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Air Skwirl
May 13, 2007

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Kalli posted:

What QB is the best at sex? I mean aside from Philip Rivers.

I posit Alex Smith got the dick that won't quit.

Russell Wilson.

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Henrik Zetterberg
Dec 7, 2007

Kalli posted:

What QB is the best at sex? I mean aside from Philip Rivers.

I posit Alex Smith got the dick that won't quit.

I think who you're looking for is Big Dick Nick.

Skwirl posted:

Russell Wilson.

Nah, only 1 data point.

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012


Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.



Wedge Regret

Kalli posted:

What QB is the best at sex? I mean aside from Philip Rivers.

I posit Alex Smith got the dick that won't quit.

Jay Cutler.

Bird in a Blender
Nov 17, 2005

It's amazing what they can do with computers these days.

Mitch Trubisky is really good at foreplay, but can't finish the job.

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

https://twitter.com/TomPelissero/status/1295438878963314690


https://twitter.com/JohnReid64/status/1295343561936904196?s=20


https://twitter.com/MaseDenver/status/1295410729177112577


https://twitter.com/PGutierrezESPN/status/1295406605073354752

Professor Funk
Aug 4, 2008

WE ALL KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN
Blood for the blood god

https://twitter.com/nfldraftscout/status/1295442367630237697?s=20

The Juggernaut
Nov 29, 2005


That's my quarterback?

Cam its 74 and you are already wearing a hoodie? WTF are you going to cut open a Tauntaun at midfield to survive the 4th Quarter 2 minute drill for the game winning touchdown in January to go 6 and 10 for the season? And make the playoffs because the AFC East is a true dumpster fire now.

In my little Cam searching, I found out he's got a daughter named, Sovereign-Dior Cambella Newton.

Cam is good and cool and will stop at nothing to be nothing less than unique. Right down the the naming of his children.

Will Bill be able to reel in a wild Cam Newton? We aren't going to change the lifestyle but maybe its pocket prescience? Maybe a little Brady will rub off on him?

Don't die Cam, you seem like a good guy

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
Hmm

https://twitter.com/JeffMillerLAT/status/1295403280357457922?s=19

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003

Mystic Stylez
Dec 19, 2009

all NFL players must die so Joey Bosa can rise again

Salvor_Hardin
Sep 13, 2005

I want to go protest.
Nap Ghost

Kalli posted:

What QB is the best at sex? I mean aside from Philip Rivers.

I posit Alex Smith got the dick that won't quit.

Phil isnt actually good, he's a compiler. He's the Frank Gore of getting laid.

Hamhandler
Aug 9, 2008

[I want to] shit in your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your fucking mouth. [I'm going to] slap your real mother across the face [laughter]. Fuck you, you're still a rookie. I'll kill you.
Ryan Fitzpatrick has almost as many kids as Phillip Rivers and I think his loose, devil may care attitude on the field indicates that he is a good sex-haver.

shirts and skins
Jun 25, 2007

Good morning!

Named after Derek, of course

Spoeank
Jul 16, 2003

That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Kalli posted:

What QB is the best at sex? I mean aside from Philip Rivers.

I posit Alex Smith got the dick that won't quit.

Jimmy bagged a porn star so he probably learned a thing or 2

Ches Neckbeard
Dec 3, 2005

You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!
Get those dumb coachisms into my veins

https://twitter.com/RVacchianoSNY/status/1295396048970678272?s=20

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
lol, imagine thinking that that makes a statement

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



What the hell is it that happens to ex-Belichick assistants.

Mystic Stylez
Dec 19, 2009

https://twitter.com/Jake_Trotter/status/1295453307767525378

kiimo
Jul 24, 2003


Phew! It's just his brain

AndrewP
Apr 21, 2010


Joe Judge just wants them to play for the name on the front of the jersey.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
The coaches know who the players are.

- The New York Giants

sharknado slashfic
Jun 24, 2011

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

The coaches know who the players are.

- The New York Giants

Step up from usual at least

It's amazing how every single one takes the wrong lessons from BB

SilvergunSuperman
Aug 7, 2010

Is the lesson to luck into a savant friend that lets you take all the credit?

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.
It's amazing how many coaches work with Belicheck and think, "Wow, he wins so much because he's such a hard-rear end!" while ignoring the whole "actually gets his players' respect" and "actually talented at game plans" and "actually cheats" parts.

I'd be interested to see more former Belicheck players enter coaching, Vrabel's had some oddball moments but he also makes some ballsy decisions and hasn't pissed his team off, which is a step up from most Belicheck assistants.

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012


Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.



Wedge Regret

I’m picturing half the exchanges at Giants camp just being the intro to The Prisoner.

really queer Christmas
Apr 22, 2014

Mega64 posted:

It's amazing how many coaches work with Belicheck and think, "Wow, he wins so much because he's such a hard-rear end!" while ignoring the whole "actually gets his players' respect" and "actually talented at game plans" and "actually cheats" parts.

I'd be interested to see more former Belicheck players enter coaching, Vrabel's had some oddball moments but he also makes some ballsy decisions and hasn't pissed his team off, which is a step up from most Belicheck assistants.

I'm guessing former players are more likely to understand why he's a good coach compared to other coaches who didn't have to actually play for him, and just stay in whatever lane BB gives them.

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012
The vrabel timescam leading to a playoff win against bb was the greatest moment in titans history

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon

Nap Ghost

NOOOOO!!

But he may live to survive Covid? So yay?

Perhaps this is why there are suddenly so many knee and leg injuries? "Hey bro, I gotta save face. Do me a solid and take me out for the season."

SunshineDanceParty
Feb 7, 2006

One Road. Two Friends. One Ass.

Kalli posted:

What QB is the best at sex? I mean aside from Philip Rivers.

I posit Alex Smith got the dick that won't quit.

Yeah I'm going to agree with Russell Wilson. In that I am here to please you please direct robotic way.

Maybe Jimmy Garoppolo since the porn star hook up is established and maybe he learned things along the way.

Mostly though football culture caters to QBs so much I assume most of them suck at sex but think they're great at it. Besides Rivers of course.

Edit - nevermind it's Teddy Bridgewater

SunshineDanceParty fucked around with this message at 22:44 on Aug 17, 2020

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon

Nap Ghost
Can Gronk throw?

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

Gatts posted:

Can Gronk throw?

If you could teach him to take a snap from under center he could probably spike it.

The wind up might be a problem if you've got some penetrating DTs though.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
Only nerds would think sleeping with a pornstar means you're good at sex.

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

Only nerds would think sleeping with a pornstar means you're good at sex.
turn your monitor on

SunshineDanceParty
Feb 7, 2006

One Road. Two Friends. One Ass.

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

Only nerds would think sleeping with a pornstar means you're good at sex.

I said maybe. So I'm maybe a nerd.

fartknocker
Oct 28, 2012


Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.



Wedge Regret

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

Only nerds would think sleeping with a pornstar means you're good at sex.

I’m withholding judgement until someone breaks down the film.

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

Only nerds would think sleeping with a pornstar means you're good at sex.

Nerds and, of course, the President of the United States of America.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer

Gatts posted:

Can Gronk throw?

I've been saying for years that Tim Tebow's throwing motion was just a gronk spike aimed downfield.

Thaddius the Large
Jul 5, 2006

It's in the five-hole!

Jiminy Christmas! Shoes! posted:

Only nerds would think sleeping with a pornstar means you're good at sex.

Look, I said I’m hoping she rubs off on me, you can interpret that as you like

sharknado slashfic
Jun 24, 2011

Noted sex authority Jiminy Christmas! Shoes!

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seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION



Toilet Rascal
Didn't the porn star say Jimmy G wouldn't quit? She's probably got some good data on that.

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