Alaois posted:

hello teenage america. I'm here to humbly request someone please find and quote the post about superman beating bizarro superman to death while crying. thank you in advance.

SlimGoodBody posted:

On that note, I think Bizarro, while maybe not a good villain to carry a movie, could be a tragic and beautiful piece of plot for a Supes movie. Someone (maybe Luthor, yawn) attempts to clone a Superman they can control, or maybe reverse engineer Superman-like abilities with a few drops of his blood. They want to use it to discredit the original Supes and turn public opinion against him. Bizarro ends up breaking loose and rampaging.

Don't make him evil, make him really dishearteningly broken in the head. He just keeps trying to "help" and "do the right thing," but he gets it all wrong because he's mentally deficient. Think Lenny trying to pet the rabbits. The plot arc culminates in Superman realizing that no amount of interposing will ever stop Bizarro from trying to do the right thing, just as no amount of interference would ever stop Superman from trying to do the right thing. We see Superman crying as he has to beat the life out of Bizarro, who doesn't understand what he's done. Superman doesn't want to do it, but it's a burden he has to bear in order to make the world safer. Supes has a period of reflection on whether he's any different, or if he's getting in the way of humanity moving itself forward by coddling it so much. He decides that he has to follow Bizarro's example and keep trying to do right, no matter what, and goes to take on the big bad guy that was responsible for/controlling Bizarro with a new sense of anger and purpose.

Or something. Whatever. You get the idea.

purple death ray posted:

Hang on a sec

It's old enough that links don't seem to work

RFC2324 posted:

holy poo poo I think I just figured out wtf he was talking about.

she was squeezing the water out of her hair after she got out

1stGear posted:

PMing you an address, go to it at 6:30 sharp tonight. Tell no one what you witness inside or this door will be closed to you forever.

purple death ray posted:

Hang on a sec

It's old enough that links don't seem to work

purple death ray posted:

Hang on a sec

It's old enough that links don't seem to work

RFC2324 posted:

holy poo poo I think I just figured out wtf he was talking about.

she was squeezing the water out of her hair after she got out

Solice Kirsk posted:

I always thought he just meant she asked if she had to put it in a ponytail, the doctor said no, and then she didn't. This pissed him off because then it would get in the way, or something.

mind the walrus posted:

You're thinking of "Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow."



Red Son is kind-of rear end.

ClamdestineBoyster posted:

They should just write a fairy tale where the recurring theme is “oh hey look a woman hey she looks nice and is cool to talk to oh no wait she is actually not a woman she’s really a dog haha you are so loving stupid for not being able to tell she’s just a stupid loving dog your sexuality is loving stupid and your stupid loving parents are dogs too and gently caress your couch and gently caress you life I’m gonna disrespect all the poo poo you cherish and break all of your poo poo I can legally get away with and act the part of the shithead dog even though I’m not really a dog because I want to see if you know I’m a dog and I don’t really care if mentally break you because I really need to test someone who is never going to gently caress or have children with me to see if they’re cool or whatever.”

christmas boots posted:

You know, any other villain would decide that Superman should be the dead one.

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

just remembered the classic *points to my dilznick* post

Absurd Alhazred posted:

stolen elf dick valor

elise the great posted:

prehensile pussy plagiarism

Platystemon posted:

Pastry, Platystemon pleads “please push ‘prehensile pussy plagiarism‘ posthaste”.

Captain Hygiene posted:

Absurd Alhazred posted:

That would be stolen elf dick valor.

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

By the Gods, if I weren't Vincent Van Goatse I should wish to be Elf Dick Weirdo.

Trevor Hale posted:

Vincent Van Goatse
Elfdicko
Jan van elf dyck
Henri de Toulouse-Elfdick
Elfdick Dürer

Rust Martialis posted:

Claude Monelfdick

Also Elf Dicko should clearly be two words

Captain Hygiene posted:

The rear end of Elfmontdickio

dee eight posted:

I'm confident that 99.9% of you will not get the reference*: Fearless Elfdick



*without google

RFC2324 posted:

holy poo poo I think I just figured out wtf he was talking about.

she was squeezing the water out of her hair after she got out

Splicer posted:

He had a day off from school and is mad he spent it at the doctor's office. He doesn't like showering, but he got up late and was told he could skip showering. He then had to get in water anyway and is mad at the (perceived) bait and switch.

He doesn't like tight clothes, but has heard of or seen his sister or other girls/women deliberately wearing tight or revealing clothing for inexplicable reasons. If she'd held her hair up like in a shower he might have conceded that the showerlike situation might have outweighed her joy at wearing tight clothing, but since her hair was down she obviously must have been enjoying it.

So not only did he have to spend his day off at the doctors in tight clothes in water after being deceived into thinking he wouldn't have to get wet today, but his sister got to spend a whole 8 minutes in tight clothes and she didn't even have to hold her hair up.

Cessna posted:

At my last command my Company CO was an absolute prick. I'd been in his company a bit in the Gulf War and hated him then; he was a not particularly competent Martinet, think "Frank Burns."

Two days before I got out I went blatantly UA (USMC for AWOL) and took an extended lunch. We were between classes so my platoon CO was okay with it, but the Company CO would have been a dick about it if he knew. I drove home (off-base apartment), took a loooooong lunch, then drove back to the base. As I was making the turn from I-78 to I-5 a van in front of me skidded and swerved off the road - and flipped on its side into the bushes. I stopped my motorcycle on the side of the highway and ran to help. I opened the door and pulled the driver and passenger out - a small fire had started - and gave them some basic first aid (hold here to stop the bleeding, etc.) A bunch of other cars stopped and called 911, an soon ambulance, fire, and police showed up. I told the firefighters what had happened and drove back to the base. I washed up and told my platoon commander what had happened; he said I'd done the right thing.

Unbeknownst to me one of the other cars that had stopped had a reporter for the Oceanside Citizen, the local newspaper in it. (It was the 90's newspapers still existed.) He'd taken photos.

The next morning - my LAST day in the Corps - I showed up to work. My platoon commander said, "The CO wants to see you." Huh, maybe he'll say something nice on my last day in.

There on his desk was a copy of the newspaper. "MARINE SAVES LIVES IN CAR ACCIDENT" was right there on the front page. There was a photo of me giving the driver first aid. My face and name-tape with my name were clearly visible. And, yes, the reporter had put down the time in the article.

Company CO tossed me a box with a Navy Achievement Award in it and said, "Sergeant _____, you are the only fucker I know who could go UA and get a goddamn medal for it. Get the hell out of my office."

Vulgar posted:

Elf on a shelf with a weird dick

elise the great posted:

It’s arrogant enough that I’ve gone by “elise the great” since I was eighteen, imagine what kind of hubris it would take for me to care about prehensile pussy plagiarism

Randaconda posted:

https://twitter.com/aeshryver_/status/1277620854571126791
you could tell me there already was a YA series called Daughter of Glass and Bone and I'd believe you

Zil posted:

Song BoneBone

oldpainless posted:

Crossroads remix looking good

Jedit posted:

10/10 post/avatar combo there.