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Action Jacktion posted:Eventually the guy who adopted him reveals he has no idea who his parents were so he could be royalty or not. He still gets to be king though. 
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Sep 15, 2020 22:59
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sassassin posted:In Minas Tirith there's a folk tale that the king would have the hands of a healer. I wonder who came up with that (it was Gandalf). hah
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Sep 15, 2020 23:00
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Galewolf posted:Don't you get trained first and used alchemy to mutate? Unless I'm reading the wiki wrong. oh, you could be right, I just thought they got them all as kids then killed 90% of them with forbidden herb magic.
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Sep 15, 2020 23:00
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sassassin posted:Some versions of the First Age stories have literal tanks it's not just the Elves that got really good at building poo poo. I liked the story in the Similarian where the giant dragon is defeated by an elf who has a flying boat.
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Sep 15, 2020 23:11
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Sep 15, 2020 23:13
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sebmojo posted:oh, you could be right, I just thought they got them all as kids then killed 90% of them with forbidden herb magic. It may be wrong, but I also had the impression that it was 'Kills significant % of subjects', like that Grey Warden magic drink thing in Dragon Age.
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Sep 15, 2020 23:14
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twistedmentat posted:I liked the story in the Similarian where the giant dragon is defeated by an elf who has a flying boat. Fly me closer, I want to hit it with my sword!
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Sep 15, 2020 23:18
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I like how it was just cut out of the actual image 
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Sep 15, 2020 23:21
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Lord of the Rings is post-apoc sci-fi Tolkien just never got to the later books like Anne McCaffrey did.
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Sep 15, 2020 23:35
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This might be the single most poorly-written wiki article ever. Holy poo poo.
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Sep 15, 2020 23:46
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overseer07 posted:This might be the single most poorly-written wiki article ever. Holy poo poo. I thought I was having a stroke while trying to decipher it 
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Sep 15, 2020 23:49
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sebmojo posted:oh, you could be right, I just thought they got them all as kids then killed 90% of them with forbidden herb magic. It’s this, Witcher candidates are foundlings or taken as payment for Witchering, then subjected to alchemy and magic that kills or maims the vast majority.
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Sep 16, 2020 00:09
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drat I guess witcher really does promote cruelty to children
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Sep 16, 2020 02:08
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hell yeah dianna wynne jones. she is definitely about as far as you can get from the xanths and dragonlances of the world
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Sep 16, 2020 02:18
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juggalo baby coffin posted:hell yeah dianna wynne jones. she is definitely about as far as you can get from the xanths and dragonlances of the world
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Sep 16, 2020 02:26
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ElectroMagneticJosh posted:The thing that bugged me about Dragonlance was how the DnD alignment and spell systems were part of the story in a way that drew the reader out of the stories. I didn't play DnD (unless you count some of the video games) but quickly realized they were describing game mechanics. Didn't the Kender die from a poison needle trap when opening a chest? If I'm remembering correctly and that was a thing I guarantee it was a dice roll.
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Sep 16, 2020 02:51
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pretty sure he did I think it was that he was old though and was just slow enough to get jabbed recall I felt absolutely nothing about it and it was the last book I read
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Sep 16, 2020 02:55
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Holy poo poo - that probably is how the Kender died. I likely didn't notice because I was happy with the death.
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Sep 16, 2020 03:06
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Anybody know of a really gory fantasy novel or series of novels? I’m in the mood for something really immoral, vile, gross, and graphic. A good plot with fun characters would also be a plus. I can’t be scared away by mere yuckiness. I prefer weird disgusting violence and horror over weird disgusting sex and fetishes, but I’m willing to let it slide if need be.
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Sep 16, 2020 03:26
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Nigmaetcetera posted:Anybody know of a really gory fantasy novel or series of novels? I’m in the mood for something really immoral, vile, gross, and graphic. A good plot with fun characters would also be a plus. I can’t be scared away by mere yuckiness. I prefer weird disgusting violence and horror over weird disgusting sex and fetishes, but I’m willing to let it slide if need be. Nicholas Eames Kings of the Wyld Maybe Glen Cook's Black Company series?
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Sep 16, 2020 03:29
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xcheopis posted:Nicholas Eames Kings of the Wyld The black company series wasn’t free with my amazon prime subscription so I’ll have to look into that. Haven’t heard of the first one, will look into it immediately. Like, by the time you read this I’ll be reading the intro. Have a good night.  Fake edit: typing in “ki” resulted in google recommending me “kings of the wyld” so I’ll pretend they aren’t reading my mind
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Sep 16, 2020 03:33
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Ok i bought the wyld one will check out the others later
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Sep 16, 2020 03:34
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Nigmaetcetera posted:Anybody know of a really gory fantasy novel or series of novels? I’m in the mood for something really immoral, vile, gross, and graphic. A good plot with fun characters would also be a plus. I can’t be scared away by mere yuckiness. I prefer weird disgusting violence and horror over weird disgusting sex and fetishes, but I’m willing to let it slide if need be. Joe Abercrombie? The Blade Itself (and the next two in the trilogy) might float your boat
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Sep 16, 2020 04:03
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xcheopis posted:Maybe Glen Cook's Black Company series? They are pretty awesome, however. Imagine the novelization of 80s Wizard Van Art, and you kind of have a handle on all of Glen Cook's books.
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Sep 16, 2020 05:38
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ElectroMagneticJosh posted:Joe Abercrombie? The Blade Itself (and the next two in the trilogy) might float your boat I'll second this. After a few books you'll get the point, but I think it's what you're looking for. And it has a really cool name for a city: Carleon
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Sep 16, 2020 06:01
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A little late, but re: magic changing society / why doesn't everyone learn it: We *have* magic that works, it's science, and it's hell trying to get people to listen hard enough for long enough to actually learn to do anything useful. I can offer you spells to hurl fire and lightning, to slay your enemies, to render a field or beast barren or fruitful, and yet people mostly just don't care, because they have other stuff going on in their lives. I can only assume that fantasy worlds are the same.
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Sep 16, 2020 07:06
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Atopian posted:A little late, but re: magic changing society / why doesn't everyone learn it: nah cause it would be like if we invented science and only three guys in big towers used it. everyone uses science in our world, they just don't know how it works. farmers know how to operate their massive machinery and elaborate fertilizers, even if they don't know all the science behind it. they can still use the science. kids in school are taught a whole sampler of our accumulated knowledge of science and the world, and cantrips are basically the wizard equivalent of a GED. our knowledge of science has drastically restructured our society over time, and we created mass education to try and impart information into kids so that they can at least grasp the rudiments of how to do leverage our knowledge in the wider world. whether education succeeds at that or not is another debate. science was just a curiosity for rich guys and a couple of very specialised professions for a lot of our history, but as soon as it became apparent that technology could provide much higher yields of food and resources and manufactured goods they started to educate people. if d&d magic was real it'd become apparent pretty fast that the spells that dont have a lot of adventure utility can still have a vast amount of use in mundane industries, so there'd be an impetus for society to create more wizards, so they'd start setting up some sort of mass education solely to produce more effective workers. the main difference between magic and science is that we generally have to build stuff to apply our scientific knowledge, whereas magic can just issue forth from the individual.
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Sep 16, 2020 07:21
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juggalo baby coffin posted:nah cause it would be like if we invented science and only three guys in big towers used it. everyone uses science in our world, they just don't know how it works. farmers know how to operate their massive machinery and elaborate fertilizers, even if they don't know all the science behind it. they can still use the science. kids in school are taught a whole sampler of our accumulated knowledge of science and the world, and cantrips are basically the wizard equivalent of a GED. Most people are so incredibly loving stupid that the few people that can pass comprehension benchmarks for the simplest poo poo are touted as unquestionable pillars of knowledge than no simple person could challenge over any concept that is over their head. What people don’t realize is that they are actually a very solid bearing for science and engineering. Does that poo poo hurt? Garbage. Does that poo poo impede your functioning? poo poo. Does that poo poo make this task harder? Bollocks. Does that taste gross? Does that make you sick? Does that poo poo present a risk to people? Double donkey dick horseshit. The problem is people think they can’t learn that poo poo independent of an institution, or they’re told people who don’t test high on intelligence tests can’t learn that poo poo. You can literally just buy college textbooks and get a working knowledge of most poo poo in this world, even if you aren’t that smart. Most people don’t realize that good engineering, good science, doesn’t inflict pain on people, doesn’t make risk for people, doesn’t make confusing and counterintuitive systems, doesn’t involve self sacrifice. Most people who think they are smart are actually just good at following complicated instructions, they can hold a lot of poo poo in memory at once. They are usually horrible at making decisions, answering questions clearly, and truly understanding the mechanisms they are using and the results they yield. Not very many “intelligent” people actually produce any new information, it’s actually like there is a block that keeps them from doing that, when it’s an easy thing for people with lower iqs to do (although the new ideas they produce are touted as worthless without credentials). Like when magic and fantasy didn’t have an instruction set, all the brainiacs were the fearful and nervous ones while everyone else moved poo poo forward with real practical science. Useful poo poo that doesn’t gently caress poo poo up p much. 
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Sep 16, 2020 07:44
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Nigmaetcetera posted:Anybody know of a really gory fantasy novel or series of novels? I’m in the mood for something really immoral, vile, gross, and graphic. A good plot with fun characters would also be a plus. I can’t be scared away by mere yuckiness. I prefer weird disgusting violence and horror over weird disgusting sex and fetishes, but I’m willing to let it slide if need be. Dave Brockie, aka Oderus Urungus from the band GWAR wrote a book, and it's a lot like you'd expect a book written by a member of GWAR to be, if they were in-character. It's called Whargoul, it's basically the GWAR song "Whargoul" in novel form. Anyway its pretty fuckin gross.
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Sep 16, 2020 07:45
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:Most people are so incredibly loving stupid that the few people that can pass comprehension benchmarks for the simplest poo poo are touted as unquestionable pillars of knowledge than no simple person could challenge over any concept that is over their head. What people don’t realize is that they are actually a very solid bearing for science and engineering. Does that poo poo hurt? Garbage. Does that poo poo impede your functioning? poo poo. Does that poo poo make this task harder? Bollocks. Does that taste gross? Does that make you sick? Does that poo poo present a risk to people? Double donkey dick horseshit. The problem is people think they can’t learn that poo poo independent of an institution, or they’re told people who don’t test high on intelligence tests can’t learn that poo poo. You can literally just buy college textbooks and get a working knowledge of most poo poo in this world, even if you aren’t that smart. Most people don’t realize that good engineering, good science, doesn’t inflict pain on people, doesn’t make risk for people, doesn’t make confusing and counterintuitive systems, doesn’t involve self sacrifice. Most people who think they are smart are actually just good at following complicated instructions, they can hold a lot of poo poo in memory at once. They are usually horrible at making decisions, answering questions clearly, and truly understanding the mechanisms they are using and the results they yield. Not very many “intelligent” people actually produce any new information, it’s actually like there is a block that keeps them from doing that, when it’s an easy thing for people with lower iqs to do (although the new ideas they produce are touted as worthless without credentials). Like when magic and fantasy didn’t have an instruction set, all the brainiacs were the fearful and nervous ones while everyone else moved poo poo forward with real practical science. Useful poo poo that doesn’t gently caress poo poo up p much. I'm not sure what kind of point you were trying to make but I will say you made it with gusto.
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Sep 16, 2020 07:53
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PMush Perfect posted:hey quick question were the prydain books actually good or was i just a stupid kid with no standards Actually good! Read it again! Now that you've reminded me I'm going to! The Chronicles of Prydain by Lloyd Alexander does not belong in this thread!!! So... I guess I'll talk about it!  Lloyd Alexander was born during the great depression but he didn't let it get him down. This 'baller enlisted, served in US intelligence, bagged a french wife while fighting for our freedom, and sent a nice note to me when I wrote him in high school (1998). I had re-read the series before going into college because it was the first thing i'd ever read on my own and wrote him because the re-read moved me. I didn't expect to get anything back but he wrote me a short note and it was awesome. On to content. Five books all very different, well structured with beginnings middles and ends. Each stands on its own but they all fit together if read in a series. The main character is not even a pig keeper... he's an assistant pig keeper. It's funny, the princess is tuff and brassy. Magic exists but he doesn't spend a whole lot of time explaining it so it's ... you know ... MAGICAL!!!. People die in horrible tragic ways but it's meaningful. The big bad guy has unkillable zombie soldiers that are literally unkillable, you gotta chop into little pieces, great for a so called kids book. Four is my favorite. It's about deciding what to do with your life, how everyone thinks their profession is the most important profession, and that destiny is bullshit. And if you like it there's a collection of short stories from the world called "The Foundling" that's equally awesome. Narnia can eat a bag of dicks. Prydain all the way.
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Sep 16, 2020 08:57
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juggalo baby coffin posted:
'The reason why Cormyr, rather than any other of the obvious Realms nations is where the cantrip revolution kicked off remain highly controversial. The Red Wizards of Thay, already a mageocracy would seem to be the natural candidate. But their Necromantic obsession seems to have distracted them* from the possibilities of......' * See also Illen Redwings "Great Lich theory of History", Suzail press 1712DR.
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Sep 16, 2020 09:03
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The Moon Monster posted:Didn't the Kender die from a poison needle trap when opening a chest? If I'm remembering correctly and that was a thing I guarantee it was a dice roll. That sounds like an approach to story telling which COULD produce good results, if allowances were made for moments when it wouldn't work, and momentum always maintained. I mean that's basically how the Mad Max movies work. Dude does something risky, sometimes dude fucks it up for no apparent plot reason. (Though sometimes it's world-building reasons). For that matter, I can think of a few actually good books where someone seems like they're the big deal in the book and they just eat poo poo out of nowhere, but the story carries on without letting up; not necessarily as if it didn't happen, but immediately and forcefully with the consequences of that event...even though the plot could have proceeded more or less the same had the event not happened. Jaidee in "The Windup Girl" is what I've got in mind. Failed a bureaucratic power play roll, even though it looked like he could have gone through to the end.
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Sep 16, 2020 09:21
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Gnomes get a few cantrips as a racial ability, but there aren't many of them in Faerun; interestingly, they're also the ones who discover I read the Prydain Chronicles, but I don't recall particularly liking them. Lloyd Alexander's other books are awesome, though. Especially the Vesper Holly books; late-Victorian pulp-style adventures with an adventuresome young woman and her not-adventurous guardian (the narrator).. "She is familiar with half a dozen languages and can swear in all of them."
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Sep 16, 2020 09:25
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:Not very many “intelligent” people actually produce any new information, it’s actually like there is a block that keeps them from doing that, when it’s an easy thing for people with lower iqs to do (although the new ideas they produce are touted as worthless without credentials). Like when magic and fantasy didn’t have an instruction set, all the brainiacs were the fearful and nervous ones while everyone else moved poo poo forward with real practical science. Useful poo poo that doesn’t gently caress poo poo up p much. Interestingly, I have been directly cautioned against giving too much actually practically useful instruction. I can see why that might be (explosions), but it does lead to the sad result of a separation of learned knowledge from real-life situations / applications. And yes, those who are best at absorbing that knowledge often have the strongest such separation.
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Sep 16, 2020 09:36
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Hey speaking of Paolo Bacigalupi, anyone read The Alchemist? Magic is banned because using it causes 'bramble,' a thick deadly suffocating thicket of thorns that covers most of the land to grow. A magic user invents a machine to destroy the bramble. The mayor and his men take it to use it so that they are able to use magic at will, while continuing to use the law to round up and kill anyone who dares use magic themselves.
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Sep 16, 2020 11:38
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Nigmaetcetera posted:Anybody know of a really gory fantasy novel or series of novels? I’m in the mood for something really immoral, vile, gross, and graphic. A good plot with fun characters would also be a plus. I can’t be scared away by mere yuckiness. I prefer weird disgusting violence and horror over weird disgusting sex and fetishes, but I’m willing to let it slide if need be. There's Richard Morgan's The Steel Remains and it's sequels which are incredibly gory fantasy with a very unusual take on elves and dwarves.
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Sep 16, 2020 13:02
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Nigmaetcetera posted:Anybody know of a really gory fantasy novel or series of novels? I’m in the mood for something really immoral, vile, gross, and graphic. A good plot with fun characters would also be a plus. I can’t be scared away by mere yuckiness. I prefer weird disgusting violence and horror over weird disgusting sex and fetishes, but I’m willing to let it slide if need be. the Moorcock Elric stuff is pretty grim, isn't it? I only read a couple, but I liked them. it's been a long time, though.
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Sep 16, 2020 16:29
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Mad Hamish posted:There's Richard Morgan's The Steel Remains and it's sequels which are incredibly gory fantasy with a very unusual take on elves and dwarves.  Great main characters, especially Ringil. I love his St-Crispin's-Day-Cynical-rear end in a top hat-Version speech at the end of the first book.
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Sep 16, 2020 16:30
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Ok I bought all your recommendations on audible, please don't suggest any more, I've only got one credit left. Also, thanks.
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Sep 16, 2020 16:35
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