goethe.cx posted:

Just ran across this on Twitter. Fuckin lol

Danaru posted:

Cucked by God

SpaceCadetBob posted:

So is the ship a loss then? What kind of vessel was it?

sharkytm posted:

LHD. They'll fix it.

Super Soaker Party! posted:

I mean it's a loving US ship, why wouldn't it be LHD. You expect Are Navy to drive on the right hand side of the searoad??

idiot.

Scratch Monkey posted:

https://twitter.com/Umbrony/status/1278088443436957707?s=20

Paladinus posted:

My crimes:
- Stealing sweets from multiple babies, including orphans
- Maintaining an extensive list of slurs in 73 languages
- Managing an ask blog fro Brad Pitt, while not being Brad Pitt
- Running an anime conversion camp in my basement (1/?)

Platystemon posted:

That was a permaban, albeit one soon evaded.

Blue Footed Booby posted:

One time I got home from elementary school when my mom was out of town and my dad had left work early because, and I quote, "you're a man now; it's time you see Conan the Barbarian." We rented the VHS from Hollywood Video and it kicked rear end.

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

Was this an aberration, or do you have a super cool dad?

Pilchenstein posted:

The next day he left a note saying "I have nothing more to teach you" and disappeared forever

mind the walrus posted:

Yeah but that douche said he was starting a cool offsite we'd all get to go to and he hasn't updated in like, forever.

----------

Pastry of the Year posted:

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Ooh, that reminds me of the "why was I bullied as a kid" quote. Anyone have that lying around? I remember the reasons including "had the word 'homo' instead of a mouth" and "both parents were charles manson (long story)."

quote:

was i picked on in middle school? hmm let me think
* Weighed 750 pounds
* Parents were both Charles Manson (long story)
* Wore a bath robe to school every day
* Had the word "homo" instead of a mouth

Splicer posted:

I'm looking for a podcast search engine that lets you search by number of podcasters. Or just a list of podcasts with three people and none of them are macelroys

Imagined posted:

Three shall be the hosts thou shalt have, and the number of the hosts shall be three. Four shalt thou not have, neither have thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. McElroys are right out.

Doc Hawkins posted:

i think anyone who successfully manages a cabaret club must understand that many other men enjoy talking to and sitting next to women, and sometimes even buying them drinks.

The Lone Badger posted:

That's the other guy I think. The one with the eyepatch.

SiKboy posted:

Both of them have managed Cabaret Clubs (Kiryu club four shine in Kiwami 2, and Majima club sunshine in Zero). Kiryu also managed individual hostesses in yakuza 3, but that minigame was dogshit in comparison to the club management.

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

I thought I was in the Animal Crossing thread when I started reading this and I got real confused!

chitoryu12 posted:

https://twitter.com/zachheltzel/status/1282491411477061632

Sex Hobbit posted:

also literally anyone with a pussy could have told you it was the hitachi, those things can make people on SSRIs nut

The Lone Badger posted:

Suddenly I wish I had a clit.

Lobok posted:

I could spend each day vibratin',
Breakin' only for hydratin',
And occasionally a poo poo
Could stop the foolishness o' flirtin'
And start some tool-assisted squirtin'
If I only had a clit

I'd compare some wands for wages
Massage myself for papers' pages
My reviews'd be a hit
They'd crown me the queen B of buzzin'
Orgasms cheaper by the dozen
If I only had a clit

Phy posted:

bony tony posted:

Hitachi has sold the patent, I think

Anyway it works tremendously well even if you don't have a clit

Outrail posted:

Do you whack your knob with it or stick it up your rear end? Asking for a friend.

RobrtDwnsySyndrome posted:

My friend, Sisyphus achieves greatness every time he accomplishes his goal, and every morning awakens to the opportunity to do it again

Dungeon Ecology posted:

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM MY HANDS AGAINST HIS GIANT BOULDER. ITS THE SAME rear end BOULDER IVE BEEN PUSHING FOR ETERNITY, AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START LAMENTING THE FUTILITY OF MY TASK. I TOIL EVERY STEP AND I TOIL HARD. MAKING GRUNTING SOUNDS WHEN I MESS UP MY FOOTING. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY INSULTED THE PANTHEONS MOST POWERFUL DEITY. I CAN AND I SAY IT EVERYDAY BUT ALL IT DOES IS PROVE THAT ZEUS CAN STILL BE AN IMMATURE JEKR. 24 HOURS INCLUDING ROLLDOWN.

Quiet Feet posted:

Black & Decker should make a vibrator and call it the Lustbuster.

haveblue posted:

https://twitter.com/Foone/status/1264928178281213952

(Entire thread is great)

Ugly In The Morning posted:

There was a professor at Northwestern who got fired for demonstating a "fucksaw" to a class.

I don't have the article handy but I feel like all the keywords for googlin' are there.

Phlegmish posted:

Then we're at an impasse, because I don't feel like googling 'fucksaw'

Lobok posted:

For fucksaw's sake, here:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/northwestern-university-p_n_830423

Outrail posted:

Do you whack your knob with it or stick it up your rear end? Asking for a friend.

Dungeon Ecology posted:

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM MY HANDS AGAINST HIS GIANT BOULDER. ITS THE SAME rear end BOULDER IVE BEEN PUSHING FOR ETERNITY, AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START LAMENTING THE FUTILITY OF MY TASK. I TOIL EVERY STEP AND I TOIL HARD. MAKING GRUNTING SOUNDS WHEN I MESS UP MY FOOTING. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY INSULTED THE PANTHEONS MOST POWERFUL DEITY. I CAN AND I SAY IT EVERYDAY BUT ALL IT DOES IS PROVE THAT ZEUS CAN STILL BE AN IMMATURE JEKR. 24 HOURS INCLUDING ROLLDOWN.

chitoryu12 posted:

DarkSoulsTantrum posted:

I thought motorboating was for boobs. I don’t think blowing air into a vagina is generally a good idea?

Leavemywife posted:

I'm pretty sure this dude is used to blowing up his girlfriends.

captainOrbital posted:

Unless you're Andrew Dobson.

Outrail posted:

Do you whack your knob with it or stick it up your rear end? Asking for a friend.