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VideoTapir posted:Why do I have this vague sense that I remember that name for reasons other than d&d art? I checked wikipedia to see of if he got cancelled for any reason but nothing. Share the knowledge if you have any
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Aug 23, 2020 13:04
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Galewolf posted:I only read the first book literally to that exact scene and was like ugghh. I read like a dozen of them and the memories are starting to seep in The ages of the "riders"...get a lot...younger...
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Aug 23, 2020 13:12
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Shageletic posted:I read like a dozen of them and the memories are starting to seep in I wonder if that happened before or after the original author's son took over the series... I feel like I really missed out on the golden age of fantasy art. That old stuff sucked so much poo poo, I could have been among the greats, but now people have standards and expect characters to actually look how they're described in the books. Back then you could paint some wild bullshit with horrible anatomy and absolutely no concern for color, composition, or taste and as long as there were tits or a screaming wizard you were IN
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Aug 23, 2020 13:26
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Bismuth posted:Back then you could paint some wild bullshit with horrible anatomy and absolutely no concern for color, composition, or taste and as long as there were tits or a screaming wizard you were IN Anyone got pictures of a wizard screaming at tits? It’s kinda my thing.
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Aug 23, 2020 13:38
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EimiYoshikawa posted:I...believe you are, indeed, mistaking it for something else. I could never find people to play Hunter: the Reckoning, but the world was so awesome to early 20s me that I bought most if not all of the source books just to read. Charnel Houses of Europe kinda stuck with me. Shageletic posted:this whole thread is a trip, but remember how this guy's whole arc was stalking a living woman That living woman was of course the Evil General of the Evil Armies, and also of course Raistlin and Caramon's sister, or maybe half-sister? Shaman Tank Spec fucked around with this message at 13:45 on Aug 23, 2020 |
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Aug 23, 2020 13:41
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CPA Hell posted:Anyone got pictures of a wizard screaming at tits? It’s kinda my thing. How about a lizard monster bring flabbergasted by them 
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Aug 23, 2020 13:44
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Shageletic posted:How about a lizard monster bring flabbergasted by them A vision of breasts indeed Also that's clearly a fish-man you buffoon. See this is what I'm talking about, the fish and teen wolf guys probably aren't even in the book, and if they are there's no way they're supposed to look like that. E: I can't find a single review of this book, I don't think anyone has ever read it. I might need to read it myself now just to see what secrets remain buried. Bismuth fucked around with this message at 14:22 on Aug 23, 2020 |
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Aug 23, 2020 14:01
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Comstar posted:OP clearly read the book because of the cover. And I think it's good. No, friend. Look at the protagonists. They clearly feel nothing but disdain for the reader.
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Aug 23, 2020 14:48
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I've never read it, but Larry Elmore did a serial comic for Dragon ages ago. I only just looked it up. Lynda Carter and Jar-Jar Binks's granddad get into wacky fantasy adventures. 
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Aug 23, 2020 14:49
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Empty Sandwich posted:I've never read it, but Larry Elmore did a serial comic for Dragon ages ago. I only just looked it up. Chain Mail: AC 5
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Aug 23, 2020 14:54
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Galewolf posted:"His body was glistening with sweat from the lovemaking" but I think that was actually a GURRM line from the first book of ASOIAF. “His manhood glistened wetly,” iirc. This thread is a pretty incredible honeypot
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Aug 23, 2020 16:17
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Shageletic posted:How about a lizard monster bring flabbergasted by them This owns btw, I want Sasquatch/Merman/naked swordlady on a van.
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Aug 23, 2020 17:15
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I have the first three Dragonlance books personally signed by Weis, Hickman, Elmore, and Beauvais. As well as number of prints signed by Parkinson. Suck it haters 
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Aug 23, 2020 17:24
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CPA Hell posted:Anyone got pictures of a wizard screaming at tits? It’s kinda my thing. 
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Aug 23, 2020 17:29
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Galewolf posted:Chain Mail: AC 5 "Her most essential organs are covered," said fantasy Andrew Dice Clay (he's a kender this time). fake edit: Andrew Polyhedral Dice Clay
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Aug 23, 2020 17:32
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Jesse Ventura posted:“His manhood glistened wetly,” iirc. I, a book reader, have dunked my glistening manhood into the honeypot.
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Aug 23, 2020 19:47
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I kinda regret discovering Weis and Hickman as a kid instead of say Glen Cook, who did bad fantasy the right way imo
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Aug 24, 2020 01:33
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Empty Sandwich posted:I've never read it, but Larry Elmore did a serial comic for Dragon ages ago. I only just looked it up. Fun Fact: This comic is terrible! Unfunny jokes, meandering story, casual sexism that’s aged like the finest dwarven ale, and truly terrible writing.
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Aug 24, 2020 02:36
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This thread is now just about awful fantasy novels and short stories
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Aug 24, 2020 02:45
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Dragonlance got me into reading at 10 or so. I still like that silly poo poo. Truly unforgivable fantasy is Terry goodling and his sword of truth series, I wish I'd known better but at that point I was reading anything with a sword guy on the cover.
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Aug 24, 2020 03:23
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Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:This thread is now just about awful fantasy novels and short stories I read so many awful series as a kid. The Shannara books, Dragonlance, Sword of Truth, any of the Drizzt books by Salvatore. Stuff that when I read it I knew it was pretty bad. There are series I won't go back to because I remember them being good to young teenage me like Dragon Prince and Exiles (which Im pretty sure Melanie Rawn never finished?) and I'm fine believing that.
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Aug 24, 2020 03:50
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Meatwolfe posted:Truly unforgivable fantasy is Terry goodling and his sword of truth series, I wish I'd known better but at that point I was reading anything with a sword guy on the cover.
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Aug 24, 2020 03:51
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Oh we free to talk about Pern now because YOHOO boy howdy its some DUMB poo poo yall. I'm pulling this from memory though because gently caress going through the books again just to bitch about them online. Ok so one of the things that gets me is how monumentally stupid the humans in the series are, like as a species, and this gets into what I mean about it being Star Trek fanfic. SO like the humans are part of some space federation thing from earth that goes around looking for habitable worlds and then colonizing them, so they check out all the planets in a system and then pick one to colonize. They found out Pern was habitable yay! Theres also this really weird rogue planet that has a weird orbit, definitely not habitable so lets not bother seeing if it has any effect on the habitable planet right? So these dipshits colonize Pern and WITHIN MONTHS they figure out that this rogue planet drops thread (this weird bug stuff) that eats everything it touches. Logic dictates at that point they'd gently caress back off into their space ship and LEAVE right? This planet has deadly thread bugs that routinely drop and consume all life? Seems lovely. Naw they make their supercomputer start trying to figure out a way to get rid of the thread, and apparently despite having no effect on plastic, stone, glass, metal (stuff that like, machines are made of) the computer decided the best way to deal with thread was bio-engineering local lizards into hosed up bug-eyed giraffe-horned tail-making GBS threads horny-beam beaming teleporting (TIME TRAVELING) telepathic "dragons" which people would ride into battle against the thread. I seriously dont get why these assholes didnt just leave. My theory is that Pern was actually an australia-style prison colony where earth shipped all their perverts to.
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Aug 24, 2020 03:53
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Here's the million-dollar question: Is Gor fantasy or science fiction? The answer is yes.
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Aug 24, 2020 04:20
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Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:This thread is now just about awful fantasy novels and short stories So...all fantasy novels and short stories then?  The memories are coming back, the Pandoras box is open now. Salvatore had a trilogy which was basically Drizzt but a generic hero, you guessed it, good at swords. He had a wacky gnome rogue (dwarf?) friend and archer lady as love interest and the main baddies were like bigger sized humanoid cyclopses and a wizard I think. It's literally Drizzt with his bantering fellows but the lead guy had ONLY one magical sword.
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Aug 24, 2020 09:08
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Are the Deltora Quest books complete garbage? I remember reading through a few of them when I was young and I really enjoyed them but I haven't seen one or heard anyone talk about those books since.
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Aug 24, 2020 11:06
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Shageletic posted:How about a lizard monster bring flabbergasted by them My roomate found and bought all 3 of these books (because they're incredibly cheap) I will be reading them and taking notes for everyone
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Aug 24, 2020 11:25
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the greatest story ever told
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Aug 24, 2020 11:59
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strange feelings re Daisy posted:That's the series where the hero slaughters pacifist protesters and it's portrayed as necessary and good. There's also a lot of S&M sex stuff with a whole order of mystic dominatrix women and fantasy Ayn Rand Objectivism lessons. Yeah, dudes always in a "righteous rage" from his sword of truth and you get a lot of graphic descriptions of him just slaughtering people who dont agree with him. The authors politics started to creep into the books and I had to stop. It's like the cannon films of books, but without the fun.
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Aug 24, 2020 12:10
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Bismuth posted:Yep! And one again the dragons were engineered by man so they were made that way. Oh also like half of the dragons were female but almost all of the riders were male so it resulted in astronomical levels of buttsex For all that, there was only one gay couple in the books, and none of the other books acknowledged the dudes getting it on. There was also an infamous interview where someone asked about gay dragon riders and she said that those dragons would only choose gay boys and also if they did accidentally choose a straight guy then he would turn gay as soon as he had a dick inside him.
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Aug 24, 2020 12:22
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I remember WTFing at that once and someone rushed to defend it saying 'actually it was a key element of the plot' as though that doesn't make it worse.
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Aug 24, 2020 12:31
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I read the wayfarer redemption when I was a kid, went back to read them years later and hooooly are they slow.
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Aug 24, 2020 12:37
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No Pants posted:For all that, there was only one gay couple in the books, and none of the other books acknowledged the dudes getting it on. There was also an infamous interview where someone asked about gay dragon riders and she said that those dragons would only choose gay boys and also if they did accidentally choose a straight guy then he would turn gay as soon as he had a dick inside him. Imagine not realizing you're gay yet and a psychic dragon just decides that for you in front of everyone I still wanna know why dragons were a better option than robots (who would be immune to the thread by nature) or just leaving the drat planet
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Aug 24, 2020 12:49
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This is getting a little SF (no actual magic apart from shot that would befiddly as all hell miraculously working on the first try), bit haveany of you read Leo Frankowski's Conrad Stargard novels, It's alternate history/time travel in which a 20th century engineer is transported to 13th century poland a few years before the mongols arrived. The first thing he does is gently caress children, and this is a thing that keeps coming up. I finally noped out near the end when there was a tribe of Indigenous people in the Amazon who were described as childlike and who all wanted to gently caress the protagonist. The author was a piece of work extreme MRA type whose house may have been worse than Groverhaus. He married a Russian lady, moved to Russia, and creeped on her daughter in his blog. He died not much later. Coincidence?
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Aug 24, 2020 12:50
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i have good memories of some feist novels, particularly "rise of the merchant prince." in hindsight both goodkind and brooks are real bad tho
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Aug 24, 2020 12:52
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also how about bad covers of good books https://twitter.com/_LandryJLee/status/1297228643672952833
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Aug 24, 2020 13:08
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VideoTapir posted:I remember WTFing at that once and someone rushed to defend it saying 'actually it was a key element of the plot' as though that doesn't make it worse. They made the lovely chainmail a plot point in Azure Bonds too: 
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Aug 24, 2020 13:26
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baw posted:also how about bad covers of good books
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Aug 24, 2020 13:34
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The books are good, because the books are bad, and since the books are at a specific formulaic level of bad, they become good The books are bad, making them loop to good, which is bad because they are bad and bad things cannot categorically be good, but in being this variant of quantum goodbad badgood flipfloppery these stories and series of novels kind of parasitize our brains and make us love to hate them, hate to love them, get into some sort of long-form emotionally attached pseudo-relationship mentally with them They bear this accursed energy, and whether it was an intentional act of malice on the part of the authors of these rededications to a crusade against the sun and all who dwell under it, I can only confirm for the McCaffrey Family as an authorial whole and Pern as their ode to humanity's end
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Aug 24, 2020 14:14
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i could never figure out who this zifnab character was 
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Aug 24, 2020 14:23
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