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Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005

bone shaking.
soul baking.

exmachina posted:

Has anyone heard from cab off-site since chicken burgers? The worst thing about a unlike a country with rule of law we may never know if he is still alive a la Cato or whatever the name of the goon who was in a Syrian dungeon for a decade

You're thinking of Kevin Patrick "Caro" Dawes, a former goon and sufferer of some sort of personality or schizo type disorder. He first went to libya during their revolution and spent a lot of time with rebels and their doctor as a medical assistant from poo poo he learned off of youtube. After he decided he was going to do the same in Syria. He was stopped once at the Turkey/Syria border and deported back to the USA. His second attempt was successful, and was last seen in a prison camp in 2012 asking to die. Then John Kerry negotiated his release a few years later and he hopefully is recovering and properly medicated.

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Shumagorath
Jun 6, 2001
An all-time great page snipe.

peanut
Sep 9, 2007


osh plov good gimme please

GoutPatrol
Oct 17, 2009

*Stupid Babby*

About 8 years ago, I was eating lunch with a co-worker, and I was complaining about rice with my biandang. Just gimme more vegetables, I said. Rice is just empty calories and has no flavor.

He said rice is the great meditator of Asian cuisine. It adds balance to overly-seasoned dishes that are designed to be very salty or spicy. To eat these things without rice is to eat these things wrong - like a sandwich without bread. Rice is like water, and no matter what people say, water does have flavor.

It was pretty profound to me for a person I considered pretty dumb at the time so I'll always remember it.

Dont Touch ME
Apr 1, 2018

Empty calories is meaningless pseudo-science designed to deter americans who cannot stop shoving HFCS down their throats long enough to get some of the other macros/micros. Put some beef in the rice. Add some onions, broccoli and chilis. You'll be fine.

Moonshine Rhyme
Mar 26, 2010

Hate Hate Hate Hate Hate

Dont Touch ME posted:

Empty calories is meaningless pseudo-science designed to deter americans who cannot stop shoving HFCS down their throats long enough to get some of the other macros/micros. Put some beef in the rice. Add some onions, broccoli and chilis. You'll be fine.

How can you pull the undershirt up over your belly to let the negative chi flow out without a proper belly?
口渴的人梦见自己在喝酒

Edit: Google translate, I don't know any Chinese and I like when people post Chinese quotes/verbage in this thread, forgive me

ninjoatse.cx
Apr 9, 2005

Fun Shoe

GoutPatrol posted:

About 8 years ago, I was eating lunch with a co-worker, and I was complaining about rice with my biandang. Just gimme more vegetables, I said. Rice is just empty calories and has no flavor.

He said rice is the great mediator of Asian cuisine. It adds balance to overly-seasoned dishes that are designed to be very salty or spicy. To eat these things without rice is to eat these things wrong - like a sandwich without bread. Rice is like water, and no matter what people say, water does have flavor.

It was pretty profound to me for a person I considered pretty dumb at the time so I'll always remember it.

This is a great post. It makes reading the China thread always worth it.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


Yep. There's a whole class of Chinese dishes that are very salty/strong and designed to be eaten on rice. Also the typical way you eat is hold the rice bowl in your left hand, move food from the shared plate to the bowl, then eat it. So sauces drip down into your rice and add fun extra flavor.

hakimashou
Jul 15, 2002
Upset Trowel
One of the most memorable and unreplicatable things I ate in China was some really salty homemade sausage of some kind and some homemade cured vegetables over a bowl of plain rice it was so god drat good.

Warbadger
Jun 17, 2006

Dont Touch ME posted:

Empty calories is meaningless pseudo-science designed to deter americans who cannot stop shoving HFCS down their throats long enough to get some of the other macros/micros. Put some beef in the rice. Add some onions, broccoli and chilis. You'll be fine.

It's not so much "empty calories" as it is rice containing a lot of carbohydrates which are very easily metabolized into sugars. Which is part of how a place like Japan, Korea, or China with fewer obese people end up with a higher rate of diabetes than even the HFCS chugging Americans.

Warbadger fucked around with this message at 02:15 on Jul 31, 2020

Fur20
Nov 14, 2007

すご▞い!
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね!

goblin week posted:

the idea of there being a single proper and correct english spelling of a word in a language not using the latin alphabet is false. all transcriptions are valid

nangasac

Shumagorath
Jun 6, 2001

Grand Fromage posted:

Yep. There's a whole class of Chinese dishes that are very salty/strong and designed to be eaten on rice. Also the typical way you eat is hold the rice bowl in your left hand, move food from the shared plate to the bowl, then eat it. So sauces drip down into your rice and add fun extra flavor.
This method owns and influenced a lot of my cooking once I experienced it.

D-Pad
Jun 28, 2006

Grand Fromage posted:

Yep. There's a whole class of Chinese dishes that are very salty/strong and designed to be eaten on rice. Also the typical way you eat is hold the rice bowl in your left hand, move food from the shared plate to the bowl, then eat it. So sauces drip down into your rice and add fun extra flavor.

If you aren't ordering 8 different Sichuan dishes and mixing them all together with rice for a flavor orgy in your mouth while unbelievably stoned are you really even living?

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
unbelievably stoned and east asia dont really mix, better off doin it in california

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


bob dobbs is dead posted:

unbelievably stoned and east asia dont really mix, better off doin it in california

Weed is extremely available in Chengdu. It's illegal as all hell, but unlike many other parts of East Asia it's not hard to come by or expensive.

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
you feel like going to chinese jail tho

i once saw a homeless man sharing a doobie w a sf cop

Ailumao
Nov 4, 2004

Grand Fromage posted:

Weed is extremely available in Chengdu. It's illegal as all hell, but unlike many other parts of East Asia it's not hard to come by or expensive.

they were going to bars and randomly testing people (mostly foreigners) for a while in shanghai last year. it was urine tests originally but I heard they moved to follicle testing which is kinda lol.

of course now they have bigger fish to fry so I've not heard of this happening any time recently.

since this is now the rice thread heres some uighur lamb polov i made and it was v good and good use of rice and easy to make if a little time intensive.

Haramstufe Rot
Jun 24, 2016

UltraRed posted:

I don't understand the pilaf derail. You made fun of rice and said it can't stand alone. Then you post a recipe with rice that adds a bunch of other stuff to it.:confused:

yeah well rice needs water to cook or do you eat it like dry cereal?
The simplest pilav is literally water+butter and it's a trillion times better than ricecooker rice + any number of ingredients. Stop being wrong.

McGavin
Sep 18, 2012

Magna Kaser posted:

since this is now the rice thread heres some uighur lamb polov i made and it was v good and good use of rice and easy to make if a little time intensive.



You rinsed it after cooking, right?

Ailumao
Nov 4, 2004

McGavin posted:

You rinsed it after cooking, right?

gently caress! thats why it tasted like things instead of being bland

Haramstufe Rot
Jun 24, 2016

Rinse before otherwise it sticks together and doesn't taste as good and isn't fluffy. Gotta have the fluffiness.

kudos for going for correct rice in any case

Haramstufe Rot fucked around with this message at 03:59 on Jul 31, 2020

oohhboy
Jun 8, 2013

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
It depends on what you want. Nothing wrong with sticker rice nor loose rice like balsamic. Polov and it's ilk is meant to be sticky, that's the sauce.

:lol: Rinsing rice after. DO IT.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


Magna Kaser posted:

since this is now the rice thread heres some uighur lamb polov i made and it was v good and good use of rice and easy to make if a little time intensive.



Gonna need a recipe here son, I miss Uyghur food a lot. That place north of Sichuan U was so good.

Haramstufe Rot
Jun 24, 2016

oohhboy posted:

It depends on what you want. Nothing wrong with sticker rice nor loose rice like balsamic. Polov and it's ilk is meant to be sticky, that's the sauce.

:lol: Rinsing rice after. DO IT.

try this:

rinse, let sit in water, rinse again and literally rinse repeat (at least once tho)
add butter (quite a bit) to pan
add rice, sautee for a minute or so
add water and salt
bring to boil, then steam on low until water is gone like 15 mins or so
never, ever touch the rice during this
after water is gone, remove lid partly and wrap everything in kitchen towel, let it steam some more like 5 min, no touching
then touch the rice

it is now fluffly and slightly sticky at the same time - so not in the "oh no i didn't wash my rice now it's glue" way, which ain't fluffy and ain't pilav.



Edit: for the guy above, add veg, meat, beans, orzo (you can sautee them longer for some color) and broth instead of water etc. You can put IT on meat during cooking, which is also good. Just cook the rice correctly.

Haramstufe Rot fucked around with this message at 04:33 on Jul 31, 2020

Ailumao
Nov 4, 2004

i learned from urumqi chef landlord.

you need:

1. fatty mutton. fat is a must.
2. onions
3. garlic
4. cumin
5. carrots
6. raisins (this is more authentic but i dont like it)
7. rice
8. more spices and junk ill forget until they're needed

do things:

1. need to RINSE THE RICE
2. once you do this soak the rice for at least like half an hour before cooking.
3. chop up lamb into pieces. keep any bones/etc and trim off a good amount of fat. keep the fat and put it to the side
4. boil some water with some scallions and slices of ginger, throw in the lamb (NOT THE FAT) and any bones and blanch for like 5 minutes
5. take the lamb out and keep a bunch of the liquid. you will use this as the rice cooking water.
6. slice up onions + some garlic
7. start rendering the fat you saved in a pan, throw in the onions and garlic and fry the poo poo out of them over low-ish heat for a while.
8. once they cooked turn up the heat and add the lamb pieces just to sear the outside. you can skip or add the bones with the rice if you had any.
9. add a ton of cumin, pepper, some salt, maybe some soy sauce and whatever else you want at this point for seasoning. i think cumin is the only rule. i added a bay leaf last time. it was annoying to find when i was done.
10. once you mix it all up add in like 450~ ml or so of the lamb water we made earllier. let everything simmer for like 15 minutes or so.
11. add in the carrots and raisins if you want, and then the rice. you want the rice to sit atop all the other stuff in one layer. you also want about as much liquid so that its even with the top of the rice. you may need to add more, you can just add water if you dont have lamb water any more.
12. peel the outer papery layer off a bulb of garlic and place it on top of the rice. also poke a couple holes in the rice layer with chopsticks or something.
13. cover and simmer till the rice is done.
14. open it up, remove the garlic and mix it all up.
15. very important: **do NOT RINSE THE RICE**

the garlic will have become v soft in the cooking process and you can open up each clove and use it as a spread.

also after step 10 you can move to a rice cooker/pressure cooker/instant pot (if you have a sautee function on it you can do everything there!!!) and it will also work.

Barudak
May 7, 2007

A beautiful world with beautiful places to visit

Barudak fucked around with this message at 16:01 on Jun 28, 2021

Haramstufe Rot
Jun 24, 2016

Magna Kaser posted:

i learned from urumqi chef landlord.


very blessed post

to add: instead of mixing, you can also artfully try to flip the whole thing onto a huge dish, such that the meat sits on top the rice for serving

Haramstufe Rot fucked around with this message at 04:39 on Jul 31, 2020

D-Pad
Jun 28, 2006

Grand Fromage posted:

Weed is extremely available in Chengdu. It's illegal as all hell, but unlike many other parts of East Asia it's not hard to come by or expensive.

I scored some great hash in Guangzhou when I was there. It was the only time I tried the whole time I was traveling in China because yeah the risk is too much, but it wasn't all that hard.

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

re Rice just being empty calories, and also about Beijing Bikinis

My dad always tells me that in South India if you have what would be considered a "beer gut" in Western countries, is instead called a "rice belly"

strange feelings re Daisy
Aug 2, 2000

Chinese-American restaurants always serve a huge plate of meat drenched in oil or sauce with a tiny thimble of rice. I suppose some people regard that as a treat since the meat is more expensive and flavorful but I find it gross. I always have to ask for like triple the rice they actually bring me at first.

McGavin
Sep 18, 2012

They make their money on the rice. £8 for egg fried rice.

Tarantula
Nov 4, 2009

No go ahead stand in the fire, the healer will love the shit out of you.

Dont Touch ME posted:

What can you use a rice cooker for, other than cooking rice

I steam my dumplings with mine, put a sifter on top, dumplings on the sifter and cover it, works a treat.

Mantis42
Jul 26, 2010

I can never get my lovely rice cooker to make anything other than mush or chewy rice. I know that means the water levels are too high/too low but I measure that poo poo out and it still turns out bad.

McGavin
Sep 18, 2012

Dont Touch ME posted:

What can you use a rice cooker for, other than cooking rice

Tarantula
Nov 4, 2009

No go ahead stand in the fire, the healer will love the shit out of you.

Mantis42 posted:

I can never get my lovely rice cooker to make anything other than mush or chewy rice. I know that means the water levels are too high/too low but I measure that poo poo out and it still turns out bad.

What ratio rice/water do you normally use?

GoutPatrol
Oct 17, 2009

*Stupid Babby*

Mantis42 posted:

I can never get my lovely rice cooker to make anything other than mush or chewy rice. I know that means the water levels are too high/too low but I measure that poo poo out and it still turns out bad.

buy less lovely rice

Fur20
Nov 14, 2007

すご▞い!
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね!

same but a person instead of a cat

Mantis42
Jul 26, 2010

I always experimented with the ratio since it never quite came out right. It's like 1.5:1 water:rice normally, right? Something like that. I used that Jasmine rice they sell at Walmart.

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
weight or volume measure? peeps use volume measure but different rices are different densities so volume ratios are contingent upon a cultivar. maddeningly, differential starch compositions mean that weight ratios also contingent upon cultivar

also the ratio needs to be nonlinear because of surface area effects on water uptake and evaporation so you cant scale by simple multiplication, this is why peeps do the one knuckle in water whatever

worst case, do a grid search on the numerical ratio space of rice water ratios contingent on cultivar and weight and a specific amount of water, futzing w the amount of rice

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bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost
i found my pdf copy of "Rice: Chemistry and Technology, 3rd Ed":

quote:

Cooking of Rice for Sensory or Instrumental Testing

The sensory and instrumental methods for evaluating rice texture require rice that has been cooked in a reproducible and meaningful way. In fact, any method designed to study cooked rice can only be as good as the cooking method it is based on. Unfortunately there is no agreed-upon standard or official method for preparing cooked rice. Juliano and Perez (1983) showed that the hardness of cooked rice is dependent on its moisture content (shown as water-rice ratio in Figure 10). So any nonuniform adjustment of the water ratio adds a significant effect to a study. Yet one finds investigators using different water-rice ratios dependent on the amylose class of each sample, and varied cooking methods are also reported.

Fig. 10:


Juliano et al (1981a, 1982) and Juliano and Perez (1983) gave a lot of attention to this issue, which is discussed in detail by Juliano (1985). This author mentions that they adjusted the water-rice ratio for high-amylose rice to obtain an “acceptable soft texture (less than 10 kg of Instron hardness).” It was suggested that the water-rice ratio used for cooking should be 0.9–1.1 for waxy rice, 1.2–1.4 for low-amylose rice, 1.5–1.6 for intermediate-amylose rice, and 1.7–2.0 for high-amylose rice. The study of the effect of different water-rice ratios on the hardness values of cooked rice (Fig. 10) reported that the above-mentioned ratios gave ranges of hardness values among the samples almost identical to those that would have resulted had an identical ratio of 2.65 (final rice moisture, 75%) been chosen for all rices. Nonetheless, these water-rice ratios are arbitrarily defined, and if the results are similar, adjustment seems unnecessary. The ratios reported have not always been constant either. For example, Juliano and Perez (1983) reported that in their program they used ratios of 1.3, 1.7, 1.9, and 2.1 for the four types of rice mentioned above, respectively. And in a survey, Juliano (1982) found that the water ratios being used by different investigators ranged from 0.8 to 1.3 (waxy), 1.1 to 1.7 (low-amylose), and 1.5 to 2.5 (intermediate- and high-amylose rice). Since texture is dependent on cooked-rice moisture content, the reported results are not comparable. An imaginary example of the hazard of using arbitrary ratios can be shown by examining Figure 10. If one were to choose a water-rice ratio of approximately 1.6 for waxy rice, 2.1 for low-amylose rice, 2.3 for intermediate-amylose rice, and 2.7 for high-amylose rice, all the samples would give an identical Instron hardness reading, leading the investigator to proclaim that cooked-rice hardness is independent of amylose constant, something known to be untrue.

Based on the above discussion, the water-rice ratio used for studying cooked rice should be decided on using the following considerations. First, as has been discussed before, all rices, regardless of type or composition, absorb approximately 2.5 times their weight of water when cooked in excess boiling water until the central opaque core disappears. Based on this consideration, one logical approach would be to cook each sample with precisely 2.5 times its weight of water. Second, Okadome et al (1999a,b) have recently used a constant water-rice ratio of 1.6. While this ratio looks arbitrary, it has the merit of being the same for all samples. So the comparative position remains unchanged. Third, if consumer preference is under evaluation, then cooking with adjusted water-rice ratios may be necessary if it has been demonstrated that such is the actual practice in homes of different populations or ethnic groups. An example that would justify varying the ratio of water to rice is as follows. If one were studying the consumer preference for waxy-rice types in northern Thailand and parts of Cambodia, the samples under study would need to be cooked differently than in boiling water due to regional practices. In this region, rice is soaked in ambient water overnight (the equilibrium water content would be approximately 40%, including the adhering water), and then the soaked rice is steamed on a perforated basket or cloth mesh. Thus, the final water uptake would lie somewhere in the range of 0.5–1, and cooking waxy rice with such a ratio for its testing could be justified.

The actual procedure used for cooking rice is another variable on which there is little agreement. Cooking rice in a beaker, in an automatic cooker, and indirectly by steam have all been reported. If a precise water-rice ratio is used, then the cooking should preferably be indirectly by steam, so that the entire amount of water is actually absorbed by the rice. Even in an automatic cooker, some loss of steam occurs, thus altering the ratio. The uniformity of absorption of water by all the rice grains in a sample can be ensured in one of two ways. One is to cook the rice in a shallow layer (Bhattacharya et al, 1978; Deshpande and Bhattacharya, 1982). The other way is to cook rice in excess water for the cooking time of each sample when using a water-rice ratio of 2.5. The cooking time would need to be predetermined using the method of Desikachar and Subrahmanyan (1961) or Sowbhagya and Ali (1991). Some techniques require that rice be cooked in a deep container such as a beaker or a cooker, but with a given water-rice ratio. In such a case, a clear gradient of moisture content would form from the top (least) to the bottom (most) rice layer. An attempt is made to remove this error by discarding the top and the bottom layers and using only the middle layer for the test or by collecting the rice in a plastic bag and allowing it to equilibrate for some time.

i think the figure is most interesting

there's another interesting table from juliano et al 1983, the one the original figure 10 is from, here reproduced

bob dobbs is dead fucked around with this message at 09:59 on Jul 31, 2020

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