OSHA IV: NO SAFETY - SMOKING FIRST - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > OSHA IV: NO SAFETY - SMOKING FIRST

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priznat: Jul 7, 2009; Let's get drunk and kiss each other all night.

ekuNNN posted:

Nederland.jpg

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_qgeq675CZJ1r0uzl6.mp4

This is absolutely someone who was like �I have AWD! I�m fine in this weather! Wheeeee!�

# ? Sep 9, 2020 22:41

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 12:23

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

it looks like gta 5 for some reason

# ? Sep 9, 2020 22:42

Dirt Road Junglist: Oct 8, 2010; We will be cruel
And through our cruelty
They will know who we are

ekuNNN posted:

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_qgeq675CZJ1r0uzl6.mp4

I think that's the pass outside of Boulder, MT :stonk:

They definitely got a shitload of snow this weekend.

# ? Sep 9, 2020 22:48

Relentless: Sep 22, 2007; It's a perfect day for some mayhem!

Dirt Road Junglist posted:

I think that's the pass outside of Boulder, MT They definitely got a shitload of snow this weekend.

Jefferson County Sheriff's SUV, that's definitely the Boulder Hill.

# ? Sep 9, 2020 22:53

starkebn: May 18, 2004; "Oooh, got a little too serious. You okay there, little buddy?"

LifeSunDeath posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cj3SI81JXp0

Even if they think they're doing it ironically, these reaction video thumbnails just make me not want to watch the content

# ? Sep 9, 2020 23:00

Whooping Crabs: Apr 13, 2010; Sorry for the derail but I fuckin love me some racoons

LifeSunDeath posted:

Looks like he's drying extract with a heat gun, extract that's emitting butane vapor, in a confined area.

My name is Inigo Montoya. You spilled my bong water. Prepare to fry.

# ? Sep 9, 2020 23:05

Endymion FRS MK1: Oct 29, 2011; I don't know what this thing is, and I don't care. I'm just tired of seeing your stupid newbie av from 2011.

starkebn posted:

Even if they think they're doing it ironically, these reaction video thumbnails just make me not want to watch the content

If I'm remembering right from a Linus Tech Tips video, they actually do help a ton. He didn't like doing it but he couldn't argue with the results

# ? Sep 9, 2020 23:54

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

starkebn posted:

Even if they think they're doing it ironically, these reaction video thumbnails just make me not want to watch the content

yeah sorry, people were linking this guy and his vids are ok but he's all in on being a youtuber.

# ? Sep 9, 2020 23:55

FUCK SNEEP: Apr 21, 2007

That thumbnail owns though?

# ? Sep 10, 2020 00:07

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

A White Guy posted:

My job involves working with trouble men and lineman. The first time I called one, my boss warned me that they're drama queens. And the four times I've had to talk to one since, they've all been little piss babies. Hth

My company did a lot of testing for linemen in training, and one of them wore a shirt with ORGASM DONOR on it for his ID photo. The way it was cropped it wouldn't have shown up, but it was just so trashy and dumb that we couldn't help but gently caress with him.

We cropped the photo so it just had "ORGASM" visible and sent it to the training center's administrator, telling her that that's what would be on the photo. They spent a day yelling at the guy and making him climb up and down the pole as punishment, and even writing an apology letter to us. Felt good.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 02:49

eggyolk: Nov 8, 2007

Mozi posted:

it looks like gta 5 for some reason

That's gotta be a video game clip.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 02:55

aas Bandit: Sep 28, 2001; Oompa Loompa; Nap Ghost

chitoryu12 posted:

making him climb up and down the pole as punishment

Is that what they're calling it now?

# ? Sep 10, 2020 03:13

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

https://i.imgur.com/xeSaPgf.gifv

:rip:

Phoenix, Oregon

McGavin fucked around with this message at 04:05 on Sep 10, 2020

# ? Sep 10, 2020 03:51

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

McGavin posted:

Phoenix, Oregon

It will rise from the ashes.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 04:10

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

I'm the propane tank on the forklift that's on fire.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 04:12

Cojawfee: May 31, 2006; I think the US is dumb for not using Celsius

How did the tank on the forklift in the middle of a parking lot catch on fire.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 04:14

PainterofCrap: Oct 17, 2002; hey bebe

There are a lot of greasy bits on hoisting equipment. Probably worked its way up there from the seat.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 04:14

Nenonen: Oct 22, 2009; Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

Cojawfee posted:

How did the tank on the forklift in the middle of a parking lot catch on fire.

Heat transfers through the air, and a building fire can be plenty hot. Pressurized gas tanks are vulnerable to extreme heat, even just lying in the sun on a very hot day could cause damage.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 04:28

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

Nothing so complicated, it's probably raining embers there right now.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 04:35

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1Zh_ZXdpsk&t=598s

Watch this for a minute (starting ten minutes in) and these guys jump a kerb in front of a police station, pass a guy on a bicycle, drive past a loud gas leak, and take their truck through a field of tall grass.

e: That�s the most exciting thing that happens in their videos.

https://twitter.com/duck_rogue/status/1303733963148550149

Platystemon fucked around with this message at 05:12 on Sep 10, 2020

# ? Sep 10, 2020 04:39

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

So I bought Action Park: Fast Times, Wild Rides, and the Untold Story of America's Most Dangerous Amusement Park. It's the autobiography of Andy Mulvihill, son of the founder of Action Park, and does a lot to explain the full story behind the world's most dangerous amusement park. It clarifies a lot of urban legends and provides even crazier stories than the public knew about. Were you considering buying it? This excerpt should tell you all you need to know.

For your reading pleasure: The Bailey Ball.

quote:

We all stared at the ball.

The ball was a giant plastic sphere at least ten feet in diameter. It resembled the kind of thing you stuck a hamster in, except this ball was scaled for a human. A human who would, by virtue of being willing to climb inside, presumably possess an intellect comparable to that very same hamster.

I don�t know how the ball had been transported here. It had been absent one day and here the next. No one thought it unusual. Workers walked by it without comment. In my father�s orbit, the sudden appearance of a medieval-looking contraption was simply not remarkable.

�Go on and get in the ball, Frank,� my father said.

I turned to look at Frank, a thirty-something who gave off the chill-dude vibe of someone who ate cereal for dinner. Frank was apparently an employee of the resort�s wintertime operations. I had never seen him before. Depending on what my father had planned, I might never see him again.

�Mr. Mulvihill,� he said. �Mr. Mulvihill, I don�t think�.�.�.�

�Come on,� my father said. �You�ll be fine.�

Frank touched the surface as though it were an alien spacecraft made of a strange alloy. He nudged it as though physical contact might reveal its mysteries. The ball wobbled a bit before growing still. He slid a hand behind the railing surrounding the exterior. It got stuck, prompting a brief panic. With a sheepish grin, Frank plucked it out.

This would soon be the least of Frank�s problems.

Inside this ball was another ball, one equipped with a seat and a shoulder harness, like the kind found in race cars (just not our race cars). Ball bearings separated the inner ball from the larger exterior ball, which allowed the inner ball to swivel independently and orient itself so that the seat always remained upright. Behind Frank, stretching in a zigzag pattern down the foot of the mountain, was a long track made from PVC piping like the kind used in plumbing, five or six inches in diameter. On the outer surface of the ball were casters and wheels like the kind found on office chairs. With these context clues, I began to understand Frank�s apprehension.

�Once you�re in the ball, Frank,� Gene said. �You�re going to roll along that track�.�.�.�

�I don�t think��

�Don�t worry,� my father said, acting as though climbing into a giant ball was routine. �You�ll roll along the track and come to a gentle stop. You get in there and try it out, and we�ll take it for a spin when the ride inspectors come.�

Before Frank could protest further, my father handed him a one-hundred-dollar bill. Frank stared at the cash, temporarily placated. He opened a hatch on the ball and Charlie and Big Al helped him in. Once Frank was strapped to the seat, the two began rolling him around the grass like they were bored children playing with a toy, shoving him from one side to another. Inside, a stoic Frank remained upright. Mostly. The seat sometimes drooped to the side, leaving Frank to rotate into the fetal position, knees bunched up to his torso like the world�s most bizarre ultrasound. Though he was one hundred dollars richer, Frank still seemed very concerned.

�You�re not gonna find this at Disney,� my father said, beaming.

Rarely did he stop to consider that there might be a very good reason for that.

The Bailey Ball, originally known as "The Man in the Ball in the Ball", was the brainchild of one Ken Bailey. He had great concepts for amusement park rides that the ever-irresponsible Gene Mulvihill loved. Gene was the kind of guy to sketch out a ride idea on a cocktail napkin and then hand it to wildly unqualified people to build without letting engineers actually tell him if the laws of physics said yes. Ken Bailey had great ideas. He was also a Kmart janitor.

The full size human Bailey Ball was the first ever prototype. The live human test with Frank was the first ever test.

quote:

Upon learning of my maiden voyage down the Loop and Glen�s shattered nose, my mother forbid me from going into the Bailey Ball. That�s when Frank materialized.

We gathered at the foot of the mountain�me, my father, Charlie O�Brien, Dr. Sugar, and Ken Bailey. Also present was an inspector from the Department of Labor, who seemed to recoil at the sight of the mountain track. That he was there at all was something of a formality, but the Bailey Ball would nonetheless need to demonstrate some basic regard for human life in order to be rubber-stamped.

My father had wanted to see the ball in action first thing in the morning, hoping to get it open the following day, but the inspector was running late. It was growing hot, the first searing day we had experienced that summer. Because of the delay, Frank had been in the ball, cooking, for more than half an hour. He was already at the mouth of the track, six hundred feet up the mountain.

When everyone was in place, Ken gave a thumbs-up. Big Al pushed the ball from its starting position down the graded slope. Things went well for the first fifteen seconds or so, with Frank remaining upright in the center of the ball. But on the first turn to go back across the mountain, the ball didn�t stay in the groove. It broke free and began rolling straight downhill.

Ken�s face fell. He had been working up until the last minute gluing the PVC pipes together, not realizing they were warping under the heat. I could already see gaps in the tubing. Damaged by the hot sun, the plastic was expanding, severing the rail that was supposed to give the ball direction. Now it was free, unburdened by the track. The ball had achieved autonomy.

It gained momentum, tumbling uncontrollably down the face of the slope and picking up tremendous speed. Inside, Frank spun helplessly, unable to stop. He could not abandon the craft, as the door opened only from the outside. At this speed, the seat was unable to keep him secure. One second he would be upright. The next, his feet would be pointing toward the sky. His mouth was open in what I could only presume was a scream, but the ball sealed off any sounds.

When the contraption made it to the bottom without any visible damage, and Frank still appeared conscious, I exhaled. But it didn�t stop. It began rolling at high speed toward us like the boulder in Raiders of the Lost Ark. We scattered, my dad and I scurrying to the left, and Ken and Charlie to the right. Dr. Sugar and the inspector were frozen, each of their faces a rictus of terror.

We gave chase as Frank and the ball rolled through the parking lot, narrowly missing the inspector�s car. It spun past construction workers, who looked up from their shovels and heavy machinery to see a man bouncing around inside what appeared to be a diving bell. It cleared a small hill, briefly going airborne, then zipped right across Route 94, the two-lane road splitting the park. Cars honked and slammed on their brakes. If there had been opposing traffic, Frank would have become part of a real-life game of Pong, volleying from one bumper to another.

Still in pursuit, we followed the ball toward a small lake in Motor World that had been earmarked for a fleet of tiny bumper boats for children. The area wasn�t open yet, but the empty boats were being tested and floated on the surface. The ball soared over the grass and smashed into several of them, scattering the others with rippling waves from the impact, which launched some of the boats several feet in the air.

Charlie and Ken waded into the water looking for the hatch. After some difficulty, they got it open. Charlie pulled Frank out by grabbing him under his armpits like a baby. Frank crawled up the bank, coughing and sputtering. There was blood on his shirt, but it was hard to know where it was coming from. He splayed across the grass as we all stared at the ball, which bobbed in the water like it was attached to a fishing lure.

We did not ask for the inspector�s report, nor did we ever hear of it being filed. Ken Bailey returned to Canada. The snowmakers cleared away the PVC. Told to dispose of the Bailey Ball, they rolled it into the woods, where it remained for many years.

My father was unbowed. He kept drawing and doodling, telling us about things that were not yet there but soon would be. �Just wait,� he said. �Just wait.�

# ? Sep 10, 2020 05:33

starkebn: May 18, 2004; "Oooh, got a little too serious. You okay there, little buddy?"

https://i.imgur.com/0hTuq7G.gifv

# ? Sep 10, 2020 05:34

starkebn: May 18, 2004; "Oooh, got a little too serious. You okay there, little buddy?"

https://i.imgur.com/UugvGWR.gifv

Nightmare fuel

# ? Sep 10, 2020 05:36

A Festivus Miracle: Dec 19, 2012; I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

chitoryu12 posted:

Action Park: Fast Times, Wild Rides, and the Untold Story of America's Most Dangerous Amusement Park.

Holy poo poo :stonk:

. 100 bucks in 1969 would be about 600 dollars. That's pretty good money - still not enough money for me to do what poor Frank did.

starkebn posted:

https://i.imgur.com/UugvGWR.gifv

Nightmare fuel

Flash floods are some scary poo poo. I was hiking in the Anzo-Borrego desert, on a dry and somewhat crisp October weekend backpacking trip, when from up the wash a ways, we began to hear what I can only characterize as a dull roar. Our Sierra Club dude quickly guided us up and out of the wash, and within five minutes, this wall of muddy water, rocks, boulders, and brush ripped down out of the hills and past us. The rocks were the craziest part - imagine someone pouring out a bunch of DG out of the back of a semi truck and you're kind of close to what it sounded like, mixed with the sound of water and smashing. Unfortunately, we put ourselves on a ridge of the wash so the flash flood came around the other side of us. So we sat there for about three hours watching this torrent of mud, rocks, water, brush, and little bits of garbage come streaming by in gradually diminishing quantities til it finally fell to a trickle after about three hours. It was absolutely bananas. All it takes is a minor thunderstorm a couple miles up the wash (which I never heard or even saw) to create it, and the only thing you can do is get the gently caress out of the way.

And what's holy poo poo it was loud. I had to shout to be heard right into the person's ear.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 05:46

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

starkebn posted:

https://i.imgur.com/0hTuq7G.gifv

I assume it bypassed that workman because it was on its way to pick a fight with the excavator.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 06:11

priznat: Jul 7, 2009; Let's get drunk and kiss each other all night.

That guy who just raises the foot is like "gently caress that my knees hurt I ain't running" and the skunk was like "respek"

# ? Sep 10, 2020 06:14

Fur20: Nov 14, 2007; すご▞い！
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね！

i was gonna say god drat man, i hope you guys had ear plugs because i could not cover my ears for three hours

# ? Sep 10, 2020 06:20

starkebn: May 18, 2004; "Oooh, got a little too serious. You okay there, little buddy?"

# ? Sep 10, 2020 06:50

WarpedNaba: Feb 8, 2012; Being social makes me swell!

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/bIViywu.gifv

Why didn't they run over him? He's a furry, he won't be missed.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 08:42

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/bIViywu.gifv

Amazing

# ? Sep 10, 2020 09:17

Nenonen: Oct 22, 2009; Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

These Extinction Rebellion protests protests are getting really weird

# ? Sep 10, 2020 09:20

evil_bunnY: Apr 2, 2003

Can you imagine the amount of seething rage and frustration this dude created by just being a moron in a suit? What a hero.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 09:37

GotLag: Jul 17, 2005; 食べちゃダメだよ

Looks like a Remi Gaillard stunt

# ? Sep 10, 2020 10:27

coke: Jul 12, 2009

https://twitter.com/UTHighwayPatrol/status/1303501992237514752

# ? Sep 10, 2020 10:33

Plankalkuel: Mar 29, 2008

It wanted to cuddle with his buddy :3:

# ? Sep 10, 2020 11:41

Alkydere: Jun 7, 2010; Capitol: A building or complex of buildings in which any legislature meets.
Capital: A city designated as a legislative seat by the government or some other authority, often the city in which the government is located; otherwise the most important city within a country or a subdivision of it.

ekuNNN posted:

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_qgeq675CZJ1r0uzl6.mp4

"Do you know why I stopped you, Officer?"

# ? Sep 10, 2020 11:47

mrmcd: Feb 22, 2003; Pictured: The only good cop (a fictional one).

Plankalkuel posted:

It wanted to cuddle with his buddy

Truckin' and fuckin'

# ? Sep 10, 2020 12:28

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

https://i.imgur.com/7dsZRuy.mp4

Not sure what they're making but that's a neat trick.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 12:40

Winklebottom: Dec 19, 2007

GotLag posted:

Looks like a Remi Gaillard stunt

Yeah, that's him. God, haven't thought about him in years. Would've thought someone had killed him during one of his "pranks" by now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81szj1vpEu8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-g-etgFk80

# ? Sep 10, 2020 12:41

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 12:23

mrmcd: Feb 22, 2003; Pictured: The only good cop (a fictional one).

Memento posted:

https://i.imgur.com/7dsZRuy.mp4

Not sure what they're making but that's a neat trick.

looks like they made a siphon op.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 12:43

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