|
projecthalaxy posted:Also, a production note. There are four more updates in this season. After the end of the season, I am going to be taking a sabbatical from running the game for a little while. I'm starting to get a little burned out after 7 weeks of nightly updates. If someone else feels like it, they are more than welcome to run a season in this thread, or if not, I'll run another one in a couple of weeks or so. Thanks project, please enjoy the time off when this one is done 
|
#
?
Oct 26, 2020 02:31
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 9, 2024 14:07 |
|
|
owie wowie
|
|
#
?
Oct 26, 2020 03:01
|
|
|
Were you aware of it? It's Day and Night 6. That's the sixth one.  Evil Genes Betty is walking back to the clinic when she comes upon a crazy man. "GEORGES CARPENTIER LOOKS UPON ME WITH SCORN!", says the man. She's not sure what that means. "Are you well? Do you have brain damage?", she asks. "THE CAULIFLOWER CLUB JUDGES MY VOW!", he replies. She draws her daggers from her cardigan. Those dang old Evil Genes take over. NICK ALDIS HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!and so falls the NWA. Red Tyler sees the Crock and tries to hit him with a rock, but the Crock's face is very slippery for some reason, like its covered in some kind of polish. He slips away. Sexxxy Eddy gets another drop. Instead of food, medical, etc., the box is stamped "very funny recurring joke.: he opens it and yep, theres the picture. Shouldn't it at least be Vinceflex or something? but no. Misawadow thinks about home, again. He tries to remember where home is for him. Is it hollywood? all japan? atlanta? he's a little jumbled up.  The Crock's arrow whistles over Eddy's ear, taking a bit off. "Hey! What gives!", he says. "Well, I'm trying to kill you.", the Crock explains simply. "Oh yeah.", Eddy says. They continue to struggle. Elsewhere, Betty is a bit turned around. She can't see the clinic light, and she's gotten stuck in the forest. She decides, being a practical person, to simply start walking. She'll either find the beach or the river, then she can follow it back. Misawadow, since joining the NWA is no longer feasible, has now joined the Jobber Revolution. They plan a demonstration of skill and power that will force all the top guys to submit. Statistics Corner In Loving Memory Green Bastard - Bloodbath Mia Toretto - Bloodbath Ironman Heavymetalweight Title - Bloodbath Triple H (???) - Day 1 Swarm - Night 1 Shoko Nakajima - Night 1 Waylon Mercy - Night 1 Glacier - Day 2 Don Muraco - Day 2 Trapt - Night 2 Tekno Team 2000 - Night 2 Misao - Night 2 Zombie Limmy - Night 2 Dragon George - Day 3 JOHN CENA - Day 3 Dominic Toretto - Day 3 Sexy Archie - Day 3 Green - Day 3 Fred Durst - Day 3 Nick Cave - Night 3 SUPER HUMMAN - Night 3 Suzume - Night 3 Monty Brown - Night 3 Angie Hill - Day 4 Daddykins - Day 4 Bonesaw - Night 4 The Bad Seeds - The Feast Gary Jay - The Feast Lil Petey Pump - The Feast The Fiend - Day 5 Nick Aldis - Day 6 Kill Scoreboard The Crock - 6 (Muraco, Archie, Cave, HUMMAN, Seeds, Fiend) Nick Aldis (dec) - 4 (Trapt, Teknos, Misao, Limmy) Red Tyler - 3 (Angie, Daddykins, Petey) Sexxxy Eddy - 2 (Mia, Dom) SUPER HUMMAN (dec) - 2 (Green Bastard, CENA) Angie Hill (dec) - 1 (Suzume) Bonesaw (dec) - 1 (Title) Daddykins (dec) - 1 (Swarm) Don Muraco (dec) - 1 (HHH???) Evil Genes Betty - (Aldis) Misao (dec) - 1 (Shoko) Misawadow - 1 (Green, Monty) Monty Brown (dec) - 1 (Dragon) Suzume (dec) - 1 (Glacier) Tekno Team 2000 (dec) - 1 (Waylon) The Fiend - 1 (Gary)
|
|
#
?
Oct 27, 2020 03:02
|
|
|
i hope the crock dies
|
|
#
?
Oct 27, 2020 03:04
|
|
|
Death to Nick Aldis. Long Love Nick Aldis.
|
|
#
?
Oct 27, 2020 03:04
|
|
|
It's so on-point for The Crock to be the guy who refuses to lose to the jobber  Also love that after all this, Nick Aldis dies because Evil Betty just walked into him, whipped out some sais and stabbed him.
|
|
#
?
Oct 27, 2020 04:14
|
|
|
KungFu Grip posted:i hope the crock dies Die Crocky die
|
|
#
?
Oct 27, 2020 04:32
|
|
|
The saddest thing is nobody from the Cauliflower Club judges him because none of them care who he is.
|
|
#
?
Oct 27, 2020 05:47
|
|
|
projecthalaxy posted:Also, a production note. There are four more updates in this season. After the end of the season, I am going to be taking a sabbatical from running the game for a little while. I'm starting to get a little burned out after 7 weeks of nightly updates. If someone else feels like it, they are more than welcome to run a season in this thread, or if not, I'll run another one in a couple of weeks or so. Fair enough mate. It's a shame though, I already had my next joke entry prepared. Tom Cruise having a wee without his consent
|
|
#
?
Oct 27, 2020 08:05
|
|
|
Another short one today. We're coming down to the wire a bit. We're down to Booker T's fave five. It's Day 7. Now that she has some sunlight, Betty resolves not to repeat the mistakes of the night before. She explores the forest, making note of primary landmarks and angles. One thing she does not consider a mistake in need of correction is the brutal daggering of one Nicholas Aldis. He deserved it. Speaking of people who deserve it, The Crock has marched the Jobber Revolution up onto the edge of the cliff. He's had it with these people. They don't respect the natural order. He's a top star. Two top stars, really. He thinks these jobbers should be taught a lesson. He's found an AK left in the Ultra Arena by some former erotic terrorist or something, and he has prepared a little game. He forces Sexxxy Eddy to choose which of his compatriots to execute. Sexxxy Eddy, having a sudden moment of conscience or perhaps just terrified, can't answer. He just looks from one to the other. "Three.", says the Crock. "He's not even a real jobber! He's a TV guy! He's won titles!", Red Tyler pleads, attempting to campaign on the no true jobber movement. "Two.", intones The Great One. "He's not like us! He doesn't know the indie scene! He's a relic of a useless time! He doesn't know how to get twitter over!", counters Misawadow, finding common ground with Eddy. "One.", comes the words from behind the sunglasses. Eddy can't decide. He doesn't know if he's ready for this. "Zero.", says Hunter, I mean Rocky. He decides, and the rifle sings the song. SEXXXY EDDY HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!That's not very sexxxy.  A fearsome rainstorm floods the Ultra Arena. It's not a large island normally, and now both the beaches and the riverbanks are being encroached on by water. There's hardly a single dry place in the Arena, maybe the deeper parts of some of the caves. Even the clinic's waterproof canvas roof is starting to leak and sag. The four remaining entrants are all suffering from the storm. Evil Genes Betty is still resolutely staying in the clinic. Its supply of firewood is running low, and of course there isn't a dry stick to be found on the island anywhere tonight. She grabs another blanket and just suffers through it. She knows the blankets are going to be cold and wet when she wakes up, but what choice does she have? After the nightmare on the cliffs, Red Tyler just ran. He doesn't care if he betrayed the revolution. He just has to keep going so he can take the revolution back to Minny. He finds one of the caves and manages to find a shelf that's mostly dry. He sacrifices the coat he borrowed to dry it off and make a pillow. He's just drifted off when he hears the one voice he doesn't want to hear. "Hey.", the Crock says, not raising his voice. He knows he doesn't have to. That's what the rifle's for. "Beds are for top guys only.", he continues. Red sighs and gets up. He walks back into the rain. Misawadow isn't fairing much better. He tried sleeping in the branches of a tree until he fell out. Then he tried opening the door to the freezer, at least to get a roof over his head. Locked. Desperation starts to set in. Statistics Corner In Loving Memory Green Bastard - Bloodbath Mia Toretto - Bloodbath Ironman Heavymetalweight Title - Bloodbath Triple H (???) - Day 1 Swarm - Night 1 Shoko Nakajima - Night 1 Waylon Mercy - Night 1 Glacier - Day 2 Don Muraco - Day 2 Trapt - Night 2 Tekno Team 2000 - Night 2 Misao - Night 2 Zombie Limmy - Night 2 Dragon George - Day 3 JOHN CENA - Day 3 Dominic Toretto - Day 3 Sexy Archie - Day 3 Green - Day 3 Fred Durst - Day 3 Nick Cave - Night 3 SUPER HUMMAN - Night 3 Suzume - Night 3 Monty Brown - Night 3 Angie Hill - Day 4 Daddykins - Day 4 Bonesaw - Night 4 The Bad Seeds - The Feast Gary Jay - The Feast Lil Petey Pump - The Feast The Fiend - Day 5 Nick Aldis - Day 6 Sexxxy Eddy - Day 7 Kill Scoreboard The Crock - 7 (Muraco, Archie, Cave, HUMMAN, Seeds, Fiend, Eddy) Nick Aldis (dec) - 4 (Trapt, Teknos, Misao, Limmy) Red Tyler - 3 (Angie, Daddykins, Petey) Sexxxy Eddy (dec) - 2 (Mia, Dom) SUPER HUMMAN (dec) - 2 (Green Bastard, CENA) Angie Hill (dec) - 1 (Suzume) Bonesaw (dec) - 1 (Title) Daddykins (dec) - 1 (Swarm) Don Muraco (dec) - 1 (HHH???) Evil Genes Betty - (Aldis) Misao (dec) - 1 (Shoko) Misawadow - 1 (Green, Monty) Monty Brown (dec) - 1 (Dragon) Suzume (dec) - 1 (Glacier) Tekno Team 2000 (dec) - 1 (Waylon) The Fiend (dec) - 1 (Gary) Next time: 
|
|
#
?
Oct 28, 2020 01:46
|
|
|
Crock, like racism, is responsible for a lot more deaths than many would’ve expected.
|
|
#
?
Oct 28, 2020 02:16
|
|
|
I don't want to root for The Crock but after getting rid of Sexy Edward I think he's found a fan
|
|
#
?
Oct 28, 2020 02:27
|
|
|
The Crock is a monster.
|
|
#
?
Oct 28, 2020 02:38
|
|
|
Codependent Poster posted:The Crock is a monster. he's just getting heeeeaaaaatttt
|
|
#
?
Oct 28, 2020 02:45
|
|
|
Will Misawadow force the secret to be revealed?
|
|
#
?
Oct 28, 2020 02:46
|
|
|
Man even in a simulated game Eddy goes out by being a nice guy. True to life.
|
|
#
?
Oct 28, 2020 03:18
|
|
|
The Crock must be stopped and there's only one evil woman for the job
|
|
#
?
Oct 28, 2020 06:31
|
|
|
Red Tyler! My man's gonna do it. Jobber revolution, baby!
|
|
#
?
Oct 28, 2020 22:24
|
|
|
A triple dose for you tonight as we approach the grand finale. It's Day 8, Night 8, and Day 9.  Things are drawing to a close. Misawadow makes another spear, giving him a pair. That way, he can throw one and still have one, if it comes to that. His main goal is to get the drop on The Crock. Obviously the rifle is a problem, but if he can surprise the Crock enough, he can simply take care of that problem before it becomes a problem. The Crock sneaks up on the clinic. He figures Betty is inside, and he can quickly eliminate another threat. As he is about to approach, the entire clinic goes up like a bomb. The Crock heads for the hills. Betty watches from the trees. The clinic was out of supplies, mostly, and staying there just made her a target. So, she improvised a sort of meth lab bomb system and waited for that musclebound moron to drop by. Unfortunately her timing was slightly off. Elsewhere, Red Tyler has climbed to the top of an observation post to try and find the Crock. He plans to drop a boulder on him. Unfortunately, he loses his grip on the boulder, and regaining it takes his center of gravity a bit too far out. RED TYLER HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! Vive le revolution.  The tyrant of the Ultra Arena tosses and turns. He sees the fire at the clinic, he sees his previous kills. He sees a mysterious woman telling him "I will not marry you. You will not achieve nepotistic power through me. Nobody will let you run a noted super indy." He is not certain of the meaning of these dreams, but he ignores them. He is the champion. He has to be. Elsewhere, the two remaining opponents formally ally. They will not rest until the Crock is brought to justice. They don't have much in the way of common cause, but they do have a common enemy.  In addition to her daggers, Betty has added a large impact weapon to her arsenal. She made the climb to the top of the cornucopia to try to spot The Crock. There, in the crow's nest, is a large box of black baseball bats. "To all entrants: Please use these to ominously point at your rivals, like some kind of cool 90s guy - The Management", says the sign on the box. She's more interested in using it to cave in a certain afro'd head. She climbs down from the crow's nest and starts walking. Unfortunately, she's a bit too late for her erstwhile ally. He finds The Crock getting a drink from the river. He knows he should wait for Betty and use the numbers to their advantage, but he can't wait. He doesn't see the rifle, this is his chance. He hurls his first spear. Sadly, it goes slightly wide and splashes into the river, both removing it from play and alerting the Crock to his presence. A brief melee struggle ensues between Misawadow's second spear and a big knife the Crock took off of Eddy. They go back and forth, but eventually The Crock is able to stun Misawadow with a harley race knee lift, creating enough distance to run back and grab his AK. He puts a round into Misawadow's gut, then delivers the coup d'etat with his own spear. MISAWADOW HAS BEEN ELIMINATED! and the secret is safe. Statistics Corner In Loving Memory Green Bastard - Bloodbath Mia Toretto - Bloodbath Ironman Heavymetalweight Title - Bloodbath Triple H (???) - Day 1 Swarm - Night 1 Shoko Nakajima - Night 1 Waylon Mercy - Night 1 Glacier - Day 2 Don Muraco - Day 2 Trapt - Night 2 Tekno Team 2000 - Night 2 Misao - Night 2 Zombie Limmy - Night 2 Dragon George - Day 3 JOHN CENA - Day 3 Dominic Toretto - Day 3 Sexy Archie - Day 3 Green - Day 3 Fred Durst - Day 3 Nick Cave - Night 3 SUPER HUMMAN - Night 3 Suzume - Night 3 Monty Brown - Night 3 Angie Hill - Day 4 Daddykins - Day 4 Bonesaw - Night 4 The Bad Seeds - The Feast Gary Jay - The Feast Lil Petey Pump - The Feast The Fiend - Day 5 Nick Aldis - Day 6 Sexxxy Eddy - Day 7 Red Tyler - Day 8 Misawadow - Day 9 Kill Scoreboard The Crock - 9 (Muraco, Archie, Cave, HUMMAN, Seeds, Fiend, Eddy, Red, Misawadow) Nick Aldis (dec) - 4 (Trapt, Teknos, Misao, Limmy) Red Tyler (dec)- 3 (Angie, Daddykins, Petey) Sexxxy Eddy (dec)- 2 (Mia, Dom) SUPER HUMMAN (dec) - 2 (Green Bastard, CENA) Angie Hill (dec) - 1 (Suzume) Bonesaw (dec) - 1 (Title) Daddykins (dec) - 1 (Swarm) Don Muraco (dec) - 1 (HHH???) Evil Genes Betty - (Aldis) Misao (dec) - 1 (Shoko) Misawadow - 1 (Green, Monty) Monty Brown (dec) - 1 (Dragon) Suzume (dec) - 1 (Glacier) Tekno Team 2000 (dec) - 1 (Waylon) The Fiend (dec)- 1 (Gary) Next Time: The Finale, artist rendition below 
|
|
#
?
Oct 29, 2020 03:50
|
|
|
wow. after all this time, for the secret to never be revealed, is truly a tragedy. i've decided to reveal the secret on behalf of aron stevens who is dead. the secret is that he is only listed as having one kill in the kills hierarchy even though he had two kills. this could have changed everything if it hadn't turned out this way. maybe he would still be alive today
|
|
#
?
Oct 29, 2020 03:58
|
|
|
Cavauro posted:wow. after all this time, for the secret to never be revealed, is truly a tragedy. i've decided to reveal the secret on behalf of aron stevens who is dead. the secret is that he is only listed as having one kill in the kills hierarchy even though he had two kills. this could have changed everything if it hadn't turned out this way. maybe he would still be alive today Green was killed by Misawadow's stunt double, which is why he's listed under Misawadow's kill list but he's only credited with one. Not because I'm a dumb guy or anything.
|
|
#
?
Oct 29, 2020 04:09
|
|
|
I'm sorry for having a fake secret reveal that is not correct or interesting, just like the successful television shows always do
|
|
#
?
Oct 29, 2020 04:15
|
|
|
Waylon Mercy looks up at you from Hell Betty. You can do it.
|
|
#
?
Oct 29, 2020 04:20
|
|
|
Evil Genes Betty is no Veronica Mars, but I'm still gonna cheer for her over The Crock 
|
|
#
?
Oct 29, 2020 08:00
|
|
|
It could only ever be these two, the zoomer is gonna kick the rear end of the old dude in blackface. What an inspiration to us all
|
|
#
?
Oct 29, 2020 08:34
|
|
|
drat, taking credit for red tyler's death, the crock knows no shame
|
|
#
?
Oct 29, 2020 08:37
|
|
|
Boooooo But hey Tyler got to the final 4, kinda wish he took the Crock with him!
|
|
#
?
Oct 29, 2020 22:22
|
|
|
It's the end. Night has fallen over the Ultra Arena. Both The Crock and Betty Cooper know they have one target each. What they don't know is each other's locations. Betty decides to head to the forest. She knows the terrain from her studies, and there's not long sightlines that favor the gun toting Crock. Plus it's near the ruins of her clinic, which she still feels a fondness for. She can hear the Crock yelling and firing his rifle off at random in the distance. That's fine. She can wait. After an hour or so, his yelling gets closer. She climbs a tree and waits. He's stalking through the forest randomly, still impatiently trying to force a confrontation. He's underestimating her. Now, to be fair, he is a head taller than her and probably has a hundred pounds of muscle on her, plus of course the gun. But she has the advantage of not being a stupid psycho. The Crock is so close he can taste it. All he has to do is find some kid who hasn't even been broken into This Business and deal with her and then he is finally declared the Great One. He's not sure where Becky or whatever is, so he starts walking around taunting her and shooting the rifle off. He leaves five rounds in the mag, just in case. She'll have to come out eventually. When she does, he'll just beat her. Get the ol' shovel out. Prove to Each And Every One Of You that he is just That drat Good and that him winning is Best For Business. The Fact Of The Matter Is that she needs to realize that It's All About The Game. The Rock. He meant the Rock. The Crock. Whatever. The Nation of Domination is going to beat Riverdale. That's for sure. He wanders into the forest. She's probably back at the clinic. She had to blow her own clinic up to try and stop him! It didn't even work! He's the best! Nothing bad ever happens to the Crock! Wahahaha! Betty lets the muscle idiot walk past her, then slips down to the forest floor. She tries to get as close as possible before she reveals herself. She draws a sai and makes a leap for his neck. He hears her, spins around, grabs her out of the air and sends her crashing into the undergrowth. Betty takes a second, winded, then kicks up at him. He slaps her leg away and she rolls up to her feet. This is what she didn't want to happen, a straight up brawl. She's not in her element. Still, she has to try. Her sais move in and out, but that big Bowie knife of his keeps them at bay. The good news, for Betty, is he is essentially fighting one armed, as he refuses to take his left hand off the machine gun. She keeps circling to his left, and does get a good cut on his arm, but this isn't how she's going to win. She rolls backward, throws a puff of dust and pine needles into his eyes, and sprints off. The girl tried to jump him! That's not how you do things! A quick Double A Spinebuster saw to that. She had a couple of knives, but she found her arms were just a little too short to box with the King of Kings. She did nick his bicep though, which was annoying. After some psychology, she decided to cheat again and threw dirt in his eyes. Again, he can't believe she cheated. He would never cheat, personally. This is why you can't trust a vanilla midget. He clears his eyes with a convenient bottle of water and then sets about being the Detective of Detectives. It looks like she ran off to the south. He's got a very good idea of where she's going. She's going to go hide at her little clinic. He begins wondering which of his various theme songs he should request to be played when he wins. When he wins The Game, he can finally say it's "My Time". He'll be so happy he might just compose an Ode To his own Joy. He'll be the King of Kings. His fame will never suffer Degeneration X. Winning this will be the next Evolution of his Mystery. Betty runs past the clinic and into the deep forest. She watches and waits. Sure enough, the big lummox is stomping around on the ruins of the clinic like some kind of bizarre kaiju. She waits for him to turn around then throws the sai right into his left quad. She's been practicing this. He immediately crumples to the ground. She walks over, kicking the rifle out of his grasp. "Tell me something, Crock. Do you remember a man named Archie Andrews? This tall, good physique, you stabbed him in the stomach and left him to die? Well I do. He was a friend of mine, and I didn't appreciate you murdering him.", she says calmly. "OH SWEET JESUS MY LEG", responds the Crock, for once short a smug quip. "You did well though. You almost won, you got a lot of people. But there's just one thing you're missing." He looks up. "Influential in-laws?", he asks. "No.", she responds, leveling the rifle. "Serial." BANG! "Killer." BANG! "Genes." BANG BANG BANG! THE CROCK HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!  Which means, your 4th champion of the Hunger Games Match, the winner of the Deadly Game, the boss of the whole universe is none other than EVIL GENES BETTY!  It was surprisingly hard to find a picture of her holding something!
|
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2020 04:05
|
|
|
matt rear end in a top hat
|
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2020 04:22
|
|
|
Cavauro posted:matt rear end in a top hat he's just Riddle now
|
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2020 04:36
|
|
|
It makes me happy that the guy in blackface didn’t win.
|
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2020 06:56
|
|
|
 Way to go BettyThanks for all the hard work projecthalaxy
|
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2020 07:07
|
|
|
Well done!
|
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2020 07:33
|
|
|
Thank Christ the Crock lost. Yay for Evil Genes Betty! Wait... hang on, I've never watched Riverdale, is it seriously a plotpoint that she has serial killer genes? 
|
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2020 07:39
|
|
|
Yes, and she inherited them from her mother, not her father, who is an actual serial killer.
|
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2020 07:45
|
|
|
I... that just raises further questions!
|
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2020 07:48
|
|
|
Riverdale is loving nuts. Archie fought a bear.
|
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2020 07:54
|
|
|
If you tell me it was Mr. Weatherbee I'm gonna lose my poo poo.
|
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2020 07:58
|
|
|
The crock, whom I (luckily?) have no clue as european who that is, killed 9 contestants but Geneseed Betty killed what was necessary and won. Hopefully not an allegory of your upcoming elections.
|
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2020 13:08
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 9, 2024 14:07 |
|
|
Who's got two thumbs and sponsored two wins? This guy!Jerusalem posted:Thank Christ the Crock lost. Yay for Evil Genes Betty!
|
|
#
?
Oct 30, 2020 14:17
|
|
