Marvel Comics Megathread: Empyrean Appreciation Station

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Rhyno: Mar 22, 2003; Can't post for 10 years!

I snagged the first Weird World trade for $4 recently and it was absolutely worth it.

# ? Oct 2, 2020 11:46

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# ? May 26, 2024 10:31

Nilbop: Jun 5, 2004; Looks like someone forgot his hardhat...

Baron Von Ghoulosh posted:

Maybe the BEST artistic representation of the Banner to Hulk transformation. Bravo!

Woah, getting surprisingly strong Slaine vibes from this.

# ? Oct 5, 2020 20:53

Yvonmukluk: Oct 10, 2012; Everything is Sinister

ASM #850 tomorrow! We might finally learn who Kindred is.

# ? Oct 6, 2020 19:33

Vince MechMahon: Jan 1, 2008

Yvonmukluk posted:

ASM #850 tomorrow! We might finally learn who Kindred is.

It's me.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 02:17

Lord_Hambrose: Nov 21, 2008; *a foul hooting fills the air*

Yvonmukluk posted:

ASM #850 tomorrow! We might finally learn who Kindred is.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 03:38

Macdeo Lurjtux: Jul 5, 2011; BRRREADSTOOORRM!

Eagerly awaiting the Bonesaw reveal.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 05:18

How Wonderful!: Jul 18, 2006; I only have excellent ideas

Vince MechMahon posted:

It's me.

Hey bud, check the rules thread, this is a Kindred free zone.

How Wonderful! posted:

I want to bump this but also to reiterate what I've said in here and what you may have seen mods really underline in recent months:

1) Any whiff of bigotry, discrimination, or hateful language, ironic or otherwise, is 100% verboten. Don't do it. Ableism (including fatphobia), sexism, racism, classism, ageism, transphobia, homophobia, etc. has no place in BSS. If you were just trying to make a joke, I don't care. If you were dogwhistling and hoping to slip under the radar, I don't care. Don't say "retard," don't call women lovely things. This should be easy.

2) Comic book fandom is predicated on the comic book fan fight and disagreement is a generative and important part of BSS. That being said, slap-fights and feuds are a chore to read and detract from otherwise good threads. Arguments that get too personal or veer entirely away from the thread topic and into petty vendettas will be shut down. Be as blunt as you want but try not to be a prick, and if you find someone insistent on being a prick to you, just drop it, report it if you need to, and move on.

3) Doxxing and helldumping are not allowed. Dragging in offsite stuff, material from other (especially very old) threads for the purposes of mocking another poster, and especially real-world identifying information will be dealt with harshly. If you find yourself concerned or troubled by a poster's past words or actions (the Tzitzimine Protocols, as Marv Wolfman may have called it in days of old) and feel that they have a real material bearing on BSS please feel free to contact myself or X-O privately. As with #1, please don't try to get cute with evading or undercutting this.

4) These are not an exhaustive set of laws-- if you are otherwise being a nuisance or becoming a disruptive presence expect mod action. Use your discretion and don't be an rear end in a top hat. See rule #2-- if you feel yourself getting heated and about to post something you'll regret, get up, take a walk, water your plants, have some tea, whatever you need to do. Just please don't be an rear end in a top hat.

5) Do not be the mysterious new Spider-Man villain Kindred. Three strikes of being Kindred, the enigmatic tormentor with a stunning link to Peter Parker's most tragic secrets, and you will receive a six hour probation. Five strikes of being this fan-favorite character find, whose secret identity will break the internet in half, and you will receive a 12 hour probation.

6) Finally, please review the forum-wide rules, linked by Waterhaul above.

Edit: If you are the Octavia Butler novel Kindred that's fine and I apologize for the bother.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 08:54

Rhyno: Mar 22, 2003; Can't post for 10 years!

In the end, Kindred was the friends we made along the way

# ? Oct 7, 2020 09:25

Endless Mike: Aug 13, 2003

*Drops a note reading simply "THREE KINDREDS"*

# ? Oct 7, 2020 14:05

Edge & Christian: May 20, 2001; Earth-1145 is truly the best!
A world of singing, magic frogs,
high adventure, no shitposters

I thought we've know who The Kindred are for like twenty five years?

These Wildstorm books contain just as much information as this week's Spider-Man does about The Kindred for what it's worth.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 15:27

Vince MechMahon: Jan 1, 2008

How Wonderful! posted:

Hey bud, check the rules thread, this is a Kindred free zone.

Edit: If you are the Octavia Butler novel Kindred that's fine and I apologize for the bother.

Sorry for the confusion, I am the 1980s horror film THE Kindred.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 15:29

Soonmot: Dec 19, 2002; Entrapta fucking loves robots; Grimey Drawer

I'm hit TV show based on Vampire: The Masquerade, Kindred: The Embraced!

# ? Oct 7, 2020 16:15

Endless Mike: Aug 13, 2003

Chip Zdarsky wrote in his newsletter the very true story of how Ryan Stegman (who is not a dinosaur man) got his job at Marvel:

quote:

THE BEGINNING BOY
By Chip Zdarsky

Our story begins, as most great stories do, at San Diego Comic Con. I was a young creator, freshly at Marvel Comics, turning one of their D-list characters, Howard The Duck, into a C-list character with remarkable ease. I looked across the convention floor and saw a comics creator behind a table, being berated by a young-ish man.

That, I thought, would never do.

So after posing for several photos with fans (because I respect the fans), I politely excused myself with my trademark smile and cinnamon scented belch, and went to see what the commotion was.

It took me a while to realize that the creator was Mark Waid. Being a fan of his strong, powerful creations, I didn�t expect him to look like a turtle who just ate a jalapeno popper. He was also crying, begging the youngish man to back away. I sauntered up, asking what the problem is.

�I just want to break into comics!� screamed the young man. He was a weird sort. Tall and lean, but whatever fat or muscle he DID have on his body kind of slid down along his massive frame, like he could only gain weight downward.

�This man is a living legend� I said, making quote marks around the word �living.� �So show him some respect!� As I ripped through this mystery man, Mark Waid picked up a hot dog that had tumbled to the convention floor during the altercation. He whispered �I�m so sorry� to the con dog and started eating it again, as if apologizing to it somehow made it clean?

�I�m�I�m just so drat frustrated!� screamed the man, kicking the hot dog straight out of Mark Waid�s slippery, glistening fingers. Mark barked like a seal, which is somehow cute when a seal does it.

�It�s okay,� I said. �I know how you feel. We all want to break into comics. To be the chosen few to handle classic characters like Green Lantern, the other Green Lantern, Captain Marvel, the other Captain Marvel, and reap the benefits, like a tenuous paycheque, or the berating of fans. It�s � beautiful.�

The man looked at me, slack-jawed. Like he�d just found his long-lost, much more attractive brother.

�Hi. M-my name�s Ryan Stegman.�

We shook hands. His big moist mitt enveloped mine. It was extremely soft, and, even though my face was nowhere near it, I just knew it fuckin� reeked.

�Good to meet you, Ryan,� I lied. �So, you want to be a comic artist?�

�More than anything in the world, mister!� screamed the young Stegman, spittle flying everywhere. �But the problem is, I can�t draw! And, more importantly, I don�t want to put in the work to get better!�

�Fair,� I said. There was something about this young man that I took pity on. Maybe it was because he was so very, very sad. Maybe it was his amazing height. I knew that, according to studies, tall white men should be successful. The fact that he wasn�t just didn�t seem right. He must have had so many other hidden things working against him.

Maybe it was all those things that made me want to help him. Or maybe it was the wet fifty dollar bill he slipped into my hand.

�Look, maybe I can help,� I said. �Just a second.�

At that moment, Stan Lee was walking by. He was mobbed by more fans than even I. But those fans parted, like a stinky sea parting before San Diego Moses, as I walked toward �The Man.�

�Chip!� shouted Stan. �So wonderful to see you again!� We embraced.

�Same, old friend. Same.�

We exchanged a long look. I could see in his eyes the pride he felt, knowing what great things lay before me, knowing his creations were in capable, loving hands. And he could see in my eyes a confidence that, yes, I would take care of his creations and respect them, because by respecting his creations, I would respect him, which meant the world to me.

Just then Stan gagged a little. I was about to do the Zdarsky maneuver (a better version of the heimlich maneuver), thinking he was choking on a hot dog, but that wasn�t it at all.

�What�s that godawful smell?� Stan cried.

�Ah, that�s��

�I�m Ryan Stegman, sir!� Ryan put forth his hand for a handshake, but I batted it away just in time.

�I�m sorry, Stan,� I said. �This is a � young � artist who wants to work for Marvel. He�s � not ready to tackle the big characters, but I was thinking maybe someone with no real face to speak of � whose muscles defied rational anatomy. Something in an entirely black costume so he could hide his many errors with gobs of his stale ink. I�m thinking � Venom.�

�Is that one of mine?� Stan asked.

�No, sir� I replied.

�Then sure.�

The speed with which Ryan pissed himself hearing that affirmation surely broke some sort of record in a disgusting spin-off Guinness book. Stan moved away quickly, as did all the onlookers, leaving me and Ryan and a carpet stain the size of a child�s inflatable pool.

�My GOD, mister! That was amazing! Who was that man? Mr. Marvel?�

Of course he wouldn�t know who Stan Lee was.

�Sure, Ryan. That was �Mr. Marvel.� You have a shot now, okay? A shot at being a real Marvel artist. I don�t want you to blow this.�

�Oh, I won�t, mister! I�m gonna devote all my free time to this when I�m not on twitter looking for affirmation or watching reality TV about sexy singles or having my many daily baths or yelling at kids who aren�t mine while they play sports or paying my wife to stay with me or snacking on Doritos that have been crushed and re-formed to look like carrots or takin� big ol� shits or whizzin� like there�s no tomorrow or of course sleeping 16 hours a day!�

Oh, god, what have I done? Usually I�m supernaturally gifted at making excellent decisions (see: my career), but this could go horribly wrong and ruin my reputation in the industry! I needed to save this somehow.

�Uh, hey, Ryan. I�ll tell you what. When your first issue of Venom comes out, I�ll order 200,000 copies in order to give you the illusion of a hit. I have a lot of money so it�s not a big deal for me.�

�Yeah, that makes sense.� Ryan didn�t even thank me, but I couldn�t hold it against him. He clearly had no upbringing to speak of, as evidenced by how he would mutter �gently caress off mom I�m big now� every time a woman would walk by.

Ryan turned and stumbled away, the enormity of what I just did for him not coming close to settling past his incredibly thick skull. As he started to disappear into the crowds I heard him say, �I wonder if DC is hiring too.�

It�s been a couple of years since that day and I don�t regret a thing. I shudder to think what could have become of poor Ryan if he�d left that convention without a job. And I also managed to accrue 200,000 copies of Venom #1, which I give out on Hallowe�en to kids once the candy runs out.

I look at Ryan on twitter now and marvel at how far he�s come, showing a certain amount of life satisfaction from the thousands of Russian bots that follow him on a social media site. I�m glad I stopped him from murdering Mark Waid. And I�m glad to call him an �online friend.�

# ? Oct 7, 2020 16:49

Yvonmukluk: Oct 10, 2012; Everything is Sinister

How Wonderful! posted:

Hey bud, check the rules thread, this is a Kindred free zone.

Edit: If you are the Octavia Butler novel Kindred that's fine and I apologize for the bother.

It's this harsh-but-fair rule enforcement that makes you a great mod.

Speaking of Kindred, I can't believe that he's presumably being revealed next issue! I didn't see that coming!

Speaking of the issue, though, it's still a great story, including the backup stories.

There's a dog wizard!

# ? Oct 7, 2020 18:08

Lord_Hambrose: Nov 21, 2008; *a foul hooting fills the air*

Glad ASM (which is a painful book to pay 10 bucks for, based on the story content) has a rare Vulture story that starts of really fun and interesting and has a miserable ending.

Let my man Vulture get a win, poo poo.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 18:12

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Yvonmukluk posted:

There's a dog wizard!

Bats?

# ? Oct 7, 2020 18:17

Yvonmukluk: Oct 10, 2012; Everything is Sinister

Skwirl posted:

Bats?

No, it's a new character. Her name is Tina Fourshoes. :3:

# ? Oct 7, 2020 18:27

howe_sam: Mar 7, 2013; Creepy little garbage eaters

So in Black Widow, where did Arcade get the baby? Thompson doing a spin on Long Kiss Goodnight is a fun idea and Casagrande's art is soooo good.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 18:39

Gatts: Jan 2, 2001; Goodnight Moon; Nap Ghost

So who was Kindred?

# ? Oct 7, 2020 18:56

Codependent Poster: Oct 20, 2003

Gatts posted:

So who was Kindred?

A mysterious entity tied to Peter Parker's past!

(They didn't say.)

# ? Oct 7, 2020 19:01

Yvonmukluk: Oct 10, 2012; Everything is Sinister

Lord_Hambrose posted:

Glad ASM (which is a painful book to pay 10 bucks for, based on the story content) has a rare Vulture story that starts of really fun and interesting and has a miserable ending.

Let my man Vulture get a win, poo poo.

I mean...he killed the Gibbon less than a year ago.

howe_sam posted:

So in Black Widow, where did Arcade get the baby? Thompson doing a spin on Long Kiss Goodnight is a fun idea and Casagrande's art is soooo good.

Maybe from the Red Room? I think I saw the Red Ghost in the silhouettes of the various mysterious villains, and we know Red Guardian's also part of this. I wonder if the babysitter is going to turn out to be Red Widow? She seems too young to be Yelena Belova.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 19:19

Rhyno: Mar 22, 2003; Can't post for 10 years!

Kindred......starts with K

Yeah, he's Knull.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 19:40

Endless Mike: Aug 13, 2003

Kindred is "Derdnik" spelled backwards, which sounds Russian.... Someone who is rushin' to beat Spider-Man...KINDRED IS ROCKET RACER!!!

# ? Oct 7, 2020 20:26

Gripweed: Nov 8, 2018

I'm not sure about a bitter Ultraman who doesn't believe humanity can improve. That's kinda the opposite of Ultraman

# ? Oct 7, 2020 21:18

OnimaruXLR: Sep 15, 2007; Lurklurklurklurklurk

Gripweed posted:

I'm not sure about a bitter Ultraman who doesn't believe humanity can improve. That's kinda the opposite of Ultraman

It basically sets up a pretty bog-standard character arc, though

Which is really my problems with Marvel Ultraman in a nutshell. They shoulda got a real freaky scifi guy to write it. I bet Grant Morrison could right the living daylights out of Ultraman.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 21:54

Rev. Bleech_: Oct 19, 2004; ~OKAY, WE'LL DRINK TO OUR LEGS!~

Gatts posted:

So who was Kindred?

Codependent Poster posted:

A mysterious entity tied to Peter Parker's past!

it's pretty loving obvious it's a gritty reimagining of Big Wheel I dunno why y'all are so hype about it

# ? Oct 7, 2020 22:16

Lord_Hambrose: Nov 21, 2008; *a foul hooting fills the air*

Rev. Bleech_ posted:

it's pretty loving obvious it's a gritty reimagining of Big Wheel I dunno why y'all are so hype about it

Please, Betty Brant is the obvious answer.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 22:25

howe_sam: Mar 7, 2013; Creepy little garbage eaters

Yvonmukluk posted:

I mean...he killed the Gibbon less than a year ago.

Maybe from the Red Room? I think I saw the Red Ghost in the silhouettes of the various mysterious villains, and we know Red Guardian's also part of this. I wonder if the babysitter is going to turn out to be Red Widow? She seems too young to be Yelena Belova.

That all seems pretty likely. I remember in the run up to the series Thompson said it wasn't going to be yet another Red Room story, but this would be enough of a twist on that formulation that it doesn't count. And yeah, the babysitter is definitely Someone.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 22:37

Dawgstar: Jul 15, 2017

howe_sam posted:

That all seems pretty likely. I remember in the run up to the series Thompson said it wasn't going to be yet another Red Room story, but this would be enough of a twist on that formulation that it doesn't count. And yeah, the babysitter is definitely Someone.

Yeah, Thompson said that the series was going to have some stuff similar to the movie, which could mean anything (I can guess it refers to at least one character), and then after this story arc she was free and clear to do whatever she wanted.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 22:41

cant cook creole bream: Aug 15, 2011; I think Fahrenheit is better for weather

This Spider-Man comic put some heavy focus on Ghost-Spider and on how she isn't the one from this universe, since Norman killed that one.
Kindred is her. She wants revenge because Peter crushed her spine, killing her.
They are honestly keeping that Kindred reveal a bit to much under wraps. When did they first show up? Was it in the Kraven arc? That was years ago. They kinda need some impressive reveal to make it feel worth it. But maybe it will just be a random side character from some comic 30 years ago.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 22:56

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Assuming you mean 616 Gwen Stacy, Spider-Man did pretty much the opposite of crushing her spine.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 23:04

cant cook creole bream: Aug 15, 2011; I think Fahrenheit is better for weather

Skwirl posted:

Assuming you mean 616 Gwen Stacy, Spider-Man did pretty much the opposite of crushing her spine.

Honestly, I never read that. I was under the impression that Norman dropped her, Pete tried to webcatch her and did it so abruptly that she died anyway. Did she just hit the ground/water before he reached her?

# ? Oct 7, 2020 23:10

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

cant cook creole bream posted:

Honestly, I never read that. I was under the impression that Norman dropped her, Pete tried to webcatch her and did it so abruptly that she died anyway. Did she just hit the ground/water before he reached her?

Peter web caught her by the foot and either she was already dead or her neck snapped. If anything the problem was her spine getting too long too quickly. Opposite of crushing.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 23:15

Codependent Poster: Oct 20, 2003

cant cook creole bream posted:

Honestly, I never read that. I was under the impression that Norman dropped her, Pete tried to webcatch her and did it so abruptly that she died anyway. Did she just hit the ground/water before he reached her?

It's left ambiguous as to if Gwen was dead when Norman threw her off, or if Spidey catching her with his web caused whiplash that killed her. Marvel has said either was the reason for it, so there's no definitive answer. Though after she was thrown, there was likely no way for Spidey to save her regardless.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 23:16

cant cook creole bream: Aug 15, 2011; I think Fahrenheit is better for weather

Skwirl posted:

Peter web caught her by the foot and either she was already dead or her neck snapped. If anything the problem was her spine getting too long too quickly. Opposite of crushing.

Oh yeah sure, Wrong word choice. Either way, Peter killed her. It was all his fault. For some reason he seems to have forgotten at some point. Now she'll remind him.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 23:17

radlum: May 13, 2013

cant cook creole bream posted:

This Spider-Man comic put some heavy focus on Ghost-Spider and on how she isn't the one from this universe, since Norman killed that one.
Kindred is her. She wants revenge because Peter crushed her spine, killing her.
They are honestly keeping that Kindred reveal a bit to much under wraps. When did they first show up? Was it in the Kraven arc? That was years ago. They kinda need some impressive reveal to make it feel worth it. But maybe it will just be a random side character from some comic 30 years ago.

Kindred's first appearance was right on the first issue of Spencer's run. We are close to 60 issues (between the 49 so far and some oddly numbered issues) with Spencer and still no reveal; I don't think whatever identity Kindred has will be worth such a long wait.

Also, I really didn't need Norman bringing back Sins Past, especially since the Spider-Gwen is younger than 616 Gwen.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 23:33

Dawgstar: Jul 15, 2017

radlum posted:

Also, I really didn't need Norman bringing back Sins Past, especially since the Spider-Gwen is younger than 616 Gwen.

Oh. Oh, ew.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 23:44

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

Huh, maybe I should give Spencer's Spider-Man a shot, it surely can't be as gross as the Superior Spider-Man poo poo involving his aunt and Doc Ock.

radlum posted:

Also, I really didn't need Norman bringing back Sins Past, especially since the Spider-Gwen is younger than 616 Gwen.

Okay then.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 23:49

How Wonderful!: Jul 18, 2006; I only have excellent ideas

cant cook creole bream posted:

Oh yeah sure, Wrong word choice. Either way, Peter killed her. It was all his fault. For some reason he seems to have forgotten at some point. Now she'll remind him.

I feel like the guy who threw her off a bridge on purpose is a little bit to blame.

# ? Oct 7, 2020 23:56

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# ? May 26, 2024 10:31

Air Skwirl: May 13, 2007; Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed shitposting.

How Wonderful! posted:

I feel like the guy who threw her off a bridge on purpose is a little bit to blame.

Which one is more frequently described as a "menace"?

# ? Oct 8, 2020 00:06

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > BSS: Bisexual Super Son > Marvel Comics Megathread: Empyrean Appreciation Station

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