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RoboChrist 9000 posted:Yep. I've always found Conan's racial politics rather interesting. Considering the number of colonizers clamouring for indian removal who were Scots-Irish that actually makes some sense, especially for someone as tuned into American racial animus as Howard
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Oct 6, 2020 19:38
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William Bear posted:Everyone shut up about racism, we have an emergency on our hands. Unexpected my arse; Hieronymous Alloy called it 18 months ago: Hieronymous Alloy posted:We're gonna see Sauron's dick, aren't we.
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Oct 6, 2020 19:39
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SHISHKABOB posted:I bet it's an orgy in Numenor. My favorite line from the nerd rant on theonering.net: quote:We surely don’t know who’s involved in scenes of nudity/sexuality. Debate is now open on where that would be necessary in a grand story of Númenor or the Elven-smiths of Eregion, or the welcoming halls of Khazad-dûm in its pre-Balrog glory. How about we combine the two? "Numenor is sinking! Everyone start loving!"
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Oct 6, 2020 19:41
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Sauron's going to be doing a Littlefinger style rant in a Numenorian brothel isn't he
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Oct 6, 2020 19:43
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Yeah like IMO it would make sense for the evil morgoth cult that Sauron instigates to be full of the usual seven sins of catholicism. Roman Empire on the decline, that sort of thing. e: i have no idea when or where the show is supposed to be taking place. other than "second age"
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Oct 6, 2020 19:44
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We're going to find out Hobbit dongs are not "to scale".
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Oct 6, 2020 19:45
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There's a show in 2020 having a s-s-s-s-s-sex scene scoob!
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Oct 6, 2020 19:46
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WoodrowSkillson posted:There's a show in 2020 having a s-s-s-s-s-sex scene scoob! We're not prudes, we're just remarking how, unless handled with extreme care, such a scene would be incongruous with the tone of the whole setting, and make LOTR on Amazon a blatant Witcher/Game of Thrones wannabe. Another great quote from theonering: quote:There are a few notable instances of non-sexual nudity mentioned in The Lord of the Rings itself: (a) the hobbits’ bath in Crickhollow, (b) the running naked through the grass to clear their hearts and minds after imprisonment by the Barrow Wights, (c) Frodo’s rescue by Sam at the Tower of Cirith Ungol.
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Oct 6, 2020 19:50
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Runcible Cat posted:Unexpected my arse; Hieronymous Alloy called it 18 months ago: Sauron's dick and balls will be of unseemly size, symbolically flaunting both his self-importance and covetous desire for the material world. You'll be able to tell the heroes by their tiny and refined genitals, which represent their cool rationality and civilized nature in accordance with the noble ideals of the ancient greeks.
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Oct 6, 2020 19:52
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Drakyn posted:Sauron's dick and balls will be of unseemly size, symbolically flaunting both his self-importance and covetous desire for the material world. You'll be able to tell the heroes by their tiny and refined genitals, which represent their cool rationality and civilized nature in accordance with the noble ideals of the ancient greeks. This checks out. From Tolkien's letter #246: quote:Sauron should be thought of as very terrible. The form that he took was that of a man of more than human stature, but not gigantic. In his earlier incarnation he was able to veil his power (as Gandalf did) and could appear as a commanding figure of great strength of body and supremely royal demeanour and countenance.
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Oct 6, 2020 19:55
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i wonder if sauron uses a body double for his dnbs much like how he uses a gross weirdo for his mouth
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Oct 6, 2020 19:55
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William Bear posted:We're not prudes, we're just remarking how, unless handled with extreme care, such a scene would be incongruous with the tone of the whole setting, and make LOTR on Amazon a blatant Witcher/Game of Thrones wannabe. Another great quote from theonering: im not worried about this thread, yall are cool. I treat any of these shows with extreme cynicism and caution. I was very nervous about the witcher for example, and it exceeded my expectations greatly by finding its own voice as a more well acted and higher production value hercules or xena. This show may be absolute dogshit, but one thing i do enjoy is nerds getting all pissed off over poo poo like this. Its not selling itself as an adaptation of Tolkiens work directly. Its going to be an experiment to see of people are willing to consume spinoff content in Tolkien's universe, so odds are there will be poo poo flung at the wall to see what sticks. A show for adults dealing with adult themes is fine, i will come down like a ton of bricks on it if its some gross GoT rape trash.
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Oct 6, 2020 19:59
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Waterbed Wendy posted:i wonder if sauron uses a body double for his dnbs much like how he uses a gross weirdo for his mouth The Balls Of Sauron comes forth with a troll clanging a big gong repeatedly
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Oct 6, 2020 20:08
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Waterbed Wendy posted:i wonder if sauron uses a body double for his dnbs much like how he uses a gross weirdo for his mouth The rider was robed all in hair, and purple was his lofty helmet; yet this was no Ringwraith but a living man. The Lieutenant of the Tower of Barad-dûr he was, and his name is remembered in no tale; for he himself had forgotten it, and he said: 'I am the Balls of Sauron.' e:fb
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Oct 6, 2020 20:09
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Drakyn posted:The rider was robed all in hair, and purple was his lofty helmet; yet this was no Ringwraith but a living man. The Lieutenant of the Tower of Barad-dûr he was, and his name is remembered in no tale; for he himself had forgotten it, and he said: 'I am the Balls of Sauron.' Hahaha, no worries, this is what I believe they call "worldbuilding"
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Oct 6, 2020 20:11
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perc2 posted:Sauron's going to be doing a Littlefinger style rant in a Numenorian brothel isn't he "Play with his ring."
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Oct 6, 2020 20:16
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Drakyn posted:The rider was robed all in hair There is no way Sauron doesn’t wax
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Oct 6, 2020 20:19
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He waxeth great
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Oct 6, 2020 20:20
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Isildur trying to get the fruit of Nimloth: Hrrgnh Elendil im trying to sneak around but im dummy thicc and the clap from my rear end cheeks keeps alerting the King's Men.
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Oct 6, 2020 20:27
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All this reminds me of a short set of panels a Russian illustrator, Phobs, did of Sauron in Numenor. It might take some liberties with actual events, but drat that shot of Sauron looking fair but also a hint of malice towards the West is killer and it would kill to have the Silm in graphic novel form (as long as you accept it won't be perfect by any stretch).
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Oct 6, 2020 20:33
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I like it. Pharazon looks too young though, he‘s gotta be well over 100 by the time he captures Sauron, right?
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Oct 6, 2020 20:50
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I mean like I said there's a number of logical issues with the strip, he would have been about 140 out of 200+ years at this point so probably should look older. I just think it's a really evocative scene nonetheless. perc2 fucked around with this message at 21:07 on Oct 6, 2020 |
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Oct 6, 2020 21:04
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perc2 posted:Sauron's going to be doing a Littlefinger style rant in a Numenorian brothel isn't he Play with his skasion posted:I like it. Pharazon looks too young though, he‘s gotta be well over 100 by the time he captures Sauron, right? He's gotta be at least a little old for Sauron's trick to work right? Though I guess 100 isn't that old by Numenorean standards.
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Oct 6, 2020 21:05
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I particularly like the " Oh you're waaay too smart for flattery to work on you" maneuver 
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Oct 6, 2020 21:06
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Ginette Reno posted:Play with his From Ar-P's perspective Sauron is just some rebellious would-be-lord he crushed, as he is the prideful head of the most advanced civilisation in Middle-Earth. Taking him back to Numenor to play court games and politics is kind of what we should expect from him; he has no idea Sauron is a Maia, etc. Sauron looks to the West and dreams dreams far beyond the knowing of Men... men are weak perc2 fucked around with this message at 21:15 on Oct 6, 2020 |
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Oct 6, 2020 21:13
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RoboChrist 9000 posted:The issue with Tolkien is ultimately that while the text shows that white men can be bad, it never shows that men of color can be good. I agree that he does say that no men are innately evil, but the fact is that whatever implications or messages he thought he was communicating, we never see a character of color who isn't a literal Satan-worshiping bad guy. Combine this with other racialist bits of prose or turns of phrase, and his equation of the Uruk-Hai with Mongols, and yeah. 
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Oct 6, 2020 21:21
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SoggyBobcat posted:Bór and his three sons. Data Graham posted:He waxeth great "I wonder if this is a contrivance of the enemy" said Boromir. "They say in my land that he can govern the storms in the Mountains of Shadow that stand upon the borders of Mordor. He has strange powers and many allies" "His schlong has grown long indeed," said Gimli, "if he can draw snow down from the north to trouble us here three hundred leagues away." "His schlong has grown long," said Gandalf. i am going to stop now
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Oct 6, 2020 21:28
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This thread will be making Tolkien spin in his grave so fast we've solved the world's energy crisis
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Oct 6, 2020 21:51
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perc2 posted:This thread will be making Tolkien spin in his grave so fast we've solved the world's energy crisis But what about the Anus of Sauron
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Oct 6, 2020 22:07
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perc2 posted:From Ar-P's perspective Sauron is just some rebellious would-be-lord he crushed[;] he has no idea Sauron is a Maia, etc. Where do you get this idea?
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Oct 6, 2020 22:08
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SoggyBobcat posted:Bór and his three sons. Credit where it's due, you got me there. And I don't think the whole decadent orgiastic rites thing fits Numenor. Their whole vice and whatnot wasn't decadence in that sense, as I got it, but more just their crippling fear of death. I always envisioned the Numenorean elite as living their lives so worried and concerned with the looming specter of death that they never even bothered to really live. Death had claimed them as a people ages before it claimed them in a literal sense. Pharazon and others would simply be too busy moping, being stressed out, and worrying about death to ever bother really celebrating life and having the kind of excesses that Amazon seems to be going for. But I mean, hey, that was just my take. I only read the Silmarillion and not the other supplementary stuff so maybe there's a better picture of Numenor in those that shits on my headcanon/interpretation. But my mental image of Numenor was always sort of sombre decadence. A people who could have been wallowing in hedonism, but were too hung up on their own mortality to bother. Too depressed to ever be truly depraved.
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Oct 6, 2020 22:08
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Anshu posted:Where do you get this idea? You're right, that's my ignorance, he knew. I guess my point is by taking fair form and humbling himself in front of Ar-P, flattering him also, he was successful in manipulating him. This is where as I said the strip deviates from reality where they call him an unknown "barbarian king". My bad.
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Oct 6, 2020 22:25
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OctaviusBeaver posted:He was living in a homogeneous European country in the 30-40s, he probably just wasn't as obsessed with race as the present day terminally online types are. That didn't kick into high gear until ~2012. Everyone he knew and interacted with was white and so was pretty much every character in the books, good or bad. I seriously doubt he foresaw that people could ever interpret things in that light, much less intend it as a message about the inherent superiority of white people. Lmao terminally online people like Francois Bernier circa 1684
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Oct 6, 2020 22:39
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RoboChrist 9000 posted:Credit where it's due, you got me there. They do torture, kill and sacrifice humans to Morgoth which is pretty depraved. But on the other hand they started doing it as a perversion of the process of justice by accusing their victims of treasonable acts, which kind of takes the fun out of it. Maybe their imperial outposts’ human sacrifices were more of a party?
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Oct 6, 2020 22:41
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The Numenoreans would have known who Sauron was, surely? He was a pretty important part of the Lay of Leithian, which you'd expect them to know. e: As for the Numenoreans and hedonism, Tolkien does point in that direction? A big part of what made them start worrying about death was how far they'd advanced in every other aspect of life; they were first afraid of death because it was the ending of the happiness they had in Arda. Once they began to reject the Valar, while they did become obsessed with death, they also tried to distract themselves from it: "Akallabeth posted:But those that lived turned the more eagerly to pleasure and revelry, desiring ever more goods and more riches; (This was also what started Numenorean imperialism in Middle Earth) Jo Joestar fucked around with this message at 23:05 on Oct 6, 2020 |
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Oct 6, 2020 22:46
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Sauron is very good at his job But yeah they knew him
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Oct 6, 2020 22:48
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That generation of numenorians aren’t automatically allied with with the elves or the valar That’s the whole point
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Oct 6, 2020 22:49
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SHISHKABOB posted:I bet it's an orgy in Numenor. Numenorgy, please. Drakyn posted:The rider was robed all in hair, and purple was his lofty helmet; yet this was no Ringwraith but a living man. The Lieutenant of the Tower of Barad-dûr he was, and his name is remembered in no tale; for he himself had forgotten it, and he said: 'I am the Balls of Sauron.' Pretty prestigious job, storing Sauron's piss and all that.
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Oct 6, 2020 22:49
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Still thinking about the Biceps Femoris Of Sauron who comes to the stage flexing mad quads and demanding governorship of Dorwinion
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Oct 6, 2020 23:35
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Pham Nuwen posted:Pretty prestigious job, storing Sauron's piss and all that. Olsen got another spit-take out of me recently in one of his episodes on Morgoth's Ring where he talked about a later unpublished draft of Melkor and Ungoliant destroying the Trees, where Melkor stopped off at the empty Council Ring and "defiled the throne of Manwë" and he's like "So what'd he like, pee on the throne or whatever"
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Oct 6, 2020 23:59
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