|
Tarantula posted:I matched an alien on Tinder, need some good pick-up lines help! I'll take you to my leader... IN MY PANTS 
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 16:28
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 7, 2024 00:21 |
|
|
It's gonna turn out that these are un-manned probes or some poo poo that the aliens send out to any and everywhere in the galaxy/universe that they even think has a HINT of life or resources available and there's, literally, billions or trillions of these things flying around out there and they've been studying the planet for generations to determine how to best utilize it it should they ever need to or are just, essentially, cataloging poo poo for their ever expanding universal awareness and we're pissing them off by interfering with their drones
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 16:33
|
|
|
GolfHole posted:please do not post scientology in this thread, thakn you Come grab these cans and tell me a secret
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 16:49
|
|
|
Tarantula posted:I matched an alien on Tinder, need some good pick-up lines help! Nice UFO. Can you take me to Uranus?
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 17:09
|
|
|
Big Beef City posted:It's gonna turn out that these are un-manned probes or some poo poo that the aliens send out to any and everywhere in the galaxy/universe that they even think has a HINT of life or resources available and there's, literally, billions or trillions of these things flying around out there and they've been studying the planet for generations to determine how to best utilize it it should they ever need to or are just, essentially, cataloging poo poo for their ever expanding universal awareness and we're pissing them off by interfering with their drones that still doesn’t explain the thing with the buttholes
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 17:51
|
|
|
Colonel Cancer posted:Space dong an alien freak thing with an ovipositor and big ol' bazoombas hell yeah
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 18:09
|
|
|
naem posted:that still doesn’t explain the thing with the buttholes That's just for funsies
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 18:09
|
|
|
Alien with a fat rear end, I'm fuckin' it. Farts intoxicant gas?, I'm huffing it.
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 18:14
|
|
|
Late career Eminem really fell off
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 18:16
|
|
|
naem posted:that still doesn’t explain the thing with the buttholes The aliens need to have sex with an organism with a butt or they die, hence the drones need to test for this
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 18:44
|
|
|
What if aliens all look like big-titty goth girlfriends with big dicks, and they say hello by doing that kinky sex thing you're really into? Makes you think.
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 18:45
|
|
|
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 18:48
|
|
|
I want the aliens to have antlers, I think that would be cool.
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 19:45
|
|
|
Shouldn't it be "UFO are real"? Surely UFO is the both the singular and the plural since in the initialization both object and objects are represented by the O. A mod should fix that.
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 19:49
|
|
|
naem posted:that still doesn’t explain the thing with the buttholes *massaging your temples* It explains EVERYTHING about the buttholes.
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 19:50
|
|
|
Funky See Funky Do posted:Shouldn't it be "UFO are real"? Surely UFO is the both the singular and the plural since in the initialization both object and objects are represented by the O. I believe it's actually UFO'sies
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 20:16
|
|
|
Butternubs posted:I want the aliens to have antlers, I think that would be cool. Ok, you got it. Bad news, the antlers are genitals and they REALLY wanna gently caress.
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 21:09
|
|
|
The truth is out there. quote:Human slaves can never defy their alien masters -- or can they? What the jacket blurb fails to mention is that humans are the only sapient species that is always horny. All the rest, like many animals on earth, have a mating season. They are only occasionally horny, but then they are super horny -- cat in heat horny. Unfortunately interstellar travel messes with their rhythms, so even when there are a bunch of members of the same species on a space station, they all get horny at different times. Our one unique and valuable quality is that we are always down to gently caress.
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 21:27
|
|
|
What if there's space viagra but it's only produced on one inhospitable world and... Wait that's just dune
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 21:34
|
|
|
I would join a 'Galactic Federation Entry' cult.naem posted:that still doesn’t explain the thing with the buttholes Talk to gut flora via chemical signaling. Either that or they're sex-criminals.
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 21:40
|
|
|
Accretionist posted:I would join a 'Galactic Federation Entry' cult. Well, from an ontological viewpoint Humans come from the base branch of animals that evolved from the rear end outward (rather than from the mouth downward) so really they're just being thorough in starting analysis from the beginning, as it were.
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 21:44
|
|
|
Here's an interesting interview from a former Canadian defense minister. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFl29Uos9K8 [sounds like bs to me]
|
|
#
?
Dec 9, 2020 22:38
|
|
|
If there are any aliens reading this, I am willing to trade services in kind for meta materials or metrology, thank you
|
|
#
?
Dec 10, 2020 01:57
|
|
|
Olewithmilk posted:
They slipped up here. The aliens kidnapped Ofek 6 and now they're just pretending it doesn't exist. I'm onto their game.
|
|
#
?
Dec 10, 2020 03:31
|
|
|
Tarkus posted:Here's an interesting interview from a former Canadian defense minister. We have to push the "climate change" lever to plaid to force the hand of disclosure. Thanks old defense minister.
|
|
#
?
Dec 10, 2020 03:46
|
|
|
Big Beef City posted:*massaging your temples* I know my post may be white noise, but God drat, this made me laugh
|
|
#
?
Dec 10, 2020 06:25
|
|
|
lol ufos arent real gimme a fuckin break
|
|
#
?
Dec 10, 2020 06:29
|
|
|
But what if they are?
|
|
#
?
Dec 10, 2020 06:38
|
|
|
So it sounds like we're getting p.close to being let into the galactic federation, what do y'all think humans' racial bonus will turn out to have been?
|
|
#
?
Dec 10, 2020 07:49
|
|
|
Ratios and Tendency posted:So it sounds like we're getting p.close to being let into the galactic federation, what do y'all think humans' racial bonus will turn out to have been? Psychic immunity. Anything that manages to get inside our heads just immediately bails. "Ewww. Ew ew ew ew ew nope nu uh. gently caress that."
|
|
#
?
Dec 10, 2020 09:20
|
|
|
Aliens revealing themselves to the world would be a perfect ending to 2020. Funny thing is that nobody would really be surprised, it would just make sense to end the year this way.
|
|
#
?
Dec 10, 2020 09:44
|
|
|
Ratios and Tendency posted:So it sounds like we're getting p.close to being let into the galactic federation, what do y'all think humans' racial bonus will turn out to have been? We're tasty and low in calories.
|
|
#
?
Dec 10, 2020 13:22
|
|
|
Ratios and Tendency posted:So it sounds like we're getting p.close to being let into the galactic federation, what do y'all think humans' racial bonus will turn out to have been? Spacious anal caverns (+3 science 3+ culture +3 entertainment)
|
|
#
?
Dec 10, 2020 14:01
|
|
|
Ratios and Tendency posted:So it sounds like we're getting p.close to being let into the galactic federation, what do y'all think humans' racial bonus will turn out to have been? +1 to stealth, 15% chance of infravision
|
|
#
?
Dec 10, 2020 17:06
|
|
|
Captain Jesus posted:Aliens revealing themselves to the world would be a perfect ending to 2020. Funny thing is that nobody would really be surprised, it would just make sense to end the year this way. More like, 'Aliens show up, claim 2020 US Election is fraudulent!'
|
|
#
?
Dec 10, 2020 17:35
|
|
|
That thing on it's face is actually it's dick. Just walking around with it's dick out
|
|
#
?
Dec 10, 2020 18:34
|
|
|
DandyLion posted:More like, 'Aliens show up, claim 2020 US Election is fraudulent!' I will never stop laughing if aliens show up one day and they are not some 2001 enlightened beings ~the universe exploring itself~ hogwash but red neck capitalists looking to trade for hanjobs, expensive german cars and The Apprentice air rights. I just wish Carl Sagan would still be alive to witness it
|
|
#
?
Dec 10, 2020 18:40
|
|
|
GABA ghoul posted:I will never stop laughing if aliens show up one day and they are not some 2001 enlightened beings ~the universe exploring itself~ hogwash but red neck capitalists looking to trade for hanjobs, expensive german cars and The Apprentice air rights. I just wish Carl Sagan would still be alive to witness it Carl Sagan was really good at playing into the prevailing myths of his day and dropping vaguely-plausible sounding alien stuff that would then lead to funding for legitimate science. For being a major idol of the modern atheist movement, the dude often spoke entirely in religious terminology. Like, look at this incredible bullshit.  This was engraved on a plate with the stated reason being that, if aliens (or some other super-far-future civilization's residents) discover the satellite millions of years from now, they can tell exactly when it was sent up. It has all the common hallmarks of Sagan bullshitting people about aliens, like just assuming that they would read and comprehend 2-dimensional images. But this one is especially bad because not only are we assuming reading (and very specifically the type of reading that only humans do), we have to assume that they will be able to understand two-column layout (because apparently they ran out of room to fit in the binary numbers), as well as assume that they understand what an arrow image represents (and that an arrow pointing left means "back" while an arrow pointing right means "forward"). Then, to top it all off, we have to not only assume that they will know enough about our planet's continental drift, but that they'll be able to specifically understand a low-res Robinson projection map as actually being representative of the planet's landmasses and their locations. So basically, the whole thing is bullshit. But it's the type of bullshit that the "I loving love science!" crowd eats up with a spoon, and at least in the 70s that was enough to get you a few million in funding so you can launch a satellite that will actually be able to do some worthwhile science.
|
|
#
?
Dec 10, 2020 19:50
|
|
|
GABA ghoul posted:I will never stop laughing if aliens show up one day and they are not some 2001 enlightened beings ~the universe exploring itself~ hogwash but red neck capitalists looking to trade for hanjobs, expensive german cars and The Apprentice air rights. I just wish Carl Sagan would still be alive to witness it Hoped for vulcans, but made first contact with ferengi.  IIRC the "loving hut" cult leader claims that aliens told her explicitly that we are out of the cool kids club unless we all become vegan tree huggers. I need to start a cult, 'supreme master' is a cool rear end title.
|
|
#
?
Dec 10, 2020 19:51
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 7, 2024 00:21 |
|
|
Delta-Wye posted:IIRC the "loving hut" cult leader claims that aliens told her explicitly that we are out of the cool kids club unless we all become vegan tree huggers. I need to start a cult, 'supreme master' is a cool rear end title. Makes sense. Tree Hugger --> Won't suicide/kamikazee. Vegan --> Won't eat me. Humanity is, "kill everyone in the room then itself,"-level crazy. See: Climate Change. I googled UFO Cults. This jumped out: quote:[...] Palmer also suggested that Raëlism had an appeal for "committed atheists who are hopelessly secularized yet suffering from the existential angst of living in a world devoid of order and higher values."[273] You could sell that with environmentalism and Star Trek.
|
|
#
?
Dec 10, 2020 20:14
|
|