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Thx. Looking forward to it.
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Jun 2, 2020 19:59
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Grabbing the heck out of that book, can't wait to read it.
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Jun 3, 2020 20:46
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Curse of the Azure Bonds, Chapter 8: OSHA Compliance   We will, Tyranthraxus! Will you please stop doing that? I don't even know who Tyranthraxus is! You could save us a lot of time here by ownin' up to it.  Welcome back to the Gold Box Adventures! Today, we'll be paying a visit to Yulash.  Seen here. Bad poo poo went down in Yulash—before we got there, for once—and we need to go investigate.   Along the way, we pick up some levels. Sternn grabs Haste since it's never a bad idea to learn boss nukes.  Meanwhile, Rezen is literally running the game out of spells. This will not be the case in the future, but the cap on Curse for mages is 11, and we're getting right up there. By the way, did you know a 10th level mage in D&D is called a necromancer? That's what it says right here in the manual. I don't think that means what they think it means.   Ah, the great outdoors! Sunshine, fresh air, crisp weather...   ...and people who want to kill us. I thought that was implied, yes.Along the way, we make some new friends. Red Plumes are (ostensibly) the good guys, but they saw our Zhentil tattoos, and that means we have to die.  Fire charisma   Good thing there's not an option to talk things out, or at least use non-lethal force. Nah, it's fireball time, and that's just the way it is.   Finally. Now, let's get in there and— Hey, look! It's Princess Whatsherface!    I would think running someone over with a horse merits more than a "sorry." You'd think!On the way into Yulash, you'll bump into Nacacia and Gharri again. Their only purpose is to run one of your guys over with a horse. Seriously. That's the last we'll see of them. These games, I swear...  Yo, ugly! Take us to your leader!  Oh, great. Every dimension you go to, there's a waiting room somewhere. Guess we're stuck with whatever magazines they left out. Oh, rad! Fashion Monthly! ...you read? Um, duh? Of course I read! Just not, y'know, nerd stuff. Nobody worry, we'll be out of here in no time. I'll give him a little bit of the ol' charisma, and we'll be moving right along. Yes, because that's worked so well in the past.   ow This is going down totally different than I thought it would. Looks like Zhentil Keep beat us here. I'm... not really sure how you fit 15 of the most obvious spies in the world into one room with the base commander. I mean, most of their sprites aren't even the same. I'm thinking the Red Plumes aren't exactly running a quality operation out here. Anyway, they're all bunched up against a wall, which means no fireballs for us.  We'll have to do this the hard way.  The cleric is the immediate threat, and a few Magic Missles will shut him up. We do not need to get hit with Hold Person with this many fighters hanging around.  Job #2 is to bum rush the mages up here. They have Shield active, so we're going to have to do our damage manually. This may mean giving their fighters free shots at our back as we send extra people in, but c'est la vie. We'd much rather take 5-10 damage once or twice than eat constant Magic Missles or, worse, Lightning Bolts.  Okay, that's under control. The fighters are still a problem, though, because they have a ton of HP and there's a lot of them. Fortunately, Chokes Has Played the Game Before™, which means Rezen just so happens to have memorized... well, you know.   We dump our paralytics, all of which are surprisingly effective, and clean up this fight in no time. Note that, without a high level mage paralyzing three to four people a round in addition to your cleric, this fight can get out of hand in a hurry. Even at level cap, you can't go toe to toe with an army this size, which makes you wonder why it's here in the first place. That's rhetorical, the answer is "bad game design." It will be a common theme.  Hi! We just beat up a bunch of Zhentarim! Don't kill us maybe? Hmm. Iiiii dunno, you have Zhentil Keep tattoos. Who cares? *slaps hand* Good guy mark. See? But, Zhentil Keep tattoos. But Swanmays! But!  I think he's stuck in an infinite loop. I know that feeling. Yeah. I'm surprised you can figure out breakfast some mornings, headband. I mean, eggs. What is even? Will you all please hush? I'm trying to do shorthand here.Journal Entry 22 posted:I don't know why you're crazy enough to want to go down the Pit of Moander, but I can give you free passage through the city. I can guarantee that Red Plumes not molest you, but this is still a city under siege, and I can't be nurse-maiding you around. It has been reported that Zhentil Keep has sent some terror teams to annoy us. Some shambling mounds have also been spotted somewhere to the east. Here's a map to the Pit and the locations of our checkpoints (see Journal Entry 52). You are welcome to rest in the barracks and eat in the trooper mess. I ve indicated them on the map as well. Oh, be careful; the walls and pavement in Yulash have endured some great strains recently; I can't vouch for their stability in most areas of the city. What the hell is a Moander, anyway? Oh, just a dying god of rot and vegetation. Some say he slumbers outside of this dimension, but his decaying body leaks into the Material plane from time to time and comes to life. That... is... disgusting. Tell me about it. Well, have fun wallowing in his filth! You know we will!   Everyone rest up. I get the feeling we'll need it. Ain't never met a problem some face punching won't solve. Are they even gonna have faces? Ehn, I just kinda locate the general area. If you punch it enough, it turns into a face. I don't think that's how biology works. You'd be surprised. doop dee doo oh hey guys! I think my memory's getting better! Mother of pearl How do you know that many spells?! Maybe it's this ring I found! The horned guy dropped it when he ran off. Is there an inscription on it? Oh, I see where this is going. "One ring to rule them all" or whatever. "Made in Indonesia." Or that. Sure, let's go with that.I didn't really go over the loot that Llewyn dropped after the fight, but among the many delightful items he had in that huge sack was a Ring of Wizardry. I'm not really sure why he wasn't wearing it, but... I mean, Llewyn. Anyone who was here for Paper Sorcerer can't be that surprised. Anyway, the Ring of Wizardry is a nifty little item that doubles the amount of mid level spells you can cast holy poo poo holy poo poo holy poo poo. Rez now knows eight Stinking Clouds and up to six Fireballs. Six fireballs is absolutely insane. We can spam our way through just about any encounter with two or three. This is "bust the game wide open" territory, and with Sternn along, we've basically reduced (most of) our fights into how fast we can fling large flaming orbs into the enemy ranks. We might as well get even with the game now before the last two sequels. It's all downhill from here. Now that we've broken the game's combat system, let's head out there and see what's waiting for us. How bad could it be?  Thanks! Do you want me to notify any next of kin while you're here? ...Yes, I'm sure everything will be fine. Nothing to worry about here. We have fireballs, after all.   Poor souls. :history: Put that down! What is wrong with you? We've been stabbed in the back before. This is the only way to be sure. Not wrong. Not helping. Hello. Are you all okay? See? They're not bad people. I JUDGE YOU GUILTY OF HIGH NERDERY :history: I don't know why I bother.Journal Entry 34 posted:"Yeah, well, watch yourself because there's lots of holes ya can't see and walls that are about to come down and brain you. The Red Plumes are crawling all over the place—and they have orders to kill any looters they find. You want to know where the pit is? You're crazy. It's in the north wall of the northeastern quadrant of the city. That place is enough to make you loony though. Some Red Plumes have jumped ship rather than go on guarding the place. Oh, yeah. The Plumies have set up some checkpoints all over the city. There's one just in front of The Pit and one at the commanders HQ. Can we go now?" Of course. Thanks for the heads up.  God dammit. Everything looks the exact same around here. How are we supposed to— *tackle* Wow. Thanks for the assist, Lincoln! ...what assist? ...While you're walking around the ruins of Yulash, there's a chance walls will collapse on you for minor but annoying amounts of damage. Having a thief in the party gives you an easy Detect Traps roll to avoid that particular flavor of bullshit. Sadly, it's not the only bullshit available on tap.   Let's go poke them! I don't get you, short stuff. I get that a lot. I don't know what that is, but I want it. I can't believe I'm saying this, but: same. I can't believe you're saying that either. Omigod, now say "totally!" Totally? Hmm. We'll get you there! Well, there they are. Go hog wild. I didn't mean actually poking them. It was, I dunno, a metaphor or something. Great. Now I have to do all the heavy lifting. Hey, you're built for it. *punch* *mush* You got this, buddy! *grumble*These are shambling mounds, which not only bearhug like owlbears but take half damage from pretty much any weapon. I mean, what did you expect? They're masses of rotting algae. I don't even think they have organs. That's not the worst bit, though.  Ha ha no but really, time to die  ... ... ...well. Well that's a problem.  Shambling mounds are immune to fireball, which creates all sorts of problems. Maybe having lightning bolts memorized helps out here, but when have we let a little thing like "proper tactics" or "wanting to win battles" stop us?  Fortunately, they still take damage from Magic Missle.  They're also affected by paralytics. Rez just so happens to have Hold Monster in the ol' spellbook and high enough level/INT to be effective with it.  The rest is academic. Still, better bring some high level mages along, or you're going to have a hell of a time hacking your way through the rest of this.  That's the last of 'em. Anybody got some hand sanitizer? Here? Don't drink it all? I need it back? Why would—y'know what? Never mind. So what exactly were those things freaking out about? *loots*  Well. It's not my preferred power tool, but...That wand is a Wand of Defoliation, which does... pretty much what you'd expect it to. Best of all, it's AoE! We now have an anti-plant fireball wand, which will come in handy very soon.   In additon, we'll occasionally bump into clerics of Moander as we wander around the ruins. They're not interested in a fight, for some reason. We'll find out why equally as soon.   Man, this place is not OSHA compliant. Do fantasy worlds even have OSHA?quote:
Seems as likely as anything else. lmao have fun in there  What the hell is a demesne? How the hell should I know? Why are you even asking? "n. Manorial land retained for the private use of a feudal lord." Where did you even get that? Over there. ...hmm. Looks like the party started without us. Omigod, I love parties! I wish I would've known. I would've, like, dressed up or something. Please tell me you're joking. Please. ... That's probably not great. Yeah. Definitely not great. omigod omigod we're trapped  walls closing in, gak, hack Oh, shut up. Guess the only way out is forward. They were ready for us to show up. This all seems suspiciously coordinated. Yeah. We're probably up against another one of those evil masterminds we keep bumping into. Let's get this bullshit over with before whoever's in charge notices we're here.Meanwhile... quote:
Next Time: Mouthing Off
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Jun 5, 2020 21:10
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Sorry, you know the rules. No hard hat, no access.
Here's a little something to pretend this never happened.
...so I say, planter? I hardly know her!
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Chokes McGee posted:Meanwhile, Rezen is literally running the game out of spells. This will not be the case in the future, but the cap on Curse for mages is 11, and we're getting right up there. By the way, did you know a 10th level mage in D&D is called a necromancer? That's what it says right here in the manual. I don't think that means what they think it means. It doesn't. A necromancer is someone who divines the future using bones. Yes, really, at least in real world terms. Anything you see with -mancer on it means someone divining the future with some stupid thing. Necromancer? Bones. Oneiromancer? Dreams. Arithmancer (yes that's a real thing)? Math. Etc.
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Jun 5, 2020 21:36
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Zurai posted:It doesn't. A necromancer is someone who divines the future using bones. Pardon me just changing my rl job title to Arithmancer.
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Jun 5, 2020 22:16
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Lightning bolt is handy in those close-quarters fights as you can hit all those wizards and clerics on the diagonal. OTOH, it is worse than useless against Shambling Mounds, who grow when struck with electricity. Hold and Stinking Cloud is prettu much your best bet, plus Magic Missile. Ice Storm will do AoE damage that hurts them, but not nearly as much as Fireball if it worked.
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Jun 5, 2020 22:42
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It's going to be great when we find out the Old Man really isn't who we think he is. Or when he owns up to being them. Either way. I think the game has us fight some Zhentil spies before meeting Priam to help us convince the Red Plumes we're not Zhentil spies ourselves despite our tattoos. Not that the Zhents aren't smart enough to use double agents, sleepers, and sacrificial spies- they totally are- but the Plumes probably aren't smart enough to anticipate such tactics. I agree they could have made the encounter easier though. Time for some Realms Lore. I've mentioned before that Hillsfar is the biggest military power in the Daleslands region next to Zhentil Keep. It would be easy to say they must be the good guys then, but that's not exactly true either. While they're a large trading hub for much of the area, most of the resulting wealth is used to promote their own good and not good in general. I'm sure you can imagine the sort of attitude this generates. At one time (not yet in the game, I think, but later) the city is ruled by a very racist wizard who only allows humans to enter the gates. This is despite the city originally being named after a local dwarf clan, and elves & half-elves helping to found it. The racist wizard (name's Maalthiir) took over though blackmail and fear of violence. The city's military army, the Red Plumes, are a very formidable force of warriors backed up by mages and priests of gods such as Helm, who is involved with protecting soldiers but neutral in overall alignment. The soldiers enforce Maalthiir's will, even going so far to harass and extort the citizens while almost never going as far as warranting complaints their boss can hear. Very dictatorship type situation, and the presence of even more evil cities in the region like Zhentil Keep and Mulmaster (I'll cover that later) does not help. Nor do all the local monsters from which the citizens rely on the Red Plumes for protection. I just checked online- Maalthiir took over Hillsfar a year or two before this game is set. It looks like either he hasn't established his racist rule yet, the game's ignoring it for convenience to nonhuman characters, or we're just visiting a village outside Hillsfar and not the city itself. Whatever. Yulash was originally a major fortress town on the road between Hillsfar and Zhentil Keep. In the game, it's a major site of constant battle between their militaries. This was also true in the novel Azure Bonds and will remain so for at least the next twenty years (during which the Realms undergo a LOT of shakeups and catastrophes). The city was originally destroyed by the Flight of Dragons a couple years before the game (it was a puppet state of Zhentil Keep while it was an actual city and not just a ruin), but it's still a major strategic location with a lot of easily fortified ruins, so people are still fighting over it. In ancient times, Yulash was also the site of a great temple to Moander, an evil god of rot, corruption, and general nastiness. The Elven Kingdom of Cormanthyr was supposed to have wiped out this temple and its worshippers centuries ago, but of course it didn't take and they're still active in the region. Their temple's just gone underground and is operating in secret while a war goes on and distracts most people who might want to put the Cult of Moander down again. In Azure Bonds, Alias is manipulated by the Cult into awakening an avatar of their god her friends then have to destroy (she herself is a bit indisposed for this part of the book). I'll let you read the book to see how they do that- suffice to say the part of Yulash called the Pit of Moander is where that evil god avatar rose up as a giant moving trash heap. It's a fun dungeon- trash dump levels are almost as nasty as sewer levels. Plume Captain Priam gave us a pretty good idea of what sort of god Moander is- the kind only evil and really confused whackos worship. And yet he's pretty powerful nonetheless. And his cult thinks we're the chosen ones. Hoo boy. Shambling Mounds? Oh boy, another classic D&D monster. Almost invincible walking compost heap. God, I hate these things. Immune to fire, cold resistant, half damage from all weapons, and I think lightning actually heals them. They can also instakill you with suffocation. That Wand of Defoliation they give you in this game is a godsend. Use it sparingly though- the mounds can be random encounters as well as set encounters in Yulash and you don't want to run out. Did we fight a vampire at some point in this game and I missed it? Or did you mean the Dracolich? achtungnight fucked around with this message at 22:55 on Jun 5, 2020 |
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Jun 5, 2020 22:51
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By "the vampire" it meant Vlad.
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Jun 5, 2020 23:40
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Now I'm trying to remember who Vlad was. Never mind, probably not important.
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Jun 5, 2020 23:53
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I remember the game Hillsfar having pub gossip that mentions Maalthir as ruler of the city. That game doesn't have nonhuman characters treated any differently, though it does portray the Red Plumes as generally being assholes. A couple of the questlines have you tracking down a fugitive for information, then being given a choice whether to turn him in. The better choice is not to do that in each case. In this game, Hillsfar is the biggest example of how active bonds can change town reactions. While you still have the Zhentarim bond, their inn will refuse you service, store prices will be quadrupled, and doing anything at the bar will guarantee a fight. The training hall will be the same, which is really the most important town service.
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Jun 6, 2020 00:06
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The weedwhacker is funny, but I would assume a wand of defoliation would be one of those jugs of Roundup that come with a battery-powered sprayer.
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Jun 6, 2020 09:34
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achtungnight posted:Now I'm trying to remember who Vlad was. Never mind, probably not important. Vlad is very important. https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3763641
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Jun 7, 2020 05:20
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Kacie posted:Vlad is very important. I've got to go back and finish that. Also let's be honest, Vlad's importantness is up for debate
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Jun 7, 2020 15:09
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Chokes McGee posted:I've got to go back and finish that. we will hold you to that, using all our power at our disposal to do so. like just staring at the screen at impotent disappointment.
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Jun 7, 2020 15:55
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FeyerbrandX posted:we will hold you to that, using all our power at our disposal to do so. Don't doxx my writing process
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Jun 7, 2020 15:59
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Chokes McGee posted:I've got to go back and finish that. The bargain is struck!
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Jun 7, 2020 17:42
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Chokes McGee posted:I didn't really go over the loot that Llewyn dropped after the fight, but among the many delightful items he had in that huge sack was a Ring of Wizardry. I'm not really sure why he wasn't wearing it, but... I mean, Llewyn. Anyone who was here for Paper Sorcerer can't be that surprised.  Looks like Chokes doesn't respect YOU much either, boss!  Chokes McGee posted:I've got to go back and finish that. Did you ever find your old save? quote:Also let's be honest, Vlad's importantness is up for debate Name one of them whose importantness isn't.
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Jun 7, 2020 19:41
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DGM_2 posted:Name one of them whose importantness isn't.  yes hello, I got a page
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Jun 7, 2020 19:48
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asked and answered 
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Jun 7, 2020 23:36
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So, module Yulash up to this point is not entirely unlike the game's portrayal. The major difference is that there's no convenient group of Zhents for you to murder in front of the Red Plumes to make them trust you. Instead, the Red Plumes control one end of the city and you can choose to enter from that end, from the other end, or in the lawless zone of contention between them. If you're either captured by or surrender to the Plumes and taken to their captain, the party chooses one character to act as spokesman and has to talk their way into being allowed access to the city. This involves various modifiers, bonuses for things like being lawful good or a paladin or surrendering yourselves to their authority, penalties for things like having to be beaten and dragged in, being caught looting, having been seen killing Plumes or carrying any of their equipment, being chaotic anything, being a thief, and of course the Zhentarim bond (the spokesman is allowed a chance to try and do some fast talking to negate this one). A roll of 2d6 plus or minus appropriate modifiers determines your fate, a low enough roll gets the entire party ordered to death, at which point all available nearby Plumes will show up to try and kill you and every Red Plume encounter will be automatically hostile. A roll in the middle is a neutral reaction, the captain doesn't give a gently caress and just wants you out of there. A high roll gets you the same reaction the party received in game, with all the information the captain has available. If you came in the other side of the city, controlled by the Zhents, they hold you while they send a message to Zhentil Keep to see what should be done. If you still have their bond, they get orders to not harm you, to take you out of the city, and to strongly discourage you from returning. After that Zhents will always be hostile, and we wouldn't have it any other way. Obviously, if you broke the Zhent bond before coming here they want your heads on spikes ASAP. Besides the hostile Zhents, potentially hostile Red Plumes, suspicious cultists, and ever-frustrating shambling mounds, module Yulash also has infestations of trolls and other things. There are some NPCs that we'll wait for Chokes to mention, but there's also one who doesn't appear in the game. A thief living in a ruined building while he grabs whatever loot from the city he can find, the shambling mounds have driven him insane, so he protects the house he's squatting in with cage traps and threatens to shoot anybody he captures with poisoned arrows. Except he doesn't have any poison, instead it's grape jelly. You can talk him down and get him to join the party, but he's terrified of shambling mounds, vegepygmies, and any other plant-based monsters and runs off if he sees any. But he'll probably share his jelly if you ask nicely. Truthkeeper fucked around with this message at 20:58 on Jun 8, 2020 |
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Jun 8, 2020 07:07
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From my understanding, vegepgymies are, as the name implies, pygmy humanoids made out of vegetable matter. They have a rudimentary intelligence and their own language, thus are a bit smarter than shambling mounds. But they’re much less dangerous. I was going to mention these facts when Chokes encountered them in the game. They do show up as set and random encounters in this area, Chokes just hasn’t encountered them yet.
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Jun 8, 2020 09:07
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Man I hope for Chokes' sake the giant slugs are edited out. In more or less all editions giant slugs have a wreck-your-poo poo acid spit attack that's incredibly destructive to any non-epic tier of PC. They're almost as scary as dragons in that regard.
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Jun 8, 2020 10:21
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Man, I hope they were edited in. I mean, isn't that what we're here for, to see Chokes driven before the game, to hear the lamentations of Chokes women and shoft lavatory paper?
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Jun 8, 2020 13:26
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Hey guys? Don't talk about monsters we haven't seen yet. Both vegepygmies and giant slugs are on the menu. I mean, not literally, that'd be disgusting.
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Jun 8, 2020 15:52
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Chokes McGee posted:Hey guys? Don't talk about monsters we haven't seen yet. Both vegepygmies and giant slugs are on the menu. Whoops, sorry, I managed to forget that they actually do appear in game.
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Jun 8, 2020 20:59
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Truthkeeper posted:Whoops, sorry, I managed to forget that they actually do appear in game. No worries. I've been pretty lax on spoilers since there's a ton of stuff that doesn't get talked about in game and is actually important to the backstory (which of course means you'll never get it otherwise), but it's a fine line to walk. When in doubt, just don't mention something unless it's explicitly appeared in an update. I mean I don't really give a poo poo if the existence of vegepygmies is revealed before the next update but trying to nip that stuff in the bud (  ).
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Jun 8, 2020 21:50
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Chokes McGee posted:
Uh, it was probably just a wrong number. Don't worry about it.
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Jun 10, 2020 03:02
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Chokes McGee posted:I've got to go back and finish that. Read through that LP again because it was linked and...  ...well, there are still six months left.
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Jun 10, 2020 21:43
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NullBlack posted:Read through that LP again because it was linked and... I SAID CARD SUBJECT TO CHANGE OK
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Jun 10, 2020 21:48
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Huh, I can read that thread without having archives. That's weird. Oh well, I'm off to read Chokes' mark of shame.
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Jun 10, 2020 21:58
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Just pretend the end of the story was "and then there were chainsaws."
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Jun 10, 2020 22:04
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Randalor posted:Huh, I can read that thread without having archives. That's weird. Oh well, I'm off to read Chokes' Fixed that for you. There's a reason we all come back, hat in hand, and beg for "just a bit more, sir!"
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Jun 11, 2020 03:18
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Chokes didn't finish it, I can only assume it's a mark of shame on an otherwise stellar LP record.
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Jun 11, 2020 04:00
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Randalor posted:Chokes didn't finish it, I can only assume it's a mark of shame on an otherwise stellar LP record. Lol I abandoned DW3 before it even got off the launch pad If the party didn't need a responsible adult keeping an eye on them you probably wouldn't even know it existed
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Jun 11, 2020 06:56
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Randalor posted:Huh, I can read that thread without having archives. That's weird. In the past I've been able to read current threads without being logged in (albeit with the profanity censored), but it was inconsistent. Sometimes I had to be logged in. But I had no idea that archives were ever accessible without an account. What are the rules for all this? quote:Oh well, I'm off to read Chokes' mark of shame. Chokes' Paper Sorcerer LP qualifies as a mark of shame? Your standards might need re-calibrating, sir; they seem set a little high.
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Jun 11, 2020 08:47
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DGM_2 posted:Chokes' Paper Sorcerer LP qualifies as a mark of shame? Your standards might need re-calibrating, sir; they seem set a little high. What can I say? Chokes set a very high bar with past LPs, plus he keeps saying hes going to finish it unlike other LPs that were aborted.
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Jun 11, 2020 13:20
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Chokes McGee posted:Lol I abandoned DW3 before it even got off the launch pad I would! I'll always remember. I also completely understand why you abandoned it.  go home and be a family man
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Jun 11, 2020 14:17
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clockwork chaos posted:I would! I'll always remember. I also completely understand why you abandoned it. tbh I might be able to go back and do it now. DW3 was coming off a rough time for me and was the equivalent of trying a full workout when I'm horribly out of shape. DW3, Paper Sorcerer, Shining Force, and Bard's Tale are all things I'd like to do but there's only so much time in the day and this LP is a massive undertaking. Unless I pull up short, there's probably not going to be room for anything else for at least the next two years, and working in parallel is a good way to burn out on both.
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Jun 11, 2020 15:58
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One thing at a time, man. Go at your own pace. Hope that all is finished eventually- but this LP, for the games in that lineup I actually enjoyed, this most of all. Selfish, I know.
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Jun 11, 2020 16:07
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Well, that was all a bit of fun, but I suppose I should put in an update. My target is Sunday evening, but no promises. This is a really rough section of the game right now, because it's very hard to make Yulash interesting. We'll have content for days after this though so just gotta push through to 50% completion.
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Jun 12, 2020 17:03
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