r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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Peaceful Anarchy: Sep 18, 2005; sXe
I am the math man.

Sunswipe posted:

I bet the teenager loves sharing a bed with an 8 year-old.

He doesn't. The two 8 year old twins share a bad, now with dad.

# ? Jun 8, 2020 20:40

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# ? May 27, 2024 00:12

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

e;fb

# ? Jun 8, 2020 20:49

Zeeman: May 8, 2007; Say WHAT?! You KNOW that post is wack, homie!

Why were 8 year old twins sharing a king bed in the first place, what a bizarre sleeping arrangement

# ? Jun 8, 2020 20:53

SIDS Vicious: Jan 1, 1970

Zeeman posted:

Why were 8 year old twins sharing a king bed in the first place, what a bizarre sleeping arrangement

My one and a half year old has recently taken over my wife and I's brand new king size bed and we are sleeping on our old mattress in the living room

# ? Jun 8, 2020 20:54

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

Oh, this is my dad except he's gotten significantly more chill and less terrible over the years. But he still sucks and I have no clue why my mom is still married to him!

Does he still insist in sleeping in your bed with you?

# ? Jun 8, 2020 21:02

Cough Drop The Beat: Jan 22, 2012; by Lowtax

Batterypowered7 posted:

Does he still insist in sleeping in your bed with you?

Man, I wish I had a king size bed when I was a kid.

# ? Jun 8, 2020 21:19

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Peaceful Anarchy posted:

He doesn't. The two 8 year old twins share a bad, now with dad.

Whoops, misread. That's still weird, right? I've got two sisters and they had to share a bedroom when we were kids, but they didn't have to share a bed.

# ? Jun 8, 2020 21:26

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Tomfoolery posted:

New Zealand has no current Covid cases and is basically open for business. She must really love her boyfriend to want to stay with him / his lovely parents instead of enjoying a Covid-free existence.

If she�s outside, she probably has some tedious quarantine procedure waiting for her to reenter the country. Plus the travel costs of flying there and back once school opens back up, unless OP is in Australia.

# ? Jun 8, 2020 21:35

Tashilicious: Jul 17, 2016; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Mikl posted:

"Be the bigger person" is code for "let someone who despises you walk all over you" apparently?

havent had much experience with abusive families, have you?

# ? Jun 8, 2020 21:35

Tetramin: Apr 1, 2006; I'ma buck you up.

I dunno young kids or twins needing to share a bed for a little while isn�t crazy uncommon. Pretty sure I know a few families who needed to do that. The bed is not even close to that posters issue lol

# ? Jun 8, 2020 21:35

No Pants: Dec 10, 2000

empty sea posted:

I had geese as a teen and let me tell you, they are vengeful creatures who will gleefully run up to you, knowing you feed and shelter them, and still nonetheless grab your pantsleg in their beak and twist and jerk it furiously with all their might because they think it's your flesh and they are composed entirely of hate.

My grandparents had a ton of farm fowl at their place, and the domestic geese were the worst. Giant, aggressive assholes that eventually replaced all the grass in their yard with poo poo, and you had to be on the lookout every time you went outside because they would sneak up and bite your rear end (specifically your butt).

# ? Jun 8, 2020 22:01

LadyPictureShow: Nov 18, 2005; Success!

Zeeman posted:

Why were 8 year old twins sharing a king bed in the first place, what a bizarre sleeping arrangement

quote:

Because they wanted something they can jump on.

"And they can't jump on a twin size bed?"

quote:

Because a twin sized bed doesn't make a good wrestling ring.

# ? Jun 8, 2020 22:07

Tashilicious: Jul 17, 2016; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

hang on those are good points

# ? Jun 8, 2020 22:08

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

teen witch posted:

AITA for having my son fill out a job application after a store employee/close friend asked him not to?

I�m not going to post the rest of the OPs comments as they�re just as bad as you think they are

deon cole's son working for a pet store now?

# ? Jun 8, 2020 22:23

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

your parents divorcing loving rules sometimes. there's no hiding when two people who dont belong together are locked in a relationship pact. plus maybe you'll get double christmases sometimes.

# ? Jun 8, 2020 22:49

An Actual Princess: Dec 23, 2006

Khanstant posted:

your parents divorcing loving rules sometimes. there's no hiding when two people who dont belong together are locked in a relationship pact. plus maybe you'll get double christmases sometimes.

this tbh; my parents were divorced and that meant i got double christmases every year. plus i didn't have to listen to them yelling and arguing all the time. it was win/win for everyone.

# ? Jun 8, 2020 23:05

Fatkraken: Jun 23, 2005; Fun-time is over.

Divorce is cool and good and more people should do it.

# ? Jun 8, 2020 23:19

Khanstant: Apr 5, 2007

I'll divorce anyone who wants to right now, anybody, I don't care who you are.

# ? Jun 8, 2020 23:23

Scald: May 5, 2008; Can't post for 26 years!

spacetoaster posted:

Holy poo poo. So many giant problems could be avoided if people could just keep the horrible thoughts they have on the inside.

un-uttered truths become poisonous

# ? Jun 8, 2020 23:32

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Khanstant posted:

I'll divorce anyone who wants to right now, anybody, I don't care who you are.

Not if I divorce you first!

# ? Jun 8, 2020 23:33

Puppy Time: Mar 1, 2005

Yup just gonna stay together for the kids, teaching them over the years that relationships are bound with bitterness, disinterest, and constant fighting. This is definitely a superior outcome to no longer being yoked to someone I don't like.

ETA: Also, gonna divorce when they become adults, teaching them that they can never trust a relationship not to end suddenly, and guilting them with the fact that they were the reason their parents suffered for years and years instead of finding a less lovely living arrangement.

# ? Jun 8, 2020 23:38

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

The difference between masturbating to porn and someone in your real world (e.g. ex, work colleagues, facebook friends etc )

quote:

Bit of as ask reddit and relationship advice combined here... I have seen this come up quite alot on here but still in need of asking the question myself and hearing the opinions of you all.

My (26F) boyfriend (35M) has in the past been jerking it to videos of his ex girlfriend and I have been unfortunate enough to catch him out doing this.

We have spoken about how i see it compared to how he does and he has told me it doesn't mean he wants to be with this person it is just another form of porn to him. In the same way that anyone watches any type of porn. With this, I strongly disagree.

I have told him that I will never see it from his point of view and that he needs to stop but he continues to try and make me see it from his point of view and to make me feel ok with the fact that this is normal to him and also that this is a private part of his life that doesn't concern me.

I understand that not everyone has the same views in the world and that's ok but I don't know where to go from here.

My main question here is what is the difference to all of you and would you ever be able to just be ok with the fact he uses real people in our life to pleasure himself to?

My age gap BF is telling me this is normal sexual behavior, is it?

One of those great "the answer is in the question" concepts.

# ? Jun 9, 2020 00:03

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

LadyPictureShow posted:

"And they can't jump on a twin size bed?"

Ok, given this in the comments he is the best dad ever and every bad thing is mom's fault, full stop.

Also it's sweet that he likes to tuck his boys in. In some countries parents share a bed with their kids until puberty.

# ? Jun 9, 2020 00:06

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

therobit posted:

Ok, given this in the comments he is the best dad ever and every bad thing is mom's fault, full stop.

Also it's sweet that he likes to tuck his boys in. In some countries parents share a bed with their kids until puberty.

But is it totally normal in Europe?

# ? Jun 9, 2020 00:07

Puppy Time: Mar 1, 2005

Bed sharing could be an issue if the kids feel like it's weird or uncomfortable, but it's not inherently harmful to co-sleep with kids at any age or relationship. You could argue that the modern Western setup is more likely to be harmful, since it goes against how things were done for centuries/millennia. (I am not arguing that.)

pentyne posted:

The difference between masturbating to porn and someone in your real world (e.g. ex, work colleagues, facebook friends etc )

My age gap BF is telling me this is normal sexual behavior, is it?

One of those great "the answer is in the question" concepts.

I like how BF holds both "this is my private time and not your business" and also "but it's totally normal and cool and you should also think it's normal and cool."

Couldn't say whether there's a big problem in him jerkin to his ex, but there is a HUGE problem with him not even trying to engage with his current partner's discomfort.

# ? Jun 9, 2020 00:13

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Puppy Time posted:

Bed sharing could be an issue if the kids feel like it's weird or uncomfortable, but it's not inherently harmful to co-sleep with kids at any age or relationship. You could argue that the modern Western setup is more likely to be harmful, since it goes against how things were done for centuries/millennia. (I am not arguing that.)

I like how BF holds both "this is my private time and not your business" and also "but it's totally normal and cool and you should also think it's normal and cool."

Couldn't say whether there's a big problem in him jerkin to his ex, but there is a HUGE problem with him not even trying to engage with his current partner's discomfort.

Sure these things happen without the age gap, but you'll get a regular post where a girl says "Hey, my bf is insisting I have to blow him every night or he gets migraines, this is insane right" and everyone laughs that he's trying something so dumb and the OP breaks up with him.

If it's a agegap post its "I've been doing this for 6 months and I don't like it but I don't want him to think I'm weird what can I do?"

# ? Jun 9, 2020 00:29

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for telling my mother-in-law she's a terrible parent?

DCF is apparently child services, btw.

Mikl posted:

"Be the bigger person" is code for "let someone who despises you walk all over you" apparently?

In my experience, yep. Has been ever since I was a kid at school. It can also mean "What is harming or bothering you doesn't bother me, but you bitching about it does, so shut up."

# ? Jun 9, 2020 00:43

SoftNum: Mar 31, 2011

pentyne posted:

The difference between masturbating to porn and someone in your real world (e.g. ex, work colleagues, facebook friends etc )

My age gap BF is telling me this is normal sexual behavior, is it?

One of those great "the answer is in the question" concepts.

The answer here is clearly to start doing it back, as it were... solicit porn of one if his friends and go to town. See how long he thinks it's ok.

# ? Jun 9, 2020 00:54

Puppy Time: Mar 1, 2005

Midnight Voyager posted:

In my experience, yep. Has been ever since I was a kid at school. It can also mean "What is harming or bothering you doesn't bother me, but you bitching about it does, so shut up."

Ideally, it's supposed to be a deescalation thing, where you don't go aggro on milder slights because that'll just lead to everyone involved getting hosed up, and probably a few people who weren't involved.

In practice, yeah, it's used as a status quo enforcement way too often, which is why so many people go the Karen route: they know that it'll get them what they want because people value peace over fairness in a lot of settings.

# ? Jun 9, 2020 01:00

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

AITA for telling my friend his frosted tips make him look like a guy named Zack?

quote:

Yes this is a validation thing, i dont think what i said was very offensive. For clarity, he had a brother named Zack who died like a year ago who i never met. He got super touchy and stuff when i made fun of the name zack. As if people arent allowed to hace the same name. i didnt do it with the intent to hurt his feelings. the existence of his brother, andhis subsequent death slipped my mind

# ? Jun 9, 2020 03:32

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for telling my friend his frosted tips make him look like a guy named Zack?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qc_PO32nT4g

# ? Jun 9, 2020 03:33

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

AITA I arrested my friend�s dnd character.

quote:

So I�m dmming a campaign and this just happened yesterday, I know I�m probably in the wrong here but I need another opinion. (I want you to keep in mind we�re all under the age of 16 so we�re all very chaotic and this is a homebrew)

My friend has this character named G-Nome (yes it�s a nickname). Their character is supposed to be the chaotic comedic relief of the group, I even helped them create the character. I was fine with them making chaotic jokes and doing that stuff because they never broke the immersion. But this last session broke me, it was their fourth session after being added in. We had just started playing over zoom and one of my friends was trying to find G-Nome. They eventually found each other when G-Nome said he was �hearing something from god�, then my friend started to recite the bee movie script.

I didn�t know when it was going to end so I muted them, we really needed to get going on the session. My friend immediately flipped me off multiple times after I muted them (everyone does it when I mute them so I don�t think they�re actually mad). I was already quite angry that they pulled the whole bee movie thing because it broke the immersion that we were playing dnd (also, how the heck would g-nome know about the bee movie). So me being petty, I had the guards come over and ask if G-nome was propagating his religion (which is illegal). G-nome said it was a joke and it was from the bee movie. That prompted the guards to ask about a movie and they said he had to pay a fine of 50 gold.

Now I do admit that was a lot, but I didn�t think this would happen. Then my friend decided to argue back and forth with me (in character) for 30 mins saying how they believed in the bee movie in his land and how he wasn�t from there so he didn�t have to abide by the laws, etc. Now I ended up with the guards putting him in cuffs and the thing that really made me angry happened. My friend said that what the guards we�re doing was inherently racist (speciesist?) and unlawful since he was just not complying to pay and he shouldn�t be restrained.

D&D is my escape, and them saying this just accused me of making my guards like the police force here in the US. I had G-Nome put in jail until the next round of the games that they were doing (which was at noon that same day, so only like 2 hours in jail). When the games rolled around though, my friend refused to play and do the games this round. I understand why they were angry and I�ve already apologized multiple times but I honestly don�t think the arrest was that big of a deal. Please be brutally honest am I the A-hole?

# ? Jun 9, 2020 03:38

CherryCola: Apr 15, 2002; 'ahtaj alshifa

empty sea posted:

I had geese as a teen and let me tell you, they are vengeful creatures who will gleefully run up to you, knowing you feed and shelter them, and still nonetheless grab your pantsleg in their beak and twist and jerk it furiously with all their might because they think it's your flesh and they are composed entirely of hate. They will also beat at your legs with their wings while they try their damndest to rend and tear your "flesh" until you kick and kick at them and they finally give up.

But they will lurk behind you. And hiss and stalk you to attack you whenever they think they can get away with it. Kill all geese. I wore jeans all summer, every summer in the South because of that poo poo.

That being said, they are loving fantastic guard dogs because they will honk crazily whenever anyone comes onto the property. And after the honking, they probably try to rend any new person or animal with their beaks because they are evil and don't know the meaning of fear.

Guinea hens are better guards IMO, because they will also call incessantly when someone or something new arrives but also they will never attack you because they are cowards.

In short, if you live near a tractor supply and want some super cheap guard dogs, grab some guinea hen chicks.

My aunt had a flock of Guinea hens and was forced to get rid of them because they decided they owned the entire small town she lives in and cornered her neighbor in his garage.

I convinced her to name the alpha Guinea Loggins though, so that was fun.

# ? Jun 9, 2020 03:42

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

AITA for reminding my sister that she is dumb after she keeps reminding me that I am the affair baby

quote:

Throwaway because I don't want my older sister to read this

My older sister hates me. She bully's me all the time stalks me on face book and tells all my friends that I am an affair baby. My mom cheated on my sisters father with my father who is rich and a genius. So today I was walking down the stairs as mom have a partial custody and my older sister came and told me hey affair baby I hope you don't ruing anyone else family.

Then I was pissed because this was like the 100 time my sister told me that. I told my sister hey maybe my mom cheated because your father was dumb and stupid like you on some one who was much smarter .

My sister dropped out of high school and went back to high school and got expelled from the school. While I am an a and b student who takes honors and ap classes. My mom and father are in the lower middle class while my father who is in the upper middle class. My sister then screamed and cried and left. My sister father came in and told me I was a horrible person and called me a piece of trash. my sisters father has not held a job in like two years.

My sister is 16 and I am 15.

So aita for reminding my sister she is dumb after she keeps reminding me that I am the affair baby

# ? Jun 9, 2020 04:25

threelemmings: Dec 4, 2007; A jellyfish!

CherryCola posted:

My aunt had a flock of Guinea hens and was forced to get rid of them because they decided they owned the entire small town she lives in and cornered her neighbor in his garage.

I convinced her to name the alpha Guinea Loggins though, so that was fun.

A lot of folks pair em with chickens to keep them from just running amok. Guinea fowl are territorial but also kinda too dumb and wild to remember they can go home. They'll follow the chickens back when it gets to bedtime since they flock strongly they just assume the chickens know what they're doing.

Guinea fowl are just overall really weird lil bug eating noisy bastards.

threelemmings fucked around with this message at 04:36 on Jun 9, 2020

# ? Jun 9, 2020 04:28

tinytort: Jun 10, 2013; Super healthy, super cheap

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for reminding my sister that she is dumb after she keeps reminding me that I am the affair baby

ESH. They're both dumb teens who need to be separated from each other before one of them chews the limbs off of the other.

# ? Jun 9, 2020 04:29

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

AITA for pointing out that my mom is as much of a gold digger as my sister's bf?

quote:

My (21f) mom (53) met my dad (54) in college. My dad comes from old family money, but my mom's family was very middle-class. But when my sister (24) and I were growing up, my mom acted like she had always been upper class, and is very snobbish. I remember how we would go to dinner with her siblings and she would insist on choosing the restaurant to make sure it was "up to her standards" make a big show of paying the bill, and then would poo poo-talk her siblings and their spouses/kids the whole way home, making fun of their clothes, cars, jobs, you name it. She has always placed importance on whoever was wealthiest/had the "best" family, and wouldn't let my sister and I hang out with kids after school who weren't up to her "standards." It's made our relationship a little strained, especially since she obsesses about these things today, but she's my mom and I love her.

Anyways, due to covid I'm staying with my parents since my college sent everybody home. My sister is living in another state, but we have family Zoom calls once a week. On one of the early Zoom calls, my sister told us that she had a new boyfriend and they ended up moving in together for quarantine (my sister has her own apartment which my parents pay for partially). They go to the same law school, and he seemed very sweet when we talked to him. My mom started in with the "parents/childhood/plans" line of questioning. He told her that he had gotten a scholarship for law school since his dad was a construction worker and his mom was a preschool teacher, and that he grew up in a small town. My mom was super chilly to him after this, and afterwards went on a rant about how he "wasn't good enough for [sister]" and how "he just wants her money after all." My dad and I thought she'd stop, but she did this every. single. call. Super cold to a perfectly nice guy, and ranting and talking trash about him afterwards. She did the whole thing again after our most recent call, and I was pretty fed up. I asked her to stop saying that stuff and she said it was the truth, that he was just a gold digger. I asked her how she was different from him since she grew up a lot like him and asked if she just wanted dad's money after all.

She got super upset with me and didn't tell me to get out or anything but she's been sort of ignoring me since then and makes passive aggressive comments or mentioning how she's been crying. My dad talked to me after dinner and said that I really hurt her feelings and she just wants to make sure my sister ends up with a good guy even if she doesn't seem like it. He said that she was just trying to be a good mom and I upset her. I feel really bad- she can be annoying at times but she is my mom and I don't want to hurt her. AITA?

EDIT: Wow, thank you everyone who replied! I did not expect this many comments. I'm trying to answer as many questions as I can, but it may take a while. I really appreciate all the help, and I'll definitely use some of your scripts next time she starts ranting about my sister's bf.

Enjoyed this one

Irony here is that OP's mom was a much harder gold-digger by her own standards. Dude in the story is self-funding his way through law school in 2020 (for better or for worse I'm not saying this is necessarily a good idea), OP's mom went to college in the 80's when it was super cheap and just married someone from a wealthy family right out the gate.

ArbitraryC fucked around with this message at 04:40 on Jun 9, 2020

# ? Jun 9, 2020 04:35

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

AITA for always telling my disfigured virgin twin brother about my successful sex life when he has a hard time dating?

quote:

We are 27 year old twins, he lives on his own and so do I. We hang out a few times a week, I usually go to his place.

When my brother was 17 he got hit by a drunk driver. He became disfigured, semi blind in one eye, had to get jaw surgeries, and his head is scared and he is missing his right ear. My brother is a virgin. Idk if that makes him an incel because when I asked him he didn't even know what it meant. We have always been close and I've always told him about my dating life.

Last week I went to my brothers house and I started complaining about girl I had a one night stand with. I noticed that my brother started to get annoyed. When I asked me what was wrong my brother blew up and started crying like I've never seen him cry before. He told me that he's tired of always listening to me talk about dating and having sex with girls, when he's disfigured, and he has a hard time dating. He said that I don't know what it's like to be disfigured, to feel like the ugly twin duckling, to have kids scared of me, to have women tell me to my face that I'm gross or they would date me only if I looked normal. That I'm the good looking twin. That he deals with something permanent from someone elses mistake (the drunk driver).

He said that he feels undesirable, unwanted, less of a man, he struggles with being a 27 year old virgin and after years of rejections and being lonely, it's taking a toll on him. That it's hard to him to hear me talking about my success when he can only dream of achieving the same things. He said it's like listening a rich person complain about rich people problems when you're poor.

I do acknowledge his disadvantage, I understand how society mistreats disfigured people, how hard dating is for disfigured people, I never gaslight him and tell him it's all in his head, I always acknowledge he has a harder time. I'm pretty sure that if I were in his shoes I would struggle with sadness and depression and loneliness also.

I said that I never thought that just because he has a hard time, that means I can't tell him anything and talk to him like I always have. I assumed he could separate those feelings when it comes to our brotherly interactions. In the end of the day I still want a brother that I can talk to about "bro stuff" like sports, girls, parties, etc.

I asked him why didn't he tell me earlier and he told me that he didn't want to disappoint me, but that he's at a point where he can no longer tolerate listening to me talk about my success because it reminds him of his failures and it's affecting him mentally. He said that if I wanna talk to him about a long term relationship, or a wife, that's fine, because they might become family, but he no longer wishes to hear me talk about sex and hookups.

Since then my brother has avoided my phone calls, he always tells me he's busy now. AITA?

# ? Jun 9, 2020 04:38

threelemmings: Dec 4, 2007; A jellyfish!

He's definitely thoughtless but unless I misinterpreted it seems like he gets it and wasn't actually trying to be a dick to his brother. Just didn't think about it.

More of a sad one, sucks all around for everyone.

# ? Jun 9, 2020 04:42

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# ? May 27, 2024 00:12

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

threelemmings posted:

He's definitely thoughtless but unless I misinterpreted it seems like he gets it and wasn't actually trying to be a dick to his brother. Just didn't think about it.

More of a sad one, sucks all around for everyone.

It's p hard not to think about that, I would say if they were super young it could be a mistake but if they're 27 OP has basically gotta be a narcissist or sociopath to not connect those dots.

# ? Jun 9, 2020 04:45

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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