that shot through me in a sudden, stabbing burst, but I tried to keep it off my face. I could hide it for one more day, right?

�All righty, then. Whoops�oh, no!�

The cup Bella had left on the sofa tumbled to one side, the dark red blood spilling out onto the pale fabric.

Automatically, though three other hands beat her there, Bella bent over, reaching out to catch it.

There was the strangest, muffled ripping sound from the center of her body.

the what sound

quote:

�Oh!� she gasped.

And then she went totally limp, slumping toward the floor. Rosalie caught her in the same instant, before she could fall. Edward was there, too, hands out, the mess on the sofa forgotten.

�Bella?� he asked, and then his eyes unfocused, and panic shot across his features.

A half second later, Bella screamed. It was not just a scream, it was a blood-curdling shriek of agony.

The horrifying sound cut off with a gurgle, and her eyes rolled back into her head. Her body twitched, arched in Rosalie�s arms, and then Bella vomited a fountain of blood.

# ? Jun 4, 2020 19:27

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

Bella is a sociopath.

Edward is emotionally abusive.

Jacob is a rapist.

Baby is a chestburster.

And people thought this was wholesome?!

# ? Jun 4, 2020 19:51

hyperhazard: Dec 4, 2011; I am the one lascivious
With magic potion niveous

chitoryu12 posted:

�It�s a bit more than that,� he murmured. �Now that I can make out the child�s thoughts, it�s apparent that he or she has remarkably developed mental facilities. He can understand us, to an extent.�

My mouth fell open. �Are you serious?�

�Yes. He seems to have a vague sense of what hurts her now. He�s trying to avoid that, as much as possible. He� loves her. Already.�

Take that, all you harlots out there aborting your ~~fetuses~~ babies that love you!

# ? Jun 4, 2020 20:03

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Cythereal posted:

Bella is a sociopath.

Edward is emotionally abusive.

Jacob is a rapist.

Baby is a chestburster.

And people thought this was wholesome?!

Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet. This next chapter is basically torture porn.

# ? Jun 4, 2020 20:12

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

chitoryu12 posted:

Oh, you ain't seen nothing yet. This next chapter is basically torture porn.

I don't know why I wasn't expecting body horror from Twilight.

# ? Jun 4, 2020 20:31

Grammarchist: Jan 28, 2013

I really wish there were classic vampire hunters in this universe so we can have a scene where a Cardinal descends a secret elevator under St. Peter's Basilica to bring his master the haunting news that the prophesied coming of E.J./Renesmee has come at last.

# ? Jun 4, 2020 20:33

Midjack: Dec 24, 2007

Midjack posted:

This story seems like it�s building towards a chestburster self-C-section birth scene and we�re suddenly plunged into an Alien fanfic but I know that can�t be what happens.

welp

# ? Jun 4, 2020 21:20

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Midjack posted:

welp

# ? Jun 4, 2020 21:39

Anias: Jun 3, 2010; It really is a lovely hat

Cythereal posted:

Bella is a sociopath.

Edward is emotionally abusive.

Jacob is a rapist.

Baby is a chestburster.

And people thought this was wholesome?!

Edward got with Bella
and Bella got Renes
she was sharing bella's outlook
on the topic of some fleas

Baby was a monster kid
and Jacob was a rapist
They were all in love with dying
They were doing it in stages

Leah had to suffer
because meyer is a hack
she bounced off one bad lover
and got stuck with jacob's pack

They were all in love with dying
they were drinking from a fountain
that was pouring like an avalanche
coming down a mountain...

# ? Jun 5, 2020 02:08

HopperUK: Apr 29, 2007; Why would an ambulance be leaving the hospital?

Anias posted:

Edward got with Bella
and Bella got Renes
she was sharing bella's outlook
on the topic of some fleas

Baby was a monster kid
and Jacob was a rapist
They were all in love with dying
They were doing it in stages

Leah had to suffer
because meyer is a hack
she bounced off one bad lover
and got stuck with jacob's pack

They were all in love with dying
they were drinking from a fountain
that was pouring like an avalanche
coming down a mountain...

holy bananas!

# ? Jun 5, 2020 02:11

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Anias posted:

Edward got with Bella
and Bella got Renes
she was sharing bella's outlook
on the topic of some fleas

Baby was a monster kid
and Jacob was a rapist
They were all in love with dying
They were doing it in stages

Leah had to suffer
because meyer is a hack
she bounced off one bad lover
and got stuck with jacob's pack

They were all in love with dying
they were drinking from a fountain
that was pouring like an avalanche
coming down a mountain...

gently caress.

# ? Jun 5, 2020 02:50

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Anias posted:

Edward got with Bella
and Bella got Renes
she was sharing bella's outlook
on the topic of some fleas

Baby was a monster kid
and Jacob was a rapist
They were all in love with dying
They were doing it in stages

Leah had to suffer
because meyer is a hack
she bounced off one bad lover
and got stuck with jacob's pack

They were all in love with dying
they were drinking from a fountain
that was pouring like an avalanche
coming down a mountain...

# ? Jun 5, 2020 03:54

hyperhazard: Dec 4, 2011; I am the one lascivious
With magic potion niveous

I read that to the tune of "Miss Suzie had a steamboat" until the last line, and now that's all I can hear it as.

# ? Jun 5, 2020 05:44

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

https://twitter.com/randazzotweets/status/1268608526491910145?s=21

# ? Jun 5, 2020 11:59

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Chapter 18: There Are No Words For This

You got that right!

quote:

Bella's body, streaming with red, started to twitch, jerking around in Rosalie�s arms like she was being electrocuted. All the while, her face was blank�unconscious. It was the wild thrashing from inside the center of her body that moved her. As she convulsed, sharp snaps and cracks kept time with the spasms.

Rosalie and Edward were frozen for the shortest half second, and then they broke. Rosalie whipped Bella�s body into her arms, and, shouting so fast it was hard to separate the individual words, she and Edward shot up the staircase to the second floor.

I sprinted after them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR3k-R2zcF4

quote:

�Morphine!� Edward yelled at Rosalie.

�Alice�get Carlisle on the phone!� Rosalie screeched.

The room I followed them to looked like an emergency ward set up in the middle of a library. The lights were brilliant and white. Bella was on a table under the glare, skin ghostly in the spotlight. Her body flopped, a fish on the sand. Rosalie pinned Bella down, yanking and ripping her clothes out of the way, while Edward stabbed a syringe into her arm.

How many times had I imagined her naked? Now I couldn�t look. I was afraid to have these memories in my head.

Jesus Christ, Jacob, now?

quote:

�What�s happening, Edward?�

�He�s suffocating!�

�The placenta must have detached!�

Somewhere in this, Bella came around. She responded to their words with a shriek that clawed at my eardrums.

�Get him OUT!� she screamed. �He can�t BREATHE! Do it NOW!�

I saw the red spots pop out when her scream broke the blood vessels in her eyes.

Yeah, you thought these books were all gonna be milquetoast and boring? People can't even swear properly?

Hell naw! SMeyer was saving it all for this chapter! poo poo's gonna get real hosed!

quote:

�The morphine�,� Edward growled.

�NO! NOW�!� Another gush of blood choked off what she was shrieking. He held her head up, desperately trying to clear her mouth so that she could breathe again.

Alice darted into the room and clipped a little blue earpiece under Rosalie�s hair. Then Alice backed away, her gold eyes wide and burning, while Rosalie hissed frantically into the phone.

In the bright light, Bella�s skin seemed more purple and black than it was white. Deep red was seeping beneath the skin over the huge, shuddering bulge of her stomach. Rosalie�s hand came up with a scalpel.

�Let the morphine spread!� Edward shouted at her.

�There�s no time,� Rosalie hissed.

�He�s dying!� Her hand came down on Bella�s stomach, and vivid red spouted out from where she pierced the skin. It was like a bucket being turned over, a faucet twisted to full. Bella jerked, but didn�t scream. She was still choking.

There's about 1.2 to 1.5 gallons of blood in the human body. Presumably Bella has more, considering her diet.

You're gonna see all of it end up outside.

quote:

And then Rosalie lost her focus. I saw the expression on her face shift, saw her lips pull back from her teeth and her black eyes glint with thirst.

�No, Rose!� Edward roared, but his hands were trapped, trying to prop Bella upright so she could breathe.

I launched myself at Rosalie, jumping across the table without bothering to phase. As I hit her stone body, knocking her toward the door, I felt the scalpel in her hand stab deep into my left arm. My right palm smashed against her face, locking her jaw and blocking her airways.

I used my grip on Rosalie�s face to swing her body out so that I could land a solid kick in her gut; it was like kicking concrete. She flew into the door frame, buckling one side of it. The little speaker in her ear crackled into pieces. Then Alice was there, yanking her by the throat to get her into the hall.

And I had to give it to Blondie�she didn�t put up an ounce of fight. She wanted us to win. She let me trash her like that, to save Bella. Well, to save the thing.

I ripped the blade out of my arm.

This is the scene that Robert Pattinson said would have been NC-17 if they didn't cut it heavily during editing.

quote:

�Alice, get her out of here!� Edward shouted. �Take her to Jasper and keep her there! Jacob, I need you!�

I didn�t watch Alice finish the job. I wheeled back to the operating table, where Bella was turning blue, her eyes wide and staring.

�CPR?� Edward growled at me, fast and demanding.

�Yes!�

I judged his face swiftly, looking for any sign that he was going to react like Rosalie. There was nothing but single-minded ferocity.

�Get her breathing! I�ve got to get him out before��

Another shattering crack inside her body, the loudest yet, so loud that we both froze in shock waiting for her answering shriek. Nothing. Her legs, which had been curled up in agony, now went limp, sprawling out in an unnatural way.

�Her spine,� he choked in horror.

�Get it out of her!� I snarled, flinging the scalpel at him. �She won�t feel anything now!�

Dear lord.

quote:

And then I bent over her head. Her mouth looked clear, so I pressed mine to hers and blew a lungful of air into it. I felt her twitching body expand, so there was nothing blocking her throat.

Her lips tasted like blood.

I could hear her heart, thumping unevenly. Keep it going, I thought fiercely at her, blowing another gust of air into her body. You promised. Keep your heart beating.

At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if Meyer had Jacob exhale so hard that it bursts her lungs.

quote:

I heard the soft, wet sound of the scalpel across her stomach. More blood dripping to the floor.

The next sound jolted through me, unexpected, terrifying. Like metal being shredded apart. The sound brought back the fight in the clearing so many months ago, the tearing sound of the newborns being ripped apart. I glanced over to see Edward�s face pressed against the bulge. Vampire teeth�a surefire way to cut through vampire skin.

quote:

I shuddered as I blew more air into Bella.

She coughed back at me, her eyes blinking, rolling blindly.

�You stay with me now, Bella!� I yelled at her. �Do you hear me? Stay! You�re not leaving me. Keep your heart beating!�

Her eyes wheeled, looking for me, or him, but seeing nothing.

I stared into them anyway, keeping my gaze locked there.

And then her body was suddenly still under my hands, though her breathing picked up roughly and her heart continued to thud. I realized the stillness meant that it was over. The internal beating was over. It must be out of her.

It was.

Edward whispered, �Renesmee.�

So Bella�d been wrong. It wasn�t the boy she�d imagined. No big surprise there. What hadn�t she been wrong about?

Even in the middle of this, they have to get a dig in at Bella.

quote:

I didn�t look away from her red-spotted eyes, but I felt her hands lift weakly.

�Let me�,� she croaked in a broken whisper. �Give her to me.�

I guess I should have known that he would always give her what she wanted, no matter how stupid her request might be. But I didn�t dream he would listen to her now. So I didn�t think to stop him.

Something warm touched my arm. That right there should have caught my attention. Nothing felt warm to me.

But I couldn�t look away from Bella�s face. She blinked and then stared, finally seeing something. She moaned out a strange, weak croon.

�Renes� mee. So� beautiful.�

"I....regret.....this name."

quote:

And then she gasped�gasped in pain.

By the time I looked, it was too late. Edward had snatched the warm, bloody thing out of her limp arms. My eyes flickered across her skin. It was red with blood�the blood that had flowed from her mouth, the blood smeared all over the creature, and fresh blood welling out of a tiny double-crescent bite mark just over her left breast.

�No, Renesmee,� Edward murmured, like he was teaching the monster manners.

Oh my God.

quote:

I didn�t look at him or it. I watched only Bella as her eyes rolled back into her head.

With a last dull ga-lump, her heart faltered and went silent.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKRPgJYHblo

Yes, that CGI baby is as creepy as you think it is. No, it's not the creepiest Renesmee you will see.

quote:

She missed maybe half of one beat, and then my hands were on her chest, doing compressions. I counted in my head, trying to keep the rhythm steady. One. Two. Three. Four.

Breaking away for a second, I blew another lungful of air into her.

I couldn�t see anymore. My eyes were wet and blurry. But I was hyperaware of the sounds in the room. The unwilling glug-glug of her heart under my demanding hands, the pounding of my own heart, and another�a fluttering beat that was too fast, too light. I couldn�t place it.

I forced more air down Bella�s throat.

�What are you waiting for?� I choked out breathlessly, pumping her heart again. One. Two. Three. Four.

�Take the baby,� Edward said urgently.

�Throw it out the window.� One. Two. Three. Four.

I can't take this seriously. I can't.

quote:

�Give her to me,� a low voice chimed from the doorway.

Edward and I snarled at the same time.

One. Two. Three. Four.

�I�ve got it under control,� Rosalie promised. �Give me the baby,Edward. I�ll take care of her until Bella��

I breathed for Bella again while the exchange took place. The fluttering thumpa-thumpa-thumpa faded away with distance.

I shouldn't need to remind everyone that CPR does not make your heart beat. It's not like pulling the starter cord on a lawnmower.

quote:

�Move your hands, Jacob.�

I looked up from Bella�s white eyes, still pumping her heart for her. Edward had a syringe in his hand�all silver, like it was made from steel.

�What�s that?�

His stone hand knocked mine out of the way. There was a tiny crunch as his blow broke my little finger. In the same second, he shoved the needle straight into her heart.

Oh, you thought the gratuitous injuries were done just because the birth was over?

quote:

�My venom,� he answered as he pushed the plunger down.

But....how did he get the venom in there? Nothing can pierce vampire skin except vampire and werewolf teeth. Did he drool into a cup for an hour?

quote:

I heard the jolt in her heart, like he�d shocked her with paddles.

�Keep it moving,� he ordered. His voice was ice, was dead. Fierce and unthinking. Like he was a machine.

I ignored the healing ache in my finger and started pumping her heart again. It was harder, as if her blood was congealing there�thicker and slower. While I pushed the now-viscous blood through her arteries, I watched what he was doing.

It was like he was kissing her, brushing his lips at her throat, at her wrists, into the crease at the inside of her arm. But I could hear the lush tearing of her skin as his teeth bit through, again and again, forcing venom into her system at as many points as possible. I saw his pale tongue sweep along the bleeding gashes, but before this could make me either sick or angry, I realized what he was doing. Where his tongue washed the venom over her skin, it sealed shut. Holding the poison and the blood inside her body.

This has got to be a fetish thing.

quote:

I blew more air into her mouth, but there was nothing there. Just the lifeless rise of her chest in response. I kept pumping her heart, counting, while he worked manically over her, trying to put her back together. All the king�s horses and all the king�s men�

But there was nothing there, just me, just him.

Working over a corpse.

Because that�s all that was left of the girl we both loved. This broken, bled-out, mangled corpse. We couldn�t put Bella together again.

This is one of those passages that you think is going to sound really clever, and then you sober up in the morning.

quote:

I knew it was too late. I knew she was dead. I knew it for sure because the pull was gone. I didn�t feel any reason to be here beside her. She wasn�t here anymore. So this body had no more draw for me. The senseless need to be near her had vanished.

Or maybe moved was the better word. It seemed like I felt the pull from the opposite direction now. From down the stairs, out the door. The longing to get away from here and never, ever come back.

Oh yeah, here we go.

quote:

�Go, then,� he snapped, and he hit my hands out of the way again, taking my place this time. Three fingers broken, it felt like.

I straightened them numbly, not minding the throb of pain.

Seriously, this is loving funny at this point. It's like Quentin Tarantino directed it. It's like the Sam Peckinpah's "Salad Days" skit from Monty Python. Every new page is some graphic injury out of nowhere.

quote:

He pushed her dead heart faster than I had. �She�s not dead,� he growled. �She�s going to be fine.�

I wasn�t sure he was talking to me anymore.

Turning away, leaving him with his dead, I walked slowly to the door. So slowly. I couldn�t make my feet move faster.

This was it, then. The ocean of pain. The other shore so far away across the boiling water that I couldn�t imagine it, much less see it.

I felt empty again, now that I�d lost my purpose. Saving Bella had been my fight for so long now. And she wouldn�t be saved. She�d willingly sacrificed herself to be torn apart by that monster�s young, and so the fight was lost. It was all over.

I shuddered at the sound coming from behind me as I plodded down the stairs�the sound of a dead heart being forced to thud.

I wanted to somehow pour bleach inside my head and let it fry my brain. To burn away the images left from Bella�s final minutes. I�d take the brain damage if I could get rid of that�the screaming, the bleeding, the unbearable crunching and snapping as the newborn monster tore through her from the inside out.�

I feel much the same!

quote:

I wanted to sprint away, to take the stairs ten at a time and race out the door, but my feet were heavy as iron and my body was more tired than it had ever been before. I shuffled down the stairs like a crippled old man.

I rested at the bottom step, gathering my strength to get out the door.

Rosalie was on the clean end of the white sofa, her back to me, cooing and murmuring to the blanket-wrapped thing in her arms. She must have heard me pause, but she ignored me, caught up in her moment of stolen motherhood. Maybe she would be happy now. Rosalie had what she wanted, and Bella would never come to take the creature from her. I wondered if that�s what the poisonous blonde had been hoping for all along.

She held something dark in her hands, and there was a greedy sucking sound coming from the tiny murderer she held.

The scent of blood in the air. Human blood. Rosalie was feeding it. Of course it would want blood. What else would you feed the kind of monster that would brutally mutilate its own mother? It might as well have been drinking Bella�s blood. Maybe it was.

Not like she's using it anymore.

quote:

My strength came back to me as I listened to the sound of the little executioner feeding.

Strength and hate and heat�red heat washing through my head, burning but erasing nothing. The images in my head were fuel, building up the inferno but refusing to be consumed. I felt the tremors rock me from head to toe, and I did not try to stop them.

Rosalie was totally absorbed in the creature, paying no attention to me at all. She wouldn�t be quick enough to stop me, distracted as she was.

Sam had been right. The thing was an aberration�its existence went against nature. A black, soulless demon. Something that had no right to be.

Something that had to be destroyed.

It seemed like the pull had not been leading to the door after all. I could feel it now, encouraging me, tugging me forward. Pushing me to finish this, to cleanse the world of this abomination.

Again, this would be a great horror concept.

quote:

Rosalie would try to kill me when the creature was dead, and I would fight back. I wasn�t sure if I would have time to finish her before the others came to help. Maybe, maybe not. I didn�t much care either way.

I didn�t care if the wolves, either set, avenged me or called the Cullens� justice fair. None of that mattered. All I cared about was my own justice. My revenge. The thing that had killed Bella would not live another minute longer.

If Bella�d survived, she would have hated me for this. She would have wanted to kill me personally.

But I didn�t care. She didn�t care what she had done to me�letting herself be slaughtered like an animal. Why should I take her feelings into account?

And then there was Edward. He must be too busy now�too far gone in his insane denial, trying to reanimate a corpse�to listen to my plans.

Honestly, all of this poo poo does seem really hosed up from the perspective of an outsider who doesn't have insane love for this monster baby.

quote:

So I wouldn�t get the chance to keep my promise to him, unless�and it was not a wager I�d put money on�I managed to win the fight against Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice, three on one. But even if I did win, I didn�t think I had it in me to kill Edward.

Because I didn�t have enough compassion for that. Why should I let him get away from what he�d done? Wouldn�t it be more fair�more satisfying�to let him live with nothing, nothing at all?

He knows that Edward would take way too goddamn long to even commit suicide after that.

quote:

It made me almost smile, as filled with hate as I was, to imagine it. No Bella. No killer spawn. And also missing as many members of his family as I was able to take down. Of course, he could probably put those back together, since I wouldn�t be around to burn them. Unlike Bella, who would never be whole again.

I wondered if the creature could be put back together. I doubted it. It was part Bella, too�so it must have inherited some of her vulnerability. I could hear that in the tiny, thrumming beat of its heart.

Its heart was beating. Hers wasn�t.

Only a second had passed as I made these easy decisions.

The trembling was getting tighter and faster. I coiled myself, preparing to spring at the blond vampire and rip the murderous thing from her arms with my teeth.

Rosalie cooed at the creature again, setting the empty metal bottle-thing aside and lifting the creature into the air to nuzzle her face against its cheek.

Perfect. The new position was perfect for my strike. I leaned forward and felt the heat begin to change me while the pull toward the killer grew�it was stronger than I�d ever felt it before, so strong it reminded me of an Alpha�s command, like it would crush me if I didn�t obey.

This time I wanted to obey.

Again, a book for teenage girls.

quote:

The murderer stared past Rosalie�s shoulder at me, its gaze more focused than any newborn creature�s gaze should be.

Warm brown eyes, the color of milk chocolate�the exact same color that Bella�s had been.

My shaking jerked to a stop; heat flooded through me, stronger than before, but it was a new kind of heat�not a burning.

It was a glowing.

Everything inside me came undone as I stared at the tiny porcelain face of the half-vampire, half-human baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was�my love for the dead girl upstairs, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self�disconnected from me in that second�snip, snip, snip�and floated up into space. I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was.

Not one string, but a million. Not strings, but steel cables. A million steel cables all tying me to one thing�to the very center of the universe.

I could see that now�how the universe swirled around this one point. I�d never seen the symmetry of the universe before, but now it was plain.

The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood.

It was the baby girl in the blond vampire�s arms that held me here now.

Renesmee.

Oh, whoops.

quote:

From upstairs, there was a new sound. The only sound that could touch me in this endless instant.

A frantic pounding, a racing beat�

A changing heart.

# ? Jun 5, 2020 15:23

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

Y'know, call me crazy, but I'm starting to wonder if Stephanie Meyer doesn't actually like being a mother.

# ? Jun 5, 2020 15:27

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL: Feb 21, 2006; Holy Moly! DARKSEID IS!

I read many of the later das_sporking Twilight entries as they were published and several times they reminded people their community wasn�t the place to speculate deeply on Meyer�s personal life, but what this chapter, some later chapters, and some of Meyer�s forum posts indicated.... :smith:

# ? Jun 5, 2020 17:13

Grammarchist: Jan 28, 2013

Jacob had better be under the influence of "vampire child protective mind control" or something. The alternative is horrifying.

Also, picturing Carlisle getting a phone call in which he only hears Rosalie hissing while everyone else is shouting incoherently in the background.

# ? Jun 5, 2020 18:27

Midjack: Dec 24, 2007

chitoryu12 posted:

Chapter 18: There Are No Words For This

You got that right!

Mmm yeah that was really excellent writing and definitely not weird at all.

Cythereal posted:

Y'know, call me crazy, but I'm starting to wonder if Stephanie Meyer doesn't actually like being a mother.

That�s what I take away from the whole vampbabby subplot.

# ? Jun 5, 2020 18:29

Grammarchist: Jan 28, 2013

Hi, Billy Mays here with Vampire Teeth (TM). Vampire Skin getting you down? Then you need to get some Vampire Teeth, a surefire way to cut through Vampire Skin.

# ? Jun 5, 2020 18:43

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Grammarchist posted:

Jacob had better be under the influence of "vampire child protective mind control" or something. The alternative is horrifying.

Yeah, Jacob imprinting on a newborn would be pretty horrifying, wouldn't it?

# ? Jun 5, 2020 19:11

Up Circle: Apr 3, 2008

was that chapter supposed to make me feel any particular feelings, other than being grossed out?

# ? Jun 5, 2020 19:13

Dienes: Nov 4, 2009; dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot; College Slice

chitoryu12 posted:

Yeah, Jacob imprinting on a newborn would be pretty horrifying, wouldn't it?

Imagine if the vampires took Jacob's imprinting as evidence that it IS a vampire child, and suddenly everyone's positions flip, with werewolves defending it and the Cullans attacking it.

# ? Jun 5, 2020 19:36

MrNemo: Aug 26, 2010; "I just love beeting off"

Honestly, it being some kind of horrifying vampire child that is able to dramatically affect other vampires and humans would be a really cool horror twist. Bella ending up being immune to it and slowly coming to the realization that no one else around her is acting anywhere near normal, watching as the Cullens start massacring the people of Forks to feed it, people offering themselves up happy to be drained by an infant that also loves Bella...

It's a concept really ripe not only for horror but also exploring ideas of a parent being responsible for their child even if that child becomes a monster (thinking of like facing your son becoming a serial killer). Combined with the parallels of imprinting and super vampire mind control, the horror of one's 'free will' being at the whim of chemistry or outside forces, a good writer could follow up that gross out body horror with a really impactful exploration of psychological horror.

I think the thing of Meyer being a lazy and incurious writer who manages to repeatedly come up with interesting ideas or characters to only to ignore them or explore them in the most dull and disappointing way possible is pretty accurate. Also super creepy ways.

# ? Jun 5, 2020 22:19

Anias: Jun 3, 2010; It really is a lovely hat

Twilight as an idea is really interesting with all sorts of potentially nice things to explore. The execution....well. Remember way back in book one when Rene and Charlie totally believe Bella fell down the stairs? After all this would you believe SMeyer's other books have equally interesting premises and terrible to horrifying execution? That's kinda how R and C feel about B. "Sure sounds plausible. You say she managed to knock over the building? Oh bells..."

(They do, or at least "The Host" does, I haven't checked her bibliography recently)

# ? Jun 6, 2020 01:22

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Anias posted:

Twilight as an idea is really interesting with all sorts of potentially nice things to explore. The execution....well. Remember way back in book one when Rene and Charlie totally believe Bella fell down the stairs? After all this would you believe SMeyer's other books have equally interesting premises and terrible to horrifying execution? That's kinda how R and C feel about B. "Sure sounds plausible. You say she managed to knock over the building? Oh bells..."

(They do, or at least "The Host" does, I haven't checked her bibliography recently)

The Host and The Chemist are actually her only non-Twilight books ever written, other than two short stories. She wasn't a writer in any capacity before the sudden popularity of Twilight and never planned for fame, so she seems to have just been flying by the seat of her pants since. It's why the Twilight series progresses randomly without any sense of advance planning and she barely writes anything else. Supposedly The Host has even more Mormon stuff but I haven't read it. I have a copy next to me but it's the size of a brick.

# ? Jun 6, 2020 02:55

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Okay I read the first few chapters of The Host and flipped to a few other random pages and it's no better. She improved nothing about her writing style or worldbuilding at all. I don't think I would even have the energy to do a thread on it.

# ? Jun 6, 2020 03:13

Shwoo: Jul 21, 2011

...Did Bella start to miscarry because she leaned over to pick something up? Is that a thing?

Also, Stephenie Meyer said that she gave Edward and Bella's child a silly name because she wanted it to be unique, like Renesmee herself. But it's already been made clear that other women have given birth to vampire-human hybrids, so what's so unique about Renesmee? That she's a child of a vegetarian vampire?

They should have split the difference in terms of names and called her Renesmeeej not matter what her gender actually was. It can't be any sillier than what it already is.

# ? Jun 6, 2020 05:15

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# ? May 25, 2024 02:35

Anias: Jun 3, 2010; It really is a lovely hat

chitoryu12 posted:

Okay I read the first few chapters of The Host and flipped to a few other random pages and it's no better. She improved nothing about her writing style or worldbuilding at all. I don't think I would even have the energy to do a thread on it.

I�ll do a post hitting the highlights. Obv spoilers The Host Here we go:

The premise is great. Earth has been invaded by bodysnatching symbiotes. Humans lost. Humans are now hosts. Our protagonist is �the wanderer� and she�s nothing special. She�s on a routine post invasion mission and going to find some rebel humans. She�s given a host named Melanie. Normally the hosts are convinced to go dormant, but Melanie has memories wanderer needs, so the usual methods won�t work. Eventually wanderer decides to betray her species. Presumably for Melanie and her memories. This could be such a good story but Meyer is writing so no. When she does this, she has to travel through Mordor (the desert) to deliver the ring (melanies body) to the mountain (the hideout in a cave)...You�ve probably seen this heroes journey so good news it is described In the same way Bella talks about her revelations and then cut very short when wanderer drinks all her water and passes out. She is luckily found by uncle jeb, who is the leader of this cell and also some kinda Moses figure. He takes her to the cave. Melanies boyfriend backhands her as soon as she regains consciousness and they throw her in the oubliette which Meyer has never heard of so describes in detail because of course she does. Meyer has also never been in a cave in her life. Thus begins the exciting no agency protagonist period where she is held by crazy militia people, leads on the boy that is only sort of complicit in the other boy beating her, and is generally confused. Eventually she decides to help the humans get medical treatment, and earns her place in the tribe by being able to go to the invading civ walmart�s and buy nanomeds. Finally, confronted by her boss (The Seeker) and overcome with guilt she helps the humans surgically remove The Seeker and then blast The Seeker into space. Don�t get your hopes up, she helped the humans hijack a cryogenic rocket pod the size of a dorm fridge. (Meyers understanding of actual physics/space flight/etc is bad folks). Yes it makes no sense when you read it too. Eventually, after helping several other humans so the local doc can learn how to do this, and suffering acceptable losses of symbiotes and humans that would make me get loving squirm, she decides to �give� Melanie her body back. The plan is for Wanderer to return to space. The humans, not satisfied with her choice, implant her into a different body. She wakes up, and in this new body realizes she really does love the slightly less a abusive boy. She goes on another supply run for her humans, and maybe also makes friends with Melanie. On the supply run they meet another alien that is helping their own band of humans. Cue sequel?

If you want to read a book that fails to explore all sorts of things it hints at, enjoy?!

# ? Jun 6, 2020 05:45

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Where It All Began - Let's Read the Twilight Series

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