funny politics shit you remember: The Maltese Failson

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > C-SPAM > funny politics shit you remember: The Maltese Failson

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H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

Mantis42 posted:

holy gently caress

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Angell

yeah those terrorists really hosed up season 10

# ? Sep 12, 2020 08:37

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# ? May 23, 2024 08:20

Antonymous: Apr 4, 2009

Mantis42 posted:

holy gently caress

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Angell

[tossed salad joke]

# ? Sep 12, 2020 10:22

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Eat This Glob posted:

funny medical poo poo i just remembered: if you drink a shitload of rubbing alcohol, the cure is regular ethyl alcohol. they'll prescribe you vodka if you drink methyl alcohol and wind up at the hospital. warning: just go buy bottom-shelf vodka if you need to quell the shakes. you won't have a good time getting "cured" at the ER and you'll likely wake up with a tube in your dick

They�ll prescribe you fomepizole if you go to an ER in the U.S. of A. because it works slightly better and they get to bill you way more for it.

# ? Sep 12, 2020 10:30

Groovelord Neato: Dec 6, 2014

Mantis42 posted:

holy gently caress

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Angell

Anthony Perkins's wife died on 9/11 too.

# ? Sep 12, 2020 10:45

Harold Stassen: Jan 24, 2016

It's been one year and one week since Joe Biden's eye exploded with blood on national television

Mantis42 posted:

holy gently caress

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Angell

What IS a boy to do?

# ? Sep 12, 2020 11:39

Mantis42: Jul 26, 2010

I'd be pretty pissed if I had created Frasier and didn't get advanced warning but Seth MacFarlane and Mark Wahlberg did.

# ? Sep 12, 2020 11:40

Declan MacManus: Sep 1, 2011; damn i'm really in this bitch

exmachina posted:

What was his actual answer? Mine would be "yes of course I would want him dead. But should best sentencing practice really be set by the victims?"

victims of crime are actually the right�s bread and butter rhetorically speaking, you�d be springing a trap on yourself pretty hard and walking right into �see? they care about the rights of murderers more than the rights of victims!�

which is of course stupid, but for the kind of people whose brains are melted from fear of black people, it works

Mantis42 posted:

holy gently caress

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Angell

he heard the blues a callin

# ? Sep 12, 2020 12:12

Inceltown: Aug 6, 2019

Declan MacManus posted:

victims of crime are actually the right�s bread and butter rhetorically speaking, you�d be springing a trap on yourself pretty hard and walking right into �see? they care about the rights of murderers more than the rights of victims!�

which is of course stupid, but for the kind of people whose brains are melted from fear of black people, it works

he heard the blues a callin

Tossed salad and scrambled jets

# ? Sep 12, 2020 12:19

Harold Stassen: Jan 24, 2016

Jet salad can't melt steel eggs

# ? Sep 12, 2020 12:40

Animal-Mother: Feb 14, 2012; RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

Change dot org.

# ? Sep 12, 2020 14:33

Syncopation: Feb 21, 2020

just remembered ron paul won an electoral vote in the 2016 election lol

# ? Sep 13, 2020 00:55

Harold Stassen: Jan 24, 2016

Glenn Beck and his lovely 9/12 cult

# ? Sep 13, 2020 04:50

silicone thrills: Jan 9, 2008; I paint things

Freedom Fries.

# ? Sep 13, 2020 04:57

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

silicone thrills posted:

Freedom Fries.

This one really encapsulates post 9/11 America the most imo. Just a bunch of petulant conservative idiots pitching a fit because the french wisely decided not to join us in our murder crusade

# ? Sep 13, 2020 05:15

Trixie Hardcore: Jul 1, 2006; Placeholder.

COMPAGNIE TOMMY posted:

Glenn Beck and his lovely 9/12 cult

�Remember how you felt on 9/12?�

Yeah Glenn, I felt like poo poo.

# ? Sep 13, 2020 06:04

silicone thrills: Jan 9, 2008; I paint things

Milo and POTUS posted:

This one really encapsulates post 9/11 America the most imo. Just a bunch of petulant conservative idiots pitching a fit because the french wisely decided not to join us in our murder crusade

lol the US literally stooped to economic bullying to force a bunch of countries into the war.

# ? Sep 13, 2020 06:10

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Trixie Hardcore posted:

“Remember how you felt on 9/12?”

Yeah Glenn, I felt like poo poo.

I have no doubt conservatives were low key thrilled because they were given carte blanche to do whatever the gently caress they wanted and anyone who objected would be labelled seditionists. It was the best thing that ever happened to them

silicone thrills posted:

lol the US literally stooped to economic bullying to force a bunch of countries into the war.

I... didn't say otherwise?

# ? Sep 13, 2020 06:15

thetan_guy42: Oct 15, 2016; murdera; Lipstick Apathy

Eat This Glob posted:

funny medical poo poo i just remembered: if you drink a shitload of rubbing alcohol, the cure is regular ethyl alcohol. they'll prescribe you vodka if you drink methyl alcohol and wind up at the hospital. warning: just go buy bottom-shelf vodka if you need to quell the shakes. you won't have a good time getting "cured" at the ER and you'll likely wake up with a tube in your dick

Yeah Iirc the ethanol jumps to the front of the queue to be processed by the liver instead of the methanol. Bodies are crazy and catheters are the worst

# ? Sep 13, 2020 06:24

silicone thrills: Jan 9, 2008; I paint things

Milo and POTUS posted:

I... didn't say otherwise?

Just agreeing. I reading a bit more into it than I knew just from existing during that time and holy gently caress this country is just pure scum

# ? Sep 13, 2020 06:24

H.P. Hovercraft: Jan 12, 2004; one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse; Slippery Tilde

thetan_guy42 posted:

Yeah Iirc the ethanol jumps to the front of the queue to be processed by the liver instead of the methanol. Bodies are crazy and catheters are the worst

yeah it slots into the same spots first, a similar thing can happen with grapefruit juice and st john's wort competing for the liver which can gently caress up your body's ability to use certain drugs, particularly antidepressants and oral birth control

(it's gotta be a lot of grapefruit juice)

# ? Sep 13, 2020 06:37

silicone thrills: Jan 9, 2008; I paint things

lol republicans getting mad at shrimp on treadmills in 2011

# ? Sep 13, 2020 08:36

britishbornandbread: Jul 8, 2000; You'll stumble in my footsteps

Trixie Hardcore posted:

I�m imagining an Air Marshal walking down the aisle demanding to know if there are any terrorists on the plane too chickenshit to hijack it and if any terrorists raise their hands he makes them go up to the cockpit and finish the job they started.

were Air Marshals not a reaction to 9/11? did they exist before the attacks?

# ? Sep 13, 2020 10:36

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

silicone thrills posted:

Just agreeing. I reading a bit more into it than I knew just from existing during that time and holy gently caress this country is just pure scum

Oh okay. Assumed wrong tone from the way it was worded. I actually don't know anything about what you were talking about w/r/t smaller countries tbh

# ? Sep 13, 2020 10:51

Ruffian Price: Sep 17, 2016

COMPAGNIE TOMMY posted:

Glenn Beck and his lovely 9/12 cult

Beck testing the waters if being an anti-Trump Democrat would be a better grift

quote:

Beck told the New Yorker he doesn’t speak like that any longer, that he’s become a different man. In particular, he said he regrets calling the president a racist.

“I did a lot of freaking out about Barack Obama,” he told the magazine.

Added Beck, “So much of what I used to believe was either always a sham or has been made into a sham. There’s nothing deep.”

Beck went on, in the interview, to state that he now supports the Black Lives Matter movement.

and falling right back in line within a month

# ? Sep 13, 2020 10:56

Pitch: Jun 16, 2005; しらんけど

britishbornandbread posted:

were Air Marshals not a reaction to 9/11? did they exist before the attacks?

The air marshals date back to the big hijacking boom of the 60s and 70s, before airports even had metal detectors or anything, but there were like a few dozen of them at any one time. It ballooned to thousands after 9/11.

# ? Sep 13, 2020 11:12

Harold Stassen: Jan 24, 2016

silicone thrills posted:

lol republicans getting mad at shrimp on treadmills in 2011

Hey, that's money that could have been spent on a Mercedes truck for KBR that they burn on the side of the road when it gets a flat tire

Funny politics thing I just remembered but had repressed, that the US contractors would actually do that when they got flats or busted radiators. The level of grift of just wasted money in Iraq is just unbelievable of how they wasted the loving money

# ? Sep 13, 2020 14:13

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Private business is never inefficient I think you'll find

# ? Sep 13, 2020 14:58

britishbornandbread: Jul 8, 2000; You'll stumble in my footsteps

Pitch posted:

The air marshals date back to the big hijacking boom of the 60s and 70s, before airports even had metal detectors or anything, but there were like a few dozen of them at any one time. It ballooned to thousands after 9/11.

would it be a fair assumption that there is at least one on every US domestic flight?

# ? Sep 13, 2020 20:35

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

britishbornandbread posted:

would it be a fair assumption that there is at least one on every US domestic flight?

i highly doubt they have the manpower to do that

# ? Sep 13, 2020 20:51

vyelkin: Jan 2, 2011

FAMS effectiveness against crime and terror, has also been questioned. According to Congressman John J. Duncan, the air marshal program has led to only 4.2 arrests a year, at an average cost of $200 million per arrest. He argued that this represents a win of the perceived dangers of terror, supported by a profit center-type approach, over realistic spending priorities.[39][40]

# ? Sep 13, 2020 20:56

Eat This Glob: Jan 14, 2008; God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

silicone thrills posted:

Freedom Fries.

liberty cabbage in the us and alsatian dog in the UK

# ? Sep 13, 2020 22:05

In Training: Jun 28, 2008

vyelkin posted:

FAMS effectiveness against crime and terror, has also been questioned. According to Congressman John J. Duncan, the air marshal program has led to only 4.2 arrests a year, at an average cost of $200 million per arrest. He argued that this represents a win of the perceived dangers of terror, supported by a profit center-type approach, over realistic spending priorities.[39][40]

lol

# ? Sep 13, 2020 22:25

Maya Fey: Jan 22, 2017

https://twitter.com/nypost/status/1262731779523465216

# ? Sep 13, 2020 22:54

britishbornandbread: Jul 8, 2000; You'll stumble in my footsteps

vyelkin posted:

FAMS effectiveness against crime and terror, has also been questioned. According to Congressman John J. Duncan, the air marshal program has led to only 4.2 arrests a year, at an average cost of $200 million per arrest. He argued that this represents a win of the perceived dangers of terror, supported by a profit center-type approach, over realistic spending priorities.[39][40]

I have absolutely nothing to back this statement up with in terms of a linked source, but I am sure I read/heard that the stringent security measures at airports now in the post-9/11 world have never actually halted a terrorist attack?

# ? Sep 13, 2020 23:34

Groovelord Neato: Dec 6, 2014

britishbornandbread posted:

I have absolutely nothing to back this statement up with in terms of a linked source, but I am sure I read/heard that the stringent security measures at airports now in the post-9/11 world have never actually halted a terrorist attack?

Something like three quarters of the weapons they'd carry to test TSA got through.

# ? Sep 13, 2020 23:39

vyelkin: Jan 2, 2011

britishbornandbread posted:

I have absolutely nothing to back this statement up with in terms of a linked source, but I am sure I read/heard that the stringent security measures at airports now in the post-9/11 world have never actually halted a terrorist attack?

According to that same congressman quoted in the Wikipedia, basically the only security change since 9/11 that has actually helped to stop any future 9/11 is that now they lock the cockpit doors in airplanes. Everything else is just billions of dollars thrown away on security theatre.

# ? Sep 14, 2020 00:08

gradenko_2000: Oct 5, 2010; HELL SERPENT; Lipstick Apathy

the Lana del Raytheon twitter account got outed as a sex pest and just vanished into nothingness forever (I hope).

# ? Sep 14, 2020 00:15

Aipsh: Feb 17, 2006; GLUPP SHITTO FAN CLUB PRESIDENT

gradenko_2000 posted:

the Lana del Raytheon twitter account got outed as a sex pest and just vanished into nothingness forever (I hope).

when did this happen? I got a bit confused because apparently I had been following someone with the same twitter name but slightly differently spelled.

on that note I checked the twitter account with that name which is protected, and it had ebaumsworld in the bio.