Let's Read Animorphs! The Whole Series! Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

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Soup du Jour: Sep 8, 2011; I always knew I'd die with a headache.

disaster pastor posted:

Literally the only bad thing about this book is that it's the start of Scholastic forcing KAA to alternate Tobias and Ax books instead of each of them getting a book in each "cycle."

On the other hand, it does kind of work out for them: there are only one or two Ax books below "great" quality, and I don't think Tobias has a single one (though some of his are not fun, exactly). I don't think I can say that about the others. Maybe Marco?

Ax and Tobias both only have one bad book apiece, but while Marco has a couple that are filler every one of his outside those massively advances the plot so I think I have to give the trophy to him. At the least, none of them are poor Rachel.

Also god I forgot how strong this book is looking back. It's so excellent.

# ? Sep 6, 2020 03:44

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# ? May 24, 2024 17:09

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Tree Bucket posted:

That's really interesting. I wonder what the rationale was? "hey now, as if kids are gonna relate to characters who feel isolated from their families and different from their peers!"

Pretty much. I think it was something like Scholastic figured kids could relate to other kids like them than an alien and a kid who's now a hawk.

# ? Sep 6, 2020 03:49

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

One�s an alien, one�s a hawk. They fight crime.

# ? Sep 6, 2020 04:38

OctaviusBeaver: Apr 30, 2009; Say what now?

I'm struggling to imagine what's going inside a children's book publisher's head to think that kids wouldn't be interested in reading about bird boy and an alien. Maybe no-one at Scholastic had ever met a child?

# ? Sep 6, 2020 05:24

Mazerunner: Apr 22, 2010; Good Hunter, what... what is this post?

Epicurius posted:

Pretty much. I think it was something like Scholastic figured kids could relate to other kids like them than an alien and a kid who's now a hawk.

well, I guess the best thing you could say is at least they didn't lump 'girl/black/latino' in there too

# ? Sep 6, 2020 06:14

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Mazerunner posted:

well, I guess the best thing you could say is at least they didn't lump 'girl/black/latino' in there too

Yea. I guess they figured girls/blacks/latinos might read the book, but hawks and aliens probably wouldn't.

It's pretty dumb.

# ? Sep 6, 2020 06:47

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

Publishers are dipshits. They also held (and maybe still do) that girls will read books about boys, but boys won't read books about girls. Meanwhile Northern Lights (and in Australia, the Tomorrow series) was a critical and commercial smash hit. Kids don't actually give a poo poo about marketing or demographics or whatever, they just read what they like. Authors know what they're doing; publishers are basically just marketing and PR suits.

Also jeez - I know it's a kid's book, but that last chapter, boy howdy, the Animorphs sure are the product of an American middle school history curriculum.

# ? Sep 6, 2020 07:42

Turpitude II: Nov 10, 2014

there is something very charmingly naive about the belief that humanity would or could not act as a conquering plague given enough technological advancement. :v:

but the sentiment of the ending is both believable enough coming from them, and kind and hopeful enough, that i can accept it.

looking forward to the next book. i remember a lot of little bits and pieces of these books, but cassie's characterisation of nature as "blood red" instead of green in particular really stuck in my brain.

# ? Sep 6, 2020 08:51

Fuschia tude: Dec 26, 2004; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019

disaster pastor posted:

Literally the only bad thing about this book is that it's the start of Scholastic forcing KAA to alternate Tobias and Ax books instead of each of them getting a book in each "cycle."

On the other hand, it does kind of work out for them: there are only one or two Ax books below "great" quality, and I don't think Tobias has a single one (though some of his are not fun, exactly). I don't think I can say that about the others. Maybe Marco?

I thought I remembered an interview she gave back in the day that it was her idea, because she didn't think people would be able to relate to a space alien and someone trapped in a bird form. Turns out they really, really did, so they were going to break them apart after the next cycle or so (I assume after they published the backlog of already written books). But maybe it's been too many decades so I am conflating them now?

# ? Sep 6, 2020 09:11

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

I remember it being Scholastic but maybe it was her. On an unrelated note I was googling to try to find such an interview, and instead came upon a list of Tobias' morphs which triggered a memory of what happens when he has to acquire a dolphin which I remember being one of the best comic set pieces in the series

# ? Sep 6, 2020 11:10

Radio Free Kobold: Aug 11, 2012; "Federal regulations mandate that at least 30% of our content must promote Reptilian or Draconic culture. This is DJ Scratch N' Sniff with the latest mermaid screeching on KBLD..."

If you give Humans spaceships and FTL, we definitely won't be as bad as the yeerks. We'll be even worse.

# ? Sep 6, 2020 12:22

Skypie: Sep 28, 2008

Radio Free Kobold posted:

If you give Humans spaceships and FTL, we definitely won't be as bad as the yeerks. We'll be even worse.

There's a series of Tumblr posts somewhere imagining humans as basically the weirdest things in the galaxy and how other lifeforms struggle to comprehend human nature. It's full of stuff like "humans can and will bond with anything. Please provide them with a safe pet or else they will get mauled attempting to cuddle predatory animals."

Or an excerpt about a human ship crashing on an inhospitable planet and the local aliens write it off as a total loss. Another human ship comes by asking about it and goes to check up, later reporting that 40% of the crew survived by using the wreckage as shelter and components to start a mini-farm and the aliens being flabbergasted by it.

It's all very sorta optimistic and hopeful, which I kinda prefer to the truth that yeah, humans will gently caress up a lot of stuff in the name of expansion and resources

# ? Sep 6, 2020 13:04

Homora Gaykemi: Apr 30, 2020; by Fluffdaddy

look, that planet had space ~~oil~~ WMDs, we had to go "liberate" the local species

# ? Sep 6, 2020 21:48

nine-gear crow: Aug 10, 2013

Radio Free Kobold posted:

If you give Humans spaceships and FTL, we definitely won't be as bad as the yeerks. We'll be even worse.

This is why I say that it strikes me as somewhat odd that somewhere along the line the Yeerks didn't realize humanity's true destructive potential with the right tools at their disposal and just try to make a full proper ally out of them. Humans are gullible as poo poo and love a good war against a sufficiently mythologized boogeyman, and it would take basically zero effort for the Yeerks to go "Hey, so there's this evil race of psychic blue elf centaurs with scorpion tails out there and they basically genocided our race for having the temerity to simply exist alongside them. They're coming here and they're going to turn this planet into a glass parking lot because they see humanity as potential rival and this is what they do when they perceive a threat to their galactic hegemony, just ask the last species they tried to genocide--us."

And people would be RUNNING to the recruitment booths like it was loving Starship Troopers.

# ? Sep 6, 2020 21:57

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Gee, I wonder why a kids book about aliens trying to take over the human race doesn't take the position, "You know, really, humanity is an aggressive plague, and we should be destroyed so we don't enslave the galaxy.", and have its protagonists argue for it?

# ? Sep 6, 2020 22:05

Ravenfood: Nov 4, 2011

nine-gear crow posted:

This is why I say that it strikes me as somewhat odd that somewhere along the line the Yeerks didn't realize humanity's true destructive potential with the right tools at their disposal and just try to make a full proper ally out of them. Humans are gullible as poo poo and love a good war against a sufficiently mythologized boogeyman, and it would take basically zero effort for the Yeerks to go "Hey, so there's this evil race of psychic blue elf centaurs with scorpion tails out there and they basically genocided our race for having the temerity to simply exist alongside them. They're coming here and they're going to turn this planet into a glass parking lot because they see humanity as potential rival and this is what they do when they perceive a threat to their galactic hegemony, just ask the last species they tried to genocide--us."

And people would be RUNNING to the recruitment booths like it was loving Starship Troopers.

On the other hand, brain-controlling slugs aren't the most...nongross ambassadors?

# ? Sep 6, 2020 23:19

OctaviusBeaver: Apr 30, 2009; Say what now?

Plus I don't think they just want to beat the andalites, they also want hosts. Life as a Yeerk is pretty miserable without hosts.

# ? Sep 6, 2020 23:21

Gun Jam: Apr 11, 2015

Openly negotiating and lying through the metaphorical teeth is only one option. Being honest about what you want is another - "Hello, we are aliens, we want to purchase slaves from you. Can we make a deal?" could very well be met with "what do you have to offer?".
Problem could be the Yeerk empire psych - talking ain't the first option, not when conquest or infiltration could do.

e: of course, considering what happened last time they saw a primitive culture being uplifted (namely, themselves), might makes them wary about giving anybody things.

# ? Sep 6, 2020 23:39

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

I don't think it's a stretch to say the Yeerks enjoy subjugation either.

# ? Sep 6, 2020 23:46

Terror Sweat: Mar 15, 2009

Lol slavery is still legal in the states, it's an easy sell to just hand over prisoners and other undesirables to be taken over by yeerks in exchange for technology and an alliance

"If he didn't want to be taken over by that slug he shouldn't have done those drugs"

# ? Sep 6, 2020 23:54

Mazerunner: Apr 22, 2010; Good Hunter, what... what is this post?

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

I don't think it's a stretch to say the Yeerks enjoy subjugation either.

yeah it's basically you've got this slave permanently in 'your' head every second mentally screaming at you

if you start to emphasize with them, well, sure you can try to be a 'nice' master but eventually you hit the wall of "Holy poo poo, I'm a monster for doing this"

but the yeerks that are cruel and enjoy the suffering just keep on. and then they're ruthless enough to cut-throat advance through the ranks, creating and enforcing a culture of violence, backstabbing and self-interest even with the nicer yeerks

# ? Sep 6, 2020 23:56

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Book 9:The Secret-Chapter 1

quote:

My name is Cassie.

I can�t tell you my last name. I wish I could. It�s kind of a nice last name.

And I can�t tell you where I live or the true names of my friends. Why? Because the enemy never stops looking for us.

The enemy. The Yeerks. They�re everywhere.

The Yeerks: a parasitic species from a far-distant planet. All they are is little gray slugs, really. I�ve seen them in their natural state. They look like big snails without the shell. You could squash one under your foot and it would be helpless to stop you.

But the Yeerks don�t live out their lives as slugs. Like I said, they are parasites. See, they enter the head of another species, flatten themselves out, and wrap themselves around the brain. And then they take control.

That�s what we call a Controller. A human who isn�t exactly human anymore. Or a member of any species that is controlled by the Yeerk in its head.

Maybe you think what I�ve just told you sounds crazy. I guess if I were you, I�d think it was pretty insane. But sometimes even the craziest things happen to be true.

The Yeerks are here. Everywhere. If you think you don�t know someone who is a Controller, you�re probably wrong.

The school bus driver, the police officer in the patrol car, the minister in the pulpit, the newsman on TV, the rock star in the music video, the person who smiles at you when you ride by on your bike - any one of them might be a Controller. Your teacher, your friend, your sister, your mother and father.

Any of them. All of them. And you�ll never know. Until it�s too late.

Until it is too late for planet Earth.

We fight them. But we�re just a handful of kids - Jake, Rachel, Marco, Tobias, Ax, and me. We have some special powers, but we know we can�t win this alone. We fight in the hope that someday - someday soon - the Andalites will return and help us.

It was an Andalite prince named Elfangor who gave us our powers. He was dying. He was desperate. He wanted to do something to help doomed humanity. He gave us the power to morph. To absorb the DNA of any animal we could touch. To become that animal.

So we fight the Yeerks and all their Controllers. The human-Controllers who may once have been our friends and relations. The evil, cannibalistic Taxxon-Controllers, those huge centipedes with their open, gnashing mouths and foul smell. And the deadly, dangerous, but formerly good creatures
called Hork-Bajir - the enslaved foot soldiers of the Yeerk empire.

And we fight Visser Three. Leader of the Yeerk invasion of Earth. The only Andalite-Controller in existence. The only Yeerk who, like us, has the power to morph.

The murderer of Elfangor. A killer. A destroyer. The creature who would make slaves of all humans and destroy our planet.
Unless someone stops him. Unless we stop him.

Five ordinary kids and a young Andalite we call Ax, against all the might of the Yeerk empire.

We call ourselves Animorphs.

Are people really picking up the series for the first time now? Do we really need to go through this every single time?

quote:

We�re only supposed to use our power for fighting the Yeerks. But there are times when it comes in handy for other things.
My best friend Rachel and I were at school, in the dark and gloomy science lab. The final bell had rung and kids were tearing out of there at top speed, running for the buses or their parents� cars.

You know how it is - when the school day is over you just want out of there. But I had been messing up in school lately. See, I have kind of a busy life. My dad runs the Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic in our barn. I help out there, taking care of injured or sick animals. Plus the whole Animorph thing takes up a lot of time.

Anyway, I had to do a makeup project for science class. I built a maze for a rat I�d named nCourtney. I mean, I figured an animal project would be easy for me. I�ve been more animals than a lot of kids have seen.

Courtney was supposed to find her way through the cardboard maze to the end, where I had placed some tasty seeds and nuts. Then I would make notes on her progress. How hard could that be?

Rachel stared at me. She tapped her foot impatiently. She looked down at her watch. Then she looked up at the clock on the wall.

�You know, school�s been out for ten minutes, and here I am, still at school. This can�t be right. It�s unnatural.�

�Why can�t she figure out the maze?� I wondered out loud. �What�s the problem?�

�A stupid rat? Er, I mean, maybe you have a not very smart rat. That could be the subject of your paper - �My Dumb Rat.��

�What is the problem with you?� I demanded, ignoring Rachel and talking directly to the rat. I took Courtney from her cage and stuck her in the high-walled maze. �Smell the nuts. Smell the nuts and then find your way through the maze.�

Courtney looked up at me and twitched her nose.

�That�s not an answer,� I said. �I need this grade. I am not going to try and explain a D to my parents just because you can�t get it together.�

�A D!� Rachel echoed. �You�re looking at a D? No way.�

�Rachel, why do you think I�m here? Because I�m trying to go from an A to an A+? Yes. I am looking at a D. And I can�t bring my parents a D. That would mean weeks of them going, �Where did we go wrong? We must be failing as parents. We have to spend more time with Cassie, helping her every night with her homework.��

Rachel shuddered at the absolute horror of that scenario.

�Hey,� Rachel said. �Morph the rat. Maybe you can see what his � her � its problem is.�

�I could do that,� I said slowly. �But see, if Jake found out � You know the rule. No morphing except when necessary.�

Rachel shrugged. �It�s necessary that I get out of here. It�s necessary that you don�t get a bad grade. Look at that - two necessities at once!�

I probably shouldn�t have let her talk me into it. Except, actually, I�d already been considering it.

That�s the great thing about Rachel - she�s always willing to help talk you into doing something you probably shouldn�t do.

�You have to do it, too,� I said.

�Why? Why do I have to morph a rat?�

�Remember the time you wanted to scare that guy with the elephants? Wasn�t I there for you then? Besides, we can�t leave till I try to figure this out.�

Rachel rolled her eyes. �Ooookay. That made absolutely no sense, but I�ll do it anyway. Let�s just get it over with.�

Acquiring an animal�s DNA isn�t very complicated. All you do is touch it, and focus your mind on the animal. The animal gets kind of sleepy, kind of dopey. In a minute it�s all over, and a new DNA pattern is swimming around inside you.

�I have the feeling this is a stupid idea,� Rachel said.

I was piling up books to make steps so we could climb into the maze once we morphed.

�Well, it was your idea, Rachel.�

�Oh, yeah. My idea. Like I�m the one who cares how the rat handles a maze. Let�s get this over with before someone decides to check in on us,� she said. Already, she was beginning to change.

I focused my thoughts, forming a mental picture of the rat. And then � I felt the change begin.

I was shrinking. Shrinking very fast. For a human, I�m not very big. In fact, I�m kind of short. But I was a lot bigger than a rat, so it was a pretty big change in size.

My T-shirt and my jeans were suddenly very loose.

I looked at Rachel. Huge long whiskers were growing out of her still-human mouth.

The side of the cabinets beside me grew higher and higher. They had originally been maybe three feet high. Soon they seemed as tall as a three-story building. The grain in the wood looked like huge swirling patterns, like strange paintings the size of murals.

The one-foot squares of tan and green linoleum seemed to double and triple and quadruple in size, until each was as big as a parking space.

As I shrank, my clothes folded and billowed down over me like a collapsed circus tent.

My skin turned a sort of pinkish-gray, then suddenly sprouted white fur. My legs were shriveling. My arms were shriveling. My face bulged like a zit about to pop. My nose poked way out, farther and farther. My face became pointed.

And then, the rat�s senses replaced my own.

On came the ears, like someone had thrown a switch. On came the nose. And on came the rat�s instincts, bubbling up in my human mind and carrying their messages of fear and hunger and more fear.

<Yikes!> Rachel commented. <Nervous little things, aren�t they?>

We know that whenever they morph into something for non-Yeerk fighting reasons, something goes wrong. Any guesses on what it's going to be this time?

Chapter 2

quote:

The rat�s eyes weren�t any better than my own. In fact, they weren�t quite as good. Like lots of animals I�ve been, the eyes were better at seeing movement than at seeing colors and shapes. Nothing was moving, so my vision was kind of, I don�t know � kind of dull.

I could see Rachel well enough, though. We were made from the same rat�s DNA, so were basically the same rat. I could see her long, naked pink tail. That tail is the reason people hate rats, but think squirrels are cute.

That, plus the fact that rats have been known to nibble on humans from time to time.

The rat�s hearing was excellent, but it was its sense of smell that was really amazing. I twitched my little rat nose and the whole world sent me messages.

I smelled the chemicals in the cabinets. I smelled the lingering aromas of hundreds of different kids who had passed through the room that day. I even smelled the seeds and nuts in the maze, up on the table.

I felt the rat�s brain beginning to surge more strongly up beneath my own. The rat instincts were coming out. Fear. Not the sharp sudden fear a human might feel. It was the eternal fear of a small animal in a world of great big predators.

And the hunger. The hunger of a tiny animal who will spend its entire life, every single minute of its life, searching for its next meal.

But there was also the intelligence.

When you morph an animal, its instincts come through. You don�t get its memories, usually, but you do get its instincts. Its basic abilities are there.

This rat was very nervous. It was afraid of being out in the open. It wanted to be next to the wall so that enemies would have a harder time attacking it. I decided that wasn�t a bad instinct.

<Maybe we should get somewhere safer?> I asked Rachel in thought-speak.

<Oh, yes, definitely,> she agreed.

The little rat legs powered up and we took off. Not fast, really, but it seemed fast because I was so low to the ground. My nose was just a quarter of an inch above the linoleum. As I waddle-walked along I saw huge walls looming over me - the sides of the lab tables. And I saw sparse forests of trees - actually the legs of chairs.

I scooted along the corner of the wall with Rachel right behind me.

<That is not an attractive tail,> Rachel said. <I mean, I�m a rat and I still think it looks bad.>

Then I saw the table where my maze was set up. The real Courtney was up there. I checked out the area.

<I think we can climb up my backpack onto the chair. Then onto my sweater, then jump to the tabletop.>

<I�m following you,> Rachel said. <Lead the way, Rat-girl.>

The rat body was amazingly good at climbing and scampering up to the tabletop. You wouldn�t think that squat body and those stubby little legs would be good for climbing, but I really do believe that rat could have gone just about anywhere it wanted to go.

I saw the pile of books I�d left as a sort of stairway up the outer wall of the maze. And now that I was rat-sized, that wall really was a wall. It looked about nine feet high.

<You go do the maze,> Rachel said. <I�ll wait out here.>

I scampered quickly up over the books. The pictures on the front of my science book looked like huge mosaics made of colored tiles.

I reached the top and gazed down into the maze. I knew I could jump down in there, down into those long hallways, but at that moment I was afraid. It was odd, but the idea of running into the real Courtney made me nervous. I�ve always felt a little funny about using animals� bodies. It makes me feel a little guilty somehow.

But I had a job to do. I had to figure out why Courtney couldn�t find the nuts. She should be able to smell them �

<Hey. Wait a minute. I can�t smell them, either. Not at all.>

<Can�t smell what?> Rachel asked.

<The nuts. I can�t smell them.>

<Do I care?>

<It�s the whole point,> I said.

I looked around, puzzled. Then I noticed the breeze. I aimed my rat eyes upward. There, a million miles up, as far away as the moon, was a ceiling fan. If I�d had lips, I would have smiled.

<Hey. It�s the fan. It�s blowing the scent of the nuts away.>

<Great. Now can we get out of here?>

I was feeling pretty satisfied with my insight when two things happened at once. First, Courtney - the real Courtney - came zooming around the corner of the maze.

The second thing was that I heard a loud crash, a roar of loud laughter, and the rushing approach of footsteps.
Courtney froze and stared at me. I stared at her. Then I looked back at Rachel. Rachel was frozen, same as me.

�HEY, LOOK! RATS!� an impossibly loud voice shouted. A boy, I was sure of that. I didn�t recognize the specific voice, but I recognized the tone. He was looking for trouble.

�GROSS!� another voice shouted. �SOMEONE SHOULD EXTERMINATE �EM. I HATE RATS!�

There we go. The problem was idiots.

quote:

Two of them. Two guys playing around. Two jerks looking for something to break or destroy.

Two very, very big creatures compared to us tiny rats.

Sudden shadows! Vibrations. Huge movements!

WHAM!

The table shook like it was hit by a massive earthquake!

WHAM! THUD!

A shadow, moving fast, descending on me. I jumped!

THUD!

The tabletop jumped from the impact of the boy�s hand slamming down near me.

I felt the maze being lifted. It tilted wildly up on its side. I could see the entire maze, now a wall instead of a floor.

Courtney fell out of the maze onto the table. Now there were three of us, trapped on the tabletop.

�HERE! A BROOM!�

<Bail!> Rachel yelled.

<Run!> I cried.

THWACK!

Something the size of a pine tree slapped the surface of the table. It was a broom handle. The handle swept across the table, coming right at us, a wooden log half my own height.

I jumped. Rats don�t look like jumpers, but when they have to, they can.

Up! Over the broom handle, Rachel right beside me. I saw Courtney haul in the other direction.

Run! Run! Run! Rachel and I moved out at top rat speed.

The edge of the table!

It was like standing on the edge of a four-story building. It looked like a very, very long way down. Then, a shadow! A disturbance in the airflow! No time to look! No time to think!

<Aaaaahhhh!>

<Aaaaahhhh!>

We leaped from the edge of the table just as the broom handle slammed down in the very spot where we�d been standing.

The fall seemed to take forever. It was like skydiving. The linoleum tiles looked like some strange farmlands far beneath me.

I hit the floor hard. My legs didn�t catch the impact. They were too short. My big furry belly took the blow. But it knocked the wind out of me.

As my mind cleared, I realized the guys were no longer after me and Rachel. They had Courtney in a corner. They were jabbing at her with the broom handle.

<Oh, man,> I said.

<If we survive, Jake is going to kill me for this.>

<I�m tired of running,> Rachel said. <Let�s kick some butt.>

That, of course, is classic Rachel. We were each about a foot long, counting our tail. So naturally, she thought we should attack some guys the size of Godzilla.

But you know what? I was tired of running, too. And I couldn�t let poor Courtney get killed. She was more than just a science project. Now she was sort of a sister rat.

I aimed right for the leg of the nearest guy. It was the size of a redwood, except that this redwood was blue. Baggy blue denim.

<Are you thinking what I�m thinking?> I asked Rachel.

<I�m with you,> she said.

We motored our tiny rat feet and shot forward. Faster, faster, as fast as we could go. Which, happily, turned out to be fairly fast.

Up the pants leg! I saw a flash of skin above the socks. I went for it. My tiny clawed feet grabbed onto that white gym sock and went straight up.
It was like going into a tunnel. The rough denim of the jeans scraped along my head and back.

The pink flesh curved away beneath me. I dug my claws, front and back, into the skin and hairs of that huge leg, and shot wildly up the back of his leg.

�AAAAAAHHHHHH!�

Suddenly, the boy was no longer interested in Courtney.

�AAAAAAHHHHHH! IT�S ON ME! IT�S ON ME! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF MEEEEE!�

�NOOOO! OH! OH! OH!� the other boy screamed, as Rachel attacked.

<Yaaahhhh!> I cried, as the leg was thrown wildly back and forth. I slammed against the denim wall. I was slammed back against the curved pink skin. I scrambled wildly to hold on as the boy screamed and ran and shook his leg like a lunatic.

�AAAAAHHH! AAAAAAHHH! AAAAAHHHH!�

Out of the science lab we tore. Out into the hallway, with the two guys screaming the whole way.

I turned myself around, with great difficulty, and aimed downward. Out I shot. Out of the pants leg to freedom.

The last I saw of the two guys, they were still running in sheer panic.

I never did see Courtney again. I guess she found a place to live in the school walls. At least I�d figured out why she wouldn�t go through the maze.

Rachel and I found a safe place to demorph. Then we went to her house and gave her little sister a home perm. Business as usual.

Jake's going to be pissed. But those boys deserved it.

# ? Sep 6, 2020 23:58

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Interesting bit of foreshadowing there.

You could squash one under your foot and it would be helpless to stop you. This is exactly Visser One's eventual fate

# ? Sep 7, 2020 00:02

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

Epicurius posted:

Gee, I wonder why a kids book about aliens trying to take over the human race doesn't take the position, "You know, really, humanity is an aggressive plague, and we should be destroyed so we don't enslave the galaxy.", and have its protagonists argue for it?

Yeah, even I wouldn't be that downcast about it, I just thought it was amusing that the Animorphs take a full Braveheart freeeeeeedom view of their species.

Applegate herself doesn't exactly go full Howard Zinn about it, but she definitely ends up presenting a more nuanced view than Yeerks = bad, Andalites = good as the series progresses.

# ? Sep 7, 2020 00:20

SardonicTyrant: Feb 26, 2016; BTICH IM A NEWT
熱くなれ夢みた明日を
必ずいつかつかまえる
走り出せ振り向くことなく
&

I mean, they're 90s kids, they're at the end of history and things are looking up.

# ? Sep 7, 2020 00:43

wizzardstaff: Apr 6, 2018; Zorch! Splat! Pow!

Gun Jam posted:

Openly negotiating and lying through the metaphorical teeth is only one option. Being honest about what you want is another - "Hello, we are aliens, we want to purchase slaves from you. Can we make a deal?" could very well be met with "what do you have to offer?".
Problem could be the Yeerk empire psych - talking ain't the first option, not when conquest or infiltration could do.

e: of course, considering what happened last time they saw a primitive culture being uplifted (namely, themselves), might makes them wary about giving anybody things.

This is basically the plot of the Torchwood "Children of Earth" arc which as I recall stands up very well on its own without familiarity with the rest of the TV show.

# ? Sep 7, 2020 01:36

SardonicTyrant: Feb 26, 2016; BTICH IM A NEWT
熱くなれ夢みた明日を
必ずいつかつかまえる
走り出せ振り向くことなく
&

Gun Jam posted:

Openly negotiating and lying through the metaphorical teeth is only one option. Being honest about what you want is another - "Hello, we are aliens, we want to purchase slaves from you. Can we make a deal?" could very well be met with "what do you have to offer?".
Problem could be the Yeerk empire psych - talking ain't the first option, not when conquest or infiltration could do.

e: of course, considering what happened last time they saw a primitive culture being uplifted (namely, themselves), might makes them wary about giving anybody things.

To be fair, they don't know humans that well, even up to this point in the series, so they wouldn't realize our leaders absolutely would sell us out for power.

# ? Sep 7, 2020 02:40

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

SardonicTyrant posted:

To be fair, they don't know humans that well, even up to this point in the series, so they wouldn't realize our leaders absolutely would sell us out for power.

Imagine what would happen if the Yeerks rolled up to Donald Trump and promised to guarantee him a second term.

# ? Sep 7, 2020 02:48

nine-gear crow: Aug 10, 2013

Piell posted:

Imagine what would happen if the Yeerks rolled up to Donald Trump and promised to guarantee him a second term.

<Iniss, I've found a new host for you. You're going to be President starting tomorrow.>

"But... My Visser... Isn't--"

<Yes.>

# ? Sep 7, 2020 02:50

Skypie: Sep 28, 2008

Piell posted:

Imagine what would happen if the Yeerks rolled up to Donald Trump and promised to guarantee him a second term.

Yeerk rolling into Trump's brain: <By the Council, it...it's so empty...>

# ? Sep 7, 2020 13:10

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

Skypie posted:

Yeerk rolling into Trump's brain: <By the Council, it...it's so empty...>

<It's completely smooth, where are the crevices for me to sink into?>

# ? Sep 7, 2020 21:22

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Book 9: The Secret-Chapter 3

quote:

That evening, everyone came over. We usually hook up at the Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic. Also known as my barn.

I guess we all get together once or twice a week. More often when there�s a �mission� of some kind. I was surprised when Jake called to say we should get together because it had only been a couple of days since the last meeting. And as far as I knew, nothing serious had been planned.

I hoped this was only a meeting and nothing else. I had like zero spare time. School. Life. That stuff takes time, you know?

I was cleaning the cages when the others started to arrive. It was a raccoon cage, to be specific.

This raccoon had been hit a glancing blow by a car on the highway. A lot of the highway patrol guys know to call us if they see an injured animal by the road.

The raccoon would be okay, thanks to my dad. But in the meantime, it had to be fed and watered and medicated and its cage had to be kept clean. And all of that was my job.

I was wearing dirty overalls and big tall rubber boots. My arms were deep inside rubber gloves when Rachel showed up.

�Hey, Cassie.�

�Hi, Rachel.� I was bent over, concentrating on wiping out the raccoon�s cage. I could tell the raccoon was seriously considering leaping on my face and chewing my nose.

�Sup Cassie. You get that outfit at Banana Republic? Or is that the new Express line?�

Rachel and I are best friends, but we are very different people. If you just saw Rachel walking by you�d probably think typical airhead mall-crawler. If you took a closer look you�d start to think, No, she�s actually very beautiful, not typical at all. And if you took a third look, she�d probably come over, get in your face, and say, �What are you staring at? Hello? You have some kind of a problem?�

Rachel is tall and blond and beautiful and fearless. She�s Xena: Warrior Princess - only without the leather.

We must be the most mismatched best friends in history. Rachel could walk through the mosh pit at Lollapalooza on a rainy day and come out the other side looking like one of those models in Glamour. I, on the other hand, will show up for my own wedding someday dressed in jeans and boots
and socks that don�t match.

I stood back from the raccoon cage. I smiled and gave a little twirl so Rachel could admire the outfit. �You like it? It�s part of the Ralph Lauren Animal Poop collection.�

�Someday I am going to knock you over the head, stuff you in a big bag, drag you to the mall, and force you to buy a dress. You can keep the big rubber boots, if you insist, but we�re getting you a dress.�

�You�re kidding, right?� I asked Rachel. You can never be totally sure with Rachel.

She just smiled with her ten thousand bright white teeth.

I heard the sound of bikes being leaned up against the outside of the barn. Then I heard male voices.

�Batman could beat Spiderman? You expect me to take that seriously? Are you insane? I thought I knew you, Jake, but you�re obviously an idiot. No offense. Spiderman would annihilate Batman.�

Marco. Marco, sounding as serious as Marco is capable of sounding.

�Two words: body armor. Spiderman�s webs would not stick to Batman�s body armor. Homer, stay out here, boy. You can�t go in.�

First, Spider-man couldn't beat Batman. Also, this is kind of prophetic. The book came out in July, 1997. In October 1997, Marvel and DC came out with a Spider-man/Batman team up comic.

quote:

That would be Jake. And Homer, his dog. Homer is not allowed in the barn. Being a dog, Homer believes small animals are meant to be chased.
Jake and Marco came through the small side door of the barn. Jake was in the lead, as usual.

If we Animorphs have a leader, it�s Jake. He�s strong, inside and out. And really good-looking.

Also inside and out. I mean, he�s just an amazingly cool guy.

Jake has had to grow up a lot in a very short time. It�s weird to be a kid, and yet act like some kind of a general or something. We all decide the big stuff together. But when we�re in a fight, it�s Jake who has to make the little decisions a lot of times. The little decisions that could leave one of his
friends dead.

It made me smile to realize that Jake could still enjoy absurd arguments with Marco. I sort of worry about the pressure on Jake.

Jake and I are kind of � you know. We like each other. As in like.

Marco was just behind Jake. He�s smaller than Jake, with longer, darker hair, laughing, dark eyes, and an attitude.

Marco thinks the whole world is just a setup for a joke. Marco will tell a joke while he�s bleeding and terrified and in pain. But there are times when his eyes lose their skeptical expression and grow glittery and dangerous.

�Cassie,� Marco said, �you look beautiful, as always. Your use of manure as a fashion statement is so tasteful.� Then he gazed at Rachel and winced. �Yikes! Every time I see you, you�re taller. Stop it. Stop growing.�

Rachel patted Marco on his head. �Don�t worry. I don�t look down on you for being short, Marco. I look down on you just for being you.�

Marco grabbed his chest in pain. �Aargh! And Xena puts another spear in me.�

�Hi, Jake,� I said, ignoring the usual Marco-versus-Rachel stuff.

�Hi, Cassie,� he said. He gave me one of his rare, slow smiles. �Hey, I heard this weird story. These two guys at school claim they were attacked by a pair of lab rats.�

�Really? I didn�t hear about that,� I said, trying not to make the fakey, shrill sound I always make when I�m lying.

Jake raised one eyebrow and I quickly went back to cleaning out the cage.

�What are we here for?� Rachel asked bluntly.

Jake shrugged. �Tobias told me to get everyone together. He and Ax have something.�

Right on cue, we heard a flutter of wings. A hawk shot in through the open hayloft above. It turned sharply, killed its speed, swept its talons forward, and landed neatly on a rafter.

Tobias, knowing how to make an entrance.

quote:

It was a red-tailed hawk. Mostly brown on its back, a lighter, mottled brown and tan beneath. The bird took its name from its tail feathers, which were the color of rust.

The hawk glared down at us with unbelievably intense brown and gold eyes.

<Hi,> the hawk said, a silent voice that we heard only in our heads.

�Hi, Tobias,� I answered.

Tobias is the fifth human member of our group. Although he�s not entirely human anymore. See, if you stay more than two hours in a morph, you stay forever.

In his mind and heart, Tobias is still a human being - mostly. But he has the body of a hawk. He lives as a hawk.

�Hi, Tobias,� Rachel said. �I thought maybe you�d stop by last night.�

Tobias sometimes hangs out with Rachel. He flies into her upstairs room and watches TV, or reads. Things he can�t do in the wild. Human things.

<Um, well, I was going to,> he said in thought-speak. <But there was this thing with Ax �>

Ax is Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill. He�s the sixth person in our group. He�s even less human than Tobias. Ax is an Andalite.

�Speaking of which, is Ax coming?� Jake asked.

<No. He�s still out keeping an eye on things. Or four eyes, actually.>

�What things?� Marco asked, beginning to sound impatient.

Tobias swooped down to be closer. He landed on the top edge of a stall door. He checked out the many cages. At the moment we had, in addition to the raccoon, a fox, two wolves, a handful of various bats, a really cool porcupine, a pair of jackrabbits, a deer that had been mauled by a bear, several doves, a goose, a swan cygnet, a whole group of assorted gulls, a beautiful red-winged blackbird, and a barn owl.

<What happened to the golden eagle?> Tobias asked.

�He�s all better so we released him,� I admitted. See, golden eagles occasionally kill and eat hawks. �We released him way back in the hills, though. Nowhere near your territory, Tobias.�

Tobias didn�t look too happy. But then, Tobias has a hawk�s face, so he never looks anything but fierce. Once he was a very sweet, slightly dopey kid. Jake and he met when Jake stopped some bullies from sticking Tobias�s head in the toilet.

<Anyway. I have something to report. It looks like someone is getting ready to start logging in the forest.>

�No way!� I cried.

The others were less upset.

�So what?� Marco asked.

�So habitat will be destroyed! So animals will be made homeless! So old-growth trees will be chopped down to make plywood!� I cried. �That�s so what.�

Marco frowned. �And I care about this � why?�

I started to answer, but Tobias cut me off.

<You don�t care, Marco. But you might care about who is doing the logging.>

�I�m guessing a logging company,� Marco suggested.

<Yeah. You�re right,> Tobias said. <Only this logging company has built a command center deep in the forest. A log building, actually, like you�d expect. Except for one little thing.>

�What one little thing?� Jake asked.

<The building is protected by a force field. A force field that seems to stop anything that gets near. I tried to fly closer, and it was like hitting a wall. Also, there are armed guards walking the perimeter around the building, and patrolling up and down the access road.>

�Oh,� Jake said.

<Guards armed with automatic rifles.>

�Yeerks?� Rachel wondered. �But why would the Yeerks want to be logging in the forest?�

I knew the answer to that question. The Yeerks� plan was all too obvious. �They want to destroy habitat,� I said.

�What? Now the Yeerks are out to destroy the deer and the owls?� Marco said with a dismissive laugh.�

No,� I said. �It�s not owl habitat they want to destroy. They�re after a different species.�

<Yeah,> Tobias agreed. <They�re going to wipe out the habitat of the very, very endangered Animorph.>

Kind of clever of the Yeerks. They know that there's some connection between the Andalites and the forest, especially after Ax's attempt to assassinate Visser Three, so they're tackling the problem at the source.

Book 9: The Secret-Chapter 4

quote:

�The Yeerks are right there in our forest. Fine,� Rachel said with her usual enthusiasm for anything dangerous. �Let�s go take a look.�

�If this is a Yeerk operation, we have to be careful,� Marco said. �They�re expecting us.�

<Expecting us?> Tobias said.

Marco nodded. �Look, the Yeerks believe we�re a band of Andalites, right? They think only

Andalites can morph. They�ve figured out that the forest is the only place a group of Andalites could be hiding. Let�s face it - if we were Andalites, we wouldn�t exactly be able to rent an apartment.�

�So we�d be in the forest. Just like Ax is right now.� Jake nodded. �They want to use the logging operation as a way to go Andalite-hunting.�

�Right. Which means they think we�re out in the forest. So they have to be prepared for an attack. They are going to be totally ready for any strange group of animals that show up.�

I agreed with Marco. But there was another question that was bothering me. �How did they ever get permission to cut trees in a national forest?�

Marco rolled his eyes, like I was being an idiot. �Who cares? The fact is, they did.�

It's a good question, and one Marco should think about.

quote:

�If we�re going to take a look at this place, we can�t show up there in a big group,� Jake said.

�We split up, go in two groups. In different morphs. We see what we see, but we do nothing. Agreed?�

Everyone nodded.

�So. If it�s okay with everyone, I�ll go in with Rachel. I�ll morph the peregrine falcon. Rachel, you can morph your bald eagle. Tobias will show us the way. That�s a lot of excellent eyes to look things over. Cassie, you go in with Marco. Get a different perspective.�

�Why can�t I go with Rachel?� I asked. It�s not that I don�t like Marco. He just grinds my nerves sometimes.

�Because you and Rachel just egg each other on,� Jake said.

He knew about the rat thing. He definitely knew. Still, it kind of bothered me. �Oh, you mean like you and Marco egg each other on?�

Jake nodded and gave me a wink. �You could say that. Yep. Exactly.�

Since we were talking about bad leadership before, I guess its good to point out that this is a sign of good leadership....to know the strengths and weaknesses of your team and plan accordingly.

quote:

Ten minutes later, Marco and I were walking across the far fields of my farm, wading through tall grass toward the edge of the forest.

The forest is huge. It reaches all the way back up into the mountains. Thousands, maybe millions of square miles of pines and oaks and a scattering of birch trees sweep down from the mountains all the way to the edges of town. Our farm is right on the edge. Lots of farms are. And some new housing
developments and so on.

It was a clear evening, so the mountains showed up pink and lavender in the setting sun. There was a cool breeze, loaded with the smell of wildflowers. Two of our horses were grazing off across the field by the fence. It was a safe area, so we let the horses run free at night in nice weather.

Of course, now that wolves were being reintroduced into the forest, we might have to change that. A wolf pack can bring down even a healthy, strong horse. I know. I�ve been a wolf.

And I was getting ready to be one again.

We reached the edge of the forest. It began very suddenly. One step was on grass, the next step was on pine needles and fallen leaves.
It was darker under the trees. And as we walked into the forest it grew darker still. I craned my neck back. Looking up, I could still see blue sky overhead. But the sun was going down, and night was growing near. Creatures of the day were winding down their activities, and creatures of the night
were opening their eyes.

�Might as well morph now,� Marco said.

�Yes. We�ll move faster in wolf morph,� I agreed.

He grinned at me. �Does it ever creep you out? All this morphing, I mean? I still remember the first time. It was so bizarre.�

�It�s still bizarre,� I said.

�Even for you?�

�Why not for me?� I asked.

Marco shrugged. �You�re the morphing queen.�

I laughed. �Oh please. We all morph.�

�Yeah, but even Ax says you have some kind of special talent. Like you have more control or whatever. He says you�re even better than he is.�

�That doesn�t make it any less creepy for me,� I said. �I mean, we�re in the forest, the sun is going down, and I�m getting ready to turn into a wolf. This could be a horror movie.�

�Wolfman.�

�Wolfwoman,� I corrected.

�The Wolf Couple.�

We shoved our outer clothing under some brush, and I began to morph. I focused my mind on the wolf whose DNA was a part of me. Marco and I were actually the identical wolf. We had both absorbed the DNA of the same female.

I felt my jaw stretching and stretching outward. The bones made a slight grinding sound as my small, weak human mouth became the powerful, crushing jaw of the wolf. My human mouth and teeth could barely cut through a tough steak. The wolf jaw and teeth could tear the throat out of a living,
struggling deer.

My gums itched as my teeth grew longer.

�See? Thrat�s whuk I mearrrn,� Marco said, trying to make sounds even as his human tongue and lips disappeared. In a few more seconds he was able to switch to thought-speak.

<See? That�s what I mean. Look at how much better you are at morphing than I am. That looks very creepy, by the way.>

I had controlled the morphing so that the wolf�s head appeared completely formed before anything else happened. I was a completely normal girl with just the downiest growth of fur and a massive, shaggy wolf�s head atop my shoulders.

<I didn�t really think much about it,> I said. <Sometimes my brain just seems to have its own ideas about morphing.>

The rest of the morph continued. My knees reversed direction. My legs grew smaller. Rough pads replaced my feet. The fur on my body grew long and rough and grayish in color.

I fell forward onto my front legs, no longer able to stand.

The wolf�s instincts began to surface, but I had done this morph before, so I could handle them easily. Then the wolf�s senses came on, replacing my human perception.

The forest was an entirely different experience to the wolf. It was as if I had been transported instantly to some totally different place.

My human ears had noticed almost nothing - a bit of wind, a few chirps, the rustling of leaves. But the wolf�s ears heard everything. They heard some large, four-footed animal about a hundred yards to the right. They heard squirrels gnawing acorns in their high nests. They heard insects
crawling beneath the pine-needle floor. They heard cars on the far-distant road.

And the ears were nothing, compared to the sense of smell.

Let me just put it this way - in terms of smell, all humans are blind. We smell nothing. Maybe we smell a flower if it�s right under our nose, or a chocolate cake baking in the oven. But we are the morons of smell.

Wolves are the geniuses of smell. You have no idea. No idea at all what it is like to have that wolf nose.

<Ahhh!> I cried in shock.

<Yeah,> Marco agreed. <I�d forgotten. Wow. Hello!>

It is exactly like being blind and then, all of a sudden, being able to see.

The wolf smelled the horses in our field. The wolf didn�t just smell that they were horses, it smelled that they were fully grown and healthy. The wolf smelled every flower, every tree, every leaf, every mushroom. It smelled water in three different locations and knew which stream was
sweetest.

The wolf smelled a chipmunk, a dozen squirrels, voles, rats, mice, deer, a dead sparrow, a raccoon, no � two raccoons.

And it smelled me. I mean, it smelled my scent from the clothing I had just morphed out of. It smelled the scent of all the birds and animals in my barn that I had touched or even walked near.

It smelled things that were three days old. The human who had walked through these woods days before. The other wolf, an old male, who had passed by. The smell of dogs and cats and trash.

And one very strange smell that I realized had to be the scent of an Andalite - Ax.

When you put it all together in your head - the sense of smell and the hearing - it was as if the entire world around you was crawling and seething and exploding with life.

<Cool,> Marco said.

<Way cool,> I agreed. <Let�s go. Let�s run.>

Wolves like to run.

Wolves like to run.

And with that, we're off on the actual plot.

# ? Sep 8, 2020 01:14

Terror Sweat: Mar 15, 2009

Spiderman would wreck batman

# ? Sep 8, 2020 02:18

Mazerunner: Apr 22, 2010; Good Hunter, what... what is this post?

please, this is the animorphs thread, show some respect and limit yourselves to just bats vs spiders

# ? Sep 8, 2020 03:14

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

What kind of spider because I feel like most bats would beat most spiders

# ? Sep 8, 2020 03:15

QuickbreathFinisher: Sep 28, 2008; by reading this post you have agreed to form a gay socialist micronation.
`

Batman sucks, Jake is a cop

# ? Sep 8, 2020 03:30

wizzardstaff: Apr 6, 2018; Zorch! Splat! Pow!

I think radioactivity might give the spider an edge.

# ? Sep 8, 2020 04:44

QuickbreathFinisher: Sep 28, 2008; by reading this post you have agreed to form a gay socialist micronation.
`

Apropos of nothing, can Ax use thought speak in human morph? I don't see why he wouldn't be able to but I don't actually remember it ever coming up, and it seems like it could be useful in some situations.

# ? Sep 8, 2020 06:27

Homora Gaykemi: Apr 30, 2020; by Fluffdaddy

QuickbreathFinisher posted:

Apropos of nothing, can Ax use thought speak in human morph? I don't see why he wouldn't be able to but I don't actually remember it ever coming up, and it seems like it could be useful in some situations.

the books we've seen so far say that he can't but yeah, it doesn't really make sense to me that he loses that ability in human morph given that the logic for the kids is that they can't use it when they're not morphed while being human is a morph for Ax (and thought speech his normal mode of communication anyway)

i guess they either just didn't think of it that way, or like the tension provided by him not being able to do it while in his human morph or something :shrug:

# ? Sep 8, 2020 07:09

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# ? May 24, 2024 17:09

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Its the rules ok

# ? Sep 8, 2020 08:01

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Read Animorphs! The Whole Series! Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

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