AUSGBS: Scan this qr code to order your sausage

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > AUSGBS: Scan this qr code to order your sausage

McSpergin: Sep 10, 2013

I got at least two different packages racing from Victoria, let's see whether the length of 4 core cable or the variable frequency drive gets here first

# ? Sep 10, 2020 11:04

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# ? May 28, 2024 02:42

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

McSpergin posted:

I got at least two different packages racing from Victoria, let's see whether the length of 4 core cable or the variable frequency drive gets here first

I think I have 3 from Vic, 1 from (Via USA) Perth, 2 from UK, 1 from Austria, 1 more from USA and a few from Singapore. It's a mystery on where my COVID is gonna get me from.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 11:22

McSpergin: Sep 10, 2013

Rip

# ? Sep 10, 2020 11:34

Infinitum: Jul 30, 2004

All I want is my goddamn Crokinole board to arrive, but apparently it's still hasn't even left the docks because Melbourne is a nightmare zone.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 12:10

Carth Dookie: Jan 28, 2013

Schneider Inside Her posted:

Went to the dentist and got some xrays. They reckon there's an abscess or whatever under my root canal and it's gonna cost me like 3 grand to get it redone.

Another tax return laid low by modern dentistry

gently caress this is a weird way to discover I have a dissociative disorder.

Literally going in for surgery tomorrow to get a cyst/tumor/thing removed from above my right front tooth. Luckily my dentist found a second surgeon who was prepared to leave the tooth in in the hopes the jaw grows back and hopefully if all goes well I'll avoid needing bone grafts and a very expensive implant.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 12:52

Schneider Inside Her: Aug 6, 2009; Please bitches. If nothing else I am a gentleman

Carth Dookie posted:

gently caress this is a weird way to discover I have a dissociative disorder.

Literally going in for surgery tomorrow to get a cyst/tumor/thing removed from above my right front tooth. Luckily my dentist found a second surgeon who was prepared to leave the tooth in in the hopes the jaw grows back and hopefully if all goes well I'll avoid needing bone grafts and a very expensive implant.

Haha it was your posts in the thread that got me all freaked out about possible infection. I had like zero symptoms so thanks for posting; you might have saved me from the infection spreading to my brain.

What's extremely annoying is that I already had a root canal; If I get another one it's gonna have cost me like 500 dollars a year to have this tooth. I don't think the infection is that bad at the moment as the dentist didn't seem too alarmed. I'm wondering if it is better to get it pulled out and get an implant put in when I have big boy dollars/major dental, or get another root canal and hope to christ I don't need a third one.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 16:08

Lolie: Jun 4, 2010; AUSGBS Thread Mum

Schneider Inside Her posted:

I'm wondering if it is better to get it pulled out and get an implant put in when I have big boy dollars/major dental, or get another root canal and hope to christ I don't need a third one.

I don't know whether it's improved since then, but when I worked for a dentist root canal and implants had roughly the same rate of failure.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 21:58

Lolie: Jun 4, 2010; AUSGBS Thread Mum

I'm feeling ridiculously anxious about this morning's meeting with the radiation oncologist, for no particular reason.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 22:03

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

quote:

Here�s Why the Trees on Your Street Smell Like Semen

You know the smell. It's that chlorine musk that reminds you of either narrowly dodging a pregnancy or being a 15-year-old boy. But it's a weird thing to be walking down the street on an early spring afternoon and get a nose full of jizz. You're looking around like, "What is that?"

The answer is trees. That cummy smell comes from a flowering deciduous tree called Pyrus calleryana, better known in Australia as the ornamental pear, or the callery pear in the US. Originating from China, they became the urban designer's tree of choice in the 1950s because they're small, neat, and produce cute white flowers. Ornamental pears now line city streets around the globe, although they've fallen out of fashion in Australia and the US because they tend to self-germinate in vacant blocks�and as mentioned�the jizz thing.

So what's with the smell? Basically they smell like that to attract insects. "Any time plants emit fragrances, it's typically to attract pollinators, and that's what the pear is doing as well," explained John Murgel, a horticulturist in Denver. "We normally associate sweet smells with trying to attract bees, but a lot of plants all over the world use really terrible smells in order to attract beetles and flies as pollinators."

In the world of chemistry these smells are known as "volatile amines," which basically mean they're molecularly similar to ammonia. In the case of the ornamental pear, what you're smelling is trimethylamine and dimethylamine, both of which smell like ammonia. And the twist in the story is that there's ammonia in semen.

And just because we're here, talking about semen, I want to raise something personal for a moment. And that is how whenever anyone brings up semen trees, some sort of dude always invariably says, "Hahahaha, how do you know what semen smells like?"

You might have experienced this yourself. But I just want to quickly clarify that of all people, those dudes know exactly what semen smells like. And they know because they all spent long, fevered years exploring, and I know this because I was there, being one of them. For many of us, semen was a phase. And there was an even stranger phase when some guys in high school were tasting their own, just to see. I never went that far but I guess it's nice to keep as an option. Just for when I'm old and I've tried every other activity on the planet, including zorbing.

Anyway, the point is don't ask that question. It's dumb, and you already know the answer.

Now, back to the trees. And it's worth noting that smelly plants are fairly common. There's an entire subset of stinky plants called carrion flowers, or corpse flowers, which mimic the stench of decay to attract bugs that usually feast on rotting animals. Indonesia has produced many of the favourites, including Amorphophallus titanum, which has a long proboscis-like structure that heats up to further disperse its smell. Another example is the Bulbophyllum, which is a kind of orchid found throughout Latin America and the Asian Pacific. These guys are beautiful, but their scent is said to range from urine and blood, all the way through to something sweet and fruity.

Closer to home now, and the good news is that ornamental pear trees won't stink for that much longer. As John Murgel explained, most bloom for just two weeks. "And if a tree is in a warmer, exposed site, it could already be flowering."

So enjoy them while you still can. Like memories of adolescence, the smell of semen trees is fleeting.

https://www.vice.com/en_au/article/7x4zza/heres-why-the-trees-on-your-street-smell-like-semen

# ? Sep 11, 2020 01:07

chaosbreather: Dec 9, 2001; Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

Infinitum posted:

All I want is my goddamn Crokinole board to arrive, but apparently it's still hasn't even left the docks because Melbourne is a nightmare zone.

Oh yes? Which board and from where? I am considering getting some Crokinole

# ? Sep 11, 2020 01:12

Megabound: Oct 20, 2012

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

https://www.vice.com/en_au/article/7x4zza/heres-why-the-trees-on-your-street-smell-like-semen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6m-8l3V38Ps

# ? Sep 11, 2020 01:13

Carlos Lantana: Oct 2, 2003; I'm really sorry, your avatar is giving me a boner and while that is perfectly OK and I don't want to kink shame anyone, its making me feel really weird getting a boner in a Trump thread.

Sincerely,

Jailbrekr

Gimme a home amongst the cum trees

# ? Sep 11, 2020 01:45

Tokamak: Dec 22, 2004

Imagine being so emasculated by your own cum that you go out of your way to state that you have never tasted it.

# ? Sep 11, 2020 02:52

McSpergin: Sep 10, 2013

Attempted to make bao, failed miserably.

The pork belly and the Asian slaw both turned out but. The Bao are at least edible, just fell to bits lol

# ? Sep 11, 2020 03:45

Caesar Saladin: Aug 15, 2004

Vice articles are so constantly so bad. They always make a way to inflect back on the personality of the writer no matter what they are writing, like they just want to talk about themselves but are begrudgingly forced to talk about whatever topic the article is supposed to be about.

"Here's an article about a shaman in south america, but let me talk about the psychadelics I did while at a party in college and the one time i had sex on acid." I made that up but it feels like it exists.

# ? Sep 11, 2020 03:48

Carth Dookie: Jan 28, 2013

Out of surgery. In recovery. A little more local anaesthetic would have been nice. Feels like a wicked mouth ulcer.

# ? Sep 11, 2020 03:48

Maximum Sexy Pigeon: Jun 5, 2008; We must never speak of this!

Nice try, #9...

# ? Sep 11, 2020 03:51

Muk Dumpster: Jun 27, 2020; Text Here

Tokamak posted:

Imagine being so emasculated by your own cum that you go out of your way to state that you have never tasted it.

Purposly losing at Soggy Sao

# ? Sep 11, 2020 04:35

well why not: Feb 10, 2009

Muk Dumpster posted:

losing

depends how you define it

# ? Sep 11, 2020 04:36

KajiTheMelonMan: Sep 2, 2004; I killed a Tuskarr

Muk Dumpster posted:

Purposly losing at Soggy Sao

gently caress you, high school just came back at full force to me

# ? Sep 11, 2020 04:49

bell jar: Feb 25, 2009

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

https://www.vice.com/en_au/article/7x4zza/heres-why-the-trees-on-your-street-smell-like-semen

When I used to ride my bike to school I'd have to hold my breath when going past this one place. It consistently smelled of jizz

# ? Sep 11, 2020 05:03

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

There's cum trees ever few metres on my street. Going for a walk is like a 1km long cum smell gauntlet.

# ? Sep 11, 2020 05:57

Jezza of OZPOS: Mar 21, 2018; GET LOSE❌🗺️, YOUS CAN'T COMPARE😤 WITH ME 💪POWERS🇦🇺

Buncha private school boys itt at Wavell high we'd all come on a brick and last one to pop got smacked in the mouth with the brick by the first

# ? Sep 11, 2020 05:59

I would blow Dane Cook: Dec 26, 2008

hmmm cum brick

# ? Sep 11, 2020 06:16

McSpergin: Sep 10, 2013

Buncha cum touchers ITT

# ? Sep 11, 2020 06:57

well why not: Feb 10, 2009

Malcolm Turnbeug posted:

Buncha private school boys itt at Wavell high we'd all come on a brick and last one to pop got smacked in the mouth with the brick by the first

everyone stores their cum, freezes it and puts it in a sock to beat their lessers with

# ? Sep 11, 2020 07:02

Megabound: Oct 20, 2012

Cumming into paintballs then whoever finishes first and last play Russian Roulette with a paintball revolver.

Megabound fucked around with this message at 08:23 on Sep 11, 2020

# ? Sep 11, 2020 08:21

Humphreys: Jan 26, 2013; We conceived a way to use my mother as a porn mule

Bank got me my $1500 back!! gently caress yeah!

# ? Sep 11, 2020 08:29

McSpergin: Sep 10, 2013

Humphreys posted:

Bank got me my $1500 back!! gently caress yeah!

Noice

My grinder arrived in good nick but I asked them to send the motor with it that I'd ordered separately and lo and behold, 0 motor.

I'd ordered it with click and collect and said if I needed to pay extra to cover the additional cost to let me know but they never got back to me, rang em, bloke confirmed they were sending the motor and it didn't show up today.

I swear to Christ if I have to drive to loving Auburn on Monday to pick it up

# ? Sep 11, 2020 08:56

Lolie: Jun 4, 2010; AUSGBS Thread Mum

Humphreys posted:

Bank got me my $1500 back!! gently caress yeah!

Yay!

# ? Sep 11, 2020 09:25

Schneider Inside Her: Aug 6, 2009; Please bitches. If nothing else I am a gentleman

More like soggy bao

# ? Sep 11, 2020 10:13

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Caesar Saladin posted:

Vice articles are so constantly so bad. They always make a way to inflect back on the personality of the writer no matter what they are writing, like they just want to talk about themselves but are begrudgingly forced to talk about whatever topic the article is supposed to be about.

"Here's an article about a shaman in south america, but let me talk about the psychadelics I did while at a party in college and the one time i had sex on acid." I made that up but it feels like it exists.

All modern journalism is trust fund failchildren pretending to work

# ? Sep 11, 2020 10:21

Lube Enthusiast: May 26, 2016

Little velcro rings/scabbards that you can slide around your cigarettes so they stick to your flannie when you need your hands free

# ? Sep 11, 2020 10:42

Muk Dumpster: Jun 27, 2020; Text Here

How do I tell if a course is elligible for austudy??

# ? Sep 11, 2020 10:59

Infinitum: Jul 30, 2004

chaosbreather posted:

Oh yes? Which board and from where? I am considering getting some Crokinole

Backed a board on Kickstarter on the cheap, because they've finally started to offer international shipping.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/maydaygames/mayday-2020-crokinole-board-2-4-player-maple-or-rosewood
It's a proper tournament sized board.

If/when you get one:
Use this wax - https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0002U2V1O (You want NO cleaners, just wax. Get this one)
Use this gliss powder - https://crokinole.ca/collections/crokinole-accessories/products/fast-and-ultra-fast-speed-crokinole-board-powder-500-grams-each (If you want to use gliss)

Crokinole.ca also sells rubber pegs for further improvement.

If you don't know what Crokinole is:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XMKzeg78peg

I knew of Crokinole, as I'm a boardgame nerd, and a mate of a mate gate a board for his birthday. The house party afterwards turned into an impromptu Crokinole tournament and it was played all night.
Crokinole rules.

There are some cheap and nasty boards out there, so if you are buying one please try to invest a little bit of money.

For the Kickstarter they shipped it over in a container to Aus, aaaaaannnnnddddd there have been no updates for a while other than "You should have gotten tracking info first week of Sept"
Waiting game sucks.

# ? Sep 11, 2020 11:43

Granite Octopus: Jun 24, 2008

gently caress that looks like a lot of fun.

# ? Sep 11, 2020 12:48

Infinitum: Jul 30, 2004

Was literally googling where to buy a board buy the end of the house party.

You don't realise how good it is until you start playing it.

# ? Sep 11, 2020 13:00

Laserface: Dec 24, 2004

It's no bullet ball that's for sure.

# ? Sep 11, 2020 13:25

F: Nov 6, 2005

Humphreys posted:

Bank got me my $1500 back!! gently caress yeah!

Nice work!

I ordered a steering wheel control harness from Frankies Auto Electrical and have been given the runa around for 2 weeks. I told them that I'll be doing a charge back if the money isn't back on my card by end of today, so i guess commbank can gently caress them over tomorrow. DO NOT BUY FROM THEM!

# ? Sep 11, 2020 13:32

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# ? May 28, 2024 02:42

Laserface: Dec 24, 2004

Frankies in Bankstown? They're usually pretty good.

# ? Sep 11, 2020 13:56

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