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Grape posted:The ring is scary because it can corrupt everyone and anyone, it's not a Boromir thing to be tempted by the ring. When I say the movies have him doing a bad Boromir impression, I mean he only tries to bring the ring to Minas Tirith because it is what Boromir would have done. In the books he also realizes that it is what Boromir would have done, and he does so without Sam yelling at him that the ring drove Boromir mad. He shows wisdom in understanding the ring can only destroy Minas Tirith. He also realizes that the fact that Boromir would have taken the ring to Minas Tirith is actually a reason not to do it. In the movies, despite Sam's blatant warning, he thinks taking the ring to Minas Tirith will somehow not end with everyone killing each other over it. So to recap: Book Faramir is wise and merciful, Movie Faramir is cruel and stupid.
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Aug 4, 2020 21:49
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sweet geek swag posted:Nothing in this post is true. The show is going to be about the second age Numenor and all that. The show's actually going to be LoTR Muppet Babies on Ice the Musical Live and it's going to STINK. WOW I can't believe they took it in this direction! Fonzy as Gandalf? RIDICULOUS!!
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Aug 4, 2020 22:59
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The movie doesn't have time to explain it but the sacred pool isn't as dumb as it seems. In the books it's just part of their territory and anyone who gets too close to their secret waterfall base has to die if they aren't trusted.
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Aug 4, 2020 23:07
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LOTR is cool but yeah the loving over there entire film industry for some American companies that went bankrupt anyway is still a sore point with the locals Would still be a tour guide in hobbiton though.
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Aug 5, 2020 02:45
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Derpies posted:LOTR is cool but yeah the loving over there entire film industry for some American companies that went bankrupt anyway is still a sore point with the locals interesting, can you explain this?
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Aug 5, 2020 02:55
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Twat McTwatterson posted:interesting, can you explain this? Well, not to put TOO fine a point on it, and I don't really want to walk all over what he might have to say about it all, but I THINK what he means is that were there a way for him to be gainfully employed to show people hobbiton and play dress up to earn a living then he would take that career opportunity.
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Aug 5, 2020 03:21
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Derpies posted:LOTR is cool but yeah the loving over there entire film industry for some American companies that went bankrupt anyway is still a sore point with the locals I'm pretty sure that happened because of the Hobbit movies, not LOTR.
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Aug 5, 2020 03:24
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Grape posted:I'm pretty sure that happened because of the Hobbit movies, not LOTR. Yeah: https://www.fodors.com/world/austra...ing-the-country
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Aug 5, 2020 03:34
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If it was the Hobbit my bad, I thought their was poo poo around the original trilogy as well in regards to getting labor laws. My wife's a kiwi and her friends when we visited were not big fans of the law changes. Would for sure work at hobbiton though because it's their. Such a great goony job.
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Aug 5, 2020 04:03
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just out of curiosity when you go to hobbiton do the hobbits have any, ah, interesting physical traits regarding their, oh, I dunno, their feet? And, haha, do you have to take your shoes off when you go in and then maybe they tease your feet for not being up to par and belittle you in front of other visitors, and then maybe they bathe your feet and dress them up and try to feed them to get them plumped up and ready for the hard work feet must do? Or anything like that? I mean I bet they have a gift shop and stuff right?
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Aug 5, 2020 04:13
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I just got back from watching the second movie at the theater on shrooms and im still high because i took too much lol It was really good still but not as good as the first one obviously. I only cried once instead of three times. It feels kinda heavy and weird to watch a movie about the horrors of industrialization and the destruction of nature in 2020, where we've destroyed the planet and ourselves in pursuit of petty bullshit. It's like alt-history because we live in the world where Sauron won. Classon Ave. Robot fucked around with this message at 05:02 on Aug 5, 2020 |
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Aug 5, 2020 04:29
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Twat McTwatterson posted:interesting, can you explain this? This lady did a really good video series on that: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTRUQ-RKfUs Part 3 (of 2) deals with all the labor laws loving: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qi7t_g5QObs There's even interviews, so, idk, this is probably the best summary you'll find, and not just on youtube. But it was definitely The Hobbit.
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Aug 5, 2020 07:09
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Why did they shoot it in 3D? I can think of one type of movie that would be better if its in 3d and that's a movie about people with big boobs riding on a rollercoaster. Hey you know what died even harder than 3D? 48 fps
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Aug 5, 2020 07:37
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Ah yes lets make this half a billion dollar movie look like a soap opera episode. More frames means more better right
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Aug 5, 2020 07:42
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Well it is a higher number so it has to be better
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Aug 5, 2020 08:40
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It's much better value for money. You get twice as much movie and an entire extra dimension for the same low price.
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Aug 5, 2020 08:41
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bloom posted:Ah yes lets make this half a billion dollar movie look like a soap opera episode. More frames means more better right i get that it probably is "better" but my brain is so wired that it just comes off looking weird and distracting and i really don't like it. same thing with a lot of higher frame TV shows on TV or w/e just end up looking really distractingly offputting and unnatural motion looking.
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Aug 5, 2020 10:38
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sweet geek swag posted:Nothing in this post is true. The show is going to be about the second age Numenor and all that. I hope legolass is in there, he's the main character, the big money maker !!
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Aug 5, 2020 12:46
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I hope they grimdark the hell out of Bombadil. Boots black as night. Violent.
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Aug 5, 2020 12:58
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I hope he carries a boombox on his shoulder and wears a leather jacket and raps to the kids about traffic safety. He's the BOMB, ba dil, yo! *a treant with can earphones pressed against one side of his trunk very slowly scratches a record*
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Aug 5, 2020 14:25
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Big Beef City posted:I hope he carries a boombox on his shoulder and wears a leather jacket and raps to the kids about traffic safety. Cast steve buscemi
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Aug 5, 2020 14:37
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I hope whatever new lord of the rings intellectual property will cast some black elves and dwarves to get nerds angry
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Aug 5, 2020 14:40
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Colonel Cancer posted:I hope whatever new lord of the rings intellectual property will cast some black elves and dwarves to get nerds angry drizzt do'lorien
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Aug 5, 2020 14:42
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Hopefully this time we will learn how come elves gently caress at all times, but only have one or two kids despite living forever. I suspect the answer is butt sex, but it would be nice to rule out some other possibilities, like the fish fertilization theory.
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Aug 5, 2020 14:53
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Mooey Cow posted:Hopefully this time we will learn how come elves gently caress at all times, but only have one or two kids despite living forever. Elf babies actually choose when to impregnate their own mothers from the spirit realm so the next time she bones down it's guaranteed conception of the chosen elf soul baby. Don't worry though it's all very healthy and natural.
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Aug 5, 2020 15:00
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mind the walrus posted:A Youtuber actually got a (deserved) Hugo Nomination for her work analyzing The Hobbit: Like the Plinkett Star Wars reviews, her videos about The Hobbit are the most entertaining thing about those terrible movies.
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Aug 5, 2020 15:02
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I just think it would be more interesting if the elf soul is sitting around in the spirit world drinking ghost tea with his buddies when suddenly he's like "WHOOOOAAAA" and gets sucked out of there and gets sprayed out of an elf dick.
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Aug 5, 2020 15:03
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Mooey Cow posted:Hopefully this time we will learn how come elves gently caress at all times, but only have one or two kids despite living forever. I don't think that you should be thinking about how elves have sex or even if they have sex at all. It makes me worry for you. I worry that you're becoming increasingly detached from the idea of having a beautiful and loving sexual encounter with another human. Elves don't exist but a person that loves you, that appreciates you and your body, does.
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Aug 5, 2020 15:09
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Funky See Funky Do posted:I don't think that you should be thinking about how elves have sex or even if they have sex at all. It makes me worry for you. I worry that you're becoming increasingly detached from the idea of having a beautiful and loving sexual encounter with another human. Elves don't exist but a person that loves you, that appreciates you and your body, does. Yeah you broke the suspension of my disbelief like 5 minutes ago dude. Just plunged right thru it
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Aug 5, 2020 20:28
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i can't reveal how elves have sex but let's just say the pointy ears aren't just for show
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Aug 5, 2020 20:30
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Funky See Funky Do posted:I don't think that you should be thinking about how elves have sex or even if they have sex at all. It makes me worry for you. I worry that you're becoming increasingly detached from the idea of having a beautiful and loving sexual encounter with another human. Elves don't exist but a person that loves you, that appreciates you and your body, does. Unless you're that person I'd sincerely hold off on that promise
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Aug 5, 2020 20:37
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Derpies posted:LOTR is cool but yeah the loving over there entire film industry for some American companies that went bankrupt anyway is still a sore point with the locals Bro do not move to the Wairarapa, most if it is hosed up inbreds. Big Beef City posted:Elf babies actually choose when to impregnate their own mothers from the spirit realm so the next time she bones down it's guaranteed conception of the chosen elf soul baby. Don't worry though it's all very healthy and natural. You've read the silmarilion multiple times, haven't you? Anyway, who has that Elise the great quote?
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Aug 5, 2020 23:29
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Honestly I think in regards to elves loving, maybe after being alive for like 20,000 years none of their dicks work anymore or they just got sick of boning. I mean the common marriage trope is "lol got married never got laid again" but now imagine if you lived forever and if you even dared bone another person your elf spouse could use a magical ring to turn you into and entwife in a field of horny ents or some poo poo. Might just be safer to not bone down.
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Aug 6, 2020 00:53
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Maybe male elves produce a limited number of sperms in their lifetimes
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Aug 6, 2020 00:57
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Colonel Cancer posted:Tolkien's approach to magic being mystical and poo poo is great compared to the abortion Vance came up with that's been plaguing the nerd genres ever since. Okay, I laughed real loud at this, I can't believe you haven't already caught your limit of nerds with this beauty.
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Aug 6, 2020 01:44
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Myron Baloney posted:Okay, I laughed real loud at this, I can't believe you haven't already caught your limit of nerds with this beauty. The term is grognard.
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Aug 6, 2020 01:56
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First things first: we actually do know what elves called their dicks, because even the glorious JRRT couldn't keep his hands out of his pants. The poetic term (yes, elves seem to have engaged in erotic poetry) would be gwî, but for everyday usage gwib was the preferred term. Puntl is provided as the coarse, moderately transgressive term, and likely what you would be invited to suck if you went down on a male elf. Alas, due to the ban on the Noldorin language, we have no surviving slang for Fëanor's johnson. Second, if we assume that JRRT's intention is the guiding light for inferred details of the history and function of Arda, we are left with several clues as to the genital features of elves. In early drafts of the Silmarillion and pre-LotR writings that would eventually give rise to the War of the Ring, JRRT called them "gnomes" rather than "elves," a detail that reflects his internal monologue about them and is consistent with his para-LotR writings about them, including mutilations, betrayals, incest, genocide, colonial violence, and misotheistic rebellion. His mental image during the construction of Ardan history was almost certainly closer to the Rankin-Bass imagery than the Peter Jackson interpretation. Thus we are left to interpret the idea of gnomes-- a Paracelsean ideology tied closely to alchemy-- and of their Germanic and Norse equivalents, nature and household spirits that include classic Germanic dweorgs (that is, dwarves) but with the added qualification of tallness as a common indicator of worthiness. I discern here between dwarf-figures of Greek and British mythology, which tend to be lusty, massively endowed pranksters, and gnomes/dweorgs, which are rarely cast in a sexual light. Some textual support could be interpreted for the influence of Pan on the elves, given that Silvan elves (and their Rivendell cousins) are singing, dancing, merry-making, traveler-harassing figures throughout the books. If we adhere to this interpretation, elves are probably packing huge veiny wangs that could put your loving eye out while you're trying to slip em the suck. I feel that it is, however, more likely that JRRT would have viewed his elves as more romantic and less sexual. Certainly they reproduce at an exceedingly slow rate and for an incredibly small window of their adult lives. A Panic elf would be extremely unlikely to live for two thousand or more years and sire no more than three or four offspring. For this reason, we are most likely dealing with the less overt sexual characteristics of a Paracelsean elf, which rules out giant Priapus-style horse cocks that are eternally bone-ready, but leaves us with less to go on than we might need, if we're gonna pour a giant silicone elf dick. Ah, but now we've alluded to reproductive evidence of elvish sexual activity, and down this road we find some very interesting possibilities. For one thing, the gnomes of Paracelsus were closely related to the concept of the homunculus, and tended to be sexless or at most secondary-masculine (think garden gnomes). We can assume, in combination with the romantic, Victorianistic leanings of JRRT, that male elves were not afflicted with unwanted boners, and found it fairly simple to reserve their sexual activity to intramarital intercourse. Additionally, in the extracurricular writing Laws and Customs of the Elves (LACE henceforth), we find some fascinating aspects of elvish sexuality laid bare. Elves are incapable, it seems, of adultery, which actually kills them. They are also heavily implied to be incapable of masturbation, and are explicitly hesitant to remarry after the death of a spouse, which carries over into the Silmarillion, when Fëanor's father seeks permission from the spirit of his mother (who has died in childbirth) to remarry. Clearly, something about their physiology and/or psychology is not compatible in any way with promiscuity, and the consequences of promiscuity can be literally fatal. The lethality of sex can, I feel, be best comprehended as an immune function similar to rH incompatibility between mother and fetus. It would, from an evolutionary standpoint, benefit a male elf (ellyn) to be certain that his offspring are actually his own, since their gestation and childhood are protracted and may consume a great deal of resources. This may have resulted in a gradual evolutionary arms race, in which an ellyn might conjugate not only his genetic material but also a dose of antibodies and/or chimeric B-cells, which are keyed to attack all sperm without his specific antigen set. In return, the female elf (or elleth) might perhaps develop her own antibody/B-cell dosage, but this begs the question of how to confer them to the male, since transmission of microbes from vagina to penis is much less reliable than the inverse. I am getting a horrible idea and I will refer back to this concept in a moment. So assuming that extramarital sex results in autoimmune-induced death similar to anaphylaxis in mechanism, we ask ourselves: what about the other compelling aspect of elvish sexuality, that of interbreeding with humans? Leaving out the question of DNA compatibility-- which is demonstrated in canon, and which we must accept as legitimate if we are to consider this topic at all-- we have a disturbing question to address. We have multiple incidents throughout the history of Beleriand and Middle-Earth of elven/human offspring, all of which occur between a Man and an elleth. Given that the two species are capable of creating not only hybrids but fertile hybrids (Elrond produced three offspring), it is foolish to imagine that in all of Ardan history there was never a potential ellyn-woman romance that resulted in offspring, unless there was something preventing reproduction between ellyn and woman that did not exist between man and elleth. The safest bet is not that all ellyn-woman romances remained chaste-- anyone who's met a teenager can tell you better than that-- but that ellyn-woman sexual activity is incapable of producing offspring. This is extremely unusual, as the most obvious reason for sex-discriminant infertility is more likely to favor female humans than male humans. Human ova contain mitochondria, while human sperm consume their mitochondrial power for motility and do not confer mitochondrial DNA to their offspring. Either something is happening on an immune/cellular level, which would seem to conflict with our immunological theory of lethal adultery, or something is happening on the mechanical level-- something which is, perhaps, related to the transference of female immune material to the male partner. Perhaps, to put it crudely, the ellyn just can't get it up. In humans, the penis consists of several structures of erectile tissue which cradle the urethra between them. This specialized tissue is capable of interrupting venous return, creating penile engorgement and thus erection by trapping blood within the corpus cavernosum. This tissue is notoriously indiscriminant about stimuli, making it easy for male humans to ejaculate without even the participation of another human. Elves, on the other hand, can't even masturbate, an activity so universal among species with external genitalia that it's almost unimaginable for a species capable of poetry to be incapable of wanking. And yet human males can couple with elven females. This implies some weird-rear end poo poo, so I suggest you pour yourself that drink right now. Male elves achieve erection by external constriction. To have sex, they need some biological equivalent of a cock ring. Whether their penises are "innies" or just flaccid except during intercourse, they are incapable of restricting venous return on their own... and yet the elven vulva must be compatible to some degree with penetration, or else man/elleth coupling wouldn't produce offspring. One may, if one is willing to consider extreme possibilities, entertain the idea that the elven vulva may exhibit some mechanical trait that assists the ellyn in achieving erection by constriction, by restricting venous return through strangulation. Something that would not put off human males universally, although it might make man/elleth couplings more rare and account for the relative scarcity of elf/human offspring. Something that would make it impossible for an ellyn to penetrate a woman, or to achieve orgasm and ejaculation with a human female. Something that would even allow the ellyn to contribute internal disposition of antibodies and B-cells reliably, potentially through urethral penetration of the penis. The elvish vulva, my friends, consists of outer labia, inner labia, a vaginal vestibule opening on a penetrable vaginal canal, and a set of tentacles. In elven intercourse, the vulval tentacles constrict and penetrate the flaccid penis, simultaneously permitting/inducing erection and depositing immune bodies deep in the genitourinary tract, most likely the bladder, where they can swim up the ureters to the renal anastomosis and infiltrate the bloodstream. The erect elvish penis is then able to deposit its genetic-- and immune-- material within the vagina. Human females, having no corollary to these tentacles, can arouse a male elf and even engage in non-PIV sexual activity, but can never obtain genetic material from male elves, and therefore no ellyn/woman pregnancies occur. For human females, this means you can have a hot elf boyfriend that can never get you pregnant, but he's likely to leave you eventually for somebody who can actually get him off. Male elves probably got the gently caress around in Middle-Earth, since they could chow down on human pussy for decades before settling down with a nice elleth who would get knocked up as soon as they exchanged fluids. For human males, this means that you're totally capable of landing a hot lady elf, as long as you don't mind her tentacles crawling up your dick every time you shark her in the rear end while she's asleep, and as long as you don't mind that she can totally cheat on you and in fact might have chosen to gently caress you specifically because she can screw around behind your back without breaking out in a fatal case of hives. Aragorn was one kinky-rear end fucker.
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Aug 6, 2020 03:04
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Its pretty hype and fun to watch
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Aug 6, 2020 04:31
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the green screen Gandalf pics made me sad
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Aug 6, 2020 05:08
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How awesome would LOTR be but transplanted into gritty 1970's NYC?
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Aug 6, 2020 06:05
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