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DrPossum posted:i could never figure out who this zifnab character was I read multiple margret/tracy series and even as a kid this character pissed me off
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Aug 24, 2020 18:51
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Another real garbage book is the one with the armored polar bear. Golden compass?
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Aug 24, 2020 18:57
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Mne nravitsya posted:I have the first three Dragonlance books personally signed by Weis, Hickman, Elmore, and Beauvais. As well as number of prints signed by Parkinson. Calm down, Beauvais. Nice! Elmore is my favorite fantasy artist of all time. Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:This thread is now just about awful fantasy novels and short stories Hell yes.
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Aug 24, 2020 19:05
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Fizban was a DMPC and the worst kind Twee and silly because it was written by decayed ‘adults’ who never actually decided to grow up, for consumption by the same class of half-people who cry of you tell them Star Trek is cancelled
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Aug 24, 2020 19:09
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Wanted By Weed posted:Here's the million-dollar question: I read some Gor books as a teenager, up until one that ended something like "I am ruined as a warrior... a woman is never a woman until she is a slave, but a man who's been a slave is never again a man." I couldn't really get past the author's fetish after that, not that there hadn't already been plenty of evidence.
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Aug 24, 2020 19:15
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I could respect these loser freaks if they could just admit ‘this is low quality offensive porn I jerk off to’ but they can never quite seem to manage it
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Aug 24, 2020 19:17
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Empty Sandwich posted:I read some Gor books as a teenager, up until one that ended something like "I am ruined as a warrior... a woman is never a woman until she is a slave, but a man who's been a slave is never again a man." I read all of them during my college years. The funniest part about that statement is that the guy I *believe* said that basically got over himself and bootstrapped his way to being super duper manly man, and then it never was brought up again. Men who are supposedly debased by being slaves are always able to conveniently escape it through plot contrivance, because the author somehow refuses to let his own fetishes compromise the bizarre ideology of the narrative. which is that men are naturally men, even the ones *bred to be slaves* and women are supposed to be only slaves, and the ones that aren't slaves are miserable until they are. It's such a jarring double standard, even for sexist fetish literature.
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Aug 24, 2020 19:32
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Colonel Cancer posted:Another real garbage book is the one with the armored polar bear. Golden compass? Cursed post.
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Aug 24, 2020 20:33
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Galewolf posted:So...all fantasy novels and short stories then? The Crimson Shadow series. It wasn't as good as the Golden Spearwielder series, but as a whole I think it was better than the DemonWars series (although I do like the magical rocks of that series).
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Aug 24, 2020 20:39
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For anyone that wants to get in on the demented funhouse that’s Goodkind’s Sword of Truth books, check out END ME SCOOB’s long running let’s read: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3668845 It historically goes into long periods of hibernation when Scoob deals with real life and/or retreats into the shame vault to revitalize his essence, but if you’ve never read them it’s quite the thrill ride.
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Aug 24, 2020 20:43
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Empty Sandwich posted:Calm down, Beauvais. Nice! Elmore is my favorite fantasy artist of all time. Interesting factoid: Tanis, on the cover art of the first Dragonlance book (It’s been posted in this thread) is a self portrait of Elmore when he was painting these covers in the 1980’s
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Aug 24, 2020 21:31
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I was working at a bookstore when Goodkind released the first of his Sword of Truth series. It was genuinely hailed as a refreshing change from Tolkien-dominated fantasy by a lot of early articles about it but, one reviewer noted- the torture scene in the middle was a bit much. That probably should have been a hint that trouble was ahead. I unwittingly inflicted that series on a bunch of friends so, uh, sorry for the mess.
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Aug 24, 2020 23:02
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I read some of the Shadowrun novels once. Once.
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Aug 24, 2020 23:18
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The Bible posted:I read some of the Shadowrun novels once. I read a magic the gathering novel once
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Aug 24, 2020 23:26
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I googled 'Dragonlance Boob Armor' to try and explain why this is not bad fantasy fiction, but I couldn't find the relevant image sorry OP.
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Aug 24, 2020 23:32
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This is one of the images but it's not THE IMAGE. just so you know,
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Aug 24, 2020 23:35
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I don't know why this one causes issues, but it did. A long time ago.
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Aug 24, 2020 23:40
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cynic posted:I don't know why this one causes issues, but it did. A long time ago. dragon is over this poo poo
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Aug 24, 2020 23:41
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baw posted:also how about bad covers of good books this is some prime avatar material
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Aug 24, 2020 23:46
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Black August posted:dragon is over this poo poo I mean... it's a given; fucken D&D dragons. But ginger armourboob azure bonds chick. She kinda broke 14 year old me. 
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Aug 24, 2020 23:49
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DrPossum posted:this is some prime avatar material ahah i had that one as a kid! i forgot about that. lmao
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Aug 25, 2020 00:07
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I told a friend about this thread and he sent me this picture, taken today, to share with you: E: "Top tier: Conundrum (gnome submarine story) Doom Brigade (lizardman settlement story) poo poo tier: Everything else Especially trash tier: Amber and Ashes"
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Aug 25, 2020 00:19
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Batterypowered7 posted:I told a friend about this thread and he sent me this picture, taken today, to share with you: I salute his awareness of the problem.
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Aug 25, 2020 00:32
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NC Wyeth Death Cult posted:I was working at a bookstore when Goodkind released the first of his Sword of Truth series. It was genuinely hailed as a refreshing change from Tolkien-dominated fantasy by a lot of early articles about it but, one reviewer noted- the torture scene in the middle was a bit much. That probably should have been a hint that trouble was ahead. I unwittingly inflicted that series on a bunch of friends so, uh, sorry for the mess. To expand on this for any goons lucky enough to have not read these books, the "torture scene" could have been many things, but was probably the main character being forced to be a magic femdom bdsm pain/sex slave for like 1/4 of the book. Other things that happen: the main bad guy force feeds a restrained child a gallon of molten lead, the main female protagonist makes a pedophile eat his own balls, and the main character boots an 8 year old in the jaw so hard she shatters all her teeth, bites off her tongue, and cuts a backflip. This last one is portayed as a good thing, where, in kicking the poo poo out of a bratty child, the MC takes some of the power back in his weird magic bdsm "relationship". When you're 14 and your experience with fantasy is Tolkien and Wheel of Time, this is all extremely rad and edgy, but as an adult its just gross and dumb.
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Aug 25, 2020 00:35
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One More Fat Nerd posted:This last one is portayed as a good thing, where, in kicking the poo poo out of a bratty child, the MC takes some of the power back in his weird magic bdsm "relationship" this is also ultimately in the service of the john galt farmer who hasn't been entitled to the sweat of his own brow
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Aug 25, 2020 01:43
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The last Piers Anthony books I really enjoyed were the Apprentice Adept books which I read at age 11. I've done my goddamndest to avoid reading anything about them so my memories of being a happy young lad aren't ruined.
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Aug 25, 2020 01:58
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Zeniel posted:Yeah plus it gave us really memorable characters like Dagoth Ur and Uncle Fuckface.
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Aug 25, 2020 02:04
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Man, harry potter has issues but it was sure better than the other garbage I was reading as a child. At least more kid-friendly.
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Aug 25, 2020 02:06
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Mozi posted:ahah i had that one as a kid! i forgot about that. lmao I had it too. It was my first assigned reading for freshman lit. I had never read any of Tolkien's poo poo before, so was excited to read about this dragon. Of course my bitch of a teacher passed out a motherfucking character sheet for us to read before the book, where it literally described what everyone did, even Bard, who killed the dragon. Welp now I didn't have to read the book, thanks! Does anyone else remember the Anne Rice Sleeping Beauty bullshit? An ex gave me the books and told me they were dark fantasy, so I was all in. And then I read the first five pages and was like, uh...did he just rape her? Okay, then everyone wakes up, and the prince makes her walk around her parents naked, and says he's from a kingdom where...all the other cities send their princesses and the like for training? Okay. Wait, he's making her run naked? And then she is forced to have sex/watch his mom gently caress slaves? Wait, they're slaves? WTF is this! AND THERE'S THREE BOOKS OF IT? More rape but we don't call it that because everyone enjoys it! And then something with the lords and ladies using the slaves as horses and playing polo? I think? And then some slaves are used as horses to draw carriages? And no one ever gets pregnant or an STD for some reason.
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Aug 25, 2020 02:06
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Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:The last Piers Anthony books I really enjoyed were the Apprentice Adept books which I read at age 11. I've done my goddamndest to avoid reading anything about them so my memories of being a happy young lad aren't ruined. I loved his Incantations of Immortality series as a teenager. I found my old copy of For Love of Evil a while back and was considering rereading it.
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Aug 25, 2020 02:46
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Cowslips Warren posted:I had it too. It was my first assigned reading for freshman lit. "Dark Fantasy" always means rape
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Aug 25, 2020 03:02
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Cowslips Warren posted:I had it too. It was my first assigned reading for freshman lit. What the gently caress? Who does that????? Who thinks character sheets that spell out what everyone does is more important than just reading the story as it's meant to be read? Who opens with that? I bet that teacher edits wikipedia. poo poo, no, I bet that teacher edits TV Tropes.
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Aug 25, 2020 03:07
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I read the Belgariad books when I was a kid and they were kinda entertaining but goofy, but then he wrote a second set of books with the same characters which were exactly the same books pretty much. And then he tried tried to pass it off by the characters going "Wow we are in some kind of cosmic loop" at one point.
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Aug 25, 2020 03:23
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Blurry Gray Thing posted:What the gently caress? Who does that????? Who thinks character sheets that spell out what everyone does is more important than just reading the story as it's meant to be read? Who opens with that? This was the second indication this woman was loving insane. I mean, looking back, she was eight months pregnant and teaching an advanced honors lit course with freshman and sophomores, the latter she had had the previous year as freshmen. The first was our first assignment: she wanted us all to make Genesis booklets, with drawings about God making the world in the first seven days. I thought it was weird for a lit class, but she explained it was for creation stories (she got mad when some student asked about creation myths), and turned my crappily drawn one in as assigned. Most of the freshmen did not, and a few had told their parents, especially when the teacher said this would be the ONLY story we did this for, no, we would not do anything on "other religions." Turns out she wanted the books for her son's Sunday school class. And oh, man, the loving tears from her the next class after the principal had gotten pissed off calls from parents, and she called us all ungrateful for not wanting to expand our minds.
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Aug 25, 2020 03:32
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Black August posted:dragon is over this poo poo 
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Aug 25, 2020 03:33
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 even pre teen me knew enough to not bother with the last book after the massive meandering mess the third one is although now that this thread brought it out of the memory hole im morbidly curious and vaguely upset im never finishing it lol
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Aug 25, 2020 03:36
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A bold stance OP, taking nerds down a peg. An admirable foe that was a struggle to defeat. A much harder battle than tackling bigotry in Greek life or such.
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Aug 25, 2020 03:37
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bagual posted:
I never actually read these books because as a kid I hated the dragon's big goofy horse lips. I know that was a dumb reason not to read a book but I dont regret it at all.
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Aug 25, 2020 03:44
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I remember a book from high school where there were humans and angel-like creatures, and every few years or so, a match between both groups would be picked by some god on high (turns out it was some ancient spaceship or some poo poo), and the pair had to sing some special song to keep the god happy. And then they'd have to stay together to do it again next time or something. And the angels could not get together or they'd make demons, so they could only gently caress humans. IIRC the story was about a human slave who had just been freed, and then was captured by the angels and told nope, you have to be with this one angel or the world ends, so you better be able to sing this song or we all die. I cannot remember what the title was. Still better than The Hobbit.
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Aug 25, 2020 03:48
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Cowslips Warren posted:I had it too. It was my first assigned reading for freshman lit. I believe her Sleeping Beauty books were published under the name A. N. Roquelaure. She wrote her smuttier stuff under that name as well as Anne Rampling. I guess my shame to add to this thread is that I owned every book she wrote under the name "Anne Rice" up until 2003. I think I was 11 and I picked up Interview with the Vampire and The Witching Hour at an airport at random and just went on from there.
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Aug 25, 2020 03:51
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