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(Thread IKs: Josherino)
 
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indigi
Jul 20, 2004

how can we not talk about family
when family's all that we got?

mawarannahr posted:

there is nothing promising ahead and its too late to rise up. revolution is a mirage.

lots of Russian workers probably felt this way in 1916. no one can anticipate inevitable waves of change

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Tarnop
Nov 25, 2013

Pull me out

I don't get the spite thing. Me being alive is a huge source of pain to me. No one I hate suffers as a result of me being alive so how am I spiting them exactly?

indigi
Jul 20, 2004

how can we not talk about family
when family's all that we got?

Tarnop posted:

I don't get the spite thing. Me being alive is a huge source of pain to me. No one I hate suffers as a result of me being alive so how am I spiting them exactly?

this is also my problem with the spite thing

Lib and let die
Aug 26, 2004

Personally I've always been pigheaded and stubborn. The spitefuel might simply be the logical evolution.

Raine
Apr 30, 2013

ACCELERATIONIST SUPERDOOMER



Tarnop posted:

I don't get the spite thing. Me being alive is a huge source of pain to me. No one I hate suffers as a result of me being alive so how am I spiting them exactly?

no one you hate suffers yet

endlessmonotony
Nov 4, 2009

by Fritz the Horse

Raine posted:

no one you hate suffers yet

They suffer when I get medical care and don't pay for it.

They suffer worse when I show up to their dumb public speeches and declare I have human rights even when I can't make them money.

They start screaming when I manage to ally with other people like me and get people calling them assholes in large groups in visible public discourse.

"You're a worthless dickhead and you didn't earn any of the money you have" on a sign, outside the office of someone who gets real angry hearing that is the nectar of life.

StashAugustine
Mar 24, 2013

Do not trust in hope- it will betray you! Only faith and hatred sustain.

I have a month left of college until I graduate and I have absolutely no motivation for anything

Pitcher Witcher
Jan 13, 2020

It's living out of spite when others want you and others like you in general (lgbtq+, leftist, poor, black, jewish, muslim and so on.) dead, non-existent or quiet. Works well for me as I think the Nazis win if I cease to exist.

I also find spite very useful in creative endeavors.

Tarnop
Nov 25, 2013

Pull me out

I guarantee you that not one Nazi knows that I exist, therefore my continued existence does not spite any Nazis.

Baykin
Feb 11, 2008

indigi posted:

do you ever wish your parents were dead so you wouldnt feel guilty about killing yourself

I'm currently simply waiting for my in-very-poor health mother to pass on before I go through with it, just so that I won't be the reason she gives up. I haven't really even thought of myself as being alive for the last 2 years since I came to the decision about everything.

mawarannahr
May 21, 2019

the spite works most of the time but its the grief and fear thats outgrowing it now :/

Shifty Nipples
Apr 8, 2007

endlessmonotony posted:

I'm honestly doing just about as well as I was doing before the pandemic.

Except now I feel much more free to express the way I feel.

endlessmonotony posted:

The way I feel is generally surly, except when someone starts going on about pseudoscience bullshit about health or about how the world is a just place where everything happens for a reason or about how it'll all work out without any real effort because they want to be comfortable and not feel bad about it.

At which case it's various degrees of creative about extremely loudly telling them to shut their mouth.

I agree with both those posts, wonder if that is a common perspective among people with disabilities.

T-man posted:

giving up means the bastards won

if hope isn't an option, stay for spite

:yeah:

endlessmonotony
Nov 4, 2009

by Fritz the Horse

Shifty Nipples posted:

I agree with both those posts, wonder if that is a common perspective among people with disabilities.

There's only so many times you can hear "it'll get better" or "you can't give up hope" or "you'll get over this" or "it can't be that bad" or "god works in mysterious ways" before you go stark raving mad.

It has been so long and it hasn't gotten better.

I'm still disabled, still poor, still hurting, still utterly aware that I drive people away with being negative but trying to pretend I'm not suffering also doesn't work.

Anything you could possibly tell me, I've heard before. None of it helps. None of your lovely helpful advice or lovely toxic positivity is worth anything, because it wasn't the last time.

Shifty Nipples
Apr 8, 2007

endlessmonotony posted:

There's only so many times you can hear "it'll get better" or "you can't give up hope" or "you'll get over this" or "it can't be that bad" or "god works in mysterious ways" before you go stark raving mad.

It has been so long and it hasn't gotten better.

I'm still disabled, still poor, still hurting, still utterly aware that I drive people away with being negative but trying to pretend I'm not suffering also doesn't work.

Anything you could possibly tell me, I've heard before. None of it helps. None of your lovely helpful advice or lovely toxic positivity is worth anything, because it wasn't the last time.

Yeah, feel all of that too. Absolutely stuck and it is garbage. Oh poo poo and the people who told me "wait until you get older" when I was a teenager.

fermun
Nov 4, 2009
things are bad in the brain right now for me. I've got a chronic condition (anal stenosis) which causes extreme pain and it's prevented me from working for about a week and a half now. i don't like reality and decided who cares if i cant work, i could just use what little savings i have and just eat ramen for a week or two so i tried to get hosed up but i got robbed at gunpoint for loving $80 when i tried to buy some shrooms and I wasn't even scared it was just like, gently caress, this is loving typical. sitting hurts, standing hurts, i just wanna lay in bed, listen to some music, and be hosed up then sleep. gently caress.i'm on 80mg/day of fluoxetine which used to really help but since my chronic condition put me in pain about 3 weeks ago and got so bad that i haven't been able to function normally this past week and a half, i've just not been able to function despite brain meds and the strongest prescription of lidocaine available. i work nights so i haven't even been able to join my weekly friends zoom chat for 5 months, i'm just real frustrated with conditions.

uber_stoat
Jan 21, 2001



Pillbug

Shifty Nipples posted:

Yeah, feel all of that too. Absolutely stuck and it is garbage. Oh poo poo and the people who told me "wait until you get older" when I was a teenager.

you know that thing... where they say if you could go back in time and tell your teenage self something, what would it be?

"sorry, kid, when they tell it will get better, they're lying. good luck!"

shyduck
Oct 3, 2003


Hi. I just started seeing a therapist through BetterHelp and it's been good. I haven't been to therapy in a few years and I'm glad to be back to it. You don't have to go it alone.

limp dick calvin
Sep 1, 2006

Strepitoso. Vedete? Una meraviglia.
after waiting months I finally established a new primary care doc and they are adjusting my meds. here's to them working

the doc seemed pretty cool. they said they won't ever care about weed unless I get prescribed opiates

Shifty Nipples
Apr 8, 2007

uber_stoat posted:

you know that thing... where they say if you could go back in time and tell your teenage self something, what would it be?

"sorry, kid, when they tell it will get better, they're lying. good luck!"

"you are right".

Lib and let die
Aug 26, 2004

"things are gonna suck, you're gonna have some pretty lovely injuries, you're going to be fairly poor, but your wife is gonna have a killer set of aftermarket tits, so just keep that in mind, kid."

Tarnop
Nov 25, 2013

Pull me out

shyduck posted:

Hi. I just started seeing a therapist through BetterHelp and it's been good. I haven't been to therapy in a few years and I'm glad to be back to it. You don't have to go it alone.

Does it cost money

Lib and let die
Aug 26, 2004

I don't know why I keep hurting myself by going on linkedin.

Sometimes I'm feeling extra spiteful and will apply at a company like KnowBe4 or Crossover where they use those asinine cognitive aptitude tests to tell you you're not good enough to touch spreadsheets at this company because you don't understand stupid tests about which shape doesn't belong or whatever stupid nonsense some HR gently caress came up with to justify their existence.

gently caress I'm worthless

breadnsucc
Jun 1, 2020

by Fluffdaddy

quote:

Perhaps it is unusual for so many words to be written, political theory instead of a memorial narrative, for a message honoring a martyr of the revolution. I kept comrade Michael Forest Reinoehl firmly in my mind with every word I wrote down in this text. This text is not an act of revenge. I still havent paid a penny of my debt. I have only determined it. Our revenge will go all the way.

Honor and revenge for the antifascist martyr Michael Forest Reinoehl

Honor and revenge for antifascist martyr Anthony Huber

Honor and revenge for all the martyrs of the Black Revolt

Honor and revenge for antifascist martyr Willem Van Sporsen

Im not standing by. I really shouldnt have to say any more than this. I set aside my broken heart and I heal the only way I know howby being useful.

REVENGE for centuries of slavery, for all the generations that didnt make it to liberation. REVENGE so that the life that is coming can breath

breadnsucc has issued a correction as of 19:45 on Aug 21, 2021

StashAugustine
Mar 24, 2013

Do not trust in hope- it will betray you! Only faith and hatred sustain.

Marx Was A Lib posted:

I don't know why I keep hurting myself by going on linkedin.

Sometimes I'm feeling extra spiteful and will apply at a company like KnowBe4 or Crossover where they use those asinine cognitive aptitude tests to tell you you're not good enough to touch spreadsheets at this company because you don't understand stupid tests about which shape doesn't belong or whatever stupid nonsense some HR gently caress came up with to justify their existence.

gently caress I'm worthless

I too suffer from deep feelings of inadequacy because in having trouble finding a job but please don't beat yourself up over failing a phrenology test

endlessmonotony
Nov 4, 2009

by Fritz the Horse

Marx Was A Lib posted:

I don't know why I keep hurting myself by going on linkedin.

Sometimes I'm feeling extra spiteful and will apply at a company like KnowBe4 or Crossover where they use those asinine cognitive aptitude tests to tell you you're not good enough to touch spreadsheets at this company because you don't understand stupid tests about which shape doesn't belong or whatever stupid nonsense some HR gently caress came up with to justify their existence.

gently caress I'm worthless

The only thing those tests will tell you is how good the applicant is at doing utterly pointless tasks and lying to the people employing them about what they think.

Unfortunately for all of us, those are core office work skills.

Chard
Aug 24, 2010




i just want to go back to school where all i had to do was learn poo poo and expand my mind as much as possible. cutting that off at the neck as soon as we reach Productive For Capital is one of the few things i reserve the label 'sin' for

MOVIE MAJICK
Jan 4, 2012

by Pragmatica

breadnsucc posted:

lmao wife just told me i have until the end of next week to move out

im a stay at home dad i have almost no income so i have to find full-time employment and a place to live in less than two weeks lmao

2020 folks

fml

What happened?

Lib and let die
Aug 26, 2004

why does my mom always know when i'm breaking down and text me?

she's thousands of miles away, but i can guarantee a text comes from her when i'm at my worst.

"Hi MWAL. How are you?"

Mom...I don't have the heart to answer that question honestly. 35 years old and I'm still afraid to disappoint my parents because of my hosed up broken brain.

breadnsucc
Jun 1, 2020

by Fluffdaddy

quote:

Perhaps it is unusual for so many words to be written, political theory instead of a memorial narrative, for a message honoring a martyr of the revolution. I kept comrade Michael Forest Reinoehl firmly in my mind with every word I wrote down in this text. This text is not an act of revenge. I still havent paid a penny of my debt. I have only determined it. Our revenge will go all the way.

Honor and revenge for the antifascist martyr Michael Forest Reinoehl

Honor and revenge for antifascist martyr Anthony Huber

Honor and revenge for all the martyrs of the Black Revolt

Honor and revenge for antifascist martyr Willem Van Sporsen

Im not standing by. I really shouldnt have to say any more than this. I set aside my broken heart and I heal the only way I know howby being useful.

REVENGE for centuries of slavery, for all the generations that didnt make it to liberation. REVENGE so that the life that is coming can breath

breadnsucc has issued a correction as of 19:45 on Aug 21, 2021

Jollity Farm
Apr 23, 2010

People are all talking about how foolish it would be to want to visit anyone at Christmas, and I know they're right, but I'm really lonely and depressed. I've been spending all day in bed these past couple of weeks. I don't go out to pubs or have parties anyway, but I live on my own and I want something to look forward to.

thehandtruck
Mar 5, 2006

the thing about the jews is,

Jollity Farm posted:

People are all talking about how foolish it would be to want to visit anyone at Christmas, and I know they're right, but I'm really lonely and depressed. I've been spending all day in bed these past couple of weeks. I don't go out to pubs or have parties anyway, but I live on my own and I want something to look forward to.

The powers that be are forcing us to make impossible decisions that have multiple downsides. I don't want to tell you what to do but if you're being as careful as possible, I wouldn't fault you morally for visiting people safely on Christmas.

skooma512
Feb 8, 2012

You couldn't grok my race car, but you dug the roadside blur.
I'm going to my GF's house and her brother and his wife are coming. My mom is kind of mad because she's old, I can't say I blame her. I haven't bothered to defend it because I honestly can't, I know better than this.


However, I also work at one of the biggest hospitals in the city and frankly this is an improvement over a normal Thursday. These two are also pretty low risk, one is in healthcare too and the other 100% WFH, with a pregnant sister that she will not wish to endanger.

Besides, she voted for Trump, although in her case it was "not-Hillary". I can be a chud for a day too! It's opposite day! I make reckless choices and you demand I stop, but I'll do it anyway. IT'S MUH FREEDOM

bobtheconqueror
May 10, 2005

Marx Was A Lib posted:

why does my mom always know when i'm breaking down and text me?

she's thousands of miles away, but i can guarantee a text comes from her when i'm at my worst.

"Hi MWAL. How are you?"

Mom...I don't have the heart to answer that question honestly. 35 years old and I'm still afraid to disappoint my parents because of my hosed up broken brain.

I know that feel friendo. My brain is partially perma-hosed cause I had a really lovely relationship with my really lovely dad when I was a kid, then as I got older kinda realized in context he's just had a super hosed life himself, so tried to make amends. Kiinda did in the sense we weren't at each other's throats whenever we talked, but he kicked it before I really had a chance to like apologize or reconcile.

On the bright side, I can basically tear up on demand now!

UnfortunateSexFart
May 18, 2008

𒃻 𒌓𒁉𒋫 𒆷𒁀𒅅𒆷
𒆠𒂖 𒌉 𒌫 𒁮𒈠𒈾𒅗 𒂉 𒉡𒌒𒂉𒊑


thehandtruck posted:

The powers that be are forcing us to make impossible decisions that have multiple downsides. I don't want to tell you what to do but if you're being as careful as possible, I wouldn't fault you morally for visiting people safely on Christmas.

There's no way to visit people safely in North America or Europe right now.

No. 6
Jun 30, 2002

Happy Thanksgiving fellow broke brains

indigi
Jul 20, 2004

how can we not talk about family
when family's all that we got?

skooma512 posted:

However, I also work at one of the biggest hospitals in the city and frankly this is an improvement over a normal Thursday. These two are also pretty low risk, one is in healthcare too and the other 100% WFH, with a pregnant sister that she will not wish to endanger.

lol

Lib and let die
Aug 26, 2004

No. 6 posted:

Happy Thanksgiving fellow broke brains

Here's to us, here's to love
All the times, that we messed up
Here's to you, fill the glass
'Cause the last few months have kicked my rear end
If they give ya hell
Tell em to go gently caress themselves

Zil
Jun 4, 2011

Satanically Summoned Citrus


No. 6 posted:

Happy Thanksgiving fellow broke brains

Mundrial Mantis
Aug 15, 2017


Had Thanksgiving with just my parents and brother, and all four of us wear masks in public and avoid large gatherings. My brother is putting in his notice for a gig retail job he started a few weeks ago since barely anyone in the store, customer or employee, wears masks or is taking COVID seriously while cases in the area rise. He wears a mask and social distances at home and reads the news on COVID. My parents are doing the 'blah blah no work ethic he lives at home' and not even talking about working retail on Black Friday in a pandemic and even the job market being poo poo before that.

I live by myself and WFH and am thinking of offering him to stay at my place for a weekend if he wants to and is clear of possible infection. It loving sucks because he has a degree to be a computer toucher but the job hunt and now the pandemic have just drained him. Any article I read about how poo poo things are for millennials and zoomers or about Japan's lost generation makes me go "yup that sounds familiar :smith: "

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No. 6
Jun 30, 2002

I ate a bowl of cream of wheat and sat at home.

Not doing wonders for my mental health.

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