christmas boots posted:

https://twitter.com/hdoomguy/status/951728397511741440?s=21

Chomp8645 posted:

Twat in tarnation!

christmas boots posted:

https://twitter.com/HDoomguy/status/951729033938685952

Shame Boy posted:

I clicked the account that posted that tweet out of curiosity and it's got a big ol' dick as a pinned tweet, just fyi if anyone's at work and thought of doing the same thing.

Shame Boy posted:

I clicked the account that posted that tweet out of curiosity and it's got a big ol' dick as a pinned tweet, just fyi if anyone's at work and thought of doing the same thing.

Homeless Friend posted:

Cold on a Cob posted:

true, but computers are masters at malicious compliance

Spatial posted:

i've worked on several issues in the last few years which were estimated at 3-5 days but wound up taking over 3 months each

Antonymous posted:

what are points in the computer toucher world

T-man posted:

Desperately, weepingly looking up epistemology texts to justify the creepy Ellen page e-sexdoll, yelling "generic body model" as my mom walks in and does a deepfake of a child she could have been proud of

Kreeblah posted:

Bullshit. They're pure, unadulterated bullshit.

Capital wants to know how to most efficiently exploit labor, so they latch onto any psuedo-scientific sounding crap that promises to give them numbers to look at. Agile methodology is that. The idea is that you have sprints (defined chunks of time like two weeks or whatever) that your team does stuff in, and the team has a certain amount it's possible to do in that time. Theoretically, that's measured in points, so you estimate how much stuff you'll be able to fit in the sprint by how many points your team has available, and how many each thing will be to do.

However, you get into a few problems here. First, nobody knows what a point is. Is it a measurement of time? If so, how much time per point? Or is it a measure of difficulty or effort? Who knows? But you'd better get the number right. Which brings me to the second problem: everybody sucks at estimating. Sometimes you get things right, based on whichever definition of a "point" you're using (which is hopefully in the same universe as the definitions used by other people where you are). But sometimes you're laughably off, like the three-days-turning-into-three-months thing (or the opposite). And then you have people making timelines off of what are effectively guesses pulled out of somebody's rear end that get set in stone as The Delivery Date Which Shall Be Met.

In case you can't tell, I'm not much of a fan. Maybe it works somewhere, but I've never seen it.

Zeppelin Insanity posted:

At company, we believe that human capital is our most important resource I write with tears of empathy welling up in my eyes

Kreeblah posted:

In case you can't tell, I'm not much of a fan. Maybe it works somewhere, but I've never seen it.

Zamujasa posted:

And it's always the fault of the workers, too. Never the idiot manager who ruined everything; the workers were just too overpaid / underproductive / not completely subservient and that's clearly why things failed, not because they hosed with something that was working fine and ruined it.

(Only to move on to the next and do the same thing there.)

Suspicious posted:

mba's are just one giant international grift

Inceltown posted:

Suspicious posted:

mba's are just one giant international grift

Ghost Leviathan posted:

David Cageposting


So much about software development is explained by management desperately trying to justify their paychecks while seething at the programmers who have actual skills which can't be easily replaced

quote:

This is a profound psychological violence here. How can one even begin to speak of dignity in labour when one secretly feels one's job should not exist? How can it not create a sense of deep rage and resentment. Yet it is the peculiar genius of our society that its rulers have figured out a way, as in the case of the fish-fryers, to ensure that rage is directed precisely against those who actually do get to do meaningful work. For instance: in our society, there seems a general rule that, the more obviously one's work benefits other people, the less one is likely to be paid for it. Again, an objective measure is hard to find, but one easy way to get a sense is to ask: what would happen were this entire class of people to simply disappear? Say what you like about nurses, garbage collectors, or mechanics, it's obvious that were they to vanish in a puff of smoke, the results would be immediate and catastrophic. A world without teachers or dock-workers would soon be in trouble, and even one without science fiction writers or ska musicians would clearly be a lesser place. It's not entirely clear how humanity would suffer were all private equity CEOs, lobbyists, PR researchers, actuaries, telemarketers, bailiffs or legal consultants to similarly vanish. (Many suspect it might markedly improve.) Yet apart from a handful of well-touted exceptions (doctors), the rule holds surprisingly well.

dex_sda posted:

Also funny story about the 'agilist' wanker. This fucker was paid like 200k usd a year to review the agile process of all the teams the client had. And we consistently saw a few teams beat us in his reviews - this was about the time me and the argentinian were starting to have a mandate from our team to be de facto leaders. He found out that the best scored team was using 'story points' to denote literal hours. So we just multiplied our own story points by 10 and suddenly we were doing great! Then when we started faking the metrics completely so we had a nearly perfect burndown we rocketed to the most agile team tm.

The motherfucker was getting paid 200k to run a script once a month and rank teams, I'm convinced, rating the story points and the consistency between sprints. He would also sometimes join a sprint planning of the team his script said was bad. People got fired on that fucker's recommendations.

Giga Gaia posted:

a fairly large ecomm i worked for once paid an outside consultant like 300k to run a accessibility audit and what they got back was the one built into chrome with worse suggestions than the two inhouse ui/ux guys were suggesting for months prior or that our team would run monthly for our own amusement. god i love grift. wish i had the stomach for it

bike tory posted:

I feel like one of the easiest ways to make money these days is to call yourself a wellbeing consultant and run workshops teaching stressed employees that actually thinking positive thoughts and talking to colleagues only about positive things will help their stress more than changing the conditions of their work. I think pretty much every company budgets a decent amount for "employee wellbeing" these days and it's basically just free money sitting there for the taking.

bike tory posted:

I feel like one of the easiest ways to make money these days is to call yourself a wellbeing consultant and run workshops teaching stressed employees that actually thinking positive thoughts and talking to colleagues only about positive things will help their stress more than changing the conditions of their work. I think pretty much every company budgets a decent amount for "employee wellbeing" these days and it's basically just free money sitting there for the taking.

Len posted:

I think my bosses realize I want to leave because I just got another raise and it's not raise time. I mean I'm okay with making a whole like 30 cents an hour more but it was hard enough to find a new job that matched my $16/hr rate and they've given me an extra dollar since 2019

Fame Douglas posted:

They simply did it this way because it was the least amount of work.

T-man posted:

How long until chuds start searching for the alert before going out to eat?