PYF: Funny Forum Quotes: Agent (7)47

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elise the great: May 1, 2012; You do not have to be good. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

Wait, what double meaning? poo poo gently caress

# ? Jul 1, 2020 17:00

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# ? May 30, 2024 10:18

Dameius: Apr 3, 2006

Your avatar is a NSFW picture of elf mating, ya sicko.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 17:12

90s Cringe Rock: Nov 29, 2006

Teleporno getting some of that good Elf-Queen tentacle.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 17:18

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Check out that guy! He doesn't know how to use the three elfdicks!

# ? Jul 1, 2020 17:24

Ornamental Dingbat: Feb 26, 2007

Trevor Hale posted:

Vincent Van Goatse
Elfdicko
Jan van elf dyck
Henri de Toulouse-Elfdick
Elfdick D�rer

All these and no Pablo Elfdickasso?

# ? Jul 1, 2020 17:29

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

Ornamental Dingbat posted:

All these and no Pablo Elfdickasso?

Pabelf Dickasso flows better imo

# ? Jul 1, 2020 17:33

My Lovely Horse: Aug 21, 2010

Elfpricasso

# ? Jul 1, 2020 17:36

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

I keep trying to think of one but all I'm coming up with is "Crackson Bollocks."

E: ...Elf-rear end-quez?

Fleta Mcgurn has a new favorite as of 17:42 on Jul 1, 2020

# ? Jul 1, 2020 17:37

Trevor Hale: Dec 8, 2008; What have I become, my Swedish friend?

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

I keep trying to think of one but all I'm coming up with is "Crackson Bollocks."

E: ...Elf-rear end-quez?

I really liked Edger Degas but I wanted to stick to elf dicks.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 17:43

Fleta Mcgurn: Oct 5, 2003; Porpoise noise continues.

Trevor Hale posted:

I really liked Edger Degas but I wanted to stick to elf dicks.

I feel like many people have said this before

E: wait I get it now!!!! Hahaha noice

# ? Jul 1, 2020 17:44

Grammarchist: Jan 28, 2013

A while back someone made a spiritual sequel to that one post from 2008 about Obama growing to the size of a mountain and sending all the Muslims to a new Eden on the Moon.

Most of it was about living on a dead Earth while the Boomers praised the economy, culminating with a mysterious figure descending from the moon. The Boomers set upon the figure, who shatters into pieces that fall to the ground. Millennials plant the pieces hoping to see flowers bloom again.

Does that ring any bells?

# ? Jul 1, 2020 18:06

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

Grammarchist posted:

A while back someone made a spiritual sequel to that one post from 2008 about Obama growing to the size of a mountain and sending all the Muslims to a new Eden on the Moon.

Most of it was about living on a dead Earth while the Boomers praised the economy, culminating with a mysterious figure descending from the moon. The Boomers set upon the figure, who shatters into pieces that fall to the ground. Millennials plant the pieces hoping to see flowers bloom again.

Does that ring any bells?

I think you're combining 2 different posts there, I think the one with the boomers and the economy was about trump and it was a sequel/riff on the older Obama one. As far as I remember the Obama one ended with the Muslims being discovered on the moon.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 18:17

Grammarchist: Jan 28, 2013

purple death ray posted:

I think you're combining 2 different posts there, I think the one with the boomers and the economy was about trump and it was a sequel/riff on the older Obama one. As far as I remember the Obama one ended with the Muslims being discovered on the moon.

Yeah, that sounds right. I keep trying to find the second, but I wasn't in the right head space to save it when I first saw it.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 18:19

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

elise the great posted:

Wait, what double meaning? poo poo gently caress

It's a stick wrapped in tentacles

# ? Jul 1, 2020 18:24

DarkDobe: Jul 11, 2008; Things are looking up...

elise the great posted:

Wait, what double meaning? poo poo gently caress

Elise, what is the story behind your title. I must know.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 18:26

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

DarkDobe posted:

Elise, what is the story behind your title. I must know.

Oh god no

# ? Jul 1, 2020 18:28

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Danaru posted:

Oh god no

# ? Jul 1, 2020 18:30

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

DarkDobe posted:

Elise, what is the story behind your title. I must know.

you REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to know

# ? Jul 1, 2020 18:31

elise the great: May 1, 2012; You do not have to be good. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

Oh my god, I�ve had that avatar for years and years, it predates the elf dick thing. Holy poo poo, maybe I subliminally came up with the tentacles thing from staring at that Starfleet Dental caduceus all the time.

And uh. There�s been a lot of necrotic buttslough over the years. I can�t remember if this one was about the guy who had a severe perianal/sacral deep-tissue pressure injury + fecal excoriation and eventually died of it, or one of the endless list of patients with massive tunneling rear end wounds full of gray stringy slime.

The redtext is, I guess, a way of warning people that most of what I posted for a long time was just work stories from the ICU, and therefore unreadably disgusting.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 18:41

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

Under no circumstances are you to post a link to any of those stories.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 18:43

DarkDobe: Jul 11, 2008; Things are looking up...

Post the links.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 18:45

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Funny Forum Quotes: There’s been a lot of necrotic buttslough over the years.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 18:57

elise the great: May 1, 2012; You do not have to be good. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

This is just a bunch of my posts in the old Health Care Thread. If you read this you will get to watch about a decade of my growth and development as a nurse, writer, and human, so apologies for that.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3469571&userid=186607

There�s a new Health Care Thread in the Goon Doc subforum now. I am BY NO MEANS the only person posting quality content in there� it�s basically a shared break room for healthcare workers to vent and bitch and share horror stories. Highly recommended if you wanna read a poo poo ton of medical crap.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 19:00

Outrail: Jan 4, 2009; www.sapphicrobotica.com

elise the great posted:

Highly recommended if you wanna read a poo poo ton of medical crap.

Yeah I see what you did there

# ? Jul 1, 2020 19:17

Pope Hilarius II: Nov 10, 2008

elise the great posted:

Oh my god, I�ve had that avatar for years and years, it predates the elf dick thing. Holy poo poo, maybe I subliminally came up with the tentacles thing from staring at that Starfleet Dental caduceus all the time.

And uh. There�s been a lot of necrotic buttslough over the years. I can�t remember if this one was about the guy who had a severe perianal/sacral deep-tissue pressure injury + fecal excoriation and eventually died of it, or one of the endless list of patients with massive tunneling rear end wounds full of gray stringy slime.

The redtext is, I guess, a way of warning people that most of what I posted for a long time was just work stories from the ICU, and therefore unreadably disgusting.

Ah, I used to think it was a reference to GE Cafe

For the minority who might not know, GE Cafe was a morbidly obese goon who masturbated anally in the shower and began reporting concerns that at one point a bit of his rear end literally fell out after a particularly vigorous anal stimulation session

# ? Jul 1, 2020 21:09

Son of Thunderbeast: Sep 21, 2002

So I greased up Mr Sunshine and

# ? Jul 1, 2020 21:11

Splicer: Oct 16, 2006; from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

elise the great posted:

Oh my god, I�ve had that avatar for years and years, it predates the elf dick thing. Holy poo poo, maybe I subliminally came up with the tentacles thing from staring at that Starfleet Dental caduceus all the time.

The elf dicks are leaching into your life retroactively. Soon you'll start remembering saturday mornings eating hotdog spaghetti and watching cartoons about a pepperoni loving octopus.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 21:20

elise the great: May 1, 2012; You do not have to be good. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

If you�re suggesting that I spent my teenage years obsessively writing fanfiction about sexy elves

# ? Jul 1, 2020 21:25

Matlack Radio: Jun 2, 2006

Grammarchist posted:

Yeah, that sounds right. I keep trying to find the second, but I wasn't in the right head space to save it when I first saw it.

Here is the first one, which is good enough to post again forever:

GROVER CURES HOUSE posted:

2:05 PM eastern standard time, the Muslims have vanished.

Check for yourself if you don�t believe me. Where have they gone to?

There is speculation, of course. Scientists mention a cosmic storm that passed the Earth on January 20. A man says they are all in caves. Certain groups lament a faulty Rapture. A woman says he has taken their power and absorbed it into himself. She means Barack Obama. I doubt it, but he does seem somehow taller. The ground rumbles at times. The breaking news says WASHINGTON DC, with red concentric circles. I�m uneasy, but what can we do? Terror is defeated and if Obama were a Muslim, he�d be just as gone as them. There�s no cause for alarm.

Within months, Barack Obama has declared a war on vague unease. It�s a good idea, because frankly we could all use some peace of mind. Approval rating is higher than ever now that the Muslims had left, but I don�t think we are happy yet. His eyes are shining sometimes, as a deer�s eyes shine in a flashlight beam. Small fissures criss-cross the pavement. Trees are swaying, but the breeze is gone. Something is changing in our world.

Aeroplanes don�t exist anymore. Scientists explain that the density of the air is too low to support their wings. Then how do we breathe?! We should have died by now, but I think we are evolving. Our bodies haven�t changed, but the atmosphere..

One man says it was the rapture after all, and we have since entered the Kingdom of God. Barack is now the size of an oak tree. He sleeps outside since the rains have ceased, and his skin is thick to bullets. Now he wanders through he countryside impassively. He ignores a rural photo-op. He studies a leaf for twenty days. Only a fool would call this Heaven.  Satellites fall to earth like rain used to. No friction burns them away, so we trudge past countless flecks of solar panel and ribbons of golden cloth. It�s a silent car crash every few hours, though cars themselves no longer run. No oxygen remains to ignite their fuel. Obama strides across the landscape, taller than the Freedom Tower. We�ve given up on assassination; all men are immortal now, and guns no longer fire.

I�m starting to wish the Muslims were back.

We found them with a telescope. Images of a colony on the right side of the moon. See the parts that jut from the lower right? I think they�re mosques. Soon they are visible to the naked eye, but how? Their cities are enormous. We watch them as they live and die. They have our former atmosphere; the moon is fringed with blue. �Look at how they wield their guns,� writes a man. �I always said he�d take our guns away.� They eat and sleep like we once did, building worthless ziggurats. We have everything we wanted, but oh how we envy their strife!

It�s long been clear that Obama brought this uncomfortable perfection upon us, but I can�t bring myself to blame him for it. He�s reminded us all of how our lives had been discarded out of fear. I know now why he grows each day. In time, when we are ready he will reach out into space. He will raise us up in his great hand, to this new Earth that gleams like a frozen star. And if Obama does not carry us, we can climb� 

VV Thank you.

Matlack Radio has a new favorite as of 05:49 on Jul 2, 2020

# ? Jul 1, 2020 21:28

Dagen H: Mar 19, 2009; Hogertrafikomlaggningen

/\ that was GROVER CURES HOUSE

# ? Jul 1, 2020 21:48

Cichlidae: Aug 12, 2005; ME LOVE
MAKE RED LIGHT; Dr. Infant, MD

I guess after all these years, it doesn't hurt to say it: I am Dildomancer, I'm the one who made all the weird dicks. I still get PMs/emails on a pretty frequent basis from folks reading the thread for the first time. Props to Elise for turning a bizarre-but-ordinary thread into something great.

I need to catch up on the Medical Stories thread, but the original is why I make sure to get 3 Dunkin' Donuts gift certs (one for each shift) each time I'm in the hospital (for non-dildo-related reasons, I assure you.)

# ? Jul 1, 2020 22:01

Zetsubou-san: Jan 28, 2015; Cruel Bifaunidas demanded that you [stand]🧍 I require only that you [kneel]🧎

all this time i though grover was one of the leading causes of house

# ? Jul 1, 2020 22:02

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

Every time I read that it bugs me that the satellites are coming down without air friction to decay their orbits :spergin:

# ? Jul 1, 2020 22:33

sleepwalkers: Dec 7, 2008

but doctor, i am the elf dick weirdo

# ? Jul 1, 2020 22:36

Karia: Mar 27, 2013; Self-portrait, Snake on a Plane
Oil painting, c. 1482-1484
Leonardo DaVinci (1452-1591)

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Check out that guy! He doesn't know how to use the three elfdicks!

Holden Elfdicks
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nv6FMEvNiWo&t=214s

# ? Jul 1, 2020 22:39

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

Sagebrush posted:

Every time I read that it bugs me that the satellites are coming down without air friction to decay their orbits

Out of everything in that story that violates the laws of physics, thermodynamics and reality in general, that's what sticks in your craw?

# ? Jul 1, 2020 22:40

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

elise the great posted:

If you’re suggesting that I spent my teenage years obsessively writing fanfiction about sexy elves

I wouldn't use the word "suggesting", no.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 22:44

elise the great: May 1, 2012; You do not have to be good. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

Cichlidae posted:

I guess after all these years, it doesn't hurt to say it: I am Dildomancer, I'm the one who made all the weird dicks. I still get PMs/emails on a pretty frequent basis from folks reading the thread for the first time. Props to Elise for turning a bizarre-but-ordinary thread into something great.

I need to catch up on the Medical Stories thread, but the original is why I make sure to get 3 Dunkin' Donuts gift certs (one for each shift) each time I'm in the hospital (for non-dildo-related reasons, I assure you.)

You are the hero that SA doesn�t deserve o7

# ? Jul 1, 2020 22:46

Phlegmish: Jul 2, 2011

Cichlidae posted:

I guess after all these years, it doesn't hurt to say it: I am Dildomancer, I'm the one who made all the weird dicks.

What a great sentence.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 23:11

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# ? May 30, 2024 10:18

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

purple death ray posted:

Out of everything in that story that violates the laws of physics, thermodynamics and reality in general, that's what sticks in your craw?

yeah, because it's internally inconsistent.

i'm fine with barack obama becoming the size of an oak tree; nothing in the story says he can't. but satellites only de-orbit because of air friction and it says right there that that isn't happening any more.

could have used a science editor

# ? Jul 1, 2020 23:17

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