Let's Read Animorphs! The Whole Series! Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

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Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

You've reprinted chapter 6.

Sorry. Fixed.

# ? Dec 11, 2020 04:50

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# ? May 23, 2024 21:12

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

What about the female?

dead silence

uh.....................

# ? Dec 11, 2020 05:03

Acebuckeye13: Nov 2, 2010; Ultra Carp

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

What about the female?

dead silence

uh.....................

Hey, given their normal mission success rate, only taking 50% losses is pretty good!

# ? Dec 11, 2020 05:12

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

Acebuckeye13 posted:

Hey, given their normal mission success rate, only taking 50% losses is pretty good!

That's got to be a Top Three, at least

# ? Dec 11, 2020 05:13

Synesthesian Fetish: Apr 29, 2008; Ya know, I useta be President... I'll let you kids punch me anywhere but the face for a dollar.

quote:

Many of them would have made a nice snack for me, but Cassie and I have an agreement about that - I don’t eat her patients.

I just imagined Cassie releasing a healed rabbit and watching it hop away only to see Tobias swooping in for a snack as soon as it was far enough away

# ? Dec 11, 2020 05:18

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

poo poo, i need to find that video of the squirrel now

# ? Dec 11, 2020 05:22

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

Young Me noped out on the first Tobias book because a friend told me that it featured Tobias having bird sex with a bird.
Thanks a lot, Duncan.

# ? Dec 11, 2020 05:56

Acebuckeye13: Nov 2, 2010; Ultra Carp

Tree Bucket posted:

That's got to be a Top Three, at least

Someone should do a dive to see how many missions actually accomplish their objective and how many end in near-disaster.

# ? Dec 11, 2020 06:45

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

They saved Ax, and blew the Kandrona. They stopped the logging i guess but they got chumped by a termite queen, so I'm calling that a wash.
And they beat the Veleek. 3/11.

# ? Dec 11, 2020 07:08

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Acebuckeye13 posted:

Someone should do a dive to see how many missions actually accomplish their objective and how many end in near-disaster.

I saw one site that had summaries and reviews of each book, along with a running scorecard of wins for the Yeerks vs the Animorphs vs inconclusive or not really a conflict (like, say, book 2), and for the 54 main books, it was Animorphs 21, Yeerks 16.

# ? Dec 11, 2020 07:11

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

Epicurius posted:

I saw one site that had summaries and reviews of each book, along with a running scorecard of wins for the Yeerks vs the Animorphs vs inconclusive or not really a conflict (like, say, book 2), and for the 54 main books, it was Animorphs 21, Yeerks 16.

Animorphs 21, Visser 3

# ? Dec 11, 2020 07:56

Shwoo: Jul 21, 2011

They got the Pemalite Crystal away from the Yeerks, and the only casualty on their side was Eric's innocence. That's sort of a win, even if it didn't lead to the result they wanted.

# ? Dec 11, 2020 10:03

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Eh...... I left that one out, because they all would have died. A last minute hail-mary doesn't really count as a win in my books.

I mean, Jake straight up tells Marco he died.

# ? Dec 11, 2020 10:04

Fuschia tude: Dec 26, 2004; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019

Tree Bucket posted:

Young Me noped out on the first Tobias book because a friend told me that it featured Tobias having bird sex with a bird.
Thanks a lot, Duncan.

I mean, it does feature Tobias being horny for a bird as part of his general new-species confusion, which is only stopped by her getting fridged at the end, so not too far off...

# ? Dec 11, 2020 10:10

disaster pastor: May 1, 2007

Epicurius posted:

I saw one site that had summaries and reviews of each book, along with a running scorecard of wins for the Yeerks vs the Animorphs vs inconclusive or not really a conflict (like, say, book 2), and for the 54 main books, it was Animorphs 21, Yeerks 16.

Those are believable totals, but I feel like they're overly simplified. The Animorphs' "wins" are usually by the skin of their teeth and are only minor setbacks for the Yeerks, especially before the ghostwriting starts. Which is the kind of win you'd expect from a vastly outnumbered guerrilla force!

Rescuing Ax, rescuing Jake, killing the Veleek, stealing the Pemalite crystal: none of these really hurt the Yeerks the way Tobias getting trapped in morph hurts the Animorphs, they just keep the Yeerks at the same strength they were at before the book. (And rescuing Ax and stealing the Pemalite crystal, as well as escaping the Blade ship in book 5 and destroying the Kandrona in book 7, all require non-Animorph intervention just to get them out alive.)

# ? Dec 11, 2020 14:51

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

disaster pastor posted:

Those are believable totals, but I feel like they're overly simplified. The Animorphs' "wins" are usually by the skin of their teeth and are only minor setbacks for the Yeerks, especially before the ghostwriting starts. Which is the kind of win you'd expect from a vastly outnumbered guerrilla force!

Rescuing Ax, rescuing Jake, killing the Veleek, stealing the Pemalite crystal: none of these really hurt the Yeerks the way Tobias getting trapped in morph hurts the Animorphs, they just keep the Yeerks at the same strength they were at before the book. (And rescuing Ax and stealing the Pemalite crystal, as well as escaping the Blade ship in book 5 and destroying the Kandrona in book 7, all require non-Animorph intervention just to get them out alive.)

Sure, but I think a lot of that is ok. Slowing the Yeerks down or stopping one of their plans is still a win. So, in "The Capture" (the one where Jake gets taken over by Tom's Yeerk), they stop the Yeerks from taking over the governor who might become president. This doesn't weaken the Yeerks, but it maintains the status quo, and maintaining the status quo is a win for the Animorphs, because their goal is to stop the Yeerk plan for advancing until the Andalites show up and take over the situation. The French Resistance knew they weren't going to drive the Germans out of France during WWII, but by sabotaging German industrial production, getting information to the Allies, helping downed pilots, and stuff, they were still contributing to the fight and helping the war effort, which they knew would result in their country being freed.

# ? Dec 11, 2020 15:21

disaster pastor: May 1, 2007

Epicurius posted:

Sure, but I think a lot of that is ok. Slowing the Yeerks down or stopping one of their plans is still a win. So, in "The Capture" (the one where Jake gets taken over by Tom's Yeerk), they stop the Yeerks from taking over the governor who might become president. This doesn't weaken the Yeerks, but it maintains the status quo, and maintaining the status quo is a win for the Animorphs, because their goal is to stop the Yeerk plan for advancing until the Andalites show up and take over the situation. The French Resistance knew they weren't going to drive the Germans out of France during WWII, but by sabotaging German industrial production, getting information to the Allies, helping downed pilots, and stuff, they were still contributing to the fight and helping the war effort, which they knew would result in their country being freed.

Oh, I don't disagree at all. I'm just saying that the wins aren't equal (just like they weren't in your WWII example). That doesn't in any way make them unimportant, it just means "number of wins" doesn't say much about the quality.

# ? Dec 11, 2020 15:30

CidGregor: Sep 27, 2009; TG: if i were you i would just take that fucking devilbeast out behind the woodshed and blow its head off

Epicurius posted:

Sure, but I think a lot of that is ok. Slowing the Yeerks down or stopping one of their plans is still a win. So, in "The Capture" (the one where Jake gets taken over by Tom's Yeerk), they stop the Yeerks from taking over the governor who might become president. This doesn't weaken the Yeerks, but it maintains the status quo, and maintaining the status quo is a win for the Animorphs, because their goal is to stop the Yeerk plan for advancing until the Andalites show up and take over the situation.

I'd argue this specifically was a more decisive win than that, because didn't they also wipe a few hundred Yeerks in the hot tub on their way out with infested Jake? I'd call eliminating a whole pod of ~~prisoners~~ enemy combatants without any personnel losses yourselves a significant win.

disaster pastor posted:

Rescuing Ax, rescuing Jake, killing the Veleek, stealing the Pemalite crystal: none of these really hurt the Yeerks the way Tobias getting trapped in morph hurts the Animorphs, they just keep the Yeerks at the same strength they were at before the book. (And rescuing Ax and stealing the Pemalite crystal, as well as escaping the Blade ship in book 5 and destroying the Kandrona in book 7, all require non-Animorph intervention just to get them out alive.)

I'd also call rescuing Ax a win because it bolsters their own forces by 20%! Not to mention the valuable advanced intel he brings, even if it's limited by his youth (and unwillingness to share at first).

The Veleek and the Pemalite crystal too are big wins for the animorphs, as both eliminate a major enemy superweapon, which, yeah, doesn't particularly hurt the Yeerks compared to where they were before that book, but it's still thwarting a major threat.

tl;dr, Pushing back the enemy relative to their previous position isn't the only definition of a win!

CidGregor fucked around with this message at 17:03 on Dec 11, 2020

# ? Dec 11, 2020 16:51

Gun Jam: Apr 11, 2015

Lemme see:
Book one: initial primary objective, assault on the pool, failed. The second, freeing Cassie before infestation, was a success. Addernum: one member WIA (tobias) - and intelwise, it changed from "possible that some kids may saw something they shouldn't?" & "do we have Andalite survivors?" to "we have Andalite insurgents opposing us". L the first (arguably l - not cause it was not a failure, but cause they did managed to not all die. proportions)
2 : went after intel, got into a fight getting out. All made it, and a bit smarter for the effort. Either a wash, or you can be charitable and give them a w. Note the smallcase.
3 : managed to down an enemy supply ship. W! (also, they erred planning to get fish, made fools of themself getting it, and than the plan went tits-up, and if Tobias was a worse shot, would die pointlessy. Not changing the W, but still. You done goofed)
(okay, I'm assuming that said supply ship ain't an "eh")
4 : Managed to rescue Ax, got away cleanly. W. Did get some help from whale jesus, but he joined in since they helped the crucified cetacean before - no point against them.
5 : captured, own trap didn't work, would be total wipe if Yeerks didn't put infighing before winning the war. L.
6 : Sabotaged hospital operation. Success. One member ?IA, rest of team need to care for him a little - but that went smoothly. W or w.
7 : Assault on the Kandrona is successful. W.
MM 1 : On the defensive for once, survived and killed their pursuer. W.
8 : could had killed Visser 3, failed. But that's since they be unwilling to execute Alloran, not operational failure. It's a wash.
9 : managed to halt the logging operation. w.
10 : managed to get the objective. Relied on one-time help, died a bit on the way. Could argue either wa - y'know what? dunno. ?
~~11 : TPK, maybe managed to take Visser 3 with 'em on the way. L.~~
12 : succeded in having a guy not get turned. w.

# ? Dec 11, 2020 23:38

ANOTHER SCORCHER: Aug 12, 2018

I disagree about Book 3, their goal was to capture or decloak the Yeerk ship so as to reveal the invasion and they failed to do so. It was a clear L, even if they did destroy the vessel itself.

# ? Dec 12, 2020 01:41

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

the question as originally asked was 'end in near-disaster', which is why i gave them 3/11

# ? Dec 12, 2020 01:47

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Animorphs Book 13: The Change-Chapter 9

quote:

It took a while to figure out how we were going to deal with the Hork-Bajir. In the end, we decided I�d go ahead with Ax. The others would morph and stay close enough to hear what was happening.

The problem was, we were afraid to be honest with the Hork-Bajir. It could all still be some kind of a trap. We couldn�t let anyone know who we really were. Or what we really were.

See, the Yeerks know that there is someone out here messing with them. They know they�re being attacked by someone using animal morphs. Since only the Andalites have the power to morph, the Yeerks assume we must all be Andalites. They figure we must be a group of Andalite guerillas.

We want them to think that. We sure don�t want them realizing that the Animorphs are mostly a bunch of human kids. If they ever found out where Jake and Cassie and Rachel and Marco live � well, that would be the end of us.

The cave where Rachel and I left the Hork-Bajir was small for a creature of his size. It was hidden by brush and fallen branches. It went in about twenty feet, but was only about five feet tall.

I landed on a fallen branch outside the cave entrance. I waited till everyone was in position.

Then I said, <Hey, in there. Hork-Bajir. It�s me, the talking bird. I�m coming in. With a friend.>

It�s hard for a bird to push through bushes and thorns, so Ax stepped forward, almost dainty on his four hooves. He pushed the tangle aside with his weak arms. He stuck his head inside the dark cave.

The reaction was immediate.

�Hruthin! Andalite!�

A bladed arm slashed, missing Ax�s head by inches. Ax jerked back and cocked his tail to strike.

<NO!> I yelled. <Listen in there, you weed-whacker-looking jerk, calm down! And Ax-man, take it easy!>

The bladed arm withdrew slowly, and Ax relaxed his tail.

I took a few seconds to slow my heart down. When a bird is startled it wants to fly. Natural instinct. I had to fight to control it and stay put.

<What�s going on?> Cassie asked.

I looked up at the sky. Rachel and Cassie were up there in bird morph, Rachel as her bald-eagle self and Cassie as an owl. The sun was just setting. And when darkness fell an owl would be a lot more useful than an eagle. The two of them were flying cover. Making sure we weren�t disturbed.

<Oh, nothing much,> I said. <We�re all just saying hello. By the way, is everything clear up there, Cassie? Rachel?>

<Yep. Everything is clear,> Rachel called down.

I took a couple of deep breaths and tried to steady my nerves. Neither Ax nor I wanted to go into that cave anymore. You just can�t be careless when you�re dealing with Hork-Bajir. One fast move and they can leave you wondering why your head is rolling across the grass.

<Hork-Bajir, come on out,> I said firmly.

Slowly the big creature crawled out. He stood erect, blinking in the dim evening light.

�Not Hork-Bajir,� he said. �Jara Hamee. My name. Jara Hamee.�

<He�s kidding, right?> Jake said in my head. <His name is Jeremy?>

I glanced up to see a big, round, white-and-orange face. A face with deep, intelligent eyes and yellowish teeth about four inches long. It was Jake, in his tiger morph. He was above the cave opening on an outcropping of rock, if the Hork-Bajir had made a wrong move, Jake would have been all over him.

<You better talk to our boy Jara Hamee here,> I said to Ax. I figured Ax would know more about talking to other aliens than me.

Ax held his hands open in a gesture of peace. He lowered his tail still further. I could see he really didn�t want to do that. The air between the Andalite and the Hork-Bajir seemed to crackle with tension.

<My name is Aximili,> Ax said.

�You are Hruthin. Andalite.�

<Yes.>

�You kill me?�

<No. I won�t kill you,> Ax said.

�Hruthin kill Hork-Bajir,� the Hork-Bajir named Jara Hamee said. �Hork-Bajir kill Hruthin.�

<This is going really well,> Marco said dryly. Then he sang new words for that Barney song. 

I saw Marco settling in behind a stand of trees off to the left. He looked like a very large, very hairy man. A gorilla, actually. We had decided to have plenty of muscle ready, just in case the Hork-Bajir turned out to be trouble.

At least they're prepared.

quote:

<Andalites tried to save the Hork-Bajir from the Yeerks,> Ax said, sounding a little defensive.

The Hork-Bajir stared at Ax�s face. �You darkap. You fail.�

<Yes. We failed. But I�m here now. And I don�t kill Hork-Bajir � unless they are tools of the Yeerks.>

The Hork-Bajir made a sort of forward jerk with its head and a raspy little sound in its throat. It sounded like a derisive laugh. But who knows? I had no idea what a Hork-Bajir laugh should sound like. Or even if they laughed at all.

WHAP!

The Hork-Bajir slapped his chest with his left hand. It startled me enough that I was halfway airborne before I got a grip.

The Hork-Bajir threw out his arm and said, �Jara Hamee escaped the Yeerks. Jara Hamee free! Jara Hamee has his own head.� He pressed both hands gently against his snakelike head.

<How do we know you are free? How do we know you �have your own head�?> Ax asked him coldly.

The Hork-Bajir looked puzzled. Then, to my complete and total shock, he made a quick movement of his arm.

It was faster than a human eye could have seen.

But I saw it.

I saw the wrist blade slice right into his own head. He sliced right into his own head!

<No!> I yelled in horror.

<Yah!> Jake yelped.

There was a gash six inches deep in the Hork-Bajir�s head. He reached up with his clawed hands and pulled the gash open. He pulled his own head open! And it�s not like it didn�t hurt him. I could see the pain on his face.

Blood - or something - oozed in shades of deep red and deeper blue-green. He held the gash open and we stared, Ax and me, right into the Hork-Bajir�s brain. I guess Jake and Marco could see it pretty clearly, too.

<Oh, man,> Marco moaned. <Can I just say �yuck�?>

Jara Hamee pressed the two sides of the gash together. He held the cut for a few seconds, and with amazing speed, the bleeding coagulated.
A long scab began to form over the gash.

That�s when I started breathing again. I had stopped. Then I started my heart up. I swear it had stopped, too.

<Did you see a Yeerk in there in his head?> I asked Ax shakily.

<No,> Ax said, just as shaken as I was. <No Yeerk.>

<Did that scare the pee out of you, Ax-man, or doesn�t that kind of thing bother you Andalites?>



<That wasn�t necessary,> I told Jara Hamee. His face - insofar as he had a face - was still scrunched up in pain. He was breathing hard and sweating the same blue-green fluid I�d seen inside his head.

�Necessary,� he grunted through his pain. �Jara Hamee is strong. But Jara Hamee needs help.�

<Help to do what?> Ax asked him gently.

The Hork-Bajir stared at Ax, then shifted his gaze to me. �Flying animal saw my kalashi. Jara Hamee must find her. Jara Hamee �� He struggled to come up with a word. Then he made a gesture with his hands, as if someone were tearing something out of him. As if someone were removing his heart.

There was no question what it meant. Even across the huge divide between our species, I could recognize that emotion.

<You love her,> I said.

�Jara Hamee loves,� the Hork-Bajir said. �Kalashi, Jara Hamee free. Want free.�

Ax swiveled his stalk eyes back toward me. 

<Yeah. Me, too, Ax.>

<Hey. You guys down there?> Cassie called down from above. <We have company coming.>

Jara Hamee is a very....direct individual.

Chapter 10

quote:

<What kind of company, Cassie?> I heard Jake snap.

<Fifteen, maybe twenty people. They�re strung out in a line. Coming this way.>

<And I have an equal number coming from the southeast,> Rachel said. <And � oh, man. They have Hork-Bajir with them! It�s not even dark and they�re bringing Hork-Bajir out! In the open!>

<They want our boy here real badly,> I said. <It�s a big risk running aliens through the woods when it�s still light enough to see.>

<They�re converging on you,> Cassie reported. 

<Talk about bad timing. It�s getting late,> Marco pointed out. <It�s almost dinnertime. My dad will give me much grief if I don�t get home in time for dinner.>

Jake laughed. So did I. It was just so ridiculous having to worry about being grounded when we were halfway surrounded by Yeerks.

<We could easily escape,> Ax said. <We can all morph some small animal or bird and not be seen.>

<That wouldn�t help old Jara Hamee here,> Marco said.

<Distraction,> Jake said. <We need to draw the bad guys away.>

<But the Yeerks are looking for a Hork-Bajir,> Ax pointed out. <Will they be foolish enough to follow any of us?>

<We can only hope they will,> Jake said tersely. <We can get away, but I don�t think we can leave Jara Hamee behind.>

But I had a different idea. Unfortunately, it was a dangerous idea. A very dangerous idea. And the danger would all be on someone else. Not me.

I hesitated. It makes me sick when other people take risks that I can�t take. <Look, uh � there might be a way �> I said at last.

<What?> Jake asked.

<They want a Hork-Bajir to chase, right? Well, we could give them one.>

<Morph a Hork-Bajir?> Marco asked. <Ewwww.>

<Jara Hamee isn�t just any animal,> Cassie objected. <He�s sentient. He�s self-aware.>

<Ax morphed me once,> Jake pointed out. <And Cassie, you morphed Rachel.>

<I�m just saying we have to get Jara Hamee�s permission, at least,> Cassie said. <But whatever you decide, do it quick!>

<I�ll do it. I�ll morph the Hork-Bajir,> Rachel said. Suddenly I saw her glide down through the trees on her huge eagle wings. 
<No. I should do it,> Ax said quickly.

<No way,> Rachel said. She was already starting to demorph. 

<Dibs?>

 Rachel explained.

Ax let it go and focused his main eyes back on the Hork-Bajir. <Yeerks are coming. One of my friends wishes to morph you. To trick the Yeerks. Do you agree?>

�Jara Hamee hates Yeerks,� the big Hork-Bajir said. Like that was all the answer he needed to give.

<Okay then, turn around, Jara Hamee,> I ordered the Hork-Bajir. <Close your eyes and don�t look till I tell you. If you open your eyes this Hruthin here � this Andalite � will slice and dice you. You got it? Eyes closed.>

The Hork-Bajir turned around obediently. I would have laughed if I wasn�t feeling half-sick with worry for Rachel. I mean, this seven-foot-tall monster was taking orders from a twenty-inch-long bird.

But my sense of humor was slightly damaged right then. Rachel was going to morph a Hork- Bajir. And then she was going to draw off the Yeerks. She was going to make them chase her.

It made me sick to think about it. It had been my idea. My brilliant idea. And she would take the risk.

Rachel began to emerge from her eagle body. She rose up swiftly from the pine needle and rotting leaf floor of the forest. Up and up, a weird, misshapen, nightmare creature made of fair human flesh and dark brown feathers, bright yellow beak, and lengthening legs.

I would have given anything to be able to go in her place. But I can�t morph. I would be safe in the sky or in the trees while she was trying to outrun the enemy.

It was the story of my life lately. My friends went into danger, and I stayed safe. All because I couldn�t morph.

In a minute Rachel was no longer a bird, but a human girl. A human girl who even now, even with all of us scared, managed to look like some smiling magazine cover girl.

<You don�t have to do this, Rachel,> I said.

<It�s Rachel�s greatest thrill,> Marco said. <Morph a Hork-Bajir? Hey, she�ll finally get to become on the outside what she�s always been inside.>

<Shut up, Marco,> I snapped.

Rachel gave me a look that said, �Don�t worry, Tobias.� But she said nothing because she was now fully human. We still didn�t want the Hork-Bajir to know we were human. We didn�t want him to hear a human voice

That's basically why Ax wanted to do it, I think.
.

quote:

The Hork-Bajir stood peacefully as Rachel reached out her slender fingers to touch the creature�s back. The Hork-Bajir went slightly limp as she began to �acquire� him. To absorb his DNA and make it part of her.

<Guys?> Cassie called down from the sky. <I�m serious now. The bad guys are definitely getting close. I can see them.>

With my hawk�s hearing, I heard the sounds of heavy creatures stomping and crashing clumsily through the woods. I heard the metallic clank of weapons against belts and the muttered commands between human-Controllers and Hork-Bajir.

<Cassie�s right,> I said. <We�re down to two minutes maximum.>

Rachel gave a nod. She sent me a cocky wink. She closed her eyes and focused on the new morph.

And then � Rachel began to change. I wanted to turn away, but somehow I felt like I owed it to her to watch. It was because of me this was happening to her.

I can�t tell you how utterly bizarre that scene was. The woods were growing dark. Shadows were deep all around, and even with my hawk�s eyes I couldn�t see through the shadows. Overhead the sky was dark blue streaked with red and orange, not yet black. True night was still an hour away.
But under the shade of the trees it was night already.

We stood there, an insane nightmare of creatures - the Hork-Bajir, eyes closed tight; the Andalite, deadly tail twitching nervously at the prospect of battle; the orange-and-black-striped tiger climbing down from the rocks, moving like liquid power; a gorilla walking erect, using its massive fists as extra feet; and me � the Bird-boy.

And in the middle of our group was Rachel. She was growing taller now. She was already tall for a girl, but now she was quickly heading toward Shaq-size.

Her skin was changing. It turned dark, almost green-black. Her feet mutated swiftly from dainty human to the three-toed, one-spur feet of the Hork-Bajir Feet that looked like my own talons except much, much larger.

Her face grew elongated. The jaw bulged outward and became smooth as a bullet. Her eyes were narrow, red-tinged slits. And then the blades began to appear.

SHWOOP! Horn-blades exploded from her forehead!

SHWOOP! Blades appeared at the wrists and elbows!

SHWOOP! Blades grew at her knees!

Rachel had become a walking razor. Seven feet of muscled deadly speed.

<So,> Rachel said. <So this is a Hork-Bajir.>

So, the plan is for her to draw the Yeerks off and then get away from them.

# ? Dec 12, 2020 03:42

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

I don't know why my brain works this way, because it didn't even occur to me the danger inherent in letting him see Rachel demorph - I thought Ax should do it just because it would be quicker - but when I saw this...

quote:

Ax held his hands open in a gesture of peace.

...I immediately thought that's a human gesture which means you're not holding a weapon and wouldn't apply to either Andalites or Hork-Bajir!

Also, it's funny that Jara Hamee is a Wife Guy, and also it felt very weird that it cut straight from a tight chase and hunt through the forest to a meeting in the barn. One of them didn't even think they should stay with him in the cave, in case he wanders off?

# ? Dec 12, 2020 04:18

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

freebooter posted:

...I immediately thought that's a human gesture which means you're not holding a weapon and wouldn't apply to either Andalites or Hork-Bajir!

Bob grinned broadly at the with chimp, maintaining steady eye contact, in a gesture of peace

# ? Dec 12, 2020 05:12

Shwoo: Jul 21, 2011

It's weird to see the Animorphs treating Hork-Bajir like they're horrifying and gross. The books treated them way more like monsters early on.

# ? Dec 12, 2020 06:42

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

Shwoo posted:

It's weird to see the Animorphs treating Hork-Bajir like they're horrifying and gross. The books treated them way more like monsters early on.

It's an odd choice, to be sure. Kids automatically love anything dinosaur-shaped!

# ? Dec 12, 2020 08:25

SirSamVimes: Jul 21, 2008; ~* Challenge *~

freebooter posted:

I don't know why my brain works this way, because it didn't even occur to me the danger inherent in letting him see Rachel demorph - I thought Ax should do it just because it would be quicker - but when I saw this...

...I immediately thought that's a human gesture which means you're not holding a weapon and wouldn't apply to either Andalites or Hork-Bajir!

Also, it's funny that Jara Hamee is a Wife Guy, and also it felt very weird that it cut straight from a tight chase and hunt through the forest to a meeting in the barn. One of them didn't even think they should stay with him in the cave, in case he wanders off?

Andalites and (infested) Hork-Bajir still use guns.

# ? Dec 12, 2020 09:27

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

Tree Bucket posted:

Bob grinned broadly at the with chimp, maintaining steady eye contact, in a gesture of peace

I think the reason it really stuck out to me is there's a great bit in Terry Pratchett's book Only You Can Save Mankind where a character peacefully approaches some aliens smiling and with hands outstretched - but they're lizard/crocodile aliens, and the narrator then explains that baring your teeth and extending your claws is considered a threat display.

SirSamVimes posted:

Andalites and (infested) Hork-Bajir still use guns.

Yeah but open hands wouldn't be an instinctive gesture for them, whereas for us it probably dates back to caveman times. I'm pretty sure Ax also shakes his head sometimes - a deeply human gesture universal across all cultures, because babies will turn their head away from a nipple if they don't want to feed, so it gets ingrained as a gesture for rejection.

But I think Pratchett also wrote something once about how someone said he couldn't call gypsies that on Discworld because the word is derived from "Egypt" and he said something like "I'm not interested in writing books for people who want to learn Klingon." I'm not trying to gotcha KA, I just think this stuff is fun to note. (I guess that actually makes me similar to the people who want to learn Klingon).

# ? Dec 12, 2020 10:39

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

I'm just annoyed that Andalites seem to prefer the worst measurement - the mile.

# ? Dec 12, 2020 10:51

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

I'm just annoyed that Andalites seem to prefer the worst measurement - the mile.

Andalites:
-use miles
-carry a lethal weapon everywhere
-unfamiliar with books
-fond of military adventures

Hmmm

# ? Dec 12, 2020 11:19

Terror Sweat: Mar 15, 2009

Tree Bucket posted:

Andalites:
-use miles
-carry a lethal weapon everywhere
-unfamiliar with books
-fond of military adventures

Hmmm

See themselves as police, have used weapons of mass destruction on civilians. Might be on to something here

# ? Dec 12, 2020 17:50

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Oh, I don't think the books try to hide that the Andalites are very American aliens. Also, I guess if you want to be generous (and take a position on the Andalite chest debate), Ax opening his arms is a way to show that his chest is defenseless and that there's nothing to stop him getting stabbed in the hearts.

# ? Dec 12, 2020 18:51

pastor of muppets: Aug 21, 2007; We were somewhere around the Living Hive, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold...

quote:

<Did that scare the pee out of you, Ax-man, or doesn�t that kind of thing bother you Andalites?>

# ? Dec 12, 2020 18:52

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

I've never really been clear on just how long their tails are. The length of their bodies? A little more?

# ? Dec 12, 2020 18:56

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

I've never really been clear on just how long their tails are. The length of their bodies? A little more?

Longer than their bodies, because they can reach their tails up or around and hit things in front of them. If you're going by book covers, probably the best picture of a complete Andalite body is the book Visser, and in that case, the tail is about a length and a half the size of the body.

# ? Dec 12, 2020 19:23

Tulul: Oct 23, 2013; THAT SOUND WILL FOLLOW ME TO HELL.

Alternatively, they fight rear end-backwards towards the enemy, using their eye stalks to see behind them. The cowards at Scholastic would not allow Applegate to fully share her vision of rear end-to-rear end combat in the Andalite Chronicles.

# ? Dec 12, 2020 19:38

Synesthesian Fetish: Apr 29, 2008; Ya know, I useta be President... I'll let you kids punch me anywhere but the face for a dollar.

Tulul posted:

Alternatively, they fight rear end-backwards towards the enemy, using their eye stalks to see behind them. The cowards at Scholastic would not allow Applegate to fully share her vision of rear end-to-rear end combat in the Andalite Chronicles.

I hope there is fan art about this

# ? Dec 13, 2020 03:19

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Synesthesian Fetish posted:

I hope there is fan art about this

You know your life's work now.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 03:27

wizzardstaff: Apr 6, 2018; Zorch! Splat! Pow!

Synesthesian Fetish posted:

I hope there is fan art about this

https://valoscope.tumblr.com/post/632866758827638784/gallusrostromegalus-sarifel-corrisafid-ilxhel

# ? Dec 13, 2020 03:41

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# ? May 23, 2024 21:12

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Animorphs Book 13: The Change-Chapter 11

quote:

<You can open your eyes now,> I told Jara Hamee.

He did. And he turned to face � himself. Rachel was an identical copy of the Hork-Bajir, grown from his own DNA. I don�t know what I expected. But it sure wasn�t what happened next.

�HeeeeRRRROOOOOWW!� Rachel bellowed in a voice that made the leaves quake.

�HeeeeRRRROOOOWWW-Unh!� Jara Hamee responded.

<Shut up, you idiots!> Marco cried frantically. <We�re halfway surrounded by Yeerks!>

SSSSEEEWW! Rachel slashed viciously at the air! She missed Jara Hamee by an inch! Half an inch!

Jara Hamee responded instantly with a forward stab of one of his big feet. If it had connected, it would have ripped Rachel�s stomach open. But the blow missed by a hair.

Rachel slashed and Jara Hamee slashed, but all the blows missed. Not by much, but they did miss.

<Back off!> Jake yelled. <Stop it!> I could see he was getting ready to jump in between them.

That was all we needed - a three-way fight between two Hork-Bajir and a tiger.

<Jake, wait! I think � I think it�s just a ritual,> I said. <You see this kind of thing all the time in nature. It�s a dominance ritual.>

The two Hork-Bajir had stopped slashing. Now they preened, circling around each other, stretching up on tiptoes to see who was taller.

Right. This is just a display, not a serious rivalry.

quote:

<Hey, we so totally do not have time for games,> Marco said.

He was right. I saw flashlights through the trees.

Jara Hamee and Rachel bent their heads forward and touched their scythelike horns together with surprising gentleness.

<Rachel, are you okay in there?> I asked her.

<What? Um � what?> she asked. She was confused. Morphing a new creature is confusing.

Sometimes the experience can be overwhelming. The instincts of the creature surface and can even take over control for a while.

Or that�s what everyone tells me, anyway. It�s been a while since I morphed.

<Rachel? We are out of time,> Jake said gently. <Are you up for this?>

<Um � yeah. Uh � okay. Sure. Sorry. I got kind of caught up there for a minute. I�m not getting Jara Hamee�s thoughts or memories, but I definitely got a big bundle of Hork-Bajir instincts.>

<Jara Hamee? Back in the cave,> Jake said. <Do not come out. Everyone get ready. We just want to lead the Yeerks away. We are not looking for a fight. Rachel? You hear that about not looking for a fight?>

<Mmm-hmm. Sure,> Rachel said, even as she slashed at the air, trying out the Hork-Bajir blades. <Whatever.>

<Rachel, you can still back out of this,> I suggested.

<I�ll bet you ten bucks she says, �Let�s do it,�> Marco said quickly.

Rachel turned her snakelike head toward Marco and grinned what I think was a Hork-Bajir grin.

<Let�s � go for it.>

<Oh, man!> Marco complained. <She cheated.>

I mean, fair, she did, but you have to wonder about Marco's willingness to get into a cash bet with a hawk, a species known for its vast financial resources.

quote:

And then the enemy arrived. Suddenly four human-Controllers armed with guns crashed clumsily into view. And with them, two Hork-Bajir.

They saw Jake and Rachel and me.

They did not see Marco. He lumbered up behind one of the Hork-Bajir, tapped him on the shoulder, and the instant the Hork-Bajir turned, Marco landed a punch that would have split a telephone pole.

Ka-BOOM!

The Hork-Bajir went down hard.

�Whoa!� one of the humans cried.

And suddenly the Controllers weren�t chasing us. We were chasing them.

I flapped hard and landed on Rachel�s forward-swept horn blade. I gripped the bone blade with my talons.

<What are you doing?> Rachel asked.

<Just hitching a ride,> I said. <I�m not going to be left out. Not this time.>

<Cool. Let�s go.>

<Yee-hah!> I yelled with totally, totally fake enthusiasm.

We took off through the woods. Rachel�s Hork-Bajir body had an easy, loping run that was faster than it seemed at first.

I sat there holding on tight. I was tense and scared and ready for trouble. But at least I was in for the fight, you know? At least I wasn�t off somewhere safe while the others ran all the risks.

Right, so this is all Tobias trying to compensate. We've seen over the past few books his growing feelings of helplessness and failure, that while the rest of the team is actively fighting the Yeerks, because of the fact that he's a hawk and can't morph, he's stuck in a relatively safe scouting and recon mode. It's not really a fair self assessment, given what he's done as part of the Animorphs so far....I mean, he took down a Yeerk supply ship. But still, it's something that's been bothering him, pretty visibily.

quote:

<You guys!> Cassie called down from above. <Stop chasing those Controllers! They�re setting up a trap. They�re leading you right between two bunches of bad guys!>

<Oops. Time to turn around,> I told Rachel.

<Yep.>

Also, I'll point out here that what Cassie just did is what Tobias SHOULD have been doing; looking ahead and seeing the big picture, watching for Yeerk traps, but that he's not doing that, because, in his desire to feel useful, he's put himself in a situation, hitchhiking on Rachel, where he's really of no use at all right now.

quote:

She turned and started running in a new direction. She was like some big tank, and I was the hood ornament.

Then �

<Yaaahhh!> Rachel cried. She pitched forward. I pitched forward. We hit the ground hard, and rolled through a juniper bush.

<Sorry. I tripped. You okay, Tobias?>

<Yeah. I think so.>

I was caught in the branches of the bush. I couldn�t fight too hard to get out or I�d damage my feathers.

Slice!

Slice!

Suddenly the juniper branches were gone.

<All right! I like these blades,> Rachel said. <Excellent!>

I fluttered my wings and hopped up to get back on Rachel�s horns. But I must have overshot my goal because suddenly I was flying through the air.

No, wait! Hold on! I was up above the trees! Impossible! How did I get here? I hadn�t even flown. I�d barely hopped and now I was up in the sky? What the �?

I did a quick turnaround, trying to figure out where I was. The sun was setting fast and there wasn�t enough light for me to use my full powers of sight. But I wasn�t blind, either. I saw a horned owl floating just at treetop level. Cassie. But she was so far away. Maybe a quarter mile!

<No way,> I said in total confusion.

Then I heard gunfire. Quite close. In fact, just beneath me.

BLAM! BLAM!

A human voice yelled, �Freeze! Freeze or I put the next shot in your second heart.�

There was a small clearing below me. I knew the meadow. It was the territory of a Swainson�s hawk. Not as nice as my own meadow, but a nice territory, anyway.

But I wasn�t looking for mice in this clearing. I saw three humans, each well-armed, surrounding a single Hork-Bajir.

Rachel?

No. Couldn�t be. She was back � back where I should be. Was it Jara Hamee himself? What was going on?

I noticed that one of the human-Controllers seemed to be sick. He was doubling over, like he was having a spasm. No, wait! He was morphing!

It took a few seconds for me to be sure. But when I saw the extra stalk eyes appear and the sharp-tipped tail, I knew. It was an Andalite.

There are only two Andalites on planet Earth. One is Ax. The other is not a true Andalite at all.

It�s a Yeerk who uses an Andalite body.

The only Andalite-Controller in all the galaxy.

The only Yeerk to have the power to morph.

Our greatest enemy, leader of the Yeerk invasion of Earth, murderer of Ax�s brother, Elfangor.

Visser Three.

It's everybody's good friend Visser Three! An Animorphs' book isn't complete until he shows up. Also, everybody's got two hearts but humans....Andalites have two hearts, Hork-Bajir have two hearts. I have no idea what the internal anatomy of Yeerks or Taxxons are, although Earth slugs have a single heart, and so do centipedes.

Chapter 12

quote:

Andalites always look like they�re right on the borderline between cute and dangerous. But with Visser Three, that line doesn�t even exist.
It�s not that he looks any different outside. I mean, he looks like an older Andalite is all. But there is some dark, evil glow that shines from within him. And when you meet him you have no doubt � no doubt at all that he is dangerous.

Deadly dangerous.

<Guys?> I called in thought-speak. <Um, Jake? Rachel?>

No answer. I was too far away from them.

The Andalite body emerged fully from the human form it had morphed.

<Well, well, Ket Halpak,> Visser Three said. <That is your name, isn�t it? Your original Hork- Bajir name? You�ve run us a nice chase, but it�s time to come home now.>

Visser Three seldom bothered to whisper his thought-speak. I guess when you�re that powerful it never occurs to you to worry that someone might overhear.

Ket Halpak, he had called the Hork-Bajir. So it was not Jara Hamee. This was his kalashi. His wife.

They had her surrounded. Two humans carrying shotguns and Visser Three, armed with all the lightning speed of an Andalite. Not to mention morphs from all the dark corners of the galaxy.

There was no way to save the Hork-Bajir female. I�d have to take Visser Three out, and that wasn�t going to happen. See, Andalites - even false Andalites - are impossible to sneak up on.

Those extra stalk eyes, turning this way and that, always looking in every direction, made it impossible.

Unless �

Unless there was a distraction. I knew the Swainson�s hawk tended to roost in one particular elm tree. The light was too dim to see him. He might not even be there. But if he was �

Tobias is a red-tailed hawk. Swainson's Hawk is slightly smaller and lighter, but actually has a longer wingspan. They're also called grasshopper hawks or locust hawks, because they like to eat grasshoppers/locusts.

quote:

I flapped hard to gain altitude. Not too much, there wasn�t time. Just enough. Forty feet. Fifty feet. Sixty feet. Then � I folded my wings and plummeted toward the ground.

�Tseeeeeeeeer!� I screamed in the voice of a red-tail.

�Tseeeeeeeeer!� I called again, making sure the Swainson�s hawk would hear me.

And down I came, wings back and tail narrowed for maximum speed. I aimed straight for Visser Three.

If the Swainson�s hawk wasn�t home, I was toast.

Then, a rustling sound from the elm! From the corner of my eye I saw wings flapping. The Swainson�s was coming out to defend his territory against the pushy red-tail.

I�ve never been so relieved to see a fellow hawk.

<That bird! It�s probably one of them!> Visser Three shouted, pointing at the Swainson�s.

The two human-Controllers spun and raised their shotguns to their shoulders. And Visser Three, bless his evil heart, turned his stalk eyes toward what he thought was a threat.

<I�m a friend of Jara Hamee,> I said to the Hork-Bajir. <Get ready!>

Talons forward! Beak thrust out! A sudden flaring of wings to adjust the angle and �

Strike!

My talons raked Visser Three�s exposed stalk eyes from behind.

<ARRRRRHHHH!> Visser Three bellowed in pain.

<Now, RUN!> I told the Hork-Bajir.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! The shotguns fired.

And we were out of there! Out! Of! There!

The Hork-Bajir bolted. I flapped like my life depended on it. It did.

The Swainson�s hawk turned so hard, so fast, I thought he�d been hit. But then he was hauling his tail feathers outta there, too.

<Andalite filth!> I heard Visser Three scream in my head.

But by then I was out over the trees and the Hork-Bajir was running flat-out below me, and I was just screaming like an idiot from the sheer insane rush of it all.

<Yesss! Yesss! Bird-boy shoots, he scores! Yah-HAH!>

So, regarding idiocy. I mean, it's good that he helped Ket Halpak get away. But this is yet another example of Tobias overcompensating by engaging in dangerous behavior.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 03:52

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Read Animorphs! The Whole Series! Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

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