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El Spamo
Aug 21, 2003

Fuss and misery
This game is so weird, losing isn't a loss condition, just either a restart or a different angle on the same kingdom you're working on.

Ireland is united, and I'm also the King of Wales (somehow). The powerful military leader kaks it in his 70s and his successor has no fight, no allies, and no respect. Ireland gets it poo poo pushed in for a couple decades. Lose half of Wales, lose Ulster, barely fend off the rest of England and Scotland by marrying off my infant daughters to the HRE and Norway in exchange for alliances.

The next guy comes around, a real sneaky knife-in-the-back kinda guy. Young and hale too.
Do you know how you defeat a massively powerful kingdom on the other side of the water from you with 3x your military and allies out the wazoo?

Murder 3 English kings in a row, destabilizing their kingdom and flipping random counties to foreign governments as the lines of succession end up hopelessly tangled. Now all I have to do to reunite Wales under my rule is dickpunch Castille.

edit: Also, is it normal for your vassals to be constantly squabbling? It seems like there's always some low-grade fighting going on between my duchies. Not much changes and taxes keep rolling in, so I don't think it's a big deal?
Sometimes it even seems beneficial. These welsh nobles are super feisty, and one of them conquered a county on their own that I had been eyeing.

El Spamo fucked around with this message at 14:59 on Oct 6, 2020

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Knuc U Kinte
Aug 17, 2004

Urraca Jimena is the best start I’ve tried so far. Stabbing your way to the through your family and becoming the Mother of Spain atop a pile of corpses is so good. Then just leaning hard into the dread tree and just torturing and killing every single person who looks at you funny, making sure to keep your dungeons filled up with neighbouring muslims when you need to relive stress and top off dread. Between absolute crown authority and being a woman, every single vassal hates my guts and can’t do poo poo about it or they wake up dead

Clanpot Shake
Aug 10, 2006
shake shake!

Dread is so powerful, even without perks for it. I've been stocking up on infidel prisoners before succession so my heir can burn them at the stake when they ascend to get max dread. Really cuts down on post-succession faction shenanigans. It'd be nice to see more covert resistance from vassals at high dread, because as it is it's really easy to keep them all cowed.

Daktar
Aug 19, 2008

I done turned 'er head into a slug an' now she's a-stucked!


So ends the tale of the accidental Roman Empire. I barely did anything for the past 100 years, just sat and watched my vassals expand on their own. I'm thinking a Kushite game next.

Gonna echo the views of most here and say that game, in general, owns. It's incredibly polished and easy to get into, and it runs so much better than CK2. I was barely getting any slowdown at all by 1453. A lot of the randomness that made CK2 annoying has been taken out, while the stuff that kept it interesting has been left in. I even like the fact that you're locked into gavelkind for so long, which makes the choice to spend your dynastic prestige on improving the tree or disinheriting heirs one of real strategic importance.

Would love to see some of the features from CK2 return. Playable republics (maybe even non-merchant ones), epidemics and a bunch more events would be great.

Precambrian Video Games
Aug 19, 2002



Blimpkin posted:

Yeah religion needs to be sorted, but I am really starting to hate the "smallpox over the walls" event.

I get it, he threw it first, but at the same time, I can only choose to infect him (and my court), just my court, or my realm capital.

I don't think I've ever seen a disease infect more than two people in my court. Most of them kill the initial victim and nobody else. There must be a bug or something because CK2 was way more deadly and you actually had to seriously consider secluding yourself in particularly bad outbreaks.

Blimpkin
Dec 28, 2003
I've had some pretty bad luck, even with a good physician. However I have had two rulers survive infection, and one I actually chose the hard treatment for one. But almost all my outbreaks since I started playing around in central and eastern europe have been because of this event chain.

bgreman
Oct 8, 2005

ASK ME ABOUT STICKING WITH A YEARS-LONG LETS PLAY OF THE MOST COMPLICATED SPACE SIMULATION GAME INVENTED, PLAYING BOTH SIDES, AND SPENDING HOURS GOING ABOVE AND BEYOND TO ENSURE INTERNET STRANGERS ENJOY THEMSELVES
When I got the bubonic plague event, I just dismissed the affected courtier from my court and that was the end of it. Doing so should probably impact prestige or have a chance of the courtier refusing to leave.

PittTheElder
Feb 13, 2012

:geno: Yes, it's like a lava lamp.

bgreman posted:

When I got the bubonic plague event, I just dismissed the affected courtier from my court and that was the end of it. Doing so should probably impact prestige or have a chance of the courtier refusing to leave.

Yeah this is what I do too, and so I've never seen anybody actually important get infected. It's always some nobody I would have had no idea was even in my court to begin with.

Jay Rust
Sep 27, 2011

What do courtiers even do all day?

Orcs and Ostriches
Aug 26, 2010


The Great Twist

Jay Rust posted:

What do courtiers even do all day?

My wife, apparently.

Blimpkin
Dec 28, 2003

bgreman posted:

When I got the bubonic plague event, I just dismissed the affected courtier from my court and that was the end of it. Doing so should probably impact prestige or have a chance of the courtier refusing to leave.

I know, the issue I have is when someone tosses a pox-ridden corpse at my feet. I wish that with, say a high learning ruler, I could just burn the body on the spot or something, instead of needing to chance someone getting sick. When I have just a regular infected courtier I usually dismiss as well.

bgreman
Oct 8, 2005

ASK ME ABOUT STICKING WITH A YEARS-LONG LETS PLAY OF THE MOST COMPLICATED SPACE SIMULATION GAME INVENTED, PLAYING BOTH SIDES, AND SPENDING HOURS GOING ABOVE AND BEYOND TO ENSURE INTERNET STRANGERS ENJOY THEMSELVES

Blimpkin posted:

I know, the issue I have is when someone tosses a pox-ridden corpse at my feet. I wish that with, say a high learning ruler, I could just burn the body on the spot or something, instead of needing to chance someone getting sick. When I have just a regular infected courtier I usually dismiss as well.

Yeah I gotta admit, I always choose the "Study corpse" option in that event and have yet to get the "courtier is infected" outcome. I agree that since the patch this event is way too common when you have rivals.

strong bird
May 12, 2009

Jay Rust posted:

What do courtiers even do all day?

they courtie

strong bird
May 12, 2009

itd be cool if you could appoint ladies/lords in waiting and so on and it wouild make people happy. like for example you could give your powerful vassal's third son a senior position in the royal household and it would make the vassal happy. but then the guy would get access to your secrets and stuff and youd need to make him happy as well.

Orcs and Ostriches
Aug 26, 2010


The Great Twist
Similarly, I'd like something like the old honourary titles, but with more mechanical impact.

Clanpot Shake
Aug 10, 2006
shake shake!

Orcs and Ostriches posted:

Similarly, I'd like something like the old honourary titles, but with more mechanical impact.

Master of Swans keeps coming into court panicking that the duchal leisure palace are being sabotaged in a variety of petty and lightly destructive ways by an intractable goose.

Blimpkin
Dec 28, 2003

strong bird posted:

itd be cool if you could appoint ladies/lords in waiting and so on and it wouild make people happy. like for example you could give your powerful vassal's third son a senior position in the royal household and it would make the vassal happy. but then the guy would get access to your secrets and stuff and youd need to make him happy as well.

I've started taking in my vassals kids as wards and then purposely training them wrong "lazy, content, shy." Everyone is usually happy in the end, especially if that ward befriends me or my heir.

A God Damn Ghost
Nov 25, 2007

booyah!

Blimpkin posted:

I've started taking in my vassals kids as wards and then purposely training them wrong "lazy, content, shy." Everyone is usually happy in the end, especially if that ward befriends me or my heir.

I do that but I definitely avoid lazy. I always aim for my powerful vassals to be competent so I can actually put them on the council. I don't know if it affects their taxes and land management if they're actually good at stuff, I would expect they'll do better at running their domain if they are capable though.

strong bird
May 12, 2009

stewardship and martial directly modify their taxes and levies

ilitarist
Apr 26, 2016

illiterate and militarist

Orcs and Ostriches posted:

Similarly, I'd like something like the old honourary titles, but with more mechanical impact.

I think the problem is it's hard to find universally applied titles. Everyone needs a doctor. Probably everyone will have a designated regent. But after that?.. Byzantines have their own old titles. Muslims might have court philosopher and court poet (honestly not sure how much of Arabian Nights orientalism is in this idea). We'll probably see those in respective expansions.

CharlieFoxtrot
Mar 27, 2007

organize digital employees



Court philosopher shows up as an event at least, also you can recruit an herbalist to your court

Excelzior
Jun 24, 2013

Orcs and Ostriches posted:

Similarly, I'd like something like the old honourary titles, but with more mechanical impact.

speaking of titles, how many "nicknames" are in ck3? I don't think I've ever gotten a 'The Fat' or "The Bald" - and it seems yet others like "The Great' are intrinsically linked to certain historical characters (e.g. Alfred of Wessex if he becomes Petty King) and decisions (like "Form Portugal")

Excelzior fucked around with this message at 19:15 on Oct 6, 2020

A God Damn Ghost
Nov 25, 2007

booyah!

Excelzior posted:

speaking of titles, how many "nicknames" are in ck3? I don't think I've ever gotten a 'The Fat' or "The Bald" - and it seems yet others like "The Great' are intrinsically linked to certain historical characters (e.g. Alfred of Wessex if he becomes Petty King) and decisions (like "Form Portugal")

I got to be "The Conquerer" for a particularly long-lived martial king who did a freaking ton of expansionist wars.

Canopus250
Feb 18, 2005

You guys are taking me along this time? Right? Wait Shaundi is going? This is bullshit man!

Is there any way to determine who somebody killed when they have the "familial kinslayer" trait?

I've got a huge house so I don't care too much, but my first two born have it and I'd like to know who they offed.

Dallan Invictus
Oct 11, 2007

The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes, look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.
edit: oh wait this isn't true. But familiar kinslayer implies a) they killed a close relative and b) it's known, so maybe check the death reasons of their siblings or cousins?

The old game had a Kill List button on the character screen for just such questions but I guess that one didn't make the jump.

Dallan Invictus fucked around with this message at 20:15 on Oct 6, 2020

Problem Sleuth
Apr 12, 2011

WELCOME TO THE NEW FUTURE

Excelzior posted:

speaking of titles, how many "nicknames" are in ck3? I don't think I've ever gotten a 'The Fat' or "The Bald" - and it seems yet others like "The Great' are intrinsically linked to certain historical characters (e.g. Alfred of Wessex if he becomes Petty King) and decisions (like "Form Portugal")

I think there's a fair number but they seem to come up pretty rarely. I had a strong duke named Diana the Bully in one of my games, who was very cool, and I've gotten "the Wend" from a decision and "the Unrelenting" from an event.

Blimpkin
Dec 28, 2003
You get "the Lawmaker" for building the Sicilian Parliament, (also absolute power).

Broken Cog
Dec 29, 2009

We're all friends here
What does it take to make a vassal swap their culture? I keep converting this one dukes counties, but he keeps converting them back.

Clanpot Shake
Aug 10, 2006
shake shake!

You get The Flayer for being really nice to your vassals and court

jk it's for making torture an art

Antifa Spacemarine
Jan 11, 2011

Tzeentch can suck it.

Broken Cog posted:

What does it take to make a vassal swap their culture? I keep converting this one dukes counties, but he keeps converting them back.

Tutor his heir and check the culture box

Broken Cog
Dec 29, 2009

We're all friends here

Antifa Spacemarine posted:

Tutor his heir and check the culture box

I had completely forgotten that was a thing, seems like a long term project, cheers!

A God Damn Ghost
Nov 25, 2007

booyah!

Canopus250 posted:

Is there any way to determine who somebody killed when they have the "familial kinslayer" trait?

I've got a huge house so I don't care too much, but my first two born have it and I'd like to know who they offed.

Yeah I have no idea either! I'm not sure it's even true - my sister had it and I went and reviewed literally every single person in the dynasty tree and none of them died under suspicious circumstances or were known to be killed by her. No idea.

as a sidenote, I really wish there were something you could do when one of your family members is imprisoned by someone. I just have to watch this pissant vassal torture my brother to death and can't do anything about it despite having the wealth and military power to crush him like a bug.

binge crotching
Apr 2, 2010

Started as the count of Dagon in 867, and within 2 years I had 1400 raiders from Sjaelland pillaging me. Dagon is literally the furthest possible coastal province from Denmark, and he had to have started sailing day 1 to go pillage me.

He captured a couple of my kids, and I couldn't ask him for a ransom because he was out of diplo range. I feel like maybe the AI should stick to raiding with diplo range, since not being able to get my sons back was super unhelpful.

Thankfully despite the learning education, my count really liked to produce kids:

Zero One
Dec 30, 2004

HAIL TO THE VICTORS!
All nicknames: https://ck3.paradoxwikis.com/Nickname

Canopus250
Feb 18, 2005

You guys are taking me along this time? Right? Wait Shaundi is going? This is bullshit man!

Yeah, my house is over 400 living members right now so I don't think I'll be able to find it easily. Just another one of those small things I hope they add as updates come.

Broken Cog
Dec 29, 2009

We're all friends here

The only lifestyle titles I have ever gotten has been from learning, so they seem extremely rare.

El Spamo
Aug 21, 2003

Fuss and misery
Holy crap, why didn't anyone tell me how lucrative crusades are?
I just went on two and was able to fund mercenaries, the conquest of a big chunk of Scotland, and a bunch of building upgrades. All that for faffing about in the backwoods of the holy land.

Blimpkin
Dec 28, 2003

El Spamo posted:

Holy crap, why didn't anyone tell me how lucrative crusades are?
I just went on two and was able to fund mercenaries, the conquest of a big chunk of Scotland, and a bunch of building upgrades. All that for faffing about in the backwoods of the holy land.

Even better is redirecting them to areas near you and putting some niece or nephew on the throne and then using your house head claim to claim their title and take it from them, if you like that sort of thing.

El Spamo
Aug 21, 2003

Fuss and misery

Blimpkin posted:

Even better is redirecting them to areas near you and putting some niece or nephew on the throne and then using your house head claim to claim their title and take it from them, if you like that sort of thing.

I mean, yeah! I'm slowly learning the kinds of dumb paperwork that makes kingdoms grow. Right now I'm playing the marry->murder game and scooping up counties enough to usurp a duchy. Scotland will be mine!

Also, somehow I installed an Irish queen on the throne of Syria. The game asked me if I wanted to play out that royal line instead. I stayed with the homeland, but I can't help but wonder how things would have done if I decided to take the helm of the most incongruous rulers of the holy land possible.

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Blimpkin
Dec 28, 2003

El Spamo posted:

I mean, yeah! I'm slowly learning the kinds of dumb paperwork that makes kingdoms grow. Right now I'm playing the marry->murder game and scooping up counties enough to usurp a duchy. Scotland will be mine!

Also, somehow I installed an Irish queen on the throne of Syria. The game asked me if I wanted to play out that royal line instead. I stayed with the homeland, but I can't help but wonder how things would have done if I decided to take the helm of the most incongruous rulers of the holy land possible.

I did that once, crusaded for Poland coming out of Moravia, and played as the Crusader Queen who then came back for Granddad's kingdom 20 years later.

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