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Loxbourne
Apr 6, 2011

Tomorrow, doom!
But now, tea.
Okay I burst out laughing at this.

Is this the LP's idea of a beach episode?

Edit: Oh what a time to snipe. Update on the previous page, everyone.

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Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.

Loxbourne posted:

Okay I burst out laughing at this.

Is this the LP's idea of a beach episode?

Edit: Oh what a time to snipe. Update on the previous page, everyone.

The LP’s idea of a beach episode is coming soon.

StillFullyTerrible
Feb 16, 2020

you should have left Let's Play open for public view, Lowtax
Man. Poor, dumb Keten.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.


Internal Communications Report: IKS Qulmo'watlh

Beginning interview, ship's arbiter, IKS Qulmo'watlh. Interview subject: Captain T'Kara of Chuch'SuS. Captain T'Kara, do you understand the purpose of this interview?

The KDF has resurrected the Klingon concept of the arbiter, an outsider of acknowledged wisdom invited to a group of warriors to judge and mediate questions of honor and resolve disputes in a manner honorable to all parties. In this capacity you answer to the chief of security rather than the chief medical officer as the comparable position in Starfleet does.

Correct. Were you aware that I lived on Qo'noS for two local years approximately twenty years ago?

It's in your file. Your mother is a Federation diplomat.

Qo'noS is a beautiful planet. That's why I volunteered for this job. So before you put on the snarling grumpy Klingon act, understand that I respect the Klingon people.

That's easy to say. The truth remains to be seen.

Quite so. T'Kara, are you happy with yourself at present?

No.

Because you've been given command of a Risan cruiser?

I am no longer amused by the High Command's attempts to humiliate and demean me. I merely find it tedious.

You believe your recent assignments are a deliberate effort on the part of the KDF High Command to give you... dishonorable assignments?

I will fulfill any duty required of me. Be serious, lieutenant. What officer in the Empire would have volunteered to work with the Kobali, even after my protests?

That's strange. You did astonishingly well with the Kobali. Another cluster for your Allied Service Star, and a cluster for your Hand of the Empire, I hear. The Federation has even agreed to award you a Bronze Star on the recommendation of Captain Harry Kim.

Stop being facetious. The Kobali are abominations and I do not want that parasite on my ship.

Then why did you never request another assignment, for her or yourself? You never even lodged an official complaint.

Call me skeptical that any such request would be granted.

Fair enough. Did the ak'voh for B'Ellera of House Martok you participated in before leaving for the Delta Quadrant influence your feelings on the matter of the dead?

Hmmm. Perhaps. I hadn't thought about that. There was nothing left of B'Ellera after the Undine destroyed her ship, we watched over an empty cairn. I suppose, yes, I would have been enraged had the Kobali taken her body.

You loved her.

That's a strong word for someone I knew only for a few months. We were infatuated, yes, and we had a lot of good sex. We were different, very different in our backgrounds and how our lives had gone, but... I think it would have been love, in time.

Marrying into a Great House would have put your life on a very different course.

Not necessarily a better or worse course. That being said, I think any journey in life is easier if you have someone to share it with.

...Everyone you've been close to like that has left you, in battle or because you wanted different things out of life.

It sounds childish when you put it like that.

You're lonely, and want a companion in life. Someone you love, and who loves you. There's nothing childish about that. I think that concludes this interview, T'Kara. End session.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.


Beginning interview, ship's arbiter, IKS Qulmo'watlh. Interview subject: Commander Derius Telenth. Commander Telenth, do you understand the purpose of this interview?

I do.

Derius, are you happy with yourself at present?

I am.

Interesting. Morale has been generally low among this crew after the extended assignments with the Kobali.

As a Ferasan, I think I have a different perspective on the Kobali than most. My people make regular use of genetic engineering and augmentation.

To the extent that it lead to your people's exile from your original homeworld.

Yes. I sympathize with the Kobali, to an extent. Radical genetic engineering is a very dangerous business that often has unexpected consequences.

Your people’s choice to embrace genetic engineering is not common in the galaxy.

People are afraid and insecure. I do not approve of how the Kobali go about their reproduction in the execution, but I understand why they do it and the sense of persecution they feel.

I see. Commander, you’ve been married for sixteen local years and are a mother to four children, ages fourteen to six. How are you managing family life while on active duty with the Klingon Defense Force?

My husband deserves most of the credit. I visit home every chance I get, and I try to call them on subspace once a week, but the demands of military life are hard.

They always are. Other galactic powers do not forbid bringing family on ships, you know.

I’m aware. I think a Navy life is not for everyone. I wouldn’t ask that of my husband, he hates going into space at all. My oldest daughter is reaching an age where she’s contemplating what she wants out of life, and I do not want to press her into a military life if that’s not what she wants.

A curious sentiment from a species noted for their belligerence and militaristic culture.

I think the best fighting force is a force of people who want to be there. Forcing cultural norms onto people who would not submit to them voluntarily creates social and political fracture lines liable to fail under stress.

Or you don’t want your children in harm’s way.

Beliefs can serve multiple purposes idealistic and pragmatic.

Would you discourage your daughter from a military career if that’s what she desires?

Not at all. If that’s what she wants I’ll support her all the way. Lieutenant – Arbiter, as I understand it – may I be frank?

Of course, Derius.

I find the whole notion of castes and family trades abhorrent. No one should be compelled to walk a particular path in life simply because that’s what their parents did. I think social pressures like that create fracture lines.

Interesting. Thank you for your time, Derius, I believe that concludes this interview. End session.

Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.
:siren:

Participation alert! If you have a female aliengen or Romulan character with some Risian beachwear unlocked, please hit me up via PM or on Discord. I'm hoping to grab some screenshots for the next update and I need a Player Two to make that happen.

Also a quick reminder that in the next month or so we'll be needing a couple of goons with vaguely canonical characters to join in a space and ground Task Force Operation. Unlike Bug Hunt, we hopefully shouldn't emerge from this one with a failed mission and a stack of injuries.

Snorb
Nov 19, 2010

Coq au Nandos posted:


Also a quick reminder that in the next month or so we'll be needing a couple of goons with vaguely canonical characters to join in a space and ground Task Force Operation. Unlike Bug Hunt, we hopefully shouldn't emerge from this one with a failed mission and a stack of injuries.

I'm tempted to, but my current character's up at level 46, and my Luna keeps getting blown up in combat. (This might be more my fault, because she's a Trill science officer commanding a science vessel, and a Luna class isn't exactly made to handle the kind of abuse a Prometheus or a Sovereign was built to take. Plus I can barely remember what most of my abilities at this level do beyond "Tachyon Pulse drains shields and could really use an upgrade, T'Vrell" and "Look what happens when I press Ctrl-1 and fire photon torpedoes at another ship! I fire two! :D")

...at least I have a really pretty Luna-class science vessel?

TheGreatEvilKing
Mar 28, 2016





Coq au Nandos posted:

Also a quick reminder that in the next month or so we'll be needing a couple of goons with vaguely canonical characters to join in a space and ground Task Force Operation. Unlike Bug Hunt, we hopefully shouldn't emerge from this one with a failed mission and a stack of injuries.

I'm installing this for some dumb reason, we'll see if I can level my dude to help you out I guess?

Hunter Noventa
Apr 21, 2010

Coq au Nandos posted:

Also a quick reminder that in the next month or so we'll be needing a couple of goons with vaguely canonical characters to join in a space and ground Task Force Operation. Unlike Bug Hunt, we hopefully shouldn't emerge from this one with a failed mission and a stack of injuries.

I'll be ready to help out of course, but I'm already in the Discord.

Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.

Snorb posted:

I'm tempted to, but my current character's up at level 46, and my Luna keeps getting blown up in combat. (This might be more my fault, because she's a Trill science officer commanding a science vessel, and a Luna class isn't exactly made to handle the kind of abuse a Prometheus or a Sovereign was built to take. Plus I can barely remember what most of my abilities at this level do beyond "Tachyon Pulse drains shields and could really use an upgrade, T'Vrell" and "Look what happens when I press Ctrl-1 and fire photon torpedoes at another ship! I fire two! :D")

...at least I have a really pretty Luna-class science vessel?

TheGreatEvilKing posted:

I'm installing this for some dumb reason, we'll see if I can level my dude to help you out I guess?

Unless your play time is as erratic as my update schedule, I’m sure you’ll both be at the level cap by the time I light the beacons and call for aid.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.


Beginning interview, ship's arbiter, IKS Qulmo'watlh. Interview subject: Lieutenant Commander Halstak Chalan. Halstak, do you understand the purpose of this interview?

Yes.

Would you say you're happy with yourself right now?

Yes.

The position of chief medical officer has historically been rarely given much respect in the KDF. Do you feel appreciated by the crew?

Yes.

Do you have any theories as to why that might be, in contrast to history?

The Klingon Empire is in a state of flux. Aboard this and many other vessels, Klingons represent fifty percent or less of the crew. Different species present different cultural imperatives. Traditional Klingon social mores are in decline as a force in KDF shipboard culture.

Interesting. I'm curious, Halstak. You were once the first officer of a Syndicate privateer before your assimilation by the Collective. Your command officer certification is still technically valid and you are nominally fourth in the chain of command for the Qulmo'watlh. Do you have any desire to command your own ship in the future?

No.

Is this because of your assimilation?

Yes.

I found your blogs on the extranet, published under an alias. Many liberated Borg, such as Starfleet's Annika Hansen and Marybeth Grey, have written and blogged extensively about their experiences.

I'm aware.

Your view, that you were a morally better person as a drone than you were as a free-willed person, seems to be unique in the literature of liberated Borg. Do you believe you have a different perspective as a formerly assimilated Orion?

Only insofar as it informs my professional background. I was not the only pirate or slaver assimilated by the Collective. The Borg have assimilated Ferengi, Breen, Tzenkethi, and others. I am the only former drone of that pre-assimilation background who has been liberated to my imperfect knowledge.

You're also very unusual for refusing reconstructive surgery.

I am.

May I ask why you've refused surgery?

I bear the marks of my sin with good grace, lieutenant. I inflicted horrors upon others, and I feel it was only appropriate that I suffer horrors in turn.

Very few religions on Orion condemned slavery.

I do not believe in any religion. I believe there is nothing in this universe but the concrete things people build and do to one another. I believe that there being nothing in this universe but what we do, then we should do good things.

I agree. I believe that concludes this interview, Halstak. End session.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.


Beginning interview, ship's arbiter, IKS Qulmo'watlh. Interview subject: Commander Tila Otek. Tila, do you understand the purpose of this interview?

I do.

Would you prefer ‘Atara?’

‘Tila’ will do.

As you wish. Would you say you’re happy with yourself right now?

…No, not really.

Are your concerns related to recent professional history, or more personal in nature?

Personal, I guess.

Recent news from Cardassia Prime has been very positive. The True Way has lost most of its popular support in former Union territory, and many of its senior leaders seem to have disappeared.

...I believed in the True Way.

I know, Tila. You were – you are – afraid that Cardassia will lose its distinct character in the face of the Federation.

Yeah. I was born after the war. I saw the glass craters. I grew up feeling like ‘Cardassian’ was a dirty word. I… Cardassia has a long history. So much history and culture, built up over thousands of years. Then it only took about fifty to destroy it all.

All driven by resource shortages originally, as I understand it. Cardassians never developed the replicator.

Yeah. Growing up on Cardassia now, you’re taught to be ashamed of the Cardassian Union. So many of the colonies are occupied by the Federation and the Empire. The True Way… they let me be proud of who I was, where I was from. That meant a lot to me.

Understandably so. And now?

And now… the True Way was nothing but a pawn of the Dominion, and I’ve seen the fields of glass craters that tell you what the Dominion really thought of the Cardassians. I grew up not sure what to believe in. I found answers, but it turns out those were lies, too.

Has the KDF given you any answers?

No, not really. I get fighting the Federation, I was angry and the Empire was happy to use my anger. I get fighting the Borg, and the Breen, and the Vaadwuar. But… I don’t want to just keep fighting against something. I want to fight *for* something.

There’s a saying among my people. Opposing evil is not the same as doing good.

So what are you doing here? Opposing evil or doing good? You’re Starfleet.

I’m not, actually. Risan Naval Militia. I like to think I’m doing good, Tila. Traditional Risan values dictate that sharing joy and pleasure are the highest social virtues, and for a lot of people that means various joys of the flesh. That, however, is not me. I believe that the purest joy is personal fulfillment, and helping others reach that goal.

…I’ve never met a Risan before. You’re nothing like they say.

I had a conversation with your captain along these lines a few days ago. Don’t believe everything you read on the extranet. I think that’s a good stopping point for this interview, Tila. End session.

MadDogMike
Apr 9, 2008

Cute but fanged
Bwahahaha, when I first read the ship type I visualized T’kara sitting on the bridge wearing a lei and an utterly disgusted expression, but this is SO much better, especially since she met an officer who isn’t intimidated by her in the slightest and holds her own quite well. Too bad that neither of them would ever permit a relationship given their positions, because man Aoede nailed T’kara down pretty well in that interview. Though as far as Klingon High Command hating T’kara, I think hate would have been expressed by an open backhand to the face or something by now with Klingons. No, the real likely explanation is so much worse; someone is AMUSED at messing with T’kara. Maybe there’s some Q out there who latched onto her as a target? Picard and Janeway can’t be the only unfortunate souls out there to suffer that fate.

Geshtal
Nov 8, 2006

So that's the post you've decided to go with, is it?

MadDogMike posted:

Bwahahaha, when I first read the ship type I visualized T’kara sitting on the bridge wearing a lei and an utterly disgusted expression, but this is SO much better, especially since she met an officer who isn’t intimidated by her in the slightest and holds her own quite well. Too bad that neither of them would ever permit a relationship given their positions, because man Aoede nailed T’kara down pretty well in that interview. Though as far as Klingon High Command hating T’kara, I think hate would have been expressed by an open backhand to the face or something by now with Klingons. No, the real likely explanation is so much worse; someone is AMUSED at messing with T’kara. Maybe there’s some Q out there who latched onto her as a target? Picard and Janeway can’t be the only unfortunate souls out there to suffer that fate.

She embarrassed a couple of great houses and she did so publicly. Of course there are elements of Klingon leadership who want her to suffer as much they can arrange. You can't challenge her honor directly because she had acted honorably, but you can absolutely mess with her. And the Delta Quadrant was the perfect situation: dangerous enough that she might not make it back, but assisting Kobalis so there's little glory to be won in her peer's eyes even if she comes out on top. The fact that she keeps getting assigned to alien vessels on loan can be seen as another slap in the face; makes her look like she's not worthy enough to command a ship that's her's. Either as fact or all in T'kara's head, the events she's been through can absolutely been seen as a deliberate attempt to minimize her accomplishments as much as possible.

Loxbourne
Apr 6, 2011

Tomorrow, doom!
But now, tea.
Also if anyone openly fucks with her, presumably she will challenge them to an honour duel in ten seconds flat. Klingon society is okay with that.

Shades of that DS9 episode where a Klingon matriarch calls in Quark to examine their accounts, because someone is loving with them with financial manipulation - once it's proved, even by a stinking Ferengi, the High Council happily signs off on a duel and would have been okay with a small inter-house war if both parties could gather enough warriors.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

Geshtal posted:

She embarrassed a couple of great houses and she did so publicly. Of course there are elements of Klingon leadership who want her to suffer as much they can arrange. You can't challenge her honor directly because she had acted honorably, but you can absolutely mess with her. And the Delta Quadrant was the perfect situation: dangerous enough that she might not make it back, but assisting Kobalis so there's little glory to be won in her peer's eyes even if she comes out on top. The fact that she keeps getting assigned to alien vessels on loan can be seen as another slap in the face; makes her look like she's not worthy enough to command a ship that's her's. Either as fact or all in T'kara's head, the events she's been through can absolutely been seen as a deliberate attempt to minimize her accomplishments as much as possible.

Nah, you nailed my intention. The entrenched Klingon nobility and political structure she's pissed off are terrified of challenging her directly, not simply because there's a real chance she'd kill them but because even though she downplays it, T'Kara has a lot of friends in high places. Chancellor J'mpok himself invited her into the Order of the Bat'leth after her raid on Sol, the only reason she wasn't adopted by House Martok is because she turned them down, and she's a friend of Emperor Kahless after the Fek'lhri mess.

She's a brilliant Klingon officer who's a political pain in the rear end to the Klingon old guard and the feudal nobles of the Empire, and they can't directly do anything about her. So they keep sending her poo poo details that no one wants hoping she'll die or disgrace herself, and darn if they aren't disappointed when not only does she keep coming back she usually does so having elevated the Empire in the eyes of other powers.

As for Aoede and T'Kara, their professional circumstances may change in the future...

Fact of the matter is, this may have been T'Kara's last ship vote in the LP. I have a firm point in mind on where to end T'Kara's story as a major participant in the LP, not to say she isn't liable to make the occasional guest appearance after that.

Cythereal fucked around with this message at 18:12 on Aug 13, 2020

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.


Beginning interview, ship's arbiter, IKS Qulmo'watlh. Interview subject: Lieutenant Commander (provisional) Nelen Exil. Nelen, do you understand the purpose of this interview?

I am reminded uncomfortably of interviews with an inquisitor, but yes.

You have nothing to worry about, Nelen. Would you say you’re happy with yourself right now?

As an officer and an archaeologist, yes. As a Voth man, no.

You’re disappointed the Voth Sovereignty continues to refuse to discuss peaceful relations even after the Delta Alliance broke the back of the Vaadwuar.

I knew the Ministry of Elders would be stubborn, but this goes beyond my worst case expectations.

Hazards of a gerontocracy, perhaps. Has the less hierarchical structure of the KDF been a difficult adjustment for you?

I’m still making up my mind how exactly I feel about the Klingon Empire. While I am of course grateful for all that the captain has done for me, and for all that the Delta Alliance has done for the quadrant, I do not believe I have yet reached a conclusion about the longer-term implications.

That’s fair. Any preliminary observations you’d like to share?

I am not accustomed to how directionless service on this ship often is. When there is not a mission, the captain tells me to pursue whatever research or interests appeal to me. The Circle of Archaeology always has an assignment to be working towards, a long-term goal. ‘Do whatever you want with your life’ is an instruction that rests uneasily with me.

A common sentiment among Voth defectors. All of the major powers in our part of the galaxy, though, believe that you should be free to live the life you want.

There is a difference, I have come to realize, between reading about an alien society and living among them.

Too true.

Yet I also find it curious that Voth defectors have scattered to the winds. There have been no attempts to establish a new central authority or hierarchy, which I would not have expected.

You’ve all chosen to betray your nation, your society, and your culture, all for different and individual reasons. I don’t find it surprising that those different reasons would pull you all in different directions.

A valid observation. I believe it will be decades yet before the true ramifications of our diaspora start to become evident.

Have you given any thought to joining other Voth defectors instead of remaining on this ship?

Yes, but for the time being I enjoy my work here despite my frustrations with my own people and difficulties adjusting. The Voth are a long-lived people, arbiter, and that breeds a tendency towards patience.

Understandably. One other thing, your breathing has been erratic ever since you entered my office. Should I alert medical?

No. You smell very strange, that’s all.

Er, I smell?

Everything on this ship does. Voth have highly a developed olfactory system, and you clash badly with the prevailing scents on this ship.

…I’ll take that under advisement. I think that concludes this interview, end session.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.


Beginning interview, ship's arbiter, IKS Qulmo'watlh. Interview subject: Commander Petra Nilsdottir. Petra, do you understand the purpose of this interview?

I do.

Would you say you’re happy with yourself right now?

Even a few months ago I’d have been stunned to hear myself say this, but yes as a matter of fact I am.

Has serving on a Klingon ship been less of a culture shock than you expected?

Kind of. It’s… how do I put this… I accepted the exchange officer position expecting a fight.

You’ve had your share of brawls on this ship, and the Endurance.

There’s fights that are Klingons being Klingons, and then there’s fights. I’ve been in plenty of one, not so much of the other.

You almost sound disappointed.

I’m fifth generation Starfleet. My four grandparents represent four different species between them. I grew up knowing I would be a Starfleet officer and I never wanted anything else. I… I guess I wanted to know who could hate the Federation, because I couldn’t fathom it.

I gather you don’t have an answer to that.

No, I do. It’s just that… the objections a lot of people have to the Federation are reasonable, actually. I was expecting hatred of our love of freedom, or our commitment to peace.

You expected to find hatred that vindicated your own love of the Federation.

I suppose I did. I never thought of myself as self-righteous, but… I don’t agree with a lot of these people, mind. I still believe in the Federation and its ideals, and the hope and promise of Starfleet. But… I don’t hate the Klingons anymore. I don’t *like* Klingon society or culture, but I can’t hate them for hating the Federation anymore.

Forgive a counselor’s presumption, but I think it sounds like you don’t quite believe that.

I suppose I don’t. I think I should, but… I’ve lost friends in battle against the Empire. I don’t know if I can ever forgive the Klingons for that.

For what it’s worth, Petra, I think the Klingons would be disappointed if you did manage that feat.

I suppose they might. I still think anger is a vice, not a virtue. I guess I’m still struggling with the subtext to part of the Starfleet call to service: to seek out new life and new civilizations. Whoever spoke those words never mentioned what you should do if the new civilizations out there have values that contradict yours.

All the same, you reached out your hand to one of those civilizations and learned about them. Whatever your reasons for doing so, you’ve learned about the Klingons and I dare say from my interviews with the rest of the crew that many of them have learned a little more about the Federation from you.

Maybe. I doubt it’s going to change anything.

You’ve changed. People on this ship, and the last, have changed. Consider that, Petra, and I think that concludes this interview. End session.

Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.
Interlude – The Calm Before





Personal log, Stardate: I need another mojito

After months in the Delta Quadrant, we’re home.

I don’t know if I’ll ever understand what Tuvok and the crew of Voyager really felt during their seven years away from the Beta Quadrant, but I know I’m not alone in feeling a huge weight lift off my shoulders the moment the Verity left the Solenae sphere.



Of course, the feeling isn’t universal. I don’t think I’d need a weird, unknown psionic talent to be aware of the white-hot ball of rage that is Rinna Khev right now. The crew’s still shaken up from the death of 0718, too.



Looking back at our mission, I can’t help but feel like a failure. Yes, we did ultimately find the Iconian presence in the Delta Quadrant – but only after that presence nearly tore the entire region apart with an army of parasite-enhanced super soldiers. We even found and extracted a high-value Iconian prisoner – but it’s Sela, who have the Alliance (quite reasonably) doesn’t trust, and half just wants dead.

Tuvok may not express emotions, but he’s certainly sensitive to them. Which I guess explains our current mission.

--



: Grey, give me a channel to the whole ship. We have new orders.

: Probably to escort Her Royal Highness to a jail cell with more cushions. Or better ale. Or whatever Empresses drink.

: I think you’ll enjoy this one. All hands, this is the Captain. I’ve just spoken to Admiral Tuvok, who has asked me to relay to you his profound congratulations on completing a hard tour of duty. You’ve all done yourselves, and your uniform, proud.



: As you know, the Verity started life as a prototype starship, and we’ve been working her hard while we’ve been aboard. As such, our next mission is to conduct a low-stress drive trial, followed by a two-week shutdown for extended maintenance.

: Well hey, at least we get some downtime. Hey Timinn, want to go to Risa?

: Hah, that’ll be the day.

: …In recognition of our hard work, Admiral Tuvok has agreed that our shutdown period will coincide with shore leave for all hands. The Starfleet Corps of Engineers will be waiting to take the ship off our hands after we arrive…

: No.

: …At Risa.

: YES!

: Huh. Nice.

: Gor! Can we go swimming?

: Me too!

: Oh spirits. Um, Alaarem?

: Yeah?

: …Wouldyouliketomeetmyparents?

: I’d love to.

: Looks like we’ve got a red alert on the Commander’s face.

: One more word and I’ll weld you inside your quarters.



--



Welcome to Risa! This planet is a social zone, and you can theoretically visit it at any time of year to just relax, hang out on the beach, do some erotic text-based roleplay, whatever.

Star Trek Online does at least still pretend to be an MMO, which means Risa is also home to a summer event. During this period, players can do various mini-games (races, scavenger hunts, and dance contests) to earn a currency called Lohlunat Favours, which you can use to buy basic things like beachwear and costumes to more interesting things, including special kit modules based around Risa’s expertise in weather control.



You can also complete a daily event called Flying High. This uses the jetpack mechanic we used all the way back in the Sphere Sun Station episode and has you fly through three aerial courses. Do this 20 times during the event, and you can unlock a new ship like T’Kara’s Love Boat. [Note: Cryptic have actually changed things this year so you can do any activity on Risa once per day to earn the ship]

I like this event a lot more than the winter event, which is a lot more combat focused. It’s very chill and relaxing, even if the orientation of the planet means the summer event always happens in the middle of my winter. There’s no combat or combat abilities allowed on Risa. There’s actually a good reason for this, and as with most things it involves goons loving with people.



One of the events on Risa is a hoverboard race around the main island that makes up the bulk of the zone. Goons quickly worked out that an excellent way to gently caress with people would be to drop cover shields, which create impassable barriers, directly across the finish line, preventing anyone from actually finishing the race.

A few weeks after this emergent gameplay mechanic was discovered, Cryptic hotfixed the game to disallow all non-social abilities in the zone. Robbed of their abilities to affect the results of hoverboard races, our Dear Leaders in Starfleet Dental simply opted to host giveaways for billions of energy credits via zone chat instead.



Occasionally you'll encounter a Klingon having an argument with his Trill partner, as well. This is a reference to that one episode of DS9 where Worf took a break from being a joyless bastard on a space station and went with Dax to be a joyless bastard on Risa instead.



A special thanks to this random Gorn for jumping into my screenshot to show off his sick rig.

--



Debriefing Session 28
Location: Mol'Rihan Detention Center, Maximum Security


Subject was brought to the briefing room at 0830 hours. Per normal protocol, she was restrained and accompanied by two armed guards at all times.

Note: Lieutenant Seken was observed speaking to subject when they entered the interrogation room. Recommend he be reassigned and have no further contact with subject.

Interview lasted for approximately three hours. During most of that time, subject gave no response to questions. This has been her normal behavior over the past several weeks.

Silence. Always silence.

Today, however, subject attempted to bargain. Relevant portions of the interview are below:

quote:

INTERVIEWER: Today I want to talk about your time with the Iconians. At the time of your capture, you indicated that you had been a hostage of the Iconians.

SUBJECT: I was not captured. I escaped an Iconian prison. I needed your ship to leave.

INTERVIEWER: So you maintain you were a hostage?

SUBJECT: For the purpose of conversation, yes. Let's say I was.

INTERVIEWER: So you have never been an ally of the Iconians.

SUBJECT: I wouldn't go that far.

INTERVIEWER: So you are working with the Iconians?

SUBJECT: I didn't say that, either.

INTERVIEWER: So what are you saying?

SUBJECT: Whether I was captured or rescued by the Iconians is immaterial. You're asking the wrong questions. Always the wrong questions.

INTERVIEWER: So what should I be asking?

SUBJECT: You should be asking what I know about the Iconians now.

INTERVIEWER: And if I asked that, you would tell me?

SUBJECT: No … not with that attitude.

INTERVIEWER: You are a prisoner of the Romulan Republic, awaiting trial for war crimes. My attitude, as you deem it, is not your concern.

SUBJECT: Very well. I am a prisoner of war. I request treatment due someone of my status.

INTERVIEWER: What do you mean?

SUBJECT: I have had no access to legal counsel, as you well know. I am not allowed visitors or adequate recreation time. I am not even given reading material in my cell, and counting the ceiling tiles has become … tiresome.

INTERVIEWER: Cooperate, and I'm sure we can arrange any reasonable accommodations for your … status.

SUBJECT: There you go, changing the rules. If I am a prisoner of war, as you said, then the treaties your government abides by afford me certain rights. If I am not, then I am just your hostage. Does your democratic government keep many such hostages?

INTERVIEWER: The Romulan Republic is not under interrogation here!

SUBJECT: Neither am I.

At that point, subject asked for access to legal counsel. I refused. She then asked for a PADD so she could write messages to counsel. I refused. She is to have no contact with the outside world. She then suggested pen and paper. I refused. In her hands, a pen could be a weapon.

I have agreed to give her a selection of reading material on a PADD locked from read/write access. We should consider her other requests, as well as the inquiry from the Federation ambassador about her treatment, with an eye toward security.

She is dangerous. We cannot let her out.

Hunter Noventa
Apr 21, 2010

Ugh, Sela. That's all I'm going to say, because you'll all be saying it too, soon enough.

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

you couldn't actually make it impossible for people to finish the event using cover shields (the seams between two shields are jumpable), but you COULD put them in places like the end of a ramp to catch people who aren't attentive, and then throw snowballs at them while they're stopped

Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.
This is the first of two short text interludes based around Risa. I’m hoping to get an update for the next mission up over the weekend, and working on recording a few missions in advance going forward so I can get a regular update schedule going.

Interlude: Home

In the time he’d known her, Kiltru Alaarem had seen Timinn Zurole happy, sad, stressed, angry – you name it. The Bajoran scientist had known that Betazoids were an emotionally expressive people, and after years of mixing with reserved scientist-types, he welcomed it.

Still, he’d never seen her worried. This was new.

The worry had started when the Captain had announced the Verity would be detouring to Risa, and Timinn had started drumming her fingers rhythmically against the bridge console she used whenever she wasn’t required in the Engine Room. By the time the Verity slid into orbit around the blue world, the drumming had increased in pace and Timinn had started jiggling her right leg. Kiltru found himself vaguely irritated that the drumming never quite got into sync with the jiggling, and for a moment lost himself trying to calculate the precise level of stress she would need to attain in order to establish a proper rhythm.

The senior staff waited behind on the Verity, giving enlisted crew and junior officers the opportunity to beam down to the planet first. Some followed the example of their junior peers and changed clothes – K'atya in particular had managed to program her replicator to produce a particularly garish orange silk shirt, far too large for her diminutive frame, that featured a stylised portrait of a Federation officer Kiltru didn’t recognise. Timinn stayed in her uniform.

‘Listen’, she said to him after they’d beamed down. ‘I’m really glad you’re coming along, but I just want you to brace yourself. My family probably won’t be what you’re expecting.’

Kiltru, who had been anticipating some vague blend of the Betazoid and Risian openness, simply smiled, nodded and kissed her on the cheek.

Bazran Zurole turned out to be a short, barrel chested man, dressed in a blue coverall and bearing an impressive moustache, seemingly comprised of all the hair absent from his balding head. He hugged his daughter tightly, before gripping Kiltru’s hand in a handshake that felt to the Bajoran like the implacable grasp of a vice.

‘How’s Mom?’ Timinn asked her father quietly.

‘The same,’ he replied. ‘She’s been looking forward to seeing you.’

He ushered the couple into a room lit by candlelight, dominated by a bed flanked by what Kiltru recognised as medical scanners. In the bed lay a woman who looked for all the world like an older version of Timinn. Her eyes were closed, and her breathing was deep and regular.

‘Alaarem,’ said Timinn softly, ‘I’d like you to meet my mother, Venja.’

‘It’s a pleasure,’ said Kiltru. Not sure what else to do, he bowed, hoping the formal Bajoran greeting wouldn’t have a dramatically different context for Betazoids.

Like a lit flame, a glow of happiness rose inside him. Beside him, Timinn’s breath caught in her throat. Then, with a cry, she fell to her mother’s bedside and embraced the unconscious woman.

--

The three of them ate dinner together, making light conversation and (at least to Kiltru’s mind) deliberately skirting around the topic of Timinn’s mother. The two Zuroles exchanged stories that were at least half engineering jargon. Bazran, Timinn explained, was an engineer for Risa’s environmental control system – the complexity of which apparently dwarfed the relatively mundane task of maintaining the Verity, at least according to Bazran.

‘So,’ he said after they’d said their goodnights and ventured outdoors for a walk to the beach.

‘So?’ she replied, sounding guarded.

‘I’m sorry about your mother,’ he said, feeling immediately embarrassed at the inadequacy of the statement.

Timinn, of course, felt his embarrassment and awkwardness and smiled faintly, patting his arm.

‘Thanks,’ she said. ‘And... Thank you for coming. She was really happy to meet you.’

The glow of happiness he’d felt. That meant...

‘Zanthi fever?’ he asked.

‘Not quite. It’s a rarer variant – she fell unconscious about five years ago and just didn’t wake up again. But we know she’s in there, and aware. We can feel the emotions she’s projecting sometimes, like tonight. That was... Special.’

‘I’m glad to have been there,’ he said, and meant it.

They walked in silence for a while. Twice, Kiltru opened his mouth to ask what he thought might be an insensitive question, then closed it again.

‘She wanted me to,’ said Timinn eventually.

‘I’m sorry?’

‘You were wondering why I joined Starfleet, right? Why I left.’

‘You don’t have to explain yourself to me.’

She smiled sadly. ‘It’s alright. I was at the Academy when she got sick. Got away from here as soon as I could. Mom and Dad had a good life, but I kind of resent the way Risa treats its support staff. They keep this planet spinning, but you won’t see them in the promotional holos, right?’

Kiltru nodded.

‘So I came back when Mom got sick. The doctors weren’t really sure what was happening at first, just that she was unconscious and seemed unresponsive. I was talking to her anyway, telling her how I was going to come home and take care of her. And then I had this feeling, like frustration and sadness and love and grief and a bunch of other stuff all rolled into one. I’d never felt like that before. And then we knew.’

‘She could hear you.’

‘And she didn’t want me to sacrifice my life to look after her. So I went back to Starfleet, I guess with her blessing.’

‘There’s no way to communicate with her otherwise? Mind melds, neural links, anything like that?’

‘Part of the Zanthi Fever, or whatever this version of it is, really screwed up her brain chemistry. It could be dangerous for a Vulcan to try a meld, and there are so few cases that nobody’s been able to do brain mapping for an electronic approach. So we talk to her, and sometimes she’ll share her feelings with us. It’s enough. I know I’m luckier than some.’

She looked at him then, and Kiltru saw tears welling in her black eyes. Instinctively he held open his arms, and for a long while he held her while she cried.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.


Beginning interview, ship's arbiter, IKS Qulmo'watlh. Interview subject: Commander Tylos Cassandor. Tylos, do you understand the purpose of this interview?

It’s odd being interrogated by my subordinate.

This isn’t an interrogation.

I know, I was joking.

Tylos, would you say you’re happy with yourself right now?

I am quite pleased with the current state of affairs, yes.

You’ve fought a number of duels in the recreation centers on the Endurance and Qulmo’watlh ever since it became common knowledge that you’re former Tal Shiar.

Enjoyable bouts, by and large. Fortunately, even before Hobus I enjoyed studying and practicing martial arts from across the galaxy. Klingon mok’bara, the Andorian ushaan duel, human anbo-jyutsu, Vulcan suus mahna, and others.

That seems an odd choice of hobby for a Tal Shiar political officer.

Less so for a scion of an old Romulan family. I am a grandfather now, Aoede, and when I was a young man the Tal Shiar was still a respectable career for an intelligent sort of good breeding. My family had a history of service with the Imperial Army dating back to the founding of the Empire, and I was expected to know self-defense as soon as I was old enough to walk.

Not many Tal Shiar defected to the Romulan Republic.

One of the hazards of being a political officer attached to the Imperial Navy, I’m afraid. Over time, you are at increasing risk of identifying more with the ship and the Navy than with the Tal Shiar. After Hobus, I chose to remain with the ship rather than report to efforts to rebuild the Tal Shiar.

Purely out of loyalty to the Navy?

I seldom do anything for one reason alone. Another reason is that Hakeev was rapidly rising to prominence in the Tal Shiar’s leadership, and I did not trust him.

History has vindicated that particular assessment.

Though his use of Borg technology took me by surprise. No, Hakeev’s support of Sela as Empress is what provoked my distrust. She’s half-human, you see, and I felt at the time that a half-alien had no place as ruler of the Star Empire.

Have recent events changed your mind?

The Star Empire is no more. The ideals and values to which I dedicated much of my life no longer have a place in the galaxy.

Accepting an exchange posting with the Klingon Defense Force is an unusual choice in that light.

To the contrary, I feel my decision made perfect sense. My career has always been that of the watchman, seeing all but rarely involving myself directly. That role no longer seems applicable. How else to determine how best to now live if not sampling the alternatives?

You still haven’t answered my question about Sela.

No, I haven’t.

I think that is itself an answer, though. Well, I think that’s all we have time for today. End session.

TheGreatEvilKing
Mar 28, 2016





Are people still recruiting for more players to back them up for the LP? Just hit 55.

Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.

TheGreatEvilKing posted:

Are people still recruiting for more players to back them up for the LP? Just hit 55.

Absolutely yes, with the caveats that my scheduling is a bit inconsistent and you'll need to be available at AEST-friendly times (roughly now or two or three hours earlier) to record content.

TheGreatEvilKing
Mar 28, 2016





Coq au Nandos posted:

Absolutely yes, with the caveats that my scheduling is a bit inconsistent and you'll need to be available at AEST-friendly times (roughly now or two or three hours earlier) to record content.

I can make the time, hope you don't mind a Reman in a Khopesh!

Snorb
Nov 19, 2010
Regretfully, I'll have to bow out; AEST is fourteen hours ahead of me!

Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.
Interlude: A walk in the woods

With a reputation as a tropical paradise, the planet Risa is synonymous in the minds of Federation (and increasingly Klingon and Romulan) citizens with water, sand and (vanishingly small) bathing suits. Most visitors to the planet find a beachfront area and are content to remain there for their entire stay.

Rinna Khev was not such a visitor.



‘It’s not that I’m angry at you, Scott,’ Rinna was saying. A couple of paces behind her, Scott Malthis nodded, rolled his eyes at himself, then made a verbal ‘hm’ of agreement.

‘I’m not! It’s just… loving SELA, you know?’

‘Oh, believe me. I know.’

‘Only you don’t. No offense, but you’re human. You just don’t feel things like we do. Or like Vulcans do. And there’s just so much… stuff, mixed up with my capture, and that prick Hakeev, and Tovan rescuing me, and Sela just touches all of it.’

They’d been walking for a couple of hours, trekking deeper into one of Risa’s innumerable rainforests. After disembarking, the crew of the Verity had spent their first week on Risa in relative isolation. Malthis himself had taken a day to catch up on sleep, then most of a week splitting his time between lazily swimming in Risa’s impossibly blue water, sleeping on a beach and catching up on some reading.

The crew had come together for a massive lūʻau – at the suggestion of Marybeth Grey, who had heard the idea from a junior tactical officer. This had been a brilliant opportunity for the crew to let off steam and, in a more casual way, farewell 0718. K’atya had remarked that the Doctor would have turned up his nose at such an unhealthy spread of food.

‘You want to lash out,’ he said after a few seconds of silent walking. ‘but of course you can’t because you’d be proving every stereotype about Romulans and anger right. And you can’t push it down because that’s what Vulcans do and you’re not a Vulcan.’

She stopped and turned to face him, eyes wide.

‘How do you…?’

‘I promise I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop. You’re just a bit loud right now. I kind of can’t help but pick up bits and pieces.’

‘That mysterious psionic gift, I forgot. And the only one who was looking into what even caused this was…’

‘Yeah. 0718.’

‘poo poo,’ said Rinna.

‘I’m more worried about you, if I’m honest,’ replied Malthis, redirecting the conversation away with the subtlety of a brick. ‘If you can’t lash out and you can’t bottle it all up, what is there?’

Rinna grinned, then started walking again. Ahead, the trail seemed to be markedly steeper. Malthis drank some water from a bottle and followed.

‘Action,’ she replied.

‘Come again?’

‘I need to take action. Have you ever read D’Tan’s writings?’

‘Can’t say there’re at the top of my list after witnessing his approach to archaeology,’ Malthis replied, hopping over a fallen tree trunk.

She chuckled. ‘Well, he wrote a lot of stuff before Hobus, while he was working with Spock. The problem with the stereotypes about Romulans is that they’re at least partially true. We do have severe emotions, and they can affect the way we act.’

‘I have to say I haven’t really noticed that. I kind of, um, died before the Federation really made contact with your people, and the records had me expecting some pretty extreme behaviour.’

‘I’ll bet. So the theory D’Tan and Spock came up with was basically working out our emotions with action. Tell me, have you ever met a fat Romulan?’

Malthis frowned. ‘Huh. No, no I have not.’ The trail seemed to be vertical now, more a set of rough stone steps than the dirt track they’d started on.

‘I run 30 kilometres every morning before I take a step onto the bridge. Three days a week, I’m in a Klingon combat sim on the holodeck, beating the absolute poo poo out of whatever takes my fancy. Right now, it’s Kobali.’

‘That must be satisfying.’

‘I love it when you pick me for an away mission, because it’s a chance for directed, practical action. Hell, if Talleon wasn’t so hell bent on getting into fistfights I’d probably have trained up in CQC myself. Come to think of it, that’s probably his solution as well.’

‘I keep forgetting he’s half Vulcan.’

‘Anyway, action. I think that’s why New Romulus came about so quickly once we found the planet.’

‘So, what – your entire species bases its mental health on productivity and fitness?’

‘More or less. The idea is just to be doing something. You humans have some saying about still water being dead, right? For us, still water just dwells too much on its emotions and goes and does something crazy.’

Abruptly the climbing stopped, and the two officers clambered onto the summit of the mountain Malthis hadn’t realised they would be climbing today. The view was spectacular – beyond they dense forest they’d walked through was a long curved beach, then nothing but amethyst water and blue sky.



Risa being Risa, the mountaintop wasn’t just a blank expanse of rock and scrub. The peak was lush, covered in native grasses and flowers. Some kind soul had installed a set of benches, perfectly positioned for tired hikers to sit and watch the world go by. Malthis threw himself onto one with a relieved sigh.

‘God that’s beautiful,’ he said, between gulps of water.

‘Mm,’ she replied – disgustingly unruffled for somebody who had just climbed a mountain.

‘I take it that’s why we’re out here hiking, then? Action?’

Rinna smirked.

‘Well, that’s part of it. I don’t think you’d be able to keep up with me if I went running. But you remember what I said about just doing something?’

Malthis choked, swallowed, coughed once, recovered. ‘…Yes?’ he eventually replied, mentally kicking himself for the awkwardness of the response.

‘This is something that’s needed doing for some time,’ she said, and kissed him.

--

After Incident Debrief – Arbiter S'pen Kellek
Location: Mol'Rihan Detention Center




ARBITER KELLEK: I just want you to know I had nothing to do with this. She didn't tell me anything.

INTERVIEWER: Yes, we understand. We're just trying to get all the facts.

ARBITER KELLEK: You have to believe me. I didn't want to be her counsel. I didn't ask for this assignment. I didn't help her!

INTERVIEWER: You sound upset. Why?

ARBITER KELLEK: Because I'm probably going to end up in prison for something I didn't do!

INTERVIEWER: No one's on trial here. I'm simply getting your story. Now, in your own words, what happened?

ARBITER KELLEK: I was assigned as Sela's legal counsel three days ago. Like I said, I didn't ask for this assignment. In fact, I think she should rot for the rest of her days. All the things she did to our people, to my family … I'm from Cirini Prime. Her forces blockaded us for months before the Federation came.

INTERVIEWER: I understand your frustration. You said you were appointed as her legal counsel?

ARBITER KELLEK: Yes. She … she has the right to a defense, no matter what my personal feelings are. I believe that. So when I was asked to take her case, I agreed to do so.

INTERVIEWER: And then what happened?

ARBITER KELLEK: Not much. I met with her at the detention facility twice before the initial hearing. The first time I just explained the process to her. She didn't have any questions, but she did thank me for my efforts on her behalf.

INTERVIEWER: And how did that make you feel?

ARBITER KELLEK: Like I needed a sonic shower.

INTERVIEWER: And the second meeting?

ARBITER KELLEK: It was right before she was transported to the Hall of Justice for the initial hearing. I told her that the charges would be read and she would have the opportunity to enter a plea and see which justices had been selected for the panel, but that no testimony would be heard.

INTERVIEWER: Then what happened?

ARBITER KELLEK: She asked if she could bring the book she was reading with her to the court. I told her that it wouldn't be necessary, but she said that "democratic theater" was slow and uninteresting and she would need something to pass the time.

INTERVIEWER: And you agreed?

ARBITER KELLEK: What harm could her having a PADD do? I had three with me during our conversation. So I had a guard get it from her cell and give it to her.

The only thing clear to me at that point was that she wouldn't be taking an active role in her defense. Sela thought the verdict was a foregone conclusion.

INTERVIEWER: And what did you think?

ARBITER KELLEK: I think my client is guilty of unspeakable war crimes. I think the majority of the Republic would like five minutes alone with her in a room with no cameras and a Klingon pain stick. But it was still my job to ensure the process was fair.

INTERVIEWER: What happened next?

ARBITER KELLEK: I walked with her and her guards to the transporter pad. I told her that she would be transported directly to the Hall of Justice, and that I would follow after her. Then she … she smiled.

INTERVIEWER: Sela smiled at you?

ARBITER KELLEK: She smiled and said "that won't be necessary." Then she touched her PADD, and I heard her say "Gaius, I'm ready." Then she was just … gone.

INTERVIEWER: Gone?

ARBITER KELLEK: Transported! Gone! She never made it to the Hall of Justice. We never activated the transport! Someone else did it! She's gone!

INTERVIEWER: Calm down. No one is accusing you of helping her.

ARBITER KELLEK: But she's gone. And I've been in this room for more than six hours now. When do I get to go home?



Republic Intelligence Notes:

Sela was transported off planet at 0745 hours, just as Arbiter Kellek reports. When she arrived in the transporter room at the detention center, it was the first time she had been in an area without that was not covered by transport inhibitors and subspace blockers since her arrival on New Romulus.

It's obvious now she was waiting for that opportunity, and that she had allies both in orbit and at the detention center. One of Sela's guards, a Lieutenant Seken, is currently missing, and the PADD she was using had been altered to allow subspace transmissions. We are investigating Seken's ties to imperial loyalists, and have determined that he has a nephew who serves on a Romulan Star Navy vessel.

We do not know Sela's location at this time; although we think she is still in Romulan space. A shuttle is missing from the R.R.W. Lleiset, and we believe it was used in Sela's escape. Commander Jarok is cooperating with the investigation.

We've locked down the detention center and all media transmissions off planet. D'Tan is currently meeting with representatives of the Federation and the Klingon Empire, and he will address the Senate in closed session in an hour. We've announced that Sela's hearing will be delayed, but under no circumstances can we let the news become public knowledge.

We have no idea how many people in our Republic are loyal to that monster. If we can't recapture her, it could mean war.

Coq au Nandos fucked around with this message at 00:17 on Aug 25, 2020

sweet geek swag
Mar 29, 2006

Adjust lasers to FUN!





Rinna said Romans instead if Romulans once. Made Scott look like he came from a lot further in the past.

Snorb
Nov 19, 2010
You never know, he could have come from the Roman planet from the episode "Bread and Circuses!"

Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.

sweet geek swag posted:

Rinna said Romans instead if Romulans once. Made Scott look like he came from a lot further in the past.

God, so she did. Thanks for the catch!

Also a big shoutout to forums poster Hegel, who has been hitting me up in Discord on the topic of Romulans in general and making me think a lot about how they're depicted in the game. By and large it's very different to established canon - certainly the Romulans from the Republic read to me as basically space cowboys. This is a big departure from show Romulans who are depicted as having very difficult to understand codes of honour that force them to do weird stuff, are big on keeping secrets, etc etc.

In my head at least, the change is down to how different groups of Romulans were affected by the Hobus catastrophe.

Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.
A quick update: As much as I've been trying, I'm finding it harder and harder to keep this LP moving. I've had fun but do feel a bit burned out, so at least for now I'm going to be stepping back.

I've had a chat with Cythereal and he's very kindly agreed to pick up where I've left off, which as a bonus is a pretty good transition point. Which means your protagonist going forward will be everyone's favourite Klingon, Qo'noS' Sweetheart, Order of the Bat'leth member and Captain of a Risian Love Boat, T'Kara.

All things being equal, Scott Malthis will return, after an extended break on Risa.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.
Which means, sadly, that I will not actually be keeping the Risan cruise liner for long in the LP. It was funny when I wasn't expecting T'Kara to be doing much for the rest of the LP, but that is no longer the case.

I also can't promise a particularly consistent update schedule thanks to being subbed to FF14 right now, but I will do what I can.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.
Into the Void, Part One



Shakedown exercise complete. Thoughts?
I like this ship. Not as good as the Kurak class, but I think it's a fine cruiser.
I concur. Considering it's a converted space liner, the Suraya class is acceptable.
I'm not thrilled down here, though. I've gotten used to how easy maintenance on Klingon ships is with everything out in the open.
Oh look, Klingons think my people can build a good warship! Joy of joys.
Hold on, incoming hail over Khitomer Alliance channels.




Who are you, why are you assuming I'll help, and why are you contacting the KDF instead of a Starfleet ship?
My first choice would have been Captain Malthis, but he's on shore leave. When I asked Command for a captain good at adapting to unconventional missions, you were next on the list.
And given that nothing good can come from meddling with Hobus... Very well, Starfleet. Commander Telenth, remind me to piss off some Starfleet admirals the next time I'm at a diplomatic function.
Can do!
I don't think 'Hobus' was in my exchange officer briefing. What's that?
A mistake.




Solar sails that function in warp bubbles to enhance the ship's speed. I can never decide if you mammals are geniuses or completely insane.
A distinction without a difference.
Actually, the sails help with the ship's overall energy efficiency, freeing up additional main power for the drive.
That is oddly specific technical knowledge for a ship's inquisitor to possess.
I volunteered for an exchange program with Klingons. There was a week long training program on answering all the dumb questions and wrong assumptions you people would have.




Federation runabout on sensors, under attack by a Romulan warbird and an armed freighter.
IFF on the warbird is Imperial Navy.
This must be our Starfleet commander. Kill the warbird, but disable the freighter. A Romulan Q-ship in Hobus is more than passing strange, and I want to know what's going on.






IKS Qulmo'watlh to USS Tereshkova. Area secure.
Klingons manning a Risan luxury liner?!
This is going to get old fast.




I don't know yet. Based on these ships' identification codes, these aren't Tal Shiar vessels, just elements of the old Imperial Navy. They're no friends of the Tal Shiar, but also not allies of the Republic. Last true sons of the Empire or something along those lines.
Hobus is a restricted area. What is a lone Federation runabout doing here?
I was my way home from Tau Dewa to Trill when I got caught by a class-3 ionic storm. This system was safe from the storm, but not the Romulans.
You can dock on our ship. We'll return you to Federation space once we check over this freighter.



Commander Nilsdottir, would a class-3 ionic storm actually pose a threat to a Starfleet runabout?
That's an old Danube class, so yeah. But... why divert to Hobus? If she was on the normal transit routes she would have had much safer places to shelter than Hobus.
I've pulled VanZyl's records. She's an attache to Admiral Tuvok. Why would she be making a voyage like this alone? Derius, what's your telepathy telling you?
Nothing. She's very consciously blocking me. Is she Joined?
No.
Then she's received extensive training from someone in blocking telepathic incursions. Something doesn't feel right about this, Captain.
I agree. Nelen?

Their primary engine assembly is damaged, sir, and I'm reading multiple Romulan lifesigns.
Sir, they're hailing.


This unit was defending itself against outside attack. Defense of associates is required by priority override.
Captain. I was in contact with Lieutenant Selen in the Delta Quadrant. Current behavior: highly aberrant. Probability of external control of Selen approaches unity.
I am not detecting any other Borg technology or partially assimilated individuals on their ship, Captain.
Sir, there's a facility down there on the planet fragment that still has power and life support.
Hmmm. Derius, Halstak, Nelen, Tylos - transporter room. We'll check out that facility. Tila, maintain a tractor beam on the freighter. If they try to escape, kill it.
Lieutenant Selen is a decorated officer, Captain. The Republic would not appreciate us killing him.
Right now he's already dead. Commander Otek, you have your orders. Oh, and tell that Starfleeter to join us. I want my enemies in front of me.
Yes, sir!





Pre-fab construction, Romulan specialist hardware. I pulled the Republic's logs about this facility before we beamed down here, and there should have been a Reman garrison here.
This was a Republic facility?
Not originally, but the Republic assumed control after Subcommander Sekah captured it from the Star Empire in a joint operation with Starfleet.
What was the Empire doing here?
We're still not sure exactly, but this facility answered to Praetor Taris, whom we believe to be an Iconian catspaw. There is reason to believe Taris was involved with the Hobus Supernova, but there wasn't enough evidence to conclusively put her on trial. The Federation took her into custody.
Where is Taris now?
She's supposed to still be in prison.
I do not like your conditional term.
We're dealing with servants of the Iconians. I'm not taking anything for granted.




Speaking of which, this is a power monitor. There's an Iconian gateway here, currently inactive. Move out.



Imperial Marines!
What in the world is that thing you're shooting?!
Ionized channel electrolaser on a wrist mounting, a going-away gift from the Delta Quadrant. Someone thought to mollify me by giving me an experimental weapon to try out.




Did it work?
No, but I appreciate the thought. The weapon itself, however, works wonderfully. Get the angle just right and the beam can jump from one target to another.




ID confirmed. One of Obisek's men, Uhlan Kalkon. Part of the security detachment left behind here in preparation for a full research post once resources permitted.
Death was caused by directed plasma weapon consistent with Imperial Marine standard issue arms.
That statue doesn't belong here. Based on a sample of the rock, that statue was mined and carved on Dewa III according to allied databases. Iconian, as you probably guessed.
The Iconians have agents inside the Republic.
Not surprising, I suppose. It's a miracle the Republic didn't kill us all when they activated the Solanae Dyson Sphere gateway.
They didn't kill us all immediately.
Correction accepted.
I'm looking at Subcommander Sekah's reports now. She never beamed down to this facility to investigate, and neither did Starfleet's Lieutenant Commander Nyroh. They were right over an Iconian gateway and never bothered to investigate. Thank you, Starfleet, and your legendary thoroughness and attention to detail. Move out.






There's our target.
An operational Iconian gateway. I'm not sure if I'm excited to get the chance to study it or terrified of the implications of it being here as a military objective.
Heh. You remind me of an old friend, Nelen.





I surrender.
Dispensing with the usual Imperial Marine rigmarole. That's a welcome relief. You are now in the custody of the Klingon Defense Force.
...You have no idea who I am, do you?
No.
You may call me Empress Sela.


To be continued...

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.
Into the Void, Part Two



(Note: I'm adjusting this whole conversation pretty significantly due to T'Kara not being around for a lot of key events)

I surrender.
Dispensing with the usual Imperial Marine rigmarole. That's a welcome relief. You are now in the custody of the Klingon Defense Force.
...You have no idea who I am, do you?
No.
You may call me Empress Sela.
I wasn't aware there was a Star Empire left in need of a ruler, but fine. Empress Sela it is.
How droll. I do have information about the Iconians and their gateways, and how to use them. Surely that is more important than Klingon gloating.
That depends on whether you know anything specific. Surely that is more important than Romulan evasiveness.
A fair deal. This gateway is damaged beyond repair, but I do know how to operate them. And I know several sets of coordinates that no intelligence service in the galaxy has. In fact, the only reason I was here was to open a gateway to a specific Iconian base.
Suit yourself. The empress of a galactic rump state is no concern of mine. IKS Qulmo'watlh, six to beam up.
Wait. Do you really think there are only two Dyson Spheres? There are more, and I know the location of one that the Iconians are still using. Wouldn't you like to see that?
Not particularly. Your deal is rejected.
The Republic wouldn't like you not making an effort to save their pet Borg. Suppose I no longer have need of his services, in exchange for yours.
Captain-
A more acceptable bargain. I assume you will insist on the pleasure of my company on your ship.
It's the only way to get what you want.
What I want is beyond your ability to give. Let's continue with this farce.




All hail the Imperial Navy, shield of the Empire.
Ouch. You can feel morale dropping on the bridge crew.
We're here, 'Empress.' What do you want?
I know you're not inclined to believe me, but I'm telling the truth. I do have coordinates to a sphere the Iconians are still using. aa
Oh, I believe you. I'm simply not seeing any reason I should care.
What kind of Klingon backs down from a fight?
The weirdest one you've ever met. Or so people keep telling me.
Then think like a warrior. The Iconians are moving ships and soldiers into position as we speak. One day soon, they'll be on our doorstep.


Coq au Nandos posted:

: Pretend for a moment that you’re an Iconian, manipulating events in our corner of the galaxy. You orchestrate the Hobus supernova, subvert the Tal Shiar, and nudge the Undine further towards aggressive xenophobia.



: OK. I am imagining doing that.

: Ah, but are you? Put yourself, if you can, into the mindset of an Iconian, Captain Malthis. Your empire dominated the galaxy. Your gateways mean you can be anywhere, at any time. Your technology is advanced to the point of being able to construct multiple Dyson spheres in at least two galaxies.

: ...So why am I holding back?



: Exactly. Hypothesis?

: Some version of our Prime Directive?

: Preventing direct manipulation in our affairs? Perhaps, but unlikely. I believe the term you would use is Ockham’s Razor - the simplest answer is often the correct one.

: ...They’re toying with us.

: Like scientists, watching the struggles of bacteria under a microscope. And that’s why I wanted to speak to you, Scott Malthis. If you were such a scientist, what would be your reaction if the bacteria began to unite against you?

: I’d sterilise the experiment.

: Exactly. I truly, genuinely, wish you and your Admiral Tuvok well in this endeavour. Our war was based on the arrogance and inaction of the Federation in the face of Undine invasion, and it seems that time is now behind us. But I fear what might happen if you are successful in your campaign of peace.

This is our only chance to find out what they're doing and when they'll attack. Mark my words, captain. The attack is imminent.
You have finally said something interesting. Word of advice? Lead with 'I can get us a covert look at the enemy about to unleash the armies of the apocalypse on our galaxy before they're ready to strike' next time.
I'll bear that in mind. In the meantime, your attack inflicted significant damage to my ship's engine room and killed most of my engineers. Could you prevail on your ship to send a repair team over?
I'm not risking any more of my people than I have to. Fortunately for you, I'm an engineer myself. I'll see what I can do.
You are? You aren't who I was expecting.
Let me guess: Commodore Malthis?
Or Admiral Sekah. Perhaps Captain Nyroh. Judging by the eyepatch and small cranial ridge, you must be Captain T'Kara. How interesting.
Life is funny that way. I'll signal you when I've resolved the problems in your engine room.




Your captain is an astonishingly talented liar, Subcommander. You'd almost think she doesn't understand who I am.
You are everything that was wrong with the Star Empire.
How so? You're Tal Shiar, it's easy to tell by the way you look at people.
You're assuming malice and conspiracy when there's a simpler explanation that's less satisfying to your ego. The Star Empire died because our leaders, you included, assumed everyone was as selfish and egocentric as they were.
A naive Tal Shiar agent? Will wonders never cease.
An officer of the Republic.
Semantics.
Whatever helps you sleep at night.





Engineering to bridge. Your problems were caused by spatial explosives set around your warp core. They have been disarmed and your warp core is operational again.
Did you find the saboteur?
What saboteur? These look like scuttling charges, not military munitions.
A security precaution. Someone must have set them.
That wasn't the deal.
It is now.
...
Engineering?




As I said, that wasn't the deal.
Are you really going to risk the fate of the Alpha Quadrant on a fit of pique?
That depends on whether you're really going to risk the goodwill of the one person on this ship who knows where to find a functioning Iconian gateway.
The Alliance would never allow this ship into the Solanae or Dewa gateways.
I don't intend to visit either of those. The Empire knows of another gateway, fully functional, that I was briefed on after the massacre of the High Council. On an unclaimed world in neutral space.
...
...
You have a deal, captain. Where do we set a course for?
The Nopada system.










I've been reading about this crew's exploits while you were busy with the Romulans. When will the Tal Shiar ever run out of warbirds?
With replicators and solar power, all it takes to build a ship is time, and raw mass and energy. The only real limitation is trained crew.
The Tal Shiar's use of Borg technology and forced conversion of conscripted civilians significantly mitigates that problem in turn.
They're as soulless as the false empress. Captain, can an accident happen to Sela's ship? Please? She did send Lieutenant Selen over as agreed.
Permission granted. Once we return, send that ship to Gre'thor.
Tal Shiar ships opening fire!





A converted space liner destroying two D'Deridex warbirds without even losing shields? I need to speak with the engineers who converted my ship.
I'm blushing.
And the D'Deridex, when you look at its operational history, is honestly not a very good ship at all. Sending coordinates to you now, Sela. This was a secret research facility for Colonel Hakeev of the Tal Shiar.




One of Hakeev's facilities? Interesting. He was a worthy opponent.
Admiral Sekah of the Republic Navy killed him last year.
Right before the Iconians tried to remove me from the board. I'm still trying to catch up on everything that happened while I was imprisoned.
Trying to talk my ears off without actually saying anything is a novel spin on the traditional Romulan secrecy.




Tal Shiar!
These areas are clean and well maintained. The Tal Shiar didn't leave with Hakeev's death.





Actually, Tylos, it looks like they did. They only came back a couple of months ago, looking for Hakeev's facilities.
Is the gateway still operational?
They couldn't find it. Apparently they got as far as Hakeev's office, and were unable to break his encryption.
Hakeev and his fractal encryption systems. I think I can solve that problem for us.




Be my guest.
Hakeev was too obsessed with efficiency and getting results. So long as what he saw conformed to his expectations, he seldom looked too closely.
A common failing of zealots and visionaries.
I read his file on you during the flight to this system. You never met Hakeev, but you upset him quite dramatically, T'Kara of Chuch'SuS.
He sits in esteemed company among the coals of Gre'thor.
First you destroyed House Torg, something he'd poured years into suborning, then you thoroughly dismembered his supply chain in the Orion Syndicate.
Is there any particular point to this flattery?
You are a difficult one to read. No wonder Section 31 has taken such an interest in you.
'No' would have sufficed.
Fine. One 'unbreakable' encryption scheme broken. We have lab access.




(This room may look familiar to thread regulars with good memories)




You should have brought an army, slave.
Or at least a much bigger gun.




Are all Trills this resilient?
I suspect she is not a Trill in whole.





Her thought patterns are... separating?!



Bluegill!



She was a pawn of the Iconians the entire time.
Not one of the traps I was expecting, but a good sign.
The Iconians know we're a threat.
Qulmo'watlh, we're beaming a Starfleet officer directly to medical. Trill female, she was infested with a bluegill and will need immediate attention. Away team, we proceed as planned.
Qulmo'watlh acknowledges, we're keeping station up here. No sign of Tal Shiar reinforcements. Good hunting, captain.






Confirmed, this is a dyson sphere of the same manufacture as the Solanae and Jenolan spheres. Trying to parse the spatial locator, but...
But what?
If this is accurate, then we're... we've...
Captain, we're in the Andromeda galaxy.




Two lifesigns ahead. Sela, and a Romulan.
Today is one of those days when being right doesn't feel like a victory.




Hello, Taris.
No, not yet! Not yet!
After her!




Industrial equipment repurposed into a makeshift barricade of lethal hazards. So help me, if there's a Kobali at the end of this...
Er, what are you talking about?
It's a long story that doesn't really make sense.




No... You don't understand. I didn't seek them out because I wanted to rule. I needed them to save us! To turn back time! To undo Hobus and bring back Romulus!
Then you're more of a fool than I thought. You poor, deluded creature. The Iconians aren't interested in saving anything. Nor could they.
We have to get out of here. It's not safe here anymore. They're coming!
I guess you'd better go, then.
(Sela kicks Taris off the platform)

If only you had known, Taris. The Iconians can't travel through time. It destroys their minds.
(rumble)




Oh... Oh no...
Ancestors...
Analysis... analysis... Error.
We... what... what do we do, sir?

Warriors of the Empire, we are leaving! Back to the gateway, now!
What about Sela?
Forget about Sela! RUN!




Elachi!
Cut through them!




Error. Unable to ident-
GO!




We made it! We're all here! But... where's Sela?
I was too busy running to keep an eye on her.
As was I.
I think we've got bigger problems than one self-proclaimed empress, people.
Agreed. Qulmo'watlh, beam us directly to the bridge and set a direct course for Iconia. Maximum warp, redline anything you have to.
Sir?... Aye, sir.
And send out a priority one call on all channels. Any allied ships, join us.




We've picked up a few Starfleet and Republic ships. They want to know what's going on.
So do I. Captain T'Kara?
Pray I'm wrong. As soon as we arrive, get me Chancellor J'mpok.





Captain T'Kara, I trust you have an explanation for what I'm seeing.
The Iconians are here.

Hunter Noventa
Apr 21, 2010

Cythereal posted:

A converted space liner destroying two D'Deridex warbirds without even losing shields? I need to speak with the engineers who converted my ship.
I'm blushing.
And the D'Deridex, when you look at its operational history, is honestly not a very good ship at all. Sending coordinates to you now, Sela. This was a secret research facility for Colonel Hakeev of the Tal Shiar.


Sela, you're using brainwashed civilians, I'm surprised your ship can fly at all.

And I'd also love to hear T'kara's in-depth thoughts on the D'Deridex.

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

"Silly klingon, ships don't need a crew stat anymore."

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.
If anyone has STO and wants to contribute to the LP for the next update, I intend to do a few shots of the fleets making ready. If you have a ship you'd like to cameo in the LP, send me a screenshot (with no UI) of your ship(s) at warp or in dock or whatever, as long as there's nothing visibly too exotic in shot (like, say, the assimilated set or someone flying a Borg Juggernaut or whatever).

Send me a PM on discord or here on SA.

Lemniscate Blue
Apr 21, 2006

Here we go again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SN-g4D4bofo

Dun dun! Dun! Dun!

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Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.
Neve change, T’Kara :allears:

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