3D Megadoodoo posted:

Not with that attitude!

Arrhythmia posted:

CONGLATURATION !!!

YOU HAVE BOUGHT
A GREAT FORUM.

AND PROOVED THE JUSTICE
OF OUR CULTURE.

NOW GO AND REST OUR
WEBMASTER !

Malcolm Turnbeug posted:

Classic Aussie blunder to go to the supermarket in thongs for cheese only to be overwhelmed with choice and develop mild frostbite

Mr. Sunshine posted:

In the land of the buttless, the half-assed man is king.

greazeball posted:

pey is stored in the barms

shy boy from chess club posted:

Hoping this is the DCD reference I think it is

Mr. Sunshine posted:

Dcdeeze nuts


(I don't know what dcd is. Sorry)

Mr. Sunshine posted:

Every butt has two cheeks, as they say.

BOOTY-ADE posted:

A broken butt still farts twice a day

Captain Monkey posted:

What is the sound of one cheek farting?

small ghost posted:

I got two cats so you could play with each other when I'm busy, not so that you could scream at me in stereo when you want to play and I'm busy.

Also the only game you want to play at the moment is: I stand in the bedroom and wave the ribbon on a stick, while you, momo, roll on the floor trying to sit on it and you, macready, crab walk at high speed up and down the hallway paying absolutely no attention to me, momo, or the ribbon on a stick.

It is a stupid game, I do not understand the rules, and I feel like you're both missing the point of the ribbon on a stick. If this is what faux hunting behaviour means to you, then you should both count your lucky stars you're pet cats. I'm still going to play it with you (when I'm not busy ) but I want you both to know how ridiculous you are.

ultrafilter posted:

Captain Monkey posted:

What is the sound of one cheek farting?

3D Megadoodoo posted:

If you have a fistula in the right place, you can fart through your knob.

Sex Hobbit posted:

If you have the other set and you’re sitting just right, it’ll ripple forward through the flappers

Sex Hobbit posted:

If you have the other set and you’re sitting just right, it’ll ripple forward through the flappers

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

a Gwyneth Paltrow

Ichabod Sexbeast posted:

Fa. The other cheek makes the Rt.

Captain Monkey posted:

What is the sound of one cheek farting?

Mr. Sunshine posted:

Is that like a cleveland steamer?

Turpitude II posted:

*one cheek clapping

Splicer posted:

Hrrrrnnggh Lama, I'm trying to reach enlightenment but I'm dummy thic and the clap of my rear end cheek keeps answering the koans

A Fancy Hat posted:

I've always been very good at the tests, okay, I got a LOT of postiives... lots of positives and lots of tests. And now? You might say I tested the most positive of all. The biggest positive I've... well....

*Snffffffffffffff*

*COUGH COUGH COUGH*

But the test, they take you into the room, and they give you the cup. And they say "Mr. President, SIR, you need to fill the cup." And I said, well... where's the... I need the magazine. I need the book. Where's the book? And then you blink, you close your eyes for a second, and you're in a different room. And they've got a stick, okay, they put a stick up your nose. They put the stick up and you feel it touch the brain, and then you.... that's how they do it.

So then somebody comes back, they come back with the results. And you've gotten tested 100 times, 108 times, 117 times maybe. And you're fine each time. And then somehow, like magic, you get the positive. And you say "Wow, another positive, that's good!" But then they come up to you, big guys, tears in their eyes. And they say "No, the positive is bad."

And it takes a while, but it's 3 hours later and you understand that the positive is bad. They really should call it a negative, we're thinking of renaming it that, but we....

*COUGH COUGH COUGH*

But Melania has it, too. And she starts crying, she's crying so much. They say we need to stay in a room together and she grabs the knife, she says she would rather die of the knife than stay in the room with me. And you... that's how it goes. It's... that's why we can't do the windmills, because your TV would never work, and you'd be talking to the wife. Or daughter, in some cases.

*COUGH COUGH COUGH*

But we're.... hello. I can see them a lot clearer now, of course, he's... he's in the corner now, getting much closer. It's incredible.

NO gently caress YOU DAD posted:

We all love www.thug.com as a dumb album title, but honestly Trick Daddy's entire discography belongs in this thread. Check this out:

www.thug.com (1998)
Book of Thugs: Chapter AK Verse 47 (2000)
Thugs Are Us (2001)
Thug Holiday (2002)
Thug Matrimony: Married to the Streets (2004)
Back by Thug Demand (2006)

Guy names rap albums like a disapproving Eugene Levy character and I am here for it

Cubone posted:

Thug rapper Trick Daddy, cursed with the naming sensibility of a middle school teacher, stares thoughtfully at a whiteboard reading "1-800-THUG", "I Can't Believe It's Not Thug", "The Thug Warehouse: You're Gonna Like the Way I Rap", and "Thug Got Your Tongue (Thugs Are Like Cats Somehow?)"
After a moment, he adds something. The first item now reads "1-800-THUG: Phone Man In The Hood"
He squints thoughtfully and tries to think of all the things he knows about phones.

Cobalt-60 posted:

The second was about the My Little Pony show being a banned topic and how that was giving someone an existential crisis.

Leovinus posted:

There is a new My Little Pony cartoon recently. Somebody posted a thread about it in the TVIV claiming it was better written than most kids' cartoons (in a still-for-little-girls way, not an Adventure Time way). The creator even said it was designed so that you didn't have to be a little girl to enjoy it, although to be honest if you're looking to appeal to all audiences don't write loving My Little Pony cartoons. Originally I think most people thought it was a joke post, like that thread about the new series of Power Rangers from a while back.

Then some people actually started watching the cartoons, because it's Alright To Do That. And then more people did and suddenly people were saying "whoa, this show is actually really good!" and then they started raving about it and buying themselves avatars. Bear in mind that this cartoon still isn't written, like, say, Earthworm Jim or Rocko, where everyone thinks it's great because of allegories and references or because he's a worm in a suit. It's a show about ponies doing girl things like having prom or arguing about hairstyles. Some people even got all uppity about it, buying avatars that say things like "Ponies. Problem?" like we're the ones who are weird for thinking it's creepy for mature male adults to really, really enjoy My Little Pony.

Anyway, the upshot of all this is that a forum full of twenty-somethings who are usually known for being horribly cynical assholes about everything suddenly went My Little Pony crazy in a completely unironic fashion to the point where anyone who made fun of them in the thread got shouted down and I think a few people got probated. It was like something out of the loving Twilight Zone. Really, really out there and surreal and unusual.

Eventually somebody stepped in and banned all My Little Pony talk in TVIV. I've sat here for the last couple of minutes staring at that sentence, wondering if it's a real thing borne of real concepts. I mean, think about it. The SA Forums got incredibly worked up about My Little Pony cartoons to the point where mods had to say "any new threads about the My Little Pony cartoon will be gassed and the posters will be banned". There is now a forum rule specific to My Little Pony. I'm still not entirely convinced that the whole thing wasn't entirely in my mind. There remains, for me, the possibility that I'm sitting in an empty room at an asylum, wide-eyed and touch-typing forum posts on the plaster of my wall, hallucinating an entire internet community, unable to distinguish it from reality except in these moments where my neurons get all frazzled up and accidentally throw in a complete non-sequitur like a sudden influx of My Little Pony zealots. That, for me, is as reasonable an explanation for what happened as the idea that it all just happened like I described it.

I've had weirder things trigger existential crises like this, but not loving many.

Cobalt-60 posted:

The first one was a story about a man eating plain shredded wheat for breakfast, in a bleak tone.

Mycroft Holmes posted:

It is shredded wheat. Not frosted. A big block of it in a plain white bowl, half full of milk. It is on a table, where a man sits. There is no other food on the table.

The man is dressed in a white shirt and black slacks, and he'll put on a tie when he's finished. Maybe he's not alone, it's just very early and his family is still asleep. He takes his spoon and turns the block of shredded wheat over in its bowl, so that the other side can soak. He feels his hunger, but he waits anyway. After a period of time, of a length roughly the same as yesterday, and the day before (this time-period has become instinctual for him), he picks up his spoon and begins to break the block up. Not completely of course, just into chunks that fit squarely onto the spoon. The chunks usually have one side that's soggy and one side that's still a little bit crunchy. The way he spoons each into his mouth, along with an appropriate quantity of milk, puts the crunchy side at his teeth and the soggy side on his tongue.

As he chews, the crunchy side gets pulverized while the soggy side is mashed up by the natural motion of the tongue while chewing. When he has eaten all the chunks, there is still milk left in the bowl, and in it the crumbs that resulted from breaking the initial block. He does not raise the bowl to his lips to drink the remainder; even though no one is there to see, he sticks to his etiquette and dutifully drains the bowl spoonful by spoonful. When he is finished, there are still crumbs in the bowl. He gets up from the table, takes the bowl to the sink, and quickly rinses it out. He leaves the bowl in the sink; it will be dealt with later. He walks away to get his things, and then he leaves. The sun has not yet risen.

Turpitude II posted:

*one cheek clapping

Splicer posted:

Hrrrrnnggh Lama, I'm trying to reach enlightenment but I'm dummy thic and the clap of my rear end cheek keeps answering the koans

Jeddaven posted:

My aunt found HUMAN FECES (Caps:cruise control for cool) on the floor of the Basha on North Scottsdale Road, Scottsdale AZ. Aisle 3. Im never getting groceries there for as long as I live.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Sleepytech08 posted:

i will not be banned.

you will see this thread and know that I am real.

You get 1 question answered if you lucky. 1 only no multiple accounts.

I will answer the questions that I want.

Ask away.


oh yeah magic is real. I can cast spells.

I am a member of the Illuminati. we technically they begged me to join and I accepted so I could steal their knowledge and the put it online for free.



(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

EorayMel posted:

Cobalt-60 posted:

The second was about the My Little Pony show being a banned topic and how that was giving someone an existential crisis.

Well What Now posted:

Anyway, the upshot of all this is that a forum full of twenty-somethings who are usually known for being horribly cynical assholes about everything

Outrail posted:

Why ban the first one? Yeah it's weird but we need weird posters like that here.

EorayMel posted:

Simple:

EorayMel posted:

Simple:

Outrail posted:

I saw that. It's a pretty normal post all things considered.

muscles like this! posted:

I'm kind of annoyed that Urasawa's stuff isn't available digitally. There are still some weird gaps, like the Akira manga also is only available physically.

DACK FAYDEN posted:

I read this as "only available psychically" and somehow was not at all fazed by the idea of a manga you had to brain-download for like two seconds. I should go back to bed.

Cleretic posted:

If any media were to be the first provided by brain-download distribution, it would absolutely be a manga that was big in the eighties.

Or possibly Doom.

Zaodai posted:

It would be a janky, rushed port of Skyrim.

Phy posted:

Every time you pass out, you wake up on that loving cart

After two weeks of sleeps you're desperately trying to figure out how to mod the dragon to sound like Randy Savage