(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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mawarannahr posted:there is nothing promising ahead and its too late to rise up. revolution is a mirage. lots of Russian workers probably felt this way in 1916. no one can anticipate inevitable waves of change
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Nov 20, 2020 15:23
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| # ? May 25, 2024 16:19 |
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I don't get the spite thing. Me being alive is a huge source of pain to me. No one I hate suffers as a result of me being alive so how am I spiting them exactly?
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Nov 20, 2020 16:01
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Tarnop posted:I don't get the spite thing. Me being alive is a huge source of pain to me. No one I hate suffers as a result of me being alive so how am I spiting them exactly? this is also my problem with the spite thing
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Nov 20, 2020 16:23
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Personally I've always been pigheaded and stubborn. The spitefuel might simply be the logical evolution.
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Nov 20, 2020 16:32
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Tarnop posted:I don't get the spite thing. Me being alive is a huge source of pain to me. No one I hate suffers as a result of me being alive so how am I spiting them exactly? no one you hate suffers yet
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Nov 20, 2020 17:47
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Raine posted:no one you hate suffers yet They suffer when I get medical care and don't pay for it. They suffer worse when I show up to their dumb public speeches and declare I have human rights even when I can't make them money. They start screaming when I manage to ally with other people like me and get people calling them assholes in large groups in visible public discourse. "You're a worthless dickhead and you didn't earn any of the money you have" on a sign, outside the office of someone who gets real angry hearing that is the nectar of life.
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Nov 20, 2020 18:00
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I have a month left of college until I graduate and I have absolutely no motivation for anything
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Nov 20, 2020 20:36
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It's living out of spite when others want you and others like you in general (lgbtq+, leftist, poor, black, jewish, muslim and so on.) dead, non-existent or quiet. Works well for me as I think the Nazis win if I cease to exist. I also find spite very useful in creative endeavors.
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Nov 20, 2020 20:59
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I guarantee you that not one Nazi knows that I exist, therefore my continued existence does not spite any Nazis.
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Nov 20, 2020 21:05
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indigi posted:do you ever wish your parents were dead so you wouldnt feel guilty about killing yourself I'm currently simply waiting for my in-very-poor health mother to pass on before I go through with it, just so that I won't be the reason she gives up. I haven't really even thought of myself as being alive for the last 2 years since I came to the decision about everything.
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Nov 20, 2020 21:54
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the spite works most of the time but its the grief and fear thats outgrowing it now :/
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Nov 20, 2020 22:17
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endlessmonotony posted:I'm honestly doing just about as well as I was doing before the pandemic. endlessmonotony posted:The way I feel is generally surly, except when someone starts going on about pseudoscience bullshit about health or about how the world is a just place where everything happens for a reason or about how it'll all work out without any real effort because they want to be comfortable and not feel bad about it. I agree with both those posts, wonder if that is a common perspective among people with disabilities. T-man posted:giving up means the bastards won 
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Nov 20, 2020 22:27
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Shifty Nipples posted:I agree with both those posts, wonder if that is a common perspective among people with disabilities. There's only so many times you can hear "it'll get better" or "you can't give up hope" or "you'll get over this" or "it can't be that bad" or "god works in mysterious ways" before you go stark raving mad. It has been so long and it hasn't gotten better. I'm still disabled, still poor, still hurting, still utterly aware that I drive people away with being negative but trying to pretend I'm not suffering also doesn't work. Anything you could possibly tell me, I've heard before. None of it helps. None of your lovely helpful advice or lovely toxic positivity is worth anything, because it wasn't the last time.
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Nov 21, 2020 00:07
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endlessmonotony posted:There's only so many times you can hear "it'll get better" or "you can't give up hope" or "you'll get over this" or "it can't be that bad" or "god works in mysterious ways" before you go stark raving mad. Yeah, feel all of that too. Absolutely stuck and it is garbage. Oh poo poo and the people who told me "wait until you get older" when I was a teenager.
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Nov 21, 2020 06:08
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things are bad in the brain right now for me. I've got a chronic condition (anal stenosis) which causes extreme pain and it's prevented me from working for about a week and a half now. i don't like reality and decided who cares if i cant work, i could just use what little savings i have and just eat ramen for a week or two so i tried to get hosed up but i got robbed at gunpoint for loving $80 when i tried to buy some shrooms and I wasn't even scared it was just like, gently caress, this is loving typical. sitting hurts, standing hurts, i just wanna lay in bed, listen to some music, and be hosed up then sleep. gently caress.i'm on 80mg/day of fluoxetine which used to really help but since my chronic condition put me in pain about 3 weeks ago and got so bad that i haven't been able to function normally this past week and a half, i've just not been able to function despite brain meds and the strongest prescription of lidocaine available. i work nights so i haven't even been able to join my weekly friends zoom chat for 5 months, i'm just real frustrated with conditions.
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Nov 21, 2020 17:07
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Shifty Nipples posted:Yeah, feel all of that too. Absolutely stuck and it is garbage. Oh poo poo and the people who told me "wait until you get older" when I was a teenager. you know that thing... where they say if you could go back in time and tell your teenage self something, what would it be? "sorry, kid, when they tell it will get better, they're lying. good luck!"
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Nov 21, 2020 17:58
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Hi. I just started seeing a therapist through BetterHelp and it's been good. I haven't been to therapy in a few years and I'm glad to be back to it. You don't have to go it alone.
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Nov 23, 2020 18:54
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after waiting months I finally established a new primary care doc and they are adjusting my meds. here's to them working the doc seemed pretty cool. they said they won't ever care about weed unless I get prescribed opiates
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Nov 23, 2020 23:05
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uber_stoat posted:you know that thing... where they say if you could go back in time and tell your teenage self something, what would it be? "you are right".
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Nov 24, 2020 00:55
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"things are gonna suck, you're gonna have some pretty lovely injuries, you're going to be fairly poor, but your wife is gonna have a killer set of aftermarket tits, so just keep that in mind, kid."
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Nov 24, 2020 01:01
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shyduck posted:Hi. I just started seeing a therapist through BetterHelp and it's been good. I haven't been to therapy in a few years and I'm glad to be back to it. You don't have to go it alone. Does it cost money
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Nov 24, 2020 02:21
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I don't know why I keep hurting myself by going on linkedin. Sometimes I'm feeling extra spiteful and will apply at a company like KnowBe4 or Crossover where they use those asinine cognitive aptitude tests to tell you you're not good enough to touch spreadsheets at this company because you don't understand stupid tests about which shape doesn't belong or whatever stupid nonsense some HR gently caress came up with to justify their existence. gently caress I'm worthless
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Nov 25, 2020 05:23
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quote:Perhaps it is unusual for so many words to be written, political theory instead of a memorial narrative, for a message honoring a martyr of the revolution. I kept comrade Michael Forest Reinoehl firmly in my mind with every word I wrote down in this text. This text is not an act of revenge. I still havent paid a penny of my debt. I have only determined it. Our revenge will go all the way. breadnsucc has issued a correction as of 19:45 on Aug 21, 2021 |
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Nov 25, 2020 05:34
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Marx Was A Lib posted:I don't know why I keep hurting myself by going on linkedin. I too suffer from deep feelings of inadequacy because in having trouble finding a job but please don't beat yourself up over failing a phrenology test
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Nov 25, 2020 06:02
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Marx Was A Lib posted:I don't know why I keep hurting myself by going on linkedin. The only thing those tests will tell you is how good the applicant is at doing utterly pointless tasks and lying to the people employing them about what they think. Unfortunately for all of us, those are core office work skills.
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Nov 25, 2020 07:20
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i just want to go back to school where all i had to do was learn poo poo and expand my mind as much as possible. cutting that off at the neck as soon as we reach Productive For Capital is one of the few things i reserve the label 'sin' for
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Nov 25, 2020 07:35
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breadnsucc posted:lmao wife just told me i have until the end of next week to move out What happened?
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Nov 25, 2020 13:11
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why does my mom always know when i'm breaking down and text me? she's thousands of miles away, but i can guarantee a text comes from her when i'm at my worst. "Hi MWAL. How are you?" Mom...I don't have the heart to answer that question honestly. 35 years old and I'm still afraid to disappoint my parents because of my hosed up broken brain.
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Nov 25, 2020 15:10
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quote:Perhaps it is unusual for so many words to be written, political theory instead of a memorial narrative, for a message honoring a martyr of the revolution. I kept comrade Michael Forest Reinoehl firmly in my mind with every word I wrote down in this text. This text is not an act of revenge. I still havent paid a penny of my debt. I have only determined it. Our revenge will go all the way. breadnsucc has issued a correction as of 19:45 on Aug 21, 2021 |
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Nov 25, 2020 18:52
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People are all talking about how foolish it would be to want to visit anyone at Christmas, and I know they're right, but I'm really lonely and depressed. I've been spending all day in bed these past couple of weeks. I don't go out to pubs or have parties anyway, but I live on my own and I want something to look forward to.
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Nov 25, 2020 21:37
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Jollity Farm posted:People are all talking about how foolish it would be to want to visit anyone at Christmas, and I know they're right, but I'm really lonely and depressed. I've been spending all day in bed these past couple of weeks. I don't go out to pubs or have parties anyway, but I live on my own and I want something to look forward to. The powers that be are forcing us to make impossible decisions that have multiple downsides. I don't want to tell you what to do but if you're being as careful as possible, I wouldn't fault you morally for visiting people safely on Christmas.
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Nov 26, 2020 06:19
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I'm going to my GF's house and her brother and his wife are coming. My mom is kind of mad because she's old, I can't say I blame her. I haven't bothered to defend it because I honestly can't, I know better than this. However, I also work at one of the biggest hospitals in the city and frankly this is an improvement over a normal Thursday. These two are also pretty low risk, one is in healthcare too and the other 100% WFH, with a pregnant sister that she will not wish to endanger. Besides, she voted for Trump, although in her case it was "not-Hillary". I can be a chud for a day too! It's opposite day! I make reckless choices and you demand I stop, but I'll do it anyway. IT'S MUH FREEDOM
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Nov 26, 2020 18:13
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Marx Was A Lib posted:why does my mom always know when i'm breaking down and text me? I know that feel friendo. My brain is partially perma-hosed cause I had a really lovely relationship with my really lovely dad when I was a kid, then as I got older kinda realized in context he's just had a super hosed life himself, so tried to make amends. Kiinda did in the sense we weren't at each other's throats whenever we talked, but he kicked it before I really had a chance to like apologize or reconcile. On the bright side, I can basically tear up on demand now!
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Nov 26, 2020 19:15
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thehandtruck posted:The powers that be are forcing us to make impossible decisions that have multiple downsides. I don't want to tell you what to do but if you're being as careful as possible, I wouldn't fault you morally for visiting people safely on Christmas. There's no way to visit people safely in North America or Europe right now.
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Nov 26, 2020 20:27
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Happy Thanksgiving fellow broke brains
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Nov 26, 2020 20:40
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skooma512 posted:However, I also work at one of the biggest hospitals in the city and frankly this is an improvement over a normal Thursday. These two are also pretty low risk, one is in healthcare too and the other 100% WFH, with a pregnant sister that she will not wish to endanger. lol
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Nov 26, 2020 21:03
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No. 6 posted:Happy Thanksgiving fellow broke brains Here's to us, here's to love All the times, that we messed up Here's to you, fill the glass 'Cause the last few months have kicked my rear end If they give ya hell Tell em to go gently caress themselves
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Nov 26, 2020 21:26
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No. 6 posted:Happy Thanksgiving fellow broke brains
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Nov 27, 2020 01:10
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Had Thanksgiving with just my parents and brother, and all four of us wear masks in public and avoid large gatherings. My brother is putting in his notice for a gig retail job he started a few weeks ago since barely anyone in the store, customer or employee, wears masks or is taking COVID seriously while cases in the area rise. He wears a mask and social distances at home and reads the news on COVID. My parents are doing the 'blah blah no work ethic he lives at home' and not even talking about working retail on Black Friday in a pandemic and even the job market being poo poo before that. I live by myself and WFH and am thinking of offering him to stay at my place for a weekend if he wants to and is clear of possible infection. It loving sucks because he has a degree to be a computer toucher but the job hunt and now the pandemic have just drained him. Any article I read about how poo poo things are for millennials and zoomers or about Japan's lost generation makes me go "yup that sounds familiar  "
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Nov 27, 2020 16:58
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I ate a bowl of cream of wheat and sat at home. Not doing wonders for my mental health.
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Nov 28, 2020 00:46
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