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DemonDarkhorse
Nov 5, 2011

It's probably not tobacco. You just need to start wiping front-to-back from now on.
https://www.criminallyintrigued.com/blog/2018/7/3/omb0fh6gi07mc0hfuz0d7ow4nggyi1

facial reconstruction always gives me the heebie geebies. its why i cant look through the doe network on the regular. im glad it works though, especially in cases like this where the killer took extraordinary measures to hide the identity of the victim.

bonus unnerving: the comments section

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Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer

This is from a while back but man I uh, hope this guy wasn't still there the next year holy poo poo

quote:

I am working in downtown New-York at the world trade center and when somebody is in the observation deck of the world trade center you see plane on approach to Laguardia aiport not far away from the building.Sometime you think that the plane is coming to hit the building.
And for your information planes do fly over Manhattan and I always think what if a pilote crashes a plane on us

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

I think you’ll find that every school had at least one Lemonjello who was in the class a few years before yours, you just missed him.

Tbf when I was in 10th grade a 9th grader told me he was so good at martial arts he went with his dad to get his hands registered at the county courthouse as lethal weapons. I knew he was full of poo poo but I didn't find out that was meme before memes existed for like another 4 years

teen witch
Oct 9, 2012
That and the “my x works for Nintendo” - urMemes

Tobermory
Mar 31, 2011

Aesop Poprock posted:

Tbf when I was in 10th grade a 9th grader told me he was so good at martial arts he went with his dad to get his hands registered at the county courthouse as lethal weapons. I knew he was full of poo poo but I didn't find out that was meme before memes existed for like another 4 years

I remember being told that one as a kid. I was living in a part of the country that didn't require you to register shotguns as lethal weapons.

Cream-of-Plenty
Apr 21, 2010

"The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."
I actually had a relatively close friend who quietly claimed that he had to register as a lethal weapon because of his training. The funny thing was that he was an otherwise trustworthy person who wasn’t prone to histrionics or attention seeking. This was in California where lethal weapons in general weren’t particularly easy to obtain, so I always wondered why the state didn’t make him cut his hands off.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Cream-of-Plenty posted:

I actually had a relatively close friend who quietly claimed that he had to register as a lethal weapon because of his training. The funny thing was that he was an otherwise trustworthy person who wasn’t prone to histrionics or attention seeking. This was in California where lethal weapons in general weren’t particularly easy to obtain, so I always wondered why the state didn’t make him cut his hands off.

I voluntarily wear leaden mitts as testament to my pacifism

Can someone scratch my nose

HelleSpud
Apr 1, 2010
The Disappearance of Jamie Fraley

During a phone call with a friend Jamie Fraley mentioned she was going to the hospital due to persistent stomach issues and cut the call short saying "he" (her ride) had arrived, but did not name "him". When she missed an appointment the next day her family checked her apartment and found her purse with wallet, ID, and keys, but not her or her cellphone. Two days later utility workers found her cellphone about a mile from her apartment.

Police immediately started looking at her fiancé, but he was already in jail. Then they looked at her fiancé's father.

Ricky Simonds Sr. had already driven her to appointments; he could be her mystery driver. He lived two doors down; he was close. He was reportedly "obsessed" with her. His ex-girlfriend had a protective order. He had strangled a girlfriend to death before.

Seven weeks after Fraley's disappearance Simonds' ex-girlfriend, Kim Sprenger, noticed her purse had been stolen from her car. A week later she noticed a smell. The next day she opened her trunk. Simonds had been found.

Police believe that Simonds had used the keys from Spenger's stolen purse to let himself into her trunk planning to ambush her, but hadn't planned on the temperatures reaching over 90. He had died of heat stroke.

Fraley still has not been found. Simonds remains the main suspect in Fraley's disappearance.

InediblePenguin
Sep 27, 2004

I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.
e: wrong thread

BrianRx
Jul 21, 2007

Cream-of-Plenty posted:

I actually had a relatively close friend who quietly claimed that he had to register as a lethal weapon because of his training. The funny thing was that he was an otherwise trustworthy person who wasn’t prone to histrionics or attention seeking. This was in California where lethal weapons in general weren’t particularly easy to obtain, so I always wondered why the state didn’t make him cut his hands off.

Yeah, I worked with a guy in California who said the same thing. Something about having to show a card to inform the police he's a trained boxer or something. Now that we're talking about it, it seems far-fetched, but this was from an otherwise normal and trustworthy dude.

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer

HelleSpud posted:

The Disappearance of Jamie Fraley

During a phone call with a friend Jamie Fraley mentioned she was going to the hospital due to persistent stomach issues and cut the call short saying "he" (her ride) had arrived, but did not name "him". When she missed an appointment the next day her family checked her apartment and found her purse with wallet, ID, and keys, but not her or her cellphone. Two days later utility workers found her cellphone about a mile from her apartment.

Police immediately started looking at her fiancé, but he was already in jail. Then they looked at her fiancé's father.

Ricky Simonds Sr. had already driven her to appointments; he could be her mystery driver. He lived two doors down; he was close. He was reportedly "obsessed" with her. His ex-girlfriend had a protective order. He had strangled a girlfriend to death before.

Seven weeks after Fraley's disappearance Simonds' ex-girlfriend, Kim Sprenger, noticed her purse had been stolen from her car. A week later she noticed a smell. The next day she opened her trunk. Simonds had been found.

Police believe that Simonds had used the keys from Spenger's stolen purse to let himself into her trunk planning to ambush her, but hadn't planned on the temperatures reaching over 90. He had died of heat stroke.

Fraley still has not been found. Simonds remains the main suspect in Fraley's disappearance.
It's gotta be some sort of relief when your main antagonist not only offs himself but delivers his body to you as proof of his crime

PetraCore
Jul 20, 2017

👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Aesop Poprock posted:

It's gotta be some sort of relief when your main antagonist not only offs himself but delivers his body to you as proof of his crime
Ehhh, not always. When a predator is dead, they can no longer hurt anyone else directly, but in a case like this it also means that if he killed Jamie, now her body is super likely to never be found because he can't answer questions. Still, I'd rather he died in that car trunk than successfully ambushed his ex-girlfriend, jesus.

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer
I meant from the point of view of the ex girlfriend, not in a grand karmic sense, but yeah it is not at all satisfying from a human perspective when horrible people die without even being proclaimed guilty of their crimes

Ellie Crabcakes
Feb 1, 2008

Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

HelleSpud posted:

Ricky Simonds Sr ... had strangled a girlfriend to death before.

quote:

He, too, had a criminal record, including six years in prison for manslaughter in the 1980s after strangling a girlfriend to death.
Six fuckin years. That's how important we are to them.

Aesop Poprock
Oct 21, 2008


Grimey Drawer
As much as I am a fan of jail being a rehabilitate assignment over a punishment one the 60s-80s style was really blindspotted and allowed so many manipulative murderers/rapists etc back out into the general populas. Unfortunately that turned into the current system of literally making black people slaves again for carrying a gram of bud on them

PetraCore
Jul 20, 2017

👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Aesop Poprock posted:

As much as I am a fan of jail being a rehabilitate assignment over a punishment one the 60s-80s style was really blindspotted and allowed so many manipulative murderers/rapists etc back out into the general populas. Unfortunately that turned into the current system of literally making black people slaves again for carrying a gram of bud on them
There's also the fact that some things we really don't know how to rehabilitate - I believe sex offenders tend to have enough of either a compulsive element to their crimes or a lack of remorse and empathy that it's really hard to consider them rehabilitated. The problem obviously gets worse with someone who is a known manipulator, because then you're stuck in the position of trying to decide if they're really safe to re-enter society, or if they're faking it for long enough to get out there, or if they think they're in control but aren't going to function well outside of a structured environment. It just sucks because I want to believe everyone has the potential to do better, but I also think that at a certain point someone needs to be monitored for life, if not humanely kept away from society as a whole.

i must compose
Jul 4, 2010

Until the lions have their own historians, the history of the hunt will always glorify the hunter.

HelleSpud posted:

The Disappearance of Jamie Fraley

During a phone call with a friend Jamie Fraley mentioned she was going to the hospital due to persistent stomach issues and cut the call short saying "he" (her ride) had arrived, but did not name "him". When she missed an appointment the next day her family checked her apartment and found her purse with wallet, ID, and keys, but not her or her cellphone. Two days later utility workers found her cellphone about a mile from her apartment.

Police immediately started looking at her fiancé, but he was already in jail. Then they looked at her fiancé's father.

Ricky Simonds Sr. had already driven her to appointments; he could be her mystery driver. He lived two doors down; he was close. He was reportedly "obsessed" with her. His ex-girlfriend had a protective order. He had strangled a girlfriend to death before.

Seven weeks after Fraley's disappearance Simonds' ex-girlfriend, Kim Sprenger, noticed her purse had been stolen from her car. A week later she noticed a smell. The next day she opened her trunk. Simonds had been found.

Police believe that Simonds had used the keys from Spenger's stolen purse to let himself into her trunk planning to ambush her, but hadn't planned on the temperatures reaching over 90. He had died of heat stroke.

Fraley still has not been found. Simonds remains the main suspect in Fraley's disappearance.

LOL nice plan dumbass

Ellie Crabcakes
Feb 1, 2008

Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

i must compose posted:

LOL nice plan dumbass
He Jason Mendoza'd himself

knife_of_justice
Aug 12, 2007

103 and still BITCHIN'

i must compose posted:

LOL nice plan dumbass

“Think that’s how ya ambush a girl, sport? My dead grandma could do better! Get on the floor and give me 50!”

I brought my Drake
Jul 10, 2014

These high-G injections have some serious side effects after pulling so many jumps.

Found this real piece of work through the wiki thread: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nathaniel_Bar-Jonah

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

loving A

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
Maybe they shouldn't have kept letting him go after he raped and murder children repeatedly.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Pick posted:

Maybe they shouldn't have kept letting him go after he raped and murder children repeatedly.

I especially hated the violent assault that just... wasn't... mentioned... to the probation officer? So they sent him a grateful note for his cooperation with the terms of his probation, upon his release? Tha- thanks for your diligence everyone

Nckdictator
Sep 8, 2006
Just..someone
Paul Powell was a racist pedo rapist who attempted to rape and then murdered his neighbor and actually raped and nearly murdered her sister after he found out she had a black boyfriend.
He was an utterly odious person and boasted about his crime in prison along with mailing mocking letters to the victims mother.

He was sentenced to death but the Virginia Supreme Court overturned his death sentence on the ground that there was no proof that he attempted to rape the girl he killed.

Well, there was no proof until Powell decided to write a letter to the prosecutor gloating about the overturned death penalty.

quote:

” “Mr. Ebert,

Since I have already been indicted on first degree murder and the Va. Supreme Court said that I can't be charged with capital murder again, I figured I would tell you the rest of what happened on Jan. 29, 1999, to show you how stupid all of y'all mother fuckers are.

(Cutting out graphic description of rape and murder)

... I guess I forgot to mention these events when I was being questioned. Ha Ha! Sike!
I knew what y'all would be able to prove in court, so I told you what you already knew. Stacey was dead and no one else was in the house so I knew ya'll would never know everything she went through unless she came back to life.

Since the Supreme Court said I can't be charged with capital murder again, I can tell you what I just told you because I no longer have to worry about the death penalty. And y'all are supposed to be so goddamn smart. I can't believe that y'all thought I told you everything.

Well, it's too late now. Nothing you can do about it now so gently caress you you fat, cocksucking, cum guzzling, gutter slut. I guess I'll see your bitch rear end on Dec. 18 at trial because I'm not pleading to poo poo. Tell the family to be ready to testify and relive it all again because if I have to suffer for the next 50 or 60 years or however long then they can suffer the torment of reliving what happened for a couple of days.

I'm gone. gently caress you and anyone like you or that associates with people like you.
I almost forgot, gently caress your god, too. Jesus knows how to suck a dick real good. Did you teach him?
Well, die a slow, painful, miserable death. See ya punk.

Do you just hate yourself for being so stupid and for fuckin' up and saving me?

Sincerely,
Paul Powell.”

Unfortunately for Powell he misunderstood the law and with his confession in such graphic detail he was resentenced to death and executed a few years later.

Nckdictator has a new favorite as of 18:28 on Aug 31, 2020

The Golden Gael
Nov 12, 2011

And after all that, he called the family to say sorry and tell them what a pointless thing it was to do. Talk about rubbing salt in the wound, to have this rapist rear end in a top hat who you know is a liar take you for one last go.

Aaaaaaarrrrrggggg
Oct 4, 2004

ha, ha, ha, og me ekam
I don't know why, but hearing the lawyer's and Court's response to this feels like it would be very satisfying.

a mysterious cloak
Apr 5, 2003

Leave me alone, dad, I'm with my friends!


Nckdictator posted:

Unfortunately for Powell he misunderstood the law and with his confession in such graphic detail he was resentenced to death and executed a few years later.

I'm not pro-death-penalty, but this gave me a solid :lol: because I just can't feel sorry for such a piece of poo poo.

Ellie Crabcakes
Feb 1, 2008

Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

a mysterious cloak posted:

I'm not pro-death-penalty, but this gave me a solid :lol: because I just can't feel sorry for such a piece of poo poo.
Yeah, I can hear the Curb Your Enthusiasm music in my head

PetraCore
Jul 20, 2017

👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

a mysterious cloak posted:

I'm not pro-death-penalty, but this gave me a solid :lol: because I just can't feel sorry for such a piece of poo poo.
Same boat. I'm anti-death-penalty for various reasons but in cases like this it's not like I particularly care about this shithead, it's just I'm applying my standards equally to everyone.

Inceltown
Aug 6, 2019

U.S. Marshals say they found 39 missing children in Georgia during two-week operation

InediblePenguin
Sep 27, 2004

I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.

something about this absolutely screams bullshit. i mean they keep repeating (without any details at all) that they "found" all these "missing children" in a way that makes me think they actually irl did some "welfare checks" on kids who are involved with the system in some way and are trying as hard as humanly possible to say this vaguely enough to sound heroic

Arsenic Lupin
Apr 12, 2012

This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.


Yeah, 13 of those were just welfare checks that ended in "yeah, kid's fine." Don't belong as "rescued".

InediblePenguin
Sep 27, 2004

I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.
"we forgot to send a case worker out to this kid for a while" doesn't mean the kid is "missing"

"by 'missing' we mean 'we are missing their paperwork due to our own incompetence'" is my takeaway

Source4Leko
Jul 25, 2007


Dinosaur Gum
That story is getting pushed hard on social media.

InediblePenguin
Sep 27, 2004

I'm strong. And a giant penguin. Please don't eat me. No, really. Don't try.
people are idiots, as all the rest of 2020 has more than amply illustrated to anyone who was in doubt after all of history running up to it

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




I like this bit:
https://www.usmarshals.gov/news/chron/2020/082720.htm

quote:

This initiative was the culmination of several months of planning and coordination between the USMS, NCMEC, Georgia Bureau of Investigation, Georgia Office of the Attorney General, Georgia Department of Family and Children Services, Georgia Department of Juvenile Justice, the Federal Bureau of Investigation and Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta.

So in order to check off 39 children in a headline grabbing two-week operation, how many children were left in place for weeks? Several months of planning, and all those investigations didn't bear fruit in the last few days before the launch of the operation. 9 adults were arrested, how many extra days were at-risk children left in their clutches?

They know where you are. They know you need help. And in a couple weeks they'll get all their paperwork in order and come rescue you.

Madkal
Feb 11, 2008

Fallen Rib

Fatty Crabcakes posted:

Yeah, I can hear the Curb Your Enthusiasm music in my head

Arrested Development for me.

Idiot: lol gently caress you losers. I totally did it and there is nothing you can do about it. I'm a giant piece of poo poo and you are soooooo stupid you can't even execute me.
Narrator: They did.

BrianRx
Jul 21, 2007

queserasera posted:

Found this real piece of work through the wiki thread: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nathaniel_Bar-Jonah

This is so loving bad. I had to take a minute to calm down after reading it, and it's just a Wikipedia page. I cannot believe how long he was active. He got caught like 80% of the time he did it. He wasn't at all clever or subtle in committing the attacks yet he was able to create a complicated code for his journal, so he wasn't a dummy. He was like a robot that was programmed to do one terrible, horrible thing, and he did it over and over until someone finally was like "well seven kids was stretching it, but eight is just too many" and actually put him in jail for life.

gently caress.

i must compose
Jul 4, 2010

Until the lions have their own historians, the history of the hunt will always glorify the hunter.

Nckdictator posted:

Paul Powell was a racist pedo rapist who attempted to rape and then murdered his neighbor and actually raped and nearly murdered her sister after he found out she had a black boyfriend.
He was an utterly odious person and boasted about his crime in prison along with mailing mocking letters to the victims mother.

He was sentenced to death but the Virginia Supreme Court overturned his death sentence on the ground that there was no proof that he attempted to rape the girl he killed.

Well, there was no proof until Powell decided to write a letter to the prosecutor gloating about the overturned death penalty.


Unfortunately for Powell he misunderstood the law and with his confession in such graphic detail he was resentenced to death and executed a few years later.

LOL what a turd. Mega self owned.

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Kitfox88
Aug 21, 2007

Anybody lose their glasses?

BrianRx posted:

This is so loving bad. I had to take a minute to calm down after reading it, and it's just a Wikipedia page. I cannot believe how long he was active. He got caught like 80% of the time he did it. He wasn't at all clever or subtle in committing the attacks yet he was able to create a complicated code for his journal, so he wasn't a dummy. He was like a robot that was programmed to do one terrible, horrible thing, and he did it over and over until someone finally was like "well seven kids was stretching it, but eight is just too many" and actually put him in jail for life.

gently caress.

American justice system is loving worthless aye.

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