Weatherdammerung 2024: I didn't expect it to get this weird and bad this soon

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > Weatherdammerung 2024: I didn't expect it to get this weird and bad this soon

«‹›1017 »

FlamingLiberal: Jan 18, 2009; Would you like to play a game?

i don�t think there is enough time left for that to be possible. It�s like 12 hours from landfall.

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:05

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# ? May 30, 2024 08:56

Zeno-25: Dec 5, 2009; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Have faith in hellworld, fellow cspam poster

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:08

hobbesmaster: Jan 28, 2008

Zeno-25 posted:

Euro model still has Laura coming ashore a real raging bitch of a storm

205 mph winds?

Go home Euro, you're drunk.

...but it is 2020

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:09

SpaceCadetBob: Dec 27, 2012

How populous is Lake Charles and the surrounding area? This storm is looking pretty yikes.

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:10

Luneshot: Mar 10, 2014

https://twitter.com/michaelrlowry/status/1298636105126944768?s=21

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:11

SpaceCadetBob: Dec 27, 2012

hobbesmaster posted:

205 mph winds?

Go home Euro, you're drunk.

...but it is 2020

Thats in KPH so like 127 mph.

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:11

FlamingLiberal: Jan 18, 2009; Would you like to play a game?

That�s low then, the new official forecast is saying up to 135 mph sustained at landfall

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:13

hobbesmaster: Jan 28, 2008

SpaceCadetBob posted:

Thats in KPH so like 127 mph.

330kph = 205 mph in the eyewall. It is gusts though so I guess its predicting the mesovortices?

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:13

SpaceCadetBob: Dec 27, 2012

hobbesmaster posted:

330kph = 205 mph in the eyewall. It is gusts though so I guess its predicting the mesovortices?

Oh yea, sorry, you're right. I didn't look that closely either I guess.

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:15

Log082: Nov 8, 2008

drat i am in for the livestream of this

go 2020 hellworld

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:15

Main Paineframe: Oct 27, 2010

Luneshot posted:

https://twitter.com/michaelrlowry/status/1298636105126944768?s=21

"unsurvivable storm surge"

they've sure got a way with words

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:30

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

if Laura had gone slightly to the left or slightly to the right this would be like 100x worse.

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:32

VectorSigma: Jan 20, 2004; Transform
and
Freak Out

storm surge incompatible with life

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:35

FlamingLiberal: Jan 18, 2009; Would you like to play a game?

I think it was the Katrina NHC forecast that was like �you will die if you stay in NO�

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:38

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

Lol cool I just got a text from my mom, one of her closest lifelong friends has a house in Brookeland TX and she's really worried about her friend

I pull up Brookeland on Google Maps and yup it's almost exactly going to be directly hit by Laura

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:40

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

shirts and skins posted:

loving hell

https://twitter.com/NWSHouston/status/1298626971652493312?s=19

Water level is already rising

https://twitter.com/BrennanMatherne/status/1298594141249699840?s=19

lol eat poo poo golden meadow

loving bullshit rear end speedtrap town

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:41

George H.W. Cunt: Oct 6, 2010

I was just at Sea Rim State Park a few weeks ago and got devoured by mosquitoes. I�m glad they are going to drown now.

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:42

Spoondick: Jun 9, 2000

the live minnows and shrimp are all like "later fuckers"

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:42

FlamingLiberal: Jan 18, 2009; Would you like to play a game?

SKULL.GIF posted:

Lol cool I just got a text from my mom, one of her closest lifelong friends has a house in Brookeland TX and she's really worried about her friend

I pull up Brookeland on Google Maps and yup it's almost exactly going to be directly hit by Laura

They need to leave now

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:43

fits my needs: Jan 1, 2011; Grimey Drawer

Spoondick posted:

the live minnows and shrimp are all like "later fuckers"

nature is healing

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:43

Source4Leko: Jul 25, 2007; Dinosaur Gum

FlamingLiberal posted:

I think it was the Katrina NHC forecast that was like ‘you will die if you stay in NO’

Its always a good time to post that warning:

000 WWUS74 KLIX 282139 NPWLIX URGENT - WEATHER MESSAGE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE NEW ORLEANS LA 413 PM CDT SUN AUG 28 2005 ...EXTREMELY DANGEROUS HURRICANE KATRINA CONTINUES TO APPROACH THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER DELTA... ...DEVASTATING DAMAGE EXPECTED... MOST OF THE AREA WILL BE UNINHABITABLE FOR WEEKS...PERHAPS LONGER. AT LEAST ONE HALF OF WELL CONSTRUCTED HOMES WILL HAVE ROOF AND WALL FAILURE. ALL GABLED ROOFS WILL FAIL...LEAVING THOSE HOMES SEVERELY DAMAGED OR DESTROYED. THE MAJORITY OF INDUSTRIAL BUILDINGS WILL BECOME NON FUNCTIONAL. PARTIAL TO COMPLETE WALL AND ROOF FAILURE IS EXPECTED. ALL WOOD FRAMED LOW RISING APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL BE DESTROYED. CONCRETE BLOCK LOW RISE APARTMENTS WILL SUSTAIN MAJOR DAMAGE...INCLUDING SOME WALL AND ROOF FAILURE. HIGH RISE OFFICE AND APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL SWAY DANGEROUSLY...A FEW TO THE POINT OF TOTAL COLLAPSE. ALL WINDOWS WILL BLOW OUT. AIRBORNE DEBRIS WILL BE WIDESPREAD...AND MAY INCLUDE HEAVY ITEMS SUCH AS HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES AND EVEN LIGHT VEHICLES. SPORT UTILITY VEHICLES AND LIGHT TRUCKS WILL BE MOVED. THE BLOWN DEBRIS WILL CREATE ADDITIONAL DESTRUCTION. PERSONS...PETS...AND LIVESTOCK EXPOSED TO THE WINDS WILL FACE CERTAIN DEATH IF STRUCK. POWER OUTAGES WILL LAST FOR WEEKS...AS MOST POWER POLES WILL BE DOWN AND TRANSFORMERS DESTROYED. WATER SHORTAGES WILL MAKE HUMAN SUFFERING INCREDIBLE BY MODERN STANDARDS. THE VAST MAJORITY OF NATIVE TREES WILL BE SNAPPED OR UPROOTED. ONLY THE HEARTIEST WILL REMAIN STANDING...BUT BE TOTALLY DEFOLIATED. FEW CROPS WILL REMAIN. LIVESTOCK LEFT EXPOSED TO THE WINDS WILL BE KILLED. AN INLAND HURRICANE WIND WATCH IS ISSUED WHEN SUSTAINED WINDS NEAR HURRICANE FORCE...OR FREQUENT GUSTS AT OR ABOVE HURRICANE FORCE...ARE POSSIBLE WITHIN THE NEXT 24 TO 36 HOURS. LAZ038-040-050-056>070-MSZ080>082-290300- ASSUMPTION-HANCOCK-HARRISON-JACKSON-LIVINGSTON-LOWER JEFFERSON- LOWER LAFOURCHE-LOWER PLAQUEMINES-LOWER ST. BERNARD-LOWER TERREBONNE- ORLEANS-ST. CHARLES-ST. JAMES-ST. JOHN THE BAPTIST-ST. TAMMANY- TANGIPAHOA-UPPER JEFFERSON-UPPER LAFOURCHE-UPPER PLAQUEMINES- UPPER ST. BERNARD-UPPER TERREBONNE- 413 PM CDT SUN AUG 28 2005 ...INLAND HURRICANE WIND WARNING IS IN EFFECT... HURRICANE KATRINA CONTINUES TO APPROACH THE AREA. TROPICAL STORM FORCE WINDS ARE CURRENTLY MOVING INTO THE COASTAL MARSHES AND WILL PERSIST FOR THE NEXT 26 TO 28 HOURS. HURRICANE FORCE WINDS WILL ONSET AROUND MIDNIGHT NEAR THE COAST AND BY 3 AM CLOSER TO THE NEW ORLEANS METRO AREA AND PERSIST FOR 9 TO 15 HOURS. MAXIMUM WIND GUSTS AROUND 175 MPH ARE LIKELY IN THE WARNED AREA BY DAYBREAK MONDAY. DO NOT VENTURE OUTDOORS ONCE TROPICAL STORM FORCE WINDS ONSET! $$ LAZ034>037-039-046>049-MSZ068>071-077-290300- AMITE-ASCENSION-EAST BATON ROUGE-EAST FELICIANA-IBERVILLE- PEARL RIVER-PIKE-POINTE COUPEE-ST. HELENA-WALTHALL-WASHINGTON- WEST BATON ROUGE-WEST FELICIANA-WILKINSON- 413 PM CDT SUN AUG 28 2005 ...INLAND HURRICANE WIND WARNING IS IN EFFECT... HURRICANE KATRINA CONTINUES TO APPROACH THE AREA. TROPICAL STORM FORCE WINDS ARE CURRENTLY MOVING INTO THE COASTAL MARSHES AND WILL SREAD NORTHWESTWARD INTO THE GREATER BATON ROUGE AREA AND SOUTHWEST MISSISSIPPI LATER THIS EVENING. TROPICAL STORM FORCE WINDS ARE EXPECTED TO ONSET AROUND 9 PM TONIGHT AND PERSIST FOR 22 TO 26 HOURS. HURRICANE FORCE WINDS WILL ONSET AROUND DAYBREAK AND PERSIST FOR ABOUT 5 TO 10 HOURS. MAXIMUM WIND GUSTS OF 80 TO 90 MPH ARE POSSIBLE IN EAST-CENTRAL LOUISIANA AND SOUTHWEST MISSISSIPPI. DO NOT VENTURE OUTDOORS ONCE TROPICAL STORM FORCE WINDS ONSET! $$

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:49

actionjackson: Jan 12, 2003

today is my nine year greyhound adoption anniversary!

why do I mention this here? Because this is at least the third time it has aligned with the arrival of a major hurricane - Irene the year I got here, Harvey a few years ago, and now Laura.

She woke me up at 6 am to watch the Irene coverage the first morning after getting her :mad:

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:53

The Glumslinger: Sep 24, 2008; Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?; Hair Elf

Now post the fake one that we all love

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:53

Real hurthling!: Sep 11, 2001

double $$ is a cool sig

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:53

shirts and skins: Jun 25, 2007; Good morning!

Katrina could have been so much worse. It was an absolute monster Cat 5 that seemed directly trained on NOLA, but it dipped to a Cat 3 and veered slightly east right before it made landfall. Of course, people were expecting flooding from the storm surge and not from the rain weakening the levees.

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:56

Acelerion: May 3, 2005

George H.W. oval office posted:

I was just at Sea Rim State Park a few weeks ago and got devoured by mosquitoes. I�m glad they are going to drown now.

They just float around and come out 10x worse after these things. With Harvey we had to use replant indoors for about a week

# ? Aug 26, 2020 16:58

Bashez: Jul 19, 2004

My relative is about 30 feet above ground, he can't really drive himself. Hopefully Emergency services are still around. The guy we expected to be considering him decided to evacuate last night without saying anything.

# ? Aug 26, 2020 17:02

feller: Jul 5, 2006

Source4Leko posted:

Its always a good time to post that warning:

000 WWUS74 KLIX 282139 NPWLIX URGENT - WEATHER MESSAGE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE NEW ORLEANS LA 413 PM CDT SUN AUG 28 2005 ...EXTREMELY DANGEROUS HURRICANE KATRINA CONTINUES TO APPROACH THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER DELTA... ...DEVASTATING DAMAGE EXPECTED... MOST OF THE AREA WILL BE UNINHABITABLE FOR WEEKS...PERHAPS LONGER. AT LEAST ONE HALF OF WELL CONSTRUCTED HOMES WILL HAVE ROOF AND WALL FAILURE. ALL GABLED ROOFS WILL FAIL...LEAVING THOSE HOMES SEVERELY DAMAGED OR DESTROYED. THE MAJORITY OF INDUSTRIAL BUILDINGS WILL BECOME NON FUNCTIONAL. PARTIAL TO COMPLETE WALL AND ROOF FAILURE IS EXPECTED. ALL WOOD FRAMED LOW RISING APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL BE DESTROYED. CONCRETE BLOCK LOW RISE APARTMENTS WILL SUSTAIN MAJOR DAMAGE...INCLUDING SOME WALL AND ROOF FAILURE. HIGH RISE OFFICE AND APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL SWAY DANGEROUSLY...A FEW TO THE POINT OF TOTAL COLLAPSE. ALL WINDOWS WILL BLOW OUT. AIRBORNE DEBRIS WILL BE WIDESPREAD...AND MAY INCLUDE HEAVY ITEMS SUCH AS HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES AND EVEN LIGHT VEHICLES. SPORT UTILITY VEHICLES AND LIGHT TRUCKS WILL BE MOVED. THE BLOWN DEBRIS WILL CREATE ADDITIONAL DESTRUCTION. PERSONS...PETS...AND LIVESTOCK EXPOSED TO THE WINDS WILL FACE CERTAIN DEATH IF STRUCK. POWER OUTAGES WILL LAST FOR WEEKS...AS MOST POWER POLES WILL BE DOWN AND TRANSFORMERS DESTROYED. WATER SHORTAGES WILL MAKE HUMAN SUFFERING INCREDIBLE BY MODERN STANDARDS. THE VAST MAJORITY OF NATIVE TREES WILL BE SNAPPED OR UPROOTED. ONLY THE HEARTIEST WILL REMAIN STANDING...BUT BE TOTALLY DEFOLIATED. FEW CROPS WILL REMAIN. LIVESTOCK LEFT EXPOSED TO THE WINDS WILL BE KILLED. AN INLAND HURRICANE WIND WATCH IS ISSUED WHEN SUSTAINED WINDS NEAR HURRICANE FORCE...OR FREQUENT GUSTS AT OR ABOVE HURRICANE FORCE...ARE POSSIBLE WITHIN THE NEXT 24 TO 36 HOURS. LAZ038-040-050-056>070-MSZ080>082-290300- ASSUMPTION-HANCOCK-HARRISON-JACKSON-LIVINGSTON-LOWER JEFFERSON- LOWER LAFOURCHE-LOWER PLAQUEMINES-LOWER ST. BERNARD-LOWER TERREBONNE- ORLEANS-ST. CHARLES-ST. JAMES-ST. JOHN THE BAPTIST-ST. TAMMANY- TANGIPAHOA-UPPER JEFFERSON-UPPER LAFOURCHE-UPPER PLAQUEMINES- UPPER ST. BERNARD-UPPER TERREBONNE- 413 PM CDT SUN AUG 28 2005 ...INLAND HURRICANE WIND WARNING IS IN EFFECT... HURRICANE KATRINA CONTINUES TO APPROACH THE AREA. TROPICAL STORM FORCE WINDS ARE CURRENTLY MOVING INTO THE COASTAL MARSHES AND WILL PERSIST FOR THE NEXT 26 TO 28 HOURS. HURRICANE FORCE WINDS WILL ONSET AROUND MIDNIGHT NEAR THE COAST AND BY 3 AM CLOSER TO THE NEW ORLEANS METRO AREA AND PERSIST FOR 9 TO 15 HOURS. MAXIMUM WIND GUSTS AROUND 175 MPH ARE LIKELY IN THE WARNED AREA BY DAYBREAK MONDAY. DO NOT VENTURE OUTDOORS ONCE TROPICAL STORM FORCE WINDS ONSET! $$ LAZ034>037-039-046>049-MSZ068>071-077-290300- AMITE-ASCENSION-EAST BATON ROUGE-EAST FELICIANA-IBERVILLE- PEARL RIVER-PIKE-POINTE COUPEE-ST. HELENA-WALTHALL-WASHINGTON- WEST BATON ROUGE-WEST FELICIANA-WILKINSON- 413 PM CDT SUN AUG 28 2005 ...INLAND HURRICANE WIND WARNING IS IN EFFECT... HURRICANE KATRINA CONTINUES TO APPROACH THE AREA. TROPICAL STORM FORCE WINDS ARE CURRENTLY MOVING INTO THE COASTAL MARSHES AND WILL SREAD NORTHWESTWARD INTO THE GREATER BATON ROUGE AREA AND SOUTHWEST MISSISSIPPI LATER THIS EVENING. TROPICAL STORM FORCE WINDS ARE EXPECTED TO ONSET AROUND 9 PM TONIGHT AND PERSIST FOR 22 TO 26 HOURS. HURRICANE FORCE WINDS WILL ONSET AROUND DAYBREAK AND PERSIST FOR ABOUT 5 TO 10 HOURS. MAXIMUM WIND GUSTS OF 80 TO 90 MPH ARE POSSIBLE IN EAST-CENTRAL LOUISIANA AND SOUTHWEST MISSISSIPPI. DO NOT VENTURE OUTDOORS ONCE TROPICAL STORM FORCE WINDS ONSET! $$

# ? Aug 26, 2020 17:02

Amp: Sep 10, 2010

Source4Leko posted:

Its always a good time to post that warning:

000 WWUS74 KLIX 282139 NPWLIX URGENT - WEATHER MESSAGE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE NEW ORLEANS LA 413 PM CDT SUN AUG 28 2005 ...EXTREMELY DANGEROUS HURRICANE KATRINA CONTINUES TO APPROACH THE MISSISSIPPI RIVER DELTA... ...DEVASTATING DAMAGE EXPECTED... MOST OF THE AREA WILL BE UNINHABITABLE FOR WEEKS...PERHAPS LONGER. AT LEAST ONE HALF OF WELL CONSTRUCTED HOMES WILL HAVE ROOF AND WALL FAILURE. ALL GABLED ROOFS WILL FAIL...LEAVING THOSE HOMES SEVERELY DAMAGED OR DESTROYED. THE MAJORITY OF INDUSTRIAL BUILDINGS WILL BECOME NON FUNCTIONAL. PARTIAL TO COMPLETE WALL AND ROOF FAILURE IS EXPECTED. ALL WOOD FRAMED LOW RISING APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL BE DESTROYED. CONCRETE BLOCK LOW RISE APARTMENTS WILL SUSTAIN MAJOR DAMAGE...INCLUDING SOME WALL AND ROOF FAILURE. HIGH RISE OFFICE AND APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL SWAY DANGEROUSLY...A FEW TO THE POINT OF TOTAL COLLAPSE. ALL WINDOWS WILL BLOW OUT. AIRBORNE DEBRIS WILL BE WIDESPREAD...AND MAY INCLUDE HEAVY ITEMS SUCH AS HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES AND EVEN LIGHT VEHICLES. SPORT UTILITY VEHICLES AND LIGHT TRUCKS WILL BE MOVED. THE BLOWN DEBRIS WILL CREATE ADDITIONAL DESTRUCTION. PERSONS...PETS...AND LIVESTOCK EXPOSED TO THE WINDS WILL FACE CERTAIN DEATH IF STRUCK. POWER OUTAGES WILL LAST FOR WEEKS...AS MOST POWER POLES WILL BE DOWN AND TRANSFORMERS DESTROYED. WATER SHORTAGES WILL MAKE HUMAN SUFFERING INCREDIBLE BY MODERN STANDARDS. THE VAST MAJORITY OF NATIVE TREES WILL BE SNAPPED OR UPROOTED. ONLY THE HEARTIEST WILL REMAIN STANDING...BUT BE TOTALLY DEFOLIATED. FEW CROPS WILL REMAIN. LIVESTOCK LEFT EXPOSED TO THE WINDS WILL BE KILLED. AN INLAND HURRICANE WIND WATCH IS ISSUED WHEN SUSTAINED WINDS NEAR HURRICANE FORCE...OR FREQUENT GUSTS AT OR ABOVE HURRICANE FORCE...ARE POSSIBLE WITHIN THE NEXT 24 TO 36 HOURS. LAZ038-040-050-056>070-MSZ080>082-290300- ASSUMPTION-HANCOCK-HARRISON-JACKSON-LIVINGSTON-LOWER JEFFERSON- LOWER LAFOURCHE-LOWER PLAQUEMINES-LOWER ST. BERNARD-LOWER TERREBONNE- ORLEANS-ST. CHARLES-ST. JAMES-ST. JOHN THE BAPTIST-ST. TAMMANY- TANGIPAHOA-UPPER JEFFERSON-UPPER LAFOURCHE-UPPER PLAQUEMINES- UPPER ST. BERNARD-UPPER TERREBONNE- 413 PM CDT SUN AUG 28 2005 ...INLAND HURRICANE WIND WARNING IS IN EFFECT... HURRICANE KATRINA CONTINUES TO APPROACH THE AREA. TROPICAL STORM FORCE WINDS ARE CURRENTLY MOVING INTO THE COASTAL MARSHES AND WILL PERSIST FOR THE NEXT 26 TO 28 HOURS. HURRICANE FORCE WINDS WILL ONSET AROUND MIDNIGHT NEAR THE COAST AND BY 3 AM CLOSER TO THE NEW ORLEANS METRO AREA AND PERSIST FOR 9 TO 15 HOURS. MAXIMUM WIND GUSTS AROUND 175 MPH ARE LIKELY IN THE WARNED AREA BY DAYBREAK MONDAY. DO NOT VENTURE OUTDOORS ONCE TROPICAL STORM FORCE WINDS ONSET! $$ LAZ034>037-039-046>049-MSZ068>071-077-290300- AMITE-ASCENSION-EAST BATON ROUGE-EAST FELICIANA-IBERVILLE- PEARL RIVER-PIKE-POINTE COUPEE-ST. HELENA-WALTHALL-WASHINGTON- WEST BATON ROUGE-WEST FELICIANA-WILKINSON- 413 PM CDT SUN AUG 28 2005 ...INLAND HURRICANE WIND WARNING IS IN EFFECT... HURRICANE KATRINA CONTINUES TO APPROACH THE AREA. TROPICAL STORM FORCE WINDS ARE CURRENTLY MOVING INTO THE COASTAL MARSHES AND WILL SREAD NORTHWESTWARD INTO THE GREATER BATON ROUGE AREA AND SOUTHWEST MISSISSIPPI LATER THIS EVENING. TROPICAL STORM FORCE WINDS ARE EXPECTED TO ONSET AROUND 9 PM TONIGHT AND PERSIST FOR 22 TO 26 HOURS. HURRICANE FORCE WINDS WILL ONSET AROUND DAYBREAK AND PERSIST FOR ABOUT 5 TO 10 HOURS. MAXIMUM WIND GUSTS OF 80 TO 90 MPH ARE POSSIBLE IN EAST-CENTRAL LOUISIANA AND SOUTHWEST MISSISSIPPI. DO NOT VENTURE OUTDOORS ONCE TROPICAL STORM FORCE WINDS ONSET! $$

It has it's own Wikipedia page too

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Weather_Service_bulletin_for_Hurricane_Katrina

# ? Aug 26, 2020 17:05

Iron Crowned: May 6, 2003; by Hand Knit

SKULL.GIF posted:

if Laura had gone slightly to the left or slightly to the right this would be like 100x worse.

There's still time!

# ? Aug 26, 2020 17:21

PostNouveau: Sep 3, 2011; VY till I die; Grimey Drawer

SKULL.GIF posted:

if Laura had gone slightly to the left or slightly to the right this would be like 100x worse.

Yeah it really hit a sweet spot. Still gonna gently caress up a bunch of people though.

# ? Aug 26, 2020 17:30

shame on an IGA: Apr 8, 2005

This is one of the more bonechilling NWS text products and definitely the shortest forecast discussion I've ever seen

code:



000
FXUS64 KLCH 261109
AFDLCH

Area Forecast Discussion
National Weather Service Lake Charles LA
609 AM CDT Wed Aug 26 2020

.DISCUSSION...All eyes on Laura as the storm continues to
intensify. Models remain clustered in a landfall over southwest
Louisiana or the upper Texas coast tonight as a major hurricane.
Warnings are out. Be safe.

&&

# ? Aug 26, 2020 17:34

snoo: Jul 5, 2007

The Glumslinger posted:

Now post the fake one that we all love

# ? Aug 26, 2020 17:37

Source4Leko: Jul 25, 2007; Dinosaur Gum

ShallNoiseUpon posted:

It has it's own Wikipedia page too

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Weather_Service_bulletin_for_Hurricane_Katrina

I hope the guy who wrote that had some good scotch or whatever to drink immediately after pressing send on that message.

# ? Aug 26, 2020 17:50

Main Paineframe: Oct 27, 2010

The Glumslinger posted:

Now post the fake one that we all love

quote:

HURRICANE IKE FINAL ADVISORY NUMBER 666
NWS TPC/NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER MIAMI FL
0200 AM SUN SEP 14 2008

A MASSIVE HURRICANE, NEY, A TITANIC BLACK MASS OF DESTRUCTION, BORN OF THE COLD, EVIL WOMB OF MOTHER NATURE, WILL RENDER MUCH OF COASTAL AND INLAND TEXAS A BARREN WASTELAND. IKE IS COMING.

SUCH IS THE POWER OF THIS STORM, IF INDEED, ANYTHING DISPENSING THIS AMOUNT OF HUMAN SUFFERING CAN BE CALLED A STORM.

THE STORM SURGE, ONCE PREDICTED AT 17 FEET, WILL NOW REACH UNHEARD OF HEIGHTS. IF WILL BE AS IF THE OCEAN ITSELF HAS VACATED ITS VAST PRISON, SHAKING LOOSE ITS CHAINS, AND LAYING ITSELF PRONE ATOP THE CITIES OF MAN. THE LAST VESTIGES OF ITS BONDAGE SINKING ALL THAT LIES IN ITS PATH.

ALL STRUCTURES WITHIN A 100 MILE RADIUS WILL SUFFER DEVASTATING EFFECTS. WOOD WILL SPLINTER, CONCRETE WILL BECOME DUST. THE FOUNDATIONS WILL BE THE STARK REMNANTS OF HUMAN EXISTENCE IN THESE AREAS. TREES WILL BECOME UPROOTED AND CARRIED MILES BY WINDS THAT WILL BLAST THE VERY SKIN FROM ANYONE FOOLISH ENOUGH TO REMAIN OUTSIDE. BUT THEY WILL BE THE LUCKY ONES...THE FIRST TO DIE. FOR A MUCH GREATER MISERY AWAITS THOSE THAT SURVIVE.

AMIDST THIS MIRE OF CARNAGE, THE FEW SURVIVORS WILL WALLOW IN A SOUP OF DEATH AND DESPAIR, AS THEY FACE GRIM ODDS. FEW STRUCTURES WILL EXIST, AND FOOD AND WATER WILL BE MORE PRECIOUS THAN GOLD. AS CORPSES OF HUMANS AND ANIMALS ROT, DYSENTERY AND MALARIA WILL BEGIN THEIR MACABRE DANCE AMONG THOSE REMAINING AND MANY WILL BE FORCED TO CONSUME ONE ANOTHER TO LIVE ONE FINAL DAY.

ENTIRE GENERATIONS WILL PERISH, AND THE HURRICANE WILL CREEP INTO LEGEND. IT WILL BE A SIN TO EVEN CALL ITS NAME ALOUD, THE VERY EXISTENCE OF THIS EVENT BEING SPOKEN OF IN HUSHED TONES, AND REVERED BY THOSE WHO SEE IT AS JUDGMENT. IKE IS HERE. IKE IS HERE. IKE IS HERE. IKE IS HERE. IKE IS H