xtal posted:

Sports are homophobic

Cocaine Bear posted:

Fair enough.

I'll say it again, if you nerds want to fit in more just learn analytics. You can sperg out over sports, get your math and excel and chart kick and learn enough player names along the way to be able to hold up casual conversation with your rear end in a top hat jock coworkers. Just look at this glorious advanced stats chart from Micah Blake McCurdy! :

Pope Hilarius II posted:

Simultaneously they are also very homo-erotic.

Like, whenever people question how weird it is that I am both a big Eurovision fan and a big fan of the FIFA/UEFA Championships, I tell them that both events are very similar to some extent: the outsized nationalism, the kitsch, the drama, the mass spectacle and yes, the homo-eroticism.

In terms of money wasting/peak performance however, F1 takes the cake. These are likely the most well-rounded athletes to exist even if their overall condition only accounts for like 1% of their success, all the rest is due to their teams and their cars, both of which are an absurd waste of money. It's also why I like F1 because if you're going to do something gaudy and wasteful, best to go balls to the wall with it.

fartknocker posted:

The man on the table is noted cheating quarterback Tom Brady open mouth kissing his son while he was getting a massage. There’s video. It’s also the son from his first marriage who gets knockoff jerseys, while the other kids from his current one get real merchandise. For more information, see the official thread.

jesus WEP posted:

Pretty loving dumb take when sports stars have been some of the most prominent lesbian and bi women of the 20th century

uber_stoat posted:

juustoleipä (aka bread cheese) rules. so good. i'm a big fan of cheese that you can grill or fry. can't find any fuckin halloumi around here, sucks.

rodbeard posted:

90% of sports fans don't watch women's sports unless they're jacking off. Like the U.S. women's soccer team won back to back world cups and people only know about it because the right got mad at Megan Rapinoe.

hawowanlawow posted:

central dogma posted:

Still on sports chat? I don't mind college and high school sports, but here's why I don't like professional sports, especially American football. It's a funny picture, even.
Edit: I can't loving stand commercials anywhere. Billboards, tv, movie theaters, so gently caress me if I'm gonna watch a football game on TV.

fartknocker posted:

The only way to watch regular season NFL games is the Red Zone channel. Their tag line is “7 hours of commercial free football” and you’ll see every touchdown and big play on a Sunday afternoon. It makes watching prime time and other games a slog by comparison.

fartknocker posted:

The only way to watch regular season NFL games is the Red Zone channel. Their tag line is “7 hours of commercial free football” and you’ll see every touchdown and big play on a Sunday afternoon. It makes watching prime time and other games a slog by comparison.

Zetsubou-san posted:

A tennis ball
approaches.
What do you do?
>

fartknocker posted:

The only way to watch regular season NFL games is the Red Zone channel. Their tag line is “7 hours of commercial free football” and you’ll see every touchdown and big play on a Sunday afternoon. It makes watching prime time and other games a slog by comparison.

Zetsubou-san posted:

A tennis ball
approaches.
What do you do?
>

BiggerBoat posted:

If only there were some way to accomplish this.

Sports are homophobic AND homoerotic.

Usually the more testosterone and violent driven the sport is, the more gay overtones it has. Football is almost self explanatory what with the hands up a guys rear end every play and boxing often resembles two guys slow dancing with each other but my favorite was always pro wrestling because holy poo poo.



Growing up in my mid to late teens, the biggest homophobes I knew would religiously watch these flamboyantly dressed, oiled up, swole muscle men crawling all over each other and getting into very sexually suggestive positions and give me poo poo for liking Prince.

And I like sports but I haven't missed them at all during the shutdowns. Funny sports photo:

fartknocker posted:

The only way to watch regular season NFL games is the Red Zone channel. Their tag line is “7 hours of commercial free football” and you’ll see every touchdown and big play on a Sunday afternoon. It makes watching prime time and other games a slog by comparison.

Cocaine Bear posted:

You neglected to mention all the theatre and pageantry that goes along with wrestling. It's gay as hell and it's great!

Solice Kirsk posted:

I hate the announcer for Red Zone, but it does rule.

central dogma posted:

Still on sports chat? I don't mind college and high school sports, but here's why I don't like professional sports, especially American football. It's a funny picture, even.
Edit: I can't loving stand commercials anywhere. Billboards, tv, movie theaters, so gently caress me if I'm gonna watch a football game on TV.

fartknocker posted:

Which one? They have different announcers depending on whether you get Red Zone through cable or satellite. The cable one, Scott Hanson, is awesome, while Andrew Siciliano does it for the satellite Sunday ticket package and while I’ve never heard him on Red Zone, he’s meh at everything else.

EDIT: Picture for the picture gods

central dogma posted:

Still on sports chat? I don't mind college and high school sports, but here's why I don't like professional sports, especially American football. It's a funny picture, even.
Edit: I can't loving stand commercials anywhere. Billboards, tv, movie theaters, so gently caress me if I'm gonna watch a football game on TV.

BiggerBoat posted:

boxing often resembles two guys slow dancing with each other

oldpainless posted:

Any activity that causes you to be in close contact with people is gay. Conversely any activity that allows distance is straight.

fartknocker posted:

The only way to watch regular season NFL games is the Red Zone channel. Their tag line is “7 hours of commercial free football” and you’ll see every touchdown and big play on a Sunday afternoon. It makes watching prime time and other games a slog by comparison.

Phy posted:

The straightest sport is motorcycle racing, where twenty-five short but extremely athletic European men dressed in colorful skintight leather spend half an hour humping a gas tank

Meatgrinder posted:

> gently caress tennis ball

Mister Speaker posted:

And this is the best camera angle in the whole sport:

Zetsubou-san posted:

A tennis ball
approaches.
What do you do?
>

Lobok posted:

The main drawback of watching sports as faster, edited versions or using PVR functions to record games and fast-forward through them, is having to do it either late at night or having to avoid spoilers about the outcome. Otherwise it's amazing. The first time we ever got a PVR box from our cable provider was just before one of the Olympics started and it was such a game-changer.

Woebin posted:

Stop worrying so much about spoilers, goddamn. "How did that happen?" is a way more interesting question than "how did it end?"

Flyball posted:

Start watching the recording while the event is still happening. Begin watching [however long] after the show starts, do your fast forwarding while you watch, and finish at about the same time as the event does.

LifeSunDeath posted:

this is why I watch UFC. when a fight starts it's all action for 15-25 min with minimal bullshit, and if the card is packed, fights start right after another and it's like 5 hour of fights back to back. I've tried watching football many times and it's excruciating.

LeafyOrb posted:

Sports fans are often the worst type of nerd but unlike with most nerd things society enables them, thus they lack the typical self loathing that keeps nerds in check.

Your weird obsessive hobby stops being that when society at large says okay to be weird and obsessive about it. Also as a burly dude I hate it when people assume I give two shits about sports, I workout because I like the D thank you very much.

Cartoon Man posted: