The Jase Regal Memorial Bad Takes Thread: your a dipship

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > The Jase Regal Memorial Bad Takes Thread: your a dipship

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IronCladBurrito: Aug 11, 2002; Excuse me, is this where the bitches are found?

Pylons posted:

They blacklisted [...] Vickie for being associated with AEW.

...the gently caress? After what she put herself through for WWE? Spiteful little bastards.

---

Side question -- did they blacklist people who did Dark Side of the Ring (and weren't already blacklisted)?

# ? Oct 8, 2020 20:37

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# ? May 17, 2024 20:11

Vince MechMahon: Jan 1, 2008

IronCladBurrito posted:

...the gently caress? After what she put herself through for WWE? Spiteful little bastards.

---

Side question -- did they blacklist people who did Dark Side of the Ring (and weren't already blacklisted)?

Who did it that wasn't already? Like I'm just assuming Jericho is persona non grata as well.

# ? Oct 8, 2020 21:30

Roman Reigns: Aug 23, 2007

Pylons posted:

They blacklisted DDP and Vickie for being associated with AEW.

And Jake Roberts

# ? Oct 8, 2020 21:42

IronCladBurrito: Aug 11, 2002; Excuse me, is this where the bitches are found?

Vince MechMahon posted:

Who did it that wasn't already? Like I'm just assuming Jericho is persona non grata as well.

Idk... Godfather, dlo, droz? Maybe they were blackballed and I didn't know.

# ? Oct 8, 2020 21:51

fatherofmustard: May 15, 2018

https://twitter.com/SeanBunting2/status/1314361630759825408

# ? Oct 9, 2020 01:48

MassRafTer: May 26, 2001; BAEST MODE!!!

Since this is now only available via google cache

:nws:

quote:

The SmarK Rant for Girls Gone Wild: The PPV
October 20, 2018October 20, 2018 by Scott Keith

Girls Gone Wild

�No no no, we can�t do that, that�s enough��
� Coachman on about 18 different occasions.

� Just a reminder that recapping anything WWE-related can sometimes be a dangerous task and should not be attempted by anyone who isn�t either a trained professional like myself, or really drunk. Like myself on weekends. Sadly, today is a Thursday.

� This is pretty much a WWE show under the GGW name, so let�s try a recap.

� Live from South Padre Island, Texas, wherever the hell that is.

� Your hosts are (and I�m not making this up) The Coach & Stacy Keibler. Yes, because when you think of hot college chicks getting naked, think of JONATHAN COACHMAN.

� This was originally supposed to be in Panama City, but legal reasons forced them to switch to another locale, and SEVERELY tone down the usual content for the Girls Gone Wild stuff. That should have been a red light right there, but where there�s PPV revenue to be had, there�s the WWE. Now, having seen my share of the videos, I had a pretty good idea of what I was at the very least expecting to see going in. Tits, sure. rear end, definitely. The occasional softcore lesbian action, why not? At the very least, I figured, for $20 and with the WWE hyping the �who looks better naked� challenge with a former stripper and a current Playboy centerfold, there�d be SOMEONE from the WWE showing their poo poo as advertised. That�s not asking too much for a PPV clearly rated �MA�.

� The concept for the show is the �Miss GGW 2003� pageant, as they�re set up on a stage for the main part of the show, with throws to various locations elsewhere. Coach explains the rules as though anyone cares.

� Meanwhile, in Panama City, Josh Matthews encourages some girls to flash.

� Your judges: Torrie Wilson (carrying a drink and looking pretty liquored), Test (also carrying a drink and a video camera, which is a good combo), Kylie Max (a supermodel who I don�t know), Snoop Dogg (so drunk he could be an honorary Canadian � more on that to come) and Joe Francis (the guy who owns the company doing a Herb Abrams deal).

� First contestant: Robin, who can do it every night. Test asks if she spits or swallows. The answer is obvious.

� Next, Asimina, who loves mechanical bulls. Kylie wants to know how many orgasms she�s had in a night? 10.

� Kathryn (with nothing to flash) gets quizzed by Torrie on how to give a perfect blowjob (hearing her ask is a bit weird) and doesn�t really answer.

� Mayra, from Texas, gets asked by Snoop what her favorite position is. Coach cuts her off and we move along.

� Kerry the Virgin is next and is quizzed by Joe on when she lost her virginity (thus prompting HUGE heel heat from the audience) and Snoop calls her a bitch.

� Nikki (with glasses) would do both Superman and Batman at once.

� Donna Sun (who had a lesbian threesome before she lost her virginity) is asked by Test to demonstrate oral sex on the microphone. Coach cuts her off after about 2 seconds. �That bitch is a star!� declares Snoop.

� Bridgett is next, and she also does the microphone deal and also gets stopped by Coach after 2 seconds.

� Renee (�Yeah, bitch�, in the words of Snoop) is asked by Torrie about past lesbian experiences, but passes and gets booted off.

� Shahlah (who loves to climb long hard poles, apparently) shows her flexibility for Test. Joe wants to know her ultimate lesbian fantasy � she wants �two girls with the rabbits� and Coach freaks out.

� Foshah (looking like an even sluttier Heather Graham) gets spanked by Test on the way to the stage (which Stacy is remarkably cool with) and Snoop wants to know who she�d go down on to win. She picks Torrie.

� Last up, Staceie (with the first gratuitous flash of the night) is asked by Joe what she�d do with the $25,000 prize. She flashes again. Good answer! Joe is really lame and uncool, by the way.

End of round one.

� Okay, so far so good in terms of the more risqu� attitude and general nudity.

� Meanwhile, back in Panama, Josh and more girls. They advocate drinking.

� Meanwhile, at the beach house, we get a lame video package of �funny� GGW moments.

Round Two.

� This is basically where the show runs out of ideas, for those keeping track.

� Robin (in lingerie) walks over the Testicle Cam. Asimina flashes. Kathryn (still no tits) does nothing of note. Mayra does nothing. Kerry is wearing even MORE clothes. Nikki is still wearing the glasses. Donna Sun loves Canadians, so she gives Test a lapdance, which we don�t see. Bridgett does nothing. Renee does the splits at the request of Stacy. Shahlah does nothing. Foshah is called over by Joe & Snoop and does some unfair influencing of them. Staceie takes off her top (showing more plastic than the Tupperware factory) and that�s it. The whole thing was like 5 minutes long and they were just rushed out there one after another.

� Wrestlemania XIX commercial. Gotta love cross-promotion.

� Another GGW clip and some chicks in a hot tub intro another �funny� moment.

� Coach stops to shill the new Playboy with Torrie. I stand in awe of the marketing machine that is the WWE.

� Body Challenge: Torrie v. Nidia. Nidia comes out, refuses to take off her top (despite being a former stripper) and thus draws heel heat. Why you would want to piss off your audience? Torrie comes out in a bikini and Stacy does a tequila shot off her chest (only lasted about 2 seconds), and she�s about to take off her top when Nidia clocks her with a chair in a lame bit and they get into a quick fight before being dragged apart by security. Yes, they booked a WRESTLING ANGLE on a softcore porn PPV. And a bad one at that. Torrie is �injured� and Snoop is so concerned that he yells �Get the rear end shot!� as she�s lying in pain on the stage. You wouldn�t think that you could gently caress up a challenge where girls take off their tops, but there ya go. So basically they get people to pay $20 to see something you can�t see on Smackdown, and then deliver the same stupid non-finish you see on Smackdown and just as much skin, if not less.

� Swimsuit competition. The girls are all rushed out again, this time in bikinis, and rushed off again. Asimina does a backflip and Snoop comments that he�d like to see her do it with a dick in her mouth. He is the ONLY thing saving this show. Stacy encourages Nikki to show her tits, but she refuses. Yeah, that�s what I want to see on this sort of show � the girls NOT flashing. Joe & Snoop keep encouraging them to do more and the producers keep rushing them off the stage instead.

� Video clip of a girl calling her mom before flashing.

And now the final portion (thankfully)�the Talent Contest.

� Test has a big wheel with various challenges on it for the girls.

� Robin is up first, and the wheel lands on �Build a Bikini�, so she gets whipped cream sprayed on her tits by Stacy. Test is so drunk that he can barely get the �lose your top� chant out. **

� Asimina gets the quaintly named �Balls in the Mouth�. This turns out to be stuffing marshmallows into her mouth. Yay. Coach, perennial wet blanket, keeps rushing her off the stage. DUD

� Kathryn gets �Juggle Water Balloons�, which is so lame that Test moves it to �Phalic (sic) Food Fun� instead. She deep-throats a pickle and a banana. Now that�s talent. Snoop chants �suck me� and his mic is cut off. ***

� Mayra draws �Be GGW� and goes topless. She adds the whipped cream, but it�s been done. **1/2

� Kerry the Virgin gets �Fake an Orgasm� after some deft wheel-fixing from Test while Joe suggests �Losing Your Virginity to Snoop� and Snoop chants �Suck this dick�. She does the worst fake orgasm I�ve ever heard and gets moved along. Thankfully. She�s cute, but entering a contest where nudity is the defining factor and then refusing to show anything is pretty counterproductive. Snoop turns on her when she refuses to lift her skirt. DUD

� Nikki and her glasses get �Spit or Swallow�. Stacy pours chocolate sauce down her throat while Snoop cheers her on. The crowning moment is Test holding a can of whipped cream to his crotch and spraying it all over her. That was worth at least $0.50 of the $20 price. ****1/2

� Donna Sun gets �Tounge (sic) Olympics� after a miraculous spin by Test, and she makes out with Shalah, who seems to be less than into it. Still, topless chicks making out, that�s gotta be worth something. ***1/4 Donna starts licking further down and Coach again cuts them off.

� Bridgett (�Look at the poo poo on that girl! drat!� declares Snoop) gets �Fake An Orgasm� and definitely does a better job than Kerry. She�s more the quiet type, though. Snoop sums things up: �She�s the type of motherfucker that watches the silent movie.� *1/2

� Renee gets �Be GGW� as Snoops wants to gently caress her. Snoop is allowed to make the call on what going wild constitutes, but he leaves it up to her. He wants the panties pulled up her rear end, but she won�t play ball. That draws boos. DUD

� Shahlah gets �Balls in the Mouth� and has to pass marshmallows from her mouth to Donna Sun. �Don�t you eat my balls!� warns Snoop. �Just nibble on them.� **1/2

� Foshah brings Snoop over to the stage and he does the honors of spinning to Tounge Olympics, and this time it�s a three-way kiss. Three-ways suck. On each other, I mean. **

� Finally, Staceie gets topless right away and gets Phalic Food Fun, with the twist this time being that she and Foshah have to eat a banana together. First, she takes what appears to be a giant Bavarian sausage in her mouth. �Now that girl right there can suck a dick!�, the always eloquent Snoop notes. ****

We get a 30-second �freestyle� where the idea is for them to go topless, but only a few of them do. And finally audience reaction declares Donna Sun to be the winner. With the show rapidly falling to pieces, they bring audience members on stage for a final flash, end of show.

The Bottom Line:

Well, the production was nice, that�s for sure. The WWE�s guys gave the show a slick, live presentation.

Now the bad.

First of all, it was scheduled as a two-hour show and it ended up running 80 minutes.

Second, the show was basically sold on the WWE divas and none of them showed so much as a boob, which is ludicrous on a show that�s clearly rated Mature and was heavily advertised in advance as such.

Third, the Girls Going Wild weren�t particularly attractive or wild. Whatever the selection process was for the �final 12�, it sucked.

Fourth, their choice to run a live, outdoor show basically crippled their ability to do ANYTHING the least bit crazy outside of endless flashing. Where�s the drunken lesbian sex? Hell, some of the contestants didn�t even go topless! The point of the GGW stuff is supposed to be random people showing their stuff, not the same 12 annoying people walking on stage 4 times.

Fifth, the main portions of the show were incredibly rushed and pointless, while two of the �competitions� (formal wear and evening wear) were redundant and needless.

I will say this � the concept as far as the WWE is concerned is worth looking into. This is the kind of thing they can use to pay off stuff like HLA and the Dawn-Torrie lesbian angle that they can�t do on free TV, and it�s catering to the exact demographic they want. Unfortunately, this was not the show that fulfilled those sorts of expectations for people who ordered based on the hype from the WWE. There are absolutely people who would buy a $10 PPV based on the promise of seeing the Divas naked or more. I wouldn�t throw out the baby with the bathwater in this case � it�s a good idea that needs someone other than GGW as the sleaze-merchants behind it.

Would I plunk down $20 to see it again? No, absolutely not. Unless more was shown or done, it�s not worth it in the least. Maybe $10 would have been acceptable, but even for that amount you can get actual porn on PPV.

As a curiosity it had its moments, as a show it sucked dick. Your call if it�s worth $20 to hear Torrie asking another woman what her ideal blowjob would be.

Thumbs WAY down.

Mod Edit: Post is on-topic but also really gross, so I've spoiler tagged and :nws:

tagged it.

Somebody fucked around with this message at 08:49 on Oct 9, 2020

# ? Oct 9, 2020 02:33

Cerebral Bore: Apr 21, 2010; Fun Shoe

Thanks for posting the softcore porn show review, I hate it.

# ? Oct 9, 2020 06:56

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

That's on topic for the thread but also gross as gently caress, so I've spoiler tagged it and put on :nws:

tags.

Is Scott Keith still doing wrestling related stuff? I (mercifully) haven't heard his name in a long, long time.

# ? Oct 9, 2020 08:50

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

Jerusalem posted:

That's on topic for the thread but also gross as gently caress, so I've spoiler tagged it and put on tags.

Is Scott Keith still doing wrestling related stuff? I (mercifully) haven't heard his name in a long, long time.

The last I checked he's still posting on his Blog of Doom. So if you want the The SmarK Rant for AEW Dynamite he's got you covered!

# ? Oct 9, 2020 10:29

your friend sk: Dec 10, 2005; (ヤイケス!)

imagine having an opinion on a wwe pin-ups ppv in 2018 lmao

# ? Oct 9, 2020 14:51

MassRafTer: May 26, 2001; BAEST MODE!!!

sk posted:

imagine having an opinion on a wwe pin-ups ppv in 2018 lmao

It's a repost of a review he wrote back in 2003, but his post doesn't really make that clear! Nor could I tell you why he picked this particular review to repost in TYOOL 2018.

# ? Oct 9, 2020 15:03

your friend sk: Dec 10, 2005; (ヤイケス!)

MassRafTer posted:

It's a repost of a review he wrote back in 2003, but his post doesn't really make that clear! Nor could I tell you why he picked this particular review to repost in TYOOL 2018.

ahh ok, that makes more sense. I just assumed he was a horny wrestling fan upset that he didn't get to see boobs

# ? Oct 9, 2020 15:15

MassRafTer: May 26, 2001; BAEST MODE!!!

sk posted:

ahh ok, that makes more sense. I just assumed he was a horny wrestling fan upset that he didn't get to see boobs

He was! And he wanted us to know it 15 years later.

# ? Oct 9, 2020 15:24

Big Dave: Nov 6, 2009; Friends don't shake hands, friends gotta hug!

quote:

Joe is really lame and uncool, by the way.

hmmmmm

# ? Oct 9, 2020 15:49

Pylons: Mar 16, 2009

quote:

Let's never refer to this man as being objective ever again. One was a masterpiece of professional wrestling, the other was sloppy. I don't think Cody/Lee was a bad match but it wasn't anywhere near the level that Balor/O'Reilly was.

As far as journalists go, Meltzer is as biased as any. He's a bought and paid AEW shill with no objectivity, so expecting honesty from him would be like waiting for Sean Hannity to be truthful about Biden. It's just not happening.

# ? Oct 9, 2020 18:47

JUNGLE BOY: Sep 23, 2019

https://twitter.com/thesuperjcast/status/1314614340712951808?s=20

This kind of elitism and gatekeeping sucks.

# ? Oct 9, 2020 22:14

Pylons: Mar 16, 2009

NJPW fans acting like WTL hasn't been the butt of every New Japan joke for the past 5 years.

# ? Oct 9, 2020 22:18

flatluigi: Apr 23, 2008; here come the planes

is that the right tweet or am I just not grasping the sarcasm

# ? Oct 9, 2020 22:18

JUNGLE BOY: Sep 23, 2019

flatluigi posted:

is that the right tweet or am I just not grasping the sarcasm

It�s very heavy sarcasm.

# ? Oct 9, 2020 22:21

Vince MechMahon: Jan 1, 2008

flatluigi posted:

is that the right tweet or am I just not grasping the sarcasm

He's being sarcastic.

# ? Oct 9, 2020 22:22

JUNGLE BOY: Sep 23, 2019

I can�t imagine being a pro wrestling fan and not having cross promotional dream matches. I loving hate WWE but if WWE actually played nice with others there are dozens of inter promotional matches I�d love to see with their roster.

# ? Oct 9, 2020 22:25

MJeff: Jun 2, 2011; THE LIAR

lol I thought that was just a genuine sentiment because Uno and Grayson are awesome.

NJPW fans are gonna be such whiny pricks about their company embarking on an extremely successful partnership and I'm so here for it.

# ? Oct 9, 2020 22:36

Pylons: Mar 16, 2009

Sometimes it feels like some of them have that underground/indie band attitude where half the reason they like what they do is because it's less popular comparatively.

# ? Oct 9, 2020 22:39

Gonzo McFee: Jun 19, 2010

Probably my own stupid wrestling opinion but I don't want the forbidden portal open yet. It feels that AEW doesn't need it yet as a company. It's still got its own stories to tell.

# ? Oct 9, 2020 22:40

MassRafTer: May 26, 2001; BAEST MODE!!!

https://twitter.com/thesuperjcast/status/1314615295575638017

# ? Oct 9, 2020 22:42

Pylons: Mar 16, 2009

Honestly if it was year 1 of AEW I'd be leery about a partnership because the relationship would probably be very similar to ROH's relationship with New Japan, but at this point AEW has done very well at standing on their own two feet.

# ? Oct 9, 2020 22:45

SatansOnion: Dec 12, 2011

MassRafTer posted:

https://twitter.com/thesuperjcast/status/1314615295575638017

casting aspersions on both MJF and Ishii? :toughguy:

# ? Oct 9, 2020 22:48

Pinche Rudo: Feb 8, 2005

I popped into the Super J cast discord and there was a big elitism/douchebag vibe that turned me off pretty quickly

# ? Oct 9, 2020 23:03

OctoberCountry: Oct 9, 2012

I'd very much like to watch Ishii beat the poo poo out of MJF

# ? Oct 9, 2020 23:05

MJeff: Jun 2, 2011; THE LIAR

MJF using every trick in the book to avoid his beating until it stopped working and he got his beating would be awesome.

# ? Oct 9, 2020 23:10

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

Uhhh yeah, MJF vs. Ishii sounds like a loving amazing match.

# ? Oct 9, 2020 23:31

Eat My Fuc: May 29, 2007; Can't post for 7 hours!

AEW generates a lot of negativity from terminally online people. I�ve never had bad experiences with AEW fans online though, they�re mostly chill. I�ve been pretty uncomfortable with the Bullet Club neckbeard types at their shows though, but I honestly think those guys will be gone by the time crowds come back.

# ? Oct 9, 2020 23:49

Benne: Sep 2, 2011; STOP DOING HEROIN

Are people still pretending that MJF is a bad wrestler

# ? Oct 9, 2020 23:55

History Comes Inside!: Nov 20, 2004

When was anyone pretending MJF was a bad wrestler?

This isn�t some snarky �you don�t have to pretend because he IS a bad wrestler� bullshit I genuinely don�t think I�ve ever seen anyone critical of his wrestling.

# ? Oct 9, 2020 23:58

MJeff: Jun 2, 2011; THE LIAR

History Comes Inside! posted:

When was anyone pretending MJF was a bad wrestler?

This isn�t some snarky �you don�t have to pretend because he IS a bad wrestler� bullshit I genuinely don�t think I�ve ever seen anyone critical of his wrestling.

People compared him to Miz a lot.

# ? Oct 10, 2020 00:00

Vince MechMahon: Jan 1, 2008

MJeff posted:

People compared him to Miz a lot.

He's like the miz if the miz was good.

# ? Oct 10, 2020 00:02

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

Closest I can think of that I saw posted around here was that he was still fairly green in-ring but more than made up for it with his promos and character work. His in-ring has improved immensely over the last year as well, which is basically to be expected when you take somebody talented and have them work a lot with much more experienced wrestlers and agents who help enhance strengths and hide weaknesses, as opposed to making them run knee-destroying drills for 10 years then call them up to the main roster to do 1 minute jobs and then sit in catering.

# ? Oct 10, 2020 00:02

Pylons: Mar 16, 2009

Yeah. The match he had with Jungle Boy on Dynamite is light years behind their match at DoN, and part of that can be attributed to it being a TV match vs. a PPV match, but MJF (and Jungle Boy) have both really gotten better since then.

# ? Oct 10, 2020 00:05

Dimebags Brain: Feb 18, 2013

Also Wardlow's interference spot would be much cooler than Gedo's obligatory spot in every Jay White match.

# ? Oct 10, 2020 00:11

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# ? May 17, 2024 20:11

Insertnamehere31: Jan 23, 2012; This could be the most one-sided fight since 1973 when Ali faced an eighty-foot tall mechanical Joe Frazier. My memory isn't what it used to be, but I think the entire Earth was destroyed.

Yeah this strikes me as a real weird thing to have an internet meltdown about.

Like god forbid the dark order compete in the same hallowed tournament as such legendary teams as Toru Yano & Colt Cabana or bad Luck Fale & Chase Owens

# ? Oct 10, 2020 00:19

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Hammer House: Stinger Splash Zone > The Jase Regal Memorial Bad Takes Thread: your a dipship

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