Post the worst pizza ever in this thread: No Gods, No Mestres

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bagual: Oct 29, 2010; _{_{inconspicuous}}

steinrokkan posted:

Are there Brazilian places that make normal pizza without choclate and catupiry and weird stuffed tumor crust, and how quickly do they go bankrupt?

If I go to Brazil and ask for margherita, what are the odds the chef will think I'm insane and top it with ice cream and candy bars because nobody could want just plain pizza?

normal flavors are mostly normal, you'll never go wrong with mozzarella except for cheaper places skimping out on cheese

i don't post the good stuff here because it's the worst pizza thread not the best

Porfiriato posted:

Is....is there actually a hot dog in the Kit Kat hot dog? I'm not sure I'm ready to handle the answer to this question.

Ziv Zulander posted:

It's a cheese that tastes like a salty, lightly sweet caramel. Goes well with a tart apple.

I'm sure I’m spoiled, but around here you can buy it at the normal grocery store

huh, seems nice, i'd try it

SniperWoreConverse posted:

what is in the sushi

is there a fish in there

probably nutella and rice, every fast food has to have a nutella version, it is known

anyway back to instadiabetes pizza

# ? Nov 17, 2020 20:25

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# ? Jun 3, 2024 16:27

Harold Stassen: Jan 24, 2016

I'd give gjetost a whirl if it wasn't $17 for a brick that I probably won't be able to finish

Seems like it'd make for a terrible pizza cheese in any circumstance, but so does catupiry so who knows

# ? Nov 17, 2020 20:36

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

gjetost, caramelized onions, bacon, beets?

hard to think of something that would work

# ? Nov 17, 2020 23:09

Pyrotoad: Oct 24, 2010; Illegal Hen

That squeezy catupiry kind of looks like primula cheese. It's okay on sufficiently burned toast, if you don't have cream cheese or butter. It had a complete recall back in June, at least in the UK, because a bottle got contaminated with botulism.

Grows a nasty skin under direct heat though :gonk:

# ? Nov 18, 2020 00:26

Harold Stassen: Jan 24, 2016

Mozi posted:

gjetost, caramelized onions, bacon, beets?

hard to think of something that would work

That apple dessert pizza from the Pizza Hut buffet

Pyrotoad posted:

Grows a nasty skin under direct heat though

It knows you're afraid

# ? Nov 18, 2020 00:35

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Gjetost sucks and there is no pizza application it'd work with.

Also $17 a brick, holy poo poo...I live in the Midwest rear end end of nowhere and it's less than half that

# ? Nov 18, 2020 00:36

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

I've googled gjetos and from the looks and decription of it, it seems like something you'd eat if you thought American was too fancy

# ? Nov 18, 2020 00:43

shadow puppet of a: Jan 10, 2007; NO TENGO SCORPIO

Why does every drat thread on these forums have to breakdown into re-litigating Gjetost?

# ? Nov 18, 2020 01:58

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

cheese gje so what

# ? Nov 18, 2020 02:15

BAGS FLY AT NOON: Apr 6, 2011; A Soft Nylon Bag

I grew up in the corner of Connecticut, Rhode Island, and Massachusetts, and there pizza is pronounced �pizzer� and that alone makes it bad pizza.

# ? Nov 18, 2020 02:22

HELLOMYNAMEIS___: Dec 30, 2007

Again from the AFP thread:

Cheese Thief posted:

$27 for this 'Lasgna pizza' delivered. I was trying to get something special as I never order out, but I am left very underwhelmed.

# ? Nov 18, 2020 03:31

Poohs Packin: Jan 13, 2019

shadow puppet of a posted:

Why does every drat thread on these forums have to breakdown into re-litigating Gjetost?

Its unique, a little odd, and fine. But are we not goons?

# ? Nov 18, 2020 07:38

davidspackage: May 16, 2007; Nap Ghost

^^ looks like it's trying to escape

# ? Nov 18, 2020 07:39

Philippe: Aug 9, 2013; (she/her)

The_Continental posted:

Its unique, a little odd, and fine. But are we not goons?

WE ARE DEVO

# ? Nov 18, 2020 08:32

Ziv Zulander: Mar 24, 2017; ZZ for short

steinrokkan posted:

I've googled gjetos and from the looks and decription of it, it seems like something you'd eat if you thought American was too fancy

No? It�s good stuff. It�s very different from other cheeses, you don�t really use it in sandwiches or anything

# ? Nov 18, 2020 08:48

crazy eyes mustafa: Nov 30, 2014

im gje(tost)

# ? Nov 19, 2020 02:12

Lodin: Jul 31, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Geitost/brunost has exactly two uses in Norway. You either put it on sliced bread or in a waffle. In some rare cases you can use it to sweeten a sauce.
Any person who uses it for anything else, let alone a pizza is a hipster shithead. It's not fancy or exotic, it's one of the most bog standard everyday parts of our diet. It's the bologna of cheese.

Lodin fucked around with this message at 09:35 on Nov 19, 2020

# ? Nov 19, 2020 09:33

Scrotum Modem: Sep 12, 2014

Lodin posted:

Looks like some puzzle from a room escape game. "Escape the Terrible Pizza Place"

# ? Nov 19, 2020 14:25

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

I don't know what this is. It's probably good?

And my new favorite:

# ? Nov 19, 2020 14:34

crazy eyes mustafa: Nov 30, 2014

Mmmm corn, peas, and small pastries

# ? Nov 19, 2020 15:43

Hasturtium: May 19, 2020; And that year, for his birthday, he got six pink ping pong balls in a little pink backpack.

TheAardvark posted:

I don't know what this is. It's probably good?

And my new favorite:

In order:
* A Hawaiian pizza with a sprinkling of corn and bad lighting. Looks a little wet too, but again, lighting.
* Other than hellfarts the biggest problem is the artlessness of the presentation. Dice those eggs and artichokes, spread them evenly, and it's got (rear end-wrecking) potential.
* Soft liquid cheese and crunchy pastry is a good combo, I'd probably give that a shot.
* Corn wibbles, shrimp, and veggies? Deal me in.

# ? Nov 19, 2020 15:50

Take the plunge! Okay!: Feb 24, 2007

Hasturtium posted:

* Other than hellfarts the biggest problem is the artlessness of the presentation. Dice those eggs and artichokes, spread them evenly, and it's got (rear end-wrecking) potential.

You're overthinking it, someone had a nice Nicoise Salad and was sick on a pizza, nothing less, nothing more

# ? Nov 19, 2020 15:53

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

Is corn wibbles a scientific term? :thunkin:

# ? Nov 19, 2020 15:54

tetsuo: May 12, 2001; I am a shaman, magician

Scrotum Modem posted:

Looks like some puzzle from a room escape game. "Escape the Terrible Pizza Place"

it's could actually be an easter egg puzzle in The Witness tbh.

# ? Nov 19, 2020 15:56

Poohs Packin: Jan 13, 2019

Lodin posted:

Geitost/brunost has exactly two uses in Norway. You either put it on sliced bread or in a waffle. In some rare cases you can use it to sweeten a sauce.
Any person who uses it for anything else, let alone a pizza is a hipster shithead. It's not fancy or exotic, it's one of the most bog standard everyday parts of our diet. It's the bologna of cheese.

While I appreciate your input as a Norwegian. The idea that this insanely rich, yet weirdly salty-sweet, roof-of-the-mouth-coating substance could be considered normal is a testament to the absurdity of nordic cuisine generally. The poo poo is fuckin' weird and so are you. Most people outside of the upper latitudes have NO idea what it is, and are understandably confused.

That being said. I've made some really nice desserts with it, specifically a sauternes/gjetost sort of brulee with green apples and some crumbly bits.

# ? Nov 19, 2020 16:13