Let's Read Animorphs! The Whole Series! Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

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Gnoman: Feb 12, 2014; Come, all you fair and tender maids
Who flourish in your pri-ime
Beware, take care, keep your garden fair
Let Gnoman steal your thy-y-me
Le-et Gnoman steal your thyme

Somehow the most striking part of that cover is Tobias just kind of there. Almost looks like some weird kid stuck a bird sticker on it.

# ? Aug 28, 2020 03:32

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# ? May 23, 2024 03:41

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Gnoman posted:

Somehow the most striking part of that cover is Tobias just kind of there. Almost looks like some weird kid stuck a bird sticker on it.

I mean, to be fair, that was true of the story too.

# ? Aug 28, 2020 03:36

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

I'm sure, when I first started reading this series, I assumed there'd be One Weird Trick to whack the Yeerks and free the earth, with no nasty consequences. But as far as I can see there are no silver bullets for Yeerks; even wrecking the kandrona results in lots of unpleasant consequences of the crazy-forest-lady variety.
So yeah, it's kind of nice to have an animorphs-themed monster of the week that can be dealt with by a silver bullet!

# ? Aug 28, 2020 03:46

disaster pastor: May 1, 2007

Epicurius posted:

I mean, to be fair, that was true of the story too.

I haven't thought about this in two decades, but one of my friends who read the books at the same time I did had a weird theory that Tobias had actually died in the Yeerk pool, and his books were a figment of Rachel's imagination because she was in denial. This theory fell apart quickly (since the others obviously talk about Tobias in their own books), but he didn't want to give it up, so he adjusted it to none of them wanting to admit Tobias was dead, so they were all pretending he was around and never discussing the truth.

That stupid theory combined with your post and now I can only imagine everyone gathering in Cassie's barn and refusing to look at each other or say anything until Rachel puts up the bird sticker.

# ? Aug 28, 2020 03:51

cptn_dr: Sep 7, 2011; Seven for beauty that blossoms and dies

The cover is Ax erasure and that's the biggest failing of the book imo

# ? Aug 28, 2020 04:01

nine-gear crow: Aug 10, 2013

cptn_dr posted:

The cover is Ax erasure and that's the biggest failing of the book imo

It wouldn't surprise me if David Mattingly broke out into a cold sweat every time he had to do and Ax cover for sheer complexity reasons :v:

# ? Aug 28, 2020 04:28

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

Speaking of covers, I forgot how much I dug the second cut-away cover behind the first as a kid. It like a little peek at a scene later in the book and sometimes they'd be boring (like, a cat in a room) and sometimes you'd be like "oh some poo poo's gonna go down" - i.e. from memory the interior cover for book #7 is the elevator opening with all of them in battle morph inside.

# ? Aug 28, 2020 04:47

Terror Sweat: Mar 15, 2009

freebooter posted:

Speaking of covers, I forgot how much I dug the second cut-away cover behind the first as a kid. It like a little peek at a scene later in the book and sometimes they'd be boring (like, a cat in a room) and sometimes you'd be like "oh some poo poo's gonna go down" - i.e. from memory the interior cover for book #7 is the elevator opening with all of them in battle morph inside.

The howler one was dope

# ? Aug 28, 2020 05:19

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Animorphs #8 The Alien, Prologue

quote:

Before Earth . . .

<Prepare for return to normal space,> Captain Nerefir said in thought-speak.

I was on the bridge of our Dome ship. It was an amazing moment. I had never been on the bridge before. I'd always been stuck in my quarters, or up in the dome. It was an honor to be on the battle bridge with the full warriors, the princes, and the captain himself.

It was because I was Elfangor's little brother. An aristh like me, a warrior-cadet, wouldn't have been on the bridge otherwise.

Especially not an aristh who had once run into Captain Nerefir so hard he'd fallen over and ended up bruising one of his eye stalks. It was an accident, but still, it's just not a good idea for lowly cadets to go plowing into great heroes.

But everyone loved Elfangor, so they had to tolerate me. That's the story of my life. If I live two hundred years, I'll probably still be known as Elfangor's little brother.

We came out of Z-space or Zero-space, a realm of white emptiness, back into normal space.

Through the monitors I saw nothing but blackness dotted with stars. And there, just ahead of us, no more than a half-million miles away, was a small, mostly blue planet.

<Is that Earth?> I asked Elfangor. 

<Aximili, shut up!> Elfangor said quickly. He looked slightly sick and cast a dubious glance at Captain Nerefir.

I guess I had been thought-speaking a little loudly. Elfangor was worried that War-Prince Nerefir might have overheard. But I was sure I hadn't been that loud. I mean, I really didn't think that -

<Old Hoof and Tail, eh?> Captain Nerefir said. <Is that what they call me?>

Elfangor shot me a poisonous look. <I'm sure this aristh didn't mean any disrespect.>

I think my brother would have liked to throw me out of the nearest airlock right at that moment.

Slowly Nerefir turned his two main eyes to ward me. He was a frightening old Andalite. A great warrior. A great hero. Elfangor's idol. <Ah, it's the ruffian. The wild brat who knocked me over.> He nodded. <Old Hoof and Tail, is it? Well. I kind of like the name.> He slowly winked one eye at Elfangor.

See, I told you this book it was better! It's an Ax book, not just the three chapters we saw him in last book. And not just that, we're seeing him briefly, surrounded by adults where he's feeling awkward and useless. We also get to see his relationship with his brother, which is kind of adorable.

quote:

Suddenly . . .

<Yeerks! We have a Yeerk mother ship in orbit over the planet!> the warrior at the sensor station cried.

<They're launching fighters! I count twelve Yeerk Bug fighters,> another warrior cried.

<They're on an intercept course. They'll be in firing range in twelve Earth minutes.>

Captain Nerefir turned his face and his main eyes toward my brother, while his stalk eyes kept watch on the monitors. The humor was gone from his face. <Prince Elfangor? It is time. Launch all fighters.>

But Elfangor hadn't waited for orders. He was already halfway out the door. My tail banged into the doorway as I plowed after him.

<Get to the dome, Aximili,> Elfangor said.

<But I want to fight!> I said. 

<Do not argue with me, Aximili. Arisths do not go into battle. You are not a full warrior yet. Go to the dome. You will be safer there.>

 I said. But a warrior, even a warrior-cadet, has to obey orders.

Elfangor was my brother. He was also my prince.

I could hear the thought-speak announcements coming from the bridge:

<Yeerk Bug fighters closing fast.>

<We are entering the outer-gravitational field of the planet.>

Elfangor and I came to a pair of drop shafts. Warriors were zooming down, heading for the fighter bays. I would have to go up to reach the dome. The upward drop shaft was empty.

It made me angry. Everyone was fighting but me. When it was all over, Elfangor would be even more of a big hero, and I would still be the little brother. The child.

Ohh, poor kid who doesn't understand the irony.

quote:

Elfangor hesitated for just a moment before rushing on. He arched his tail forward. I reached forward with my own tail, arching it up over my back. We touched tail blades.

<You'll have your chance to fight, Aximili,> my brother said. <Very soon your fighter will fly side by side with mine. But not in this battle.>

<Yes, my prince,> I said, sounding very stiff and formal. But as he turned to enter the dropshaft, I couldn't let him go thinking I was mad at him. I said, <Hey, Elfangor? Go burn some slugs.>

<That's the plan, little brother,> he said with a laugh. <That is the plan.>

It was the last I saw of him.

He disappeared down the drop shaft. I went upward to the great dome. The dome was the heart of our ship. It was a vast, round, open plain of grass and trees and running water from our home planet, all covered by a transparent dome.

I was alone there. The only non-warrior on the great ship. The only one without a battle to fight.

I could see the blue planet above me, hanging in a black sky. It had a moon, just a dead ball of dust. But the planet looked alive. I could see white clouds swirling. Its yellow sun's light sparkled off the vast oceans.

This planet was known to be inhabited by a reasonably intelligent species. We had learned a little about them in school.

My main eyes were drawn to the brilliant flares of engine exhaust as our fighters lanced toward the onrushing Yeerks.

I was far from the battle bridge now, beyond the range of their thought-speak. I heard nothing in my head. And my ears heard only the sound of a gentle, artificial breeze ruffling the leaves of the trees. I stood on blue-green grass and watched tiny pinpoints of light as the battle was joined in orbit above the blue planet.

And then ... I felt it. A tremor that rolled through my mind. A wave of coldness ... a premonition. Like a waking nightmare.

I turned my stalk eyes away from battle, to ward the dead moon of the blue planet. And there I saw it. A black shape against the gray- white light of the moon. A shape like some twisted battle-ax.

<Blade ship . . .> I whispered. <A Visser's Blade ship!>

Our fighters were all away. Our Dome ship had massive weapons, but the Blade ship was fast and maneuverable. Too fast!

The warriors on the battle bridge had no choice. They had to separate the dome in order to be able to fight. I felt a grinding, crunching sensation as the dome was released to drift free of the main line of the ship.

Then . . . silence as the dome floated free.

Slowly, the rest of my ship rotated into sight. Without the dome it looked like a long stick, with the huge bulge of engines on the far end, and the smaller bulge of the battle bridge in the middle. They were trying to turn to meet the Blade ship.

Too slow.

The Blade ship fired!

<NO!>

Dracon beams, bright as a sun, lanced through space.

The ship fired again. Again. Again.

An explosion of light! A silent explosion like a small sun going nova.

The ship ... my ship . . . blew up into its separate atoms. One huge flash of light, and a hundred Andalite warriors died.

WHUMMPPPFF!

The shock wave hit the dome. It was translated into sound. The grass beneath my hooves slammed up at me. A terrible rattling, shaking, heaving.

<Ahhhh!>

My knees buckled and I fell to the grass. Everything was spinning! Wildly, out of control! I could feel the artificial gravity weaken. The stabilizers had failed.

The dome was falling. Falling out of orbit.

The dome slid down the gravity well. Down to ward the blue planet. Red-hot glowing atmosphere turned the sky above me to fire. Emergency engines kicked in with a loud WHOOSH!, but they could only slow the descent, not stop it.

The dome hurtled at shocking speed down and down and down through the atmosphere. Down toward the sparkling sea. Crrr-UUUUUSSSSHHH!
The dome hit water! Boiling, steaming water

It rushed over the dome. I was sinking! Sinking beneath the ocean of the blue planet. I was powerless. Terrified.

Alone.

After an eternity, the dome crunched heavily onto the ocean floor. Looking up, I could barely see the surface of the water a hundred feet or more over the top of the dome.

I climbed shakily to my four hooves. I was standing on a vast, open plain that was a piece of my own planet. A blue-green park, hidden deep beneath an alien sea.

And there I waited for weeks. I sent out thought-speak cries to my brother. I knew he would save me ... if he still lived.

But in the end, it was not Elfangor who found me. It was five creatures from the planet. Five "humans," as they call themselves.

They were the ones who told me of Elfangor's last minutes of life. He had broken Andalite law and custom by giving these humans the power to morph. I was shocked, but tried to hide it.

And they had witnessed Elfangor's death. His cold-blooded murder, by the Yeerk overlord: Visser Three.

Visser Three, who slaughtered my helpless, wounded brother.

Visser Three, the only Yeerk ever to infest and control an Andalite body.

Visser Three, known to all Andalites as the Abomination. The only Andalite-Controller.

He had killed Elfangor, and I had inherited a terrible burden. By Andalite custom, I would be required to avenge my brother's death.

Someday I would have to kill Visser Three.

Buckle up. This is going to be good.

Chapter 1

quote:

The first thing an Andalite may notice about humans. is that they walk around on only two legs. It is very strange to see so many creatures balancing that way. But, despite this, they seldom fall over. - From the Earth Diary of Aximlli-Esgarrouth-Isthill

My full name is Aximlli-Esgarrouth-Isthill.

My human friends call me Ax. I am a young Andalite. I have four legs. I also have two arms. And I have a tail.

I am told that I look like a cross between a deer, a scorpion, and a human. I've seen deer in the woods, and I don't agree. For one thing, they have mouths and I don't. And they have only two eyes, while I have four.

As for scorpions, I've only seen pictures. There is some resemblance, when it comes to the tail. An Andalite tail is also curved upward and tipped by a very sharp blade.

As an Andalite, I have the power to morph. It's not something we're born with - it's a technology. But we invented it, and we are the only race in the galaxy that has it.

Except for my human friends, that is.

They can morph, too. But it's thanks to Andalite science. And thanks to the fact that my brother broke our own laws to give them this power.

The one great problem with morphing is the time limit: two Earth hours.

That time limit was the problem as my human friends and I set about on a particular mission.

It was a mission that required careful planning and careful timing. It was a mission full of risks.

We were going to a movie.

Jumping right into the mission this book.

quote:

"So, here's the deal, Ax," Marco explained. "You can watch the first hour of the movie. But that's it. We can get you to the mall theater, and you watch for an hour. Then we have to get you back to the woods to demorph."

A movie. Movies are an important part of human culture. I had decided, if I was stuck on Earth among these aliens, that I should at least learn about them. Maybe I would never be the big hero Elfangor was, but I could surely become the biggest expert on humans.

Of course, I would have to attend the movie in a morph. I couldn't go around in public in my own Andalite form. Humans would have been terrified. And the Controllers - those humans who are infested by the Yeerk parasites - would have tried to kill me.

Which would have ruined the entire movie experience.

I would have to morph. To take on a different body. But this particular morph was one I had done several times before. I didn't expect there to be any problems.

We were standing together under the camouflage of the forest where I now live. Prince Jake, Marco, Cassie, Rachel, and Tobias were all there. Although Tobias was some distance away.

"Okay, let's do this," Jake said, making sounds with his mouth to form words. He glanced at his watch. "Rachel? You have the backup plan ready? Where does Ax go if he needs an emergency demorph?"

Nice touch, there.

quote:

"The dressing rooms at Nordstrom's. They're big and private. Best dressing rooms in the mall. Cassie and I will be posted outside the theater, ready to rush him there if an emergency situation develops."

"And Rachel promises not to stop and shop in Junior Miss on the way," Cassie said, grinning.

Jake glanced up to the sky. Up above the tree-tops, a red-tailed hawk floated on a warm breeze. "Tobias!" Jake yelled.

<All clear,> Tobias called down in thought-speak. 

Tobias is a nothlit : a person trapped in a morph. It is what happens if you stay beyond the two-hour limit. Tobias is a human, but his body is that of a hawk. He has adjusted well to this bizarre new life. He lives in the forest with me.

For a long time I expected Tobias to ask me the question that must have haunted him day and night: whether it would ever be possible for him to escape his hawk body. But he never did. I guess he was afraid of the answer. So, I didn't volunteer one.

"Okay," Jake said. "Let's do it."

I began to morph. The first thing I felt was a slipping, melting, almost sickening feeling as my internal organs began to shift around. There was a scary little jolt as my second and third hearts stopped beating. I heard a grinding sound from inside my body as my spine began to shorten.

Soon I was in danger of falling on my face as my front legs shriveled. My arms grew thicker and stronger, but two fingers on each hand melted together to leave me with five-fingered hands.

My shoulders grew wider to support my large arms. And my hind legs grew sturdier as more of my weight was shifted onto them.

The stalks on my head began to retract, and as they did, my stalk eyes grew dimmer and dimmer, like someone turning off the light. Suddenly, they were gone and I only had two eyes.

I dislike that. Having just two eyes is so limiting. You can only look in one direction at a time. You can't even look behind you.

My spine continued to shorten. In fact, it sucked completely out of my tail, which left my tail as limp as a rope. Then the weak remnants of my tail simply withered away.

"Grab him, he's going to fail over," Prince Jake said.

He and Marco each took hold of me to keep me upright, as my front legs disappeared altogether.

"Hey, hey, clothing!" Rachel said, making a face. "Clothing. Don't forget the morphing suit, Ax."

As my body continued to change, my skintight morphing suit also appeared. It is a very difficult trick to be able to morph clothing. And all you can manage is something extremely tight.

"Are you done?" Prince Jake asked me.

I considered. I was standing precariously on two legs. I possessed two strong arms and ten strong fingers. I was mostly without fur. My eyes were weak and totally unable to see anything except what was in front of me. My hearing was good. My mind was functioning normally.

And I had a mouth.

"Yes," I said, using my mouth. "Yessss. Ssssss. Yes-suh. I am in human morph."

I had morphed into a human. The DNA came from samples I had long since acquired from Jake, Cassie, Rachel, and Marco. I would have liked to have Tobias's DNA, but that was not possible since he is a nothlit.

My human friends have some differences, but each has only two legs, two arms, and two eyes. They each have one mouth.

Prince Jake is large and pale in color with brown hair. Cassie is shorter and darker in color, with darker brown hair. Marco is also shorter and medium color, with long brown hair. Rachel is taller and pale and has yellow hair.

None of them has any sort of tail.

"This always makes my skin crawl," Marco said, staring at me in a sideways fashion. "It's like the four of us were run through a blender. I swear he has my eyes."

"What's gross is I'll look at him and think, 'Wow, is that guy cute,'" Rachel said. "Then I'll see something that looks like Cassie. Or worse, like me!"

"What? Rachel in love with her own looks?" Marco said, using an inflection of his mouth sounds that humans call sarcasm. Then he looked troubled. "I'm still not sure this is a good idea. The Controllers could - "

"Uh-uh," Prince Jake interrupted. "We're not talking about Controllers, Yeerks, or Vjsser Three. We are taking a break. We've fought one battle after another. We destroyed the Kandrona. We beat that Veleek monster of theirs. And now we are taking some well deserved vacation time. Ax wants to learn more about humans, so that's what we're doing."

I was never exactly a great student, but I could just imagine how my fellow Andalites would act when they finally rescued me. They'd ask, <So, Aximili, what did you learn about Earth?> And I'd have to say, <Um, well, not much.>

The trick would be to learn about the humans without letting them learn too much about Andalites. There were things I could never tell the humans. Things that might make them turn against me.

That's not ominous. Not at all.

quote:

"We should hit the Yeerks again while they're weak," Rachel growled. "We know the Yeerks won't get a new ground-based Kandrona for another week. They must still be starving for lack of Kandrona rays. We should hit them!"

Yeerks are a race of parasitic slugs. They live inside the brains of other species. They completely dominate the host body, making it a "Controller." There are Hork-Bajir-Controllers, Taxxon-Controllers, and more and more human-Controllers. Any human you know might be a Controller. There is no way to tell - unless you are an Andalite.

I sympathized with Rachel. But I also understood Prince Jake's caution. No warrior can fight all the time.

"Look, you guys," Prince Jake said. "We hurt the Yeerks. It was a good job. But we also know that they have a replacement Kandrona being set up, so don't assume they're weak. Besides, if they are weak, they sure haven't shown it. I expected to see Yeerks dying left and right, and former Controllers walking free again. Hasn't happened. Somehow they've maintained."

"We can't know what is going on with the Yeerks," Cassie pointed out. "Just because we haven't seen them suffer doesn't mean they haven't."

"Okay, look, here we are again, talking about Yeerks," Jake said impatiently. "We have just come from a very, very unpleasant battle. And we came very close to ending up dead. And it's not the first time. So we are going to relax and be normal. We are going to the movie. And we are going to have fun. And no one . . . Rachel ... is going to look for a fight."

"Don't you love it when he gets all forceful like that?" Marco said to Cassie. "He's just so Schwarzenegger sometimes."

"Okay, Ax," Jake said. "Time to get dressed."

"Prince Jake, I am already wearing this garment," I said, pointing to the thing that covered my body. "Wearing. Ing. Ing-uh."

It is an amazing sensation, making sounds with your mouth. Actual words are formed by vibrating your throat and positioning your tongue. But some sounds are better than others.

"Ing" is a wonderful sound to make.

"Don't call me 'Prince,'" Prince Jake said.

"Ax, you're dressed like an escapee from the Ice Capades," Marco said.

"You can't go out in public wearing tights and a spandex top," Rachel said. "It's a major fashion 'don't.' Here."

She handed me a bag. In the bag were items of clothing. It took several minutes for me to dress successfully. There is a lot to remember, and every bit of clothing can only go on one way. Socks go on the feet and not on the hands, for example.

When I was done, they all stared at me. Even Tobias flew down to stare.

"Rachel, he looks like he's going to the country club to play polo," Marco said. "I knew we shouldn't let you pick the clothes. He's like a bully magnet. Even I want to beat him up."

"It's a classic look," Rachel said angrily. "Like you're Mister Fashion? A person who dresses like Beavis?"

"I think he looks cute," Cassie said.

<Well, that's the kiss of death,> Tobias remarked from his perch in the tree above.

"It is?" I asked.

<Just an expression, Ax-man,> Tobias said. <You'll have fun.>

Ax-man. That's what Tobias calls me some times.

"Come on, Ax," Prince Jake said, smiling. "Let's do this. If anyone tries to beat you up, we'll protect you."

An Ax book! And the promise of a movie! I'm looking forward to this one. I like it.

So, lets talk TV show and the way Ax was portrayed on there. Like I think I mentioned before, the show was pretty low budget. They had an Andalite puppet, but it was really bad, and usually when when it was on screen, the screen was dark so you couldn't see how bad it was. So, as with Visser-Three, Ax was usually portrayed as a human. He was played by Paulo Costanzo, an Ontarian of Italian descent, and is probably, after Shawn Ashmore, the one who probably made it best in TV and films.

His first big hit was probably the 2000 film Road Trip, which is about these four friends who travel across the country to steal back a sex tape that one of them accidentally sent to their girlfriend. He was in a bunch of bad film comedies, including 40 Days and 40 Nights, about somebody trying to not masturbate for 40 days, Josie and the Pussiecats, based on the Archie Comics characters, and Dr. Doolittle 3, where he was the voice of a chicken.

However, if you know him, it's probably for his TV roles. He was in the Friends spinoff/Matt LaBlanc vehicle "Joey", as Joey's son. was in the USA Network's "Royal Pains", as one of the two main characters, was in the first four episodes of the show "The Expanse", until his character was killed off, was in the HBO short drama "The Night Of", as the victim's financial advisor, and was in the second season of the ABC show Designated Survivor, as the White House Political Director.

# ? Aug 29, 2020 00:51

Gnoman: Feb 12, 2014; Come, all you fair and tender maids
Who flourish in your pri-ime
Beware, take care, keep your garden fair
Let Gnoman steal your thy-y-me
Le-et Gnoman steal your thyme

The notion of going through all this trouble to go to a movie theater feels kind of quaint today.

# ? Aug 29, 2020 01:16

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Gnoman posted:

The notion of going through all this trouble to go to a movie theater feels kind of quaint today.

I mean, today, at least, the notion of going to a movie theater is like some strange impossible dream. But point taken. Of course, a lot of the reason they have to go to all this trouble is because of Ax's special circumstances and their 2 hour limit, and that challenge is there wherever they go. But beyond that, Ax wants to see how people actually live, and he can't do that in the woods or Cassie's barn, even if they can watch a VHS movie in there. So,. there's also that additional desire to be around humans and learn to understand them.

# ? Aug 29, 2020 01:44

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Also I imagine doing all this planning as if it's a real mission when there isn't actually really anything at stake is cathartic as hell.

# ? Aug 29, 2020 01:47

disaster pastor: May 1, 2007

Yay, back to a good book! And one that will give us a lot more to talk about!

# ? Aug 29, 2020 02:06

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Note: most of what we talk about will be how much Ax rules.

# ? Aug 29, 2020 02:11

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

SirSamVimes posted:

Note: most of what we talk about will be how much Ax rules.

Spoiler: He rules A LOT.

# ? Aug 29, 2020 02:23

Kazzah: Jul 15, 2011; Formerly known as
Krazyface; Hair Elf

Joey had a SON?

# ? Aug 29, 2020 02:31

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

"And that would ruin the entire movie experience" is the best line so far.

Also, regarding the Andalite leader nicknamed "Old Hoof and Tail"- wasn't there a WW2 general nicknamed "Old Tooth and Nail"? I'm sure I remember reading that somewhere, but my googling is weak.

# ? Aug 29, 2020 02:45

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Krazyface posted:

Joey had a SON?

I'm sorry, I got it wrong.. It's his nephew.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUxZdGjh3Sg

Epicurius fucked around with this message at 02:51 on Aug 29, 2020

# ? Aug 29, 2020 02:46

Gnoman: Feb 12, 2014; Come, all you fair and tender maids
Who flourish in your pri-ime
Beware, take care, keep your garden fair
Let Gnoman steal your thy-y-me
Le-et Gnoman steal your thyme

Tree Bucket posted:

"And that would ruin the entire movie experience" is the best line so far.

Also, regarding the Andalite leader nicknamed "Old Hoof and Tail"- wasn't there a WW2 general nicknamed "Old Tooth and Nail"? I'm sure I remember reading that somewhere, but my googling is weak.

Patton was allegeldy called "Old Blood And Guts".

# ? Aug 29, 2020 04:24

Terror Sweat: Mar 15, 2009

He was cool in the expanse, his death was a shock

# ? Aug 29, 2020 04:31

QuickbreathFinisher: Sep 28, 2008; by reading this post you have agreed to form a gay socialist micronation.
`

God ax rules :allears:

# ? Aug 29, 2020 07:04

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

Taking him to go see a movie is actually so sweet.

# ? Aug 29, 2020 07:11

Starsnostars: Jan 17, 2009; The Master of Magnetism

Ax is really good so I'm looking forward to this one. Also, the book cover makes it look like Andalites are really small compared to how big I think they're supposed to be.

# ? Aug 29, 2020 10:29

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

Starsnostars posted:

Ax is really good so I'm looking forward to this one. Also, the book cover makes it look like Andalites are really small compared to how big I think they're supposed to be.

Andalites are about human height IIRC, and Ax is still a teen

# ? Aug 29, 2020 13:39

Radio Free Kobold: Aug 11, 2012; "Federal regulations mandate that at least 30% of our content must promote Reptilian or Draconic culture. This is DJ Scratch N' Sniff with the latest mermaid screeching on KBLD..."

ING is a good sound

# ? Aug 29, 2020 19:26

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

The Alien-Chapter 2

quote:

I did not understand the plot of that story," I said.

We were in the movie theater. I was "sitting." This involves bending your body and resting on the fat deposits halfway down the back of your body.

"That was a preview, Ax," Prince Jake said. "It's just to give you an idea what the whole movie will be like when it comes out."

"Yes. I see. Why is the screen flat and two- dimensional? Flat. Flat-tuh."

"Because that's how movies are."

"Ah."

"You want some popcorn?" Marco asked. He held one of the open boxes they had obtained.

He moved it close to me.

"Is it food?" I asked.

"Well, sort of," Prince Jake said. "But, Ax? You know how you get around food, okay? So remember - don't get carried away."

I watched Marco eat some of the popcorn. I did as he did. I stuck my large human fingers into the box. I removed a handful of the food and stuck it in my mouth.

I chewed.

The texture was rough and strange. And the flavor! It reminded me of a food called pizza.

But there was just a hint of cigarette butts, which I also enjoy. Although Prince Jake had told me never to eat cigarette butts again. They are bad for you.

I took another handful of the popcorn. I chewed it. Another handful.

"This is excellent!" I cried.

"It tastes like it's about a week old," Marco said.

"What are these flavors? What are they called?"

"I don't know. Salt? Grease?"

"Salt!" I said, savoring the very sound of the word. "Salt! And grease! Greee-suh!"

"Hey, hold it down," someone behind me said. "The movie is starting."

"Salt. Salt-tuh. Grease. Greeeesss."

"Ax, don't talk so loud, okay?" Prince Jake suggested.

"Here, just take the box," Marco said.

He handed me the box of popcorn. I quickly ate the rest of it.

"Not the box," Marco wailed. "You don't eat the box!"

"It tasted of salt and grease," I pointed out.

"Oh, man. Is it time to leave yet?" Marco asked Prince Jake. "Tell me it's time to leave."

The movie began. It involved humans and nonhumans in uniforms. It seemed they were in some sort of spacecraft.

"What type of ship is that?" I asked. "It looks somewhat like a Hawjabran freighter."

"That's the Enterprise," Prince Jake said. "It's not real. It's just made-up."

"Yes, I know," I said. "I do know what a real interstellar spacecraft looks like."

I mean, duh. The book came out in June of 1997, and First Contact came out in November of 1996, so I assume this is what they're watching. Hawjabrans get mentioned one more time in the series.

quote:

Marco and Prince Jake looked at each other. Both smiled.

I quickly became bored by the plot of the movie. For one thing, there was one character who was clearly an Ongachic female. But in the movie this creature was called a "Klingon." It made no sense.

The Ongarchics are mentioned one more time in the series. Sadly, we don't know too much about them, other than that Ongarchic ladies look like Worf.

quote:

However, by accident I made a tremendous discovery: There was more popcorn! It was in boxes on the floor. I hadn't seen it in the darkness. There was a half-full box right by my feet. I quickly ate this new popcorn. Then I found something else beside it on the floor. It was a smaller box. Inside it were three small, brown globules.

I ate the brown globules.

At that moment, it was as if the entire planet had stopped spinning. The taste! It was beyond description!

Those brown globules were like nothing I had ever experienced. I felt my life had changed. I felt myself lifted up out of the world of everyday senses to some new level.

More! I wanted more!

Ax has been born again thanks to the all forgiving power of Raisinettes.

quote:

I dropped to my knees and began to search. I crawled along the floor, looking for more. It was easier crawling than walking. At least when I crawled I had four legs. Also, the humans had coated the floor with sticky substances, which made it easier not to slip.

I found no more boxes of globules. However, there was a small, twisted plastic envelope.

And within that twisted plastic envelope I discovered a chunk that smelled very similar to the globules.

I stuck it in my mouth.

Yes! It was the same flavor. The same miraculous, heavenly flavor! And yet ... there were differences, too. It was crunchier. And there were other flavors.

The floor of the movie theater was filled with precious items! I crawled on. I had to squeeze past several seated humans who made loud noises as I passed.

"Hey, jerk! What are you doing?"

"Get away from me, you freak!"

But I could not be distracted. I wanted more of the amazing brown food! More!

Yes! Success! Another small box, and this one was half filled with brightly colored pellets.

And yet, inside each pellet, more of the magic brown food!

More. More! I wanted more!

There! A younger human was holding an entire box of the brown globules! But I could not just take them. I must have permission first.

I looked up from the floor at the human. "Please give me your brown globules?!" I asked. "Globules! Ules!"

"MOMMY!"

"What do you think you're doing?" another human cried.

"MOMMY! He's trying to take my candy!"

I heard a more familiar voice. It was Marco. "Where is he? Jake! Where's Ax?"

"I merely wish to enjoy the brown globules!" I explained to the screaming child.

Suddenly, I felt Prince Jake and Marco grabbing my arms. They lifted me up off the floor and dragged me away.

"Globules!" I cried. I snatched for the box the small human was holding. "Globules!"

Pity the poor chocolate junkie.

Chapter 3

There are many dangers for an Andalite in human morph. For one thing, there is the constant danger that you will fall off your two legs. The slightest push and you can topple over. But worse by far is the danger of taste. Taste is the sense that can drive an Andalite mad! Especially if it involves cinnamon buns or chocolate. - From the Earth Diary of Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill

quote:

By the time Marco and Prince Jake had half-dragged, half-carried me out of the theater, I was calm again. We emerged into a brilliant sunlit area where vehicles are parked.

"Okay, I think we have learned a lesson here," Prince Jake said. "No chocolate for Ax."

"Chocolate? Chock? Chock-lit?" I said, trying out the word. "The brown globules are called chocolate? What about the brightly colored pellets?"

"Actually, the globules are called Raisinets. The pellets are M&M's. Are you under control now, Ax?" Prince Jake asked.

I couldn't tell if he was angry or amused. "Yes," I said shakily. "I ... the flavor! It was just so wonderful."

Cassie and Rachel emerged from the mall be hind me. They watched curiously, but kept their distance. As always, we were careful not to appear to be a group. The Controllers are everywhere.

Suddenly, I heard a thought-speak message. <Hey, you guys. Was the movie that bad?>

It was Tobias, on patrol far overhead. Of course, no one could answer him. Humans can use thought-speech only when they're in a morph. And since I was in a human body, I too was restricted to spoken language.

I get the feeling this is probably a mistake, or at least something the author wrote without thinking through the implications, because how would the morphing technology know if an Andalite was morphing into something that could speak? But, what are you going to do?

quote:

<There's kind of a thing going on,> Tobias said. <Just around the corner from you. Some guy staggering around and screaming at the top of his lungs. Cops are coming,fast. I'm pretty sure I heard the word 'Yeerk.' He's heading your way.>

Just then, I began to hear it, too. It was a human shouting in a loud, hoarse voice.

"Over there," Marco said tersely.

A man appeared. He seemed to be having difficulty standing up. He leaned against the outer wall of the store and staggered forward. Humans stared at him and moved away.

"Listen to me! Listen to me!" he cried, looking around wildly. "They're here! They're here! They're everywhere! The Yeerks are here!"

My human body felt as if it had been jolted with electricity. Human bodies become very tense when surprised. I could see that Prince Jake and Marco were having the same reaction.

I heard sirens wailing and drawing closer.

"What do we do?" Marco asked.

Prince Jake turned quickly back to Rachel and Cassie. He made a gesture with his hand.

"Split up!" he said.

"They're heeeeere!" the man cried. "Aaaaah-hhh!" He suddenly clapped both his hands over his left ear. "Got you! Got you! Die! Die!"

"He's a Controller," I said. "The Yeerk in his head is dying."

Jake met my gaze. "I know," he said. "Been there."

I nodded. Jake had been made into a Controller, though only for a brief time. We had been able to imprison him and starve the Yeerk. Yeerks live in the brains of other species, but every three Earth days they must bathe in the Yeerk pool and soak up Kandrona rays.

Without Kandrona rays, they starve and die.

Kandrona rays are beamed from a device called a Kandrona. (Actually, it's a Kandrona Wave/Particle Generator.) The rays are beamed and then concentrated in the Yeerk pool, where the Yeerks feed.

We had found and destroyed the Earth-based Kandrona.

"Why is this happening now?" Rachel asked. "It's been weeks since we destroyed the Kandrona. Nothing ever seemed to happen. So why now?"

I shrugged my shoulders, the way humans do to indicate ignorance. "I don't know, Rachel. Maybe the Yeerks have reached their limit. It would have been a strain on their resources to shuttle Controllers back and forth to the mother ship. Ship-puh. Maybe something was broken."

"I didn't think things just broke for you space people," Marco said.

"Things break," I said truthfully. "Break. Ake. Ake-kuh."

"Well, whatever. Scratch one Yeerk," Marco said harshly.

The man was screaming now and yanking at his ear. I could just see the slimy tip of the dying Yeerk as it slithered out of the man's head.

"Can't we help him?"

It was Cassie. She and Rachel had defied Prince Jake's order to split up. They were with us now as we watched, horrified and transfixed.

"We have to stay clear of this," Prince Jake said. "But maybe it's finally starting. It may just be this one guy, but there may be more. Finally! I expected this to start happening weeks ago. Yeerks dying! Controllers suddenly free and human again." He grinned. It was a savage look.

"They'll die, and their hosts will be free! At first, people will think they're nuts. But when they have ten, twenty, fifty people all yelling about the Yeerks? They won't be able to cover that up. Not for long!"

His voice had risen, becoming higher, and the words came out faster. He was obviously excited.

Suddenly, an ambulance raced up, followed by two police cars, all with flashing lights and screaming sirens.

"Hah!" Marco said. "I'm sure some of the cops are Controllers, but they can't all be. Jake's right. The truth will get out! This is going to work! The truth is going to come out!"

"The replacement Kandrona is supposed to be here soon," Rachel pointed out. "We should have seen a lot more of this. The Yeerks must have found a way to keep this from happening till now."

Rachel is a true warrior. She does not underestimate her enemies. She was not ready to start talking about victory.

But the others were all very happy. They believed that many Yeerks would die, and the hosts would be free to tell the world the truth.

They believed they had won the war.

It made me sad for them. Because I knew the truth. I knew how the Yeerks operated.

I almost told Prince Jake right then. He has a special reason to be hopeful. His brother, Tom, is a Controller. There is nothing Prince Jake would want as much as his brother's freedom.

But I knew this screaming Controller with the dying Yeerk in his head was just an oversight.

Something had gone wrong with the Yeerk's secret efforts, but I knew that there would be no witnesses.

I knew what would happen to this poor, shouting human.

Jake was my prince how, my leader. But if I told him ... it would lead to questions. And I could not answer questions. Not without revealing the terrible truth behind the law of Seerow's Kindness.

Humans rushed from the ambulance and the police cars. Most, as Marco had said, were probably true, normal humans. They grabbed the screaming man, who was still pulling the Yeerk from his ear.

"Oh, Lord! What is that? He's pulling his brains out!" one policeman cried in horror.

"The Yeerks! They're here!" the human screamed. "Die! Die! Get out of me and die! Freedom!"

The police surrounded the man and hustled him to the ambulance. It was hard to see, unless you were expecting it: the moment when one of the policemen drew a small, steel cylinder from his pocket and pressed it against the back of the man's neck.

"I can't believe it!" Cassie exulted. "Maybe it's really going to happen. Maybe people will realize the truth!"

"They have a real, live Yeerk now," Prince Jake said. "They can't cover this up forever."

Again I thought of telling them the truth. That the human was already gone. That the Yeerk slug would crumble into dust. That no evidence would be left behind.

But even though these humans were my friends, even though we fought side by side, there were secrets I could not tell them.

I could not tell them how a race of parasitic slugs had come to be a danger to the entire galaxy.

I could not tell them why we Andalites had to fight the Yeerks. Why we had no choice but to fight them. Why we hated them so deeply.

We have secrets, we Andalites. And the greatest secret of all is our own guilt.

"This is great," Prince Jake said, smiling.

"Yes," I said. "Great."

The first couple chapters were so happy, too....

Poor Ax. Poor little Andelite kid.

# ? Aug 30, 2020 00:42

Zasze: Apr 29, 2009

I had forgotten how much of a breath of fresh air the axe books were. I'm so tempted to re read child terrorists with animal powers the series I was super into them when I was 11ish but fell off the wagon in the end filler stretch.

# ? Aug 30, 2020 01:55

nine-gear crow: Aug 10, 2013

Ax books should really have either

as thread tags, hth.

# ? Aug 30, 2020 02:18

Radio Free Kobold: Aug 11, 2012; "Federal regulations mandate that at least 30% of our content must promote Reptilian or Draconic culture. This is DJ Scratch N' Sniff with the latest mermaid screeching on KBLD..."

holy crackers!

# ? Aug 30, 2020 02:51

Homora Gaykemi: Apr 30, 2020; by Fluffdaddy

"globules" slapping me right in the recesses of my memory

# ? Aug 30, 2020 03:01

OctaviusBeaver: Apr 30, 2009; Say what now?

GIVE ME YOUR GLOBULES HUMAN CHILD

# ? Aug 30, 2020 04:07

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

OctaviusBeaver posted:

GIVE ME YOUR GLOBULES HUMAN CHILD

Like taking candy from a baby?

# ? Aug 30, 2020 04:36

Ytlaya: Nov 13, 2005

Have we been told where Andalites derive sustenance yet? Are they like plants and just absorb sunlight or something?

# ? Aug 30, 2020 09:42

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Spoilering because I can't remember if this has been mentioned but they crush grass beneath their hooves and absorb nutrients, hence the big grassy area in the Dome ships.

# ? Aug 30, 2020 09:58

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Ytlaya posted:

Have we been told where Andalites derive sustenance yet? Are they like plants and just absorb sunlight or something?

It will come up in this book, actually.

# ? Aug 30, 2020 11:20

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

The Alien-Chapter 4

quote:

As the sun rose above the horizon the next morning, I stood by the small stream where I drink each day. Rough grasses, mixed with fallen leaves and pine needles, ran right down to the water. The sun was just barely visible through a gap in the forest trees.

<From the water that gave birth to us,> I said, and dipped my right forehoof into the water. It was the beginning of the morning ritual.

<From the grass that feeds us,> I said, and moved back to crush a small tuft of grass beneath the same hoof.>

<For the freedom that unites us.> I spread my arms wide.

<We rise to the stars.> I looked with all four of my eyes at the rising sun.

I sighed. This was really pretty pointless. I had never been a big believer in all the rituals. I mean, if you're going to be a warrior, you have to do it. And any aristh who gets caught rushing through the ritual is verbally reprimanded.

But still, I was about a billion Earth miles from my home world. It was hard to see why I should still be acting like a good little warrior- cadet. I was all alone among aliens. Who cared if I performed the rituals?

I bowed low. <Freedom is my only cause. Duty to the people, my only guide. Obedience to my prince, my only glory.>

I hesitated. Tobias had landed in the tree above.

<The destruction of my enemies, my most solemn vow.>

I straightened up again, then assumed the fighting stance. <I, Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill, Andalite warrior-cadet, offer my life.>

With that, I drew my tail blade forward and pressed it against my own throat.

Then I relaxed my tail. This was the part of the ritual that called for contemplation. You were supposed to think about the parts of the ritual and ask yourself if you were living up to all of it.

The destruction of my enemies, my most solemn vow. That was the part that stayed in my thoughts.

I had not destroyed my enemy. My enemy was terrible and powerful. And if I tried to destroy him, I would be the one killed.

But that did not matter. What mattered was the enemy. The creature who had murdered my brother. Not in battle, but as he lay almost help less.

It was the humans who'd told me the rest of Elfangor's story. As the dome went crashing into Earth's sea, my brother's fighter was damaged by the Yeerks.

He landed in an abandoned construction site. There were five human youths passing by: Jake, Cassie, Marco, Rachel, and Tobias.

Elfangor was dying, and he knew that Earth was now defenseless. He told the five youths about the Yeerk threat. And then he did what he should not have done. He gave them a weapon to fight the Yeerks.

He gave them the Andalite power to morph.

Never in all of history has any non-Andalite been given the power to morph. It's against our major law: the law of Seerow's Kindness.

Only one other creature can morph: the Yeerk who invaded and took over an Andalite body. He is the only Andalite-Controller. There are hundreds of thousands of Hork-Bajir and Taxxons and humans enslaved that way, but only one Andalite.

Only one Yeerk has an Andalite body, and the power to morph.

The Abomination: Visser Three.

The humans told me of Elfangor's last battle. How Visser Three had morphed into a huge, monstrous creature. How Elfangor had fought to the very end, lashing out helplessly. How Visser Three had opened his jaws and . . .

The humans don't know it, but if Elfangor had lived, he would have been in huge trouble. He would have been demoted, at very least. He would no longer have been a prince. Elfangor as the great hero would have been finished.

<The destruction of my enemies, my most solemn vow.>

I had faced Visser Three more than once. He was still living. I had no excuse, except that I was still just an aristh. If I were a full warrior, it would have been total dishonor for me.

Elfangor would have had the courage. If it had been me killed by Visser Three, Elfangor would have gone right after him.

But I guess I'm not Elfangor.

So, this is actually in a lot of ways, a really sad book. As was mentioned briefly in the Megamorphs book, Ax has the obligation, both internally and culturally, to try to kill Visser Three for the murder of his brother, and the fact that he hasn''t yet is a source of immense guilt.

quote:

<Hey, Ax-man, what's up?>

 I said. Actually, I was not fine. Tobias being there reminded me that I had something planned for this morning, and I was nervous. Maybe that's why the morning ritual had not left me feeling calm, like it was supposed to. I was planning to do something very frightening. I was planning to go to school.

<Not to be too curious or anything, but what was that you were doing? I've seen you do it before. >

<The morning ritual. It reminds a warrior to be humble. And to serve the people.>

<Sounds good,> Tobias said. <Yikes! Um, Ax? Don't step back. In fact, don't move at all.>

<What is wrong?> I asked.

<Don't you hear that?>

I listened. <That rattling, hissing sound? I've heard that before.>

<It's a rattlesnake. Right by your leg. They're poisonous, you know.>

<Ah. No, I didn't know.> I turned to face the snake. I saw it coiled in the leaves. What I did not see was when it struck! It was too fast! Too fast to see, let alone avoid.

Luckily, the fangs hit my hoof! I whipped my tail forward and pressed the snake against the ground, holding it immobile. It squirmed and made the rattling sound with its tail.

<Better get rid of it,> Tobias advised.

But I had a different idea. I focused on the snake. I began to "acquire" it, absorbing the snake's DNA into my system.

<You want to be able to morph a rattle snake ?> Tobias asked, sounding dubious.

<It's very fast,> I said. <And I have fewer Earth morphs than the others. It may be useful someday.> The snake had gone limp, the way animals always do when you acquire them.

When I was done and the snake's DNA was within me, I used my tail to flip it away into some bushes.

<So,> Tobias asked, <are you still going ahead with your get-to-know-the-humans plan?>

<Yes. I may be on this planet for a long time. I should be using this time to learn about humans. Even though ... I think I may have behaved badly at the movie.>

Tobias laughed. He laughed for quite a while. <Yeah. I heard about that. You just need to stay away from chocolate.>



<Don't sweat it,> Tobias said. <But speaking of taste . . . you realize there's this big mystery about you.>

<A big mystery?>

<Yeah. No one wants to ask you because they think maybe it's rude. But everyone wants to know how you eat with no mouth.>

<How I eat?> I repeated, puzzled. <Well, I have hooves, don't l?>

<Ooookay,> Tobias said. <I'll mind my own business.>

We started moving through the woods. I ran at a good speed. I enjoyed leaping fallen logs and dodging through dense patches of thorny bushes. I was getting to know this forest well.

As I ran and leaped, Tobias flew overhead. At times he would rise through the canopy of trees and disappear from my sight. At other times he would flit from tree to tree, silent, swift.

<In school, during Xenobiology, we had a section on humans,> I told Tobias. <It mostly involved human television programs. News shows. Entertainment. Music.>

<Music? You mean like MTV? You were watching music videos on the Andalite home world?>

<I don't remember what they were. I ... I didn't pay very much attention to Xenobiology. I wish I had now. A warrior is supposed to be a scientist and an artist, as well as a fighter. But I didn't always enjoy that other stuff, so I didn't pay much attention. I suppose humans always pay attention in school.>

<Absolutely,> Tobias said. <That's why I am such an expert on the War of 1812.>

<A war? Tell me about it.>



We had reached a narrow spur of woods. Normally, I would not have dared go this far because it was surrounded on three sides by human habitations.
But Tobias was overhead, keeping his incredibly keen eyes open for any danger.

<Yes, I'm ready.>

<Jake and Cassie are coming across the field. Time for you to morph. Time to get human.>

<Tobias, will you ... I mean, you'll be alone today. While I'm with the others.>

<What, like I can't get along without you, Ax- man? I have places to go. Things to do. Feathers to preen. Rodents to eat. Besides, Ax, Jake has already asked me to fly cover over the school while you're in there.>

I don't know why, but it made me feel better to think that Tobias would be in the sky above me all day.

Sometimes I think Tobias and I could be true shorm. A shorm is a deep friend, someone you never lie to, someone who knows all your secrets. The word shorm means "tail blade." See, it's supposed to mean a person you would trust so much they could put their tail blade right up against your throat and you wouldn't even worry.

Sometimes I think Tobias and I could be like that. We are both cut off from our own people.

We're both alone.

But if we were friends, I would have no secrets from Tobias. And even though he was a hawk in form, he was still a human. And I am an Andalite. And no matter how much I sometimes wished for a real friend, there had to be a wall between my people and the humans. Between me and the humans.

Getting too close to any alien species is a mistake. We are taught that. We may protect them, defend them, care for them. But they can never be deep friends.

For what it's worth, I think that Ax and Tobias are great together. Also, this is sort of why it's been "the Animorphs and Ax." He's not one of them yet. He won't let himself be.

Chapter 5

I have morphed some Andalite animals. And I have morphed many strange Earth animals. But the animal I morphed the most is the human animal. They are weak, slow, half-blind, and unstable, but no Andalite should laugh at them. Humans rule their planet. And as the human Rachel once said, Earth is a tough neighborhood. - From the Earth Diary of Aximili- Esgarrouth-Isthill

quote:

I peered through the trees. I could see a wide, grassy field. On the far side of the field were several long, squat buildings. There were large yellow vehicles parked in front. Hundreds of young humans milled around outside the building.

Prince Jake and Cassie had drawn close.

"Hey, Ax," Prince Jake said. "How's it going?"

<Very well, Prince Jake,> I answered.

"Um, you're not going to call me Prince Jake today, are you?"

<When I am in human morph, I will behave as a normal human,> I assured him.

"Well, better go ahead and morph," Cassie suggested.

 Tobias said. He flapped his wings and rose slowly into the sky.

I concentrated on my human morph and began to make the change.

<Still clear,> I heard Tobias call down from above. <There are some kids about two hundred feet away, but they can't see you.>

I morphed as quickly as I could, while being careful not to fall over as my third and fourth legs disappeared. At last, I stood on just two legs. It's both frightening and exciting. I mean, there you are, tottering back and forth with nothing to hold you up. Your feet can't grip, and they are too short to be much help in balancing.

All you can do if you start to fall is stand on one leg while you throw the second leg out to catch yourself. It's very unreliable. I don't know why humans evolved this way. They are the only species on this planet to walk around on just two legs, without wings or a tail to hold
them up. And I've certainly never heard of any other intelligent species trying to walk this way.

Now that's kind of interesting. We're the only intelligent species to be bipedal and tailless.

quote:

"Hey, grab him," Prince Jake yelled as I began to lean back.

"Got him," Cassie said. She helped support me as I finished the morph.

Last of all the mouth appeared, a horizontal split in my face.

"Are you done?" Prince Jake asked me.

"Yes. I am fully human." the sound delighted me. It's an amazing talent,

this ability to make complex sounds. "Human. Mun. Hyew-mun. Hu man. Huh-yew-mun."

"Um, Ax? Don't do that, okay?" Prince Jake said.

"What? What-tuh?"

"That. Where you play with every sound like it's a new toy."

"Yes, my prince. Not a toy. Toy! Toytoytoy- toy . . . Sorry."

"This should be interesting," Cassie said, looking at Prince Jake.

Tobias came swooping low and rested on a tree branch. <It's kind of sweet,> he said. <Ax's first day of school.>

"His only day of school," Prince Jake said quickly. "This is just so he can learn how to be a more believable human. One time."

Prince Jake held up a single finger, indicating the number one.

"Yes, that is one," I agreed. "Now, let's go to school. I am looking forward to it. To it. Tewit."

"Remember, you're my cousin Phillip, from out of state," Jake said while handing me a bag filled with garments.

"Phillip," I repeated confidently. "Phillip. Lip. Phill-up. Pah."

I like the sound the letter "p" makes.

I got dressed and set off toward the squat building that was the schoolhouse.

<Have fun,> Tobias said. He sounded just a little wistful in my mind. It was a strange thing, I guess. I, an alien, could go to his school. But he could not.

"I will," I called back over my shoulder.

Unfortunately, bending that way made me fall over. It takes practice to walk on just two legs.

I also like the sound the letter "p" makes.

# ? Aug 31, 2020 00:31

Safety Biscuits: Oct 21, 2010

nine-gear crow posted:

Ax books should really have either or as thread tags, hth.

Good point. I normally just try to match the tag colours to the front cover colours because there aren't many animal tags.

# ? Aug 31, 2020 02:14

nine-gear crow: Aug 10, 2013

Safety Biscuits posted:

Good point. I normally just try to match the tag colours to the front cover colours because there aren't many animal tags.

My work here is done :greenangel:

# ? Aug 31, 2020 02:33

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

Ax learning about humans in school feels wrong - didn't the Yeerks only discover earth around the Gulf War i.e. five years beforehand?

# ? Aug 31, 2020 08:53

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# ? May 23, 2024 03:41

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

If I remember rightly The Andalite Chronicles makes clear that the Andalites knew about humanity since the late 70s or so.

# ? Aug 31, 2020 09:07

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Read Animorphs! The Whole Series! Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

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