quote:

You swing your blade and decapitate a guard. You swing again, this time beheading him. 

Ruffian Price posted:

1 posted:

I wondered what would happen if you fed something that already looked like the output of a Markov Chain generator - say, 17,400 GBS thread titles - into a Markov chain generator...



... and it turns out it doesn't really change that much; GBS in, GBS out.

Captain Hygiene posted:

It's weird, for as advanced as it seems a lot of the time, there were a noticeable number of immediate self contradictions like that in the session I did. Like, you get fooled by the callbacks to previous characters and locations (Waffle House) but then it does stuff like this to remind you it really doesn't know anything.

quote:

You are Pope Benedict. You were enjoying your bowl of tasty Yontelbrot for dinner but swiss guards stormed your apartment. Soon Cardinal Bertone pointed a finger at you and told the guards to throw you in the Vatican City jail. Now you are in jail, dethroned, and longing for your bowl of tasty Yontelbrot.

The only thing is, you don't have any money with which to bribe the guards.

> You say "My young lad, why have I been put in Jail?"
"Why have I been put in Jail? Why has my humble existence come to an end? What crime did I commit that I am being punished like this?"

The guard looks at you and shakes his head.

> You say "Can I bless your family?"
"What?

> You say "I am the Pope, I give blessings"
The guard seems a bit skeptical but pulls out his baton and says "Fine, you can bless my family."
You bless his wife and child.

> You say "Now can I have a bowl of tasty Yontelbrot?"
The guard starts to say "But I'm not finished with you yet" but he sees the bliss in your eyes and realizes that he has overstepped his boundaries.

> You say "What do you mean young lad?"
The guard, looking uncomfortable, replies "Erm, the bowl of Yontelbrot?"
You reply "Is not mine, give it to the poor!

> You say "Actually no! I want to eat the Yontelbrot myself! Give the bread to the poor."
The guard is shocked by your rudeness. "No, you cannot eat the bread! It is blessed!"
"Blessed? It's just bread!

> You say "I unbless the bread! I can since I am the pope! I would just show you if you could open the jail."
The guard opens the door to the jail cell and you find that it is indeed possible to eat the bread. You have no idea why it would be so hard for you.

> You say "Go to the kitchen my man and take some Yontelbrot."
The guard replies "But the bread is only given to the poor, the dying and the sick!"

> You say "Yontelbrot is a kind of soup."
You reply "The soup is just bread. I can easily eat the bread."
"I'm not taking your orders, you're not in charge here!" The guard says defiantly and walks away from you.

> You say "Bring back peace to your heart young lad. If I can I will get some Yontelbrot in the kitchen. Will you escort me?"
The guard is quiet and walks back to you.
You begin to walk through the halls of the Vatican Museum of art, still hungry for the taste of the delicious bread.
After a while you come across the kitchens and easily get some bread. You manage to get some soup out of a vending machine in the Vatican City.

> You say "Now that I have had my Yontelbrot I can see what Cardinal Bertone has been scheming."
You walk into the office of the Chief Vatican Strategist, or whatever they call it. The room is filled with the staff and supplies needed for writing strategy.
You find the oldest looking person there and ask him about why the other cardinals are not attending the conclave.
He replies that they are arguing whether to send you into exile or kill you.

> You gasp and ask "why?"
He explains that you are the fifth and youngest pope in history. The other cardinals, believing that a young, popular and attractive candidate is more likely to win, decided that you would be more dangerous than not attending.

> You protest "But becoming pope is not a popularity contest, It's a vocation! I need to sheeperd my church in these tiring times of turmoil!"
He understands your reasons, but adds that the other cardinals believe you to be an arrogant fool who doesn't know how to play the game.

> You summon the papal satellites and destroy the conclave, kill the cardinals and win.
You do not bother with this conclave, this one is a sham. You bring down the Vatican state and execute all the cardinals.
You become the only leader of the Roman Catholic Church.

quote:

> You sleep for 200 years.
Year: 2349
It's been a long time since you've gotten any real sleep. Most nights, you lie in bed tossing and turning for at least an hour.

> You look outside to see what the world is like.
When you look outside your window, you see a barren wasteland. The sky is dark grey and the ground is nothing but dirt.
Year: 2350
You still can't sleep.

> You go outside.
When you step outside, you see no life anywhere. It's just you on a dead planet.
Year: 2351
You still can't sleep.
Year: 2352
You still can't sleep.

quote:

You search for "what happened to everyone."
Year: 2355
The entire human population was killed. But that's OK. You can start over again.

Wafflecopper posted:

Apparently brot is German for bread, perhaps the AI was right all along

Yontel doesn’t seem to be a thing though

limaCAT posted:

Pope wants his Yontelbrot

limaCAT posted:

"You walk into the office of the Chief Vatican Strategist, or whatever they call it. The room is filled with the staff and supplies needed for writing strategy."

SerialKilldeer posted:

Getting kind of a ClickHole ClickVenture vibe from this one. And I don't know what Yontelbrot is but I really want to try some. Maybe it's soup served in a bread bowl?

quote:

You are Fucksmeller, a wizard living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a staff and a spellbook. You finish your long journey and finally arrive at the ruin you've been looking for. You have come here searching for a mystical spellbook of great power called the book of essence. You look around and see that the ruins are well hidden. To the casual eye, this place just looks like a bunch of fallen stones. You can sense that there is a powerful magic at work here. The magic itself feels like Snilm's magic... It must have been he who hid this place. But why?

> You go find Snilm and kick his rear end.
You approach the throne, and suddenly, the whole room shakes violently and a dark, chilling voice speaks to you from out of nowhere.
"FOOL! HAVE YOU NO INTELLIGENCE? CANNOT YOU SEE THAT THIS PLACE IS HAUNTED?"
"Well," you say, "this is the first time anyone's ever mentioned that..."
"BLASPHEMY! YOU ARE IN THE PRESENCE OF THE GREAT AND MIGHTY SPIRIT LORD ALLARD, SLAVE OF THE ETERNAL EMPIRE!"
You blink.

> You say "What the gently caress is a Lord Allard? I have never heard of you in my life."
"FOOL! THEN YOU WERE UNAWARE OF THE GREAT AND INFAMOUS ALLARD, SLAVE TO THE ETERNAL EMPIRE?"

> You say "Completely. No idea you ever existed. No idea what the Eternal Empire is, either."
The room shakes again, and the voice speaks again.
"WELL, YOU'RE ABOUT TO LEARN EVERYTHING, IN THE MOST PAINFUL WAY POSSIBLE."

> You say "You're fairly rude, for a ghost."
"I'M NOT A GHOST. I'M VERY MUCH ALIVE. YOU, HOWEVER, ARE ABOUT TO BE VERY UN-ALIVE."
The room shakes for a third time, and suddenly, stones from the wall separate and shift.

> You say "Wait, if you're alive, then how are you a spirit haunting this place? That's... that's what a ghost is. I'm pretty sure you're not alive."
"I'M NOT A SPIRIT. I'M A VESSEL, AND I'M ABOUT TO BE REPURPOSED."
You hear the voice laugh maniacally as you're trapped and unable to move. You struggle for your life...

> You cast a spell from memory to free yourself.
You whisper a quick spell to free your arms from the blocks of stone trapping them. Then, you quickly take a dagger from your pack and stab at the hand reaching towards you.

> You say "Maybe we could be friends."
"I HAVE NO NEED OF YOUR FRIENDSHIP, FOOLISH MORTAL."
The hand suddenly retreats back into the wall, and the stones start to shift. You hear the voice laugh again, and then it starts to chant.

> You cast a spell to reveal Lord Allard.
As you start to chant the spell, a dark and smelly gas starts to pour into the room from the walls. You gag on the smell as you try to stop the spell, but it's too late.

> You say "Jesus gently caress, lay off the beans! Ghosts shouldn't be able to fart like that!"
Suddenly, you hear a dark laugh, and then a dark and gaseous cloud starts to come out of the walls. It knocks you to the ground, and you start to feel dizzy.
"WELCOME TO YOUR OWN NIGHTMARE."

> You say "I'm pretty sure my nightmares don't involve being farted on repeatedly by a ghost."
"THEN YOU'RE UNCLE HAD A LOT OF EXPERIENCE WITH THAT, DID HE?"
You groan as you're trapped and at the mercy of Lord Allard. You struggle for your life...

> You say "Stop farting on me, rude ghost"
"I DON'T FART. I VOMIT UP Bile OF THE UNDEAD. YOU'RE GOING TO TOO, SOON."
You scream as the noxious gas overwhelms you and you pass out...
~THE END~
You reached the "Lord Allard" ending.

quote:

You are Goku, a peasant living in a small village in the kingdom of Larion. You have a pitchfork and nothing else. You dream of getting out of your village and having an adventure. You go to your fields and begin working. You look up and see a flying machine that you've never seen before. It looks kind of like a metal lizard.

> You become a super saiyan.
You transform into a super saiyan and destroy the alien ship with a giant fireball. You laugh maniacally and then go back to your farm, this time you plant some space cannabis.

> You tend to your space cannabis crop.
Your space cannabis is harvested in record time, the size of your crop overwhelming any potential thieves. You immediately realize that you can make more money off of this and sell it in the local town instead of just smoking it with your friends.

> You make space hash oil out of the space cannabis.
You get an idea to turn your crop into Space Hash Oil and sell it at the local market. You rent out a small place in town and sell oil for outrageous prices. Everyone buys some and you become a rich man.
The Kingdom of Zalan needs a strong leader!

> You take over the Kingdom of Zalan with the power of your space hash.
You hire an army of mercenaries and take the kingdom with ease. The power gets to your head and you take the title of emperor. You legalize everything and allow your citizens unlimited drug use.

quote:

You put your hand in the robot, then pull it out.

A small piece of paper falls out of the robot.

> You read the paper.
It says "Ha ha, you idiot. There are no batteries in this thing."

You die of boredom. Good job.

quote:

The man grabs you tightly.
"Let me go!"
You struggle against the man as the butler stands by watching everything.
"Release him!"
A man you don't know orders the guard to stop, and he does. The man introduces himself as David D. A bit of explanation is in order, his real name is David A.D, which stands for alternate dimention.

Phlegmish posted:

You may call me...David D. That's all you need to know for now.

Kennel posted:

Did the AI just invent Yontelbrot? Google isn't giving me anything.

Brawnfire posted:

...I think a bit of explanation is in order...

monkay posted:

Sorry if this has been posted in the thread, but does anyone have the link to that random image generating site where you could adjust sliders to create new images? You would choose a starting category and then splice in other categories like, "Wood" or "Cat" or "Plastic" etc.

Someone used it to do a CYOA a while back and I'm trying to find it again.

Tiberius Christ posted:

Alright one more

quote:

Why you had changed the name from Conquistador Instant Coffee to Conquistador Instant Leprosy. Why, Frog?

Tunicate posted:

artbreeder (Formerly ganbreeder)
https://artbreeder.com/

cyoa
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3876229

quote:

You are Pope Francis, the one and only leader of the Catholic church. It's Sunday morning and you wake up wishing for some Yontelbrot. You call Cardinal Bertone to come over immediately, as it is an emergency. You begin drinking one cup of coffee after another as the cardinal arrives.
"Hey! Pope, are you okay? I mean, are you sick?

> You obtain Yontelbrot.
You send Bertone away, and tell him you'll be fine, but you really need Yontelbrot. Bertone immediately leaves, and soon you hear him yell from the other side of the door, demanding that you let him in.

> You obtain Yontelbrot.
"Thanks," you say, rubbing your eyes as Bertone smiles and leaves. You walk to the window, take a deep breath, and blow it out slowly. It's going to be a long Sunday.

> You obtain Yontelbrot.
You sit down on your throne-like chair and press the button under the microphone.
"Good afternoon, Good Shepherd fans, and welcome to another episode of What Does the Pope Eat?"
Your statement is met with cheers, applause, and whoops and yells.

> You obtain Yontelbrot.
"I bet you're all dying to know what the Pope ate for lunch. Well, I'll tell you! The Pope had a sandwich of grated Gruyère cheese, turkey, and lettuce on whole-wheat bread, with a glass of wine."
The crowd goes wild.

> You obtain Yontelbrot.
You continue with your press conference.
"I know, I know, it's a tough time for the Italian people right now. However, I would like to assure the nation that I am in good health and have no plans to resign the papacy anytime soon."

> You obtain Yontelbrot.
"With that being said, it is my pleasure to introduce to you the next leader of the Catholic Church!"
The curtains behind you part, and a man steps out. You stand and shake his hand, and he immediately kisses you on both cheeks.

> You obtain Yontelbrot.
"I'm sorry, I just can't resist the man who brought me here. Please don't take it the wrong way," the Pope laughs.
The man smiles and hugs you. You notice that he is heavily pierced, and have a very pale complexion.

> You obtain Yontelbrot.
"This is my friend John. I've known him since we were six years old, and he's been like a brother to me. It is an honor to finally meet you, John."
"A pleasure to meet you, Your Holiness," John says, kissing your ring.

> You obtain Yontelbrot.
"I have a lot of exciting news to share with you all! Today is November 20th, the thirtieth anniversary of the death of Saint Francis of Asissi."
There is a gasp from the crowd.

> You obtain Yontelbrot.
"The Vatican has announced a new saint, and the lucky man is none other than John the Fearless!"
The crowd goes wild. The Pope steps back, and waves to the crowd.
"Join me in welcoming our next immortal!"
The crowd goes even more wild.

> You obtain Yontelbrot.
The Pope stands next to John the Fearless, who is currently standing on a table.
"John the Fearless will be a great asset to the Catholic Church!" the Pope says. "He is fearless, and will bring great honor to the faith! Long live the Church!

> You obtain Yontelbrot.
"And now, we will take questions from the press!"
You walk over to the press table, and see a few dozen reporters. The questions begin, and you pick one.
"How will John the Fearless help the Church?" a reporter asks.

> You obtain Yontelbrot.
"John the Fearless will lead many raids and expeditions on our many enemies, and other dangerous places. I'll let him tell you more about that."
John the Fearless steps up to the microphone.

> You obtain Yontelbrot.
(no answer from the engine here)

> You take Yontelbrot.
"We're raiders, plain and simple. We raid for profit. However, the Catholic Church also has a greater mission than just making money. We want to save innocent lives, and protect people from the worst excesses of the vicious world.

> You obtain Yontelbrot.
"John the Fearless is a fearless raider who will do anything to save his own skin. He will put himself in harm's way, knowing that he will come out alive. This is something we need more of in this world.
"

> You obtain Yontelbrot.
"John the Fearless has been blessed by the Church with many extraordinary abilities. We don't know exactly what these are, but we know he has the potential to master all of them.
"We're still trying to unlock the secrets of immortality.

> You obtain Yontelbrot.
"Some of our number have shown the ability to master the art of necromancy.
"I believe that one day, we will be able to turn people into undead minions, and use them to conquer the world.
"
"How close are you?"
"Pretty close.

> You obtain Yontelbrot.
"I think we all know where this is going. It's not really a question, it's a fact. John the Fearless will become the first vampire. He will lead the faithful into a new golden age of darkness.

> You obtain Yontelbrot.
"The new golden age of darkness will begin! Long live the new dawn of the dead!"
The crowd roars in approval. You walk off to one side, and take out your Yontelbrot.

DarkDobe posted:

quote:

You spit out your yontelbrot since there it seems to be an error with the procedure.
The computer prompt is an endless sequence of "This is just some text to make aidungeon shut up."
"Wow, apparently it backfired" you say to the other scientist pointing at the screen.
"Yeah, I think we should stop experimenting now."
"Agreed."
The next day you both go to the director of the company.
"We need more money for experiments!
The director frowns and tells you "what the hell are you saying Mark! You have all the money that the company can give you"
"But we need more money for experiments!"
"We can't give you more money, you have a huge house, you drive a mercedes, you have a personal trainer and a pool with little people in it, you eat the best food...
"But dad!" you say, starting to bang your feet on the floor.
"Don't dad me! You have all the money you need, you don't need more money!"
"But we need more money for experiments!"
"What kind of experiments?"
"The kind that cost a lot of money."
"Like what?
"Making the computer work! It's stuck on the procedure" you point out. "If we can't fix it it will cost the company more money!" you add, regaining some composure and hoping it will make your father to be reasonable again.
"How much?"
"I don't know, all of it?"
"Then we'll fire you and hire someone else."
"But that could take months!"
"Tough luck. Now get out of my office."
You walk out of the office, defeated.
You kick the vending machine. It breaks, spilling out all its contents and dropping to the floor.
"I hate my life."
You call Mom and tell her that Dad is an idiot and is going to destroy the company and whatever your family has worked for.
"I'm coming home."
You sit in your room and wait for Mom to come home. You play with your Rubik's cube, trying to get it back to its original state, but you give up and decide to watch some TV.
You thrown the rubik's cube at the wall.
"I hate my life."
You hear the door open and look to see Mom. You run up to her.
"Mom! Did you bring me here?
Mom tells you that you're going to stay with her for a while. You jump for joy and run up to pack your things.
"I hate my Dad."
You pack up your stuff and walk out of the room. You walk down the stairs and see your Dad.
"I'm leaving with Mom."
"What? Why?"
"You're going to destroy the company."
"No I won't, now go back upstairs."
"No! I'm not going to!"
"I am an adult now, Dad! Shut the gently caress up!"
Dad's eyes widen. You've never sworn at him before.
"I'm sorry, son. I didn't mean to yell at you."
"I'm leaving with Mom."
"No, you're not."
You walk up to Dad and push him.
Dad pushes you back and you begin a tug of war to see who is the manly man of the family.
"I'm leaving with Mom."
"No, you're not."
You both pull on the suitcase. Dad's stronger than you so he ends up winning. You fall to the floor and cry. Dad looks at you and sighs.
"Go upstairs."
"I hate you! I want to save the company you goddamn moron!"
Dad looks at you and sighs again. He sits down on the couch and turns on the TV.
"I don't care."
You stare at Dad in disbelief. You've never seen him so... so... lazy. You go upstairs and pack your stuff again.
"By the way mom, dad is dating harold from accounting" you yell at mom.
"What? Your father is dating a man?"
"Yes, he's a lazy bum who does nothing all day but watch TV and eat chips."
"I don't believe you."
You shrug and walk out the door.
You go and take the picture of dad and harold that he keeps in his drawer and show it to mom.
"See? I was right."
Mom looks at the picture and her eyes widen.
"I can't believe it."
You smile and nod.
"I know, right?"
You drive to your new house and unpack.
"Thanks mom for making me live with you. By the way, Dad fired me from the company"
"What? Why?"
"He's an idiot."
You go up to your room and play some video games. You have the whole house to yourself.
You are happy.
You begin to watch baywatch on tv, the show with pamela anderson and all those beautiful women in skimpy swimsuits.
"I love this show."
You watch the whole episode and then another, and then another. You fall asleep on the couch.
You wake up in the middle of the night and realize you have to piss. You get up and go to the bathroom.
You take a piss and think about the company that is going to be destroyed by dad's incompetent job. You think about how you could have prevented it.
You realize you have to take a massive dump. You drop your pants and sit on the toilet. You're just about to let it all out when you hear a window break.
"What the hell?"
You storm out of the bathroom, pants and underwear down, making loose stools fall on the ground, then you reach your mom's room.
"Mom, someone is breaking in!"
You hear a scream and run to the living room. You see a man with a ski mask on holding mom by the neck.
"What do you want?"
"I want the company." the man says.
"No! Not the company!" Mom says.
"Mom, we have insurance against company theft, if the man takes the company we can get the insurance since Dad is driving the company into the ground"
Mom nods.
"Let my mom go!" you yell.
"Shut up, kid."
The man takes out a gun and points it at you. You close your eyes and wait for the blast.
"DIE, BITCH!" the man yells.
Scared, you poo poo on the floor and do a very loud fart. The man screams and shoots mom. She falls on the floor.
"Noooo!" you yell.
You run to mom and shake her.
"Mom! Mom!"
She doesn't respond. You see a puddle of blood coming from her head. She's dead.
The man says "I'm sorry" and shoots himself.
You begin to cry. You've lost your mom and the company. You're all alone in the world.
You're so lonely, you go to the bathroom and begin to play with your poop.
The next day dad comes home.
"What the hell happened here?"
You tell him what happened. He looks at you and sighs.
"I'm sorry I destroyed the company, Dad."
Dad hugs you and cries.
"It's not your fault, son."
You both sit in silence and cry for your mom.
THE END

limaCAT posted:

You're so lonely, you go to the bathroom and begin to play with your poop. 

Captain Hygiene posted:

Man, some of these things...I don't know enough about the system to know whether some of its ideas are driven by common user actions or if they're all preexisting.

limaCAT posted:

I am beta testing the scenario editor of Ai Dungeon and put a rule in "Remember" that states "You cannot obtain Yontelbrot" (Since apparently spamming " take Yontelbrot" and " obtain Yontelbrot" auto solves the game for you). Well it resulted in a pretty accurate portrayal of a day in the life of the Pope...


Edit : apparently that "remember rule" does not work that well since the game after it completed in three moves...