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Grammarchist posted:You know, I'm starting to think there are no stakes in this vampire story. 
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Jun 10, 2020 19:49
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Look. This story gave us non-POV cullens to write fanfic about, and the author took care of writing the boring ones so we don't have to even think about them. What a service. It's like if Harry Potter had been about Argus Filch and Mrs. Norris.
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Jun 10, 2020 21:32
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quote:My eyes opened wider and the pain of the thirst receded, shock taking its place. Me? Hunt? With Edward? But… how? I didn’t know what to do. Yes, that's definitely the lesson you should take from Rosalie's traumatic rape and murder: to remember your human memories as deeply as possible. quote:“Shall we?” Edward asked. He reached up to take the hand that was still at my neck. His fingers smoothed down the column of my throat. “I don’t want you to be hurting,” he added in a low murmur. Something I would not have been able to hear before. What "lingering human habit"? Do vampires not say "fine"? Are vampires supposed to lose everything about their humanity within 2 minutes of opening their eyes? quote:There was so much. I’d never gotten to my questions. There were more important things than the ache. Ah, the pose of motherhood. quote:I knew there was nothing left inside me, and I faintly remembered the bloody removal scene, but the physical proof was still hard to process. All I knew was loving my little nudger inside of me. Outside of me, she seemed like something I must have imagined. A fading dream—a dream that was half nightmare. Like this book! quote:While I wrestled with my confusion, I saw Edward and Carlisle exchange a guarded glance. I'm sure this will actually turn out to be a problem and Meyer isn't just delaying the reveal to add more page time! quote:“Where is she?” I listened hard, and then I could hear the beating heart on the floor below me. I could hear more than one person breathing—quietly, like they were listening, too. There was also a fluttering sound, a thrumming, that I couldn’t place.… Expresses no horror or shock at wanting to eat her baby. Just...nothing. quote:“Is Rosalie with her?” Oh yeah, Charlie has spent this entire time terrified that his daughter is dying of some rare disease! Guess he just doesn't matter! quote:“I should call him…,” I murmured to myself, but, listening to my own voice, I understood the new difficulties. He wouldn’t recognize this voice. It wouldn’t reassure him. And then the earlier surprise intruded. “Hold on—Jacob is still here?” Clearly someone more important than your father. quote:Another glance between them. No, please leave him out of this. Out of the entire book, in fact. quote:“We have all the time in the world for explanations, love,” he reminded me gently. How are the vampires not played for comedy? Ever? quote:Jasper had been so still and silent that I’d taken no notice of him since he’d followed behind Carlisle. Now he moved again, to hover over Alice, his eyes locked on my expression. Because I was the danger here. So vampire venom still leaves scars on vampires. This means that all of Edward's bites when transforming Bella are going to be on her "flawless" body permanently. quote:Instinctively, I tensed to defend myself. Any vampire who saw Jasper would have had the same reaction. The scars were like a lighted billboard. Dangerous, they screamed. How many vampires had tried to kill Jasper? Hundreds? Thousands? The same number that had died in the attempt. You've known Jasper for over a year and now you're tensing up like he's going to kill you? Because he got in a lot of fights? quote:“Edward gave me grief for not getting you to a mirror before the wedding,” Alice said, pulling my attention away from her frightening lover. “I’m not going to be chewed out again.” Bella is having hunger pangs that make her want to eat her own child. quote:I was only aware of this exchange with the lesser part of my concentration. The greater part was riveted on the person in the mirror. Yes, that's the best Meyer can come up with for what a vampire transformation does. "Oh, it just makes you look perfect and pale!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4LqPLHltkY The movie inevitably ran into this problem. While Kristen Stewart might not be a goddess, she's a conventionally attractive young woman in standard film set makeup. When she has to check herself out in the mirror, she just looks like she always does when given makeup and a hair stylist. quote:And then her full lips moved. You were told this! We already knew about this! According to Das Sporking, many of the continuity problems come from the recycling of the Forever Dawn sequel into Breaking Dawn after Meyer expanded her one-off bored housewife experiment into a series. Little to no planning was done in advance, resulting in a series that's basically off-the-cuff improvisations stacked on top of one another until this one. The rules about newborn vampires simply didn't exist until Meyer thought them up for Eclipse, and now she's trying (and failing) to keep straight everything that was established in prior books as she reuses her original sequel plans. quote:“Months?” My voice was higher now, stressed. In the mirror, the perfect eyebrows lifted incredulously above her glowing crimson eyes—brighter than any I’d ever seen before. Please learn to do different things when writing. quote:“No, I’m fine,” I promised them. My eyes flickered to the stranger in the mirror and back. “It’s just… a lot to take in.” Stop referring to yourself in third person! quote:“What question did I miss?” I know this is something that has never been established before, but I'm laughing at the idea that they're just surprised that specifically Bella is able to react to something without throwing a tantrum for once. quote:“Is that wrong?” I asked. My body automatically froze as I waited for his verdict. Of course not! That might actually create legitimate drama and conflict instead of giving you everything you want unconditionally! quote:I couldn’t feel it coming on.… Maybe there was no way to anticipate such a thing.  quote:I raised my hand experimentally, and the woman in the mirror copied the movement, touching her face, too. Her crimson eyes watched me warily. Even he's getting bored with this. quote:I turned away from her to look at him, raising one eyebrow. Do vampires just get animal noises as one of their instincts? quote:But Edward ignored them and wrapped his arms tightly around my newly frozen form, pressing his lips against my cheek. “I was rather hoping that I’d be able to hear your mind, now that it is more similar to my own,” he murmured. “And here I am, as frustrated as ever, wondering what could possibly be going on inside your head.” ....I got nothing. quote:It was becoming easier to joke with him as I adjusted, to think in straight lines. To be myself. "He's just desperate for something to happen except you staring at how hot you are." quote:I looked at Jasper’s worried expression and nodded. I didn’t want to snap here, if that was coming. Better to be surrounded by trees than family.
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Jun 11, 2020 16:47
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Oh no, one of her lips is fuller than the other. Her worst flaw is apparently looking like Scarlett Johansson. What happens to people who are uglier than Bella "my lips are too big and I'm slender but not bony" Swan? Would a Mama June become a Charlize Theron? Would a Steve Buscemi turn into a George Clooney? The fact that she lost her pregnancy weight immediately and can't recognize her face seems to point towards vampires instantly becoming the standard Western ideal of beauty. Now I'm imagining some Paleolithic vampire being horrified that they're suddenly thin and white.
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Jun 11, 2020 17:28
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hyperhazard posted:Oh no, one of her lips is fuller than the other. Her worst flaw is apparently looking like Scarlett Johansson. We actually got the answer to that in James, who was canonically very ugly as a human and becoming a vampire has made him look completely average and unassuming. There's no explanation as to how he changed, only that he did. Details are hard.
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Jun 11, 2020 17:43
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Jasper's hanging out by a door with a giant neon sign that says "PLOT" pinwheeling his arms like a baseball coach telling a runner to shoot for home.
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Jun 11, 2020 18:19
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“I guess my brain will never work right. At least I’m pretty.” How the hell can you write this line and then claim with a straight face to be empowering women? Also, can we get the term Mary Sue changed to Bella Swan? These last few updates have been absolutely painful to read.
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Jun 11, 2020 18:41
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hyperhazard posted:Now I'm imagining some Paleolithic vampire being horrified that they're suddenly thin and white. That would be a great short story - following a vampire through the ages as they struggle with being physically changeless, struggling to keep up as society changes to consider them grotesque nosferatu, to aesthetic ideals, and back again. It reminds me of an early Anita Blake novel that had a Neanderthal vampire in modern times. She hosed that premise up too, to no one's surprise.
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Jun 11, 2020 19:09
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chitoryu12 posted:
Hey, not to be an rear end in a top hat or anything, but this isn't the first time you've referred to Meyer as a 'housewife' and I've seen it brought up a lot over the years, usually in a dismissive way. I don't love it to be honest. None of the books' problems have much to do with her being a woman who doesn't have a job outside the house, do they? There's plenty that sucks about them but is this really one of those things?
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Jun 11, 2020 19:43
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I think it's more a reference to the mindset than specifically what she does. She seems to be a Mormon woman who fully embraces being a housewife, as in a married mother who cares for her man and children, as the be all and end all of womanhood. Anything else she does is effectively hung around that self image. It definitely can be taken as dismissive of women for doing the kind of role they're very much encouraged to do by society though.
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Jun 11, 2020 21:16
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MrNemo posted:I think it's more a reference to the mindset than specifically what she does. She seems to be a Mormon woman who fully embraces being a housewife, as in a married mother who cares for her man and children, as the be all and end all of womanhood. Anything else she does is effectively hung around that self image. It's this. Meyer dutifully did the Mormon thing and married at 21, then retired to become a full-time mom at 24. She had only held a single job in her entire life and did extremely little writing before Twilight. She idealizes the concept of motherhood to the point where her "strong female protagonist" consistently picks the choices that allows her to fulfill the role of mother, graduating to placing motherhood on a pedestal. The series is barely disguised wish fulfillment fantasy, with the ultimate wish being "I get the same life of motherhood I do now but I'm also super hot, wealthy, and immortal." I briefly brought up Forever Dawn earlier in the thread, the original sequel to Twilight. Remember that Twilight was a stand-alone story written for fun, with no intent to be published. It's safe to assume that virtually nothing that wasn't on paper in the first book existed even in her mind at the time. She began writing a sequel while Twilight was still being shopped around, again purely for the hell of it. She was about 300 pages in when she got word that Twilight had been accepted for publication, and then her publishers wanted her to write proper sequels. While Forever Dawn has never seen the light of day except in a few excerpts and a plot synopsis, it would be recycled into the end of the series. The plot of Forever Dawn is broadly the same as Breaking Dawn. Because it skips straight to the wedding, however, none of the events of New Moon or Eclipse occurred in this continuity. While the reveal of the Quileute as werewolves still occurs, Jacob remains on the periphery because Edward never left and thus Bella never got the urge to go wild and establish her friendship with Jacob, setting the stage for his repeated sexual assaults that Meyer tries to frame as a "love triangle". Most of the werewolves don't even get names, let alone personalities. Victoria is still around and serves as the final villain, while Laurent actually joins the Cullens in the climax. Because Jacob is relatively unimportant, there's no perspective change and we remain with Bella through the entire pregnancy. He still imprints on Renesmee, but a few weeks later instead of during the birth (this will be important). What ended up happening is that Meyer was really attached to the ending of her story. It was destined that Bella would get married and have a child, and nothing was going to stand in her way even as she wrote two other books. This results in an epic number of plot threads being dropped and foreshadowing leading to nothing happening. She did two books trying to fill in all the gaps, but couldn't commit to a different ending so she just ignores a lot of what gets written when it interferes. This book will be far more frustrating and aggravating than you expect.
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Jun 11, 2020 22:00
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chitoryu12 posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4LqPLHltkY Once again, more chemistry in like 20 seconds than this entire goddamn chapter.
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Jun 11, 2020 22:58
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Chapter 21: First Huntquote:"The window?" I asked, staring two stories down. You are invulnerable to injury. quote:Edward smiled. “It’s the most convenient exit. If you’re frightened, I can carry you.” Okay but she can already smell everything and this book has done a great job establishing that she's no risk at all and has an impossible level of control. quote:“Is Renesmee… okay… with Jacob there?” I whispered. I realized belatedly that it must have been Jacob’s heart I’d heard below. I listened hard again, but I could only hear the one steady pulse. “He doesn’t like her much.” "It's probably the most horrifying mind reading I've ever performed and I might never recover." quote:“Of course,” I murmured, and looked at the ground again. You backflipped off the table a few minutes ago. quote:And I was very conscious of my family behind me, watching silently. Mostly silently. Emmett had already chuckled under his breath once. One mistake, and he’d be rolling on the floor. Then the jokes about the world’s only clumsy vampire would start.… We all know that would never happen, as it would make the book too interesting. quote:Also, this dress—that Alice must have put me in sometime when I was too lost in the burning to notice—was not what I would have picked out for either jumping or hunting. Tightly fitted ice-blue silk? What did she think I would need it for? Was there a cocktail party later? Okay maybe someone should have intervened with Alice at some point. quote:“Watch me,” Edward said. And then, very casually, he stepped out of the tall, open window and fell. Vampires wouldn't need to absorb the impact, though? They could drop from the roof of a skyscraper and barely notice. quote:It didn’t look hard. Alice why did you do this. quote:I absorbed the impact in the balls of my feet, not wanting to snap off the thin heels. My landing seemed just as quiet as his. I grinned at him. This is downright masturbatory now. quote:I considered that for a moment, and then I beamed. If he’d just been saying that, then Emmett would have laughed. No one found his remark humorous, so it must have been true. It was the first time anyone had ever applied the word graceful to me in my entire life… or, well, existence anyway. Thank you, Meyer. Never could have gotten the intended meaning of that statement without Bella carefully explaining it. quote:“Thank you,” I told him. Do you hunt in stilettos, Alice? quote:Edward took my hand—I couldn’t stop marveling at the smoothness, the comfortable temperature of his skin—and darted through the backyard to the edge of the river. I went along with him effortlessly. Who needs a character having to learn how to do anything when you can just give them superpowers and make them hyper competent in the last half of the book? quote:“Are we swimming?” I asked him when we stopped beside the water. So realistically, this should be really hard. Her vampiric powers and reflexes should be giving her a ton of trouble with performing even simple tasks like walking around the house. Remember how she reflexively backflipped across a room and hugged Edward until she hurt him? She's now having to accurately judge a leap well over 10 times longer than she would be making as a human without landing in the river or crashing into a tree. quote:Suddenly, I was anxious again. Not about falling or getting hurt—I was more worried about the forest getting hurt. I think "trilling" is the word you were going for, Meyer. quote:Hoping very much that Esme was not particularly fond of any specific trees across the river, I began my first stride. And then stopped when the tight satin split six inches up my thigh. Alice! Meyer is really bad at making Alice not seem like a bizarre alien pretending to be a human. quote:I could hear the muffled laughter in the house, and even the sound of someone gritting her teeth. The laughter came from upstairs and down, and I very easily recognized the much different, rough, throaty chuckle from the first floor. Please stop talking like he didn't deserve whatever poo poo he went through. quote:I didn’t turn to look at him now, wary of my mood swings. It wouldn’t be good to let any emotion take too strong a hold on my frame of mind. Jasper’s fears had me on edge, too. I had to hunt before I dealt with anything else. I tried to forget everything else so I could concentrate. But...why should it be instinctive? Did becoming a vampire just rewrite your whole brain, suppress all of your learned human instincts and muscle memory, and replace them with new ones perfectly suited to vampire levels of strength, speed, and reflexes? I'm sure Stephenie Meyer would never be so egregious in her wish fulfillment fantasy as to make vampirism an automatic Mary Sue power granter, right? quote:Unhindered by my skirt, it took only one long bound to reach the water’s edge. Just an eighty-fourth of a second, and yet it was plenty of time—my eyes and my mind moved so quickly that one step was enough. It was simple to position my right foot just so against the flat stone and exert the adequate pressure to send my body wheeling up into the air. I was paying more attention to aim than force, and I erred on the amount of power necessary—but at least I didn’t err on the side that would have gotten me wet. The fifty yard width was slightly too easy a distance.… Oh, no. She just does perfectly every time. Nothing has to be earned. quote:Over the sound of my peals of delighted laughter, I could hear Edward racing to find me. My jump had been twice as long as his. When he reached my tree, his eyes were wide. I leaped nimbly from the branch to his side, soundlessly landing again on the balls of my feet. Oh, well I'm sure that will be the first thing that Edward does that Bella doesn't beat him in! quote:He was faster than me. I couldn’t imagine how he moved his legs with such blinding speed, but it was beyond me. However, I was stronger, and every stride of mine matched the length of three of his. And so I flew with him through the living green web, by his side, not following at all. As I ran, I couldn’t help laughing quietly at the thrill of it; the laughter neither slowed me nor upset my focus. Twilight vampires might be some of the most overpowered in fiction. In addition to their strength and senses, they're instantly born with perfect clarity and the ability to perfectly filter out everything unnecessary despite being able to hear and see for miles and see into the entire color spectrum while maintaining clear vision. They're basically gods, and it actually calls into question the ability of the Quileute to adequately combat them at all. We see it happening on the page, but realistically they should be worthless against beings this powerful. quote:The wind of my speed blew my hair and my torn dress out behind me, and, though I knew it shouldn’t, it felt warm against my skin. Just as the rough forest floor shouldn’t feel like velvet beneath my bare soles, and the limbs that whipped against my skin shouldn’t feel like caressing feathers. Through becoming a Mormon, all is clear! quote:“Bella,” he called dryly, his voice even, lazy. I could hear nothing else; he had stopped. It's been enough pages. You can stop writing that now. quote:“Did you want to stay in the country?” he asked, amused. “Or were you planning to continue on to Canada this afternoon?” "Doesn't he know I'm perfect and can do anything?" quote:But I wasn’t going to argue; I was too thirsty. As soon as I’d started to think about the dry burn in my throat, it was all I could think about. Definitely getting worse. My mouth felt like four o’clock on a June afternoon in Death Valley. Shouldn't she also hear the heart of every other animal and human in the forest? quote:It felt like the sides of my throat had sucked closed. I see vampirism has also given her a perfect internal compass, when she previously could barely navigate with GPS. quote:“Yes.” His tone was approving. “Now… wait for the breeze again and… what do you smell?” At this rate, I doubt that. quote:“Three?” I guessed.
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Jun 15, 2020 14:30
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Alice is just the best.
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Jun 15, 2020 14:46
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Gotta admit, hiking through the woods and happening upon a woman in a very expensive dress and high heels devouring a 500-pound elk would be horrifying. It'd actually be interesting if Bella got herself witnessed during a feeding frenzy and had to deal with that situation.
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Jun 15, 2020 15:50
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Grammarchist posted:Gotta admit, hiking through the woods and happening upon a woman in a very expensive dress and high heels devouring a 500-pound elk would be horrifying. It'd actually be interesting if Bella got herself witnessed during a feeding frenzy and had to deal with that situation. It would, wouldn't it?
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Jun 15, 2020 15:56
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I hate the plot device where a heroine is in an outfit that just happens to rip the right way. Oh no, Padme was hit by a chain (??) and the bottom of her shirt was torn off. Oh no, Bella had someone put her in stilettos (lol) and a flimsy dress and has no choice but to rip it to mid thigh in order to walk. It's ok to have a female character dress sexy and confident! You don't need to come up with excuses for how she got that way!
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Jun 15, 2020 18:02
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it really takes a lot of the teeth out of a good vampire story when the vampires don't prey on peoples i blame joss whedon for this bullshit
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Jun 15, 2020 18:13
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Bella is just so special that I predict she'll be able to feed without killing and her victims will also enjoy it.
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Jun 15, 2020 18:47
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If Alice could still see Bella's future when Renesmee was out of her, was she able to predict that Bella would need to go hunting and thus put her in a skintight cocktail dress and stiletto heels on purpose?
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Jun 15, 2020 18:55
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chitoryu12 posted:If Alice could still see Bella's future when Renesmee was out of her, was she able to predict that Bella would need to go hunting and thus put her in a skintight cocktail dress and stiletto heels on purpose? Yes, with weakened seams.
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Jun 15, 2020 19:26
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Midjack posted:Bella is just so special that I predict she'll be able to feed without killing and her victims will also enjoy it. Not possible in the fiction. You don't kill the victim and they turn into a vampire in 3 days.
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Jun 15, 2020 20:48
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Victorkm posted:Not possible in the fiction. You don't kill the victim and they turn into a vampire in 3 days. But she’s BELLA SWAN, the most beautiful, powerful, and self-possessed vampire ever to vamp.
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Jun 15, 2020 21:04
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Leah is going to be gazing into the mouth of madness the next time she links with Jacob telepathically.
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Jun 15, 2020 21:19
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Grammarchist posted:Leah is going to be gazing into the mouth of madness the next time she links with Jacob telepathically. By these guys, I am loathed Yet realize that I still know That her face, arouses Jake Our pack is his disgrace Newborn babe, creepy wretch, 'Neath the black her dad looks dead Think my name through your dream And you'll hear me scream again Black wolf's son Why'd you come Now I wash my brain again Black wolf's son Why'd you come Why'd you come (please don't come) ...
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Jun 15, 2020 21:44
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Victorkm posted:Not possible in the fiction. You don't kill the victim and they turn into a vampire in 3 days. To be fair, it was possible in the first book when both James and Edward drank from Bella without killing or turning her.
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Jun 15, 2020 22:48
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only possible because of the power of twue wuv
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Jun 16, 2020 04:07
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quote:I let myself drift with the scent, barely aware of my movement as I ghosted down the incline to the narrow meadow where the stream flowed. My body shifted forward automatically into a low crouch as I hesitated at the fern-fringed edge of the trees. I could see a big bull, two dozen antler points crowning his head, at the stream’s edge, and the shadow-spotted shapes of the four others heading eastward into forest at a leisurely pace. I wonder if the Cullens ever wear Realtree. quote:I centered myself around the scent of the male, the hot spot in his shaggy neck where the warmth pulsed strongest. Only thirty yards—two or three bounds—between us. I tensed myself for the first leap. Keep in mind how strong Bella's instincts were here. quote:The scent ruled completely. I was single-minded as I traced it, aware only of the thirst and the smell that promised to quench it. The thirst got worse, so painful now that it confused all my other thoughts and began to remind me of the burn of venom in my veins. Canonically, Victoria's vampire power was super-self-preservation. Turns out it's not just magic, but an actual instinct that gets embedded flawlessly in vampires when they're born! quote:I was suddenly alert to the fact that I was being followed. The pull of the irresistible scent warred with the impulse to turn and defend my hunt. A bubble of sound built in my chest, my lips pulled back of their own accord to expose my teeth in warning. My feet slowed, the need to protect my back struggling against the desire to quench my thirst. Also vampires get random animal noises and instinctual hissing as part of the package, I guess. quote:The wind shifted, blowing the smell of wet earth and coming rain across my face, further freeing me from the other scent’s fiery grip—a scent so delicious it could only be human. The smell of human blood was so strong that it caused Bella to instinctively go flying through the forest with full intent of slaughtering the first man she saw. She was taken out of the house specifically because of a fear that she would try to eat her own daughter (and/or Jacob, presumably)...but she didn't have this reaction then. So we have two options here: either Bella's instincts will turn off and on at will as the plot demands, or Renesmee and Jacob don't trigger the feeding instinct at all and (as usual) it was all for nothing. quote:Edward hesitated a few feet away, his arms raised as if to embrace me—or restrain me. His face was intent and cautious as I froze, horrified. I mean...would it be that bad of a thing to happen? quote:He could see reason return to my face, and he took a step toward me, lowering his arms. Oh, that's another thing. Vampires don't need to breathe except for smelling and faking being human. But wouldn't they still need air to speak, and thus be breathing constantly whenever they were having a conversation? quote:Shock crossed his face. “Can you leave?” Maybe this is why it's so hard for vampires to form covens. When they get in a mood, their instincts cause them to randomly lash out at each other. quote:A new thought occurred to me, and I stopped dead, my feet planted. I was sure it must be safe here, but I held my breath just in case. Granted, Edward does have a unique issue among the Cullens with killing people. quote:“When you came up behind me… I’m so sorry about that.” Okay, that might be the most overwrought line in this thing. quote:“Of course you did. That’s only natural. But I can’t understand how you ran away.” "Like that's ever stopped me before!" quote:“Why are you laughing at me?” Because Bella "cried and screamed about going to prom" Swan has never had a temper problem before? quote:“I’m not laughing at you, Bella. I’m laughing because I am in shock. And I am in shock because I am completely amazed.” There you have it, folks. Bella Swan is the most perfectest of all perfect vampires. She's granted instant control over all of her abilities and can shut down her feeding instincts flawlessly within minutes of being turned. All the worry about her as a newborn? Every scrap of paper dedicated to talking about how scary she'll be, how she'll have to sacrifice so much, how she'll be dangerous to her friends and family? No. It was all for nothing. You wasted all of your time reading that and you will never get it back. quote:“Oh.” But I’d known it was going to be hard. That was why I’d been so on guard. I’d been expecting it to be difficult. So were we! You spent multiple books building up to this! But it would just be too hard for Meyer to give her self-insert Mary Sue a single shred of legitimate difficulty in her life, wouldn't it? She has to show up to a new town, have everyone fawn over her while insisting she's totally plain and boring (which she actually is), get two hot supernatural guys obsessing over her, become the center of attention for seemingly the entire supernatural world despite doing nothing but existing nearby, have her half-vampire pregnancy turn out to be a perfect child with no issues, and become a hot immortal vampire who instantly has none of the flaws any vampire does so she never has any development, learning, or any reaction from other vampires except fawning over her perfection. quote:He put his hands on my face again, and his eyes were full of wonder. “What wouldn’t I give to be able to see into your mind for just this one moment.” So, uh, it really is the power of true love that lets her conquer everything the plot said should be happening. quote:I reached up to trace the planes of his face; my fingers lingered on his lips. Horny so powerful it transcends supernatural transformations. quote:Of course I was now, now that he’d brought it up again! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CB-a6fmj21U This is one of the few scenes the film actually makes worse than the book. Instead of just chasing after unseen hikers, we see Bella actually come across a rock climber who severely gashes himself. It makes her power to resist even more spectacular. quote:Edward dropped his hands, not even breathing while I listened farther and farther out into the web of green life, sifting through the scents and sounds for something not totally repellant to my thirst. There was a hint of something different, a faint trail to the east.… Much like when the wolves were running around, I have no sense of where they're going or how far. They could be a mile from the house, they could be a hundred. It's all generic. quote:The soft thud of paws continued stealthily beneath me now; the rich scent was very close. My eyes pinpointed the movement linked with the sound, and I saw the tawny hide of the great cat slinking along the wide branch of a spruce just down and to the left of my perch. He was big—easily four times my mass. His eyes were intent on the ground beneath; the cat hunted, too. I caught the smell of something smaller, bland next to the aroma of my prey, cowering in brush below the tree. The lion’s tail twitched spasmodically as he prepared to spring.  quote:The flavor was wrong, but the blood was hot and wet and it soothed the ragged, itching thirst as I drank in an eager rush. The cat’s struggles grew more and more feeble, and his screams choked off with a gurgle. The warmth of the blood radiated throughout my whole body, heating even my fingertips and toes. She has the same problem she does with sex! quote:I wrenched myself erect in one quick move. Standing, I realized I was a bit of a mess. I wiped my face off on the back of my arm and tried to fix the dress. The claws that had been so ineffectual against my skin had had more success with the thin satin. Oh yeah, even more clothing damage! quote:“Hmm,” Edward said. I looked up to see him leaning casually against a tree trunk, watching me with a thoughtful look on his face. She's basically naked at this point. quote:If I could have blushed, I would have. I changed the subject. “Why am I still thirsty?” Wait, does this mean vegans are at less risk of vampire attacks? quote:“Not that much like humans,” I disagreed, trying not to remember. Stop erasing gay people, Edward. quote:I rolled my eyes and snorted. “Let’s go hunt some stinking herbivores.” Edward Cullen: perfect at everything except being a decent person. quote:It was a surprisingly sensual experience to observe Edward hunting. His smooth spring was like the sinuous strike of a snake; his hands were so sure, so strong, so completely inescapable; his full lips were perfect as they parted gracefully over his gleaming teeth. He was glorious. I felt a sudden jolt of both pride and desire. He was mine. Nothing could ever separate him from me now. I was too strong to be torn from his side. Okay is this another fetish Meyer is revealing? Because this book seems way more overtly masturbation material for her than the previous ones. quote:He was very quick. He turned to me and gazed curiously at my gloating expression. "You fool." quote:He laughed. “Are you done for today? Or did you want to continue?” I mean the book has no real stakes or serious conflict, so... quote:“I want to see Renesmee,” I said. Now that my thirst was tamed (if nothing close to erased), my earlier worries were hard to forget. I wanted to reconcile the stranger who was my daughter with the creature I’d loved three days ago. It was so odd, so wrong not to have her inside me still. Abruptly, I felt empty and uneasy. After the "Jacob lurching through a park leering at underage girls" scene, I wonder if Meyer actually envisions any of these scenes in her head. Imagine that you stumbled upon this scene in the woods: a hot heterosexual teen couple, the boy in spotless clothes with perfectly coiffed hair and the girl wearing a few torn strips of blood-soaked satin with her hair knotted and filled with dirt and leaves, as she silently strokes his cheek. Surrounded by deer that have been gruesomely torn to shreds. quote:It was almost as hard as it had been to turn away from the scent of human blood, but I somehow kept the need to be careful firmly in my head as I stretched up on my toes and wrapped my arms around him. Gently. I should point out that in New Moon that Meyer really did use "Bella just has too much love" as the explanation for her sudden bout of schizophrenic hallucinations and self-harming behavior. quote:Maybe this was the part of me that I’d brought forward to be intensified in my new life. Like Carlisle’s compassion and Esme’s devotion. I would probably never be able to do anything interesting or special like Edward, Alice, and Jasper could do. Maybe I would just love Edward more than anyone in the history of the world had ever loved anyone else. Again, go back to my description of what this scene looks like. quote:He stroked my face. “Slightly better than okay.” And then a perplexed expression crossed his face. “Renesmee?” he asked uncertainly, trying to ascertain what I wanted most in this moment. A very difficult question to answer, because I wanted so many things at the same time. "We should probably leave before the decomposition starts." quote:I could tell that he wasn’t exactly averse to procrastinating our return trip, and it was hard to think about much besides his skin on mine—there really wasn’t that much left of the dress. But my memory of Renesmee, before and after her birth, was becoming more and more dreamlike to me. More unlikely. All my memories of her were human memories; an aura of artificiality clung to them. Nothing seemed real that I hadn’t seen with these eyes, touched with these hands. As if these books have been connected to reality at any point. quote:“Renesmee,” I agreed, rueful, and I whipped back up onto my feet, pulling him with me. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 17:52 on Jun 16, 2020 |
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Jun 16, 2020 17:49
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So I forget, is there a reason why they didn’t just hand her a six-pack from the blood bank as soon as she woke up? We’d have an inevitable “first hunt” scene regardless but she’d at least get some time with her baby before going out to eat a huge pussy and bust up a stag party.
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Jun 16, 2020 18:38
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Midjack posted:So I forget, is there a reason why they didn’t just hand her a six-pack from the blood bank as soon as she woke up? We’d have an inevitable “first hunt” scene regardless but she’d at least get some time with her baby before going out to eat a huge pussy and bust up a stag party. They conveniently ran out right before the birth.
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Jun 16, 2020 18:38
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 Memes are the only thing that will get me through this book.
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Jun 16, 2020 21:04
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I can't GOD drat BELIEVE the book actually has Bella come across the scent of human prey and just shamelessly smothers that tension in the crib. That's just infuriating on a new level. The scene of Bella wire gliding into a mountain lion is hilarious at least.
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Jun 16, 2020 22:16
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Grammarchist posted:I can't GOD drat BELIEVE the book actually has Bella come across the scent of human prey and just shamelessly smothers that tension in the crib. That's just infuriating on a new level. Then you're going to love the rest of the book!
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Jun 16, 2020 23:19
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WHY IS EVERYONE SHOCKED BELLA CAN GO WITHOUT EATING PEOPLE Canonically, there are already two other vampires in the loving coven that have never drunk human blood in their lives. Carlisle and Rosalie both went through being a newborn and never got overwhelmed by bloodlust and drank anyone. Dunno about Rose, but Carlisle was hiding in some dude's house while he transformed and would have been around way more fresh blood when he turned newborn. Bella had actual months to prepare for this and everyone is like ohhhhhh shiiiiiiit how are you doing the same thing that 2/7 members of this family have already done. That's loving craaaaaazy, Bella!
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Jun 17, 2020 00:02
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MorgaineDax posted:WHY IS EVERYONE SHOCKED BELLA CAN GO WITHOUT EATING PEOPLE Because it's narratively bullshit to spend at least two books talking about all these issues she'll face and then we get told that it's not actually a problem and we never had to worry? Also, Carlisle didn't drink blood but he also spent an unknown length of time repeatedly attempting suicide and lurching around England in agony until he figured out that he could drink animal blood. And Edward saying that Bella is more resistant than all the Cullens implies that Rosalie also had to spend some time working on it.
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Jun 17, 2020 00:08
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Rose straight up curbstomps 7 guys to death as a newborn and doesn't drink any of them, while Bella doesn't drink one hiker after getting a whiff from far away. Whatever control Bella has, Rose has to have far more. Edward is just being a dick here.
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Jun 17, 2020 00:33
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MorgaineDax posted:Rose straight up curbstomps 7 guys to death as a newborn and doesn't drink any of them, while Bella doesn't drink one hiker after getting a whiff from far away. Whatever control Bella has, Rose has to have far more. Edward is just being a dick here. This is a good point, I just completely forgot there were somewhat interesting characters in an elliptical orbit around this story.
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Jun 17, 2020 01:43
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Grammarchist posted:This is a good point, I just completely forgot there were somewhat interesting characters in an elliptical orbit around this story. That's literally the back half of this entire book, really.
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Jun 17, 2020 13:52
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Chapter 22: Promisedquote:Thinking of Renesmee brought her to that center-stage place in my strange, new, and roomy but distractible mind. So many questions. Many of which will remain unanswered! quote:“Tell me about her,” I insisted as he took my hand. Being linked barely slowed us. Okay this is just getting ridiculous now. quote:I felt a sharp pang of jealousy over this stranger. He knew her and I did not. It wasn’t fair. And of course, Bella has to immediately distract us from the weirdness of the last sentence by making it all about her. quote:“How much is she like you? How much like me? Or like I was, anyway.” Even the realities of raising a baby are completely removed from Bella's world! This really does come off like Meyer having a lot of repressed feelings about getting married and raising three kids at a young age. quote:I liked the way he said our child. The words made her more real. Except Emmett, who's currently looking for Alice's circular saw in the garage. quote:I blinked at him, a little shocked. Oh yeah, Renesmee is a weird baby. quote:He slowed our pace further, letting me absorb this. She says as she dramatically flings herself over a log, hand across her brow. quote:“Jacob isn’t suffering,” he said in a strange new tone. “Though I might be willing to change his condition,” Edward added through his teeth. For the first time, I'm on Edward's side of something. quote:“Explain what?” "Your diamond-hard labia is out." quote:I slipped my arms into his sleeves and then buttoned it swiftly over my ragged bodice. Of course, that left him without a shirt, and it was impossible not to find that distracting. Please stop. I beg of you. quote:“I’ll race you,” I said, and then cautioned, “no throwing the game this time!” Want to see a master class in skipping anything that could force interesting writing? quote:Finding my way to my new home was simpler than walking down Charlie’s street to my old one. Our scent left a clear and easy trail to follow, even running as fast as I could. That's it! That's the whole race! quote:Listening for his landing, I heard something I did not expect. So again, remember that Jacob and Renesmee were in the house when Bella woke up, and she was doing all sorts of gasping and hyperventilating. She could detect a pair of hikers from presumably miles, but the two of them a single floor below were undetectable? Did the Cullens just fill the house with potpourri and incense to disguise them? Not like it would work, since she can pick out every sensory input as she desires. What I'm saying is that Meyer has done literally no planning about any of the vampire powers. quote:I glanced at his face anxiously; Edward seemed to deliberate for a moment, and then his expression twisted from concern into something else. He shrugged, and there was an undercurrent of hostility in his voice when he said, “It’s your neck, I guess.” Edward is desperately hoping that Bella just kills Jacob here. quote:But what was Jacob doing? Why would he offer himself as a test to protect Renesmee? Hair tangled and full of forest debris, soaked in blood, wearing Edward's shirt over what little remains of her dress? quote:Then he smiled his familiar smile, the smile of a kindred spirit, and I was sure our friendship was intact. It was just like before, when we were hanging out in his homemade garage, just two friends killing time. Easy and normal. Again, I noticed that the strange need I’d felt for him before I’d changed was completely gone. He was just my friend, the way it was supposed to be. Oh gently caress off with that writing. "Now that I had the baby halfway through the book, all of our issues are magically dropped and we're back to normal!" All of the possible character development that could have occurred is just wiping the slate clean and bringing them back to how they were a year ago. This is something that could be another Forever Dawn leftover. Because the events of New Moon and Eclipse never happened in that continuity, Jacob never had anything romantic with Bella and always remained her ever-chipper best friend. It would be much easier for a writer who's already obviously lazy to find a convenient excuse to throw out 2.5 books' worth of plot and relationships to get back to her original draft. quote:It still made no sense what he was doing now, though. Was he really so selfless that he would try to protect me—with his own life—from doing something in an uncontrolled split second that I would regret in agony forever? That went way beyond simply tolerating what I had become, or miraculously managing to stay my friend. Jacob was one of the best people I knew, but this seemed like too much to accept from anyone. "One of the best people I know, discounting the multiple attempts at murder and rape." quote:His grin widened, and he shuddered slightly. “I gotta say it, Bells. You’re a freak show.” God, how did she write this dialogue and think it was cool? quote:The wind blew from behind me and I quickly filled my lungs with the safe air so I could speak. “No, he’s right. The eyes are really something, aren’t they?” How did that work? Is she turning around and inhaling the wind but nothing else in the air? Does she think the atmosphere is segmented in that way on the ground? quote:“Super-creepy. But it’s not as bad as I thought it would be.” Again, Jacob's initial reaction to hearing that Bella could have been transformed into a vampire was "Welp, guess I'm murdering her and as many of the Cullens as possible before taking her down." The time it takes him to get over that? About 10 seconds of conversation. quote:The strangest look crossed his face, erasing the smile. It was almost… guilty? Then his eyes shifted to Edward. Same. quote:Jacob snorted. "Nobody ever does that in this book!" quote:“I’ll explain later,” Jacob said self-consciously—like he didn’t really plan on it. Then he changed the subject. “First, let’s get this show on the road.” His grin was a challenge now as he started slowly forward. "Do not allow your primitive emotions to let you stray from the course the white men have chosen for us!" quote:I was glad they didn’t listen to him but only followed after him a little more slowly. This is the worst Old Spice commercial I've ever seen. quote:“Hold on to me,” I said to Edward, cringing back into his chest. So....has he showered yet? quote:It hurt a little, but my throat was already burning dully anyway. Jacob didn’t smell that much more human than the mountain lion. There was an animal edge to his blood that instantly repelled. Though the loud, wet sound of his heart was appealing, the scent that went with it made my nose wrinkle. It was actually easier with the smell to temper my reaction to the sound and heat of his pulsing blood. I was right! He hasn't showered! quote:Edward burst into laughter; his hands slipped from my shoulders to wrap around my waist. Seth barked a low chortle in harmony with Edward; he came a little closer while Leah retreated several paces. And then I was aware of another audience when I heard Emmett’s low, distinct guffaw, muffled a little by the glass wall between us. This book is a loving trip. quote:“Okay, so I passed, right?” I said. “Now are you going to tell me what this big secret is?” I really wish we were there when Jacob had to tell Emmett what he did. quote:I would have pressed my point, but as I listened to Emmett, I heard other sounds, too. Seven people breathing. One set of lungs moving more rapidly than the others. Only one heart fluttering like a bird’s wings, light and quick. As if anything that potentially interesting could happen. quote:“Come and see,” Edward murmured. “I know you can handle this.” Try whispering that without moving your lips and see how it comes out. quote:“Of course I will.” Even more lines that would make great foreshadowing for Evil Renesmee! quote:My yearning to see her, to understand the worship in his voice, broke my frozen pose. I took a step forward. Don't worry, I can rarely make sense of these characters most of the time. quote:“Shall we?” Edward said, his voice gentle again. BEHOLD quote:The stranger-child in Rosalie’s arms had to be weeks, if not months, old. She was maybe twice the size of the baby in my dim memory, and she seemed to be supporting her own torso easily as she stretched toward me. Her shiny bronze-colored hair fell in ringlets past her shoulders. Her chocolate brown eyes examined me with an interest that was not at all childlike; it was adult, aware and intelligent. She raised one hand, reaching in my direction for a moment, and then reached back to touch Rosalie’s throat. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgI_oMMIU0E Unfortunately, there's just no way to get the required look of "A 3-month-old baby with adult intelligence and emotions" without resorting to some serious Uncanny Valley CGI. What they tried first was worse. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jOuy-HOcg8 The infamous "Chuckesmee" was one of those few special effects that's such a dismal failure that you give up completely. Nikki Reed's distinctly creeped out look while holding the stuff of nightmares was the universal response among the cast and crew. quote:Rosalie patted the hand against her neck and murmured, “Yes, that’s her.”
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Jun 17, 2020 19:55
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Man that animatronic doll is some poo poo.
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Jun 17, 2020 20:20
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