StratGoatCom posted:

Furries were the canary in the coal mine about lowtax being scum.

Sincere posting here.

As Nero Danced posted:

All the same, glad to know you're doing ok buddy

Renwick Customer posted:

i found all the pictures from 'matt loves japan'. i would give anything to be able to reread the op and replies. i pray someone sees this and has a link somewhere

quote:

I'm a middle-class average guy from down home in Texas, but for the past four years I've been living in South Korea. I have worked as an English teacher, then a journalist, and currently for a Korean software company during those four years. I thought Korea was great, and I thought the girls were cool. I got a little more attention from girls in Korea than I did back home, and while it was generally shy, nervous, prudish attention from 25 year old women-childs with 11pm curfews, it had its own special charm.

But then around last weekend I went to Japan for five days, and I'm now so pissed off with Korean girls. What the hell is their problem? I feel like I've been living in the totally wrong country for the past 4 years.

I went to Japan last Thursday on business expecting to stay only 2 days, but I ended up being stranded over the weekend and coming back on Monday afternoon.

This was a VERY GOOD THING.

I knew one guy in Japan where I was staying, Joe, and called him up to see if I could get something to do over the weekend. He's a nice guy, and he said he'd meet me after he finished things on Friday night and we'd go see a few friends. Well, he is totally awesome and amazing, cuz his few friends turned out to be around 15 people at a pub nearby. When I showed up I noticed it was about half and half Japanese and foreign. I had some reservations, cuz a 50:50 Korean:foreigner party is a recipe for awkwardness and discomfort in Korea, so I paid special attention to the group dynamics. But, surprise surprise, it just looked like a bunch of friends laughing and having fun in 2 languages.

In short order I've got a beer, some munchies, and I'm deep in conversation with the two Japanese girls sitting nearest to me. This turned into an excellent conversation with one, Tomiko. I'm apparently much wittier than I thought, because she couldn't stop giggling at whatever I said, and she was fascinated with my life in Seoul. So far everything was going great!

Then, three more girls show up. One foreign chick from Germany and two cute young Japanese girls who showed her how to get to the bar, because she got lost. The two Japanese girls didn't leave, they happily sat down and started chatting up people. I noticed them at the opposite end of the long table, but I kinda figured they were way too hot for me, and Tomiko was perfectly fine already, so I continued flirting with her. But apparently the two hotties had other plans. I noticed them looking at me out of the corner of my eye, so I glanced over at them, and they both smiled and waved at me. Then, even though they were 7 seats away at least, they yelled down to the end of the table "What's your name?!" Joe, true buddy that he is, said, "You wanna go down there? I know you're single. Let me move my chair." Of course I wanted to go down there, so I excused myself from Tomiko and went down to see what the hotties wanted.

Apparently they wanted to talk to me, and weren't shy about it. Their English wasn't so great but they were completely okay with that, and we had very little problems communicating. The taller and sexier one told me that she was very lonely, because she had been without a boyfriend for a whole year. And not only that, but her ex had violenced her (her term). The shorter, cuter one said she was also very lonely, because she had been single for three whole months. I told them I'd also been single for three months, and maybe we could help each other out. They giggled.

They told me that they were 3rd year university students, and they had met when they were in high school, and they were at a boarding school together. I asked them if they still had their uniforms, cuz I'm a big perv, and they said yes, of course, they kept them for cosplay! I said... what's cosplay? And they explained to me that they enjoyed dressing up as nurses, french maids, stewardesses and chinese waitresses for fun, with their friends. The cuter one showed me a sticker book filled with pretty small sticker photos of her and various female friends, dressed up in all sorts of outfits. She was very proud of her collection.

I had to know more.

I asked them to help me out, because I was stranded in Japan for the whole weekend, and had never been to Japan before or expected to be here. They said sure, of course! They then suggested we ditch the party and go to a karaoke bar. I said sure, lets do it. But, dog that I am, before I left I gave Tomiko my hotel and room number and asked her to call me tomorrow. She said she might.

I left with cuter Ryoko and sexier Mariko, and we took off to find a karaoke bar. On the way, I asked more questions about cosplay, and they said, do you like cosplay? I said, I don't know, I've never tried it. They said, well, lets go to a cosplay room then! I wasn't sure what I was hearing. Cosplay room? They have those? They explained to me that yes, they do have cosplay rooms, and they have all the costumes there, and you can rent them for a short time and a small fee. I said yes, cosplay first, karaoke second.

We arrived at the place, and they led me to a large wall with lots of photos there. There were really all the costumes anyone could think of. They told me to pick which two I liked best. It was hard you know, because there were like 5 varieties of French Maid, 4 different Sexy Nurses, an entire row of schoolgirl outfits, policewoman, shopping mall information desk girls (they have these in asia, big floppy hats and felt vests), stewardesses from all the major airlines, army girls, and even lawyer girls. But I was with a sexier and willowy Mariko, and a cuter and shorter Ryoko, so I knew what I had to go with. I chose the sexy French Maid with Kitty Ears for Mariko, and a Knee-Stockinged Schoolgirl outfit for Ryoko.

They said oooh, sexy! You like sexy? I did in fact like sexy, and told them so. Then they went and got the costumes from the attendant, and let me to the changing area. They pointed to a spot on the floor and said, you stand here. We will go change. Obediently, I stood where I was told, and realized that it gave a small glimpse of the changing room. Did they do that on purpose, I wonder? I was unsure, so I only stole a few glances. Even when there's a curtain mostly covering the scene, just seeing skirts drop to the ground can really reach down and touch you deep inside. Then Mariko the French Maid came out. She walked in front of me and did a little kind of fist-high salute, and said, "Da daaa! Sexy?" It was sexy. After that, Ryoko the schoolgirl came out and did the same cute salute. She also pointed to the place between where her knee high stockings stopped and her skirt began. "You like?" she asked. I liked.

Then, it was apparently time to take pictures. We went into Japanese-speaking automated photo booth and we had to pose for about 12 different photos for about 10 seconds each. I was kinda into sensory overload by this time, so the girls took charge, plopping down on my lap and pulling my arms around them. The camera flashed, and they switched positions. Behind me, to the side, one sitting on my lap while the other pretended to look offended, then the other way. It was much more fun than I was expecting from my first evening ever in Japan.

After that, we edited the photos and printed them out, and they gave them to me. They paid for it too, while I was still engrossed in looking at what we had just accomplished. They said they wanted to give me a good memory of Japan. And then they asked me if Japan was the best. I had to admit, Japan is the best.

After that we went to karaoke, where they started out by singing Tatu, All The Things She Said. Mariko said to me, "Ryoko and I like Tatu, because we are like Tatu." But Ryoko looked shocked and said, "No, no, we are not!" Mariko just giggled.

We ordered more beer at the karaoke bar and I thought this might end up being a textbook Dear Penthouse finish. But Mariko started getting a lot of text messages in Japanese on her phone, and the girls started rapidly discussing them in Japanese when it was my turn to sing. I was too drunk to care, but I should have, because I think that's what kept the evening from going into pure fantasy territory. The girls seemed to get more shy as the night wore on. They complimented me on my singing though, so I hope it wasn't that. I put my arm around the girl sitting next to me, Mariko, but she got up and basically told Ryoko to take her place. Ryoko was just fine with that, and snuggled up to me happy as could be, but she seemed to get even more shy. Also, Mariko started acting like a cockblock and tried to keep us from fooling around too much.

The night ended with me getting a few shy kisses from Ryoko, and Mariko ended up acting like a motherly cockblock. I paid for the karaoke room, which was about $40 for 2 hours, and we walked to a road where I could catch a taxi. The girls said they were both staying at Mariko's house, because Ryoko was visiting from out of town. I said I was interested in seeing a real Japanese house, but Mariko launched into this long explanation of how her brother was there, and the house was small, and blah blah whatever. I just said fine, fine. When we got to a place to take a taxi, we exchanged email addresses and I gave Ryoko a good night kiss. Then I got into the taxi and went back to my hotel, alone.

Not the perfect finish, but it was only my first night in Japan, right? I'm sure I'd be able to perfect it given a week, or a month.

Then the next day Tomiko, the girl I basically abandoned, called me and woke me up, and we met for lunch. Then we spent the whole day together visiting some Japanese shrine in the mountains called Dazaifu. I donated some cash at the shrine and got a fortune in return, and Tomiko read it to me. She said it said I was very lucky. I believed it.

Later on I started thinking what the hell? Why haven't I had anything as fun happen to me in Korea? I've had enough Korean girlfriends, but the relationships were so full of self-inflicted bullshit, its like they didn't even want to be happy. Korean girls are more worried about their reputation than a Baptist virgin in a small town in Texas, and I definitely know what I'm talking about there.

I remember thinking to myself... when did it get so hard to just have a good time in Korea? What the hell, Korean women? What the hell?

Oh, and I almost forgot. Here are the top 6 pics from my first night ever in Japan:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2791156

Peanut Butler posted:

was it lowtax, or someone else, who started giving them nazi concentration camp stars

Renwick Customer posted:

i found all the pictures from 'matt loves japan'. i would give anything to be able to reread the op and replies. i pray someone sees this and has a link somewhere








fooaaking SNOIPE

Booty Pageant posted:

the bourgeois will not get away with embroiding the name of their boats on towelery and sofa cushions!!!

Renwick Customer posted:

it was elf pr0n, yes

Rrussom posted:

I do gotta say, Burt be gilf as gently caress
https://imgur.com/gallery/M80alug

Peanut Butler posted:

was it lowtax, or someone else, who started giving them nazi concentration camp stars

Lowtax posted:

I still maintain that the Furry Concentration Camp, in which I told all furries they could avoid being banned if they admitted being furries and getting a Star of Yiff avatar, and then one day I changed all their account privileges to only be allowed to post in the Furry Concentration Camp, and soon turned it into the Gas Chamber and mass banned them, is one of the great things many people have forgotten about this forum's history

AphexMandelbrot posted:

he loving blocked out the "lolita" on the towels and cropped distinguishable features of his daughter's face out.

like, are you new to the internet or just dense

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW posted:

The funniest poo poo ever was the fyad recreation of that photo

Booty Pageant posted:

the bourgeois will not get away with embroiding the name of their boats on towelery and sofa cushions!!!

WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW posted:

The funniest poo poo ever was the fyad recreation of that photo

Drive-Thru Salad Bar posted:

Lurdiak posted:

Yeah Kiwifarms telling the truth is like when the Daily Mail actually has a correct headline. Just because it technically can happen doesn't mean you should trust it.

Tiler Kiwi posted:

dang is it time for me to crack out all those gbs fur crew sigs i most assuredly still have and didnt end up deleting years ago

sliami posted:

Goddamn "I went to two foreign countries and was a creepy rear end orientalist, but these two girls were totally sincerely into me and not fleecing my stupid rear end"

quote:

Come on man, you've been here for 2 years. Why would you set yourself up for the ensuing GBS ridicule?

Rahul posted:

https://forums.somethingawful.com/dictionary.php?act=3&topicid=381

sliami posted:

I'll look at the sigs. I'm a graphic design historian

smarxist posted:

It was him. he ranted about how it was an incredible bit of comedy that he should get more credit for lmao

it was uncle Rico pitching footballs into the camera

Roth posted:

What will everyone's fursona be in the upcoming furry rsf?

Roth posted:

What will everyone's fursona be in the upcoming furry rsf?

Roth posted:

What will everyone's fursona be in the upcoming furry rsf?

Drive-Thru Salad Bar posted:

Roth posted:

What will everyone's fursona be in the upcoming furry rsf?

BrainDance posted:

how come old goons threw up so much?

bunch of weak rear end stomachs

Nyeehg posted:

As someone who only lurks specific forums, who is Jeffrey of YOSPOS?

Also because I didn't say it before gently caress you Lowtax

BrainDance posted:

how come old goons threw up so much?

bunch of weak rear end stomachs

BrainDance posted:

how come old goons threw up so much?

bunch of weak rear end stomachs

Barudak posted:

The towel appears to be a branded towel by Lolita who makes wine glasses, towels, and other tchotckes with that imagery and are aimed at adult women cause their theme is lolita shopaholic.