GarfieldEats: I have returned to what I love; cereal boxes and coloring

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > GarfieldEats: I have returned to what I love; cereal boxes and coloring

«‹›392 »

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

What the gently caress, you touched the poop and something amazing happened

# ? Nov 26, 2020 20:01

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 24, 2024 02:05

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

Jack-Off Lantern posted:

What the gently caress, you touched the poop and something amazing happened

All I did was order a lasagna.

Apparently they liked my note too.
Mneowww indeed.

Edit: Oh re-reading this, that explains what the blocked call I got was right before Nathen called me. They had caller ID blocked so my call screening app silenced it.

Frank Frank fucked around with this message at 20:08 on Nov 26, 2020

# ? Nov 26, 2020 20:06

damn horror queefs: Oct 14, 2005; say hello
say hello to the man in the elevator

Frank Frank posted:

It's also worth noting that although the Garfsagna is listed as its own item on the store page, there is a permanent "ORDER ONLINE LASAGNA" button embedded at the top of the page no matter where you navigate on-site along with a button that ominously reads "DONATE SICKKIDS"

Just to clear this up - "Sick Kids" is a big pediatric hospital in downtown Toronto.

However, if Nathan is willing to let me donate a sick child directly to him then I would be entergaged as gently caress

# ? Nov 26, 2020 20:42

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

Showed this to the wife and she said she wants to quit her job and become a Happiness Manager.

# ? Nov 26, 2020 21:07

Detective Thompson: Nov 9, 2007; Sammy Davis Jr. Jr. is also in repose.

drat horror queefs posted:

Just to clear this up - "Sick Kids" is a big pediatric hospital in downtown Toronto.

However, if Nathan is willing to let me donate a sick child directly to him then I would be entergaged as gently caress

Well, where do you think he gets the "beef" for the lasagnas?

# ? Nov 26, 2020 21:10

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

Detective Thompson posted:

Well, where do you think he gets the "beef" for the lasagnas?

This is now canon

# ? Nov 26, 2020 21:15

Detective Thompson: Nov 9, 2007; Sammy Davis Jr. Jr. is also in repose.

Sick Kids might be a legit Toronto medical institution, but SICKKIDS is Nathen's devious Soylent Green-esque harvesting program.

# ? Nov 26, 2020 21:21

crazy eyes mustafa: Nov 30, 2014

In any food service establishment a Happiness Manager is just the guy who busts all the employees balls and is no fun to work with or be around. �If the business isn�t making as much money as I think it should then these assholes must be doing something to gently caress it up�

# ? Nov 26, 2020 21:54

Lt. Cock: May 28, 2005; INCOMING!

Lemme tell you something; if Papa Johns fucks up my order I don�t get a personal call from Papa John. Nathen though, he�s a different type of business man.

# ? Nov 26, 2020 22:04

Dr. Quarex: Apr 18, 2003; I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

TOVA TOVA TOVA

Mneowww!

# ? Nov 26, 2020 22:11

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

It�s also kinda weird that Nathen has employees right - let alone a happiness manager?

# ? Nov 26, 2020 22:18

Plant MONSTER.: Mar 16, 2018; I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

Every company has a happiness manager, though...?

# ? Nov 26, 2020 22:28

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

Plant MONSTER. posted:

Every company has a happiness manager, though...?

What

# ? Nov 26, 2020 22:29

Harold Stassen: Jan 24, 2016

I'm pretty sure that's just him, same with the weird Garfield Eats news blog posts, and the positive Google reviews. He's creating a whole world with its own complex storytelling and cast of characters, a Garfield Extended Universe if you will

# ? Nov 26, 2020 22:42

CodfishCartographer: Feb 23, 2010; Gadus Maprocephalus; Pillbug

Who's the Happiness Manager of Something Awful Dot Com LLC?

# ? Nov 26, 2020 22:54

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

CodfishCartographer posted:

Who's the Happiness Manager of Something Awful Dot Com LLC?

It�s me. Are you not entertaged?

# ? Nov 26, 2020 22:55

Feline Mind Meld: Jun 14, 2007; I'm pretty creeped out

drat I could use a happiness manager

# ? Nov 27, 2020 09:14

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Frank Frank posted:

It�s also kinda weird that Nathen has employees right - let alone a happiness manager?

It's probably some guy in India replying to emails with templates, if he exists at all.

# ? Nov 27, 2020 12:41

Jack-Off Lantern: Mar 2, 2012

steinrokkan posted:

It's probably some guy in India replying to emails with templates, if he exists at all.

Yeah, I bet it's just Nathen himself. I would imagine he is propping up a one man Lasagna scheme on his tiny shoulders and that's kinda inspiring.. But then again it's daddy's money and he is insane

# ? Nov 27, 2020 13:02

Plant MONSTER.: Mar 16, 2018; I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

Frank Frank posted:

What

Legally, you can't run a business without a happiness manager. Like, you can't even open an Etsy shop or have a yard sale or whatever without an appointed member from the National Department of Joy. I really wish you guys would learn the basics of business before attempting "digs" against Nathen and his company when he's actually doing it correctly.

# ? Nov 27, 2020 14:51

Haulin Oates: Nov 11, 2020; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Plant MONSTER. posted:

Legally, you can't run a business without a happiness manager. Like, you can't even open an Etsy shop or have a yard sale or whatever without an appointed member from the National Department of Joy. I really wish you guys would learn the basics of business before attempting "digs" against Nathen and his company when he's actually doing it correctly.

TIL something new about Canada.

Edit
I really wish I had heard of this place before the pandemic, I live like an hour from Toronto on the US side. I totally would've made a day trip to Canada and try this place as part of the package.

Haulin Oates fucked around with this message at 15:13 on Nov 27, 2020

# ? Nov 27, 2020 15:10

GolfHole: Feb 26, 2004

Haulin Oates posted:

TIL something new about Canada.

Edit
I really wish I had heard of this place before the pandemic, I live like an hour from Toronto on the US side. I totally would've made a day trip to Canada and try this place as part of the package.

why

# ? Nov 27, 2020 15:32

Killingyouguy!: Sep 8, 2014

GolfHole posted:

why

The evergreen answer: 'for the forums'

# ? Nov 27, 2020 15:41

Haulin Oates: Nov 11, 2020; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

GolfHole posted:

why

Because it was there. And Toronto is decent, it would've made for a nice excuse to just go up there and do stuff

# ? Nov 27, 2020 15:56

...of SCIENCE!: Apr 26, 2008; by Fluffdaddy

Nathen Mazri should get into the novelty pop-up restaurant business, if nothing else he has a gift for inspiring internet people to take pilgrimages and spend ludicrous amounts of money on lovely food just for the experience.

# ? Nov 27, 2020 16:25

Agent Escalus: Oct 5, 2002; "I couldn't stop saying aloud how miscast Jim Carrey was!"

Jack-Off Lantern posted:

Yeah, I bet it's just Nathen himself. I would imagine he is propping up a one man Lasagna scheme on his tiny shoulders and that's kinda inspiring.. But then again it's daddy's money and he is insane

You forgot to mention "and there's probably a money laundering scheme involved somewhere", you silly forgetful person!

# ? Nov 27, 2020 17:37

BigBadSteve: Apr 29, 2009

Frank Frank posted:

Sad news folks, I just got off the phone with Nathen who called me to let me know he cannot ship a lasagna to Maryland and that he has refunded my order. I almost didn’t pick up the phone due to the 514 area code, then realized that’s Montreal and immediately answered. He was apologetic, but has no plans to open a Garfield Eats in the US.

Oh well, you tried, well done.

Maybe it's time to start a GoFundMe for a small refrigerated truck to load up with garfsagnas and deliver them to reward select goon donators across the U.S. A $10,000 funding goal ought to cover it, and might be successful if enough U.S. goons skip Christmas.... or celebrate it only with the gift of a large cartoon cat branded lasagna.

Surely this project could be as successful in it's own way as Doobie's Doghouse. Maybe it would encourage Nathan to Garfranchise.

# ? Nov 27, 2020 18:25

Plant MONSTER.: Mar 16, 2018; I was watching simpsons at 0.75 without knowing until a scene where homer and bart were getting back massages at a hotel and the noises they were making were super drawn out like a youtube poop

under no circumstances is anyone supposed to set up a gofundme for/give money in any way outside of purchasing items he has listed in legal venues to Nathen Mazri.

Unless this Garfield truck remains in a US goon's hands. What I'm thinking is u order a garfsagna and some garfsangria and pick it up at the border and then deliver it from there. This driver should be paid 300 000 dollars a year for doing very important work.

# ? Nov 27, 2020 20:36

Frank Frank: Jun 13, 2001; Mirrored

I was willing to pay $42.00 for a garfsagna and a nathen-drawn Garfield cartoon alluding to Jon�s dog cum addiction, but that�s about the limit of what I�m willing to spend.

The silver lining here I guess is that I got to talk with Nathen briefly (wish I had been more prepared, I certainly did not expect him to call me) and I got that hilarious email without having to spend a dime.

# ? Nov 27, 2020 20:40

...of SCIENCE!: Apr 26, 2008; by Fluffdaddy

Frank Frank posted:

I was willing to pay $42.00 for a garfsagna and a nathen-drawn Garfield cartoon alluding to Jon�s dog cum addiction, but that�s about the limit of what I�m willing to spend.

The silver lining here I guess is that I got to talk with Nathen briefly (wish I had been more prepared, I certainly did not expect him to call me) and I got that hilarious email without having to spend a dime.

Yeah normally you have to pay 99 cents for him to even text you.

# ? Nov 27, 2020 20:42